Those hills breathe fire
And exhale into the stream
Billows of crackled frames
Mixed with the amassed sordid matter
Of a thousand million leaves
Pelf, from pandered promise
Settles into the hollows
Filling the rift with futile night
They will brush ash from their soles
For an eternity after having been told
Better to swallow holes than believe
What was struck, no longer stands
p.s. and so it went.
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«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 5145 Newer› Newest»I skipped high school so I couldn't say.
Well RW, I know that's hyperbole but it does seem only a matter of time, right? I mean the Bible mentions how menstruation is unclean and there is a whole section about how to sequester women when they're "dirty" in that way, and how they are not allowed in the house, and everything had to be disinfected if they come to close to their home and stuff. And we know how Bush and his ilk feel about the Bible, right? It's their law, and they run the country according to it.
So it's really not too much of a stretch, is it?
And even if it stopped here, it is way past bad enough already.
Okay, well, I'm off for the night, and obviously left with a lot of stuff to ponder.
Who's saving it?
Later guys.
Here and I was going to go nuts telling all about my fabulous and hilarious night at Kung Fu, and now I'm just feeling so disgusted.
RW how did you skip high school?
It can be found here, Mustard.
Mayo,
First of all, I'd just like to, again, say that I'm envious of the way you and so many others have this insane ability to capture an entire fucking picture in just a few words. As one who is unable to do that, please be thankful for your ability, and never stop honing your craft, because it really is an admirable one to be able to write like that.
Even with such a, what seems like, really heavy topic, the way you describe it, I don't know, it's just kind of, you know, awesome.
They will brush ash from their soles
For an eternity after having been told
Better to swallow holes than believe
What was struck, no longer stands
You realize we're human, right? We are forced to cope, or at least I am, and we do it with whatever's there, whatever's the least painful, even if it means lying to ourselves.
(It's always hardest when you realize your lie is exactly what it is.)
We will tell ourselves anything to make it okay for a second knowing the whole fucking time that it isn't, and when you wake up in the morning, none of it will makes sense, and you'll have to start all over again.
It's life, dude. And I'll be the first to admit that it sometimes sucks really effing hard. But, I've convinced myself that we have bad days and bad weeks and months so that one day is amazing and epic and absolutely beautiful.
P.S. Case-in-point? 10:09. Except not really so beautiful. Mostly just life.
SS,
Thank you very much for what you did today. Like I said earlier, I'm sure that will mean so much to MissT that you remembered him in your own way.
Have a lovely Thursday, and hopefully we'll see you around.
Mayo,
How are ya? Good, I hope. Me? I'm tired, so fucking tired. Yeah, I'm supposed to be on vacation but I'm seriously thinking about going back to work tomorrow.
I know, I know, I know. I can't keep running. Keep pretending. Keep playing this game with myself. The breakdown will come, but it probably won't come until I drive away from here for the last time.
This sounds so fucking stupid. I should shut the fuck up and go to sleep. Stop the fucking whining. Stop the fucking nonsense. Wake up tomorrow and face this shit and stop walking all around it. Shifting piles of clothes, shifting piles of papers, piles of shit, and blame.
None of it fucking matters anyways, right?
Nope.
Now that I've throw out a record number of fucks in my comment. I think I will shut the fuck up and be on my way.
G'nite, Mayo. Tonight, I'm tired, lost, hurt, and angry. Here's me hoping that you are not.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Well, fuck it, then.
Thank you, RW, for linking me. :)
See you guys around.
I took correspondence for all of grade 10 and parts of grade 11 and 12. What I didn't take by correspondence, I took equivalency tests for at the local community college.
Junior high was bad enough, I could see where high school might have gone for me. And when I see a train wreck coming straight for me, I get off the tracks.
kapu,
please take a deep breath. it doesnt mean it will get thru, it doesnt mean it will come to pass. more than ever we all need to vote this time around. make our wishes known.
about the bible stuff, please dont do that. you are pulling stuff from the old testament and using it to enrage yourself more. there are many christians who dont believe the way bush does.
ok another deep breath.....
in and out
what happened at kung fu?
No worries, Mustard :)
Have a good night!
Anyway, K, Bush will be gone soon. I know that may not be a comfort seeing as he's still around for a few more months, but at least it's not another 4 years, and I can't see Obama keeping a law like that.
RW,
Good for you. High school did suck. No matter what group you were in, it always looked better over there when in reality it all sucked.
You must have had cool parents who supported your decision. Pretty damn smart if you ask me.
I know it is Old Testament, anon. What do you really think Bush's agenda is though? What do you think their administration is? This is a theocracy. Many christians do not believe in that, but the ones who do are currently in power; and there are enough of them voting that this has a chance.
Bush is getting his last shots in, and they are knockouts.
Didn't you see the other link from this afternoon?
President Bush has asserted executive privilege to prevent Attorney General Michael Mukasey from having to comply with a House panel subpoena for material on the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity.
He's to the point where other people's thoughts on things don't matter anymore.
Obama is against it, RW, but what if he doesn't win? There is always that option.
And you can't and shouldn't calm down. We can't breathe until this entire theocracy is overturned. It's ridiculous, the steps we've taken backwards.
K,
you ok? i feel your hair might be on fire!
what can we get you? soda, beer, glass of wine, shot of vodka?
some of teej's pain meds?!?
Oh hell, my parents tried everything to get me to go to school! They pleaded, threatened and bribed. But I didn't yield at all. Looking back, I don't know where I got the strength from to be so adamant about it, but in the end they relented & it turned out to be a very good thing for me. I learned self-discipline, was treated like a intelligent human by my instructors, and - with a few exceptions - got to pick my own courses.
Anon, you can get me a goddamn new administration. I'd love to sit here and say "I can't believe this is happening" but the hell of it is, I can believe it is happening. What if Obama doesn't win, then what? How much farther is it going to go?
I've gotta make some anti-Bush videos.
i appreciate the fact you are so passionate about all this. i just dont see what can be done by getting yourself all worked up, that is all. your passion is incredible and i appreciate your sharing this information. he just makes himself look more foolish by the day.
i just wanted to help you, that is all. wanted you to think about something less upsetting.
Anon,
Very true.
I had a half way decent time in high school because all the girls hated the nuns more than we could have hated each other, so we bonded over that.
But I had absolutely no social skills when it came to talking to boys.
i think mccain is conservative too, but he isnt as stupid as bush. people are so sick of bush, i think they will vote for anyone but a republican.
Obama is against it, RW, but what if he doesn't win?
I think that's unlikely. I think most people have had more they can take of the Republicans for a while.
Too bad you don't have the option of booting a leader out before they're tenure is up if you think they're doing a crappy job. We can do that here. If the party in power wins with only a minority government (less than a certain number of seats in the House of Commons) then the minority government can badger them into an early election. It's happened quite recently.
The Christian Right is neither.
then the minority government can badger them into an early election. It's happened quite recently.
By minority government in this sentence I mean the party who had the next greatest amount of seast in parliament.
*seats
Geez, my typing sucks tonight >_<
McCain is the same as Bush. If he gets in office it will be like the monster got its head cut off and another grew in its place.
Outside of america it seems as if everyone is so sick of Bush and his jingoistic, unilateral, evangelical chest-beating, but try living here. Inside of america, that is not the case. I actually know people who are going to vote for McCain. I mean, I actually know them personally.
There are people who won't vote for Obama because he is black.
Mostly, there are enough people who honestly believe that Bush is the right hand of god, and who will try to continue his work.
i didnt have a bad time in high school either, but i saw the damage done to others. i'd like to think i kept my nose clean. most of my friends were older or younger and that kept the rivalry to a minimum. i didnt date the guys at my school because they were more like brothers. that helped me stay under the radar as well. i wish things were different for many, but you just cant go back. have to let it go and move on. kids are mean to each other. adults are mean to each other. bottom line, mean people suck!
What the hell?
goodnight everyone, sweet dreams.
Mayo, Fav Fives is the way to go, it is the future ;)
SS, thank you :)
nighty night.
To a point, we can, RW. Or at least there is impeachment, which doesn't actually amount to anything in the end anyways, at least not usually.
The thing is--and I wasn't the biggest Bill Clinton fan either--but he was impeached over sex.
Bush, meanwhile, has single-handedly destroyed the economy, put us into fiscally the most expensive war in american history, illegally invaded a country against the wishes of the UN, blocked investigations into his reign, practically abolished the fifth amendment, made it so that he can spy on citizens without warrant, the list goes on and on and I could do this for pages!
And no one has officially said a word!
Someone give this man a blowjob already!
Good night, Fim. ^_^
Hi & bye, Fimmy :)
Well, I should head off too. It's past my bedtime!
Have a good night, everyone :)
what do they say you shouldnt discuss with friends?
religion and politics
i have to agree with the anon about the christian right being neither. i dont like to lump all people into one category, but there are a large group who fit into this.
How many people here actually heard about the fifth amendment last year, raise your hand?
Good evening, everyone. How are you doing?
10:09, thank you for posting that. That is one of the reasons I love him.
Gnothi, I left you a comment on your blog, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Paperheart, I left a message for you too, but know I am thinking about you.
TJ, hope you are feeling better today. I am thinking of you as well.
Elena, as always, hope your day is doing ok, and love to you.
Wendy, get better soon! Good to see you around as well.
And so many more.
OH, and
"HI PJ!!!!"
L.
Speaking in general terms is all I do. Not all Christians nor all rights.
*raises hand*
Halloooooo... Anybody in here?
-A
That's because he has the country so fearful of terrorism that many will agree to anything that may look like it has the slightest chance of deterring potential future poblems. Politically, all the Bush family knows is war. Frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't just closed all the borders, stopped all trade, and advised the populace to stock up on supplies, hunker down, and trust no one who wasn't born & bred in the USA.
I understand what you mean, anon. I am a Christian, and you would be surprised at what I do and do not believe.
BC, are you still around? I left a message at your blog as well.
Hi, A & L :D
ER... bye, A & L, I am off to bed! Have a lovely night :)
Helllloooo, Amy, how are you?
L.
Good night, RW, sweet dreams.
That's because he has the country so fearful of terrorism that many will agree to anything that may look like it has the slightest chance of deterring potential future poblems. Politically, all the Bush family knows is war.
Well that's it, you just nailed it. This administration controls people with fear. "Do what we say, let us take human right after human right after human right, because if you don't, TURRISTS gonna blow your ass up."
Frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't just closed all the borders, stopped all trade, and advised the populace to stock up on supplies, hunker down, and trust no one who wasn't born & bred in the USA.
No, we have the "liberal" (lol) media for that. 'Round these parts we call that "Fox News."
Goodnight RW!
Halloooo L! Finally wrestled J away from the computer? She keeps sayin you're sick with something...
Just kidding.
They're making a Barbie based on a comic book character, and people are freaking out because she looks like a hooker.
I dunno about you guys, but when I had a Barbie, she had nothing but hooker clothes. That's all they made. Either that, or my mom was really cheap.
-A
Yeah, Amy, I finally felt well enough to lock her in the bathroom and I have TAKEN OVER!
I'm doing a little better today, and I missed talking to you guys. Doesn't look like I missed much last night, but...
How are you doing. Flung your badge at anyone yet?
i think being open minded and tolerate of others is more christian than bashing people who dont believe the same as you. why not listen to what they have to say, you might learn something.
so true about the country running scared. no one wants to live thru another 9-11. i dont think tapping the phones is the way to prevent it though. how about getting to know your neighbors again?!? we all hunker down in our homes and dont speak to one another anymore. no wonder we are paranoid.
Mccain is a puppet. Bush is an ass. Makes one of himself every time he opens his mouth.
he perpetuated his fathers wishes to make him and his cronies richer. Doesnt care about God. Hides behind God and the Bible. Lies and tries to use it to his advantage or so he thinks. Bush's God Is Power and money.
He has destroyed this country. I dont think it can be fixed at this point. Barack O'Bama I dont not trust but you have to choose the lesser of the evils.
Sorry, I dont know if i believe politics should be brought here.
Full moon tonight making everyone a bit fuckin crazy
Barbie has been on a downward spiral since losing Ken.
The dream house has gotten much smaller, she can't seem to hold a job, family members are coming out of the woodwork looking to cash in... I feel for her.
k,
i applaud your passion. i wish i cared more, but i just dont give a shit. so sad to admit.
10:57 Anon you are right.
sorry. no politicking.
Not yet L. I planned to do that today, and then I was reminded of something, so I'll just wait until Friday. Then I have 2 days off to relax, recollect, and recharge before going in on Monday to have the manager either beg me to stay, or scream that everything is all my fault. Which is what she's been doing the last 2 days.
Oh well. It'll be over soon. Then, I'll go to work for the chocolate factory and life will be good.
-A
I care when people are being fooled and when their rights are being taken away. Not just my rights, but the rights of others. Bush's "marriage protection" week and the push to redefine marriage as between a man and a woman. The fading rights of anyone who doesn't believe in his ridiculous war. The overturning of the fifth amendment. The lies about Iraq, the people who lose their lives for nothing.
And my rights as well, as a woman.
I can't even abide it.
hello L how are you?
Hi amy how are you too
hi k and anons
Anon, if I start talking politics I lose it after a while. So I tend to steer clear in some places. I have several nieces and nephews coming up voting age and the one thing I have streesed to all of them is to KNOW WHAT EACH PERSON STANDS FOR and to make up there mind by being informed, not because they liked the way a candidate looked, or because they heard the other was like this, or like that.
One of my nieces was visiting right before the Bush/Kerry election and she was on the phone to her boyfriend at the time (he is history, thankfully) and he asked her to ask me who I was voting for. When I told her Kerry he said he was voting for Bush. I asked her to ask him why, just out of curiosity. His reply was "Because Bush don't like fags."
I made her hang up the phone and she and I had a LOOONNNGGG talk!
One more time: Zeitgeist.
It's so scary, but it's so worth it.
Anon, I saw Barbie walkin down the street the other day, I'm not sure but she might have been wearing that outfit...
Odd, I didn't think there were any comic conventions in town.
-A is laughing.
Hi Ergo. ^_^
K,
You have made several valid points. Sadly, I doubt sharing them here will get you very far. I haven't seen many activists here apart from those who protect only one.
For Amyranth
Pure Imagination
Come with me and you'll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination
We'll begin with a spin
Trav'ling in the world of my creation
What we'll see will defy
Explanation
{Refrain}
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be
{Refrain}
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be
Amy, if we here of a screaming woman being hauled out of a store yelling "AND ANOTHER THING..." we'll know it's you.
Chocolate sounds good about now. Just be careful of that chocolate river flowing down the center of the factory.
J. Says "HI!" Amy!
Ergo, I'm doing a little better today. How are you doing?
What rights?!@ Ever hear of tyranny? He doesnt believe in a constitution.
there were never weapons of mass destruction!
I dont want to talk about it anymore.
Remember, no politicking.Ok
Amy, if we here
Hear. Typo fairy strikes again!
Hallo Ergo!
How's the new stove? Should I be jealous?
-A
I'm ok thanks
just had lunch
anon that song was a wonderful part of the movie but I think we should warn amy - DON"T EAT THE BUBBLEGUM!
Thanks 11:22, except you lost me a bit on the last part, but thank you.
As far as activism goes, I guess the only real "activism" I do is speaking up and well, giving money and canvassing, not just political stuff, but other issues of human (and animal) rights. (Although admittedly I'm more of a true activist with animal rights.) That stuff gets you shouted down a lot.
If I had any kind of real guts, I'd be out there doing protests and stuff!
But it feels like an uphill battle so much of the time. When it comes to this administration and this country, you can research and find sources and all of this jive, and you can spread it far and wide, but the truth of the matter is that if people don't want to believe it--if they really do feel safer thinking that their country is protecting them?--then they are not going to hear it. They're just not.
It makes me tired.
Goodnight RW, sweet dreams. Hiya Amykins and L.
L, yep I'm here. Thanks for letting me know :)
RW, I do agree that that is the tactic Bush is using. It's obvious. What a stupid fuck he is. I'm voting for Obama, plain and simple. McCain is definitely out of the question.
Sweet dreams!
It is nice amy, it's just a basic upright gas but it's already nicer than my old electric one
new stove
i made most of my barbie clothes.
i made a skin-tight sweater dress out of a charcoal sock. it was pretty damn amazing (you had to pop her head off to put it on or take it off, though).
i also had this one little flapper-inspired number made out of a scrap of houndstooth and leftover bits of embroidery floss. it had a looped multicolored fringe for a skirt. very risqué!
Tyranny! He's putting the "dick" back into "dictatorship."
Bush said himself, on more than one occasion, that he wants the US to be a dictatorship. He actually said it and he still got a second term.
ergo,
good for you :-)!
happy cooking huh?
I won't politic as I don't understand how US politics works, though the proposal seems extreme.
My nephew broke the legs off my Barbie, at the knees.
She didn't look too good in anything after that.
In the end, all you can do is hope to inspire just one more. Whether it be to research, protest or simply start talking about the issues that are cleverly hidden.
Your stove is lovely, Ergo. Enjoy!
I myself and still jealous of Amy's Dyson. Although the Bissell we got is pretty damn good!
Mark my words: Something big and scary is going to happen right before the election. Or, alternately, we're going to be miraculously saved from the TURRISTS and they will haul out Bin Laden's corpse.
Because according to Benazir Bhutto just before she died, Bin Laden is already dead. This is the uncensored version back to back with the censored one on the BBC.
Hmm.
HI TJ how talented of you!
I made a few clothes for mine, often strangely fitted sewn tubes lol
and thanks anon :)
I am just so happy to have an oven again after 8 weeks, I think I shall cook brownies too!
Thank you, 11:31. I do hope so, I really hope so.
Hey! Thanks for the song Charlie! :)
L, if I end up saying ANYTHING to her, it'll be on the evening news.
So yeah, assuming Canadian News gets picked up by CNN once in awhile, you'll see me. I'll wave to you.
-A
Hooowwls Hellooo everyone.
There is a fucking full moon tonight did ya know that?
I did. I stared at it for a while and thought the world is beautiful and fucked up at the same time. how can that be. Such a paradox.
Heard bad news about too many people. One guy is in a coma from a bike accident.
Another guys wife died 2 mths ago finds out today he has prostate cancer and on and on it goes.
People being laid off from work.
Companies (big business) not caring about people as human beings. Only what numbers looks like.
Do they know what a hungry child looks like or how people are affected by no health care? they dont care cause their bellies are full! Pigs.
Homes being foreclosed on at an astronomical rate. No relief or help in sight. Screw it.
Ya come here for some solace and some people cant even be decent to each other. I wish they would be.
Whatever.
No,I am not drunk. maybe I should be. I dont have anything in the house either!
I don't like people sometimes. Dont like when I get like that.
Its a fuckin full moon out there.
Thanks for the rant or whatever ya wanna call it.
thanks ergo! :)
emerald, i mourn your barbie's tragic accident.
for some reason, when i was younger, i had this odd habit of nibbling the toes off the dolls. all my older sisters' dolls had no tiptoes to stand tiptoe on.
:/
I think it will be a big enough event to warrent CNN, Amy!
We'll wave back at you and start collecting bail money.
Or should we start now?
well that piece of film is interesting!
Oh, this is great too. Also check out Outfoxed and watch the quick little trailers, especially the second one.
Bubblegum? You mean this bubblegum?
Ergo, jealous. I want a gas stove.
Teej, HIYA!
I wasn't allowed near the sewing kit after I spent my day inserting safety pins into the carpet, pin side out.
-A
my cousin would chew her barbie feet until they were like big flat misshapen flippers
HI BI
yep humans at time suck badly
Isn't it though, Ergo?
Hiya TJ! Sorry, I was ranting.
Incidentally the full moon is Friday.
I wasn't allowed near the sewing kit after I spent my day inserting safety pins into the carpet, pin side out.
Amy, why can I see you doing this?
for some reason, when i was younger, i had this odd habit of nibbling the toes off the dolls. all my older sisters' dolls had no tiptoes to stand tiptoe on.
TJ, not sure I can see this one...:)
Bush actually said that? Gee, and I thought we were against Communism *sarcasm*
Next Fidel Castro anyone? Hi TJ
L, nah. The bail will be HIGH, and I can't have y'all save that much for little old me.
Ask ergo if she has a recipe to bake a file in a cake though. Maybe something with plastic explosives?
Beloved Immortal, I'm sorry to hear about your run of bad luck. I hope it all resolves itself soon.
-A
Amy, Ergo is the MacGyver of the blog, so I'm sure she can whip up something to send you.
MacGyver of the blog
cute
Hello, ergo, Tj,Emerald, A,Anon(s)and anyone I may have missed.
Barbies huh. the feet did taste good when chewed on.
I hate to do this, but I am getting really tired adn starting to hurt, so I am going to go for the evening. I will be back soon, I seem to be doing a little better each day, and I am determined.
Goodnight family, take care of yourself.
Love you!
*dun dun dun dun dundun*
*mission impossible music*
*deeleedoo deeeeedleeedooo*
*dun dun dun DUN DUN!*
*presents amy with DIY escape from jail kit made from bandaids, toilet rolls, rubber bands and wombat claws*
Does anyone remember what movie this line is from?
Cool movie too.
"I have come to kickass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum!"
Think hard and show your age. haha
Mayo,
I first thought of a volcano when I read this post, and wildfires also come to mind. Ashes for eternity could be so many things.
For you Mayo, given with love. Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Everybody Hurts
by R.E.M
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
if you feel like letting go, (hold on)
when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.
Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)
goodnight L
sweet dreams
Emerald said...
I wasn't allowed near the sewing kit after I spent my day inserting safety pins into the carpet, pin side out.
Amy, why can I see you doing this?
You say that like I'm neurotic!
No, I'm kidding. I was just young and bored. Tired of all my toys and games, and I wasn't allowed to DO much as a child. I always had a fascination with my mother's craft kits, so I'd try to make them (ask me about cross stitching sometime), or just use them to wreck other things.
-A
bin laden is dead??? when??
ergo, new stove. yay! did ya do the happy dance? did ya? I know you did.
Hi Bi, sorry to hear about the bad news :(
Goodnight L!
*presents amy with DIY escape from jail kit made from bandaids, toilet rolls, rubber bands and wombat claws*
That's my Aussie MacGyver!
...
Um, how does it work?
-A
oh! good night l.
and hello to everyone who said hello -- i keep getting that "conflicting edits" page and losing my comments.
grrr.
A. it isnt MY bad luck. Too many terrible things happening to alot people at once. I dont know if its gonna get any better.Thats the part that gets me down. Thats all.
Hiya BC.
Goodnight L, sweet dreams. I'm glad you're starting to feel better
The moon is full enough now. Oh no! its gonna get worse? Hides until next week. just kidding. haha
That's happening to me too, TJ. O_o
11:48, according to Benazir Bhutto, right before she was assassinated, yes he is.
Think they'll cart him out right before the election? Hmm, I wonder if it will be something like that, or if we'll need another scare to keep us in line and make us want to vote for McCain.
have a good night and even better Thursday Emerald
SS,
You are always there, aren't you? You promised us you would be right by our side, and it's so good to see you peeking out from behind the tree every now and then. We are still here too. I made a promise that I intend to keep as well.
Take care of yourself, and sweet dreams to you.
I actually liked McCain until I read up a bit more. Abortion is my button issue, if you're trying to outlaw it, you ain't gonna get my vote, period. I don't care if you're running against Count Chocula.
maybe you and i keep trying to post at the exact same time kapunua! lol
ok, i'm going to post this now. wait and let me go first, 'kay? ;)
Remember Kapu, Shinra lost. I know you'll get it ;)
11:48, according to Benazir Bhutto, right before she was assassinated, yes he is.
Think they'll cart him out right before the election? Hmm, I wonder if it will be something like that, or if we'll need another scare to keep us in line and make us want to vote for McCain.
July 16, 2008 11:52 PM
K, didnt mean to intrude on a convo. You dont have to talk to me if ya dont want. I did want to say that I agree with alot of what you are saying pertaining to the political agenda of this current administration. Not everyone sees it. They dont want to deal with the truth.
I wouldn't put it past them at all.
I would not be duped into a scare vote. Some people would be and they know it.
Thats all.
ummmmm sorry amy may have to go back to the drawing board
*blush*
you know when I give myself theme music it reminds me of this sketch- The Surprising Adventures of Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
and yes, I do do it in real life, but generally not in public places
Anon @ 12:00. They want to dictate every aspect of our lives. the last time I looked they (congress,politicians) work for the people not themselves.
No more politic talk. Sorry again.
Zip locked lips said
nothing
Ergo said...
and yes, I do do it in real life, but generally not in public places
AAAAAnd, we now know a liiiiiiiiitle bit more about Ms. Proxy's private life than we may need to!
Hey chicklets, how's everyone? A little calmer in here tonight, I see.
I do get it, and I thank you; I appreciate the sentiment. Yes, ShinRa fell. So did the Empire, and Sauron etc.
But that's what's supposed to happen in fiction. In real life, people are too afraid of change and in real life, there has never been a country so young that has taken over so much so quickly. It's only been such a short period of time and it turned on a dime: The subjugation of an entire displaced people; the Rockefellers, the industrial revolution, the media and all its focuses and distractions; and finally control by fear.
But we are too comfy for a real revolution now, me especially, with my novels and my games and movies.
There are no monsters for me to beat up or reactors to explode; and the Crisis of the Planet is a slow, easily deniable one. And most of all I am not a beautiful warrior who can bring it all crashing down.
I'm just a 30-something with a big mouth, and I'm real tired right now.
I really do appreciate that sentiment though. :)
Hiya J! L was nice enough to let you out of the bathroom, I see. XD
I'm glad to see her around again. The herbals are really working, aren't they?
-A
Now what in the entire world of BlogBelieve would make you think I didn't want to talk to you? An odd assumption, don't you think? Thanks for agreeing with me though.
Welp, I really am tired and I need to go to bed.
Those novels await.
Oh, the name of the movie is "They Live" Sci fi flick.
If anyone gets a chance to watch it do so. You will get the political references they were making. Rowdy Roddy Piper was in it. I know its a "B" type movie but good message.
good night kapunua, and hello there j. :)
Kapu that was sad.....
Remember always you are the She wolf.
hello J!
well I have been known to be a bit shall we say ...eccentric?
Hey Amy! Uh, bathroom? Did I miss something?
And yeah, she's doing TONS better on the supplements. That Rx the dr gave her was almost toxic for her. She's down to one pill, 300 mg, a day, and just feels better with every dose she decreases.
And my dr upped my Prozac, YAY! Up to 80 mg a day from 40, I guess he thinks I should be, um, comfortably numb? Whatever. I don't want to be tense or angry or worried or sad or frazzled, like I've been for the past few months. God Bless Prozac! :D
Good night TJ, sweet dreams.
SWA if that is indeed you, thank you. :)
Hey Ergo! Ah yes, some call it 'eccentric', some call it 'lovable'. :D Congrats again on the stove!
Hey TJ, how're you feeling tonight?
Hello J
Ergo, arent extremely intelligent people called eccentric? :)
isn't the whole point of Fluoxetine not to numb you, just take the edge off the extreme?
and any one who doesn't watch Sir Digby Chicken Caesar I shall be forced to come after you!
i'm okay, j. starting to dislike this hyooooge bandage on my chest, but eh.
whatcha gonna do?
Hey BI! Did you have any punkin pie left?
12.22, I was making a joke. I'm quite familiar with what fluoxetine does for you; I've taken it for 14 years. It helps you gain perspective on things, gives you the opportunity to look at all sides of a situation. No numbing involved.
How'd you know I use the generic instead of the brand name BTW?
*with theme music!*
J you do what you have to do. sometimes your own bodies mechanisms just can't do the job
and fantastic on L cutting down so much, its so easy for docs to keep upping a dose without really thinking of alternatives
Good Night all. I am off to bed. I am tired. Have a good Thursday everyone.
I hate politics but was insightful tonight.
Ergo,enjoy your new stove. Bake a punkin pie!
Wendy. Good to read you earlier. Hope you have a good Thursday.
*Leaves strawberries and choco whipped cream where she will find it*
Triston missed ya again my fav Vamp. Behave yourself as I am sure you always do. ^_-
Hi J, how are you? *hugs*
good night beloved imortal. watch out for that moon!
I have some of that in my cabinet, still scared to take it. Just keep using other stuff that's probably even worse for me.
Teej, when can you take the bandage off?
And when it comes off, and they tell you it's nothing, you should get a tattoo. Like The White Violin.
-A
goodnight B
Here's the thing that bothered me the most, Ergo. Despite her telling this fool that the gabapentin doesn't help her at all, he kept upping the dosage, saying "Well, we have to try the higher doses before we can try something else." No he doesn't HAVE to. I think he's just lazy about medications. He actually wanted her, on last visit, to up her dose to 2400 mg a day! We looked it up on WebMD, and found that the recommended max dose is 1800 mg. So, a flag went up right there.
TJ, I know! The worst part is the tape they use to keep the bandage on. After every eye surgery, I've had to wear a patch/shield over that eye at night for 2 weeks. The tape made my skin red and raw, and was miserable. Yuck.
lol amyranth. that would look very ridiculous on me.
but i can take the bandage off friday. i don't even know what my scar is gonna look like yet.
Goodnight BI, see you later.
Anon, sorry if I sounded a little pissy back there. I get a tad defensive when questioned about my Prozac. Some folks still have the idea that it's worse for you than not taking it, and they become sort of ugly about it. My apologies if I came off sounding angry.
BC! *hugs* Wha's up, my girl?
yeah, j. the tape is supposed to be hypo-allergenic, but pffft.
when i had my porta-cath put in 'way back for treatment, the tape made my skin break out. i finally had to use an adhesive paper.
J, even though I do not suffer from clinical depression, I am familiar with the medications through someone that does.
I'm glad it assists you J. Lots of people trivialize it and equate it with a happy pill, but it is not.
If you suffer the illness, you are more likely to feel any form of stress much more acutely, which triggers the anxiety.
*heehee*
i just herded a spider out of the main pathway in and out of the room. i kept gently blowing on it. :)
it's a handsome one too.
i didn't want to step on it accidentally. but now i think it's a bit annoyed.
*grin*
J it is a good thing you looked into it rather than meekly obeying (lol like that's your nature!)
thanks BI sweet dreams!
TJ remember my Sicilian aunt says rub it with fresh egg tomato, heck, can't hurt and you may attract a suave italian fella!
Nothing much J, just a bit sore and tired from some swimming excercizes.
Teej, why are you annoying the spider?
-A
And, um, that Vanya costume could be really easy or really hard, depending on how much work you'd want to do.
-A
thanks for the tip, ergo. :)
i wasn't annoying it, amyranth! i was rescuing it. it just didn't see it that way.
*looks over the edge of the desk*
and now it found itself a little nook to crouch in. :)
and um...re: costume? i like a cosplay outfit with a bit more...er, well...fabric, tbh!
12.42, yes, you're right. On any given day, I don't give the depression a second thought. It's just there in the background; I don't even think of it as a "mental illness".
Plus, having diabetes and my several other health problems adds to the overall stress levels. Stress triggers the depression/anger/despair, and that in turn affects the diabetes in particular. Then add any stray problems like sinus infections, stomach troubles, etc, and I'm a real laugh-riot. :P
Ergo! Are you trying to tell me you think I'm *gasp* opinionated? OH NOOOOOOOOO! I had no clue. Gosh, I'll have to work on that. ;)
TJ, that tape will hurt more than the incision, after a while! I do not like first-aid tape. And it does not like me.
Oh yeah, BC, I remember reading last night you were going swimming. Are you doing water aerobics, or just plain ol' swimming? I never did learn how to swim, but I like floating/bobbing in the pool. Every once in a while. I prefer walking for exercise.
Thought I'd try the t'ai chi when L decides to start her exercises with the DVD.
J if you can aqua aerobics is fantastic for people who may not be able to exercise well otherwise, in warmer water and the buoyancy really keeps stress off joints and reduces pain
maybe L could try that?
tai chi is a great exercise, j. and with two of you, you can practice the push hands form, which is a lot of fun. :)
TJ how big was the spider?
J, when I go swimming, I try to make sure to do a few sets of laps, and maybe some butterfly strokes. I also read that walking is good excercise, even if it's more difficult in the water.
Floating is relaxing too :)
J, I don't see the person as "ill".
I only see it as a particular vulnerability that you are born with. The sensitivity to stress.
That's why you need to manage it, and the stress in your life, or else you do get ill.
LOL, me too! It would probably look better as a bodysuit than a thong, with some pasties and black and white paint.
-A
My mother is manic depressive, and I've never thought of her as crazy. Heck, even my Dad was afflicted with mild depression after he found out he had Chronic Pain.
When they started treating the depression, the pain went away pretty quick though, thank god.
-A
your nervous system is just like any other part of your body
people just think of it differently as it's memory and personality and thought etc, It can have problems just like anything else, and I say thank goodness there are medications that can help
Anon, that's a really interesting way to think of it. It's never occurred to me to look at it that way. I don't see it as an illness either, I've always thought of it as a chemical imbalance. Oddly enough, I have more than that one c.i. One of the meds I take for my diabetes management, Symlin, replaces the chemical in your brain that tells your stomach that you're full. I lack enough of that chemical, and the Symlin makes up for it.
Ergo, L loves to swim, and it helps her to do gentle laps in the pool. She's done that for years on her own. Haven't looked into water aerobics yet, but we'll probably scope out the classes.
TJ, most things are more fun with two! *knowing look, wicked grin*
Amy, wha?
ergo, the spider was about, um...maybe almost an inch, taking in account it's whole footprint.
Vanya from TUA, J.
I'm not taking a new job as a stripper.
-A
TJ that's ok I was picturing you blowing on some giant tarantula to get it to move!!
I didn't know how you could get your face that close!!
Prozac basically saved my life. My depression manifests itself as anger, almost rage. Being in that state all the time was fucking up my blood sugars so very badly. And just being angry stresses you out; it's heinously tiring, both physically and mentally.
Now I very rarely become angry at anything. Except, well, Mom. And Vultures. And lousy doctors.
See, now I KNOW I needed to increase the dosage! :)
Well, Amy, I suppose that's always an option if the chocolate factory thing doesn't work out.
One word: Oompaloompas.
BTW, TJ, have you heard from Elena today? She called us earlier, and I called her back about two and a half hours ago. Everything ok there? Do you know?
New show: TJ the Spider Saver.
(Not as catchy as the title I first thought of, but far less obscene: TJ the Spider Blower!)
In case anyone's wondering where I'm at, I'm watching dracula 2000, so I'll be going in and out
Not enough Ooompaloompas to keep me from working with chocolate all day long.
-A
It must have been very scary and exhausting to have felt that way most of the time J.
I have seen someone suffer in a similar way and you feel terrified for them and at the same time confused by the rigid thinking.
A, working with chocolate would totally be my dream job ^_^
i love animals, but not that much j.!
ergo, if there had been a spider that large, i think i would have placed a very big mixing bowl over it and let it stay in jail for the night.
elena and i were texting earlier today, but the last i heard from her was around 3 pm. she seemed fine, just not wanting to be at the bookstore...i hope she's okay.
Anon, looking back on it, it WAS scary. At the time I didn't really notice it, you know? It was just...how I was. I thought other people were too sensitive when I said ugly things. Now, after some time, distance, and meds, I know that I was, if you'll pardon the expression, a bitch on wheels. ;)
But it IS scary to realize I could easily have had a stroke with all that anger inside me. I've had to sacrifice my short-term memory, but I feel so much better. Hell, I can MAKE lists; I wasn't ABLE to make myself happy.
If it might help, you can tell your friend about my experience with anti-depressants, I don't mind. I can tell you this, too: until the sufferer acknowledges their problem, not much you say will get through. I'm sure you know that already. :/ Sorry to hear about them. What kinds of symptoms does your friend have?
Ok, TJ, thanks. I'm not worried about her per se, just wondering. Maybe she's having to tend to Mr Elena. Or one of the girls had an issue.
Amy, BC, the only danger I can see with working around chocolate all day would be becoming really, really tired of it. Like working at a fast-food place, and then never wanting to eat that food again. But, I'm also the eternal optimist: you could conquer that problem because, well, it's chocolate.
TJ, forgot: I'm so very glad to hear about the, uh, well, spider not-blowing. :P See, the other one WAS better!
Total blind blogging. ;)
I have missed a lot; sorry to creep in...just wanted to say hi to everyone and I hope to catch up soon. I miss all of you.
once again, it's long past the time i properly ought to be in bed. but before i go, i wanted to share a couple of poems i found tonight -- waking up to poetry, and then the henry rollins poem, well...it sent me on a poetry binge tonight. :)
the first spoke to me as intimately as the rollins poem:
The Layers
by Stanley Kunitz
I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
"Live in the layers,
not on the litter."
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.
and the second one just made me grin. :)
Your Catfish Friend
by Richard Brautigan
If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."
*hee* ♥
good night everyone. see you tomorrow. :)
anima! *major glompage*
:)
good to see you, even if only for a moment. be well, yes? *hugs*
Hiya Anima!
I hope you and your family are doing well, see you again soon!
-A
Mayo, my friend, I just read this post...per the usual I need to re-read. It could mean so many things. That is why you fuck with me so. Will I ever get it? Probably not. All I hope is that you are all good. I wish that for everyone here.
Goodnight to all of you. Sweet and happy dreams. Again, I hope to hang out really soon.
I'm off for the night. Gonna finish watching the movie. Goodnight guys, sweet dreams
Thank you TJ and Amyranth! Family is doing a-okay. Well, maybe not so much, but no worries. It's all good.
Goodnight.
♥ to both of you.
Goodnight BC and Teej!
-A
She tends to be a bit over sensitive and obsessive. Very driven, almost compulsively.
From what I remember, because she felt so aware of everything, you feel like almost walking on eggshells.
Now I know, that would be one of the first signs to be aware of. Extreme sensitivity. That's the sign of a relapse.
Hi Anima, bye Anima! Here's some hugs and kisses for both you and your daddy.
*HUGS*
*KISSES*
Good to see you, even briefly. Take care, come back when you can. If L or I can do anything for you, please let us know. :)
Love you.
TJ, I really like that first poem. And I've actually read the Brautigan one before; it invokes a sort of misty, "aww" feeling in me. Thanks for sharing those. Goodnight, sleep well. *hugs*
That's true J, but who would ever be tired of chocolate? :p
She tends to be a bit over sensitive and obsessive. Very driven, almost compulsively.
Before my mom started her treatment, she was like that too. It seemed like if she couldn't control her emotions, and how she felt inside her head, she would have a chokehold on everything else in the household and in mine and my father's lives.
-A
Goodnight guys. Goodnight Anima ♥
♥ to all of you
And I think that is essentially what clinical depression is - the brain's inability to properly control emotions.
And I think the person who has it must suffer terribly.
I would liken it to being bombarded with all these things, and not having the ability to cope.
Goodnight BC, have a good rest. *hugs*
Anon, hindsight is exact, isn't it? Yeah, any sign of the original symptoms signals a relapse, and possibly a med change (meds or dosage). Assuming she takes meds, that is. If not, she more than likely should.
Paranoia is also indicative of a relapse. I inherited my depression from--guess who?--my mother. She's terribly paranoid. She, however, would sooner have her eyes plucked out with a shrimp fork than admit she's depressed, let alone take meds!
thank you j. :)
Mayo (aka your real name), I've said this before but I want to mention it once again, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here. No worries at all...maybe offer a bit of advice from a different perspective. We are friends right? ;) I have trouble answering that question too. Well, whatever, if you ever need me, I am right here and I have plenty to share.
Now I am babbling....
Night to all of you. I hope to catch up soon.
♥
for fun...
Anonymous said...
And I think that is essentially what clinical depression is - the brain's inability to properly control emotions.
And I think the person who has it must suffer terribly.
I would liken it to being bombarded with all these things, and not having the ability to cope.
July 17, 2008 2:10 AM
Exactly. Let me try to explain it this way:
Imagine you're in a crowded area, like a restaurant. You hear all these other people talking, but not everything they're saying. Then add the background music, the clink of dishes/silverware, your dinner companion talking to you, the waiter making frequent stops at your table, and then your own thoughts. Too much stimuli. And it frightens you, it angers you, it feels like all of that is demanding your attention, all at the same time.
Now imagine that feeling 24 hours a day.
mayo,
if the day was bracketed by poetry, the meat of it was music and dreams.
yesterday i came home from the hospital, and got on the blog, then called elena (and we talked for two hours, and it was fantastic and fun). then i intended to nap, but alas, i ended up on the blog again.
in other words, i went against doctor's orders. *grin*
so today i was careful and good and obedient, and slept when my body said "sleep", and in all other ways allowed myself to be the convalescent that i supposedly am.
in between naptimes, i did little tasks in my room, and read, and dabbled at writing poetry (poorly), and listened to music. to the live cd of tbpid, actually.
just left it on, all day. and when i slept, it wove in and out of my dreams, until sometimes i wasn't sure if i was awake or not, and to measure how many hours had passed i tallied up how many times i had heard "famous last words".
in other words, i added my own medicine to the list prescribed by the doctor.
i'm feeling better already. *grin*
my focus is on little things, immediate things. all the unknowns that assail me, i am simply ducking away from, i have to. i can't worry about them right now. i can't try to figure out everything, can't try to catch every clue. the puzzle has to lay on the table untended for awhile.
right now, i'm just...drifting.
and i'm hoping that everything that is a mystery to me today will turn out just fine, someday, in some tomorrow, near or far.
i'm deciding to trust that it will.
good night to you, mayo. i hope there's space in your life for trusting and restful days, too.
as always: sweet dreams, my friend.
Anon, indeed.
I have been daubed with a bit of depression myself lately, and I used to think the old tagline of "Feeling hopeless, helpless, lost, unable to get out of bed" was a load of hooey, mostly because I saw my mother when she was ill and when she got better, and she wasn't like that.
And then it hit me recently, because of my job, money, and other stresses in my life, and WOW. It's nothing I'd ever wish on anyone.
I realized that something was up when I was at the grocery store one day, and I had this horrible feeling. I couldn't stand still, I couldn't walk. I didn't want people to look at me, but I wanted to be left alone. My boyfriend was re-reading the grocery list, and I busied myself with grabbing things from a nearby shelf to throw in the cart. He asked me what I was doing and I looked at the box of Corn Pops in my hand and started crying.
Things have gotten better, but they haven't. I can't even will myself out of bed some mornings, I tell myself "Come on, today won't be as bad, let's go." and my body just... does nothing. It's kind of terrifying.
I'm going to try quitting my job first, take a week off to get myself back together, and hopefully I'll be alright. But if I'm still having the same problems after a break I'm going to have to see a doctor.
-A
So, am I the only one who has experienced a out of stupid Baby Envy?
-A
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