It was written from another’s perspective. A recollection of a conversation turned first person. Expensive, anti-climactic words ringing in my ears with an unrelenting need to, once again, find voice. In reverse, they became a bit of guilt unfurled to reveal how my selfish needs superseded best interest. Recall that I held on too long, to that room, to that moment.
“Just say it, say it already”
“I don’t.”
As painful as it may have been to hear it rephrased in that manner, I never meant to be cruel. And now, when the melody of the moment presents itself, I am reminded to never again make that mistake. Although ironically, it was only after repeated cost that it became my lesson. I hope it has become yours, as well.
p.s. volumes like breadcrumbs lead back.
Friday, September 12, 2008
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:)
Mayo,
It's Mustaine kind of night.
Addicted To Chaos
Only yesterday they told me you were gone
All these normal people, will I find another one?
Monkey on my back, Aching my bones
I forgot you said "One day you'll walk alone"
I said I need you, does that make me wrong?
Am I a weak man, are you feeling strong?
My heart was blackened, It's bloody red
A hole in my heart, a hole in my head?
Who will help me up?
Where's the helping hand?
Will you turn on me?
Is this my final stand?
In a dream I cannot see
Tangled abstract fallacy
Random turmoil builds in me
I'm addicted to chaos
Lights shined on my path,
Turn bad days into good
Turn breakdowns into blocks, I smashed 'em
Cause I could
My brain was Labored, My head would spin
Don't let me down, don't give up, don't give in
The rain comes down, cold wind blows
The plans we made are back up on the road
Turn up my collar, welcome the unknown
Remember that you said
"One day you'll walk alone"
Reckoning Day
I like the way that I make you itch
And all the reasons I give you to bitch
And how I make you wanna scream in pain
And feel your life is just a losing game
I like the way that you let me in
The way you look when the walls cave in
I like the way that your stomach knots
And how you cry for it all to stop
I like the way that you fool yourself
And make believe there's nobody else
I like the way that you stand in line
And beg salvation from the empty skies
Don't want no revenge
Ain't no pay back time
It ain't called getting even
Here comes the reckoning day
I like the things that you try to fake
And your face when I see you break
And that you say you will pray for me
You realize you are prey for me
I like the way you stay on attack
No matter what, I keep coming back
And how you try to hold me down
But you end up driven to the ground
Yeah, I couldn't decide which one I wanted to sing more, so they both won out. I gave Dave Mustaine a little piece of my soul, back when I had a lot more to give, a long time ago. He still has it.
I bought new old music today...Megadeth, Judas Priest, and Rob Zombie.
Sometimes, it's all about the metal.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Somewhere there's a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there's a reason
Why some things just fall through
We don't always see them
For what they really are
But I know there's a reason,
Just can't see it from this far
Maybe I don't like it, but I have no choice
I know that somewhere,
someone hears my voice
:(
2
three
:)
Night Anon!
Night Solly!
Mayo,
Well, so yeah. I've been wandering around and I've come to the realization that there are some crazy ass mofo's in this world.
I mean CEZY.
And you know what's scary? I don't even think they know. @_@
Just be careful out there. M'Kay? Have a great night, dude.
SS!!!!!!
OMG, iz you stuck in the Nutella again? You know she's gonna make me eat some Friday, right? Yep. Jules will be force feeding me Nutella. O_O
I hope you are having a great week! We miss you, dude. Oh, and check your shoes before you leave the house tomorrow! Bwah! Yeah, I totally went to work with two different shoes one.
See, I was thinking that I lost my mind...
Wait, maybe I'm the crazy one?
Nah.
Night BlogBelieve!
Sweet dreams!
^_^
shoes one
Ummm, 'shoes on'. Not one.
Damn. I am crazier than hell.
>.<
Isn't my sister fantastic? I ♥ her like whoaaaah!
She totally rocked those mismatched shoes like it was her own fashion statement because that's how she rolls.
Anybody home?
*wanders through the Castle*
*knocks on Amy's door*
Hey, it's me! Let me know if you want to have a snack or something.
*goes further down the hall*
*knocks on Ergo's door*
I hope you're not feeling so sad today, Ergo. Let me know if you want to talk.
*moves on down the hall*
*knocks on BC's door*
Oh, that's right, she went shopping. I'll catch her later.
*one more stop*
*knocks on Elena's door*
Halloo! Are you about, Elena? Come on down and read with me. I'll be in the front room.
*goes back downstairs for Tab and a comfy chair, book in hand*
Hello OPJ
Anyone here?
Hi there J, how are you? *hugs*
GAHHH I totally screwed up my Hula in front of my favorite dancer! I started way too fast and then couldn't figure out the tempo; I usually do this dance a hell of a lot faster and it was live music and,w ell, yeah. And I forgot to take off my striped socks. And everyone was like, "Oh, such a beautiful dance, good job, good job!" AND I KNOW IT WASN'T!
>_<
Well, I have to let it go!
It waas still a great day. More after a nice shower because I am icky. I haven't washed in hours.
Oh shoot, I almost forgot!
*runs back upstairs, knocks on Wendy's door*
Heya Peaches! Come tell me all about this Nightwish concert! And if you run into PJ or TJ, bring them with you!
*goes back down stairs to get Tab*
Hi there anon
Hello Anon, hello BC! How are the both of you tonight?
Hello BC
I am well. How are the two of you?
Mayo is always such a sad sack.
Hallo Original PunK J, Bleeding Chaos, Amyranth and Anonymous(i)
Hello other anons.
I am well, Original PunK J. Are you well? You, BC? Anonymous(i)?
YES YES! Bring on the Night Crew!!! ^_____^
How am I? Hmm, where to start.
Well, to begin with, my mom and my sisters seem to have decided I'm either incompetent or crazy or just trying to go against their agenda for me. Next, we're trying to stretch X amount of money into XX amount of money, and it just ain't happenin'. So, add my worry over my family to my worry over finances, and throw in some worry for various friends who're having difficult times or are ill, and I'm just fucking wonderful. :I
Seriously though, it could be better...but it could also be worse. :D
Are you well, YES YES? Hallo to you.
It is good to see you here again OPJ.
I hope that OPL has been well. I hope you all have been well.
I am sorry to hear of troubles, Original PunK J. I hope things quickly get better for you.
I also want to hear more from BC, the OP's, Amyranth, TJ, PJ, Elena, Wendy etc etc etc....
Now, it is THEIR time.
I think things will work out for you OPJ. Try not to worry. How is OPL?
It is your time too, 11.05. How are you?
SO GLAD Mayo is finally doing the right thing for the Night Crew. It saddens me so greatly that he has ignored them mostly in favor of the ass kissers. He should hope that it is not, "too little, to late"...
THis is a time where all who are friendly and REAL are to be accepted here, 11.06. I am well.
Second 11.03, thank you for the nice words. I've missed being here. L is doing fine. If you'd like to leave her a message, you can do so at my blog if you like.
11.04, thanks for your concern, I appreciate that. Troubles just tend to pile up, as I'm sure you know.
Maybe, if all of you anons are going to be here for a while, you could identify yourselves with a temp name. Please? Thanks.
I am not Mayo.
aiwtc. more real friends and real lives. real personalities instead of hollow ones. no knives hidden. no lies about how exciting their lives are. jus tdown to earth real people.
Has Mayo done something for the night crew? I'm certain Mayo does not play the favorites game. I think he posts when he has time to post. Night or Day.
I'm not Mayo either.
Kapuna hasn't washed. She must smell like LynZ
GV grow up. Or get help.
Pick one.
And this is not in regards to the Kapunua/LynZ comment.
♥so fizzy♥
:)
It doesn't matter who any of you are, Anons, it just helps me keep you all straight. I hate to address someone mistakenly.
I'm good J. I was at the store buying some food. I'm on the way home.
How are you?
I must leave now. It was nice.
Goodnight
I'm feeling better, BC, thanks for asking. I heard from someone earlier who's always there when I need them, so my load seems a little lighter now.
Did you see Killer while you were shopping? How'd that go? And how's Chocolate doing, you don't talk about her much now?
Goodnight, 11.17, it was nice talking with you. Sleep well.
OPJ,
what do you think about Gerard not going to one of the shows to support Frank and James?
All eyes turned up to the hero
Charismatic icon animal man
Lyrical visionary caught in the spotlight
The more you make, the more you get it right, right?
Nothing can stop you
No one can bring you down
Don't give a thought to tomorrow
You're the man right now
It doesn't matter what you say
Because they always find some meaning in it anyway
Make them feel like they're part of some big event
They'll be too busy cheering to wonder where your talent went
They really need you
They've got to have you
You're the only one who understands
Slender messiah, god with a song
Turned strung out wreck who stuck around too long
Tragic hero coming down hard
The joke's on you, you got played like a deck of cards
Paying the price of fame
Under the weight of the flames
Feel the backlash
Watch the tables turn
Now you need them
Feel the fire burn
All eyes turned up to the hero
Strung out self abusive circus freak
One thing that you might not know
There'll be another messiah right here next week
I think that's between Gerard, Frank, and James.
It maybe between those three people but we want to know what your feelings are about it.
I don't know the circumstances, so I have no opinion on it.
Why?
*comes downstairs from her room*
*spots the lyric chalked on the floor*
ouch, 11:25, that's a pretty harsh lyric. :(
hey there j., hi bc, hello sundry anons. how is everyone?
j., was that you running around hammering on doors before? i thought i heard a ruckus, but i was engrossed in my book. *oops*
Another next week, like the one we have lost 11:25?
I don't think so.
OPJ,
i'm just curious because you said that you thought Frank might be upset with Gerard.
Well, Anon, like everyone else here, I don't know anything about these guys for sure. We all conjecture about them and their actions/feelings/words. That's all it was.
Hey TJ, yeah, that was me, but I tried not to ruckus too much. Whatcha reading?
oh, still working my way through that series. :)
i got a little distracted by a manga series i picked up at the library last time, but those are like candy bars, so it didn't slow me down too much.
Do you guys still have Mr Pibb? Yes, I know this is an off the wall question.
Hiya TJ, what choo reading?
I just got home from the store, and I just spent 15 minutes chasing after my rabbit. I'm exhausted, and I'm gonna eat a bit before I head out again.
Goodnight 11:17, sweet dreams.
Hi to the anons who said hello to me. I'm well, but tired, thanks for asking.
11:05, I'm flattered, thank you, but honestly I don't like when someone thinks the so called "night crew" is better than anyone else. I don't like being labeled.
I just come here because it's more quiet. Less crazy anons, you know?
J, I hope the family situation will sort itself out soon. I'm glad you're well. Nope, no Killer encounters. He works days, I think. I never see him at night.
Chocolate is just being herself, running around jumping alot, she's a chocolate bundle of energy. Right now she's just calming down eating some carrots.
Original PunK J answered your question, 11.39.
What do you think about Gerard not going to any of the recent Leathermouth and Reggie shows? Could he have been too bizzy? You must have an opinion.
Goodnight 11.17
TJ, good deal. That's the McCaffrey series, isn't it, or am I wrong again? I'm really bad with SF.
Carrie, we do still have Mr Pibb, definitely NC has it. Um, why?
BC, that's a shame about Killer. Y'all have to coordinate your schedules better! And sweet little Chocolate--have you tried playing classical music for her? It seems to soothe Logan (and Raindrop).
carrie, my mom drinks mr. pibb regularly. we have some in the fridge, and a case in the garage.
is there a reason...?
hi bc! i'm still reading that fantasy series i was talking about last. i'm almost through book four, and three more to go!
it's the kate elliot series, j. takes place in a sortof alternate early medieval europe, with mathematics as sorcery and now! including time-travel!
i love this author. :)
i think there is clearly a riff going on between Gerard and Frank. what it is i have no idea. Eliza eluded to knowing some big news on Gerard in her blog from last week, and from what she wrote i don't think it's good news.
MI does not have it. :( Anywheres. And I was PMSing and wanted some and was denied.
So I was just trying to reassure myself of its continued existence.
I had a similar crisis last week, Carrie. We were at Wal-Mart in Pittsburgh buying some groceries to take to the hotel (we stayed an extra night b/c we were exhausted). When we were in the soft drink area, this sinister news was revealed to me:
THERE IS NO TAB AT THE WAL-MART IN PITTSBURGH.
I had to settle for Sam's Diet Cola. It was atrocious.
Fimble Star said...
Good afternoon EVERYONE
:)
lol at 11.15am, if you wish to believe any of your shouting, then go right a head.
"oh and for the 'bitter hags' reference, i actually said 'bitter bags' but by all means, you can think hags if you wish."
anonymous said...
from your blog
"After all, you only wanted to play with your tiddly-winks, not be stabbed by old bitter hags who want your winkies."
yup yup
fimble star did say "old bitter hags" before she changed the word to "bags". you weren't the only who saw the unchanged original post anon.
it exists, carrie. :)
my mom couldn't find it when they lived in montana, and so we had to be rum runners and bring her cases whenever we visited. if i had a car, i'd do the same for you.!
i seem to have excessive punctuation in my last comment. :/
TJ, excessive punctuation isn't always a bad thing. See, you'll have extra should you need it. ;)
Carrie, if I had any money, I'd ship you a case of the Pibb.
AP - Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to fight California's November ballot initiative that would overturn the state Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage.
TJ, that sounds interesting :)
As for my pathetic self, all I managed to purchase today was issue #17 of Buffy season eight. Heh.
Hi Carrie. I think there's some stores that still sell Mr.Pibb. I know some restaurants here have it.
J, I know. Not to mention that I have only seen him twice, but you know me. I never give up. I will find a way because I do think he's cute ^_^
excellent point, j.!
*tucks the full stop in her pocket*
sounds good bc! i've read a few of those, and they are usually pretty well-written.
wait. you are talking aboutt he comic book, right? not a dvd?
Cheers for Brad Pitt then. Fight the power!
11:25 liked it very much. did you write it or is it a song?
TJ, correct, it's the comic book ^_^
11:25 is Henry Rollins
Thank you for the reassurance. My computer kinda shit the bed there for awhile. And I'm thinking I'm asking for Mr Pibb for Christmas (my parents still live in my home state of VA)
well, that's what i thought, bc, and then all of a sudden i thought maybe i read your comment wrong. lol
i wish you success in your mr. pibb quest, carrie.
Oh! And I have Tab in my garage now, and it's all OP J's fault! I actually like the stuff, but why do the cashiers always laugh when you buy it?
That's okay TJ :)
I have never tasted Tab before. What does it taste like?
Anyone who wants to read about my failtacular Hula show I performed in tonight can read it here at my LJ. >_< I totally screwed up the easiest damn Hula I know and I am mad at my stupid self.
The rest of the day was the bomb and I am the proud owner of a fan that reads, in Japanese, "this is the fan of a floating woman."
I failed at Hula today but I ruled at being a Japanese poetry geek. ^_^
I spent way too much money at that store.
Well, I need to get some sleep. And in TWO days I will be with Solly, Princess and Fim! O_O I can hardly believe it!
Good night all!
it's a sweetish cola taste, but I'm sure many would say, it tastes like ass. :) I like it though, I like saccharine sweetness.
Sorry, had to go tend to the insulin pump; slight malfunction.
Carrie, never be ashamed of buying the Tab. The most common question I get is, "They still make that?" I'm thinking, 'Obviously, or else it wouldn't be in my cart.' And 'You work here, shouldn't you know?'
BC, it's not as sweet as Diet Coke, so it's good for those of us who think DC is TOO sweet. And yes, it's chock full of saccharine goodness.
L calls it my battery acid.
12.16, really? Henry Rollins? I didn't recognize it at first. Cool!
good night kapunua! that fan sounds neat!
Got to crawl off to bed guys, goodnight!
Night Carrie, sleep well.
Night k.
Thanks for the info Carrie.
good night carrie, sweet dreams. :)
Goodnight carrie, sweet dreams.
At first I thought when you guys mentioned saccharine, I thought you said sardines. Eek.
hello!
I have about 1/2 hr before I tutor again - sheesh where do the minutes go???
"Try Tab, the only soft drink sweetened with sardines!"
*coughnastycough*
I, for one, am glad that isn't so. :D
Hey Ergo! I banged on your door earlier, did you hear me?
YAYYYYYYYYYYY
I get the afternoon off!!!!
it's been a hectic week and the boy's not coming up, see it's the last week of term here and so everyone is gearing up for holidays and I have so much stuff to do!
(and he has a mowing sideline and he has jobs to do before HE goes away - so works out for us both)
and thanks J I am feeling a lot better, it's always a sobering experience
I'm glad, Ergo. I'm sure your holiday will help a lot with the stress and anxiety. Where is it you're going? I don't remember. And are DangerHand and Baby Girl excited?
Hiya Ergo. That's great news, I'm glad.
Lol J.
And I just saw a fox. Cool ^_^
"i think there is clearly a riff* going on between...."
IT'S RIFT!
*pleading*
please could you type it right?
It's nearly as annoying as people who say "I went hypo!" when they mean "hyper"
*though if it involved Ray Toro standing between them shredding on the guitar, can I haz a see?
hiya BC and TJ too
J we are going to Darwin, all of us, for a week
touring about national parks, fishing, hopefully going to see the jumping crocs
did you see when I linked a while back?t they leap up out of the water to get meat hung off poles beside the boat O_O
I didn't see your link, Ergo, but I seem to remember seeing the same thing on "The Crocodile Hunter". Steve could make those crocs do anything he wanted--sometimes.
Do you know I just remembered I never said this last week:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY WAY!
And Tuesday, the 16th, would've been my dad's 86th. I have a picture I'm going to post, probably at my blog, of him holding me when I was probably a few weeks old.
Darwin
kakadu Nat park
jumping croc - pics near bottom
and hi anons if any are about
0_o
oh I'll have a look J
hi ergo! sorry about the late greeting -- stoopid dial-up dropped me. *sigh*
i bet you're going to have so much fun on your vacation! you probably won't miss us at all. *pout*
you saw a fox! how cool!! they are so pretty, but bad on chickens
I got home at about 8:45 last night and by our letterbox was a BUNNY!!!
they are wild here but I've never seen one right by our place, it was a widdle bunny wabbit too
J, aw. I'm gonna take a look at that pic.
Happy early birthday to your dad *hugs*
Ergo: aww, a widdle bunny. They're so cute!
Foxes are cool to see for sure. The first time I seen one was when I was washing the dishes one winter, and saw it running across my backyard. Second time was then I saw two of them picking on my garbage.
Apparently, we also have coyotes, but I'm disappointed that I haven't seen one yet :/
Not sure when I'll get the pic up, guys, but keep checking.
Ergo, a bunny!! How great! What did it look like?
There you are, TJ, wondered where you'd gotten to.
oh of course I'll miss you!!!
I'm sure I'll keep thinking "oh TJ would like this" or "BC won't believe this" etc etc
it was a little average grey one, they are actually a huge pest but cute
brb
I meant to say, late birthday, not early. Darn.
We'll miss you too Ergo :(
I hope you have a great holiday
It's ok, BC, I knew what you meant. :) Thanks for the sentiment, it was sweet.
ergo, that's just how it is for me, too. i'm always seeing stuff that i want to tell you guys about. :)
i'm still here j., in spirit even if not in connectivity. lol
you know I want to play with my camera and I cannot for the life of me find one interesting bug or beetle to photograph :/
You're welcome J. I'm ready to go back home.
Brb
they're hiding from you, ergo.
Bedtime for me, Nature Scouts. I had a nice time tonight, thanks to you and some nice anons.
Goodnight Ergo, BC, TJ, Nice Anons, Elena if you come by with a goodnight to Mayo, and whoever else comes home late.
Mayo, we're both here, and we're both hoping you'll do the right thing. L especially. Don't let her down, ok?
Goodnight everyone, rest well.
What do you mean "do the right thing" J?
good night j. sweet dreams, and sweet dreams for l. too. :)
I am just uploading some I took
the crawlies I trimmed to get close
the images are lovely and clear
insect
flowers
paper wasp
green ant
last nights moon
SS baby,
You know.
I love you.
My heart to yours, always.
Goodnight.
Goodnight J, sweet dreams
goodnight J sweet dreams (hope the family stuff works out)
love to L too
Those are some cool pictures Ergo :)
I like the moon and green ant one
ergo, those are great pics! when the first one came up, i actually went "whoa" and leaned back from the screen! lol
you always take lovely pics, but the quality is amazing. what camera did you get, if you don't mind me asking?
(and btw, i yoinked the moon pic...i think it might make a nice icon. i'm a skoosh addicted to icons....)
oh I'd be honoured if you used it TJ :)
thanks too BC
the camera is a canon powershot sx100is
it's a 8 MP and 10x optical zoom
it actually wasn't that expensive, mainly as it is a bit bigger and takes AA batteries, which I prefer as you can buy them and have spares, I know so many people who have gone to take pics and had no battery power
I looked at a similar panasonic which was a rechargable one and it had a couple of extra features but it was almost 2/3 the price again.
I really was after a higher pixel and better zoom
we already have a canon lower model and it's been good, it'll be left at the shed to take pics of the jobs we do.
this is the camera
Mayo
It’s one of those nights that I really wish I could say what’s in my heart. I wish I could talk about what’s going on but I just can’t. I can say that there is a problem that has surfaced concerning my mom and I’m scared. Today I heard some disturbing things from several people and I sit here and think “why didn’t I know?” I guess part of it is because my mom always tries not to worry me. Still I see her every morning and I wonder why I didn’t see what’s going on. Am I that oblivious? Maybe I just didn’t want to see the problem. Shit, I can’t say anything else or I’ll start to get weepy and I need to keep my fucking head on straight. I need to deal with things no matter how difficult.
Okay Mayo, I know tomorrows task. It is one I will do and I hope you find the time to do it also. Write a letter to your mom. Of course I’m assuming your mother is still alive but even if she isn’t believe me she’ll still know. In this letter tell her how you feel about her. Let her know. So many things we never say that we should. We just take for granted that people we are close to know our true feelings but even if that’s true seeing the words can touch their heart. My mom knows how much I love her but I’m realizing how rarely I say it. I realize how rarely I write it. I know how much it would mean to me to have my girls write me a letter so why the hell haven’t I written one to my mom? Shit, I just feel like I’ve somehow failed her. I need to right this and I need to do it soon. Tomorrow morning I’m getting up extra early so I have more time to spend with her. I just need more time.
Night Mayo
Elena (Don’t let another minute slip away)
good night elena. i'm so sorry to hear there's worrisome news about your mom. don't tell her i'm sending her energy, but i am (and for you, too.) *hugs*
ergo, thanks for the camera info! i have a hand-me-down right now, and it does the job but just that. it takes those stupid batteries that are hard to find and expensive to boot. eventually i'll have space in the budget for something of my own, maybe i'll get one like yours! :)
Elena whatever has happened I'm sure you have been a lovely daughter,just spending each morning with her is so much more than many many many people are able, or inclined to do.I think things sometimes happen slowly and we don't realise, someone outside can see things we may miss,or it was hidden, it's not failing though, don't ever think that.
And if you have concerns now then taking action as you are is the best thing.You've supported her through a lot and I know she knows how much you care.
-and you aren't alone, same sort of thing has happened in my family, some things are easily missed when you are close in
if you want to talk catch me, I am a good listener ♥
Ergo
Do you have any water features around your property?
A picture of those would be nice.
TJ I went to 4 stores and spent nearly a day, there are so many to choose from!
I actually don't like the really little ones, they feel too tiny to me sort of,like id' lose it or break it,(apparently guys can find them hard to use too, tiny buttons vs bigger hands) plus a lot of them are no better than a phone these days.
Mine was actually at the lower end of the price scale, apparently as soon as it's a chargeable battery the price goes up, but I am hopeless at remembering to charge things, I have a car charger for my phone as I always get in and it's flat
see, that's what i think i'd like about it too -- i like simple technology, i don't like a lot of specialty attachments, etc. even in my kitchen (when i had one!) i had a minimum of gadgets. the fact that your camera uses ordinary batteries is very appealing.
we have a dam anon but it's not really full right now, if we go for a walk to the creek I'll take a pic there for you :)
Wait until you see the places around Darwin though, they are just breathtaking, (if you like nature) I will try and get a heap of good pics to show everyone how beautiful it is
Elena, I'm sending you positive thoughts and wishes. I hope it's nothing serious, but even so, I wish for the best. Goodnight.
I think I'm gonna call it a night. Goodnight Tj and Ergo, sweet dreams. Ergo, have a wonderful and safe trip and holiday. You'll be missed.
Sugarplum: This might be a bit silly, but I went your blog just now, looking at the profile page where you have your favorite bands listed. I was really happy to see that machine head was listed there. I know it's dorky, but I had a smile on my face.
I'm planning on posting one of their videos on my blog soon because I want to show off my love for those bands and for music.
I hope one day we can go to a show together. That would be so cool. I hope your day is well. I came home late tonight and I'm so tired, so I'll check out your video links tomorrow as soon as I get up :)
Goodnight and super sweet dreams sugarplum *blows kisses*
Miranth: I miss you. I hope you and your niece are well.
That's all folks. Night everyone.
good night bc, sweet dreams. :)
ubirr rock in kakadu
if you look at the pic I've been there years ago and there is a rock just up fromt eh people that you can get under (you have to lie down)there is a little tree and 2 brown grass bushes by it, well under it, it's covered in aboriginal fish art like this
I couldn't believe it!
I was blown away completely, it's like you're back in time they are so perfect still
oh pardon my gushing too but it's so lovely up there, can't wait!
(though I am nervous about the flights and leaving my cats in the cattery and all but that is normal for any trip)
Is that near the desert? I'm not too good with Australian geography.
When you're there, and if you are near water, can I suggest a picture of a waterfall or the moon reflected over water. Or even the sun setting over water. That would be simply beautiful.
oh I found some from lower down the same rock outcrop
here
they are Barramundi, the fish that is, it's a common fish up there, very popular to eat, quite a challenge to catch
people may recall me catching one for the first time earlier this year.It's like a fishing rite of passage
oh I will anon ! :)
Darwin is right up the top of australia, (not the really pointy bit of the shape the middle top bit)
it's by the ocean and you can actually get ocean sunsets (we don't here on the east coast)
and there are lots of wetlands, billabongs, waterfalls and rivers.
if you ever saw Crocodile Dundee it was filmed up there, there is a bit when a croc grabs the woman's water bottle at a billabong, and I've swum there - it actually has no crocs, and I met the buffalo from the movie too
i love the rock art, ergo.
damn I'm talking a lot aren't I?
I'll stop now
*blush*
tip to remember: don't get me started on australia! lol
goodnight BC sweet dreams
Ocean sunsets are stunning!
Ergo, the place you are describing sounds absolutely fascinating.
I'm sure your children will cherish the experience too :)
I like you talking about Australia.
It broadens our minds :)
ergo, it's cool to see how excited you are for your trip. :)
i've been having fun, but i have to go to bed now. now or never! lol i don't know what that means.
have a good night tonight, ergo, and good night to you too anon.
sweet dreams!
thanks anon I'm glad you like it.
I love finding out about the US and UK too
people live in such different types of places over there
I think I read that Kakadu national park was the size of New Jersey or something, people overseas can't comprehend how big australia is and I can't comprehend the cities and things over there
goodnight TJ sweet dreams and have a good thursday
♥
mayo,
today was simply a beautiful day. it was like a perfect midsummer day from seattle -- the sun was warm and friendly, the sky clear, and a breeze bringing all the sweet scents of the day to you.
i wandered around a little out in it, but then i settled down under the open window in the guest room to read. the air smelled like sun and field and laying there in it was like drinking a potion. by the end of the day, my skin smelled like the air, like i had bathed in the breeze and sun and grasses.
days like today are gifts meant to be unwrapped at once and enjoyed, you know this.
wishing you many of them, mayo. sweet dreams, my friend.
I suppose we have our good and bad points like everywhere else.
Australia kinda reminds me of a big frontier. I'm looking forward to pictures on your return :)
Have a goodnight ergo, and you too toujours ^_^
anon everywhere does, we have our fair share of venomous bitey snappy kill you creatures (well probably way over our share really! lol)
and that's just the animal world, humans are another case again!
I'll make sure I get a lovely sunset or something just for you anon.
have a good night and sweet dreams
Good morning/afternoon/night SS, Mayo, Ergo, BC, Elena, J, Amy, TJ; various anons, watchers and lurkers; FASC, Possum, Lewis, Kass, Sdock, Smoke; all wittle bunny wabbits and paper wasps (umm...I could have done with out looking at that one Ergo *wink*) in the land o’blogbelieve!
How are you all today? I hope you all had a good night’s sleep and woke up happy and refreshed!
Amy: How are you, love? Do you and Mr. Amy have any special plans for the weekend? Are the two of you going to any shows, festivals, fairs, weddings? Perhaps seeing a movie and killing a couple of bottles of wine or sake? Pssst: How’s that fur problem of Lear’s?
BC/Sweetcheeks: You’re welcome, again! You made me smile when you said seeing Machine Head on my profile made you smile. That is not dorky at all, my friend! Thank you! I wish I could have made it to Chicago (and Kansas, Tennessee and the Carolinas) this summer; but, it was a crazy summer. Well, I have all fall, winter and spring to get that traveling in. Next summer too ~ I hope!
I miss Miranth too!
M: Great to see you! I hope all those other commitments allow you some good ol’ R&R time. Some fun time too! Take care, M!
Ergo: Do you have any exciting plans for the weekend or are you planning some rest and relaxation before your vacation adventure? The pictures you posted were beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing them with us. I want to go to Australia more than ever now! Don’t forget to take hundreds of pictures (for us) on your vacation. Just don’t get too close to those jumping crocs, for goodness sake! Oh....a closeup shot of a kangaroo or a wallaby would be lovely, though. They don’t have to wear the uniforms I made for them! ;)
“Awww” for the wittle bunny wabbit! I wuv bunnies. I have one, ya know.
Miss Bingles is her name - O!
*last sentence should be sung to the tune of BINGO*
*smoooooooooooch*
J: It’s so good to see you back!!!! I’ve missed, Juicey (and L and Sparkle too). I’m sorry to read you’re having such a rough time again. :(
I hope things start looking up ~ way up (and much brighter too) ~ soon. Do you (L, Sparkle, Monty and Phil) have any weekend fun planned? The answer had better be a big, enthusiastic YES, young lady (and sheep and marsupials too) *huge hug for you on your dad’s birthday* I know you still miss yours too.
Elena: I’m sorry to hear you’re going through more trials as well. I hope things with your mom get better (somehow). If they can’t get better, I know you have the courage, strength and faith to accept whatever is coming. I’m not saying it will be easy; but, you do have what you need. If you need more, you can take some of mine!
TJ: How are things going with you? Have you had any luck finding employment and a place to live back in Seattle? Keep on truckin’ TJ!
MissT: Whatcha been doing? Did you get that picture for me yet? ;)
*huge snogs*
Anima: Are you still riding that Night Train or did you pick up that pipe again? ;)
For your pondering consideration today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
Anonymous
and:
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
Dolly Parton < she rocks!
And, finally:
"For after all, the best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain."
Henry Wadworth Longfellow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rain or shine ~ perfect or imperfect, enjoy the day, everyone!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
PS: Ergo ~ your moon shot looked alot like my IKE moon! I almost have all the videos uploaded. I shall be back with an EASY ACCESS link soon!
Where are you Mayo?
Do you not care about your Lovelies anymore?
Have you nothing more to say to them?
Have you not noted how few still feel welcome to come here?
Have you no mind for them?
How much longer are you going to lie and wallow?
Do you never want to be happy? Truly?
Do you not care that others are miserable too?
Will you say nothing to comfort them?
To comfort them that you are still listening?
That you still want to try to make your own life better?
That you hope theirs will be as well?
You are so far away. What is the point. Give us back some of that faith, please.
I woke up with the giggles this morning. Well, actually I woke up kinda pissed off but then I read something and it made me LOL.
So, morning errbody!
Morning Mayo! Ummm, I'm not gonna ask anything of you today. Just do what you wanna. That's it.
Morning SS! Hope all is well, dude!
Everytime I type that I think of this children's book that we used to have and it used to say, "All is well that ends well." Or maybe that was the title. I always wanted to say, "Well, duh. Of course it's well if it ends well."
Nevermind. Miss you!
Have a great day, BlogBelieve!
Sdock said:
"I'm not gonna ask anything of you today."
Was that a quip against Elena's Good Night Suggestions to Mayo or 5:50AM in general? What is with this place lately? Where has all the heart gone? You people scare me sometimes...
Well, okay. I'm just gonna put this out there.
Re Mayo:
Why are people asking him to do the right thing or to be some kind of Dr. Phil for all of us? WTF is the right thing? What's the dude supposed to do?
Ah well, anyhoo.
Mayo, eff it. You know I'll totally share my sweet-tarts with you regardless, right? ♥ ^_~
Byeeeeeeee!!!!!
Ummm, actually, Sdock didn't say that. My name is Smoke. See up thar?
^_^
And no, I didn't even read Elena's goodnight to Mayo.
Sorry.
I meant "Smoke" of course. Hard to tell you two apart sometimes. And that is not a quip. Just a sister thing I guess.
Snap!
^_~
It's cool. But no, I don't take cheap shots at other people on here like that. I didn't read Elena's goodnight and even if I had, I wouldn't do that.
I'm not that type of person. Loud maybe but not that kind of beeeyotttch.
I don't know what the 'right thing' is Smoke, but I can sure feel that things are off here. Mayo seems very distant. He barely acknowledged the blog aniversary. His heart just doesn't seem in it anymore. And the regs (and anons) seem to be attacking each other every chance they get now. It's just a shame that's all. I thought this place meant more, to everyone. I wasn't trying to start anything. Just thinking out loud...
And with that, I'm outta here!
Have a nice day, Anon.
Oh, well. Okay. I'm just being honest when I say that I don't know what the right thing is. This place was never intended to be what it is or what it was and that's hardly his fault.
Anyways, have a nice day.
Laterz.
Thank you for explaining Smoke. I am sorry if I offended you. I am just nervous of every comment I read lately... I hope you have a good day.
Goodbye.
Mornin' BlogBelieve!
Try getting woke up by Kelly Clarkson for the 2nd fuckin day in a row and see how it makes you feel. Homicidal, again, comes to mind. I just want to scream at her to get off the sidewalk and play in traffic!!!
Now, for some reason, I'm singing Johnny and June..."Time's a Wastin'" which makes me think there is someone trying to tell me something and that hardly gives me right to judge Kelly Clarkson, right?
Yeah, I know.
Have a great Thursday!
Original Punk J said...
SS baby,
You know.
I love you.
My heart to yours, always.
Goodnight.
September 18, 2008 2:07 AM
What exactly does SS know?
And you talk about the Porchies keeping secrets. Hypocrite.
Mayo,
For YOU, a little Rob Zombie!
Yeah, I am the astro-creep,
A demolition style hell american freak - yeah
I am the crawling dead,
A phantom in a box, shadow in your head - say
Acid suicide - freedom of the blast,
Read the fucker lies - yeah
Scratch off the broken skin,
Tear into my heart,
Make me do it again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
Yeah, I am the jigsaw man
I turn the world around with a skeleton hand - say
I am electric head,
A cannibal core,
A television said - yeah
Do not victimize,
Read the motherfucker-psychoholic lies - yeah
Into a psychic war,
I tear my soul apart and I eat it some more
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
Yeah, I am the ripper man,
A locomotion mind,
Love american style -yeah
I am the nexus one,
I want more life,
Fucker I aint done - yeah
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
More human than human
Have a great day, dude! I can't ask of you anything that I don't answer to myself. Ah ha, see there is the tricky part, it's all in the answers. I don't have about dick.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. But the who, the when, the what the fuck, the where, the how, the why?
*we interrupt your regularly scheduled morning comments for an IKE video progress update*
One more left to upload and process, Ergo!
Hi to everyone who came in!
And I fail, but when I can, I will...
xoxo cupcake
Yes, I'm back to insubstantial quotes from songs because it's easier!
But I did do such a long entry on my blog!
I hope everyone here is well. As always, Mayo,SS, I wont warble on, but I care for you both very much.
xoxo cupcake
*happy dance*
I got 'er done, Ergo!
For Ergo, her daughter and anyone else who would like to see that aforementioned Hurricane Ike moon and read/see various other tales and tails:
Easy access link to my blog
where I have provided easy access links to my youtube videos.
Does anyone know why blogger is no longer allowing me to upload videos directly? Is it just me having that problem?
Hmmmm......
Cupcake!!!!! Are you okay, Sprinkles? I've missed you!
HI wendy
*smooooooooooch*
oh I will have a look with little miss tomorrow!
and I meant to say before, re the "right thing" I thought it was about stopping the anon comments, as they seem to always cause the trouble or help precipitate it
I know there are some really nice anons but a lot of people wonder if without the option a lot of the unpleasantness would stop
HI cupcake
hope you're well sweetie
*off to visit Cupcake at her place before going in search of the sandman*
*blows kisses*
Ergo!!!!!!
*smoooooooooch back*
I'm going visit Cupcake; but, I hope to catch you later tonight!
Sweet dreams, honeybunch!
Wendy, Ergo *hugs*
You ladies are beautiful to behold when in your element. Ha... ok, that sounded weird. What I mean is it's nice to just watch you all... ok, still sounding creepy.
Bah! you get it! It's good to see you.
*hugs* cupcake
I miss having you chat every now and then
take care
wendy it's nearly my bedtime but I'll be about for a bit (ghost whisperer is on)
I do have a realxing weekend planned, well packing etc but nothing too stressful (I hope)
It's my goal to come back here more Ergo. I'm working up to it.
But I love this place.
Have a good night, ok hun?
XX
you to sweetie!:)
sweet dreams for when you pop to bed!
Well it's time for me to go to bed.
I have a big weekend ahead of me.
Lets all cross our fingers.
Mayo, SS, Always.
xoxo cupcake
From the porch, courtesy of Solly and Mr. Rob Zombie. ^_^
For my friends:
The Devil's Rejects
I am the bad one,
Distant and cruel one,
I am the dream that,
Keeps you running down,
With distraction,
Violent reaction,
Scars of my actions,
Watch me running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects
Yeah, I am the brains,
Some say insane,
Blood is the rain,
That's what life's about,
In the great wide,
Head split and tongue tied,
Watch the sun die,
When you're running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
Yeah I am the knuckle,
Bow down and buckle,
Hold your breath,
Your world is running down,
Live for the family,
Die with the family,
All is the family,
My gun is running out,
Hell doesn't want them.
Hell doesn't need them.
Hell doesn't love them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
This world rejects them.
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects
Yes, I'm a little twisted like that. But you guys already knew that.
Mayo
thought I'd share a song tonight, I haven't really posted lyrics as a goodnight but I just thought it'd be nice to give a song that is one of my favourites, by one of my favourite artists
The last that ever she saw him
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
He passed on worried and warning
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last saturday night
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight
And she couldn't find how to push through
The trees that whisper in the evening
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
Four am in the morning
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
I watched your vision forming
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Star was light in a silvery night
Far away on the other side
Will you come to talk to me this night
But she couldn't find how to push through
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
I stay
I pray
I see you in heaven far away
Far away on the other side.
Caught in the middle of a hundred and five
The night was heavy but the air was alive
But she couldn't find how to push through
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Far away on the other side.
Mike Oldfield, phenomenally talented guy. If you've never heard him check him out, most well known for Tubular Bells but has so many other great compositions
so wishing you hope, health, pleasure and love
much love EP xx
SS take the time to smell the roses, and the carnations, and gardenias, jasmine etc etc
sending you flowers, flora a foliage lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve see you in my morning
♥xx♥
goodnight wendy, enjoy thursday♥
Hi to PP sdock smoke miranth kass fasc Ph PJ K mustard RW and everyone else I miss when I have to go to work
Hi everyone! Hi Mayo, hi S(S)S!
It's a beautiful day. We are all alive, we all have fresh water, we are all well fed and have shelter. There's someone who loves us! And we found this blog where we were able to meet friends.
We are priveledged enough to lie awake at night and wallow in our own issues and "what-ifs" and then write about them on the internet. I had oen of those "what-if" nights: "What if this person dies, what if that person dies?" I hate those. Why do I waste my time? And I realize, I am priviledged to have them.
Later taters!
Also, there are hawks circling my balcony. O_O
Smoke said...
And no, I didn't even read Elena's goodnight to Mayo.
Sorry.
September 18, 2008 6:25 AM
This more saddening to me than any of the sniping. Didn't you all used to read everyone else's comments?
OPJ is not telling Mayo to do the right thing for the people on this blog. she's talking about Gerard and Frank. she wants Gerard(Mayo) to make things right with Frank(SS).
I want Gerard to make things right with Frank.
I think your deduction is incorrect anon.
♥♥
good morning
♥♥
This more saddening to me than any of the sniping. Didn't you all used to read everyone else's comments?
in all fairness anon that comment by princess was made at 6.25am and she had to get ready for work. maybe she was going to catch up on the comments when she had more time. people have a real life to lead with associated responsibilities. i am not trying to pick a fight just pointing that out.
and hello blogbelieve!! i see not much has changed in my absence.
hope everyone is doing good and well? i am sorry i have not caught up!
hi there mayo, did you miss me?! hey it's friday again!! have a good one mayo.
SS you too!
just a quick in and out in true fasc style!
love to you all!
New
Page
Opj could not be anymore obvious unless se had a neon sign saying that Frank and Gerard fucked in Germany and Frank was going to leave Jamia since he cheated on her.....until Gerard told him I don't love you. That is what she meant by "you should of thought of that before Germany". She didn't mean it about Eliza. She hated Eliza like she hates Jamia. Besides even I'd she DID mean it about Eliza she is still saying Mayo is Gerard. She must think every one here is a real asshole if she thinks we can't figure this out. She can believe whatever she wants but don't act like we're all assholes when we call you on it. I admire Frank and Jamia and the thing she says about Frank (that he is a cheater on Jamia), and the way she hates Jamia offends me.
your vile attacks and hatred for opj offends me
♥♥good morning♥♥
:)
♥
*
*
:*
Then maybe the OPS should stop spreading shit about Frank and Jamia. I can't hate someone I don't even know in real life but she really does treat others like shit, like they are stupid. Don't make up shit about Frank, spread your opinions about Jamia and then bring it up on this blog and pretend people are too stupid to know what you're talking about. And then lie and call us names for being right.
I simply think that spreading the rumour that Frank cheated on Jamia and that Jamia is some kind of bitch is so bad for Frank and Jamia. Then th OPs treat us like assholes when we remember the shit they spread about them last year.
if you have proof of the OPs EVER saying anything bad about jamia then show it. Ive never seen her say anything bad.
♥♥
:)
♥♥
The irony is that the OPS are probably right. If anyone started rumors abotu F&G than it was F&G themselves. All the OPS did was believe it and then tell other's of their opinions. And for all you know Jamia isn't as nice as people say she is either.
Though I agree that OPS should be more careful what they say on the blog about knowing Mayo's secret and then basically calling Mayo Gerard when they said 'you should have thought of that before Germany', the truth is they are probably right. And if they realy do Mayo's secret and he is Gerard and he really did fuck Frank in Grmany and Jamia is getting in the way of their love, then they are right again and he SHOULD have thought of that before he fucked Frank.
But they should just be more careful about saying it on the blog if they don't want to be called on it. That I agree with.
And I also think that their list of things they want to do to Frank on his birthday (especially the ass fucking part uggggg) was out of line and if people agree with that then they should stop reposting it.
No one keeps posts as proof of the things they spread around but I'm sure there are some emails still out there because they told ALOT of people.
O yes and I agree with that, too. The OP's "fuck Frank in the ass on his birthday' list was over the top. Recent concert quotes show that Frank doesn't like that level of intimate fan-girling AND no one should ever repost that list of theirs again. It's far too embarassing for everyone involved.
"I know you feel the same way...don't deny it. I know you do....say it...just say it already..."
"I don't."
I'm sorry.
Hello Anonymai (plural anons).
Interesting conversation today.
I hope all are well in Blogbelieve.
I'm sorry but the OP_S make it clear that they know Mayo's secret, he is Gerard and SS is Frank. They posted their sexual birthday list IN HOPES that Frank would see it. What kind of woman says that shit to another woman's man hoping that he will like it? If it was a man saying to a woman 'I want to tie you down, fuck your ass and you to eat through the crotch of me jeans on your birthday' then he would probably get arrested. Or the woman's man would beat the shit out of the man saying it. I wish Jamia would shut those two down. If I was Jamia I wouldn't bother though. I would laugh in their faces because I was the one who got Frank and they were just on the internet writing porn to him.
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