The whispers are only for myself, and I repeat them often enough to know them all by heart. The truth, I held it under my tongue and prayed...all the while losing my hold on the meaning. Now my words are bent and broken from the release. Questionable promises have crumbled in my fist, and what remains is dry and falls through my fingers. It crashes to the ground in small piles, which I blend back into the earth with my shoe. I grab a handful and press it against my lips; it is rough against my cheek. And I am reminded of where it all began.
p.s. what has changed is mistaken for truth without question.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2,853 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 2853 Newer› Newest»Miss T, that is much too funny XD
Jen, I'd have laughed too.
Good night to all the people who have gone to bed have sweet dreams.
I frequently have my arse hanging out, so that's not really the most embarassing part. My story involves my beloved dog, Harley.
I was about 16 years old, home one night and bored so I made some cupcakes. I used to live on the east coast, right next door to my grandmother's house, so it wasn't odd for my cousins to stop by and visit. Harley was only a puppy, so they frequently came by to see the dog. My cousins and I had some cupcakes, my mother came home from being out visiting, and I went to bed.
A few minutes later mom was asking me where all the cupcakes are gone to. I was confused so I came downstairs, and saw that the cupcakes were missing off the countertop. I asked her where they'd gone, and then we both noticed the dog slinking out of the kitchen. Of course, he'd eaten them. We had a laugh and I went to bed.
Mom then noticed the dog gagging like he was going to be sick, and went over to his blanket, where she saw him trying to swallow something whole... another cupcake! She took it out of his mouth, and aside from a little dampness, noted nothing was wrong and hid it behind a plant on the kitchen table.
I woke up the next morning, headed downstairs and noticed that mom had hidden a cupcake on me.. behind the plant...
"Nyah, nyah, nyah! I ATE IT!"
"You mean the cupcake? I hauled that out of the dog's throat last night!"
-Amyranth
Good night RW.
Jen, after reading your story, that is why I believe in Karma ^_^
Holy crap. Monkeys are made of evil. You know that, right? That's why Michael Jackson had one, so that they could be evil together.
oh missT - out of the mouths of babes!
I had a friend (honestly) on a diary who was kicked in the eye by a dead cow and ended up in hospital and kept having to explain it over and over again.
(it was a death spasm, in case you wondering)
Miss T, Ick! A radio station had a Thanksgiving contest and they would play the sound of actual real turkeys gobbling, to let people know it was time to call in and win, and it made my skin crawl. My husband loves to do it when Thanksgiving is coming.
Amyranth, I like that one.
Mayo,
Sometimes this world can seem so overwhelming and out of our control; too much to bear, too much to fight.
You are never alone, never forgotten. Those whispered words will always bring you the hope and love you need. There is one who will never turn His back on you, no matter what you do, what you say.
Whatever is going on in your life right now, if you listen, you will hear the voice you need. In your heart, in your soul.
Comfort and love to you tonight, my dear. If I could hold you in my arms I would. I love you, you know that, but sometimes it's nice to be told. And to say.
Keep the Faith.
Love,
L.
Amyranth, you ate the cupcake that was in the dog's mouth? XD
ergoproxy said...
I actually rarely get embarassed, i just start laughing
Laughing at oneself makes a person stronger.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
-Amyranth
amyranth EEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!
Eww that was a good one Amy.
amyranth
Laughing at oneself makes a person stronger.
or insane take your pick! XD
Amyranth: Eww, but still funny. I bet the look on your face was priceless after your mother told you that!
Bahhaa! I know! With age does not necessarily come wisdom!
I've got tons of funny stories about my dog. Not including the one where my mother threatens to take the dog's ashes to my supposedly eventual wedding and sit his ashes at the head table.
Yes, I know. Weird. I figure it could have been worse. She wanted to have him stuffed.
-Amyranth
Amy, I have always heard that dogs have less germs than people, so it's all good!
L. that was beautiful
my sentiments exactly
Just thought I'd add that now the "medical issue" is Gerard's voice, not Bob's hand/arm.
LJ seems to be up in arms about it, but being very civil. Just thought you may like to know if you don't already.
Back to your embarassing lives ;)
Amyranth, do dogs loom large in your life?
ergoproxy said...
amyranth
Laughing at oneself makes a person stronger.
or insane take your pick! XD
SO TRUE! MANY a day where I was convinced I'd end up curled up in a ball somewhere cackling myself into a slow decline...
-Amyranth
Oh oh oh, I understand his title a little more now.
How do the people at LJ know, MIB?
ergoproxy,
Thank you.
Love,
L.
L:
Beautiful.
MissTottenham said...
Amyranth, do dogs loom large in your life?
This particular one did. Harley was an adoptee from the SPCA, RottieXLab, and just the sweetest thing. He lived for 11 years before passing away from a tumor in his ear, unfortunately cancer is prevalent where I come from and it appears that even animals are not spared...
-Amyranth
Sorry to hear that amyranth. Cancer is a bastard alright.
Hell if I know Star. That's what they're saying. That or the "medical issue" was with a family member of one of the guys. They seem to be leaning towards Gerard's voice and having to cancel the Maine date so he will have time to rest it before Europe (I guess is what they're getting at).
They don't understand how they can play Bon Jovi dates and not Maine. They think that it's because Gerard's voice could handle opening, but not headlining.
I don't know. Just their general consensus.
MIB,
Thank you, too. I think sometimes we all need to hear kind and loving words. I have a feeling he needs those right now.
Love,
L.
MissTottenham said...
Sorry to hear that amyranth. Cancer is a bastard alright
Yeah.. Well. We all gotta go sometime.
I laugh because my mother had the dog cremated, but I don't think she could have dealt with it any other way.
Besides, she was serious about having him stuffed. XD
-Amyranth
I'm sorry to hear about your dog amyranth :(
Stuffed animals are sooooooo creepy.
L: Your words are so comforting and wonderful.
Amy, I have always heard that dogs have less germs than people, so it's all good!
I don't think my dog got that memo. She's had her face up her bunghole for the last month, practically.
Gerard's voice..poor thing, they did say that he was off on the last BJ concert night.
That he couldn't be heard. Hope he's ok.
I JUST remembered I was on a reef walk for a Uni subject and I was chased across the reef for ages by this whopping great moral eel.I swear it tried to kill me !!
I think the towel flapping around my legs annoyed it. Everyone else thought it was hilarious, as I did once I could bloody breath again!!
mustardisbetter said...
They don't understand how they can play Bon Jovi dates and not Maine.
They don't understand much of anything over there. I'm part of the comm, but wow girls. These same people threw fits when Mikey went on Married-leave. ANd I was also seeing a bit of "well, they cancelled MY show and I never got to see them either, boo-hoo-hoo..."
I would hate, HATE to think it's worse than that, but I've had a sore throat the last few days and at least I have the luxury of calling in sick without offending anyone. These guys don't get sick* days, and I doubt there are many people that get that.
*sick= heartsick, homesick, headsick, the list goes on.
-Amyranth
Ergo, does dissaster follow you around?
I'm outta here you guys. Save some room for tomorrow. We may not get another one out of Mayo for a while :)
Thanks everybody for sharing "Most Embarrassing moments." It's good to know I'm not the only chuckle-head out there.
I think I'll sleep with a smile this evening.
Take care Mustard :)
See ya mustard.
Mayo if you are Gerard and it is your voice and you are reading this..
don't laugh to much you might pop a foofoo valve
Hey, if Gerard couldn't sing, maybe he could have just written the lyrics on his arms instead and waved them about.
Oooooo sorry, bitchy there. These funny stories are making me feel naughty and giggly.
Jen,
Thank you as well.
MIB,
I don't have any insider info, but I just get a feeling from this post. A little love goes a long way.
Love,
L.
Just had to say:
Amyranth, that's so true. They were all wanting to know Why?! Why?! Why?! And, "They didn't give enough detail!"
Bloody hell! Do they need to give you a Doctor's note?
If they needed the date off, they needed it off. Case closed. We'll find out sooner or later what happened. I don't see the reasoning behind some of their posts over there.
Okay, now I'm gone. *cheesy grin*
bye mustard.
miss T
no just eels - rofl
I have had a lot of years to build up my repertoire
plus I do quite a lot of things, I suppose.
Good night, jennicula, MIB
Besides, she was serious about having him stuffed. XD
Yeah, that definitely is creepy, I could never do that!
We actually used to work with a company that offered that service, and we'd get pamphlets about it all the time. Your other option--this one is even worse--was that for about $30,000 they would hold onto your dog's or cat's DNA until cloning was an option for pet owners. The company was called Savings And Clone. When that day came, you could have your pet cloned. Their standard disclaimer was that because markings on pets were random and because they didn't have any solid proof that behavioral traits came solely from DNA, it would be an entirely different pet, but with the same DNA.
Seriously, how creepy and wasteful is that? Not only do you spend all that money and not get the same pet back (don't even get into the spiritual aspects of it, that is a whole 'nother can of maggots,) but why not just go and adopt a pet from a shelter?
The other awesome pamphlets we used to get were from the companies Male Pride and Neuticals. Those were both cosmetic options. In other words, after having your male dog or cat neutered, with Neuticals or Male Pride, you could opt to have prosthetic testicles put back into the sack. because you know, dogs care so much what it looks like back there.
The best part was that the Neuticals rep used to actually come by, and they would leave these neutical earrings, which, I kid you not, were little plastic testical earrings. Unfortunately I was never around on a day when the Neutical guy came around so I never got those earrings. :(
miss T
or all over their bodies.
we could have leant some clones if they ran out of space
Aw kapunua, I bet those earrings would have looked just darling.
Oh Kapunua what fantastic earrings, but such a shame you didn't get any.
But I have seen many a dog or cat mentally scarred by the cosmetic appearance of their scrotums.
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha
I couldn't resist.
Good thing you got that keyboard Kapunua. I don't think Adam has ever talked about testicular prosthetics.
Though, that would probably make a kickass song.
Mayo,
Have you ever heard about the mythological bird called the phoenix?
Apparently it crashes into a pile of burning flames and resurrects itself from the ashes.
Hope that cheers you up.
Hello to all and good night.
XOXOXO
ah who would've thought I'd ever send the word "scrotum" out into the ether of the world wide web
Good night, everybody!
Feel better, Mayo.
Well hello Bh13 and by the way good night to all the bloggers who have gone to bed. I can't keep up with your names anymore.
Aw blackheart, where have you been? I missed you :)
El to the Oh to the El. ^_^ Yeah, I don't suppose I could have found the lyrics to tell that story. Adam, though... you never know. he is a wonderful dude with many crazy things in his head and I love him for it.
Yeah, there are some crazy and random companies out there who live to exploit people's insecurities and fears. To each his own though, I mean if you need to stuff your pet, more power to you.
Here's another weird one: LifeGem. Aunt Martha kicks it and you send her ashes off for them to extract the carbon and make a diamond out of her. (Your results may vary and any color discrepancy in Aunt Martha is normal and to be expected!) Then you can wear Aunt Martha on all your hottest dates!
"What a beautiful ring! Did you inherit that from your Aunt Martha?"
"No. This is Aunt Martha!"
Creepy.
night night star. take care
I too shall follow that jolly troupe off to bed.
It's been lovely chatting with you guys as always.
Thanks Mayo for the new blog, always appreciated.
Wow, check out my mad html skills. You can do it too, with a lot of practice!
http://lifegem.com/ >_>
Good night to all, I am off to bed. J says "Hello" and "Good Night" as well.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love,
L.
to the tune "thank god I'm a country boy"
Oh life in the house was pretty laid back
used to lie on the couch
and get pats on my back
but that all ended when they put me in a sack
when I lost my testicles
now I got me a bag
but it's got nothin in it
it just hanging there
but hang on a minute
perhaps I can find a
replacement for it..
my prosthetic testicles
Good night Miss T :)
Sweet dreams
Ergoproxy, mix that song up a little, repeat a few lines, mix two contrasting or complementing thoughts together and crescendo to a fantastic chorus, repeat as necessary, and I swear you've got Taking Back Sunday's next single. ^_^
I shall e mail them immediately!
there could be a killer Monty Python sketch in there too
"What a beautiful ring! Did you inherit that from your Aunt Martha?"
"No. This is Aunt Martha!"
Creepy
Don't joke, I had that situation once at the pet store. I had a lady come in with the most exquisite ring, the stone was a brilliant red. I jested that she must be a wonderful wife to get such an amazing ring from her husband, and first her face went blank, then white, then tears welled up as she informed me it WAS her husband.
Apparently, he'd been working overseas on the oilrigs when they had a blowout and he was killed. The insurance policy (inn-sewer-ants-polly-sea?) paid out to have him made into a LifeGem.
A couple of things.
1. - How do you explain the presence of the deceased husband to the new boyfriend?
2. Mom always knew she was going to get a diamond necklace out of my father.
-Amyranth is on a roll tonight.
Well I'm off to bed. I have to go to work. later guys
see you MJ
I jested that she must be a wonderful wife to get such an amazing ring from her husband, and first her face went blank, then white, then tears welled up as she informed me it WAS her husband.
Oh my god, a real life example. That's fantastic!
One thing about LifeGems, though. At least you know they're not mined by slave children or anything.
I actually hate diamonds and will never own one for just that reason.
good night martha
Australian diamonds aren't !
Just check they come from the Argyle diamond mine. or get a pink one, they pretty much only come from there.
I'm off too, do some house work before schools out
bye!
Really, about the diamonds? Well, that's pretty cool!
I'm still kinda not partial to them, though. They're not as rare as most people think, they are just mostly kept off the market to increase their value. They're a little common, a little plain.
Crystals and other sparkly type junk jewelry is so much cooler. ^_^
Mayo,
The truth has never changed. It can't be changed. It remains a constant. Only ones perception of it can change. So if you hid the truth for so long then you should have it buried deep within your heart. You know the truth; you feel the truth, now live the truth. Remember where it all began , go back and find it waiting there for you.
One thing about LifeGems, though. At least you know they're not mined by slave children or anything.
Stay away from Tanzanite then. The government keeps such tight control of the mines it's bordering on civil war in Tanzania and hurting the citizens of the country.
-Amyranth used to work in a jewelery store.
What's with the time-stamp on this bitch? It keeps changing.
Well now, it is time for me to be getting to bed. But before I go, I did want to say one quick thing that just occurred to me as I was brushing my teeth. Hey Mayo, I'm not sure if you read this far down, but hey, thanks for this new entry. Whoever you really are and whatever your big ole' bag of trouble really is, you sure did bring a lot of people together, and each new post of yours gives us something to chat about. I hope you don't feel left out when it stops being All About You, but like everyone says, feel free to leap in if you so desire.
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks, and that I hope someday you find your place in the Great Circle of Stuff.
finished sweeping,waiting for washimg to finish
Kapunua try sapphires but look for the other colours. We have one of the biggest gem fields west of us and you can fossick yourself. I have a deep green sapphire in a ring that I found!
Most are little and flawed but there are so many colours, or a parti which is a mix.
Also garnet, all the reds, I had one set in Bankok and the jeweller looked at it and said "oh Queensland garnet"
(they would probably cost more but I'm sure some places sell cut stones overseas)
or good excuse for a holiday!
ergoproxy- I've got a green sapphire and diamond ring myself. I love the sapphire more than my own birthstone (emerald) because it seems to have so much more life to it.
... I keep this up and you can string all my posts together into the story of my life. Gives Mayo something to do when he's so bored he's considering pickling his own eyeballs.
-Amyranth
amyranth I agree, the green is much richer and the cuts are more varied.
Emerald to me always looks a bit cheap? i don't know if that's the right word but you probably know what I mean.
You know if Gerard is Mayo and has damaged his voice, this whole post could very easily be his feelings about knowing it was happening and not wanting to admit it. And how he feels now about the disappointment.
or it could read as something deeper...I wonder which
Ash...
Were you affected by the fire, like me?
Or am I simply taking this the wrong way because of the fact that the only thing on my mind is hot and burns freely?
s00
or it could read as something deeper...I wonder which
Working on that assumption, I think it's worse than that.
Whoever Mayo is, I want them to know they've always got a sympathetic ear and a box of overpriced chocolates in me. It's hard to convey hurt in a blog post, but the author did it excellently this time.
And now, 'tis bed for me!
-Amyranth
hmmm me too.it's the crumbling to dust bit that feels it to me.
night amyranth sleep well.
oh well, I'll do toujours job of tidying up.
*sets couches back in place, plumps cushions, collects cups and washes up*
*one last look and turns out light*
good night Mayo, take care hey?
*blows kiss*
sorry silence didn't see you!
you take care too, night.
"And I am reminded of where it all began."
Poetic, and at this rate, meaningless.
Maybe this is a way to say you are not who we thought... if you are not Gerard, then, you were evacuated, yes? Last I checked, the band was NOT in southern California.
Your absence falls under the same scedule as my friends..
as the fire.
Mandatory evacuation isn't too fun, yeah?
Fuckin' tell me about it. :/
-s00
Oh, goodnight ergo and amyranth! [:
Mayo!! You posted! Thank you,it was crazy in that last blog.
I liked this one,it was beautifully
put.
Of course I wasn't here but that was because of the soccer game,and my team lost:(
Loosers.
Well,hope you're doing well Mayo.
Entrophy, sorry to hear your team lost. This just feels like a sad night all around. Guess I'll try to be Scarlett "Tomorrow is another day."
Just got caught up... much easier to do when there's less than 300 comments. Thanks for the new post, Mayo. If you need a hug, you can hit us up anytime.
I've been down all night, and every time I re-read this post, I get even more depressed. Mayo, whoever you are, you need some snuggles. (And believe me, I'm SO not the snuggling type.) :(
I'm off to bed, maybe tomorrow won't be so bleak-ish. 'Night, everyone.
Sister - I agree with you. I reread the post and the words are filled with such sadness. It's so hard sometimes caring so much and knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do to help. Mayo, just try to remember how many people care.
Night Sister, sleep well.
Yay, finally a new Mayo blog!
Unfortunately, I don't speak Mayoish, so I have no clue what this cryptic blog is about.
However, I do know that it sounds sad.
Hang in there Mayo.
Thanks Elena.
so many things i wish i could say to you, mayo. so many words to give you courage and comfort -- but they all stop stuck in my head because i have no power beyond the typing of them.
i'm sure though that there must be people around you, loved ones, trusted ones, with those same words, so listen to them, lean on them.
i myself can only tell you this: i believe in you. i think you have only begun to show the world how it looks through your eyes, and i believe nothing can stop you (not even yourself). and there's no risk of failure attached to this belief of mine; you cannot disappoint me, because i will believe in you forever.
there. that's my midnight truth for the night.
good night, mayo, and a beautiful day.
Hi, Mayo
This does sound like an awfully sad post. I wish I could do or say something that would help, but... Just know that we are all here for you.
Mayonaise,
The longer you hold truth from others, the more twisted it becomes. Each time you go over it in your mind, your perception of it changes a little bit. By the time you release it, it may not even be truth anymore. Or it simply may not be heard or understood.
In the absence of real truth, most people will eventually make up their own. They see what they want to see, and believe what they want to believe. By the time someone finally sets them straight, the real truth may be so far from what they've built up in their minds that they might reject it out of fear, anger, or disbelief.
Either way, nothing good ever comes from holding back the truth. It will only bring misunderstanding. Say whatever you need to say. Get it out there. And be prepared to listen - really listen - to the questions that will come in response.
Be honest with those you love. And most importantly, be honest with yourself.
-Andrea
Hope you have a goodnight Mayo.
And you're sleeping well.
Goodnight.
Mayo,
I'm glad you posted a new blog, that other one was very crowded. I have such a sad feeling over this latest post of yours, but a sense of hope too, I think. From my own experience going back to before all the little lies you told yourself is a good start to begin moving forward with a lighter weight on your shoulders. There isn't really much more that I can say that hasn't already been said. Just know that you have a lot of people who are here for you, including me. Take care of yourself and get a goodnight's sleep.
So which man are we on about here, mayo? Several possibilities spring to mind. Oh yes,just as an aside, I saw Bert last night. That man has stage charisma in buckets.
Thanks for the new blog, although I'll revisit the old one on the 31st so as I can get some gruesome, gritty, red eyes for the benefit of doorknocking children that evening.
Good morning Mayo...
I'm glad that you're back, I just hope that something makes you feel better soon.
It's an unfortunate fact of life Mayo, but some people are always ready to believe the worst, or best, about certain people. And others do question. It's all in the balance.
Rise and Shine Mayo.
'Tis a new day and a new beginning. Make of it what you will. Your choice, and your's alone.
Hello guys! It sucks. Why? 'Cause it's Monday and Mondays suck hard. *cheesy grin*
Mayo
I suspect you have appeasing your conscience by telling yourself lies in order to protect others, but now are finding they have actually internally decimated you.
You can no longer wear the wool. Why did you accept this responsibility in the first place? Maybe it seemed a fair trade for what was promised.
The truth as you have discovered has now become distorted because it was restrained for too long. Other's perceptions have changed. You probably fear no one will believe or understand you.
You have truly reached this crossroad, but now there is no stopping it.
It must come out, trying to protect others from hurt this way is not allowing some trust. And what if they are hurt? Are they not mature enough to cope, emotionally or financially, or do you fear their perception of you? Is this more important than your own life?
You will never stop the inevitable by avoiding it, reality is always around the corner despite the grueling pace, fear is something we must all live with. Life lessons that are your turn to learn now.
Mayo,
You made me feel sad today. I’m sorry you are sad, too. Never hold the truth back. Then you open yourself up to be interpreted by everyone else. Never let that happen. No matter how much the truth might hurt someone else, you have to let it out.
Well, I do hope you feel better and everything works out for the best. For who? Everyone.
Damn, guess the fun couldn’t last forever in here, huh?
Don’t forget your crown wherever you go, Mayo. You’re still the Queen, right?
Yes, I heard the one about the man who remained silent only to be heard.
Mayo; glad to see a return!
The truth, I held it under my tongue and prayed...all the while losing my hold on the meaning.
The truth is something nice to hear once in a while. Speaking the truth lifts a weight off of your shoulders that you never knew was there. You should try it Mayo. It'll make you, and everyone else feel better. That is how you gain trust.
Now my words are bent and broken from the release. Questionable promises have crumbled in my fist, and what remains is dry and falls through my fingers. It crashes to the ground in small piles, which I blend back into the earth with my shoe.
Promises aren't meant to be broken. You have the power not to break them, yet you still choose to do so. Pick up the pieces, and put them back together. It isn't as easy as it sounds, but the end result is much better than the beginning!
I grab a handful and press it against my lips; it is rough against my cheek. And I am reminded of where it all began.
Broken promises, hiding the truth, lying to the ones you love, yeah, that does tend to hurt. It ends up hurting you more, wrecking you on the inside. Don't do this to yourself.
Anonymous said...
Listen everyone,
This game is called DIVIDE and CONQUER
October 29, 2007 2:36 AM
Anonymous said...
Yes, you are dividing, but Mayo is conquering, or seems to think he is.
Similar to what happens at all the fan sites. Just be aware.
Argue, never try to reject( I don't think you ever would)
October 29, 2007 2:44 AM
Is this your intention? To try splitting us up? Trying to make us turn against each other? We all have a bond that is not easily broken. If these anonymous posters are telling us the truth, then seriously, I don't even know what to say.
Mayo; you had lots of people worried. I was worried.
finally a new post, thanks for posting it mayo :) people started missing you here and things got a lil bit out of hand...
anyway I hope your well :)
hello all!
hello mayo! atlast you posted! this one is really sad. i don't really know what to make of it.
you kept the truth all to yourself for so long that you don't understand what it means anymore??
and now you are atlast telling these truths but the words aren't coming out right, the real truth isn't coming out??
why are the promises questionable/ were they ever really promises or is this just your way of not feeling so bad that you've broken them?
and when you grab a handful of those questionable promises mingled with dirt you remember where it all started?
god i'm not good at translating mayo but it is beautifully written.
anyway i missed some fun again last night.
my whore name aint great it is "whiskey yonder"!! eek! sounds like a scary aging drag queen with an alcohol problem!
as far as embarrassing stories i have many and they tend to be on 2 specific themes:
1. being caught by various people on the toilet/going to the toilet/outdoors/indoors!! cringe!
2.being caught having sex by various people. family members being the most awfully embarrassing!!
i don't know why it always seems to happen to me! first time i said "god i don't believe that just happened!" next time "god i don't believe that just happened AGAIN!" next time "fuck and AGAIN!!!" horrible memories!
anyway on that note i'm off for now. catch you all later.
bye mayo.
Mayo,
My Dearest Friend, I have missed you terribly. Have you missed me at all? I'm sure that when you started all this that you never intended to stay or to care and I certainly know that I felt the same. Yet, here we both are.
This post sounds so much like your inner struggles might be getting the better of you. Do not let the battle for your soul wear you down. It will be a constant war and some fights you will win and some you will lose, but as long as you keep fighting there is always hope.
You seem worried about truth and the perception of it. The truth is nothing but an enigma anyway. Does it really exist? If the truth were to take on a solid life form and you were able to spill it from the rooftops and let it pour down like rain, people would hold out their arms and catch only the parts they wanted....those prettiest to them. The leftovers would fall to the wayside and be grabbed up, molded and shaped into a perfect fit. The real truth would fall to the ground and shatter into a million razor sharp pieces....so tiny that they are invisible to the untrained eye.
As long as you know what is real and true in your heart, that is all that really matters. Do not fear that you have lost it forever. It has only been misplaced under some of your useless bullshit. Do you see it now? Do you recognize it? Does it look the way you remember it? Hold it high so I can see it.....Nope, that's not it. Keep looking.....
Want me to help you find it?
I keep passing you...My arms are stretched to their limits and I'm still reaching. Our fingertips almost touched the last time around. Maybe...next time. Would you grab my hand and hold on so tightly that my knuckles turn white and pain shoots through my fingers? or...Would you painfully slap my hand away in disgust? ....or perhaps, Would you latch on, twist my arm behind my back, hold me hostage, and take me down with you?
.....only if I let you.
Love to YOU always,
S
p.s. Look out below...watch for falling debris.
Ahhh Sdock, you do say everything so beautifully. Please write a novel so the world can benefit from your talent.
Carrying on imaginary relationships with people who don't know you exist is very troubling.
Hi all. Hope you're all doing OK. Missed you guys.
Posted a new blog about the canceled show and wondering what might be going on. Would like your opinions etc.
Stay cool guys, question everything.
To Pretty Purple Unicorn,
Again, do I have to keep reminding you that you are the imaginary one? Unicorns don’t exist. Sorry to have to keep breaking that bad news to you, but someone’s got to do it.
Love,
Pretty Perfect Princess
PPU, I am DONE with you.
I've tried to be nice, but no more.
PLEASE go fuck yourself.
PPU,
I would try to talk to you, but we all know unicorns aren't real...they're imaginary.
*POOF*
If I make myself not see you, it is inevitable that you will disappear.
Did you have a hand in making our friend Gerard wear that unicorn shirt? I think you might have.
/sarcasm
Carrying on imaginary relationships with people who don't know you exist is very troubling.
What's even more troubling is that you care.
Why so silent, voice broken?
Perhaps you should QUIT SMOKING! That shit is either gonna kill you or your career...which ever comes first.
A concerned fan
Hello!
Is anybody there?
Hello MissT!
I'm coming in and out. Busy day today.
You doing well?
Am I all alone here?
Oh well, Heelo Mayo! How are you this fine October evening?
Hi Mustard! I'm fine thanks. How are you?
Doing well. It's a beautiful day, so I can't complain.
I'm going to have to head out though. I have a multitude of things to take care of. They're never happy! So, I'll be back later. Hopefully someone will pop their head in and chat with you. I'd have for you to have to talk to yourself again ;)
Aw, short and sweet mustard. I'll see you later then.
I see finally mayo has posted, interesting.
Well, still no word about the canceled show, which people are still pretty pissy about. Which i dont blame them for either.
Their management sucks big time, so im expecting some word, just not anytime soon.
Long Time Dead, just because I comment, doesn't mean I care.
My Dearest Friends, I have missed you terribly. Have you missed me at all?
Hello PPU, I think I'm the only one here apart from you and gel.
Have I missed you? Well, you certainly get things fired up around here.
Dramallamas, whatever. Hey guys, hit up my LJ if you want to see my Halloween costume. ^_^
How are you all today?
very good thank you k. how are you?
I wish all the unicorns, purple ones and the ones that appear on shirts, would cross the Rainbow Bridge!
Hey, I've been thinking... Maybe they had to cancel the show because Gerard is having a vasectomy?
Hi Kapunua! I'm fine, how are you?
Those are great pics. I love your dress and your make up was well spooky.
Those two as barbie and ken cracked me up.
Hi Everyone,
How are ya'll doing this fine Monday?
Kapunua, you looked super bad ass in that Halloween costume!!!
Yes Myalyas, but is it for the dick in his pants or the one on his head?
Hi sdock10, I'm fine. How are you?
Doing pretty damn good for a Monday. I'm suprisingly calm and cool. Not my usual agitated self.
What's new in Blogtown?
Ohhh....burn MissT. That's a deep burn. That...was goooood.
Okay, bye!
Their management sucks big time
I wouldn't go that far!
And PPU.....Did My Little Pony stiff you or something? Why must you be so condescending?
Hi & Bye mustard.
Oh, Miss T, that was good!
Myalyas, I'm taking a bow as we speak.
Kapuana, your costume was great! Very crafty stuff you did with the dress!
Thank you guys! So good to read you all! ^_^ Glad you are all doing well today.
Ohh, MissT, that was harsh! Wonder if he wants some salve for that burn! ^_~
Well, im talking about handling situations, their management (Riot Squad, i think it is) never manage to inform people on time or inform anyone for that matter.
I cant believe this is the first year im not going T-o-T
LOL at Miss T's comment!
I can feel the burn from here!!
((Hi, all.))
Nah Kapunua, let him burn, it might do him some good.
These people assume the questionable promises are promises that you made. Oh how wrong they are...if only they knew.
anon, if only we knew what exactly?
Not so fast, anon. I, for one, thought it was promises made to him.
Do you care to spill the beans anon?
Hi sister midnite! How are you?
I know that comment was harsh but I'm in a bad girl mood tonight.
Bring it on ha!
Then I applaud you Myalyas. Most people won't even consider the possibility that perhaps he is the one who has been hurt and betrayed. So many times. He nurses wounds so deep that they penetrate his very core but still his spirit remains unbroken and he dares to hope, dares to love.
Hi MissT, fimblestar, Sister Midnite, anyone I may have missed. How are we all?
Anonymous, If only he could love the right people.
Hi Star, I'm good, how about you?
I'm good, thanks, Miss T.
MissTottenham said...
Anonymous, If only he could love the right people.
The heart wants what it wants. There is no accounting for taste.
Matters of the heart are both mysterious and delicate, and at best all we can do is give our opinion and offer advice to those we care about.
Most people won't even consider the possibility that perhaps he is the one who has been hurt and betrayed. So many times. He nurses wounds so deep that they penetrate his very core but still his spirit remains unbroken and he dares to hope, dares to love.
If it's Mayo you're talking about here, then how do you know? None of us knows who Mayo really is, and if you do, then you either ARE him, or you are a part of his game.
If you are talking about Gerard Way, then again, how would you know?
But let's assume for the sake of entertainment that you do. Just for a sec.
Okay, so who here hasn't had someone break an important promise to them, raise your hand? Who here hasn't been heartbroken over someone? Who here hasn't been ditched by someone you trusted? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Pain doesn't make you special. How you deal with it can, though. And remaining open to future possibilities, allowing yourself to let people into your life no matter how many times you get burned, that's usually a good quality. Full-on cynics are rarely happy.
But going the opposite extreme and letting anyone in because they're standing next to you is just foolish. (And contrary to most popular love songs, foolishness is not an admirable trait.)
What's worse is when you let strangers in, in the name of "bravery" or whatever, but you shut out everyone else who was in your life. You kick the people in your past while they are down ad you push away the people who are still in your life, and then you brag about your exploits to thousands of people.
That's when you start to suck, Bright Star.
Anon, wouldn't you care to elaborate?
Anonymous said...
The heart wants what it wants. There is no accounting for taste.
Matters of the heart are both mysterious and delicate, and at best all we can do is give our opinion and offer advice to those we care about.
Ain't that the truth...You can't help who you fall for. I know people who tried to stand in my way and talk me out of my relationship, but I wasn't going to hear any of it. And guess what? I got exactly what I wanted and now....not so sure that's what I want. But my true friends are still my friends and have never turned their back on me because of the choice I made.
hi and a nice afternoon/evening :)
Anonymous said
Matters of the heart are both mysterious and delicate, and at best all we can do is give our opinion and offer advice to those we care about.
Yes, and it's frustrating when people on the outside can see what the people on the inside refuse to.
It's Monday, so I'm... okay, I guess.
So the topic under discussion is still betrayal, hmm?
Can't speak to that, anymore than anyone else here, we've all been betrayed at one point or another.
Which is why this is my permanent love. ^_^
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2hd2t5y&s=2
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=10rsi8k&s=2
Hello my pixie chum.
Have we tempted you out of hiding?
Sister midnite, the love of your life is a true cutie.
Midnite,
That's such a cute pussy cat!
Maybe the betrayal came from someone you would never, ever expect?
The ultimate betrayal usually comes from someone you least expect...like perhaps a family member or best friend. Doesn't always have to be your lover.
"Have we tempted you out of hiding?"
are you asking me? I wasn´t hiding, just unsure what to say here... I know stupid me ;)
oh that´s life, everyone has bad experiences or not? that experiences made us to what we´re now or? I´m not sure if I want to make the same experiences again, but at least they made me stronger...
hello guys!
hope you are all doing well.
i didn't get that the questionable promises weren't necessarily from him, but i'm crap at translating mayo. interesting though.
Sister Midnite, what a gorgeous, lovable cat!
A white cat with white eyes (sounds freaky, but he was beautiful) walked up to my husband and I on Bourbon Street Saturday night. He started meowing and rubbing up against my husband. We wanted to scoop him up and take him home.
Hi pixie and farawaysoclose
"The ultimate betrayal usually comes from someone you least expect...like perhaps a family member or best friend. Doesn't always have to be your lover."
jep that´s why it hurts so much.....
And do you see those fragments on the ground Mayo, the ones that you have crushed into the earth?
Well, the funny thing about them is that when you mix it to the correct consistencies it can be used to create beautiful things.
What once was can be again. It's all in the mix.
Hi Baroness Star,
How are you today?
GS,
That is an excellent point.
Myalyas said...
Maybe the betrayal came from someone you would never, ever expect?
So you are suggesting that we do in fact know this person? Or is this all speculation?
Thanks, guys! He's my Spudsy-love. (Spuds is his name, and he's a little slushie-slut. ^__^)
Betrayal is never easy, for anyone, Anon. There are a LOT of people who've never given up, no matter how deep the betrayal. So yes, Mayo/Gerard/whoever may be special, but isn't unique in that respect. Sorry.
I'm quite well, Sdock10. Happy to see you!
Yeah, it's been like forever since I talked to you...since FF2007.
Well guys I'll catch ya in a bit.
Leaving work now.
capture the void, I don't know anything - just speculating, hallucinating, etc.
Okay. Thank you.
MissTottenham said...
Yes, and it's frustrating when people on the outside can see what the people on the inside refuse to.
It is frustrating for all, more so I would imagine for those on the inside. They will have seen him at his lowest ebb. Vulnerable, heartbroken and devastated, when the pain is still raw and exposed. They probably want to believe he is in love almost as much as he does.
Well tomorrow night is when, MCR's message and everything they stood for, dies. :( I still want to have a funeral!
Anonymous said
They probably want to believe he is in love almost as much as he does.
It's just a shame that eveyone carries on pretending. Where will it all end?
Hurt, betrayal, wounding is a two way cycle.
Each person involved in that situation is hurt and damaged in their own way, it is a personal experience.
You were hurt, they will probably say the same.
The trick is how you deal with it.
Anon said
Well tomorrow night is when, MCR's message and everything they stood for, dies. :( I still want to have a funeral!
I think we will all breathe a sigh of disappointment.
gnothi seauton said...
Hurt, betrayal, wounding is a two way cycle.
Each person involved in that situation is hurt and damaged in their own way, it is a personal experience.
You were hurt, they will probably say the same.
The trick is how you deal with it.
So well said...Too bad the trick is one so many people never learn.
"They probably want to believe he is in love almost as much as he does."
so are they really try to believe he´s in love and maybe close their eyes for the reality??? whatever the reality contains...
misstottenham said...
It's just a shame that eveyone carries on pretending. Where will it all end?
I suspect some of the band are more accepting of his choice of life partner than others. It is not pretending, it is supporting. Some band members feel they have some making up to do in that area and are making an effort not to interfere this time.
Where will it all end? Now that is the question...
arh spellingmistakes again... sorry fopr my rude english ^^
Morning all
How are we?
anon said
They probably want to believe he is in love almost as much as he does.
yes but all the believing in the world won't make it so.
And he isn't the only one nursing scars etc, evertbody has stuff happen,but if he doesn't heal them he cannot function as a friend,performer,lover or husband, that is my concern, not who or why he married.
You people are taking this way too seriously, nothing is dying and their is no need for a funeral.
Nice quote i thought fits in here:
"There are 3 words that describe life- It goes on"
-Robert Frost (poet)
Not his exact words but you get the point.
hi ergo :)
Don't apologize, Pixie. Your english is fine!
Anonymous said
Some band members feel they have some making up to do in that area and are making an effort not to interfere this time.
So, are some band members not exactly accepting the relationship, rather they are keeping their distance?
aww thanks star :)
Some band members have probably learned to keep their opinions to themselves, however well meaning or justified they felt they were to speak up and address the situation.
So by remaining silent do you believe you put your point across?
Don't kid yourself Mayo, you need this place as much as some of us do.
And I include myself there. This is my hideaway. For me. A place to pretend for a while.
I chastised myself yesterday for all the comments I made then I realised that we are co-dependant on each other and if you really didn't like what we say you would just go.
But you never do.
So what does that say.
Whoever you are, you may be the chess master, but I for one am enjoying the challenge and shall remain.
Now who shall I be pawn, rook.....?
Why can't he really be in love this time? I refuse to believe that it isn't possible. Just because some do not see it does not mean it's not there. It's their love...let them do it how they want to. Not for me to judge.
And back to the ultimate betrayal thing...I can only think of one person who could betray me and I would consider it the ultimate betrayal above all others and that is my sister.
So anonymous,
are they keeping quiet so sa not to rock the boat?
They can't tiptoe areound forever surely.
Post a Comment