I arrived suddenly, and knew for certain that I was in the best place. It was warm and calm and I stood quietly in the moment, waiting for my turn. But, I quickly realized I was alone. Figuring my wait would be short; I let out a breath releasing the smoke from my lungs and viewed my new environment. All around me the black tar covered ground seemed endless, as if I stood in the parking lot for the world’s demise. Its emptiness ran undisturbed to the limits of my sight, and I thought, “When does it all get here?” Then, as I dropped my spent cigarette to the ground, intending to snub it out with the toe of my boot, something caught my eye.
At the hem of my faded, old black shirt was a white thread and without reflection I pulled it. As I pulled, it continued to reveal itself. So I continued to pull, believing that my shirt would soon unravel. But instead, my shirt remained intact while the string started to wind around itself, twining, until it became as thick as a hangman’s rope. With both my hands I began to work against gravity to slow it down, but it quickly stole my grip allowing the rope to spill out, coiling at my feet. When it stopped its fall, the weight of it almost pulled me over and I realized it must be connected to me. I pulled up my shirt and discovered it cleanly attached to the center of my chest.
Then I noticed smoke coming up from the center of the pile and realized the rope had coiled itself around my still lit cigarette. I frantically began to kick at the rope, fearing that it would fuse its way to my heart, igniting it. My success gave way to alarm as I heard from behind me the approaching sound of children’s laughter. When I turned, they were upon me. Several of them grabbed the rope and ran past me. As I watched the rope begin to take off I grabbed for it, but it slipped in my hand. When it disconnected from my chest I fell to the ground and grabbed for its end, but it trailed off behind them, leaving an inky trace.
I remained on my knees. A dull pain echoed in my chest as I watched the children huddle together holding hands to ears, whispering. Several of them looked over at me, but quickly returned to their attention to the group. I felt like an idiot. Oddly, they seemed unfazed by my presence and began to jump rope, their laughter in time with its swooshing rhythm. So, I asked them “Don’t you know you’re playing with the end of me?” My reply came in the most unexpected way, as the smallest of all the children approached me with the seeping end of the rope, smiled and said, “It’s your turn.”
p.s. I’m always fucking late.
Monday, October 27, 2008
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You tried Anima!
Lewis, nice to see you again!
-A
Well I will say this. When Mayo came on tonight and said said what he said, I was glad. He stood up for what was right. Not what Amyranth thinks is right and not what is right for the people who believe that the blog needed to be "fixed".... but for what (who) he wants on his own blog. So even if a bunch of you people here are too good to spare some time for that group of nice girls or you think they are shitty attention whores (sorry, but that night with the sister's cousin's anniversary of death, and Kapu's suicidal friend and the way some of you treated them was SHIT) at least Mayo showed his true colors. I for one am proud of him.
Hi lewis!!!
Lewis, it was nice to see you!
yes, cancer death and suicide are such jokes. But for fuck's sake BACKREAD!!!
Lewis I've been worried about you.
Anon at 1:04, I think you got this whole place all wrong...
Anima, let them.
Makes them look worse by comparison.
-A
That's my way of saying that I agree. Priorities are all wrong and there are double standards anyone with their eyes open, can't deny. I do agree with that fact. It's so important to backread and acknowledge TJ, but it's equally OK to ignore people trying to grieve through a child's death, and ridicule someone talking about her friend talking about suicide.
I was proud of Mayo too.
No Anima. I was there that night. You weren't. The behavior of some people towards ones here who were hurting was disgusting.
The behavior of some people towards ones here who were hurting was disgusting.
Is that any different from how others here have been treated?
Nope.
-A
excuse me anon but I would sincerely hope you are not presuming that people here now were involved in any anonymous assaults, I for one am very insulted that the use of phrases like "you people" or others at at times "everyone" It seems to be a blanket term for all of us, and I have not and will not be included in any of the vile anonymous behaviour that has gone on here.
So kindly could you, and all anons ensure terms you use are more specific and less all encompassing
Anon, I'm not sure who is who. I do not get this belittling....I too think it is digusting. What should we do?
Amyranth, how does that make it OK? The people being ignored or ridiculed over cancer and suicide didn't hurt you or Dickweed or ANYONE enough to merit that treatment. You keep on saying that their poetry and games "hurt" you. Get some perspective. Death and threats of death are a little different to blog life.
Even if the porchies were as shitty as you claim they are that would still not make it right to treat them like that.
EP the anons were disgusting that night but so were some people signed in. Either they coldly ignored people who were hurting or they ridiculed a person who was scared.
i have explained myself and apologized to the people i offended that night, and they have graciously accepted my apologies. that's the end of it.
Anima I am what is usually thought of as a "nobody" around here because not only am I not a regular in blue, but also because I have taken part in things that Amyranth is against. I was one of the anons who used to come on to play quote games with the Porchies. I did some movie quotes. I posted some poems. I still go to the porch sometimes where that stuff is still allowed to be posted. I am pretty much in the shit house here so it doesn't matter.
the same has happened to others in the past as well anon, anons who came in hurting, other blues with issues, people aren't always kind but you cannot tar all with the same brush
TJ then maybe you shouldn't give other people shit for less offenses like not backreading. Some people aren't on here all the time and don't have that much free time and come on when they can.
the same has happened to others in the past as well anon, anons who came in hurting, other blues with issues, people aren't always kind but you cannot tar all with the same brush
I didn't. Some people's behavior was disgusting. Not everyone.
my apologies then, to you too, 1:15. i forgot that the anons who lurk see all, know all, and never make mistakes.
well terms like "a bunch of you people here" isn't terribly specific now is it?
my apologies then, to you too, 1:15. i forgot that the anons who lurk see all, know all, and never make mistakes.
No one said I never made mistakes but get a little perspective. It's not a crime to not have alot of time to read this blog.
EP a bunch does not mean "all".
1:14, it does matter. It matters to me.
Hoping we can all get along soon. The anons need to step up if they have something to say...say it in blue.
...
Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. ♥ you!!!
P.S. Hang in there. If you need me, I am here. No worries about what is going on in my own...that will work itself out; just wishing you all the best.
Ok, I really shouldn't check back before I close out the computer.
Anon, may I ask you, do you want this blog to be better? What exactly do you want to see in the future?
I'm not being confortational, I just would like to know.
Hey Anon?
Blogger Amyranth said...
BC, not horrible. Just kind of floaty, I guess.
9:48, one day at a time, right?
Solly, I had no idea about your little cousin. It seems to be an all around shitty day doesn't it? I'm glad you were able to talk about it though. It's better to open up about these things.
-A
September 24, 2008 10:03 PM
Suck my dick.
Don't you EVER tell me that "certain people" on this blog are less compassionate than others.
We've all gone through our shit, and we all know how to react to one another. It's not for you to decide how we should respond to one another, and if you've come here to chew us out for that, you can go fuck yourself.
-A
I will have to stop now because I do have work tomorrow and it is now after midnight. Plus if I keep going I know even the porchies will tell me to stop because it's not worth it.
But I want to say I agree with the other anon who was proud of Mayo for what he did tonight. He took Solly's part when anons were telling her "stay on the porch with the porchies". He stood up for what was right.
MAYO made the true "fix" by saying what he said.
I will have to stop now because I do have work tomorrow and it is now after midnight. Plus if I keep going I know even the porchies will tell me to stop because it's not worth it.
But I want to say I agree with the other anon who was proud of Mayo for what he did tonight. He took Solly's part when anons were telling her "stay on the porch with the porchies". He stood up for what was right.
MAYO made the true "fix" by saying what he said.
Never mind, anon. Just never mind.
Goodnight again, everyone.
SAINTY!!
Your worried about me??
Aww, you love me. :)
I LOVE YOU TOO! ;p No, I am fine loves, I have been running around like a nutcase this weekend, actually. I have gone to start my mail replies and been interrupted about six times now. I felt it was just futile after that last attempt... And my sis just called in the middle of my comment -back there! Do I sound insane and confused? I kinda was! I'm so sorry to worry you! I'm alright! How are you love??
Oh yes -and about the circus... I will the lion taimer, because I dig those boots, the pants, the vest.. nothing whatsoever to do with the whip..
And YOU, My Elena -you will be the FEARLESS, MYSTERIOUS, AND EVER SEDUCTIVE (dangle beaded, flaming green bikini wearin') TRAPEZE DANCER!!
(And we'll totally have an affair. It will be scandolus! Remember the whip?? I'm so excited!!) ;p
Did I miss Mayo back there? Was he trying to fix our borken home? Save us daddy!
Um, eew? Did that just creepy? It did huh... Alrighty. I'll just stop There... eee.
Hello to Amyranth! Hello To Ergo! Hello to Anima! Hello to.... uh -ANYONE! Feelin the love tonight ladies! Hope you are all well and can spread it around some more!!
-Why now, does everything I say sound so ...um, disturbing? Fuck it!! Love ya guys! Elena -no worries, you will hear from me tonight! I am costume bumrushing at the moment!! Love you, kiss you -behave yaz!! grrr! Arrg! ;p
You and your friends weren't too nice about the suicidal friend though were you?
"Suck my dick."
"you can go fuck yourself."
"
If you can't have a POLITE discussion about anything, without resorting to name-calling, derogatory talk, or even threats, you do not even have a right to open your mouth"
I wonder who said that.
lewishasfallensloppydead , Mayo came on and told anons who were picking at Solly and the porchies and ANYONE who were trying to tell them what they could or couldn't write on HIS blog to get the fuck out.
Well I would hope to hell Mayo would stand up for Sdock if she was being treated badly by anons.
I would hope to hell he would stand up for each and every one of us....
Oh wait, I'm sure he would.
Mayo's words. This was after people were picking at Solly and telling her that her words and the words of the porchies didn't belong here.
Anonymous said...
If I were to tell you all that she was asked to return, what would you say then?
"It isn't the same without you..."
(Each and every one.)
And I would name you all if I could, but time would not allow it.
So, I will say this: "If you don't like it, get the fuck out."
October 27, 2008 9:08 PM
Anonymous Anonymous said...
9:49,
Don't try to bait me.
For those of you who think they know what I do and do not wish to read, don't put words in my mouth.
I never fake it.
Most know me when they see me.
And to those who do, thanks for all of your incredible interpretations of my story.
October 27, 2008 9:59 PM
I think Mayo's message was pretty clear.
Absolutely, Elena. I do believe he would stand up for all. And I would think that he wouldn't care much for a anonymous person attacking ANYONE on his blog.
I could be wrong, but that's how I feel.
Hey 1:24, have some perspective before you go to bed.
Just make sure you chew on it, you don't wanna choke.
Bleeding Chaos said...
Goodnight solly, you have my condolences *hugs*
September 24, 2008 10:07 PM
Blogger Original Punk J said...
Yeah, Amy, that'll do. Ta.
*passes L her glass*
You know, the idea of suicide is a terrible one. This poor woman does need to contact someone who has professional training in that area. It's not something to joke about. I hope she's alright in the long run.
September 24, 2008 11:01 PM
Do you think she is really going to go to medical school or ANY school? I doubt it. All talk to make it look like she cares about anything aside from herself.
September 24, 2008 10:53 PM
Anonymous hold on said...
National Suicide Hotlines USA
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-273-TALK
1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
September 24, 2008 10:53 PM
Blogger toujours said...
that song was always on the radio in those first months after my husband left. even though it was overplayed, i liked hearing it, because it was such a kind song, and made me feel like someone cared that i was sad.
that's very thoughtful of you to post it, 9:52.
hello everyone.
September 24, 2008 10:00 PM
:)
-A
You want to fix things at Mayonaise's? Why not give the stage to someone else once in awhile? Constant self-centered posts, be they about what you're doing every exact second of every day, or posts as "Random Televison Character" really monopolize the conversation. Is that fair to anyone? Nope.
What's that? Scroll past it? You know, that would be a genius idea, if it didn't make up 75% of the blog replies. Ignore, ignore all you want, but it is still there. It's still used to derail current topics of conversation. It's used to force people to stop talking, and it's used for attention. It's beyond pathetic.
What bothers me is when the posts are nothing but blather. Posting as TV characters, posting poetry constantly, especially when it's randomly inserted into a conversation, posting song lyrics when nobody's discussing songs. Stuff like that.
That's where I think there is a lack of respect. I've lurked many times on the blog, with nothing of worth to say.
You left out a lot there Amyranth.
And you forgot something.
"Suck my dick."
"you can go fuck yourself."
"
If you can't have a POLITE discussion about anything, without resorting to name-calling, derogatory talk, or even threats, you do not even have a right to open your mouth"
I wonder who said that.
Um, the Sept 24 post from the nasty anon wasn't supposed to be in there.
But you get my point.
-A
It's not something to joke about.
yet Dickweed did. And the anons took up oh at least 75 % or the replies that night telling Kapu to kill herself instead didn't they?
I do believe I have read the incident and what I actually see is people expressing condolences and anons attempting to cause trouble and blues ignoring that, not the people in grief, unless you have some other incident which I have missed?
1:31, small beans considering someone on here was told to crawl back up inside their mother and be aborted.
Wanna talk nasty? That's NASTY.
-A
Oh! Thanks so much 1:5/1:27! I do so appreciate it! There are some very important times that he can be as clear as cellophane. Good on ya Mayo!
But just like Elena and OPL said -I would fucking expect No Less. I miss our family. ALL OF THEM. To each their own, but coexisting is a group effort -anon's included. So thank you, 1:25/27. As I said, I appreciate you bringing it up for me. I am out of my time for here tonight. But I hope everyone can find some commonground and enjoy the remander of the night.
I owe some people emails and comments. -And I forgot to tell OPL -that I have greedy fingers.... she'll know what I mean! ;) Please be well guys, and spread the love yea?? Oh, eww. Hell! Goodnight Lovely's!
The point is that they were mostly ignored and one of them was treated like shit when they were having a bad night. Then tonight TJ comes in here bitching that no one is backreading enough and everyone rushes to console her. Meanwhile when Dickweed came on and "made his opinion" that K was nothing but an attention whore for talking about her suidical friend you all congratulated him.
You are full of shit and I'm glad that Mayo basically said that it is not up to anyone but HIM what belongs on this blog.
1:31, small beans considering someone on here was told to crawl back up inside their mother and be aborted.
Wanna talk nasty? That's NASTY.
-A
But YOU were the one preaching about not saying nasty things to people Amy.
Looks like Mayo likes the "blather". ;D
Let it be anons. Mayo said how he felt and that should be the final word. If anything was going to dethrone Amyranth from her job as the dictator of what is "blather" and what isn't it would have been Mayo's words tonight. it either sinks in or it doesn't and it looks like it doesn't so there's no use in taking up space to beat it in. His eyes are open and he said his piece.
1:35, that's bull and you know it.
Dickweed was just being a regular anon when they got dragged into this, and I'm going to drag them out.
Leave them alone. Your dead horse beating can go elsewhere. In fact, since you seem to have such a horrible problem with me, why not take it to MY blog? That way, I can decide if I want to read your B.S instead of you subjecting my friends to it.
-A
1:35, that's bull and you know it.
Dickweed was just being a regular anon when they got dragged into this, and I'm going to drag them out.
Nope. I saw a scared person come on here afraid for her friend and get called an attention whore for her troubles. Then I saw you all congratulating the person who said it.
True, 1:39, true.
Anonymous said...
Looks like Mayo likes the "blather". ;D
Actually it looks like Mayo likes all of us which is what he's said all along.
But of course there are those who will try to twist this into something else. They will try to make this a "Mayo likes one group better than the other."
And to that I simply call "bullshit"
1:41, you don't get it.
DW isn't every single nasty anon on here. Way to scapegoat again. Did you finally catch them all in the pens?
So, if you're here to whine and bitch and complain about the blog, why don't you go somewhere else?
Or did you not read what Mayo said earlier?
:)
-A
Anonymous said...
Let it be anons. Mayo said how he felt and that should be the final word. If anything was going to dethrone Amyranth from her job as the dictator of what is "blather" and what isn't it would have been Mayo's words tonight. it either sinks in or it doesn't and it looks like it doesn't so there's no use in taking up space to beat it in. His eyes are open and he said his piece.
October 28, 2008 1:39 AM
QFT
Forget them Amy. Their minds are made up for whatever the hell reasons they have. They just will not leave you alone. You're their favorite punching bag now.
BTW, I was the hold on anon that night. It was horrible of me to post the suicide hotlines and website information for Kapunua to give to her acquaintance. Which I was never thanked for. Nope, not one word of acknowledgement or thanks for trying to help the situation. Double standards. There sure are.
Can you ever forgive me oh high and mighty, perfect anon who seems to enjoy beating people up?
Bye.
please forgive me if mistaken, but how is posting the suicide prevention numbers bad?
I did the same for cupcake when she was in a similar situation, and I even made sure they were the local ones for her, as it is something that a professional who has experience should deal with, and talking to someone in that field is vital. I also recall telling her to turn off the computer and call them right away.
So was I ridiculing her? I think not.
I was also very upset at one time, on another forum ad the people there were understanding but made a strong point of telling me to call and talk to someone real, in my life, not on the internet.
I just cannot see how that is a bad thing
1:49, that explains the sore rib.
-A
Ergo, you're golden.
:)
-A
Once again
Ergo for President
thanks amy, I just don't get that, the other later anons, horrid, but that one I just don't get why.
must go titoring now, bye all see ya later
xx
Anyway Lovelies, I need to get to bed.
Goodnight Girls, Mayo and SS!
-A
I didn't think it was a bad thing either EP. Apparently, all of us there that night are horrible people in the eyes of a few. What can you do? Did I expect a thank you for providing the information to the hotlines and website? No..
not really. But damn. How long is this other anon(s) going to beat up on Amy for that night and for her suggestions for a fix? How many times is Dickweed going to be dragged through the mud for speaking his mind? The Solly basher this afternoon was wrong. These Amy and Dickweed bashers are wrong. I've had enough of watching Amy get hit day after day, night after night. Seriously.
Bye.
Anons (those who keep bring up the past)
Please stop. Hopefully the "porchies" as they are called, (and I hate that there different groups here) will come back where they belong.
But for this to happen the negativity needs to stop!
Stop bringing up all the old shit. We can't move foreword if the muck holds us back.
Oh and I'm sure they will tell you the same thing.
This NEEDS to stop NOW.
Hi elena and ergo!
Goodnight amy. :)
Is there still a bunch of bullshit here?
I sincerely hope not.
I went on an unexpected journey so I wasn't linked to the internet. Catching up is most likely beyond my meager abilities.
I suffered a loss last week that is just now sinking in, so I am still in the grieving process.
I am not in the mood for bullshit, so if it still reeks, I will leave.
i don't like anyone getting bashed here. however i know that when you have a strong view you end up arguing
Anon - please don't take 'bashing' here that seriously.
I once did, but I recognize my ignorance, now.
mayo,
i'm truly sorry. i let my mood do my commenting for me. i should know better by now.
i won't be around much longer to screw up, anyway. not that i want to leave, but once i'm back in seattle, i won't have a functioning computer, nor will i have much time to use a computer at a library. i'm going to be scrambling to stay afloat for awhile, and that's likely not going to leave me much free time.
but maybe it's for the best. i don't know.
and even after a night like tonight, i still can say that i'm going to miss being here, very much.
good night.
Mayo
Well I had a damn good day. See my “hope” that I had last night for today worked out. Did you need that “hope”? Did you use it?
Anyway, Stormy (yep that’s my youngest) and I spent the day together and it was perfect. We shopped and talked. I was shocked when we stopped at Starbucks and I checked the blog and found you’d posted and she wanted to talk to you. I must have looked shocked because she just laughed and said, “Well I can talk to him, you know.”
So I let her make our comment. I rolled my eyes when she told you we took a “personal health day”. Let me translate that one. She pretended to be sick so she could skip school. Yeah, I know that’s not good but you know what? She gets very good grades and I think that once in a while it’s a good thing to take some time off. She and I needed to spend time together. Oh and yeah, I did cringe when she asked me what I wanted to add and it was the part about “never being too late to say fuck.” I know 16 year olds use the word a lot but still it was a little weird having her type that in.
Our day was one that we filled with good memories. We even bought matching hats and she took our pic and told me to post it in my goodnight. When I asked why she said that since she talked to you she thought you should know what she looks like.
Stormy & Me
Another thing that made me smile about our day was that she got up extra early and made a mix CD for us to listen to in the car. She filled it with music we both like. Songs by “Something Corporate”, “Dashboard Confessional”, “MCR”, Jimmy Eat World”, “Jack’s Mannequin” and “Taking Back Sunday”. It’s a great mix. We talked about music groups and she really surprised me with her knowledge of MCR. I mean I knew she liked their music but because I like them I pretty much thought that would mark them with the kiss of death. But no, she knows a lot about the group and must check out photos on the Net because she mentioned how she really liked Gerard’s boots at the Scream Awards. Her exact words were “he really rocked them.” It was nice being about to talk about things that we realize we have in common. Hell, it was just plain nice being together and not arguing.
Well I’ve got a sink full of dishes calling to me. Mayo, thanks for the Halloween story. Stormy really liked it. She said it was creepy in a good way. When I read it I could visualize it and yeah, goose bumps. You are in fact one hell of a writer.
Night Mayo
Elena (so are you gonna dress up for Halloween?)
Goodnight TJ and elena.
TJ
You did not screw anything up. Holy shit woman you had a bad patch as my grandma used to say. We all have those. Don't think for one minute that you can just disappear from my life. I won't let that happen and you can't disappear from here. You are an important part of this blog. We all are important to this. We all need each other. I promise tomorrow will be better. Trust me I know that you just have to hold on when things get crappy cause they will get better. Sleep well my friend.
Oh hi Miranth
Are you gone already?
No, I am still here.
I am writing a post as a tribute to my friend.
Is TJ ok? I hope so. She's a sweetie. :)
Are you ready for Halloween?
(Delete was mine - a key stuck on this awful laptop)
Yep Miranth she is a sweetie. She's also a very strong, intelligent, kindhearted woman who was having a bit of a bad day. I'm sure she'll be fine. I have faith in her.
hi again
HI miranth, if you want to talk you can email me, and if your tribute is on your blog I'll have a look later. I'm really sorry for your loss
elena I agree, I am so tired of all the stuff going on
and lovely pic of you two!
TJ you haven't screwed up, don't be silly. Noone with your interests at heart see it that way
an anon saw a weakness and hurt you with it, don't take them to heart, it really is selling yourself short
oh elena!! I see the pendant I gave you :D
and Stormy certainly resembles her mum, you both look gorgeous
I am sure she'll be fine too, but I hope things here don't get to her.
Its easy to say, 'just let others' negativity go' - and enjoy your friends' company.
But its harder to do, sometimes.
I think those that try to cause dissension know that, unfortunately.
Karma will out in the end, though.
I know it.
Also I feel bad for not backreading, but I am sharing a few computers with several people and I do what I can. (My ancient Mac is in storage.)
And Homework Comes First.
Sorry guys. :(
Everyone else I know is in flux (like TJ) and their computers aren't available either. So I can't catch up.
Also I am afraid that mean anons' comments will be ascribed to me if I am on simultaneously - and that offends me, so I will only come here when most others are asleep.
Mayo probably knows where I live., too.
:D
Did I miss pictures, ergo?
Yep Ergo I wear the pendant you sent me all the time. I love it.
I won't tell Stormy that you think there is a resemblance. Pretty sure that wouldn't make her happy.
awww it should!
tell her she is a very pretty girl then, she has a lovely smile
miranth in elenas post and I have one of me on my profile if you would like to see
I will wear my halloween socks to work this week :]
Are you all ready for Halloween Ergo?
How about you Miranth?
ergo - you have mail! :) I looked at elena's and didn't see pictures. I saw yours and love them. Australia is such a beautiful country.
And the people are warm hearted too. (I met many in Britain.)
:)
elena - None of my costumes are fitting me properly at this time. It's positively indecent! :) I lost a favorite peasant blouse, but I will make do. (A tank under the corset will suffice.) - I am an elf, BTW. :) But I may become a vampire if I get bored over the weekend!
I still have to get candy though.
Are you ready? I really liked your decorations - and the trick-or-treaters will enjoy them too!
I'm still working on pulling my costume all together. Guess I should get on that. LOL
just up ^^ in her goodnight
thanks too for looking at the pics, I really enjoyed sharing them
if you ever get the chance come visit!
thanks for the email, so tragic, your post at your blog is lovely too
elena
my little computer corner is all halloweened
and we have some candy etc ready, but should I wait until your 31st?
Elena - If I ever have a child, I hope we are close like that. :)
She's adorable and so are you.
:)
Well I'm not sure Ergo...
No I think you should use your 31st
I mean you are starting an Australian Halloween tradition.
Thanks Miranth she is adorable, isn't she?
That's my baby. Wow, where did time go?
Elena - she is still very young - and needs your perception and guidance - but I sense that she appreciates your care.
:)
But, yes, time does pass so quickly.
I have friends my age that are grandparents!
That's a scary thought for Halloween.
:D
Scary thought indeed, Miranth.
Well I better try to catch a few winks.
take care
Goodnight Elena!
:)
Night Miranth
sorry I disappeared but hubby came home
goodnight elens , miranth sweet dreams
elena
Talk to ya tomorrow, Ergo
Say hello to the hubby for me
"elens"
Thought I had a new name for a minute there. LOL
Mayo, what has happened to your beautiful community?
Why is everyone turning on each other? Since when did we even so completely engage with mean anon's? I realize that the "just ignore" method never really worked so well. But it did, for a little while didn't it? We could simply ignore and move on in the conversation. Whomever the vile anon was, would inevitably get bored and cease.
Do you know what this place feels like right now? It feels like walking into A VERY PERSONAL WAR. And those of us stuck in the middle are just screaming for the fucking bombs to stop. Does this shit really have anything to do with "mean anons" -even if it appears to be them continuing it?? I really don't think so.
What the fuck ever happened to the "If you can't say anything nice.." idea? Why do I feel like I have to explain, as if to a child -what to do if you cannot get along with another? It's simply NOT fair to make others FEEL they have to Leave OR Stay. Nor is it fair to either Blatantly OR Quietly pick on Someone Who Has Stayed.
Even if we don't all like each other, my god... Could we all just grow the fuck up? It's called manners. We can all share the toys can't we??
Have the people I have come to care for, Respect even, have we all forgotten, in the very LEAST -how to be fucking CIVIL? This is just getting -well hell, loves. It's past disheartening. It's past infuriating. It's past annoying. Now it is just disgusting. I expected so much better of everyone. ANONS INCLUDED.
Before I started posting here, I used to just read and read -everything. Why? Because of the people. I loved to read you all -interacting together. And it was those friendships that brought me out of my dark little hole and got me talking to all of you. I love you guys. I feel so connected to you all. I feel like you guys can understand me, when no one else can.
But now? Lately? You just kill me. And look around you all -is anybody else so damn happy too?? Is everything so much better now? Is that why we are all bickering and fighting and hating -- have we all fallen in love with each other here or fucking what...
Hell, I don't even know how to end this stupid comment. Is there even a reason for typing it anymore? I wish everyone could just TRY to get on with each other. Anon's, you too PLEASE. What the fuck is the point of arguing? What the fuck is the point of bringing up past shit? I can tell you, while I haven't read every damn comment that's been given to Mayo's (certainly not recently), I have read enough to know that EVERYONE has been hurt by another. Whether anon or blue -holding the gun. It's an ugly truth. But we all have bad days. We all have regrets for shit we have said and done. I wish people could see that. And understand that what we have now -is Not Better.
While we all may not get on, while we may not all even like each other -we can try can't we? We can make the effort for the greater good? We used to comfort each other so easily. Anon's, blues. We used to all show so much care. Why and when did that stop? Why did the abuse even Start? Does Everyone even regret how things went down? Is there such a thing as an apology anymore? Or a Truthfully Accepted Apology? Does any of that exist any more? Does it even matter to some of you now?
I think the heart of this blog is still worth saving -and it's not just Mayo alone folks. It's all of us TOGETHER. He gave us a gathering place. And just look at the mess we have made of it. And on such a post? I can't be the only one to have caught the warning in Mayo's new words. Can I? This pettiness is just destroying everything that beautiful effort MADE TOGETHER had created. Why can people not see this?
No one seems to want to end this. No one seems to want to take responsiblity for the mess either. We are all at fault for this shit. And we are the only ones who can clean it the fuck up.
One last time -could we please all just try to get along? Anon's, you too. PLEASE. This shit just can't make anyone feel good, ya know? I refuse to believe that. If 3 year olds can play nice -even if they don't want too -I think we fucking adults can make it through a few comments Together. And if we can't... well then we seem to deserve our fucking misery, don't we? And maybe I am alone in this, but something tells me, if we keep up this ugly shit -we will not have a home to destroy, much longer. Maybe that is the point of this horrid war.
--
Do you see the comments above me? Miranth came in here looking for comfort. And with just a few simple words from Elena and Ergo -she seems to have left feeling a little better. THAT is what this place used to be. THAT is the affection and respect I EXPECTED everyone to show for EACH OTHER. THAT is what I hope this place and all of us, can be once more. But seriously, everyone MUST know how to achieve that, right?
TOGETHER.
Is it even worth it to speak from your heart here anymore?
Goodnight guys. Sorry for my rant. Just all those pages of bullshit. I really wish it would stop. It makes me sick to read it. I don't know all the details, hell I am missing some of the bigger pieces too -but I wish everyone actually wanted to resolve the issues. It just doesn't feel like everyone does. I hope everyone is doing better tomorrow.
-loves
Bye guys - I'll be back when I can.
Wendy - My friend is looking for a place to book his band in N.O. Do you have any connections? Its for mid-Jan.
Thanks! :) I hope you are feeling better? Give me a call or I will call you. Been busy with all kinds of problems recently. I'm trying to pull it together. Some friends are angry at me because usually I am the magician who makes things happen. Sometimes my powers are at an ebb, but I do what I can.
[They think I am fucking things up on purpose!!!!] :( And I am not talking about friends with bands!
BC - Email me if you still have email. If not, I will email you shortly. I hope I have the correct address. Good luck and love and *hugs* in any case!
Mayo - A lot of us are always late - and a clue short into the bargain. Please read my blog this time. I need to pass it on. Its important.
He would care. And -
Mayo - I was beginning to think you didn't give a shit again - especially about people being Kind human beings. I still think you don't have a FUCKing clue. I know I don't. And sometimes I have little faith.
It happens.
Call me human.
Bye -
Best of luck to all of you.
:)
Do any of you even read this drivel?
fuck.
LEWIS!!!!!
*SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS*
More of what the blog needs :)
(My power may be at low ebb, but I can still sense these things!)
Lewis - You are also right about respect.
I don't know what mayo said. But, I do NOT think it should be anything goes. No one's belief system trumps any others.
Its called 'belief' for a reason. I happen to be liberal. I do not disrespect those that are not liberal.*
*I CONVERT THEM.
:)
*Yes, usually I am successful - because I am respectful - and magical ;)
Damn, magical power come back to me!
(Ye of little faith.)
PS - And I knew Obama was in immediate danger, but he wouldn't be hurt.
I had a dream about it - last week. I scare myself sometimes. Secret Service should hire my ass.
Anyway, I do wish you all love and luck - and I will try to make it happen - despite my weakness, just now.
You deserve it.
:)
Good Morning, BlogBelieve!
It's Tuesday and that means we are one day closer to Halloween and candy and tricks and/or treats!
Have a great day!
ok I have read the comments from the night mentioned earlier
I do not agree with someone being told they are doing something for attention when it is potentially serious, but I do very clearly recall the same being said to others in similar situations, by other people, and I didn't agree with it then either.
However anyone should be able to overlook the opinion of some person who they are never likely to meet and who really has no influence on their life whatsoever.
Allowing any poster, be it anonymous or not to affect your actions so greatly is giving them too much power over your life.
I learnt not to do it for students in my real world, and I sincerely encourage anyone to do it in the blog world also.
However to include anons who were the ones making the derogatory comments in "a bunch of you people" is insulting and I don't see anyone refusing to "spare time" for any of those women and if you would like to find any recent examples of that be my guest, if anything the recent atmosphere has been more like normal, bar the input of anons who appear hell bent on bringing up any past incident to try and put people down or make the blog that unpleasant they feel inclined to leave
Also barring proof of the time, as he characteristically does on his profile, I don't like to completely presume anyone is Mayo. As to speak in the style of another is not at all difficult, and anons would have every motive to try and use him to further their own point.
If that was the case, then I would hope they would be ashamed of themselves. If indeed it was Mayo what I heard was he appreciates everyone, regardless of the opinions of anyone else.
lewis Love the rant! you said so much of how I feel, esp the just screaming for the fucking bombs to stop
'night miranth, I saw about those apparent neo nazis, I really wasn't aware they had to put so much thought into the outfits they would wear
morning sdock!
you're getting up, I'm off to shower before bed, have a good tuesday
Mayo,
Hey, how are you? It was nice to see you drop by last night. I wish you could do that more often and with a lot less bullshit. What can I say? Sometimes I let them get to me and push my buttons and that's a failure on my part. It does no good to engage, so I'm sorry for that.
I'm going to try and have a better day than yesterday. I failed at yesterday all the way around. There was no reason for me to make it a shitty day. It was the same as every other day, but different and I couldn't spot the differences. It frustrated me. I did my best to sit quietly but that is so not like me that everyone kept asking me what was wrong to which I replied, "I hate today." How ridiculous was that? I always feel quilty when I let myself waste away a day being pissed off at what amounts to nothing but being pissed off at myself for doing nothing.
So I am making a promise to myself to try and not let that happen again today.
I'm just hoping that I don't run into some creepy kids jumping rope with your innards.
Great visual!
But, of course knowing me as terribly as I do, I know that I will have to lean and step in for a closer look.
"Are those kids jumping rope with what I think they're jumping rope with? And why on earth did it leave an inky (black, I assume) trail?"
Bwah!
Today is better already!
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Maybe it was the result of parasitic poetry.
Ergo,
Have a nice shower and sweet dreams! Seeya in your tomorrow!
Mayo
loved your story
it was really well written and very thought provoking, did you ever think it could have so many interpretations!?
“It's as much fun to scare as to be scared.”*
isn't that the truth!
Hoping you have a gore tingling halloween planned
wishing you goosebumps, spine tingles, cold chills and .......
OH MY GOD WHAT"S THAT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!
;]
much love EP xx
SS
"A man who limits his interests, limits his life.”*
I know you have many, varied interests and thank you for sharing some of them with us. Hoping you might share a little goulish glee with us again this year. Hope you are heading to a gruesomely great halloween too
sending you headless horsemen, malevolent mummies and worrying werewolves
(but only for fun)
lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve, see you in my morning
♥xx♥
*Vincent Price
Morning all.
Ergo,
The Antipodes is the place to find the spunky blokes, for sure! ;)
Mayo,
You do it and you do it so well. Good to see you around.
Elena,
Lovely to meet your youngest. It looked like a great day out.
Your orb photos are still freaking me! O_O
Miranth,
Sorry to read of the loss of your friend. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected.
Kapunua,
All the best for your interview today!
TJ,
Belated congratulations to your Mum and stepDad on their 25th anniversary. =)
Lewis,
Fabulous words! Thank you for sharing them and giving us all perspective. =)
Triston,
Haven't got a clue without googling, sorry!
Er, when might that be permitted? ;)
616,
Oooh, footage?! See you soon!
And because Mayo started it with the rope, and I'm a metalhead hippy
*lights incense*
*drapes lovebeads around necks*
Let's try to play nice.
Peace dudes and dudettes!
'Night. =)
PP - :) I really have to go - I just checked back - but I appreciate your kindness.
And its Wonderful to see you!
:)
PS - Hi Solly - have a nice day - and bye for now ergo!
Good morning Mayo,SS and Lovelies!
I don’t have much time,I’m going to leave for University in less than an hour,but wanted to wish you all a great day.
Hey,Mayo.
Wow.This post is...beautiful.
I see my friends came up with brilliant interpretations of your story,and I don’t know if what I’m about to say is somehow fitting,but I got a hopeful vibe from the final lines.
It seems to me that little child was giving you a chance by saying “it’s your turn”,as if he was inviting you to take control of yourself once and for all after you had let the others decide what to do with “the end of you” for too much time.
Does it make any sense,Mayo?
I hope it does because if that’s the case you sure as hell have given us a piece of good advice,my friend.
Or maybe you’re just saying we smokers should quit... :)
Thank you for sharing this and for saying what you said last night.
Take care of yourself.
SS,have a wonderful day and take care of yourself as well!
Guys,it’s soo good to see you all here!
MissT,hope you feel better soon!
Alby,thanks for your email.I’ll send you one later today.
I miss you too!
*BIG HUG*
*waves to Anima,Lewis,Ph and Miranth*
Right,I’m off.I’ll see you later.
Love you all!
*HUGS & KISSES*
You can google me anytime you like. ;)
Here's one I used to like to play when I was still learning...I am still learning.
Still Relative
I couldn't sleep hardly at all last night! Tossing, turning and being nervous. O_O
Anons from last night, who hung out with us and were standing up for us: Thanks! Seriously, thanks, but also seriously, it's cool to let it go. Certain people are entitled to their opinion of me and of my friends. You apparently are not entitled to yours of them. But please please come play with us on the porch if you've got poetry or whatever you want to share. :) It was just as meaningful of you to say your words as it was for Mayo. :D
I appreciate both, and all!
Well! so I woke up today and it's this huge rainstorm and I have to drive like seventy miles or some crap! Still, as soon as I saw the rain I was filled with hope. What a lovely day.
Welllll... I can't put it off any longer. So, here I go! ^_^
Anonymous said...
9:49,
Don't try to bait me.
For those of you who think they know what I do and do not wish to read, don't put words in my mouth.
I never fake it.
Most know me when they see me.
And to those who do, thanks for all of your incredible interpretations of my story.
October 27, 2008 9:59 PM
Anonymous said...
Really? You never fake it 9:59?
October 27, 2008 10:09 PM
Only for effect.
I think maybe Mayo was answering this question instead of whether his post was a dream or a story since he said it was a story in his comment. I was reading through this morning and it seemed to make sense to me. Just a thought. Sorry if it offends anyone.
wait this version kicks a little more azz
Have a great day everyone.
Oh! That makes sense, Anon!
Mayo,
You are bad. ^_~
Okay, I have a question for you, Mayo. Yes, I'm still hung up on doomsday. Sorry. :) If somehow you knew the world was going to end on an exact day and at an exact time what would you do differently now? Would things even matter anymore? The things that you care about now, would you still care? You know what I mean? Gah, I suck at explaining myself sometimes. Anyways, maybe you understand me. I guess what I'm saying is, preparing for the future would be pointless so what would you do? Your bucket list, so to speak? (Good movie by the way!)
You too, SS! Is there something that you have never done before that you would love to try if given the chance?
Okay, anyways!
Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday!
And as far as the mean anon(s) go and the shit stirrers:
Is it just me or does it seem like someone is playing both sides? There shouldn't even be sides but unfortunately that seems to be the case lately. If you guys can't see that, look a little harder. We all don't have to like one another. Just like I said yesterday, it would be boring as hell if we all agreed on everything but I think Lewis made an excellent comment this morning. Children behave better than this. It's crazy.
Anywayz!
LATER! ^_^
Okay, I shall step up. Hope this helps.
I apologise whole-heartedly for any harm that I have caused to anyone on this blog. If I have hurt you by what I have said or not said, done or not done then I am sorry. I shall endeavour to be courteous in my actions and words.
Gnothi Seauton
gnothi seauton, you are a very good person, and i know alot of people have missed you! It takes a very gracious person to say that and i just wish everyone would swallow their pride and do the same :)
GS,
That's exactly what this place used to be about. People used to care. It can get back to that, right? I hope so.
I never asked to be part of any crew. I don't think anyone that got lumped into the 'day crew' asked for that. It has to do with time zones and work hours. That's it. And most of us that come on during that time, enjoy the same things. It's not out of disrespect or to cause hurt feelings. I will not apologize for that. But to me, that should not even be an issue. This place is big enough for all of us. I think so anyway. Am I wrong?
I do apologize if I have ever hurt anyone here. It was never my intention to do so. I do mean that. Sincerely.
Well, anyways. Got work to do! See you guys after 5:00!
Gnothi Seauton, today could be the day it all changes here if everyone simply made an apology and vowed to be better in the future.
Thank you for stepping up and setting a great example.
I know you all can do it.
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything. ~Lynn Johnston
"today could be the day it all changes here if everyone simply made an apology and vowed to be better in the future.
"
But you see Smoke already said she wasn't sorry for what she did to the blog. She hinted at Amy's FIx and said that the things Amy said weren't even an issue. How can that be a real apology? She won't swallow her pride.
This won't work unless the porchies agree to NOT bring back the things that Amy spoke about in her Fix. These were the things that were ruining the blog and overrunning it for 110 % of the people on this blog.
How can things truly be "fixed" and start to heal if Smoke and the others won't even take the responsibility for their part in ruining it with their bad behavior? You may say it "isn't even an issue" but it obviously is, otherwise Amy wouldn't have had to write what she wrote and everyone wouldn't have agreed. Or most people maybe not everyone.
How is that fair?
It isn't.
And most of us that come on during that time, enjoy the same things. It's not out of disrespect or to cause hurt feelings. I will not apologize for that. But to me, that should not even be an issue.
Those were her exact words.
It IS an issue. And now it seems like you are going to start the blather again. The poems, the endless incessant quotes.
This pushes everything Amyranth wrote and worked to fix right out the door.
This is not a real apology. It is not a vow to not do those things again.
You need to read that again.You are AGAIN twisting people's words.She did say she was sorry if she had hurt people's feelings.You just hear what you want to hear.
Twisted Sister she said she was sorry for "hurting peoples feelings"> She did NOT say she was sorry for doing all the things that Amy said in the FIx. She SPECIFICALLY said she WASN'T sorry for doing those things. That is not a real apology. She is sorry to everyone except for those who were hurt by her games, quotes and poetry.
This pushes everything Amyranth wrote and worked to fix right out the door.
This isn't about amy. This is about people saying that they are sorry.This is about friends trying to repair their relationships.This is not about following one persons way TO FIX this blog.I wish you would quit speaking for other people. Let the people that are trying to work this out alone.
No, it IS abot the Fix. Amyranth said what she said to HELP. The things the porchies were saying were done to hurt people and start trouble. As Amy said. It's still used to derail current topics of conversation. It's used to force people to stop talking, and it's used for attention. It's beyond pathetic.
And before anyone says that Amy should apologize, she shouldn't. She wrote that to HELP where the poetry and quotes was only to exclude people and interrupt them.
And before anyone says Dickweed needs to apologize, HE DOESN'T. He was only giving his opinion on Kapunua, one that I and MOST PEOPLE agree with.
10:44, you need to learn to speak for yourself. When you speak on behalf of others it weakens your argument.
Nobody is asking for anyone to apologize. I just think for the one's that did, shows that they want to make things better,and by apologize i don't mean that they should give in to what they write about or who they talk to.
♥good morning♥
Anonymous said...
Nobody is asking for anyone to apologize. I just think for the one's that did, shows that they want to make things better,and by apologize i don't mean that they should give in to what they write about or who they talk to.
I agree anon but I would like to add that while they shouldn't give in to what they write of who they talk to - EVERYONE needs to take other peoples feelings into consideration. We All need to play nice with each other. We all need to be tolerant of things that we might not particularly like. Remember just because you don't like it someone else might. Let's face it we're not all gonna have warm fuzzy feeling towards everyone here but that doesn't mean you can't be pleasant.
Hi guys
I start I ;anuary and nt only that but I am
I need my psspotr updated necause
Going t China in April!
More later, long drive home
I'm very happy for you kapunua! :)
I totally read that as "pisspot" the first time. :) Congrats!
YAY! That's wonderful, Jules! I'm so happy for you!!! ^_^
And I ♥ the crackberry. Hee-hee.
Bwahahaha! Me too!
Congrats K
that's great news
HOOTAH! Look, and I made it home in under an hour too! The drive is not so long if you know how to ride the LIE hard and put it away wet.
Carrie, I may need that pisspot; from what I understand, the toilets in China are questionabe.
I have a long list of gratitudes to write. Back later! :D
LMAO look how much everyone obviously cares Kapu!! Hahahaa stupid bitch
And please don't be a doctor. Doctors have to be compassionate and show kindness to others and be fair. You have NEVER been fair or compassionate. You have hurt so many with your poetry and quotes and games after you were repeatedly asked to stop. What if a patient asks you to stop something. Will you be able to or will you just keep on doing it because "you're right" and "it SHOULDN'T hurt".
shut up 3.39.
massive congratulations K!!
You have hurt so many with your poetry and quotes and games after you were repeatedly asked to stop.
sorry i missed you anon.
erm...how can it hurt?? why so dramatic anon? that's my role!
i can understand that people might get annoyed at alot of poetry, if it isn't their thing. or if the game that is being played isn't their thing. or if the movie quotes mean fuck all to them
but hurt is pretty extreme!
anon at 3:39
You are one sad puppy. Does it really make you feel good to be so nasty? Do you type something like that and sit back, smile and feel proud?
If so then I'm right. You are sad.
♥♥
:)
for you, my heart
are you smiling?
(be well)
shit i just realised i haven't been in today so....
hi mayo! you good?
thanks for making a point about everything last night.
it probably won't help much as i sometimes wonder if some people really want peace here?
but good to read you!
hi SS! hope you are doing just fine and dandy.
lewis that was some rant btw!
long even by your standards but you said what others also think. good to read you.
shit i haven't properly caught up cos i am fucking crap. certain things leap out at me and then i miss others.
ok so i may have another little back read.
shit there i remembered something else!!
elena..hi there! the pic of you and your daughter is so lovely. beautiful!!
♥♥
are you hungry?
:)
(served to you with an extra helping of love)
Thank you guys, thanks so much! :D
I just wrote all about it in my blog and journal etc. but I still have yet to say the things I need to say to the people here. I have a lot of "thank you's" to do around and you know how long-winded I can get but in the meantime, a simple THANK YOU to you guys. ^_^
here love anon *throws a sharpie*, you might like this
haha a simple thank you is just fine K!
here 4:17
you might need to hear this
Congrats K!!! That is awesome news!
Keep us posted. :)
Hi Lewis, Miranth, Smoke, Solly, Carrie, Bella, TA, PP, Ergo, and GS, always lovely to see you!
Hi love anons. :)
FASC, I knew you would like that video! *hugs*
Elena, that photo is so beautiful!!
Mayo, I have to apologize - I missed your earlier comments last night until much later. I tend to scoll over a lot of the anon comments. And backreading when I leave for a bit, well, I suck at it. I was too late telling you thank you. Let's just say, my "Mayo-radar" is way off! You might need to thump me on my head next time!
Also, I agree with Elena - I do not think you are cool with the 'divide' and want everyone to stay. You want those who have left to return. Most importantly you not cool with the belittling that happens here. You did a fine job my friend. Sending you lots of ♥.
TJ, I just want to send you the biggest HUG ever! *HUGS you so tight*
And SS!!!! I forgot to say to you!
Sending you hugs too. :)
GODDAMNIT!
Those "poems" did not format the way I wanted them to. Now it doesn't make any sense at all. BLAH! Suck!
Hi Anima! :D
First I want to say to everyone here who encouraged me, and who had such kindness to offer to me--anons, blues, everyone--, thank you so much. As some of you have gleaned, the last twelve months have blown rabid badgers, with very few (though remarkable) exceptions. I lost a lot in the past twelve months, and more has happened that I don't feel comfortable talking about here anymore. (Yep, this is true. Dickweed's comment to me on that last night when I came on here unsure of what to do and worried for my friend was a kind of last straw. I used to feel I could come here and talk to my friends--you know, like everyone else does?--without being accused of having another motive during a crisis that I felt was serious. Even though before that night, I had lost my dog and been told by an anon that I was an "animal killer;" (oooh yeah! That's where my "NOW THAT IS NASTY" reply came from. Funny how that gets forgotten!) I had been teased about "losing" the guy I was seeing, and so on down the line until I lost my job. For some reason it was that one comment on that night when my friend was in trouble when I realised that I was on my own with this and could no longer talk openly at Mayo's.) In short, this year has sucked and sucked, sucked some more and then added a little more sucking for that added sucking effect. But there were those among you who always heard me out and always helped; even if it was just one word, it helped. Thank you for that. I can't repay you for your kindness to me.
To the friends I met here, thank you guys majorly. I have had the great good fortune to even meet some of you in person; thank you for sharing your grace and kindness with me in real time! I'm sorry if your association with me has ever gotten you picked on. I love you guys. You are poets and artists and thinkers and visionaries, do you know that? And you guys really encouraged me to follow this dream. On any given day I could wake up, go to my computer and read you guys' words to me, which always and to this day make me smile, even on the days I might not have felt like it. ^_^ I hope that I have done even a fraction of that for you guys.
Mayo, now you. So obviously, I would not be writing this if you hadn't decided one day that you wanted to keep a blog, and then subsequently decided to let us stay here. I am so sorry for what your blog has become. And I'm not talking about the poetry and quotes and whatnot: You have made clear by your words and your actions, and by playing along with us, that you enjoy those things with us. My apology to you is deeper than that. This is your blog and it should be your sanctuary, and not something that you have to "see to" or defend. You shouldn't have to defend us. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to make a point. Yet you do. I could be thanking you for that, but as with my regret, my thanks goes a lot deeper. It really is because of this blog that I am sitting here with my schedule for medical school classes in my hand.
Mayo, as I pulled up to the university today I was listening to Muse, and you know what song was playing? Hoodoo.
Do you remember the significance of that song?
One day were were discussing the lyrics;
nothing out of the ordinary for back then.
This was something we did all the time.
Before then we had been discussing
everything that was daunting,
and talking about things in our lives that
frightened us, and how tempting it was to
run away from them.
And the lyrics to "Hoodoo" were perfect.
I quoted them often, and you answered.
Do you remember?
Anyway, that was the song that was playing as I parked my car, and I thought of you. Thank you, Mayo! Your blog was the catalyst for this. And your involvement hasn't only been a passive one: you have been kind, helpful, and an inspiration to me.
S(S)S my subtle friend, I know that you know you are helpful to us, and an inspiration too, but I don't know if you realize the depth of this. Like I said to Mayo, I had Muse playing while I was driving there today, and the song "Invincible" came on. I will always associate this song with you. And to that end, I try to be like that; the way I think you do. You give so much and you stand up for what you believe in. There's no one like you in the universe.
On May 8th, it was a Thursday and I was having a really crappy day at work. I was trying to get the supervisor to listen to me about the stuff that had happened with those evil clients who hurt my friend. I had seen my soon-to-be ex-boss that morning and asked to talk to him and he brushed me off. Before then, the anons here were starting all that trouble; I don't have to get into that whole thing because you know how that ended up. Anyway, I knew that one way or another, somehow, the situation was only going to get worse. You know that horrible feeling you get when you know that the crap is turning the corner and the fan is right around it? That's how I felt, and that day, S(S)S, you made a post and in it you said, "To my dear friends who are lost, sick, weary, hurt or troubled - this is for you. Never give up fighting the good fight. I will be right there fighting alongside you, I promise."
Well, it meant so much. Without getting
overly effusive about it, I read your words
now and then throughout that ugly
day. I couldn't watch it, but knew what it was.
Everytime I'd get that awful feeling I would
remind myself of your post and the
feeling behind it
until the end of the day. By the way, your
link is broken. ^_^
The world can learn a lot from your grace, S(S)S.
I would be remiss not to thank one more party. To the anon who took it upon yourself to forward my call for help to the people who had hurt my friend, and who made sure to get me fired: Thank you most of all. You have been the biggest catalyst for change in my life. I suspect that you are the one who comes around here still saying things to me and picking on me. I know that you obviously feel enough malice towards me to do what you did, and still do. However, I have nothing but gratitude and affection for you, and I mean this quite sincerely. If you hadn't felt the way you did and done what you done, why, there would be no need for me to be renewing my passport. I would not be wondering what the weather is like in China in April. I would not be gearing up to watch House tonight and knowing that soon--soon!--I will be in a clinic of my own, trying to decide whether I should treat a case like Foreman, or Cameron, or Cuddy or House. ;D To the anon who got me fired, thank you so much. I am not being ironic. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. I go beyond forgiving you. I thank you, very, very much, from the bottom of my twisted, scientific yet utterly sincere heart. :D
To the anons who still wish to pick on me and who have told me that this was a stupid idea etc., thank you guys, too. You are more a crucible to my will than anything else and I owe you guys, too. :D
The rest of you I can ignore or laugh at, whoop whoop! ^_^
LOL@ me, I am so lame. :)
whoop whoop
^_^
Whoop squared. :)
Sorry about the deletions, I kept messing up my post. I suck! ^_^
And hello Anima!
"dont be afraid" "wonderful"? ummm ok LOL
While bullying is an issue that many children deal with and even accept as part of a normal childhood, doctors, researchers, and psychologists see it as “systematic abuse” that leads to the deterioration of school climate and culture (Dupper and Meyer-Adams, 2002), serious psychological problems in those who are victimized, and devastating violence in schools that are affected (Osler, 2006; Schäfer, 2005).
According to the Center for Children and Families in the Justice System, bullying is defined as "repeated and systematic harassment and attacks on others." Bullying can take many forms and consist of many different behaviors. Some of the forms and behaviors may include:
* name calling and put downs
* teasing
* spreading of rumors
* ignoring or leaving someone out
* physical violence and attacks (pushing, pulling, hitting)
* threats and intimidation
* stealing of money or other property
* exclusion from a group or club
* may be based on ethnicity, religion, gender, etc.
The characteristics of those who bully vary from a marginalized boy who bullies because he has low self-esteem to a group of very popular, smart girls who socially isolate a former group member because she didn’t conform. Sometimes it is an individual who is doing the bullying and sometimes it is a group. The important thing is not the action but the effect on the victim. No-one should ever underestimate the fear that a bullied child feels.(retrieved April 28th, 2005, from http://www.scre.ac.uk/bully/whatisbul.html)
Bullies are often stereotyped as a boy or girl who comes from an abusive home and is physically aggressive, has mental health issues, or is suffering from low-self esteem. Research shows, however, that many who bully are very bright, have high self-esteem, and are highly skilled at using their social skills in negative ways to bully and manipulate the student body as a whole, i.e., these same students are often very skilled at manipulating groups of students in order to strengthen their rank and social status (Olweus, 1995).
Dan Olweus, Professor of Psychology at the University of Bergen, Norway, has published extensive research on bullying. He indicates, “A student is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other students. Negative actions can include physical contact, words, making faces or dirty gestures, and intentional exclusion from a group. An additional criterion of bullying is an imbalance in strength (an asymmetric power relationship): The student who is exposed to the negative actions has difficulty defending himself or herself” (1995).
good morning
eh I don't wanna go to work.
but it has to be done
smoke I have said people are playing both "sides" since this began, it is blatantly clear. Even the inception of the whole "sides" business came from anons
and like GS I sincerely apologise for any harm I have caused anyone on this blog as well, and if I do anything which affects anyone that way I would appreciate it being made known to me via email
Well done K great that your heading on your new path.
You'll love China it is an amazing place with so many incredible things to experience. The toilets are often a hole in the ground with wooden foot pad either side, but it depends where you are, a lot of places have become quite westernised in that respect, but tit is certainly an adventure
Oh Ergo, that's right, you've been! Yeah, the toilet situation is a little daunting. Screw the political climate! I need to pee in comfort. ;D
Just when you think kapu cant get any lamer.
Anon, I can always get lamer. There's no bottom to this pit! ^_^
oh you get used to it, and on the whole (hole) they are kept very clean, and often there'll be a lady who stands there to hand you a towel etc when you wash your hands. If you go to hotels they are western.
How long are you there for and where are you visiting?
Interesting article on bullies
« on: October 13, 2006, 10:52:24 am »
Why Do Bullies Act So Bad?
Some bullies are just looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important — when they pick on someone else, it makes them feel big and powerful.
Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.
Sometimes a bully knows that what he or she is doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others.
Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on people who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on someone for no reason at all.
What Happens to Bullies?
In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.
Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don't get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as troublemaking losers.
The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways.
Some bullies realize that they need to change their behavior if they want to earn more respect and have more friends. Some bullies need to learn how to control their own angry feelings. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Some bullies never learn.
ooh hi anima!
hi ergo!
hi again K!
i wondered off and now i have to go!
ergo hope your day at work goes nice and fast!
anima 2 consecutive days here - for you and me!! lovely seeing your name!
shit you type fast K!
mayo and SS *hugs* to you both!
♥
Beautifully said Kapunua. This place has changed my life too. Amazing isn't it! I love that you have looked at these challenges here and made them into gifts. Even through the worst of times, we must always look for the gift it brings us...it's always been my survival tactic. I'm sorry to everyone who has been hurt here. I too am sorry if I ever hurt anyone.
Hmmm, we'll see about the potty thing. I'm not sure in what part of China or really any of the details, but it is for two weeks. It's mostly study but a big part of it is learning about the culture too, so I hope we get to see a lot of it. :)
Anon, aren't we all a little (or a lot) lame sometimes. ;)
Interesting article anon. I did a study on 'bullying' and helped develop a statistical test. It was really sad to read all the surveys that the kids submitted.
FASC, I know! Can you believe it! I love seeing you too my dear.
Hi Ergo!
Well, my friends I can't stay. I really need to get my work done.
Maybe I will be on later. I sure hope so.
♥ to all of you.
Hey everyone
it's a fabulous place, especially if you get the chance to get out of the usual tourist spots as well.
be prepared for it to be very very different. The poverty you'll see is overwhelming at times.
And don't whatever you do drink the water anywhere unless it is in a sealed container, and that includes unpeeled fruit and ice. The food on the other hand is amazing.
I had a friend work/study outside Beijing for 3 months and loved it, we travelled in southern China, but you will very likely get sick at least once.
hi fasc! thanks I hope it will go quick too!
Hi anima! ♥
Anima, why the hell do I keep missing you? JEEZ! ^_^
I am off to shower and try to get warmed up. Later guys! :D
Oh, Ergo! Good to know about the water. I will for sure keep that in mind. :)
hi BC are you online today?
bye anima
we have had to deal with a lot of bullying in the school, mostly it's kids who have no respect in their home, but some (esp the girls) just do it as they are manipulative. It seems to be getting worse though, but I find lately the level of workplace bullying studies have uncovered is astounding
Another interesting article from Pagan Bullies
But I'm Not a Bully! -- False Accusations
Sometimes bullies in the community are misidentified.
As stated elsewhere, many people who become Pagan are quite sensitive to the criticism of others because of past trauma or abuse. Unfortunately some who have experienced early trauma come to see abusive behaviour in every word and action, whether it truly exists or not. As a result of this distorted perception, they may over-react to quite harmless behaviour because they see it as threatening. Many people like this can be quite strident in their accusations, and completely unreasonable -- they were bullied by _________, and if you don't see that, then you must be a bully too! Sometimes these perpetual victims simply need to look in the mirror to see the real bully, but they are usually unable (or unwilling) to do so.
A bully is a person who:
bullet
refuses to acknowledge or accept responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences
bullet
is primarily concerned with their own pleasure
bullet
wants power over others, and is willing to use and abuse other people to get what they want.
bullet
is consistent with whatever type of abuse they specialize in - it occurs every time you see them, and not just when they are in a bad mood
bullet
is unwilling to recognize that there could be better ways of behaving. Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; they have to have someone to bully and appear to be unable to survive without a current target.
He who fights against monsters must beware lest he become one himself. . . when your gaze penetrates deep into the abyss, the abyss can penetrate deep into you.
~ Nietzsche in Beyond Good and Evil
the water is the worst threat to your enjoyment, ice got me, which is a pain, and it was in a restaurant but you learn fast (after the vomiting and diarrhoea stops) plus we took anti emetic and anti diarrhoea tablets with us and had al the vaccinations.
I only drank tinned drinks and tea as you have to be careful with bottled water as they will wash and refill them , and even if the water was ok, the washing will do it.
And you buy bananas, lychees etc not cut fruit or things like apples, and NOT watermelon (they soak them in water to make them juicier)
haha I'm probably turning you off! But it's better to know before you go and find out the bad way
I think you are right EP. I think a lot of it has to do with manipulation and a desire to gain control
over others, a place or a situation. It's a power trip. It is sad to see happen. In schools, in the workplace, anywhere.
Hi and bye Anima. Thanks for the hugs last night *hugs*
Hi there Ergo, I left a comment on your blog today. Online wise- I'm using my niece's computer, so I'm safe for a few hours. I'm gonna try to get mines fixed as soon as I get home.
Hi Faraway if you're still around. Thank you for the comment :)
Hi there anon.
Hi Bleeding C.
I saw , thanks BC :]
anon my principal is a passive bully, and I had the misfortune to work with a woman who was a very agressive bully. It's a really insidious problem.
It is EP. Many bullies also like to take credit for other people's ideas and work. I had a bully boss like that once. Didn't last long.
yeah mine dislikes anyone who disagrees but just overlooks them rather than directly responds, another special ed teacher is convinced he is Asperger's which when you look at it could very well be true, we laugh about him mostly but those directly beneath him have a hard time
Ok I am off to work, wearing my Halloween socks from J & L
:]
bye all have a nice night!
♥xx♥
Those poor people working under the Asperger's boss. I feel for them
even though he can't.
Bad joke, sorry.
He could just be using that as an excuse to treat people poorly. Some bullies try to excuse their bad behaviour in whatever way they think will make them look better. Whatever makes people feel sorry for them. It usually doesn't work
as your work experiences have proven.
Try to avoid all those bullies at work EP.
Hey, Mayo.
What number am I thinking of?
And who am I thinking of doing it with?
O_O
Mayo,
Don't guess 88.
I'm proud of Mayo too, especially for the part in bold:
Anonymous said...
If I were to tell you all that she was asked to return, what would you say then?
"It isn't the same without you..."
(Each and every one.)
And I would name you all if I could, but time would not allow it.
So, I will say this: "If you don't like it, get the fuck out."
October 27, 2008 9:08 PM
I wish the anons could stop being like pitbulls and just let some things go.
I think it would be more interesting to know what number Mayo is thinking of
and what he's doing while thinking about it.
Hi, Guys!
Just making a quick stop. Gotta go finish dinner.
Hope everyone is well!
Hi Mya! Hi Anon!
Hi Mya! Have a nice dinner!
Hi Anon!
Hi! Better than ever!
Man, now Solly why you gotta go and say 88 to me? you know how I feel about the string cheese. Damn.
Anonymous said...
Yes they do.
Now, I am reposting Amy's words because I agree with them and anon at 9:08 what you are doing is wrong. You are OBVIOUSLY pretending to be Mayo. You are probably one of the Porchies themselves. '
Now look.
I have a lot of frustrations, and I wanted to share them, on my blog, which I did. I'm not the only one who has these frustrations, and I know this because there are those I speak to who mention the same things over, and over, and over. Can I help that? No.
You know, the "talking about what you did today" stuff isn't what bothers me. We all discuss our days, especially if we have bad ones.
What bothers me is when the posts are nothing but blather. Posting as TV characters, posting poetry constantly, especially when it's randomly inserted into a conversation, posting song lyrics when nobody's discussing songs. Stuff like that.
That's where I think there is a lack of respect. I've lurked many times on the blog, with nothing of worth to say. So I don't say anything. Is that impossible for everyone to do? I don't think so. Do you?
I reposted that because I couldn't have said it better myself. Almost 100% of the blog would agree. If you don't have something WORTHY to say, don't say anything at all! It makes others feel uncomfortable.
When the Porchies would come on writing endless poetry and quotes, playing question games etc..... maybe it meant something to them but it didn't mean anything to anyone else. It was useless. It took up space.
By pretending to be Mayo you are inviting that back into the blog without Mayo's permission.
That is in fact what most people here hated and felt uncomfortable with.
PLEASE PLEASE consider other people and stop trying to get that started up again.
A little respect for the wishes of everyone else is all we are asking for.
October 27, 2008 9:29 PM
Oh, SNAP! Sucks to be me.
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