Monday, October 27, 2008

The day after the day after tomorrow.

I arrived suddenly, and knew for certain that I was in the best place. It was warm and calm and I stood quietly in the moment, waiting for my turn. But, I quickly realized I was alone. Figuring my wait would be short; I let out a breath releasing the smoke from my lungs and viewed my new environment. All around me the black tar covered ground seemed endless, as if I stood in the parking lot for the world’s demise. Its emptiness ran undisturbed to the limits of my sight, and I thought, “When does it all get here?” Then, as I dropped my spent cigarette to the ground, intending to snub it out with the toe of my boot, something caught my eye.

At the hem of my faded, old black shirt was a white thread and without reflection I pulled it. As I pulled, it continued to reveal itself. So I continued to pull, believing that my shirt would soon unravel. But instead, my shirt remained intact while the string started to wind around itself, twining, until it became as thick as a hangman’s rope. With both my hands I began to work against gravity to slow it down, but it quickly stole my grip allowing the rope to spill out, coiling at my feet. When it stopped its fall, the weight of it almost pulled me over and I realized it must be connected to me. I pulled up my shirt and discovered it cleanly attached to the center of my chest.

Then I noticed smoke coming up from the center of the pile and realized the rope had coiled itself around my still lit cigarette. I frantically began to kick at the rope, fearing that it would fuse its way to my heart, igniting it. My success gave way to alarm as I heard from behind me the approaching sound of children’s laughter. When I turned, they were upon me. Several of them grabbed the rope and ran past me. As I watched the rope begin to take off I grabbed for it, but it slipped in my hand. When it disconnected from my chest I fell to the ground and grabbed for its end, but it trailed off behind them, leaving an inky trace.

I remained on my knees. A dull pain echoed in my chest as I watched the children huddle together holding hands to ears, whispering. Several of them looked over at me, but quickly returned to their attention to the group. I felt like an idiot. Oddly, they seemed unfazed by my presence and began to jump rope, their laughter in time with its swooshing rhythm. So, I asked them “Don’t you know you’re playing with the end of me?” My reply came in the most unexpected way, as the smallest of all the children approached me with the seeping end of the rope, smiled and said, “It’s your turn.”



p.s. I’m always fucking late.

4,669 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Anima,

How is your father?

JocelynHolly said...

*giggles*

Anima, how have you been lately? =)

Anonymous said...

you couldn't have made it more obvious 10:13 (im not mayo)

Anonymous said...

Thank you, guys!

Gosh, I can't leave, can I? Whqat they say of me is true, I'm afraid. ;)

Mayo, another thing occurs to me to say to you before I start my movie here. Anytime I feel all unraveled and all tore' up (and whatnot,) a line from a poem I love comes to me. I'm doing it from memory so forgive me if I screw it up.

Sheer plod makes plough-down sillion shine

and blue-bleak embers,

ah, my dear,

fall, gall themselves

and gash gold vermillion.


Stuff that sucks is what makes you gold. Gerard Manley Hopkins said it prettier though. ;D

The Prestige awaits. Once again, good night and thank you to all of you who are wishing me luck. :D

ergoproxy said...

yay anima!!!


my snickerdoodles appear to have become one giant snickerdoodle jigsaw!

obviously need to be a little further apart

*places plate of still warm but not quite round snickerdoodles on table*

anima said...

Fuck yes.

Sorry, had to come up with something quickly.

You going to bed Kapunua? Message me anytime...it's getting close. I'm really scared. What if?! What if not?! Sorry. Don't think about it.

Happy dreams only!

Anonymous said...

"Blogger Kapunua said...

I like it when Mayo gets mad! It's hot. ;)

I'm off to watch my movie. Good night, pork!

10:13 PM, October 27, 2008"


CRUSH! CRUSH! CRUSH!

Anonymous said...

"The day after the day after tomorrow."


Mayo, when it comes to doing the laundry, this is my Modus Operandi.

What do you always put off?

anima said...

*places plate of still warm but not quite round snickerdoodles on table*

No worries Ergo. As long as you can enjoy a chunk, it's all good. But yes, separate further... I have the same issue!

Anon, PH, thanks for asking. My dad is doing fantastic. His smile is back!

Doesn't matter what happens now...I know he will go with a fight. And I am proud of him.

Anonymous said...

Who in the hell cares what they say Kapunua. Since when is it up to certain people to say who can post here?

Original Punk L said...

Hey everyone, how are you?

Back-reading and looking at the new post.

L.

anima said...

10:19, is that really necessary?

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

Are you talking about the post Mayo?

Anonymous said...

Forgot to take her medicine..

JocelynHolly said...

Message from Bleeding Chaos through Paperheartrawrxx via AIM:

I've been having so much trouble trying to contact any of the bloggers, even sending emails, and for some reason, I can't even leave comments on any of the blogs, including mayo's. Can you give everyone a big hello from me and tell them that I miss them? And to give RW a big super squeeze from me?

So, from BC, to me, to YOU:

HELLO GUYS!!

*runs to RW's room*
*leaves a BIG super SQUEEZE*

...

Bleeding Chaos is experiencing difficulties with her phone company. Personally, I wouldn't mind going down there and giving them a swift kick in the you-know-what and slapping them silly while yelling "FIX THE FUCKING INTERNET, GOSH DARN IT!!".

P.S. BC has just informed me, after a few minutes of conversation that she is still alive.

ergoproxy said...

hello L


help yourselves


not bad for a first try

anima said...

Completely lost my thought.

Fuck.

Anonymous said...

BC hope you are well!

*hugs*

JocelynHolly said...

ANOTHER Message from Bleeding Chaos through Paperheartrawrxx via AIM:

Bleeding Chaos says that if you wish to contact her, you can only do so through emails for the time being.

/end of message

Anonymous said...

anima

you always make me laugh. you are so sweet.

(remember me, the anon who told you it was okay to scream :)

ergoproxy said...

*waves back to BC!*

I was wondering why she would come and go

anima said...

PH, send B.C. big *squeezes" from me.

Hi L!

JocelynHolly said...

10:28,

BC exclaims "Awwww!!!
That's co cute ^_^ "

Anonymous said...

Snickerdoodles are my favorite Ergo. They look really good. :)

I baked Tollhouse yesterday.

JocelynHolly said...

What are snickerdoodles?

Original Punk L said...

Thanks for the update, Bubbles. Tell BC hi for me if she can't see the comments.

Anima, good to see you , and great news about your Dad!

Ergo, I'll take some of those cookies, please. :) And some chamomile tea if you have it.

Nice anons, Hello to you as well.

Nasty anons, please, just for one day, just ONE DAMN DAY, can't you give it a rest? Honestly, you have made your point. To keep hammering it in to everyone's head is not going to change anyone's opinion. It does however, cause many who would like to be here to stay away, because they just can't put up with the constant ugly comments.


L.

JocelynHolly said...

OPAL!

All messages from blogbelieve to Bleeding Chaos and vice versa have been transmitted.

=)

anima said...

10:29, I might not remember a lot of things, but I do remember you. You made me feel okay for shouting at Mayo (in a fun way of course). Nice to see you! Have you been around before?

ergoproxy said...

ok, what are tollhouse?

Anonymous said...

always around now and again anima :)

it's good to see you here more often, warms up the place. it's nice to see ALL of you here ^_^

JocelynHolly said...

MSG from Bleeding Chaos:

Please tell the guys thank you and that I hope they're all well :)

anima said...

PH, snickerdoodles are cinnamon/sugar cookies. Very yummy. Especially when they are soft and warm.

ergoproxy said...

PH I didn't know until yesterday!

MJ put the recipe on my kitchen blog

in "breads and baking"

JocelynHolly said...

it's good to see you here more often, warms up the place. it's nice to see ALL of you here ^_^

Thanks 10:35.

Not going to lie, it actually hurt me to read some anons say that the blog wasn't as fun without the 'day' people. I just felt like, I didn't know exactly where I belonged because I wasn't sure if I was contributed to the bad parts of the blog.

JocelynHolly said...

*drools*

Yummmmy.

I think I'll make some this weekend!

anima said...

Awwww, send it right back to BC. :)

Ergo, 'tollhouse' is a company I believe. Maybe I should look that up.

Amyranth said...

Hallo Everyone!

-A

Anonymous said...

toll house cookies

JocelynHolly said...

If I had**

Typo's suck.

JocelynHolly said...

Hey Amyranth! =)

ergoproxy said...

hi amy


PH I think the anons just like to try and make anyone feel bad if they can, I sort of span times here too

JocelynHolly said...

Ergo, if that's the case, they managed to hit my nail.

anima said...

Anon you are sweet and warm like snickerdoodles!

Ergo, I just went to visit MJ.
I thought everyone knew about them!

ergoproxy said...

oh thanks anon

I make cookies like that but they are just called choc chip, they'd be pretty similar as I use a butter cookie dough

Amyranth said...

PH!
ERGO!
ANIMA!

*SQUEEZE!*

What's up Ladies?

-A

JocelynHolly said...

AMY!

*glomp*

I'm very tired. How are you this chilly Canadian eve?

Anonymous said...

paperheart i'm touched by your honesty.

speaking from my point of view, i don't believe there is any such thing as "day" or "night". i certainly wouldn't fit in any of those so called groups.

i just like to come to talk, which anyone can do. I enjoy it all for the most part.

as for the "nasty" ones, best to ignore, but never feel compelled to run away :)

toujours said...

i'm here too except not really because no one fucking backreads anymore.

ciao for now.

ergoproxy said...

I think a lot of times the names of things are different anima, though each country has some unique stuff

allllll the way over here on the other side of the world, upsidedown we miss stuff
:D

Anonymous said...

toujours, what's wrong?

JocelynHolly said...

10:43,

I never really thought of their being a "day crew" or "night crew". If there was, I fit in neither. I comment when I have time, and talk to anyone who is around and willing to talk and keep each other company.

I do ignore the nasty anons, and just leave them and their problems alone.

ergoproxy said...

hey Tj sorry if I missed you
I was baking and when the page changed I didn't look back, sorry

JocelynHolly said...

Teej, =(






Message from BC;

She's getting much better and might have to see a chiropractor for her neck and shoulder damage.

Original Punk L said...

Bubbles, please don't ever think that you haven't contributed to this blog. You are often the lone voice of reason in a sea of confusion and cruel words. It doesn't matter when you are here, it matters what you say, and you always brighten up the room when you are here.

You know what? I'm still holding on to the hope that one day this place will resemble what we once had, that we can get the Family feeling back. It won't be easy, that is for certain, but if everyone tries, with tolerance and respect for one another, it can happen. It would be great to see new people join in the fold, to see old friends back in the Castle, to have fewer dusty doorknobs upstairs.

I still believe.

Amyranth said...

*frets*

Teej? I hope you're okay!

Original Punk L said...

Ergo, I meant to tell you, I loved your glasses. What did Mr. say when he got home?

Amyranth said...

It would be great to see new people join in the fold, to see old friends back in the Castle, to have fewer dusty doorknobs upstairs.

I think so too.

PH, what happened to BC's neck? I heard one day that it was sore, but I don't think I ever heard why.

-A

JocelynHolly said...

Opal, that means alot. I sometimes second-guess this place, to be honest.

ergoproxy said...

thanks L
he thought they looked really nice. He walked in and I could see that look of "something is different, but I don't know what" so i kept looking at him until he realised!

Anonymous said...

"It does however, cause many who would like to be here to stay away, "


This is EXACTLY what the porchies did to Amyranth and to many others. Tell me why that is different.

JocelynHolly said...

Bleeding Chaos was fighting off Ninjas in the desert one windy Friday afternoon, and didn't notice the tree stump in the middle of no where. She clumsily tripped upon a root and may have damaged or torn some nerves.

You know, I tried saving her, but a vampire caught hold of me and bite me. So now, I have two holes in my neck, and BC is (figuratively) dying from pain.

ergoproxy said...

PH anyone who wields Hug-Fu like you do always makes the world a nicer place

Anonymous said...

paperheart, this a community and we are all part of it.

toujours, i hope you don't feel slighted, please return.

anima said...

Ergo, I am still amazed how many things we have in common...regardless of different 'names' somehow we are all the same!

TJ, I'm not sure I understand? You okay? ♥

Hi Amy!

Anonymous said...

I'm still holding on to the hope that one day this place will resemble what we once had, that we can get the Family feeling back. It won't be easy, that is for certain, but if everyone tries, with tolerance and respect for one another, it can happen."



THIS is what I feel that Amy was talking about. But the way the porchies don't ever quit with their bullshit blather posts I don't see it happening. And they will convince themselves that Mayo was talking to them tonight giving them the OK to do exactly what Amy said NOT to do.

JocelynHolly said...

Realistically, Bleeding Chaos was boxing a few weeks ago, and didn't notice or feel pain until a few hours later. Nerves may be damaged or broken though.

ergoproxy said...

we certainly do anima ♥

JocelynHolly said...

Ergo and 11:00,

^_^

Original Punk L said...

TJ, are you ok?

Hello, Amy. How's it going?

Hello also to anyone I missed.

Reading the comments about the new post, there were so many ways of looking at the words. I agree that the post is one of Mayo's best, even if I get a sad feeling off it. The first thing J. thought of was an umbilical cord as well.

One part that I kept looking at was this:

"I arrived suddenly, and knew for certain that I was in the best place. It was warm and calm and I stood quietly in the moment, waiting for my turn. But, I quickly realized I was alone."

Where is the best place? Warm and calm, but empty, black tar surrounding him, alone. The "When does it all get here?" line struck me as important. What is he waiting for? And now, it is his turn.

There are so many images from this post. It reads like a mystery that he wants someone to solve.

Amyranth said...

PH, I gotcha.

I actually fell for the ninja story first, but I realized it couldn't be true when you got to the vampires.

I mean, ninjas and vampires? Naaahh..

-A

anima said...

10:58, over it. Let's talk about something else. Want to?!







Actually, I need to step away for a bit. I hope to swing by later.

♥ to all of you!

JocelynHolly said...

Amyranth!

LOL.
I'm in a silly mood, and BC LOLed when she read my comment.

She can read comments, but not post, by the way.


And, see you later Anima!
♥ to you too!

Anonymous said...

amy, if they can put ninjas in the peaches clip, they can write it in a vamp story :)

Amyranth said...

L, I saw that too. I'm still trying to pick it apart in my head. But it sounds to me like Mayo's being really honest about something, that's he's being obvious in his own Mayo-Way.

Anonymous said...

anima

just overwhelm 10:58 with all your hugs and kisses :)

Anonymous said...

when did Mayo change his profile?

ergoproxy said...

*waves to BC!!!*

Amyranth said...

O RLY?

HIYA BC! WE MISS YOU! GET STRONG AGAIN SOON!

-A

ergoproxy said...

just now pretty much anon

so the story is just a story?

it's a really good one regardless, makes you think

JocelynHolly said...

Mayonaise;

I feel like I should tell you this. I cried when I read this. Fuck, if I know why. I've been an emotional wreck lately. We're all waiting for something, what we are waiting for.. that's only for us to know. People twist and pull on our heart strings. They play games with our hearts. Sometimes we feel helpless and just sit back and allow it. Just know this Mayo, don't be afraid for the fire in your heart to be lit. Don't be scared.

This probably makes no sense, but I thought I'd offer my take at this. You are the only one who truly knows. This post may mean something to you that you can never describe to another being. Just don't let anyone take the meaning away from you.

Anonymous said...

paperheart

what star sign are you, if you don't mind me asking?

ergoproxy said...

PH *big hug*
that is beautiful

JocelynHolly said...

Bleeding Chaos sends hugs for Toujours.

We're both equally concerned :(

JocelynHolly said...

11:10, I'm a Virgo. Born August 27th, if that helps at all.

Amyranth said...

I bet you our PH is a Cancer!

Maybe a Taurus?

An earth sign no doubt, she's so grounded.

-A

Amyranth said...

I was close!

She's an earth sign anyway.

-A

Anonymous said...

for you paperheart, hope you can see it :)

Original Punk L said...

Ergo, don't you love how men never really notice anything we have done until you either tell them or it goes for a few days and they suddenly say "Oh, yeah!" I mean, our hair could be on fire and it would take them at least 5 minutes to catch it. (Well, I know SOMETHING'S different...)

Bubbles, that is the truth. Don't let anyone tell you different. And you're welcome.

Tell BC that I hope she gets better soon. Poor thing, she has been sick and injured quite a bit lately. I know how that goes.

Anima, how goes the bar?

True Amy, we'll even decorate rooms for new residents if they come in.

You still have the you-know-what, right, Ergo? We can do LOTS of redecorating.

Anon at 10:58 and 11:00, I know you mean well, and I'm sure Amy appreciates what you are trying to do, but we have all had so much negativity here. Have faith. Let old wounds heal.

ergoproxy said...

HA HAAAA!

I now have a batch of nice round snickerdoodles!

*adds new batch of snickerdoodles to table*

*along with jug of boiling water, assorted tea bags, coffee, milk and sugar*


*brings over tray of cups and spoons*

Anonymous said...

Before 10:26 anon at 11:07.

mya said...

Hiya, Guys!

Darn, I just had to peek back in before I went off to bed, and see where Mayo made an impromptu and unannounced appearance - "only for effect".

I gotta tell you guys, I haven't been here because there's always too much shit being flung about. Damn, if I wanted that, I would've stayed married.

It isn't fun, it isn't interesting, and it certainly doesn't help anyone.

I wish we all could come back together and be the "Lovelies" we all once were.

It really was something, wasn't it?

It's true that we're not always going to agree, or get along, but I think we all have the ability to be civil to each other.

Anons just need to let it go, period. Just let it go. Point is - you're not helping. Instead, you're hurting this place, and, and Mayo, and more importantly, yourselves. It really isn't good to live with so much hostility. Just let it go.

Before I leave, I have to apologize for missing the anniversay of FUCKFEST '08!!!!!!!
Damn, I remember that night... That was fun.

MAYO, thanks, and actually, No Thanks! for this post. You've sucked me in again, you bastard!

ergoproxy said...

yeah PH is one of us lovely blog Virgos, she's only 3 days younger than me....


*coughandacoupleofdecadescough*

Amyranth said...

HIYA MYA!!

-A

ergoproxy said...

goodnight Mya
sweet dreams

JocelynHolly said...

11:15, thank you. =)

(now if only I knew what that meant... ^_~)


Mya! nice to see you around!

mya said...

I see the rope as the umbilical cord, the life-line.

Anonymous said...

A public display of affection (sometimes abbreviated PDA) is the physical demonstration of affection for another person while in the view of others. For example, holding hands or kissing in public are commonly defined as public displays of affection. (More far-reaching forms of intimacy could be considered indecent exposure). While the term is generally considered an American term, every culture has written and unwritten rules for showing affection in public.

Individual and societal opinions on the public display of affection can vary significantly, and such displays are sometimes considered in bad taste. In some jurisdictions, the public display of affection may even be criminal.

If the partners enjoy being seen affectionate towards each other in public, it may be considered a mild form of exhibitionism. Alternatively, the partners may be indifferent to what others can see, and therefore are not inhibited by it. Finally, the partners may prefer more privacy, but may simply tolerate being seen by others.

Some may find it pleasant to view others publicly display affection, which may be considered a mild form of voyeurism.

In places that already hold a "looser" atmosphere, such as in bars, nightclubs, and strip clubs public displays of affection are rarely considered to be as objectionable (if objectionable at all). In these places acts such as grinding and french kissing are commonplace.

In many societies, public displays of affection may be tolerated even less among minority couples. For example, gay couples could be at risk of encountering aggression from homophobic onlookers. While such public displays of affection could trigger hate violence, some gay rights advocates have used public displays of affection as a means of defiance, treating them as political acts. For example, at McGill University, the Queer McGill organization stages "kiss-ins" in which gay couples kiss in public areas on the university's campus. In many places around the world, couples of differing race, religion, or tribe may be subject to similar intolerance.

[edit] Worldwide

In Europe, it is normal to see people holding hands or kissing in public places and public events. Petting (or even heavy petting) is often seen as normal in parks, and certainly in nightclubs.[citation needed]

Many junior and senior high schools in the United States prohibit displays of affection, in an effort that many school administrators believe allows students to focus on learning. Such efforts may also be geared towards promoting prudence among students. Another reason is the potential for liability as PDAs can, in extreme cases, be considered sexual harassment. Also, in the United States Armed Forces, PDA is a strongly discouraged and looked down upon, especially in uniform.

In Canada, it is also very normal to see people holding hands or kissing in public places and at public events. In nightclubs it is also common for men and women to "grind" (a form of dancing) or dance closely.

Indonesia has a proposed law outlawing kissing in public places.

In Pakistan public displays of affection are common among young people but it is taboo and is almost never done in front of authorities as it is a criminal offence.[1]

The Supreme Court of India has described public displays of affection to be in bad taste and has defined such behavior as unacceptable. The public display of affection may even be considered an act of public nuisance, subjecting individuals to conviction and fine. Despite legal and societal views, the Indian film industry does utilize marketing imagery of individuals displaying mutual affection as a means of promoting many films.

In Arab countries, varying degrees of PDA are accepted, depending on the country and the city. Some traditional societies like Saudi Arabia do not allow any amount of PDA. Others are relatively westernized and tolerant towards most forms of PDA, for example Lebanon. In most Arab countries, only very light PDA is accepted. Holding hands or having one partner's hand on the other's shoulder are the usual limits.

Arab onlookers to a PDA might take offence and might confront those showing it and demand that they obey the local customs. Heavy PDA can land a person in jail, for the offence of indecent exposure. As such, and considering the different attitudes in different areas, tourists are advised to do only as much as the locals are doing; attempting more PDA might be received with indigination or even legally prohibited.

In South Africa it is against the law for anyone under the age of 16 to take part in any public displays of affection. This has led to large protests across the country by teenagers, culminating in Kiss-a-thons in public places across the country

mya said...

Hi, Amy, PH, Ergo, OP L, and whoever else is here!

Original Punk L said...

PH, I nearly cried reading YOUR comment about the post. And you make perfect sense. :)

Hey, Mya! Yeah, it really was something. I miss those days so much. It was really nice seeing all the comments about the post, talking about it, sharing with each other and Mayo.

We had an the King of FF7 stop by to reclaim his crown, but the Queen didn't put in an apperance this time. I wonder if that was the P.S.?

mya said...

Gotta go now! I have a very important meeting in the morning!

Take Care, Lovelies!

And SS!

And Mayo!

you bastard!

JocelynHolly said...

Amyranth,

BC just saw your comment and gives her sincere thank you, and sends a HUGE wave back to Ergoproxy!

ergoproxy said...

oh you staying mya?

thanks for the definition anon, but I think we all know that

Original Punk L said...

Goodnight, Mya. Good to see you!

JocelynHolly said...

Opal,

I plan on writing out a great good-night, touching base with that comment up there.

I'm going to shower, then maybe return for a quick goodnight!

See you all later, if not..

*HUGS*

ergoproxy said...

nope you aren't!

goodnight again!



heehee BC

mya said...

I wish I could stay Ergo! This post is so...

What can I say? Damn, I just love it!

I'll try to pop in tomorrow!

Original Punk L said...

One word of advice, Bubbles.

COPY WHAT YOU WRITE IF IT IS A LONG COMMENT!

I lost a huge comment to "conflicting edits" earlier.

I will be back in a few minutes too.

L.

Anonymous said...

It's National Friendship Week

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.


^_^

Amyranth said...

WOO!

Hooray for BC!

-A

Anonymous said...

If the partners enjoy being seen affectionate towards each other in public, it may be considered a mild form of exhibitionism.

Anonymous said...

hopes bc feels better. nice to see ph. anima! hope you and your dad are well. hugs all

thanks ergo for snickerdoodies!
stuffs two in mouth as i go to bed,
something's missing. milk!
nice glass of milk with freshly baked snickerdoodies! yummy :)

my favorite cookie. (i bake them too)
hope all are well. goodnight

Original Punk L said...

I like that 11:28. Things we all should remember.

I know this is a complete subject change, but I thought about Elena's pics from the graveyard:

Has anyone here been to The Tower of London?

ergoproxy said...

thanks 11:38 goodnight!


no but I'd love to L
they were cool pics Elena took

gah I just rang the regional staffing officer as I either want part time work next year or I resign, he wasn't terribly positive about it, and neither is the principal of the school, he's going to talk to him and some others about it
everyone thing good things for me!!

ergoproxy said...

everyone THINK good things for me please

(*sheesh*

I misspell and use no manners)

Amyranth said...

Ergo, I don't know why they wouldn't want to keep you!

But you know, if they don't, you could come to Canada, and teach your way across the country.

-A

ergoproxy said...

eh it's the part time business, the way they staff schools is so many teachers per students, and so a part time really needs another part time to make a full person. seeing as it's a small school they have a hard time doing it. I cannot see why it has to work like that, esp when so many people want to leave and they have such trouble getting maths/ science teachers who are any good, you'd think they'd be more accommodating when you have a teacher who can actually teach!
It's all numbers unfortunately, and they don't like it if they don't add up. The government isn't what you'd call progressive thinkers sometimes

anima said...

Night 11:38. I agree. A nice glass of milk would complete the snack. Yummy! Unless you are vegan, then well, you know...


So when the hell did Mayo come by? I missed it. Still trying to get some work done...why did I refresh?







For 'effect.' Sounds good to me. I still heard you loud and clear. Tell me the cigarette was literal. :) I felt you my friend. Wishing you the best. Always.


Or was that 'affect?' Just teasing. You did good.

Original Punk L said...

Sending positive thoughts to you, Ergo! Hopefully they can work something out.

The reason I mentioned The Tower was an experience I had in the Bloody Tower. From the moment we stepped across the bridge to The Tower I felt uneasy, like we shouldn't be there. When we went up to the top floor of the main castle I looked out onto Executioner's Lawn and saw all the people there taking pictures and talking and it just didn't feel right. Over 1,500 people lost their lives there, but you would never know it now.

But the strangest thing was walking toward the entrance to The Bloody Tower, where prisoners were held and tortured before their execution. One spot, about 5 feet from teh entrance, smelled so strongly of gardenias. My friend didn't smell anything at all, but I could smell it very strongly. When I walked away from the spot, I couldn't smell it. I checked around, no gardenias anywhere.

Then, when I first set foot inside The Bloody Tower, I was hit with a huge wave of nausea. I walked in about 2-3 feet and walked through a cold spot, and again the nausea hit me. I only went in the one room, on the bottom floor, and in that time I walked through 3 cold spots, got more and more nauseaous, and suddenly I was bombarded with fear, sadness, anger, pain. It was horrible. I had to get out of there, and ran down the hill to get water at the drinking fountains. I stayed on a bench there and waited for my friend so we could leave.

I would love to go back to London, but I won't ever go back to the Tower.

(Sorry for the long comment!)

anima said...

*giggles*

You said "snickerdoodies." ;)

Amyranth said...

Ergo, it's ridiculous, because it seems the GOOD teachers always get booted out first. I've had a lot of great teachers in my time, but it seems like they were always passed over for the ones that had been around longer.

Seniority, I know, but... ugh. I guess there's just no fair treatment, huh?

-A

Anonymous said...

just a ween story

anima said...

Mayo, will you show yourself in blue? Come on! Do it! I dare you.

Anonymous said...

ohh L sounds like you had a psychic connection.

Amyranth said...

L, really? That sounds like an incredible experience!

I'd like to go, just to see what it would be like.

-A

Amyranth said...

11:57, even if it was just a story, it was a good one.

I liked it.

-A

Original Punk L said...

Anima has thrown down the dare, Mayo. :) Have you thought about setting a "date night" like you did once before? That was a nice time, and we all knew before hand when you would be here.

Anon at 11:59, I think the spirits are so strong there that you almost can't help but feel it. On the complete oppisite side, Westminster Abbey was a calm, peaceful place.

ergoproxy said...

amy I am a senior teacher though, that's the thing I am actually highly regarded in the area, and have a record to back it up.
They just don't like part time, and a lot of older teachers leave as they don't get any flexibility at all.
The school gets staffed by straight out of college teachers with no experience and though many are good some aren't (and if they aren't, they really aren't)and they all usually don't want to be away from the city in a rural school, so their heart isn't in the area I just think when it is kids futures on the line you should be staffing the best you can

ergoproxy said...

L what an amazing experience, you must have really tuned into the place.
Don't blame you for not wanting to do it again though.

I had similar cold etc in an old theatre, backstage. But not nausea, one are really felt like someone didn't want you there, others were cold, and feeling like you were being watched

toujours said...

hey. sorry if this interrupts the flow.

thanks for saying what you did, paperheart. to be honest, i cried reading this post, too.

i had a great day today. i woke up very happy, and then, as it was my folks' 25th wedding anniversary, spent the day with them exploring a very interesting lake in tennessee south of us, taking tons of pictures of cyprus trees and water and shit like that. made them sit for a nice portrait over and over again. it was fun.

wasn't surprised to see a new post when i got online. i had a feeling.

i really do love the way he writes, but this post just fucking pushed me over into the pit, and i don't even know why. i cried and cried, couldn't even stop it. read everything every one was saying, posted, reread to realize mayo had been here (well, isn't that just lovely, i really do miss everything. full sweep.)

and because it's been stewing:

i'm tired of anons who come here just to find drama or rehash old shit. i like the ones who come to socialize.

i'm tired of my friends -- and that's everyone on the blog, not just the ones i get to talk to at at night -- coming on and saying they didn't backread, when it used to be that catching up as important because it was your friends' lives you were reading about.

i'm tired of waiting 15 minutes or more between comments. it's so lonely.



gods, there's more, but no one wants to read it.

and thank you to everyone who asked after me.

Original Punk L said...

You would think that would be the case, Ergo. When did it become more about money and benifits and less and less about the kids? I hope they will try to work with you.

In Westminster Abbey, I went to a service and took communion there. I think I cried for the entire last half of the service, it was so overwhelming. A sweet little lady who looked about 90 gave me one of her tissues and kept patting the back of my hand, asking if I was "alrigh' luv?" She was such a doll.

I stopped to speak with the vicar on the way out and barely could get words to come. He patted me on the shoulder and smiled, and said "I know."

Amyranth said...

Ergo, I didn't know you were seniority!

Well, I do agree with the idea of best staffing though. Especially when it's someone from the area, instead of people from outside.

Nothing against outside people.

-A

ergoproxy said...

hi Tj glad you had a good day, will you share some of the pics?

Amyranth said...

gods, there's more, but no one wants to read it.

That's bullshit. Spill it Teej.

-A

toujours said...

seriously, you wrote that as a halloween story like elena asked?

well, i'm such an idiot.

JocelynHolly said...

Mayonaise;

I didn't really promise you a goodnight, but I'm kind of, sort of, REALLY tired. I can't think, let alone type out what I am thinking. I feel bad though, but I promise, another night, another day.

Toujours; I understand what you're saying. I was really worried hun when you left. To be honest, I've never really back-read. Maybe to figure out what people were talking about, and to read about you guys if something was worrying me. I've just never really liked taking the time to read back, it felt like an intrusion to a private conversation, in a way. lol.

I'm off to bed guys, goodnight


*HUG*

toujours said...

i might, ergo, but probably not tonight. actually, on the way home i was thinking it would be neat to do an illustrated post like you did with your trip. (if that's not too copycat?)

Anonymous said...

toujours, i lurk alot and i know that no one is ignoring you. sometimes we all get that feeling.

i'm glad to see your return :)

anima said...

TJ, I want to backread...I've tried to keep up. I'm sorry.

JocelynHolly said...

Teej;

Email me. Please. I'm ALWAYS, always, here for you. I'd stop the world for you if I could.

xoxox

toujours said...

i'm sorry i worried you, paperheart. i really am. you're a true sweetheart. be good to yourself.

*hugs*

ergoproxy said...

that's ok amy I taught there 13 years and was on district panel.
Eh if they don't I'll still tutor, and I can always work on a contract, just have to wait and see
it's only as my actual leave allowance is up this year, otherwise I wouldn't worry, but it's either go back or resign, so part time would suit me best, otherwise I'll resign. I stay registered so I can still rejoin later,( but the pay scale ends up lower etc,) no biggie really and a lot less stress, lol

anima said...

Night PH. It was so lovely to see you. Take care. *hugs so tight*

Original Punk L said...

Goodnight Bubbles, sweet dreams.

TJ, your words are as important as the rest. Please don't feel like you are slighted.

I think I am going to head out for the night guys, take care and I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Love,
L.

Amyranth said...

Goodnight PH!

Teej, are you really alright? Really, Really?

(My parents had their 25th this year too.)

-A

ergoproxy said...

oh TJ don't even think it!
I think it's a lovely way to illustrate a tour, please do

Amyranth said...

Goodnight L!

-A

toujours said...

amyranth, i don't even want to read it, tbh.

anon 12:11, thank you. it's just a black night for me i guess.

anima, for goodness' sake, you have enough going on in real life. i'm sorry. don't take me seriously, please. i'm venting i guess.

paperheart, i will write you an email, but tomorrow morning when i will most likely be back to sunshine & lollipops pollyanna.

Anonymous said...

toujours, they are the nights you should have some company :)

ergoproxy said...

goodnight PH *hug*

goodnight L sweet dreams

toujours said...

oh i'm jim-dandy amyranth.

good night l.

ergo, that sucks about your job. i'd hire you if i had kids to teach. you've explained stuff to me, goodness knows.

oh, and i'm listening to the songs you sent to me right now -- i really like them! the difference in the two living end songs is amazing. the poppier one remibds me of a seattle band i listen to, the lashes, and the heavier one gives me billy talent/sex pistols vibe. thank you for the songs. :)

anima said...

TJ, Yes, I have things going on, but who doesn't? I care about you! I want to know that you are okay.

And if not, let's talk about it.

anima said...

Night L! Send happy dreams to J.

toujours said...

12:19, these people used to be my company. they still are, mostly. you too, of course.

toujours said...

thank you anima, that's lovely of you to say. i was just reading about the st.louis/columbus shows last night. that was great getting to have breakfast with you. :)

anima said...

For fun, Let's take a poll (hoping not to to offend):

Who's parents are still married? If so, how many years? Or if one parent has passed, how many years were they married?

ergoproxy said...

you're welcome TJ

anima , 42 years

anima said...

Actually, nevermind. That topic may only bring saddness. Sorry. :(

anima said...

Awww, Ergo, that is great!

Original Punk L said...

Mayo,

How are you doing? Thanks for the new post, it is quite an interesting read. I still get the feeling there is a lot of you in this story.

I know I don't comment as much as I used to, but I do read each and every post of yours, Mayo. Something I had been noticing was a return to the feeling of those first posts, through November. You were distant, confused, angry and/or hurt. As time went on, you sounded better, more alive and happy. But lately it seemed like the spark we were seeing was leaving.

Maybe it's not you, maybe it's the glasses I'm seeing it through.

Things have changed around here, and even if you don't say much about it, I know it bothers you. I want you to know, that despite how it seems, you have many pairs of hands that will reach for you, will dig their heels into the ground and pull you up.

You are a kind, loving man, who I think wants to be brave but has a hard time fighting his fears. You don't have to do it alone, sweetheart, let someone help you fight whatever demons you have.

I believe in you.

Believe in yourself, and

remember, you are not alone


Love you dearly,

L.

anima said...

TJ, you know I love you. I should catch up on the back comments. And for not doing so, I do apologize.

ergoproxy said...

you're welcome anima but it is true many don't make it for a multitude of reasons, it's always nice though to know couples can share their lives when they do

toujours said...

i'll play along, anima, if my computer will let me. :/

my parents, married 17 years, divorced.

mom and stepdad married 25 yrs, i was at the wedding (wore my simon le bon outfit, natch.)

this is my mom's third marriage, btw. i don't remember how long the first one lasted. long enough for two sisters, anyway.

toujours said...

anima, you don't have to apologize. i was just being a baby. how many times do we get told that this is just the internet, just a blog? i have to grow up.

Anonymous said...

Toujours I will be honest with you. You don't spare a WORD for many people on this blog. Only certain ones and Mayo. There are people who come here hurting and you ignore. Not a word. Then you're upset because no one backreads and comments on every little thing? Think about what you are saying. They call people on here attention whores? You take this blog way too seriously. It's just a blog. And even if it was as important to everyone else as it is to you.... You are one of the prime examples of ignoring others who might be in pain or in need unless it is Mayo r one of your precious few.

Amyranth said...

Teej, you're allowed to have a snot day though. We all do, and we understand when you do.

-A

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you realize that at least Toujours. It is just a blog. And even if it is Gerard's blog, do you really hold your head any higher every day just because YOU are on it? It's just the internet. Mayo is just another human. Yet you put him before everything and you do have a way of ignoring many people when it suits YOU the best.

Amyranth said...

Anon, leave her alone.

-A

anima said...

Ergo, I agree. I am still in awe of my parents longivety together.

45 years. Wow! I recall my mom saying..."this is our last" and now there is hope for one more year. This taught me so much. One more year...one more week, one more day. Chosing a someone to spend the end of days together is magical....amazing.

elena said...

Mayo


Thanks so much for the Halloween story.

Yep, Halloween the day after the day after tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

"Teej, you're allowed to have a snot day though. We all do, and we understand when you do.

-A

October 28, 2008 12:42 AM"

But no one understood when the two sisters and Kapu did. No then it was attention whoring.

Sometimes I have to point that out.

Anonymous said...

"Blogger Elena said...

Mayo


Thanks so much for the Halloween story.

Yep, Halloween the day after the day after tomorrow.

October 28, 2008 12:43 AM"

Not when he posted it. When he posted it the day after tomorrow was wednesday and the day after wednesday is thursday. He was talking about the end of the world movie.

elena said...

Hey everyone

I'm finally home and can talk. What's up?

ergoproxy said...

Hi elena!

elena said...

Oh you think it's the movie "The Day After"


The one filmed in Kansas?

Anonymous said...

anima just recently i had the chance to peruse a book by a photographer who had taken pictures of couples in Georgia, in the Ukraine.

All the subjects were well into their senior years some over a century, each one married for at least half a decade. and they were still holding hands and smiling (with no teeth *laughs*) but that image was so wonderful.

anima said...

Amyranth, I agree.


Anons, enough is enough. Do you know? Do you care? Obviously you don't. I am so tired of this. It is so hateful. You should be ashamed. Go check yourself. Nevermind, you are completely doomed.

Amyranth said...

12:44, go ahead and point it out. And I'll feel free to point it out that it happens frequently that "people" have "shitty days" and say things they might not mean and still get jumped on by other people.

-A

toujours said...

12:41, i really ought to not respond to you, but i will.

it's tru there are times i don't ahve much to say for people. sometimes it's because i'm just not able to. sometimes, as lame as it is, i just don't have the energy to do much of anything except breathe, okay?

what you don't see other times, however, is that a lot of time i go to that person's blog, or i email them. i don't just talk to my friends here.


as far as the rest, what can i say? i'm a stupid, over-imaginative, clingy woman, who likes very much what has been here in the past, and what is still here sometimes, mayo included. i do hold my head high somdays because of this blog. i know it's dumb. i know i'm supposed to have friends i rely on in real life, but i don't, not really.

except, i do, now, and only because of this blog. i've met some of these people in real life now, i can call them friends here and out there.

so take that for whatever it's worth.

Original Punk L said...

SS,

Goodnight to you as well. It really was nice to see your blog changes for FF2008. You still have a room (Room No. 2, I believe) here. We've even gone in and dusted and vacumed every week, so it's always ready for you. If you want some tea or coffee, let us know and we'll leave you a little coffee pot in there. Cream and sugar? Earl Grey or Breakfast Blend? Just name it. Remember, Ergo still has the you-know-what so we can go shopping. :)

Take care of yourself,

Love you,
L.

Amyranth said...

Hallo Elena!

Anima, I think we've all had our fair share of "shitty days" here, huh?

-A

Anonymous said...

"Blogger Amyranth said...

12:44, go ahead and point it out. And I'll feel free to point it out that it happens frequently that "people" have "shitty days" and say things they might not mean and still get jumped on by other people.

-A

October 28, 2008 12:50 AM"


Are you apologizing for you and Dickweed?

toujours said...

hello elena.

Anonymous said...

"
it's tru there are times i don't ahve much to say for people. sometimes it's because i'm just not able to. sometimes, as lame as it is, i just don't have the energy to do much of anything except breathe, okay?
"


But you feel its OK to come on here and bitch people out for not backreading enough. OK for you when you don't have the energy to do much else but breathe but god forbid others don't do as you think is right for this blog and backread enough?

Amyranth said...

12:52, I have nothing to apologize for, and if you think you're going to get one out of me, you've got another think coming.

-A

anima said...

"The day after" was fucked up. Cold War...Ouch..And yes, in Kansas. Scared the fuck out of me!


*waves to Elena!*



Anon 12:48, that is really cool. I know exactly what you are talking about. :)

Anon616 said...

*comes in singing*

"I jump from every rooftop
So high so far to fall
I feel a million miles away
I don't feel any thing at all..."

Hello Mayo, SS, Ergo, Amy, Anima, L, TJ, Elena, Paper!!!!, Sweetcheeks (who is having computer difficulties these days) anyone I missed, various anons and lurkers!

How are you all? I hope everyone is good (or at least decent). I am recovering, nicely, from the Voodoo Experience.

I haven't caught up (properly) yet. Please accept my apologies!

Mayo: Great story. Thank you!

Ergo: I did see your sexy picture. You scrub up better than good! Then again, you always look good to me!!! Thanks for sharing the picture with us and I love the new frames!

Elena: Thank you for sharing those graveyard photos!! They're wonderful! You really do need to visit NOLA. We have the most amazing cemeteries, here. Dare I say, they're hauntingly beautiful! ;)
Ask J and L to swing by Kansas and pick you up for Mardi Gras!!!

MissT: I believe I read that you haven't been feeling well. I hope you're feeling now. I'm sending 'get well soon' wishes your way!

Amy: You haven't eaten any more bubbling food, have you? ;)

TJ: I did notice that you, also, are not feeling well/quite right tonight. Don't ever underestimate (or allow anyone else to make you underestimate) your value or the value of your words. Okay?
*hugs*

Well, I really just came by to share some NIN LOVE with you all. Here's one of my videos:

NINE INCH NAILS LIVE at Voodoo 1000000

*extremely huge smile*

You can see them all at my place:

Easy access to my New Orleans Events home

IT WAS WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shall try to be properly caught up when I return. Until then, have fun, everyone.

Goodnight and sweet dreams to one and all!

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

Hi PJ, Mel, BI, CTV, Entropy and Martha!

PS: Thanks, also to everyone who commented on my new "pieces". I'll visit you all soon! I've added two more, Ergo.

Easy access to my pieces

;)

PPS: GS ~ feel free to take it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN BLOGBELIEVE!!!

*blows kisses*

Original Punk L said...

Elena!

I missed you. Hope you have a goodnight and sweet dreams. Tell Storm I loved reading her comment today!

Anima, that is the most straight to the point "bugger off, anon" comment I have ever read. Love you!

Anon, just leave it. Don't be cruel to people on purpose. We have had enough of that.

Goodnight again, all.

Luv,
L.

Amyranth said...

Hiya Wendy!

Nope, no more bubbling food for me!

Not unless it's Bubble Gum.

-A

Anon616 said...

PPPS: I have missed you much Amy!!!! How's work going? Getting better, I hope!
*huge hug*

Okay, now I'm off!

elena said...

Hello TJ, Amy, L, Ergo and anon or anons....

ergoproxy said...

hi wendy!

*SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH*


anon I really didn't see "bitch people out" was there a whole lot of other comments that somehow only you read?
One comment when having a bad moment isn't an issue

Original Punk L said...

Wendy! Dang it, I'm missing everyone tonight. I will check out your VooDoo pics and vids in the morrow!

I love, love, love the painting you linked to. You did a fantastic job.

*Wonders if Wendy will notice if I put the painting under my shirt and sneak out the door when we come down for Mardi Gras..."

Wanna go Elena? We can make a side trip!

Love you and good night, again!

L.

elena said...

*waves to Anima*

Yeah that was a creepy movie. One of my friends was an extra in it.

Anonymous said...

"
Anon, just leave it. Don't be cruel to people on purpose. We have had enough of that.
"

Unless Dickweed, Amyranth, and anons are being cruel to the porchies, then its OK.

Anonymous said...

hey elena

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Oh, Mayo.

You break my heart and you piss me off.

You fascinating little shit. Beautiful and clever, as usual. I would throw at you -that Only YOU Can Save Yourself. But then, you've already thrown it right back haven't you?? We're a little bit thick, sometimes aren't we? I hope we figure that out soon...

I miss the love. And Everybody. I am tired of the redundant, repetitive bullshit that solves nothing. In the imortal words of -some guy in some movie:

Can't we all just get along??

:(

So, not caught up. Having issues, but I am thinking of everyone -and wishing you all well. -Lovers, fighters and all we crazy fucks in the middle! Love you guys! Be well!

-Oh, wait. Just to be clear.. The new post really is something Mayo. Thank you (and damn you) for that. I missed your voice. You scare me, but I kinda like that. ...Sometimes.

SS -you awesome fuck! Totally fantastic! (Sorry, I'm kinda slow.) ;p

And Seeping Anon -wherever you are: I read one, ONE of the stories you posted -the little poor (why pick on us!? Why do the Blue Collars always have to die!? That is fucked! And not cool man!) boy with the muddy dude with the knife, under the bed.... you freaked me out severe. I do not forgive. I am a total wuss. I admit it. But I can't help but read... And my teddy bear -as you prescribed, was fucking useless. Thanks a lot, man. Really. Holy crap.. >:(

Alrighty ladies, I am sorry I can't stay to shoot the -is it breeze or shit? Does either work? And how so? I'm confused about that.. meh. I hope everybody is good! Miss ya! Halloween is coming! AHHH! I want picks ladies!! (And some treats... I'm greedy like that..) ;p

-loves ya, ALL! muhwah!!!

elena said...

Hey Wendy!!

L - it was funny how Storm wanted to write the comment today. She said, "hey let me talk to Mayo"

I just nodded

anima said...

Elena, really?! That's awesome, but hella creepy!

Anonymous said...

The double standard around here is amazing.

anima said...

Win for Mayo!

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