Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Up To The Ground.

Those hills breathe fire
And exhale into the stream
Billows of crackled frames
Mixed with the amassed sordid matter
Of a thousand million leaves
Pelf, from pandered promise
Settles into the hollows
Filling the rift with futile night
They will brush ash from their soles
For an eternity after having been told
Better to swallow holes than believe
What was struck, no longer stands




p.s. and so it went.

5,145 comments:

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Anonymous said...

ERIC

sdock10 said...

Oh, me too Star. I'm a flailer. Is that a word?

Ergo,

Sing a little of that for me. I think I forgot that one.

sdock10 said...

Lucy Lu is made of WIN!

sdock10 said...

Lucy,

Are you kidding me? We would so rock the karaoke. I do a really badass version of Reba McEntire's "Fancy" too! Yeehaw!

resurrected wreck said...

Rumour has it that MCR are playing a private gig for Frances Bean Cobain's sweet 16th birthday party next month.

What do we think, true or bunk?

Anonymous said...

Is this it?

Hot & cold emotions confusing my brain
I could not decide between pleasure & pain
Like a tramp in the night
I was begging you
To treat my body like you wanted to

Anonymous said...

I'm getting to be a dab hand at this top spot malarky. Although each time I get it when I'm page claiming on behalf of someone else so maybe that's why...

I'd love to have a karoke night with you girls. 'It would be way sweet' /gerard

Smok I always do the dramatic hand gestures and arm movements when I sing in the car. I have no shame, I carry on even when I'm sitting at a red traffic light and the people in the next lane are giving me the wtf look.

Fimble Star said...

Hey everyone, just caught up, wowee and a very big SIGH. oh well, you cant assume everyone has sense in their noggin.

so, i am off out tonight so i am not staying long, so have a nice night and i will get back to everyone tomorrow, promise :)


Mayo
Did you know that if you signed up to T_Mobile, you get 'fav fives'. That way, you will be able to talk to your mate via telephone for FREE and even send him text messeges for FREE. How cool is that, i have just added solly as one of my fav fives so i think that is the way to roll. I really do think you will benefit it more and you will know you are talking to the correct mate. seriosuly think about it dude, you wouldnt want to waste all those 'precious' words on some you deemed as misunderstood?

SS
Same goes for you, but you wouldnt want to get them misused for people with lunacy issues. I think that the 'fav fives' is the way to go :)
Oh and that was truely lovely what you did for my friend. i am sure she will love it :)

have a nice night everyone, have fun :)

sdock10 said...

I can't remember that song! That's probably not a bad thing.

Didn't she sing Nasty too?

ergoproxy said...

♪♫

Touch me touch me
I wanna feel your body
your heart beat next to mine
(this is the night)
touch me touch me now
♫♪

and we've had Kocomo and Eye of the Tiger
(which has the line "stalks his prey in the night, which I thought was "pumps his spray in the night", like marking territory - *duh*)

resurrected wreck said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GS!!!!!!!! ^_^

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is, Anon@6:32!
I was confusing Touch Me with I Wanna Have Some Fun, which is a different song, right?

sdock10 said...

Fimble,

You rock my world. I can't wait to rock O-town with you and the Princess. We are going to rule the Florida night.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi & bye, Fimmy :)

sdock10 said...

Samantha Fox, God Bless her. The eighties Britney.

Anonymous said...

Good evening RW!
Love you, Fimbelina!

resurrected wreck said...

Hullo, Star! :D

I haven't seen you in, like, ages!

ergoproxy said...

anon that's the one!

awesome 80's dancing and all, including cheeky little bum rip in the jeans)


hello Fim, struth! how are you?

congrats lucy!

and I'm a total car diva! I get some strange looks, but best was when a guy in the car in front of me at lights, who was rocking out, and I realised we were listening to the same song, and kinda had a duo car dancing moment!

sdock10 said...

Hiya RW,

Whatchoo doin?

ergoproxy said...

gotta go Uptown Girl needs dancing!

Anonymous said...

The boy I liked in 7th grade had a poster of Samantha Fox on the back of his bedroom door. Make of that what you will!

Smoke said...

Wait, what? I'm not in your Fave Five, Fimble?

>_<

For shame.

If I had feelings they would be so hurt right now. ^_~

You best be adding me, you meffer.


Oh! And talking about riding and singing. OMG. I used to do a badass Mariah Carey. Or at least I thought I did. The whole high-pitched thingy. Yeah. Okay, so maybe not so much.

I can do a really good Miranda Lambert though.

And a pretty good Sheryl Crow. :)

I ain't heard from you in three damn nights!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, RW, I was zoned out on hydrocodone with that evil throat infection thing I had, then regular school ended, then summer school started, so I have been high and busy.

How are you?

ergoproxy said...

I had 2 girlfriends and if we ever drove together our songs were RESPECT and I Am Woman

Smoke said...

RW! Whatchoo buy me today?

sdock10 said...

Ann Wilson is a lot of fun to sing too.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi Solly :D

I iz huffin' and puffin' as I just got in from walking home in the heat. Whatchoo doin'?

Hi S&V, EP, Lucy ^_^

resurrected wreck said...

So... MCR playing a private show for Frances Bean Cobain's sweet 16.

True or not?

ergoproxy said...

VENUS!!!!

c'mon girls you know the words and the moves!!!

I'm your venus *jump*
I'm your fire *hand wavey flame thing*
At your desire*and point*

Smoke said...

It wouldn't do for me to be able to really sing. Nope.

sdock10 said...

I iz cleanin up my emails.


I dunno if that's true or not, RW. Wouldn't surprise me.

resurrected wreck said...

Sucks about the throat infection, Star :( How are you now?

I'm good, well rested and back at work. However, just when I thought we were done with the work-place drama (the two crazy employees are not back this year), one of my co-workers is in the middle of a stressful split with her husband and sits at out work table sewing & crying all day. ALL DAY.

Smoke said...

I loved Bananarama! Or however it's spelled. I thought they were so cool. :)

RW,

I dunno 'bout that one yet. Hmmmm.....

ergoproxy said...

OH MY GOD!
Def Leppard and Cheap Trick are touring!!!!


hi RW :)

Anonymous said...

Hear us RAWR!

resurrected wreck said...

I looked up Leathermouth's tour dates, S&V, and they don't start til Aug. 20th (Frances Bean's b-day is Aug. 18th), so I guess it wa spossible. I don't know though, I didn't think MCR were close to Courtney Love.

resurrected wreck said...

VENUS!!!!

That was one of my favourite costume videos when I was a teen!

Anonymous said...

I'm better, RW, thanks for asking!

I can also do some mean renditions of Blondie tunes, especially Picture This, which is one of my all time favorite songs.

resurrected wreck said...

Viking kitties, you skeered me! O_o

resurrected wreck said...

Hey, guess what I bought today?

Er... not for you, S&V, sorry :/

Smoke said...

Viking kitties! What are you doing? O_O

RW,

Our date is August 20th! YAYNESS! I CAN'T WAIT! :)

resurrected wreck said...

Yours is the first stop on their tour, S&V! :)

Smoke said...

Hey, guess what I bought today?

Er... not for you, S&V, sorry :/


>_<

Sorry. I did not even comprehend that last statement.

sdock10 said...

Star,

Picture This, I loved it when I was a kid. Parallel Lines was one of the first records that I remember buying for myself.

Smoke said...

I know, right? EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!

It's gonna be soooo much fun.

Solly, Fimble and myself are gonna take over Orlando. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Hi RW! I know Courtney and Frances Bean hung out with the band at Bamboozle. Gerard also mentioned summat on stage at Bamboozle about how Frances had asked him what the next album would sound like and he said they hadn't decided yet but joked (I hope) that it would most likely 'cowboy jams.' 0_o

resurrected wreck said...

I gotchoo an ice cream sammich yesterday, S&V, and it is sitting in my freezer just waiting for you to eats it!

resurrected wreck said...

Gerard also mentioned summat on stage at Bamboozle about how Frances had asked him what the next album would sound like and he said they hadn't decided yet but joked (I hope) that it would most likely 'cowboy jams.' 0_o

Welcome to the Black Ho Down! Yee-ha! ;)

Anonymous said...

Gotta go or I will turn into a pumpkin.*

Night night everyone!











*Pumpkin pie motherfucker.

Smoke said...

Yayness! I love ice cream sammiches! :)

Smoke said...

Night Lucy! Sweet dreams!

resurrected wreck said...

Have a good night, Lucy :)

Anonymous said...

Solly,
Parallel Lines was one of my first too, and it is still an amazing album.

Debbie Harry baby sat my brothers in law! How cool is that? I have a picture of my husband sitting on her lap when he was 6 or 7 years old.

resurrected wreck said...

So guess what I bought today, S&V! Guess!

sdock10 said...

Wow, Star. Debbie Harry as a babysitter. That's pretty meffin' awesome.

Anonymous said...

Why do you care so much?

You hate them.

You brought it up twice.

Smoke said...

Ummm, shoes? ^__^

resurrected wreck said...

Not shoes. Still looking for the perfect spectator shoes, haven't found them yet :/

I got some material to make curtains for where I'm going to hang up my Mikey mask & those great band photos that came with the special edition of The Black Parade CD. It's going to be a Black Parade memorial of sorts. The fabric is perfect - black taffeta with gold embroidered Fleur de Lis on it.

sdock10 said...

Say, huh?

ergoproxy said...

bye Lucy


wow Debbie Harry that is awesome!

resurrected wreck said...

Got to paint my wall first though, S&V, before I set everything up. Right now the wall is baby-poo brown >_<

Smoke said...

Oooh! RW that is going to be so awesome! You'll have to take a pic!

resurrected wreck said...

Will do :)

resurrected wreck said...

Got to shower, back in a bit...

Smoke said...

I just got through listening to Hank Jr sing Blues Man.

I iz sad now. :(

sdock10 said...

I'm sad too. I dunno. Tonight just sucks.

Smoke said...

Now I'm listening to Marty Stuart.

Wahahahah!

sdock10 said...

WTF is up with your blue blogger name?

Smoke said...

Does my name look funny?

Smoke said...

I just noticed that!?!??! WTF?

O_O

Smoke said...

Who the hell is Smoke & Amp Venom 20?

sdock10 said...

Bwhahaah, what did you do?

sdock10 said...

I am laughing so hard.

Smoke said...

I don't know!

Smoke said...

OMG! MAKE IT STOP!

sdock10 said...

You gotta go to your profile and fix it.

Smoke said...

MAYO! Quit effin' with my name!

ergoproxy said...

eek smoke your name haz been hijacked by Viking kitties!

Smoke said...

I DID! AND IT WON'T FIX IT!!!

Smoke said...

BLOGGER IS AFFLICTED WITH SMAW POESE!

Smoke said...

I HATE BLOGGER!

Smoke said...

>_<

resurrected wreck said...

Back :)

Smoke, why'z you gots an "amp" in your name?

Anonymous said...

Smoke, I saw it and I thought, okay cool, "amp"!

Smoke said...

Cuz Blogger is a big ol'botch. >_<

Smoke said...

And that would mean you Mayo because you are Blogger.

It's not recognizing the & symbol anymore. O_O

ergoproxy said...

Watt?

she has an amp?

must be something current
I'm positive she feels quite negative about it.
perhaps blogger had a short circuit?

resurrected wreck said...

Do you need amps? Are you going on tour with Leathermouth?

ergoproxy said...

*falls about laughing at her own joke*

Smoke said...

OMG! It's effed up all the way from the beginning. Any post you look at my name now has an 'amp' in it.

Wahahahaha!

resurrected wreck said...

EP, you iz silly!

resurrected wreck said...

Blogger obviously does not realize you are the Princess and should not be treated thusly!

sdock10 said...

OMG, I'm still laughing so hard. This is so funny.

I'm off for a bath now.

Later!

Anonymous said...

Okay, I just realized "amp" was short for ampersand. I was thinking Marshall amp.
Ahahaha.
No more allergy medication for me tonight.

resurrected wreck said...

Have a good baff, Solly :)

Anonymous said...

It is the symbols.

Smoke said...

:(

This effin' sucks.

I DON'T LIKE IT, MAYO! I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL!

(And if Mustard were here, I know she'd be laughing her ass off at me!)

Smoke said...

Is it all of them Anon?

Smoke said...

I think this one works.

Anonymous said...

S&V20 said...



Even when you didn't sign in!

resurrected wreck said...

It's just your symbol, S&V. Blogger just doesn't like yours!

ergoproxy said...

smoke mustard should have like a batman symbol to call her to the blog, she'd love this!

Anonymous said...

Hey! Well it had amp in it before I sumbitted. You can see it on the last page.

Smoke said...

It works in the comment box though. Now that is effed up.

ergoproxy said...

* doesn't quite have the same impact does it?

ergoproxy said...

off for my walk back later

bye!

Smoke said...

It doesn't.

*starts to whimper*

I'm ruined. I feel like someone has stolen my tiara.

Smoke said...

Bye Ergo!

resurrected wreck said...

Bye, EP :)

JocelynHolly said...

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GNOTHI! ^_^ I'm watching you sweetie.

<33

Second, thanks to everyone for the comments of help and concern. I appreciate it very much, to the moon and back.

THIRD; Mayo, this post kind of screams destruction. Well, when I read it, I thought "Shit, dude, what's going on?" Haha, I'm just confused as fuck. But nice to read a new post. Nice to know your still around.

As always, I'm thinking of you all. Tonight, my friend is spending the night. We're going to get coffee at a local coffee shop, then back to my house for a night of Sour Puss and laughter. Tomorrow we head off for a day at the beach, then to her house for the night. THEN, Friday is the big day! I'm scared as fuck for my piercing.

I hope to come around soon. I'll post some pictures after I get the new face jewelery.

Remember, stay strong guys.

xoxo;
- 007
<3

Nobody said...

hey, i've been following this blog for a while but i never got around to posting on here so here it goes, hey what's up?

Smoke said...

PH!!!!!!

RAAWWWRRR!!!

You are such a strong girl, PH. You amaze me. Have fun and stay out of trouble! ^_^

JocelynHolly said...

Silence dogood, RAWR. Glad you've decided to comment. ^_^

Welcome to the blog of insanity. Kidding. But stick around, and you'll talk to some pretty wicked people.

Smoke said...

Well, hello there Silence Dogood.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, PH! :D

Nobody said...

thanks paperheartxx i was kind of afraid to comment here because i was afraid you guys wouldn't like me.

JocelynHolly said...

Princess! Your name looks different! I promise you that I will stay out of trouble. Haha, last time we hung out though, we trespassed on property, threw a tire in the creek, tried to steal a stop sign, and were messed on energy drinks.

I promise to be a good girl tonight! ^_-

RAAWR *hug*

Nobody said...

hi Smoke*Venom20

Smoke said...

I'm in the middle of a name crisis here. Blogger has decided to eff up my & symbol. >_<

JocelynHolly said...

Hey RW! *hug* How goes it?

SDG, naah. I'm sure we'll all get along with you fine. ^_^

JocelynHolly said...

Why would they do that to you S&V? You're the Princess of BB!

I'm off to see the wizard.

..

Actually, I'm off to get ready for the night.

Have a good night everyone!!

xoxox;
- 007
<3

Smoke said...

Bye PH! :)

Smoke said...

So, SDG, how long have you been reading Mayo?

Nobody said...

pretty much since the first post.

Anonymous said...

Hey silence dogood. How are you?

Smoke said...

Cool. And you've just now decided to comment? Gosh, that's a long time. O_O

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, Silence :)

Nobody said...

i'm fine star, what about you,

S&V, i know I probably missed out on a lot

Nobody said...

hi resurrected wreck, what's up?

Smoke said...

Better late than never, right? ^_^

Well, I gotta go for a bit. I'll be back later.

Nice to meet you, SDG.

Anonymous said...

Silence Dogood, is there a name similar to yours?

Nobody said...

i don't really know all of you guys because I never really read the comments I just read the blog and then somewhere along the lines I forget about the blog because I was having some problems at home and Mayo stopped posting for long periods of time.

Anonymous said...

I'm good, SDG.

Nobody said...

I am not sure what you mean anon?

Anonymous said...

Testing you out.

Anonymous said...

You didn't "read the comments". Okay.

Nobody said...

is that a bad thing? i read them a few times but i didn't read them every post.

resurrected wreck said...

I'm well, thanks, Silence :)

How was your day?

Nobody said...

my day started out okay, it turned kind of bad. It's a really long story.

so how was your day, resurrected wreck? I hope it was better than mine.

resurrected wreck said...

Apart form my weepy co-worker, it was fine.

Nobody said...

well that's good besides the whole weepy coworker. I'm not trying to invade into personal stuff but what's wrong with your coworker?

Anonymous said...

This place pretty much amazes me, possibly in the best way ever.

It's really weird, or maybe weird-cool is better, that with one or two or maybe a whole page full of words, it's like the equivalent of a pat on the back or a high five or a really tight hug or a super strong shoulder in real life, with just a few itty bitty words and some thought.

It completely amazes me.


MissT,
That was so special what you said, and the courage you displayed while having to do what you did, it's just, I'm sure that was really hard, you know? I hope you find some peace and happiness on your trip. Eric will definitely be in my thoughts.


SS,
Thank you, yet again, for the kindness and thought you show to everyone here by choosing to honor and remember one person, two now, in an utterly fantastic way. I'm sure it will mean so much to MissT, and I know that it means a lot to us. So, thank you.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, Mustard! :)

resurrected wreck said...

My co-worker is breaking up with her husband of 10 years, Silence. She's been crying all day every day for two weeks now.I totally understand how upset she is, but she isn't doing herself any good stressing it at work. She should take some time off to get it sorted, talk to family, maybe see a therapist. Work isn't the place for it.

sdock10 said...

Hi Mustard, RW, SDG, Anon(s), Mayo, SS, Watchers, Lurkers, Believers, Non-believers, and pretty much everyone else!

I'm a little loose tonight!

What've I missed?

Anonymous said...

BWUAHAHAHA!

Smoke fucked Blogger up.


FASC and Smoke are officially in the running for Greatest Blogger Fuck Up Eveeeeer.

Nobody said...

I have to go but thanks for being as nice as you guys were.

hope you guys have a good night.

Catch ya later.

sdock10 said...

Mustard,

I was laughing so hard I was crying. Blogger has Smaw Poese. It totally rocks, right?

I don't want Mayo to fix it. I like to watch Smoke lose composure. I just pop some popcorn, pull up a chair, and watch the show.

Anonymous said...

MUSSSSTARD!
How are ya?

resurrected wreck said...

Night, Silence :)

Mustard... did I miss somehting with "Eric" & SS?

sdock10 said...

RW,

SS put ERIC up on the bottom of his page.

Nobody said...

oh before i go, hi Sdock10

and i know how you feel resurrected wreck my mom kept calling me up crying about how uspet she is that my dad died. It happened when I was so young. think she should get over it, but I think she needs professional help, it's been so long and she can't let go, but I do sympathize with her, i mean I'll never know my father, I heard he was really cool too that he knew a lot of punk rock bands from the 1970s so I got really upset that she kept reminding me.

Nobody said...

night everyone =)

resurrected wreck said...

Oh!

I see it now. How did I miss that! >_<

Anonymous said...

STAR!!!

Hey!



Sdock,
It was so funny to read, because I could see Smoke fuming and doing MissT's move when computer 'sploded.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, Solly! :D

Didju have a good baff? Was Barbie involved?

Anonymous said...

Sdock has you covered, RW! :)


And just want to say, Sdock, I really want to thank you again. It really meant a lot to me what you said.

sdock10 said...

I did, RW, but no Barbies.

Mustard, It was so fucking funny. She was on the phone with me all whining and stuff and all I could do was laugh.


Bye, SDG! Have a great evening!

sdock10 said...

Mustard,

And I'll have you know that every word is true.

I will beat you over the head with rhythm sticks.

Totally!

:)


Anyone wanna AIM?

Smoke said...

I don't want Mayo to fix it. I like to watch Smoke lose composure. I just pop some popcorn, pull up a chair, and watch the show.

That is just soooo wrong.

I fucking hate Blogger. >_<

resurrected wreck said...

I will, Solly, but I can't stay on for long. it's my bed time soon.

ergoproxy said...

hi silence dogood sorry I missed you


oh did SS do that? how nice of him!

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone. Just wanted to say happy belated birthday to GS

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, BC :)

*squeeze*

Anonymous said...

Hi guys.

I've been breaking arms with my crotch for a few hours.

Be back in about an hour or so!

Anonymous said...

366 whoop whoop!

Anonymous said...

Now I also want

Anonymous said...

Please~!

Anonymous said...

YEAH, I got it!

369, damn she fine! ;)

Later guys!

Anonymous said...

Hi RW *big squeeze* how are you?

ergoproxy said...

hI mustard
hi BC

K hope you've washed it

resurrected wreck said...

Hi & bye, K :)

resurrected wreck said...

I'm quite well, thank you, BC :)

How are you today?

Anonymous said...

Hiya Ergo. I shall be back later. I'm a bit sore from swimming excessively. Take care guys.

Anonymous said...

This song reminds me of Gerard, and also of Frank.




A Permanent Scar


Watched from the sidelines
Couldn’t make out the man
Who pulled up beside you
Set of keys in his hand
Black Cadillac, accented with gold
Or so he said, so you signed, it was sold
That gold is plated, paints already faded
Windows so tinted I can’t see you at all
I know you’re in there
Can’t hide from me
I know where you’re headed
He left a map on the seat

If you’re so determined to drive it to your grave
Then let me ride shotgun, maybe somehow I’ll save

That image of you
Lost in my head
The last kiss you gave me
Before you gave us up for dead
Still burning my lips
A permanent scar
So why am I riding
Straight to Hell in this car

A fight for the wheel
Climb over the brake
Don’t do this to us
Don’t make this mistake
Just let go (Let go)
Lose control
One more kiss (One kiss)
To save your soul

If you’re so determined to drive it to your grave
Then let me ride shotgun, maybe somehow I’ll save

That image of you
Lost in my head
The last kiss you gave me
The things that you said
Still burning on my lips
A permanent scar
I’ll ride with you
Through any Hell in this car

I’ll ride with you
Outrun the Devil’s gold car
We’re not wrong
We’re just a permanent scar

Anonymous said...

That's good RW. I'm good, just got back from swimming and eating out. I hurt my knee a bit though. If I don't see you when I get back, goodnight and sweet dreams :)

Anonymous said...

I am tired of whispers. I think I'll scream now.

And Maybe you fucking ate it.

I've lost everything, and you seem only to have gained. That's fair. I can't be like this. I don't know how you can. Fucking do something. Real.

July 16, 2008 2:22 PM




2:22, I am not whoever you think I am. I am not Mayo, not SS, not anyone of importance.

Perhaps I am also mistaken In whom I thought I was addressing.

Sorry for the confusion. You sound pretty hurt and I don't want my words to add to your pain.

Anonymous said...

my belly hurts :(

Anonymous said...

*yawn*

Why don't you guys post your lastfm charts or something to liven this place up? Will blogger let you do that?

ergoproxy said...

*rubs anons belly*

poor anon hope you feel better soon


I'm off to have lunch and cook lasagne!!
On my NEW STOVE!!!!!!

:)

resurrected wreck said...

Have fun with the new stove, EP!

Hope your belly feels better soon, 9:42pm.

I am off to bed. Have a good night, everyone :)

Smoke said...

Sweet dreams, Mayo. Remember what I said? Umm, well if not, go back and read it again. ^_~

SS!!!

Hope you're doing okay, dude. Thank you again for what you did for MissT. You are awesome. But we've known that for a while now. :)

Sweet dreams BlogBelieve!

Oh and thank you mothereffin' Blogger for ruining my name. >_<

Anonymous said...

I know you by Henry Rollins

I know you
you were too short
you had bad skin
you couldn’t talk to them very well
words didn’t seem to work
they lied when they came out of your mouth
you tried so hard to understand them
you wanted to be part of what was happening
you saw them having fun
and it seemed like such a mystery
almost magic

Made you think that there was something wrong with you
you’d look in the mirror trying to find it
you thought that you were ugly
and that everyone was looking at you
so you learned to be invisible
to look down
to avoid conversation
the hours
days
weekends

Ah the weekend nights, alone
where were you
in the basement?
in the attic?
in your room?
working some job?
just to have something to do
just to have a place to put yourself
just to have a way to get away from them
a chance to get away from the ones that made you feel so strange and ill-at-ease inside yourself

Did you ever get invited to one of their parties
you sat and wondered if you would go or not
for hours you imagined the scenarios that might transpire
they would laugh at you
if you would know what to do
if you would have the right things on
if they would notice that you came from a different planet
did you get all brave in your thoughts
like you were going to be able to go in there and deal with it
and have a great time
did you think that you might be “the life of the party�?
that all these people were gonna talk to you
and you would find out that you were wrong
that you had a lot of friends
and you weren’t so strange after all?

Did you end up going
did they mess with you
did they single you out
did you find out that you were invited
because they thought you were so weird

Yeah, I think I know you
you spent a lot of time full of hate
a hate that was pure as sunshine
a hate that saw for miles
a hate that kept you up at night
a hate that filled your every waking moment
a hate that carried you for a long time

Yes I think I know you
you couldn’t figure out what they saw and the way they lived
home was not home
your room was home
a corner was home
the place they weren’t- that was home

I know you
you’re sensitive
and you hide it, because you fear getting stepped on one more time
it seems that when you show a part of yourself that is the least bit vulnerable
someone takes advantage of you
one of them steps on you
they mistake kindness for weakness
but you know the difference
you’ve been the brunt of their weakness for years
and strength is something you know a bit about
because you had to be strong to keep yourself alive

You know yourself very well now
and you don’t trust people
you know them too well
you try to find that “special person�?
someone you can be with
someone you can touch
someone you can talk to
someone you won’t feel so strange around
and you found that they don’t really exist
you feel closer to people on movie screens

Yeah, I think I know you
you spend a lot of time daydreaming
and people have made comment to that effect
telling you that you’re “self-involved�? and “self-centered�?
but they don’t know, do they
about the long nightshifts alone
about the years of keeping yourself company
all the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself
so you could imagine someone holding you
the hours of indecision
self-doubt
the intense depression
the blinding hate
the rage that made you stagger
the devastation of rejection
well
maybe they do know
but if they do
they sure do a good job of hiding it

It astounds you how they can be so smooth
how they seem to pass through life as if life itself was some divine gift
and it infuriates you to watch yourself with your apparent skill,
and finding every way possible to screw it up
for you, life is a long trip
terrifying and wonderful
birds sing to you at night
the rain and the sun
the changing seasons
are true friends
solitude is a hard won ally
faithful and patient

Yeah, I think I know you

Anonymous said...

*rubs anon's belly* poor anon, get well soon. Enjoy your stove Ergo :)

toujours said...

wow, 10:09.

just,

wow.

Anonymous said...

Damn.

So, now my stomach's doing funny things after reading that.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, am I glad I sat through that Henry Rollins thing.

toujours said...

i know, right?

oh, and hi there. :)

sdock10 said...

We're all kind of speechless or in awe, I think.

And on that note, I'm outta here.

G'nite BlogBelieve!

resurrected wreck said...

Geez.

I was supposed to just pop in here quickly before going to bed. I read the Henry Rollins thing & couldn't stop myself from bawling. That was powerful

Anonymous said...

Guys, I mentioned this this afternoon, and here is another article about it that says it clearer. Please, please mind this.


Bush Administration Trying To Redefine Contraception As Abortion.

Did you catch that?

The New York Times reports that the Bush Administration's Department of Health and Human Services is drafting a rule that would place new restrictions on domestic family planning programs. While current law allows health care providers and professionals to refuse to provide abortions based on their religious beliefs, this provision would threaten the funding of organizations and health facilities if they do not hire people who would refuse to provide birth control and defines abortion so broadly that it would include many types of birth control, including oral contraception.

They are going to HAVE TO hire people who can refuse a woman her birth control pills.

I mean, do you see where we're headed with no brakes? I can't be the only one who is freaking out, can I?

Anonymous said...

Wow. After I read the Rollins thing, I had to run to look at a calendar to make sure it wasn't 1987 and sophomore year of high school. It took me way back.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what to say.

There are just some things that feel like you're taking a fucking wrecking ball straight to the gut, and that was one of them.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your name smoke :-( Damn ass blogger huh?

resurrected wreck said...

The Bush administration is so very fucked up.

Anonymous said...

I know, Splash. Can you imagine the kind of world it's going to be when he's done with it? People will be within their rights to DENY YOU YOUR MEDICATION because they find your medication immoral.

WTF? WTF? WTMFF?!

resurrected wreck said...

Perhaps the Bush administration should carry on on that line of thinking and arrest all menstruating women.

I mean, if they get their period that means their eggs haven't been fertilized. And that's like contraception. Which is, like abortion. Right?

Anonymous said...

wow, life was tough for some in high school. :-(

Anonymous said...

Goodnight smokie, RW, sweet dreams

Anonymous said...

Who will get it?

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