It was written from another’s perspective. A recollection of a conversation turned first person. Expensive, anti-climactic words ringing in my ears with an unrelenting need to, once again, find voice. In reverse, they became a bit of guilt unfurled to reveal how my selfish needs superseded best interest. Recall that I held on too long, to that room, to that moment.
“Just say it, say it already”
“I don’t.”
As painful as it may have been to hear it rephrased in that manner, I never meant to be cruel. And now, when the melody of the moment presents itself, I am reminded to never again make that mistake. Although ironically, it was only after repeated cost that it became my lesson. I hope it has become yours, as well.
p.s. volumes like breadcrumbs lead back.
Friday, September 12, 2008
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«Oldest ‹Older 2201 – 2400 of 5657 Newer› Newest»*whispers "I am Spartacus"*
One can hope, Amy. One CAN hope!
;P
Wendy, he's shedding. Very embarassed because he's missing giant patches of fur.
I now have a Lion Fur bedcover.
*coughs a few times*
*waves to Fimmy & James*
What ya'll doin?
Hi smokie!! Hiya sugarplum!! *smothers with sloppy kisses*
Gah? I can't believe you get to see Nightwish!! I have to wait until next year to see them, I think :(
Well, Wendy, just remember, not all at once.
-A
*hugh inhale*
THIS
IS
SPARRRRRRRTAAAAAAA!
:/
*Huge, what the fuck?
*hugh inhale*
Did that chafe at all?
Oh no! Poor Lear. :(
Perhaps he should join the hairclub for lions! I hear it really helps balding lions with thier self esteem.
Afterall, how will he capture the heart of the lioness of his dreams without a fluffy, full mane?
*waves to James, Spartacus, Kirk, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Trent Reznor and Philip Anselmo*
Where did my sweetcheeks go?
Sugarplum, did I tell you that it's so good to see you here for more than five minutes?
It's great!!!! I tend to try to catch up with you whenever you're here (haha, yeah, that sounds weirds lol)
How are you doing?
Hiya BC!
James,
I ♥ u. I'm in da MOOD 4 YOU, James!
I don't like people named Hugh.
Hugh Grant
Hugh Heffner
Hugh Jackman...
Oh wait. Hugh Laurie. Well, there's always an exception to every rule.
OMG, I rule.
2222
I know, right? Crazy.
Amyranth said...
Well, Wendy, just remember, not all at once.
-A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O_O
Even I cannot do that Amy! We must pace ourselves and remember to drink plenty of fluids.
Oh...ummm.....
Not THOSE fluids!
There's my sweetcheeks! I'm good, BC. How are you?
Hi Mustard!
I ♥ Hugh Laurie.
I raped her metaphorically by having a penis.
OMG, I ♥ him like whoah. :)
I rule over the entire all whole everything of BlogBelieve.
Um, Jack Nicholson creeps me out.
But, *jack inhale* doesn't really work.
*hugh inhale* doesn't really work either, but.
Nevermind.
I liked his line about sarcasm. That made me guffaw a bit.
Bleeding Chaos said...
Sugarplum, did I tell you that it's so good to see you here for more than five minutes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's great to chat with you again too, sweetcheeks. I haven't read your last e-mail. I'm sorry. I can't get into that account right now, for some strange reason.
So, what did you say? ;)
You do, Smaw Poese.
*bows down to the Smaw Poese*
Is there anyone who doesn't ♥ Hugh Laurie?
I don't think it's possible.
I don't think so either, Anon.
I wish so badly that I had saved that Smaw Poese conversation.
It ruled harder than Sdock's and my rulage combined then squared.
BC: That wave to Philip was done for you! ;)
I ♥ Hugh Laurie, Jack White, James Dewees, and Pretty Purple Unicorns!
I preferred Hugh Laurie in Blackadder.
-A
Mustard,
Was that another math reference? Two snaps and a twist for you!*
*that equals 3
I heart Hugh Laurie too. I must confess, I do heart LOST and CSI (the original) more than HOUSE. I suppose it's a matter of personal taste in entertainment.
Sdock,
My math skillz have increased exponentially, don'tcha know?
Like how much exponentially?
Like P to the 4th Power?
Amy: I forgot to ask if you needed some hairball remedy. (With that new lion fur blanket and all)
How's the mister?
peeks in before going to bed and sees... and sees.... Wendy! If you are still around Big hugs for you!
*leaves a plate of strawberries and choco whipped cream*
Have fun with Nightwish!
That's great to hear sugarplum. I'm glad you're well. I'm okay, I guess.
Uh, the new email I sent you, well, it's really long so I can't remember everything I wrote, except that it mentions the tiara(thank you!) that weird impulse to make out with Ville from PB, school, the job, let's see what else? How old that drummer is(the picture I posted a few weeks ago. He's um, actully 32. Doesn't look like it though)
And some great advice I got about Killer. I think that's about it ^_^
About school though, I won't be applying until at least next spring. I'm not really sure what I want to do now. It's been kinda hard making decisions.
I liked Hugh Laurie as the long-suffering Mr. Palmer in Sense and Sensibility. Small part, but he played it magnificently.
Although, I was quite distracted by Alan Rickman as Colonel Brandon. *sigh*
BI!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've missed you! And, I have missed my fresh berries and chocolate whipped cream. Thanks BI!
*huge hugs and kisses for you*
Have a good night and sweet dreams!
Like, P to the fourth power squared, then cube rooted, then raised to the fifth power.
I loved Hugh Grant in Sense & Sensibility, one of my fave chick flicks.
AIM sucks ass shit tonight! GAH!
*waves* to Amy,MIA, Smoke and everybody
I think I'll be fine without the hairball remedy for now. Mister's good. His mom and I talked about wedding stuff while she was here, and he opened up a bit about what he'd want, which I'm happy about.
So, overall, everyone on my end is good. Did you get power back, or are you still gassing yourself?
Anonymous said...
something fucked up is with the Porchies and the PPU thing. Why do they make such a big deal out of if he comes back or not. That whole shitty group is on to something and they are not telling the ones they only pretend to like. Yes pretend.
September 16, 2008 8:00 PM
Awwww, I'm sorry you think there's some kind of sekrut konspirassy going on with the unicorn, Anon.
Mustard has sekret tutoring sessions with PPU because she's not very mathy and she needs help with sentence structuring but that's about it.
O_o
Damn, it's not a sekrut if I just told it, is it?
Ooops.
Damn!
I knew there was something I forgot to consult PPU about today.
>_<
Hallo BI!
a little something for BC
since she has a Poisonblack craving.
;)
SOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi BC. loves Hugh Laurie too. Did you know he plays the piano and guitar? He does.
Aw thanks sugarplum! :)
Phil rules, but I wish he didn't try to look so badass in pictures.
If I had a time travel machine, I would choose to attend the very very first Pantera concert. That would be kinda awesome.
Hi B! Good to see you :)
We have more seeeecret conspiracies? OH GOODIE!!!!
Who is rendezvousing with whom now? When and where too? Oh, and most importantly, is there a video (to be used for evidence, only) to upload to youtube?
Well, then they wouldn't be secret, Wendy.
See, I can't have any secrets because I tell them all.
Sorry, MIB. ^_~
Muwahaha.
Dudes,
AIM is not safe. Someone just tried Chat-Jack me! That shit is fucked up!
Thank youz sugarplumz. Your video presents are always the best(Seriously, they are. For realz)
I'll save the link for when I'm logged in to my computer :)
Chat-Jack.
OMG.
Fimble,
I see you. What you doin?
*winks*
Wait a minute? Was that a Pantera video, sweetcheeks? That should have been Poisonblack's "A Dead Heavy Day" ~ semi acoustic too!
Did I screw up again?
:/
Chat-jacked is the worst. They threw me out of the chat, took my chat, and let me stranded on the side of the AOL fucked up superhighway.
I was lost as a teeny weeny bitty in big tall weeds.
*writes memo to self reminding self "never tell a seeecret to Smoke"*
Anyway, I think I gotta go. Another night of getting nothing done. :p
Goodnight Lovelies, SS and Mayo!!
*refolds the blanket neatly and put it back on the couch.*
Hey guys! I am not caught up and never will be, so. But a few things I wanna say.
To anyone who thinks that I was playing the "anonymous game" two things. One: I say what I need to say signed in. Which is precisely why some anons dislike me.
Two: I challenge anyone here to take a toddler around the Magic Kingdom and find time to even think about this place much less post at it.
Oh, there is a third thing: Bite me. I'm sick of your stupid dramas. Leave me out of it. I know that your jollies include making up some list of enemies that I have but trust me, I am not important enough for enemies. Just a few of you dummies who want to stir the pot.
Okay, i fib a bit because I din't exactly not think of anyone here. I thought of Solly, Princess and Fim while going around today and trying to figure out all the things we are going to do! :D
Anyway, today was great and while I was walking around and sitting on my lanai, I was thinking and I have plenty of thinks to write about later. :D
Also, I missed the season premier of House. :(
Also, I missed the season premier of House. :(
Bleeding Chaos said...
Thank youz sugarplumz. Your video presents are always the best(Seriously, they are. For realz)
I'll save the link for when I'm logged in to my computer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ohhh.....I got you now, sweetcheeks. You were talking about the 'wave' when you mentioned Philip.
You're welcome for the videos. I'm glad you enjoy them!
JULES!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you!
Can't wait until Friday! ^_^
Night Mayo!
Night SS!
Night BlogBelieve!
XOXO
Sweet dreams!
Jules!
Yayness!
Wendy, nope. It's poisonblack all right. Don't you worry :)
:(
You're leaving already, Amy? Think about that hair club for lions! ;)
Good night and sweet dreams to you and Lear!
*blows night night kisses*
Oh, one more thing before I go into the shower. Funny story! On my way to the ladies' room at dinner, I passed by a glass door and I thought it was a mirror, and when I didn't see my reflection I had a moment of panic and unreality. This prevented me from looking where I was going.
So I go into the bathroom and am immediately OUTRAGED that there are a bunch of men in the ladies' room staring back at me. They were all just standing there staring at me.
My brain went, "processing...processing...processing... OH!"
And I blurted out "OHMYGODIAMSOSORRY!" and ran out. As soon as the door closed I heard them all crack up laughing. Good times, people!
Good night, Solly and Princess! I am going in the shower, then I will come back on and spill some guts. :D See you sooN!
Good night, Solly and Princess! I am going in the shower, then I will come back on and spill some guts. :D See you sooN!
Kapunua said...
Also, I missed the season premier of House. :(
September 16, 2008 10:15 PM
Tomorrow go here http://www.fancast.com/full_episodes or fox.com and they will have the episode up for you to watch.
Bwuahahahaha!
Funny, Jules! Great to see you!
Goodnight, Mayo! Goodnight, SS! Goodnight, Everybody!
I hope you all have a pleasant, calm, relaxing evening.
Goodnight smokie, amy, sweet dreams.
And wendy, I forgot to mention that in my email, I am hoping that one day I can come down and visit new orleans. Hopefully :)
Nite, BlogBelieve!
Sweet dreams!
*waves to ymmiF and semaJ*
Jules, Can't wait! Whoop! Whoop!
Goodnight mustard, solly sweet dreams
Psst, Wendy! I replied to your email.
"Anniversary"
A year ago today we stood
Above this same awakening world
I held you...
You never wanted me to know
Another year ago today
Before this same awakening world
I held you...
I never meant to let you go
There was a moment
There always is
When time stood still
And always was this...
One endless moment
You turn in pain
And I always let you go
Over and over again...
A year ago tonight we lay
Below this same remembering sky
I kissed you
You never wanted me to know...
Another year ago tonight
Behind this same remembering sky
I kissed you...
I never meant to let you go
Another moment
There always is
As time stands still
and always is this...
One endless moment
You tell me all
And I hold you and I kiss you
And I never let you go
I never let you go...
Goodnight blogbelieve
Well, sweetcheeks, it's be fun chatting a bit! My tummy is demanding to be feed.
If Lewis comes in, let her know my tummy has cooled off and settled down. I have graduated from cheese and crackers!
Hi to Ergo, Elena, TJ, and Carrie (for when/if they come in).
Good night sweetcheeks, Amy, BI, Sdock, Smoke, Mustard, RW, Mayo, SS ... everyone!
Sweet dreams to one and all!
J and L: I miss you ladies!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
BC: I'll try to get into that e-mail tonight. Have a great night, sweetcheeks!
Pssst....Amy, will read your reply after my feeding.
;)
*blows kisses*
Mayo,
Dude, 'sup? Or is it, 'sup, Dude? I get confused trying to be hipper than I really am which isn't really all that much.
So how did your day go? Did you stumble upon the secrets to the universe? If you did, I hope you didn't break your foot or fall in a hole or bump your head or something. What if all the secrets to the universe are hidden under orange cones? And we go out of our way to avoid them.....
Well now, that's just fucked up. But I'm on to all those road crew worker guys, I know what they are trying to do now. They're not building highways and bridges. Oh no, no....they are quite possibly and successfully, I might add, guarding and hiding the cipher for unlocking the code of life.
Sneaky bastards!
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. I should pay more attention to those road signs.
Goodnight Sugarplum, sweet dreams, and thank you for letting me know, and I will sure let Lewis know :)
Enjoy your food!
The Promise"
How time will heal
Make me forget
You promised me
Time will heal
Make me forget
You promised me
Love will save us all
And time will heal
You promised me...
How love will save
Make me forget
You promised me
Love will save
Make me forget
You promised me
Time will heal us all
And love will save
You promised me...
I trusted you
I wanted your words
Believed in you
I needed your words
Time will heal
make me forget
And love will save us all
You promised me another wish
Another way
You promised me another dream
Another day
You promised me another time
You promised me another life
You promised me..
So I swallowed the shame and I waited
I buried the blame and I waited
Choked back years of memories...
I pushed down the pain and I waited
Trying to forget...
You promised me another wish
Another way
You promised me another dream
Another day
You promised me another time
You promised me...
Another lie
Oh you promised me...
You promised me... You promised me...
And I waited... And I waited... And I waited...
And I'm still waiting...
For Mayo, SS, and All of BlogBelieve
Tomorrow's the day. Whatever it is, it happens tomorrow.
Make it yours, yeah?
10:20, I can't thank you enough! I hope this computer allows it; I'm going to try later on. Thank yoU!
Hi Pash! Wish I could be seeing you on Friday too. :(
10:20, I can't thank you enough! I hope this computer allows it; I'm going to try later on. Thank yoU!
Hi Pash! Wish I could be seeing you on Friday too. :(
BI -did you post "The Promise" ??
What a sad poem.
hey everybody. :)
kapunua, i loved your story, it totally made me crack up! esp. the bit where you momentarily thought you were a vampire. *hee*
how is everyone?
Hiya TJ :)
What are you up to? It's pretty quiet in here tonight.
hi there bc. :)
i'm just finishing up some rearranging over on my lj. i've been polishing up the place.
what's up with you?
I'm about to get long-winded and deep, and piss people off. Because everything I write pisses certain peopel off. ^_^
That's good. Nothing much going on on my part, just watching some TV.
For some reason, everytime I come here I'm rethinking my life, seeing what has changed and what hasn't.
Liek I said last night, I am out of a dead-end, soul-sucking, toxic job that I was tolerating whle pretending to love because, well, my default is to be cheerful and i tend to make the best of things, even when change would be better. I am going back to school to studay medicine, and that has been a dream of mine since probably around high school when I fell in love with biology.
There were so many roads I wanted to take back then, and I took none of them. There were some that I thought I wanted to take, but which I realize now would have been just as wrong for me as the wrong job was. Growing up, I thought I wanted my black-picket-fence version of The American Dream; a kind of Addams Family. I guess that would have been ideal, ut is ridiculously unlikely and perforce, I had to let that one go. Gomez is just Not Out There. What I could have done is settle for something in between--which is what I did with my stupid ex job--and I'm so glad I didn't.
Which leads me to why I settled so long for that stupid job. It hit me all at once today. I thought it had meaning. I thought I was helping.
THis is where I'm going to seague away from my original thoughts and talk abotu goings-on on this blog, and the attacking anons.
See, now most people, or at least many people, really need to be loved. A lot of folks need to be validated. They have to be popular, well-liked, and find a mate (in some cases just to prove that they can; the "I GOT ONE!" thing.) I see people who are desparate for the approval of others.
I've always said this, but today it really hit home; it was like the skies opened up and spilled this knowledge on me.
Being popular is NOT my motivation. And, holy crap! It never has been! I have never kowtowed for someone's approval, have never wheedled or begged or been obsequious. I've never been insincere; I've never made a huge show of "look at how nice I am being!" That stuff is meaningless to me. I can't fake-nice. I can't pretend.
The only approval I want is of those I really truly value. You get me or you don't. And if you don't, and you don't like me, then there's nothing I can do to change that and I am not going to pretend for niceties' sake that I care. I cease to acknowledge those people. And to some, that seems rude or snobbish but to me, why would I waste my thoughts and words and time on someone who already has their mind made up?
I'll never start crap with others, ut I will finish it, and I finish it with ice around the edges. Once someone has pushed enough of my buttons, I say what I have to say, and I have never had any trouble saying to someone's face anything I would say behind their back. Did that make sense?
Like my Dad wrote in his song: "I don't look for trouble, but I never ran."
My motivation has never been acceptance. For years I maintained that if I couldn't do some good to the world, then there was no sense in doing anything. While others strove to be loved and accepted, I strove to be useful, and I convinced myself for years that my service to animals at a crappy animal hospital was what I needed to be doing. (And maybe at the time it aws?) And to combat my issues with my looks, I always said, "I wasn't put on this planet to decorate it." Which in turn made me question: Why was I put on this planet? Which is not to say that I feel some entity specifically put me here; but it's nice to think that in the grand overview, I have a purpose.
"To serve" was always at the heart of it, but I dolled it up with, "to inspire, to entertain, to educate." i was thinking of writing and dancing, and spreading the Hawaiian culture.
But now, at this time of times, it all comes down: No, I really do need to serve. I need more meaning. And I think that even with the happy side-effects of indulging in my curiosity and my love for human biology, the main reason I am going to study the exact kind of medicine I am going to study, is because I can finally be of use. I can really serve. I can get my hands dirty. This is what's been waiting for me.
(In the back of my mind I feel like I can save everyone, too. I won't deny that a part of me feels like this is some kind of safety net: that if I study alternative medicine, nothing bad will ever happen to anyone in my life ever again. Or that if fates-forbid it does, I can fix it. I know that's unrealistic, but I can't deny that it's there.)
I need this sense of usefulness so badly that even if I am totally done with someone, if I perceive that I can help, I still have to in some way. What no one realizes or probably wants to realize what that I was the anon giving all the links to OPL when she became ill.
So anyways, I have this happy revelation--as if I needed another--that I am finally going down the correct road, yet half-buried under the sea like a rotting ship still full of treasures is that black-picket-fence dream. Walking around with the Boychild I'm thinking, "I need to do this, too. I need to have my own kid; I need to put a good person on the planet and pass on my values. I need to take someone on Dumbo and watch my grandparents play with their grand-child." No Gomez Addams--oh well--but a Wednesday or a Pugsley.
It's not the American Dream, but the American Dream is not for me. Those are not the values I want to pass on; little yellow ribbon magnets, stick-on american flags and singing God Bless America at Disneyworld. I believe in neither god nor america.
But the clock is ticking and it's ticking against my equally intense urge to be free to follow this other road, and still travel, and still get in that one last romantic fling. I know a person can accomplish all of these things, but it sure does compromise you.
Those are my super deep thoughts for tonight, and tomorrow we are going to Epcot and I'm going to buy some earrings and maybe soem Hello Kitty pajamas or an anime figure.
comic relief?
Oh crackers, 10:20, this computer doesn't have flash. Well, i appreciate the link and I will watch House when I come home next week. As long as I get to see it! Thank you!
kapunua, knowing what you want to do in life is a very good thing. the realization of it alone can give you a boost of energy to go forward and make it happen. but writing it out or telling it all out to someone is even better, because then it becomes real. you give it shape then, and life.
i'll be cheering you on all the way. :)
(and pick me up an anime souvenir! you know what i like! *grin*)
TJ, I know you understand, and I know you've been there and will be there again. :) Writing it out does help.
And, i wish you could see the store I am seeing tomorrow. It's heaven. Dokidoki!
ai, kapunua, even though i hardly ever buy anything, i love browsing anime shops so hard! i'll be ecto on your shoulder, so i'll do my best not to drool! :)
I usually do the same thing. I look and look, and everything is so pretty and then I go, "I'll get it another time," and I never do.
I really just like being there mostly. :D
yeah, it's all so shiny! but imagine what our places would look like if we bought everything in those shops that caught our eye...
yikes!
I often say that my place looks like a twelve year old struck out on her own. ^_^ Oh man though, if I ever got rich, my extravagance would be anime and video game figures. :D
Welp! I am off to bed for now. Early days again. So much damn walking and chasing and carrying. ^_^
I'll think of ya tomorrow in that store, TJ. :)
Good night everyone!
lol i can just imagine your place kapunua. :)
have a great day tomorrow!
yenoh ih
uoy fo gnikniht
:)
Kapunua said...
Oh crackers, 10:20, this computer doesn't have flash. Well, i appreciate the link and I will watch House when I come home next week. As long as I get to see it! Thank you!
September 16, 2008 11:45 PM
you're welcome. It was a interesting episode. I think you will like it.
i just heard the coyotes again.
i went into the guest room to put away a couple of things, and heard them through the open window. i sat on the floor and watched, but they didn't leave the shelter of the trees. they would have been easy to see in the moonlight on the field, even with the light layer of fog there.
they sounded like they were having fun. :)
nona iH
Hi TJ thanks for the text, glad you liked the pic, it was about 8pm last night looking to the east from the front of our house
hey, hi ergo! i have to go get some coffee, but i'll be right back. :)
my mom and i watched the moon rise tonight -- it was gorgeous huge and exactly the color of these b's as it rose free of the trees -- and i told her about how you sent me a picture of the aussie moon, and she laughed at me and said it was the same one i saw, and i said "nuh-uh, her's was more special."
*grin*
awwww :D
we get it really orange sometimes if there are fires aboutlast night it had a rainbow ring around it as there were light clouds over it
I got a new camera today so i'll have to try a moon pic with it too
yenoh em llac uoy nehw ekil i
;straeh&
oh ergo, you should have seen the sunsets and the moons when we had with the forest fires back in montana. you almost hated to admire them.
will you clicky link any good pics? :D
"when we had"? wth? and i want to be a writer. lol
that we had.
*sheesh*
I knew what you meant
I sure will it has a better macro and zoom :)
excellent!
hey, ergo, forgive the shameless plug, but i was hoping you would read my new lj? i found the memoir i wrote after going to my first concert a couple of years ago. it's long, a bit flaily, and maybe a little too detailed, but it really captures what that night meant for me. i couldn't resist posting it over there. :)
oh cool TJ I'll have a look
TJ that is great
you captured the moment beautifully!
yenoh ,yenoh uoy gnillac ekil i
:)
thank you, ergo! :D
what's weird is that i found it here in my mom's computer. i must have sent it to her, which is perplexing, but even more than that is the fact that i didn't send her an edited g-rated version! i must have been feeling a bit defiantly adolescent in the wake of going to my first concert.
*embarrassing*
well I have to go a titorin'
doing and extra hour for a science report as well as maths
see you tomorrow
take care and sweet dreams
♥xx♥
yenoh etindoog
(:
Toujours
Hope you don't mind. I had a peak at your LJ.
You seemed quite enthralled that day.
Glad you had a great time. It's not everyday that you renounce your musical chastity, so it's best to have a pleasurable experience ^_~
^peek. I'm sure you know what I meant.
see you ergo. :)
i don't mind at all, 2:09 -- that is why it was a public post, after all. *grin*
and it was indeed a very good evening, set me on the path of ill repute i now enjoy. ;)
thgindoog :)
!yzzif os em ekam uoy
;straeh&;straeh&
Mayo
So did you do any reflecting today? Did you spend any time thinking about your life, your dreams, the path you’ve chosen? Of did you just hurry through your day never taking a minute to ponder anything more than ‘what should I have for lunch?’
I actually did reflect on things in my life today. Yeah, totally did some soul searching. Funny thing is it didn’t bring me any peace. Hell, it anything it made me angry. There are so many things in my life I want to change but I realized I couldn’t. Not that I wouldn’t if I could but so much of what needs to change I can’t change. I can’t change others. I can only change myself. I suppose I can change the way I react to them. Okay to be honest here I’ve tried that. It didn’t work. Nothing I seem to do works. Now, I’m getting desperately close to falling into the whole ‘I’ll just give up’ thing. That will not happen. I won’t let it. So maybe some more reflecting is in order. Maybe I’m missing something. Perhaps I’m overlooking something very important. There has to be an answer. There is always an answer, isn’t there? It’s just sometimes we purposely overlook it because we know deep down it’s not what we want to hear.
So my Friendly Condiment I sit here wondering why it is I still have this feeling of distance from you and from this place. Is it my imagination and you are still sitting over in the corner? I want to believe that is how things still are. I want to believe.
Enough. I do believe I have reflected myself quite a headache. Way too much pondering. A thought just occurred to me regarding tomorrow “task”. It’s not an easy one and yes, I will be doing it myself. Tomorrow write a letter to someone in your past you’ve “wronged”. Hey, do not give me that “I’ve never wronged anyone” look. Yeah, you have. Everyone in this world has wronged someone at one point in their life. Sit down and take the time to write the words that explain why you did it and how you feel about it now. No, this is not to be seen by anyone else. This is a letter that will never be mailed. This is an exercise in self-discovery. It is a way to learn more about yourself. Shit, that really sucks and I’m not truly looking foreword to doing it but sometimes in making ourselves do things we’d rather not we achieve the clarity we need. We walk through a haze that hides what we don’t want to see. Only problem with that is we tend to bump into things.
Night Mayo
Elena (things can only get better – this I truly believe)
good night elena. i hope you find what you're looking for. *hugs*
mayo,
i'm a bit shakey with the need for sleep. i don't know why i always stay up so late. maybe it's just that right now i'm the only one awake in the house, and i'm reluctant to leave the solitude for sleep.
but sleep is pleasant, now, too. the last few nights have been cool enough to sleep with my window open. i love the smell of the night air, and the moonlight kind of sneaks into my window. by the time of the night i've been getting to bed, she's on the other side of the house, but she still makes my room glow.
it's quieter outside now, too. the tree frogs have stopped their night-long chorus, it's just crickets and other soft sounds that follow the moonlight into my room.
it's lovely. i can even see the stars, a little, beyond the curtains.
from my stars to yours, mayo, sweet dreams and a good night.
i hope he hears you elena.
*comes in a bit early due to desperately needing sleep*
Good morning/afternoon/night Mayo, SS, Elena, Ergo, TJ, the possibly next to arrive Possum, FASC, Miranth , Lewis, BC or Sdock; various anons, watchers and lurkers; fakes, phonies, poseurs, sell outs and (of course) the real deals in the land o’blogbelieve!
How are you all this a.m/p.m? Doing good and planning to do some good today, I hope!
Ergo: Thank you for letting me know your daughter enjoyed my hurricane videos!!! Please give her a big THANK YOU for watching and for saying I sound nice (southern accent and all)! I promise I shall work on uploading my “Hurricane Ike Moon” videos today. Ohh....you’ll get to see Tinker Belle frolicking in the yard and Sandy Ann snacking on a (flavored) paper towel in one of my Ike videos! Your daughter might enjoy that! I’m glad to hear she did so well with her presentation! Did you get pictures?
*smoooooooooch*
Amy: I missed your “gassing” comment last night. Sorry! To answer your question: I think I could use a little more gas right now! :P
I’m glad all is good on your end and I’m thrilled to hear about the wedding talk!!!! HOORAY!!!!! Pssst....Your reply has been replied to. I hope to receive a reply to that reply, soon! ;)
Elena: Wonderful goodnight! You are so correct about change. The only person we have the power to change is our self. We can encourage and support others in their desire for change; but, we can’t make the changes for them. It all comes from within!
BC/Sweetcheeks: I still can’t get to your e-mail. I will try again later today. In the meantime, here’s a little something you might enjoy!
Some SIN for BC
Sinamore, that is! ;)
Ohhh....and Carnival Season/Mardi Gras is a perfect time to visit!!!!!
Did you hear that, Mya?
BI, EB37, Redrum and PJ: Nice to read you all yesterday! I must have one of those Banana phones!
For pondering consideration today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene."
Arthur Christopher Benson
"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."
Mark Twain
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another."
Anatole France
and:
"The most significant change in a person's life is a change of attitude. Right attitudes produce right actions."
Willam J. Johnston
*with special thanks this morning to Elena*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a great day, everyone!!!!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Hi SisMidnite, Fruit Punch, Star, NJ Anon and A Rose For Emily!
Hello Friends
I just wanted to 'pop' by and say hello - I hope you are all in good health....
I have not read the contents of the blog for sometime so cannot comment... just a flying visit...
as I don't/Can't visit much anymore due to other commitments
Sdock - are you still here ? are we still going round in circles - Do i Still need to Jump on that plane ?
BC - are you well ?
Time is short
take care
m.
m.,
Hello, It's awesome to read you! Do you know how many times your initial has been shouted out as being missed over the past month?
I hope you are happy and well.
I have been pushed in a new direction but some days I still find myself circling. You're more than welcome to hop on that plane, come down here, and get me back on track. Hell, who knows? We might even go skydiving together.
Take care!
BlogBelieve,
Have an awesome Wednesday!
SeeYa'll Later!
Mayo,
How are ya? Did ya sleep well? I hope somebody did because I sure as hell didn't! Grrrrrrrr, fuck! Oh well, oh well, oh well...
I feel like I've been stomped on by a herd of bulls or buffalo or something. But like the good little team player I am, I will put on my game face and play through the pain today. RAWR!
Don't "yay" for me just yet! I just said I would show up, play, and give it a try. I never said that I wouldn't get tossed by the ref for unsportsmanlike conduct.
I'm ready to "throw some 'bows" (elbows) and yell some obscenities at Wednesday! Get outta my way if you don't want to get hit with a flagrant foul!! I'll be unstoppable!
Mayo, here's to ya today....Get in the game! So what if you end up benched or sent to the locker room early, at least you played, right?
A little sweat and sore muscles never hurt anyone.
(Wait, what? That shit does hurt. Reminds me why I couldn't sleep last night.)
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Score!
Thanks Solly. Now I got Tim McGraw stuck in my head!
I went skyyyyydiiivvvinnggg!
Hello there m.!
Welp, have a great day folks!
See ya when I see ya!
shit I didn't realise it was so late, I got absorbed playing with my camera and lost track of time, must go to bed.
Mayo wishing you tonnes of good stuff
much love EP xx
SS sending you rainbows and sunny skies lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve see you briefly before work in my morning
♥xx♥
ps. she's looking forward to seeing the new stuff
*smoooooch*
elena have a great wednesday
good to see you m
PP please tell your aussie rellies to get the **** out of the tree in front of our bedroom!lol
♥good morning♥
:)
So, just to update on what Frank said to the fan at the last Leathermouth show:
Four people contradicted the original poster on her journal, saying that what Frank actually said was, "I still wouldn't feel comfortable saying that shit back to you." Finally, the OP admitted that from where she was in the venue it was hard to hear and conceded that she probably got the quote wrong.
So, yeah. Chinese Whispers, you guys. Don't be so willing to believe everything you hear.
Oh, and just in case you want to read for yourself.
^__^
Obligatory PC nitpick: "Telephone" or "Grapevine" are less derogatory names for that childhood game.
^_^
Straight from FIMBLE STAR'S lastest blog post
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Mind games and tiddly-winks
So many people think that to play tiddly-winks, you need to be in the know.
The only thing you need to know is to not let bitter old sweaty bags play your game.
You never know when they will hide and take your pieces and then try and blame the person next to them, and claim that they stole your tiddly-winks.
After all, you only wanted to play with your tiddly-winks, not be stabbed by old bitter hags who want your winkies.
Playing games takes you back to your childhood, Maybe there is a time to stop?
What do you think, cherub/s?
Mispelled by Fimble Star
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE SEEN THE OPS CALLED "BITTER OLD HAGS?" HERE IS THE MAIN "ANON" AGAINST THEM. SWEET, WONDERFUL, KIND FIMBLE STAR WHO BACKSTABS JUST AS MUCH AS KAPUNUA, AND WHO HONESTLY, IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN KAPUNUA. ITS OBVIOUS FROM THIS POST SHE THINKS THE OPS ARE THE ANON TALKING TO KAPUNUA. WELL, YOU ARE WRONG, FIMBLE. BY THE TIME YOU FIGURE THAT OUT YOU WILL BE AN "OLD BITTER HAG" YOURSELF.
sdock10 said...
Fimble,
*winks*
Can I play with your tiddlies? Oh wait, that's right, I already did.
You clever girl.
September 16, 2008 10:15 PM
Please stop shouting.
Kthx.
The intrawebz is srs bizness.
Frealz.
Obligatory PC nitpick: "Telephone" or "Grapevine" are less derogatory names for that childhood game.
Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive. I've never heard it called anything other than, you know, *whispers* that other name. I looked it up to find out why it might be deemed offensive and found that it's primarily an American thing. So, for all the Americans here, I apologise.
I thought fimble star was going to leave and never come back. How long was that? Two days?
Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive. I've never heard it called anything other than, you know, *whispers* that other name. I looked it up to find out why it might be deemed offensive and found that it's primarily an American thing. So, for all the Americans here, I apologise.
S'alright. You don't have to apologize. The nitpick was more of an FYI than an ZOMG YOU DIN'T SAY THAT NOOOES GOIN TO HELL NOW!!!11!!
^_~
Good afternoon EVERYONE
:)
lol at 11.15am, if you wish to believe any of your shouting, then go right a head.
1) its a post about tiddly winks, so how does that sum up to being about the blog and the people? Oh, thats correct (lightbulb moment) mayo is now in charge of all the tiddly winks out in the entire world.
Damn mayo, you sure get around for a condiment, don't you ;)
oh and for the 'bitter hags' reference, i actually said 'bitter bags' but by all means, you can think hags if you wish.
I think it was in fact you that planted that term on those people, not I but oh well, you cant please them all, can you?
So, i will state this, my post was about tiddly winks, not Mayos.
I see you also posted SDock10 comment as well, we are actually meeting up on Friday (if you haven't of read) so maybe you would like to meet up with us and ask all your little questions, or even shout them. I doubt you will because you won't have your screen in front of you.
Best wishes for your future and i hope that you have a long and happy life, maybe you could go play some tiddly winks, i know both me and my maggots enjoy playing on a regular basis.
:)
Just a quick note before I have to get ready to leave, but hello to anyone here.
m, it's so great to see you. You have been missed, you know? I'm doing okay, thanks. I hope you're well, and that hopefully when you have any time, you come back and visit us again. Thank you for checking up on me.
Sugarplum: Thank you so much for the video link. I shall check it out as soon as I get back. I love checking out new bands, so my sincerest thank yous to you *blows kisses* I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday. Why do so many great bands have to be from Finland?
I am going to have to plan a trip there someday ^_^
And that's it for now. I hope you guys have a great day, and so on.
Later!
"oh and for the 'bitter hags' reference, i actually said 'bitter bags' but by all means, you can think hags if you wish."
From your blog
"After all, you only wanted to play with your tiddly-winks, not be stabbed by old bitter hags who want your winkies."
THIS is what was on your post Fimble Star, you changed it before you came on here. No matter, I saved the original, figuring you would do something like that. Try all you want, it is unmistakable what you are getting at. You're not good at covering, Fimble Star. Have a GREAT day with that!
If you weren't talking about them, who WERE you talking about?
HERE IS THE MAIN "ANON" AGAINST THEM. SWEET, WONDERFUL, KIND FIMBLE STAR WHO BACKSTABS JUST AS MUCH AS KAPUNUA, AND WHO HONESTLY, IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN KAPUNUA
you forgot to add dirty bird to that and yes fimble is very very dangerous and so is kapunua. They will hunt you down and your life will never be the same!!!Please people, everyone that knows fimble knows she is not dangerous LOL! But she IS a dirty bird.
I thought fimble star was going to leave and never come back. How long was that? Two days?
Who are you? A spy or the papparazzi? Damn...fimmy iz famous!
Gee and Chantal
being lame
Anonymous said...
Gee and Chantal
being lame
September 17, 2008 4:07 PM
I will take them being lame over Jimmy having sex with a muppet.
isn't that LynZ in the middle of Chantal and Gerard?
LOL, the alien, ugly man is lyndsey
Anonymous said...
LOL, the alien, ugly man is lyndsey
September 17, 2008 4:38 PM
The alien ugly man would be an improvement.
what happened to LynZ's hair in that pic? she's rockin' a skullet now.
Good evening, guys! Just popping in to share some music related news that you are welcome to overlook, then I'll be siahnahruh (that is too hard to spell, so phonetics it is!). :)
Norman Whitfield passes away.
This dude had a hand in creating some of my most favorite songs. I'm such a fan of Motown music, and if you asked me why, I couldn't tell you. Something about it.
Pretty big news for fans of the Foos.
They're going on a "long break." Hopefully not too long! Dave gave a great explanation for the decision though.
Whoop whoop! Mikey, look out!
Get your dirty paws on that if you're a Pumpkins fan! Too bad it couldn't be released, say, I dunno, like on Halloween, 'cause, geddit?
No?
Arrrrrrgh!!! Nevermind.
;)
Later, guys! Have a great Thursday tomorrow!
good morning
sheesh coming on here sometimes I feel like I'm back AT school not just teaching there, people get a life seriously.
if everyone just quit with these stupid conspiracy,"so and so is saying such and such about so and so"
in any way shape or form it'd be a whole lot more pleasant.
and the photo looks fun, like you'd typically do at an event like that, call it lame if you want but millions of people do the same
hi mustard
such a shame music has lost 2 icons in a couple of days
My English teacher asked me to explain what an extended metaphor was and since I'm not very good at explaining things I tried to use this blog as an example. I told her about how people refer to the blog as a 'castle' in a magical place called blogbelieve and how they pretend to give each other imaginary food via the comments.
Needless to say my entire English class think I'm a crazy person now.
anon that's funny, you poor thing.
*makes you comfy spot on the couch*
it is a rather difficult concept to explain
*brings over plate of sugar cookies and glass of iced tea*
you just have a rest and I'm sure they'll all forget about it
*pats head*
:)
I hear you anon. I want to say things to people in work. Some names are similar to some here or remind me of the blog. I have to stop myself all the time!
Hello condiment. ^_^
*smiles at Mayo*
waves to ergo! :)
I am too freakin tired these days to do anything anymore. See you guys later, maybe
off to work
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hi :)
hello
♥♥
Hullo!
Hey anyone.
Hi RW *big squeeze!* Hi hearts anon :)
About t go on stage. HAAAAALP
O_O
Hi, BC :)
*squeeze*
On stage?
Whatchoo doing, K??
Hi, S&V :)
Iz you gonna teach Mickkkahh Mouse how to hula? O_o
Hi RW! :)
How are we s'posed to help?
Bwah!
Or "haaaaaaaaalp" even?
RW and all of Mayo's!
Go and visit the Porch to see what Smoke did today!
It is absolutely fantastic!
STFU, Solly!
Hi, Solly :)
I'm off to baff!
*Sends lots of "haaaaaaaalp" to Jules*
Actually, Mayo, it wasn't even my fault.
I'm blaming it on Gerard.
Why?
Well, everything is his fault.
EVERYTHING!!!
Omg! How funny!! Did you sit there all day and try to hide your feet? HA HA HA At least your toenails matched.That made my day!
I didn't even realize it until after lunch.
I iz slow. @_@
But ya know what?
It's GERARD'S FAULT!
Bwahahaha. I had to do that. Glad I made you laugh, Anon.
I laughed pretty damn hard myself. My boss was like, "OMG! OMG! Where's my camera? I wanna take a picture! You iz soooo slow! OMG!"
She wuvs me.
Welp, I'm off to take a shower.
Be back later!
It reminds me of one morning i couldnt find my bra, hell i couldnt find any of them and i had to go to work.I dashed to the store and bought a bra, and drove to work and when i was in the parking lot,i pulled up my shirt to put on my bra and there was my bra around my waist..
Because I can feel you need it
and when i was in the parking lot,i pulled up my shirt to put on my bra and there was my bra around my waist..
O_o
Has anybody been on mcrumorcontrol lately to read the latest bullshit from one of the all-knowing zomgmcrrumors shit-stirrers?
Effin' hilarious. The MCR fandom never fails to bring the lulz.
Is that for Mayo anon?
I don't go there, 8:18pm. I can only imagine what it's about this time.
Hi smoke and solly, and anyone else.
I forgot to come back here. Oops. I'm about to go hit the shops, so I'll be back in a bit when I'm not occupied.
Later everyone :)
Bye, BC, have fun :)
I'm off as well. Have a good night, everyone :)
*phew*
Better.
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