Seventeen years had passed since their admission, supine, hands clasped. The moment paused and rewound so many times it has begun to slip and slur. Yet it remains solid, holding down everything from that time, forward. It is the ground to which any path may be traced.
It is far from nothing.
They were alone, their easy banter quickly escalating to hysteria. It was cast. He pressed his words between their laughter, hoping that the weight of their meaning may be buoyed by the mirth of the spell. As he had hoped, they had caught her off guard. And, she swallowed her response, continuing to laugh as if what he said was part of the folly.
It is easier to disbelieve.
Then he turned to her and she found the truth in his eyes. He wanted to take it back; he did take it back. While she held her breath and hoped that she could find her words, and that they wouldn’t sound ridiculous in the wake of her stay, he had let his words disintegrate.
The moment was gone.
In an instant, fear can consume you. It can make you refrain from disclosure, from the truth. You may hold your tongue or reel in its wag. Once it is fixed, fear can thrive in you for years, feeding off of regret, recycling into a fierce energy…anger.
It can destroy.
Or you may gain experience, chalk it up to another missed cue. You can allow yourself to forgive, provide another the opportunity to atone. Understand that when acknowledged, fear can guide you. You can turn it around and fear can provide additional strength to push you beyond previous expectations, to rise above limitations.
What has become of them?
Over 2500 miles travelled between the lines, their lives. They both stand as a movable marker for a moment, a slide rule for a decision. They are not broken, but both are damaged. Each has a life filled with family, friends, knowledge, achievements, and failed attempts. Of course, there is a portion of their lives of which the other is aware, a fraction that they speculate. But, neither knows that the other will occasionally recall that moment, reflecting on, but never regretting, its purpose.
p.s. nemo.
Friday, August 27, 2010
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