Friday, September 12, 2008

Echolocation

It was written from another’s perspective. A recollection of a conversation turned first person. Expensive, anti-climactic words ringing in my ears with an unrelenting need to, once again, find voice. In reverse, they became a bit of guilt unfurled to reveal how my selfish needs superseded best interest. Recall that I held on too long, to that room, to that moment.

“Just say it, say it already”

“I don’t.”

As painful as it may have been to hear it rephrased in that manner, I never meant to be cruel. And now, when the melody of the moment presents itself, I am reminded to never again make that mistake. Although ironically, it was only after repeated cost that it became my lesson. I hope it has become yours, as well.


p.s. volumes like breadcrumbs lead back.

5,657 comments:

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toujours said...

cool. i keep looking at my inbox...

oh, hey elena, i started writing up the blog gothic in a word doc tonight. all i'm doing is tidying it, doing what needs to be done to get rid of the red and green squiggles, and making it uniform. i thought that might help us to finish it, to see it as a whole.

i'll send it on to you when it's done. (i had forgotten how fantastic it is! we're so awesome!!)

elena said...

Awesome we are, indeed.

Sent that e-mail.

Anonymous said...

Nice, mayo.Good to see you are around.
PH is a fine young woman.

Anonymous said...

And Mayo.... keep calling Kapunua out. Se may answer the hard questions one of these days like why Sdock, Smoke and Fimble left so early.

Anonymous said...

Aw I'm sorry about that TJ :(

Hi anons

toujours said...

oh, that's lovely, mayo. :)

paperheart will be surprised!



hey! does this mean you're writing a new post???? :)

Anonymous said...

12:29 is not 12:31.

Anonymous said...

Don't be a shithead Mayo. Talk to the night crew.

Anonymous said...

12:31,

Seriously, shut the fuck up.

elena said...

Paperheart is one of a kind. A very, special girl with a beautiful soul.

Mayo knows that.

Anonymous said...

Don't tell me to shut the fuck up what you know is true. They are a bunch of cunts and everyone knows that.

Anonymous said...

If this really was a Disney movie they would be the wicked step sisters. Mayo we know you are on. Talk to the cinderella's of the group.

elena said...

Just got an e-mail form Ergo. She is tired but happy.

She said to say "hi" to everyone and to yell at Mayo for her.

Uh, okay....

Mayo, (I think she wants to know you're okay)

Anonymous said...

Mayo, you really are a sensitive man. Paperheartxx deserves the recognition.

Anonymous said...

*waves hi to Ergo*

Anonymous said...

MAYO, STOP PRAISING YOURSELF AND TALK TO THE REAL FRIENDS HERE. THE REAL FRIENDS

elena said...

I will send her that wave, BC.


Can't wait to see her "Ray" pics.

Anonymous said...

"Apparently everyone hated them"

I know I did and I couldn't fathom why Gerard and the other members of the band would have anything to do with such useless hangers-on who only seemed to have achieved any kind of notoriety by their association with MCR.

I remember other fans arguing that Gerard had no idea what was going on, but I was like, "How can the dude be that stupid?"

Now that he's doing essentially the same thing with that other no-talent bunch of hangers-on I'm thoroughly convinced that he is, indeed, that fucking stupid.

toujours said...

if we're the real friends, can i be phoebe?

toujours said...

also, i have no idea what 12:42 is referencing, but that's okay.

elena, give ergo a wave for me too, and i'm opening your email.....


now!

elena said...

Hey TJ

Who do I want to be? I never watched that show.

Anonymous said...

Paperheartxx is a sweetheart. She does deserve the recognition.

Anonymous said...

That settles it. Mayo obviously you have made your choice. And a poor choice it is. The night crew will continue to treat you with respect and affection and you will continue to shit all over them in favor of a bunch of cunts. Pat yourself on the back for that one

toujours said...

hmmmmm, let me think elena. it's been awhile.

you're not monica. i've seen your house. so that means you're rachel!
:)

also, your email pic is very very cool. confusing, but cool. i'm going to have to look at it longer.

toujours said...

also: i think you're misreading the situation 12:47.

elena said...

Okay I'll be Rachel. Uh, which one was that?

toujours said...

jennifer aniston's character. you get to be in love with dopey ross.

i get to have affairs with men across the globe!

and sing in coffee shops!

anima said...

Awww, a 'refresh' and I find it. Mayo - sums it up doesn't it? PH nailed it. :)

It's nice to see you around. Hope you are doing okay.

elena said...

I don't wanna be in love with dopey ross.

Wait, who's ross?

elena said...

I'm tellin' Anima..

You are supposed to be working.

anima said...

BUSTED!!!

Elena, please don't tell!

anima said...

Elena, you don't know 'Ross?'

*hangs head in shame. I know who 'Ross' is.*

toujours said...

hi anima! *smish*

ross...i can't remember that actor's name. shoot. he hasn't been able to do much post-friends.

he was a paleontologist.
said "we were on a break!" a lot.

that's all i got.

elena said...

Okay Anima I won't tell.

Glad you're here!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Elena :)


Affection? I definitely don't feel that. Only indifference.

Hi Anima *hugs*

toujours said...

oh, anima -- i got your note over at my blog. you're so nice!

Anonymous said...

David Schwimmer.

Anonymous said...

David Schwimmer

elena said...

Oh, thanks anon. Now I know who Ross is.

anima said...

Thanks Elena. You are a true friend!

I should get back to it though. :(




......

*hugs T.J.*

.....

I have had to overcome and still battle with some pretty substantial trust issues. Always present in the back of my mind is the voice telling me to watch out for anyone who gets too close because they probably have an ulterior motive that will leave me in a rut. It has taken me a long time and years of therapy to be able to ignore that voice and share even my more simple weaknesses with friends (without the guise of fiction). And, so I share this piece of myself, my past with you.

I know this was a while back; I had to re-read it - fits with PH's lovely thoughts.

anima said...

*hugs BC*

Hugs are awesome.

elena said...

Anima take care. I'll talk to you in a few days.

Miss you bunches.

toujours said...

try to have fun working anima. :)

and um, thanks for giving us the answer in stereo, anons. lol

Anonymous said...

Are you leaving Anima? If so, take care *hugs Anima again*



I'm gonna go finish downloading some songs because my butt is starting to hurt from sitting :/

Be back in a bit.

anima said...

Miss you a ton too Elena!

I shall return to the never-ending-invoice-entering-accounting-stuff. Need to take advantage of my time away from bartending. But of course, it was totally worth hanging out with you all. Hope to be around more often. *hoping*

elena said...

Thank you BC for that butt update

Take care, Hun.

Anonymous said...

Haha, you're welcome elena ^_^

elena said...

BC I love ya!

toujours said...

see ya later, bc.

*hugs anima*

Anonymous said...

yenoh ih
(:

Anonymous said...

*hgis yppah*
olleh
(:

elena said...

Where did everyone go??????

Anonymous said...

Where is everyone?

Anonymous said...

David Schwimmer's house.

Anonymous said...

Central Perk

elena said...

Hey anon that's my question.

toujours said...

still here! but also revelling in the wonder that is the writing team of us. ♥

toujours said...

central perk: yes.

mr. schwimmer's house: decidedly not.

Anonymous said...

I spent the last twenty minutes conflicted over whether or not I should rent interview with a vampire. It looks good, but I went with a no for tonight. Eek.

I loves you too elena. You too TJ :)

toujours said...

aw, bc. :)

i think you should watch "interview with a vampire" sometime. the book is better but the movie has its moments.

Anonymous said...

*
*
:*

:)

Anonymous said...

Don't waste your time with interview with a vampire or queen of the damned.

Anonymous said...

yenoh thgindoog
uoy dessim i
(:

elena said...

I would do some of those cute little do-daddies but poor Elena doesn't know how.

Anonymous said...

Thanks TJ. The movie is cheap to rent, so I'll probably check that out and then go to my local library to see if they have the book there. I heard it's good.

Anonymous said...

oot uoy dessim i
yppah maerd nac i won tub
(:

Anonymous said...

Anon, thanks, but I have already seen queen of the damned, but stayed away from the book. It looks bad from what I hear although Stuart Townsend was the only perk in the movie ^_~

toujours said...

bc, it's not the best vampire movie out there, but i think it's one that everyone should have in their head. :)

Anonymous said...

Yep, and while I was watching the trailer for interview, there were showing a scene of this plantation that resembled a mansion.

The other day I was looking through the new orleans travel guide and saw an exact picture of the plantation that was shown in the movie.

Anonymous said...

Anew post would have been nice.

Anonymous said...

I believe they filmed Interview in NOLA. Yes? No?

Personally I found the choice of Tom Cruise as Lestat rather disturbing. He is neither charming nor sophisticated. When you watch him in the role, all you see is Tom Cruise in period clothes and a bad wig.

Anonymous said...

I think they did anon, but I'm a newbie when it comes to Anne Rice. I have only read one of her novels even though I bought a couple more not too long ago.

Tom Cruise is bad. I sense no charisma from him whatsoever.

elena said...

Mayo

So Mr. Lurky Pants it was good to see you. At least I don’t have to yell at you now. Not that I would, mind you. Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? I would totally yell at you. Out of concern, you get that right? I mean I know you’re busy. That whole “you’ve got a life” thing. I get that. Still just how long does it take to say, “I’m here, I’m well?” Shit, sorry about that I totally just fell into the “mom” voice. I’m always reminding my girls that it only takes a second to let me know their okay. Well, I worry about you, not gonna lie. I was fucking pleased to see you about. And as for what you did….thanks for posting Paperheart’s words. I am always amazed by her sensitivity and her gentle soul. She makes me simile and always gives me hope for the future.

Did you remember to press your leaves? Hope so. Hey, tomorrows task is kinda fun. Really, it is. Tomorrow have lunch at McDonalds. But here’s the thing you have to order a Happy Meal. Then when you’re done find a child in the restaurant and give them your toy. Sorry Mayo, but you have to give your toy away. Trust me it will make you feel good.

Well back to work for me. I still have hours of shit to do before I can lay my weary head down.

Night Mayo

Elena (go for the french fries not the apple slices)

Anonymous said...

Goodnight elena sweet dreams

toujours said...

good night elena. it was really good to talk with you. :)

i have to admit, bc, i agree with the anon about tom cruise in that movie.

i'm heading out, too. good night bc, and anons.

sweet dreams everyone.

Anonymous said...

It's okay TJ. I don't even like tom cruise ^_^

Goodnight and sweet dreams!

toujours said...

mayo,

this evening i went outside in the last hour before sunset and had a nice sit-down with my gods. it was a very satisfying way to mark the day.

but before that, i had a rambly, reading sort of day. this is what i was thinking about for part of it.

i think we all live each of us within a wall, partially of our own making, partially simply because we are flesh and blood and bone, separate.

some people only need a wattle fence, light and airy. mine is sometimes made of stone. i'm not able to easily reach out beyond it, though i long to. i can touch someone on the shoulder or arm when moved to do so, i'm not phobic about it. i am able to offer comfort. but it isn't effortless. i have to approach something like giving a hug as one does an expedition outside the fortress. it requires planning.

but when i was married, i had the freedom to reach over and touch him. without a thought, i could lay my hand on his cheek or thread my fingers through his. i even forgot sometimes how much a gift it was to be able to do so, how much a gift it was that marriage had made my wall unnecessary.

he's the only one i've ever touched so freely.

that's what i remembered today -- how even a single touch carries with it a deep magic, and an abiding blessing. never take the ability to touch another for granted.

i would give anything to never have built this wall.



that's more morose than i meant it to be. it was just a quiet thought i had between pages today.

good night, mayo. sweet dreams.

Anonymous said...

I guess no one is here, so I'm off to bed as well. Goodnight to anyone here, sweet dreams.

Sugarplum: Yep, I'm leaving another note for you before i go to sleep and dream. I wanted to say thanks for the links that you posted earlier today in the morning. I have no preference; both JP and Ville are gorgeous, although they look alike. Ha, I couldn't help saying that.

I forgot to see the nightwish links that you posted but I shall see them tomorrow. I think they are doing another U.S. tour next year, but I'm not sure. Anyways, I hope you had a great day and I hope your niece is recovering, and you too. Sweet dreams *blows kisses and hug*

Night everyone.

Anonymous said...

Mayo

That was a very thoughtful thing you did for Paperheart. To my mind she really is the most together person I have met here. She is consistently thoughtful regardless whether she is going through terrible times, and she has experienced really bad times in the past year, or good times. I wish her the bright, happy and successful future she deserves and I really believe she will achieve it.

I have read the comments on the previous pape and found myself agreeing with most of the Anon comments. It is sad to see how far your blog has fallen. It is, for the most part, repetitious child speak and snarky comments. Exclusion is the name of the game. I bet you feel sad too.

I hope you now feel an appreciation for the contributions of all those who have left. They may have been quieter personalities and may not have told you they love you as much but their intelligence and friendliness is sorely missed.

I hope your blog recovers as I miss how it was terribly.

Have a great Tuesday.

Smoke said...

PH is an angel. That's pretty much all there is to it.

See you later, Mayo.

sdock10 said...

BlogBelieve,

Well, here we go again. I guess this might be the first morning that I woke up, read the comments, and wanted to walk away, to give up on this place.

But that would be the easy thing to do, and Lord knows I never do anything the easy way.

It has never been Mayo's responsibility to maintain this blog for us or our friendships. Sure it sucks that things aren't the way they were a year ago, but can I be honest? Things haven't been the same for me since February. That silly shit hurt this blog more than anything. I'm sorry that people felt they had to leave, but I made up my mind after that fiasco I would never ever beg anyone to stay. People have to do what is in their best interest for their own mental health.

Anons keep talking about how some on here were done so wrong, but how about me? Jules? Fimble Star? Mustard? PPU? Katherine? Smoke even gets picked on. Maybe we deserved it, huh? Maybe that's okay.

It's time for a little honesty here. Let's stop trying to force friendships on people that are obviously destroyed beyond repair. Let's stop putting responsibility on Mayo and start looking in the mirror. Let's stop pretending that everything is going to go back to the way it once was because it's so obviously not.

And with that said, have a good Tuesday!

Mustard, I miss you already.

Anon616 said...

Good morning/afternoon/evening Mayo, SS, Sweetcheeks, Elena, TJ, Paperheart; various anons, watchers and lurkers; Lewis Carroll fans and fans of Peter and Wendy (*wink*) in the land o'blogbelieve!

How are you all this morning? Good, I hope!

Mayo: Good to 'see' you around. Thank you for putting up Paperheart's words of wisdom! Yes, she is wise beyond her years, isn't she?! I've told her that from the beginning. Perhaps she'll believe you! One can hope!

I've often wondered what wisdom had to do with the number of years a person has walked this earth. I think we all know that true wisdom comes from experience. No, not the number of years we've experienced; but, the amount and variety of experiences in those years. Hence the whole "We live and we learn" thing!

*apologies for psychobabble*

BC: I hope Nightwish comes back next year. The first month of next year would be good (and not soon enough) for me!!! Thank you for the well wishes to my niece. She went to the doctor, yesterday and her doctor sent her to the hospital for a cardiogram. (She beat me. She's only 17 and I didn't have my first cardiogram until I was 19!) We'll have the results of that today.

She also needs to see an eye doctor. The area behind a person's eyes is supposed to be clear (apparently);but, my niece had cloudiness. I'm not sure what that means; but, we shall hope for the best!

Thank you so much for thinking of her, sweetcheeks!!!!!

Ergo: I'm thinking of you and hoping you're having a great time!

Elena and TJ: Thanks for passing Ergo's messages to us!

Amy: I have a serious case of virus! ;)

For reading pleasure and pondering consideration today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NIGHTWISH!!!!
*just kidding, sort of*

Five Short Chapters on Change
Author Unknown


Chapter 1.
I walk down a street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's my fault.

Chapter 2.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's not my fault.

Chapter 3.
I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5.
I walk down a different street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes it takes awhile, doesn't it?

May you all enjoy the view down a different street, today! Still, watch out for the holes...
;)

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

HI PJ, Gel, Jade, Martha, Fruit Punch, Angel, DA and P anon!!!

Anon616 said...

Ooops, good morning Sdock! I hope PPU recovers from that hummer incident soon. It sounds quite painful!

You must devise a plan to get that horn back!
;)

Smoke said...

You said it nicer and a hell of a lot better than I ever could, Sdock.

Thank you.

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Hope you are doing well.

Thanks for putting up PH's words. She has always talked more sense and been more self aware than just about anyone here. That young lady is going to go far in life and you'll be able to say that you knew her way back when.

Dude, let's just say that I would completely understand if you pulled the plug on all this, but I would also completely understand if you didn't. Do what you need to do for yourself, Mayo. Turn off the comments option if you think that might help. At least we could take the pissing and moaning some place else. It's certainly not your responsibility to play referee.

Have a nice Tuesday.

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. Just don't know.

Anonymous said...

The truth often hurts. It is true that not everyone is going to think you are wonderful. It is true that respect is earned not granted. It is true not every one is going to think you have a brilliant mind.

Get over it!

A little humility goes a long way.

Smoke said...

The truth.

Now there's something to think about.

Hahaha.

Mayo,

Have a good one! Thanks for putting PH's words up. She really is an angel, ya know.


SS,

Hope you are having a good one as well!

Later folks.

Anonymous said...

amen 7.18

farawaysoclose said...

morning all!

mayo that was lovely of you to put PH's words up. She is a smart cookie and a genuine sweetheart. i was not nearly as wise and thoughtful as her when i was 16 yrs old. Hell i'm still not!

i don't know if it bothers you? all the shit? the picking on people and guilt tripping and all the rest. this blog reflects real life that's for sure. maybe we shouldn't expect anything more? it is still a special place mayo. i know i'm not around so much but that doesn't for one minute mean i am not thinking of you all. cos i really am!!

have a good one mayo.


hey SS you too! wherever you are. take it easy!


hey guys!

hi to everyone here!

i just popped in and then i had to read back a bit. makes me so sad that people feel the need to pick pick pick. people have left, it is very sad. people have to make a choice and they do. i know some people are sad that they no longer feel comfortable/welcome here. others just moved on and are fine with that.

dunno what else to say.

soooooo have a good one if you can guys!

love to you all!!

TJ wanted to just say that your words in your goodnight were beautiful. really touching.

and mayo if you get the happy meal, get two! they are tiny....wouldn't fill up a .....erm.......child! hee hee!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why Smoke, solly, and kapunua get blamed for people leaving this blog. How can you run someone off the computer? This is a blog and all you have to do is log on. If they don't like them, there are other people that they could talk to. There are people in real life that won't always get along so get over it. Move on.

Anonymous said...

7:58

Some people just have more sensitive natures.

It may be only a blog, but they can still react emotionally to what is being presented before them.

I think everyone must try to understand that everyone is unique and that includes their perception of things.

Anonymous said...

Some people just have more sensitive natures.




I understand that as i am one of those with a sensitive nature. How ever, there are plenty of others that they can talk to on this blog and people seem to miss those that are missing.

Anonymous said...

good morning
♥♥

Anonymous said...

I appreciate what you are saying 8:12, it has merit.

However not everyone has the ability to just "jump in" and join a conversation. Especially if it's surrounded by negativity. Perhaps it's something they have to learn, or it could be shyness, who knows?

What happens on this blog is not really all that different to what happens in the real world.

Maybe it's more intensified due to the anonymity factor.

Anonymous said...

However not everyone has the ability to just "jump in" and join a conversation. Especially if it's surrounded by negativity. Perhaps it's something they have to learn, or it could be shyness, who knows?


Thats true even in my case, mostly i lurk, and i only talk to those that i feel comfortable with, but i don't bash the ones that i don't really talk to.

Anonymous said...

It's like this, i really hate my boss, but a girls gotta eat..so instead of quitting my job i go and put up with the bullshit and i get paid.LOL!

Anonymous said...

i don't bash the ones that i don't really talk to.

I really don't see the point to that either 8:33.

As I already indicated, it's similar to the real world. Some will try to dominate because they want to be on top or are insecure, some lack tact or just speak their minds and others may feel they have to conform.

But bear in mind no one is perfect or totally "nice". We may all do mean things from time to time.

And you just have to see how emotionally invested some are: the "love anons" being a good example.

toujours said...

good morning.

does anyone here have any way of getting in touch with pixie?

9 people were killed by a gunman at a college in kauhajoki, which is a town apparently 180 miles nw of helsinki. i'm sorry to say i can't remember where she's from except that it's finland, or even what she did (did she go to school? did she work full-time?) i mostly talked about snow and apartment-hunting with her.

i'm being a worrywort, but could someone check on her?

elena said...

Morning Mayo

I haven’t said that in a while. This morning it just feels like I needed to say it. I’ve read some of the comments since I was last here and I just want to share my thoughts. Some valid points were brought up. Yes, it is silly to force friendships on people. That truly never works. People like who they like and you can’t change that. But at the same time just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you can’t be civil. Honestly how many people in real life to you encounter every day that you don’t particularly like? How many people do you have to deal with that you wish you didn’t have to be around? Well, for most people at least a few. However to be a functioning person in the real world you have to learn to get over it and deal with them. Here should be no different. You may not like everyone but damn it people need to be respectful of each other. But here, unlike the real world, there is a twist. The anon factor. So many things are said under anon that would never be said if they knew their words would be recognized. It would be like hating your boss and hiding down the hall yelling what a dick he is from the shadows where no one would know it’s you. How stupid. No one would do that so why do it here? If you don’t like someone that’s okay. But people need to remember that doesn’t give them the right to be cruel to that person. It doesn’t give them the right to be nasty. It gives them the right to say hello to that person then move on. Just like in real life.

Mayo you aren’t a referee. I hope when this idea is brought up you shake your head and laugh. It’s not your responsibility to try to make people play nice. Bet you’re glad for that.

I will always believe this place is magical. So many wonderful things have come from this place but like in everything there is good and bad. We have let the bad overshadow the good lately. Just like in real life – ups and downs. We all have the power to change that. It can be done but we have to want it and we have to work for it. It’s true we all need to look in the mirror. We all need to put ourselves in someone else’s place if only for a minute and let the words thrown at them hit us instead. It won’t feel nice but maybe it will make us realize something about ourselves. Maybe it will make us stop and think before we “speak.” Words are powerful. Please use that power wisely.

I truly love this place. The people who are here are part of this world created by Mayo. He gave us a gift. Let’s all try to take care of it together.

Anonymous said...

A wise man once wrote

Watch out now, take care
Beware of falling swingers
Dropping all around you
The pain that often mingles
In your fingertips
Beware of darkness

Watch out now, take care
Beware of the thoughts that linger
Winding up inside your head
The hopelessness around you
In the dead of night

Beware of sadness
It can hit you
It can hurt you
Make you sore and what is more
That is not what you are here for

Watch out now, take care
Beware of soft shoe shufflers
Dancing down the sidewalks
As each unconscious sufferer
Wanders aimlessly
Beware of maya

Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
They take you where you should not go
While weeping atlas cedars
They just want to grow, grow and grow
Beware of darkness (beware of darkness)

elena said...

Thank you anon. I haven't heard that song in so long. I miss George. I think today I'll listen to his music and remember.

Anonymous said...

Elena,

Wise words. I agree with the majority of what you said.

However, what you refer to as the "anon" factor, I would call back-stabbing in the real world. And that unfortunately is very common place.

Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; --happiness; but few are going by the same road.

Anon616 said...

Good morning TJ and Elena!

TJ: Pixie no longer lives in Helsinki. She moved back to Germany in June. I hope her friends back in Finland are all safe. My heart goes out to the victims and their families. Of all things to spread across the oceans, why did it have to be violence?

Thanks for letting us know and I'm sure Pixie will appreciate the concern.

Elena: Well said and thank you for saying it!

Off to bring Sandy Ann to the vet. She needs her shots. My poor big girl!

Anonymous said...

It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them

Anonymous said...

Elena, these are very wise and true words. Most people to do not enjoy being mocked and ignored.

Good manners cost nothing and if there are those who mock others here when in different places then that just speaks volumes about their integrity and maturity and the least attention they receive the better.

I also believe that another reason for people leaving is that the quality of the blog has deteriorated. I agree with the anon above who mentioned the repetitious child speak etc. It is just incessent and it feels like Buzznet and such like.

Efforts have been made by others to raise topics but these get lost in the sea of inanity and people just give up.

Mayo is not the referee. He is owner of this blog and I know he used to enjoy it here. I would really like to know, although I know I never will, what he feels about the direction this place is taking because it is his place, not ours. If he is happy with the direction then those who don't like it can bow out with dignity and perhaps a little sadness. If he is unhappy then perhaps those who still lurk may be able to return reenergised to breathe new life into what was once great.

Maybe behaviours can change. Good manners can prevail. I hope so.

toujours said...

wendy, thanks for the info about pixie. i'm relieved that the shooting incident has nothing to do with her, but still saddened that such things happen, of course.

i also appreciate what elena wrote, but i can understand the concern that others feel. the character of the blog has changed. perhaps it's only natural that it would. but there's still so much that is good about this place. all we can do is decide for ourselves how much it means to us to be a part of it, and persevere accordingly.

i have a coule more things i need to do online before shut-down time (which is a definite deadline today as we are going into town this morning, no dilly-dallying on my part!), so i'll just say ciao now and wish you all a good day, here and in the real world.

enjoy the day blogbelieve, and see you tonight.

bye, mayo. :)

toujours said...

"a couple more things i need to do"

and i proofread that time, too. *sigh*

Fimble Star said...

Mayo, Thank you for recognising Paperhearts words, she truly is amazing and by far, more mature than any 16 year old I know.

Paperhearts/007, thank you for your words and for being here, I always like to see your name.

A few weeks ago, I made a comment and shockingly enough, someone in blue came out and agreed but in a snarky manner towards me, so I replied with that same manner. I know I shouldn’t have lowered myself to her level and I should have just said ‘well, you feel like that then fine’ but I didn’t and I was in fact, snarky with her back. So my apologies go to that person.

Some people have arguments, then that argument gradually gets larger because the people who are involved often have their friends get involved. This makes a small place seem hostile or extremely cold. This place started off with everyone talking and being friends with each other, but unfortunately issues arise and things happened for people to lose trust and respect in people that they thought they knew. You don’t have to speak to anyone that you don’t want to, but you don’t need to be mean if there was in fact, no meanness in the first place towards yourself.

Some people decided to ask mayo some questions one afternoon but in doing so, they were shouted at and made to feel guilty by people who in their own mind, do the same things. Mayo and SS are their own people, no one can make them do things or say things that they don’t wish to do. If they feel the need to go and walk next to the river, then they will do that, if they feel the need to talk to someone (Maybe it is important) then I think that they will talk to that person.

All I am trying to say is

It takes two to tango. But maybe the music has muted and it isn't the time to dance anymore.

I hope that every single one of you today has an excellent and happy day, and if you don’t then I am sorry, and wish it for you for the next day.

Have a nice Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone!

It's downright brisk up here, especially after 100+ degree weather. I sort of love it, you know? I can let go of that last frayed edge of summer. I'm wearing my huge knitted plum sweater. I've had it for about six years and it's my favorite. I hope everyone has a favorite fall sweater. :)

Well, I am off to go pick up my birds! I miss them so hard. Havoc is going to be so happy to get home.

Mayo, nice choice with PH's words up there. She's got a really good point: it is scary to let people in, for some of us. Some can do it so easily, but I know that for me, it's a challenge, and apparently for you, too. But she's right: it's worth it.

Well, off I go!

S(S)S, I hope you are somewhere where the weather is brisk, wearing your favorite sweater. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, TJ and Fimble, I didn't see you guys up there as I was writing my comment. O_o

Anonymous said...

Certain people on this blog used to act like they were Mayo's and SS's guard dogs. I would ask either of them a question and get scolded for it like I wasn't allowed to talk to them. It was ridiculous and really turned me off from interacting with anyone.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Elena, these are very wise and true words. Most people to do not enjoy being mocked and ignored.

Good manners cost nothing and if there are those who mock others here when in different places then that just speaks volumes about their integrity and maturity and the least attention they receive the better.

I also believe that another reason for people leaving is that the quality of the blog has deteriorated. I agree with the anon above who mentioned the repetitious child speak etc. It is just incessent and it feels like Buzznet and such like.

Efforts have been made by others to raise topics but these get lost in the sea of inanity and people just give up.

Mayo is not the referee. He is owner of this blog and I know he used to enjoy it here. I would really like to know, although I know I never will, what he feels about the direction this place is taking because it is his place, not ours. If he is happy with the direction then those who don't like it can bow out with dignity and perhaps a little sadness. If he is unhappy then perhaps those who still lurk may be able to return reenergised to breathe new life into what was once great.

Maybe behaviours can change. Good manners can prevail. I hope so.

September 23, 2008 9:55 AM

Very true. Even though I agree that Mayo will not answer, I too wish he would let the people here know what he thought. It's his blog, he should have some say.

Anonymous said...

10:59, I'm sorry you were treated that way. Please try again, if you want. This place truly needs new life.

Anonymous said...

If you miss someone, contact them. It's that simple. Lots of them are still available on other blogs.

This place turned from an all accepting hangout to a childish club. The poison just keeps spreading.

Anonymous said...

Actually it was Mayo himself who once said that he had never addressed an anon and he shot the idea of ever talking to an anon, down.

Anonymous said...

If Mayo had a problem with people being mistreated something would have been done. I know, I know, it's not his job but what kind of person ignores things like that? Named, Anon, whatever, you come to my blog you get respect. You have the right to verbally abuse people here and it seems encouraged by the owner.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the sacred enigma shuns the nameless masses yet thrives on the attention of logged in back stabbers. Funny, eh?

Anonymous said...

11:08 where?

Anonymous said...

It's funny. I used to come here a lot. I would make up games, start different topics, play characters, and I hope, give some understanding and nice words to those who needed them. I especially enjoyed making people laugh. This place has changed, or maybe I have changed, but I no longer am inspired the way I used to be. I can't change the way I feel.

Anonymous said...

10:59

Your experience is pretty much the experience of many I imagine. It is very sad.

The difficulty is that Mayo responds to these people when they address him and that is why I said at 9:55 that I would like Mayo to let us know his opinion on the current direction of the blog. We can then make an informed decision about our future within the blog.

The other thing to consider though is that when people, here and in real life, shout us down and we retreat then we have given them control. We have to determine whether it is worth being ourselves regardless of bullies (or control freaks if you would prefer)or whether, in this instance, the blog and the good people within it is worth sticking around for.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

No one, face to face or on the internet, is ever worth allowing yourself to be mistreated over. Ever.

elena said...

Just got to work so I'm catching up. Hello to K, Fimble and TJ

However, what you refer to as the "anon" factor, I would call back-stabbing in the real world. And that unfortunately is very common place.

Yes, in the real world it is called back-stabbing because it is done behind someones back not to their face. The anon factor allows it to be done to their face while not being "seen". That is the difference.

Maybe the sky is a different color in my world because I look at it through rose colored glasses. Maybe that's the way I have to look at it to get by. Whatever the reason I truly believe that we can all get along. We don't all have to be best friends but we can all get along. At least that's my hope.

Anonymous said...

I will consider what you have said 11:20 and thank you for reponding to my words.

Take care.

Jennicula said...

Mayo, it was good of you to put Paperheartxx words up. They were spoken from the heart and can be applied to any one of us here.

Elena, you made a very valid point about the real world. We should all play nice with everybody. Even when we don't really like that person, just suck it up and make nice.

It has been a circus around here lately and I find that I have less and less to say, but more and more to read. I don't want to jump in the middle of whatever drama is going on at the moment. Not to mention I don't feel like being snarked on by anons. So I lurk.

Speaking of lurking, I'm going to lurk someplace else for a while.

Have a lovely afternoon Bloogbelieve.

Anonymous said...

Its good to see you haven't totally lost the ability to recognize good advice when you hear it, Mayo.

Perhaps you just needed to hear it from a different source.

How about giving some of those words consideration?

MissTottenham said...

Hi Mayo, Hi SS, Hi everyone, how are you all?


Better than me I hope.


I have just literally come off the phone to find out that my friend who had breast cancer before mum,the one who gave mum advice and reassurance through her treatment, has had her cancer come back. It has spread and she probably won't survive the week. She is such a lovely woman with really adorable kids and they are gonna be heartbroken.


Please can everyone send their thoughts to her and her family. Her name is Laura.

I am numb, I don't know what to say.

It was gonna be her 40th this year. She was gonna have a big party or a nice family holiday. That is all gone for her.

Her poor poor family. This is gonna be an awful loss for them. Laura was a wonderful loving, fun and happy person. She has never let her cancer get her down and she always believed she would beat it.


I am gonna go away and cry now.

elena said...

MissT I am so sorry. That is heartbreaking. Life can change for all of us so quickly. I will keep her and her family in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Those are not the values I want to pass on; little yellow ribbon magnets, stick-on american flags and singing God Bless America at Disneyworld. I believe in neither god nor america.


This is exactly why so many here dislike you so heavily. Soldiers are dying for this country and you are saying you don't believe in what they are dying for. There are people who believe in God and you insult them by making light of Him. It is the insensitivity to other's beliefs. You always say you don't believe in true love. Well others do. Let them have their beliefs without you bringing them down.

Sorry, but this is just a big part of why people can't stand you. If you don't believe in God or America (which you don't even have the decency to capitalize), then take your non beliefs and go somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

And you didn't even have the decency to say a kind word to MissTottenham who you claim to like.

Anonymous said...

Miss Tottenham,

I am so, so sorry to hear of your friend. It does remind us to live every day as if it were your last. Although there is nothing any of us can say or do to keep her here, please give her love, and love to those left behind.

Anonymous said...

2:13, the problem isn't with her beliefs, she is perfectly entitled to believe as she wants, and she shouldn't be attacked for those beliefs. The problem is she does not extend the same courtesy to others beleifs.

Anonymous said...

Because I am a decent person unlike SOME, Miss Tottenham, I am also very sorry.

Anonymous said...

If her beliefs are always attacking mine then she is oppressing me.

Smoke said...

MissT,

I am so sorry about your friend Laura. That is just terrible news and I wish I could hug you right now.

I am here for you if you need me. I hope you know that.

Anonymous said...

What I mean is that the way she says those things makes it seem like she thinks people who do believe in God and America are wrong. And I say if you want to feel that way then go somewhere else where other's agree and stop dragging your personal hatred of God and America to where you know it's going to bother people.

Anonymous said...

And I guess if you don't believe in God it's perfectly OK in your world to not give a word of comfort to one who's friend is dying. To someone you claim to be your friend, who is in need. Nope not a word. She once said she would shout God down if He bothered her. How can you shout down what you don't even believe in?

Anonymous said...

Mayo never said he wouldn't talk to anon posts - he said he wouldn't address hurtful and hateful posts.



I am also sad about what has happened to this place. Mayo use to come in and talk, but I bet he is afraid to anymore.

Hopefully things will change.

Anonymous said...

2:21, the thing is, she really doesn't care about anyone else. Your words won't affect her, she has shown that time and time again. So many times someone has voiced their opinon only to receive an "I disagree so hard". If she would voice her side of the discussion and show respect for the other's opinion, it would be different. If you don't agree, she will beat you over the head with her beliefs until you leave.

Anonymous said...

Exactly. And since she doesn't believe in anything you know she won't be praying for Miss Tottenham and her friends. Don't even bother asking.

Anonymous said...

decency look it up

Anonymous said...

There is nothing decent or an ounce of charity in her. She won't even try

Anonymous said...

K voted for Ralph Nader. that's all you need to know. she's a moron that's not worth getting upset over.

farawaysoclose said...

hey i don't believe in God or America either!!

but well i am english and an atheist!

just kidding around! well it's true to a certain extent!! ^_~



miss T i'm so very sorry to hear the news of your friend. that is just awful and not even 40 yrs old. so very very young. my thoughts go out to her and her family, and to you of course. you must be feeling numb. take care babe!

hi princess, elena, jenn, nice anons and anyone else!

oh yeh hi mayo and SS also!

Eliza Bennett37 said...

Miss T

Hello there babe. Just packing for flight to Ireland tomorrow and thought I would come here to distract me from the obligatory "tidy up before I go" session.

I read your terrible news. Both you and I know that life can be horrible and I really cannot find the words to describe what it is like to lose a mother-not even 4 years later. Those poor children.

This is reminiscent of little Paperheart's aunt. Terrible, terrible!

I hope all goes as well as only can be hoped. Take good care of your mummy-give her a big squeezy hug cos believe me, although it is cheap and cheerful, that is the most wonderful and priceless feeling in the world.

Good luck with your course and I look forward to hearing all about it when I get back.

Lots of love

EB37 xxx

elena said...

FASC - HELLO

So good to see you!

farawaysoclose said...

hi EB! safe trip to the emerald isle!

ELENA!!!!!

i know it's been so long!
how are you doing?
i am fine. bizzy but fine!

Anonymous said...

I was out collecting my birds and my crow and settling them back in, if you must know.

Actually, anon(s), what is indecent is using someone else's pain in order to drag someone else down or curry favor on an anonymous blog. Do you think you're actually helping by saying those things? Will your nasty words to me actually, literally help MissT or her friend?

Go on and keep saying whatever you want. And while you're at it, keep trying to build some kind of ridiculous "case" against me in order to make other anonymous people like me less, or not at all. You just go ahead and go nuts with that. If people want to believe the worst, that is their option. Anyone who knows me well enough, or who has met me, knows better, and they are the ones I value; the ones I would go out of my way to not let down. Everyone else can go hang; and I suspect that's what bothers you.

Clearly some of you aren't the "I've lurked and never said anything before" crowd because you've been invested in this deeply enough to have visited my journal, my web page to find out where I train, and some of you sent enough emails to get me fired. So, why do you not sign in? It's not because you're afraid of me. It's a blog, and anything I could possibly say back to you has already been said to me, a thousand times-told uglier. You're not afraid of me. You just know that you'll look foolish and petty in front of people you want to impress.

The people who like me already like me. The ones who don't never will. Why should I waste my time pandering to you and your crappy cause? And that's what gets you, isn't it? That I don't play the "nice-nice" game or kowtow to people who aren't nice to me.

I usually just ignore you lot or make light of you, like I did last night because honestly, sometimes you do give me a giggle with your chest-beating hatred and your frantic need to prove to Mayo that I have done some mysterious terrible thing.

But using someone else's pain in order to further your stupid, internet-drama driven agenda really, really sucks.

And so, no, anons: your beliefs and opinions really do not mean anything to me. You got that part right.

Anonymous said...

Hi FASC, Elena, and ElizaBennet! It's been a long time since you've been about! So nice to read you. Always nice to see friendly faces, actually. :)

FASC, you wanna go be chaotic and evil with me? ;D

Anonymous said...

I also wanna thank 12:34 AM because you nailed it shut and I like a good, brief, to the point "STFU." ;)

farawaysoclose said...

FASC, you wanna go be chaotic and evil with me? ;D

i think we were in the same level of hell anyway K, along with Mr Mayonaise!!

Anonymous said...

We all meet people every day whose values, viewpoints and opinions differ from our own, from our taste in music to our sexuality or our political or religious beliefs. We all make decisions based on our own moral compass and belief system. Diversity should not be feared or hated, it should be embraced. Its what makes us individuals.

Sometimes you can embrace those differences and learn from them as they provide you with a fresh new perspective and sometimes you just can't. You don't have to like everyone and you certainly don't have to agree with the opinions of others, but you should respect them.

Nobody is saying you should all get along all the time. Thats not realistic, even for the closest of friends.

Respect is key.

elena said...

FASC I know I owe you an e-mail. Actually I have so much to tell you. I really will try to write it tonight. I've miss you so much.

Hello K

Anonymous said...

kapunua, we accept your apology.





LOL, just playing!

elena said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you Anon at 3:05

Very well said.

farawaysoclose said...

FASC I know I owe you an e-mail. Actually I have so much to tell you. I really will try to write it tonight. I've miss you so much.

and i have missed you so bloody much too! if you get chance to email later that would be fab!

no worries if not though i understand.

farawaysoclose said...

Respect is key.

yes indeed anon!

Anonymous said...

Well said indeed. On the other hand, if someone has already been rude to me or to my friends, then I don't feel the need to respect them. Once it's gone, it's gone.

I also agree that it's just not realistic to expect everyone to like each other all the time. I've always said this. So the "So and so obviously doesn't like so and so, that is evil!" thing is ridiculous. Like Solly said, you can't force friendship on others.

3:07, ^_^

FASC, that's right, we were, weren't we? :)

Anonymous said...

Also, yeah, I did vote for Nader the first time around. Big mistake. I have learned a lot politically since then. Please allow that eight years under the yoke of this administration may change one's perspective.

elena said...

Kapunua said...
Well said indeed. On the other hand, if someone has already been rude to me or to my friends, then I don't feel the need to respect them. Once it's gone, it's gone.


But by not respecting them you put yourself on their level. You become like them. I'm not saying you need to cozy up to them. All I'm saying is by being nice to others who have been rude you become the better person. And maybe your actions will change their behavior for the good.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I just read an awesome quote from the writer of those books I was pimping last night, J.V. Hart. Check this out.

J.M. Barrie knew that Peter is in all of us—and so is Captain Hook. The good and the bad. The young and the old. The light and the dark. We may all want to be Peter Pan or Wendy or the Lost Boys or Tiger Lily when we are young, but what would the world be without Captain Hook?

^_^

Anonymous said...

Well said indeed. On the other hand,





you should of left at indeed, you almost did it and you had to go and push it and say on the other hand...! LOL

Anonymous said...

Elena, but the thing is that I just don't have time for that, so I usually just ignore them or make light of them. And it's the way I was raised, too. Treat others the way they treat you. It's just not my station in life to teach people lessons or to try to better them if they already hate me. Just let them have their fun is what I say, and usually I ignore them, but sometimes--like today--they hit a new low.

And I'm sorry, but when they were calling me "dog killer" the day after my dog died; when they were making fun of me because I couldn't walk when I injured myself the day before she died; and when they wrote those emails to get me fired, well then, there's just no redeeming them in my eyes so I'd better just let them go their ways. They get no respect from me.

Anonymous said...

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

farawaysoclose said...

shit!!

where has mustard's blog gone??

i was catching up and it's not there anymore??

does anyone know what's going on and if she is alright?

Anonymous said...

K that's specific people. You can't punish so many people for what a few did.

Anonymous said...

I don't "punish" anyone, anon. This is a blog. You do realize that, don't you? Most of the time I'm just here chatting with my friends, and then people come on here calling us names and accusing us of mad crazy things. The best thing to do is turn it on its ear. If people are good to me, I am good to them. If not, then not. Simple as.

elena said...

K - I know that there have been some very vile things said about you and that always upsets me more than I can say. I hate when shit is said about anyone.

I think the big difference in the way you and I look at things is something you said....

Treat others the way they treat you.

My belief is this - Treat others the way you WANT them to treat you.

Yeah, that doesn't always work. Hell, it doesn't work a lot of the time but is is what I believe and what I always try to do.

Anonymous said...

Sure she can, she's like that. Miss don't stereotype this and that is a hypocrite.

Anonymous said...

Elena, I applaud your maturity. Maybe some of it will rub off on the less fortunate.

Anonymous said...

there are so many anons here, it gets kind of confusing, and maybe some of the comments are not for you, but there is no confusing the hateful anons and you expect respect?

Anonymous said...

My belief is this - Treat others the way you WANT them to treat you.

And I do, at first. Once they start getting rude with me, then that's it. I just don't have the time or patience for that. People get ridiculous and I hate that snippiness, so I usually just ignore it. When I ignore it, then they squall about being ignored. Well, that's too bad. I go on this blog each time usually feeling cheerful and with things that inspire me or make me laugh. Within minutes they are here trying to poison people against me and each time they have some new weird thing they've said I or my friends have done. It's just so out of control, and I don't like to waste my time on those people.

I do my thing. I enjoy the things that I enjoy and I like to talk to my friends about them. In a public forum, everyone is entitled to voice their opinion (though obviously a handful of us have to sit on our opinions once in a while because every teeny little thing we say or do gets shredded to bits, like our recent little get together. Why would anyone want to ruin that or drag it down? It was such a nice time.)

I don't mind the opinions others have of me; they are entitled to them. But to ask me to treat them well for it, well, I just don't have the patience for that.

Anonymous said...

I go on this blog each time usually feeling cheerful and with things that inspire me or make me laugh. Within minutes they are here trying to poison people against me and each time they have some new weird thing they've said I or my friends have done. It's just so out of control, and I don't like to waste my time on those people.






So true, i have been seeing alot of that going on.

farawaysoclose said...

so where's mustard??

Anonymous said...

^ Thanks. And it's so weird, the random things they will jump on. Like Fimble's innocuous comment about me feigning a mental breakdown in the hotel room. It's a handful of us, and we can hardly say anything without it relating in some way to this blog. It might come as a surprise to those anons, but not everything in the world is related to this blog.

Anonymous said...

farawaysoclose said...

so where's mustard??


Disenchanted. :(

Suppose I chased her away?

Anonymous said...

It really is a "chicken and the egg" scenario. It all depends who was rude first.

Anyone care to go back and look?

farawaysoclose said...

oh is she OK K?

when did she delete her blog?

Anonymous said...

Most things done by K aren't on this blog.

Anonymous said...

You could go on and on with "you started it" "no you did" "no you did" to no avail. It's pointless. The truth is that some people just were never destined to get along.

As far as anons are concerned, well if you guys don't use your names, then it's nigh impossible to tell what you said and what you didn't, ain't it?

Anonymous said...

It is as simple as this, if you do not like someone, don't say hateful shit to them, talk to the people that you like, and let them talk to people they like. This was never suppose to be a hate blog. It seem now everytime that people talk ,someone pops in with a crude remark. Keep it to yourself.I doubt that person was even talking to you.

Anonymous said...

Blogger farawaysoclose said...

oh is she OK K?

when did she delete her blog?


I guess I don't feel right speaking for her. But I see where she's coming from though. SOmetimes it gets to be a bit much.


Anonymous said...

Most things done by K aren't on this blog.


This is so. I have a life outside of this blog and most things that I do are elsewhere. Even if that life has slowed down since I lost my job. I'm psyched now, and trying to be brave in knowing that soon I will be back in school, and a frigging medical school no less. I can hardly believe that I'm going through with it. I think about it every day. I'm more excited than scared though. Well, for now. :)

Anonymous said...

Amen 3:45.

But its all about control.

Anonymous said...

I think that 3:44 anon meant that the bad things by K are done in secret off this blog. She has become very secretive in the last few months.

farawaysoclose said...

thanks K for letting me know.

makes me sad but i do understand.

farawaysoclose said...

guys can we just drop this shit yeh? it's never ending and pretty tedious.

elena said...

I want to share a story that might explain how I feel better than just words.

In school I was the classic picked on kid. I was overweight, and well, goofy. As a very over protected only child I had never learned to deal with kids my own age.

There was a girl who made my life hell. She made fun of me everyday.It was her special goal in life. I hated her for it. But one day I began to wonder why she did it. Did it make her feel better about herself? Did it make her feel pretty to tell me how ugly I was? So I got up the nerve and decided to do something about it. I looked over at her and she snapped at me and wanted to know what I was looking at. I told her that I was looking at her earings. I thought they were pretty. She stared at me for the longest time. Finally she said thank you and looked away. Now here's the thing. I didn't really like her earrings. That wasn't the point. I wanted to find a way to get to know her. It worked but it took time. Finally she began to speak to me as a friend. That was when I found out about all the shit in her life. The shit that made her mean. I could understand why she was like she was. As time went on and we became friends I spoke about how she treated me before. She felt bad. She stopped being that way to others too.

Anonymous said...

She is the cat's mother!

Anonymous said...

My point as Mrs. Slocumbe is that you can talk to me instead of about me. I'm right here.

And if I seen "secretive," ask yourselves if that might be because some people were posting personal stuff abotu me, googling for where I lived, my last name, where I train, and all that other stuff.

Anonymous said...

What a boring place this world would be if eveyone was the same. Here we have our funny, sad, sarcastic,lonely,happy,smart,twisted, and sometimes pms..yes i said it, and thats what i love about this blog!

Anonymous said...

So K is like working for the Taliban or something? Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

At least we are writing grown up sentences and using grown up words.

This is indeed a breakthrough.

Anonymous said...

Elena, that works sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't. I've gone that route, ans sometimes to great avail, and sometimes to no avail.

Allow me to tell you a story. As you know, I was picked on, too. and by "picked on" I mean "regularly brutalized." Not just words, but assault. Not just once or twice, but regularly.

And once, I confronted the girl who did that to me in high school, and for a while we became friends. Although she was still just as messed up towards everyone else.

And another time, in sixth grade, one girl who always called me ugly and a bitch and "stupid indian n*gger" finally came up to me after recess and slapped me in the face.

I punched her in the nose. And then after that, she wanted to be my best friend, and she also never picked on anyone else again.

Another time, Brenden Smith held me down on the ground and stabbed me with his brother's insulin needles. I hit him with a 2X4 from a nearby fence. A few years later, he started in with someone at a party, and that person shot him in the face.

I don't look for trouble, but I never ran.

Anonymous said...

people from different cities and countries all with the same hopes and dreams and problems like everyone else.

Anonymous said...

The point is that it's not my job or my place to make people like me, or to try to change their perception of me or to ease away their hate-on. The best I can do in those situations is make light of it.

It is just a blog.

farawaysoclose said...

mrs. Slocumbe said...
She is the cat's mother!


shitting hell! do you get Are You Being Served in America???


lovely story elena.

i am one of those get on with everyone people, if i can.

anon @3.54 yes i agree!
but i think it's about time now(as in a whole year) that we were all PMS ing together in a group mayo bitchslap! just for old times sake if nothing else!

elena said...

I understand what you're saying K. Like I said the way I look at things doesn't always work out. But I always have to try. That's just me. Yeah, there have been people that I never could understand no matter how I tried. But I walked away from them knowing I did everything I could. I walked away knowing I tried my best.

Anonymous said...

My Dad wrote this song. This is him singing it.

It's kinda an anthem for me. ;D And if that makes me evil and awful and terrible--because I don't kowtow to people who harass me, people I know I can't change--then I'm evil. ^_^ And awful and terrible. :D

farawaysoclose said...

woah K that's some heavy shit!

Anonymous said...

FASC, we do get it! I have all the episodes on tape. That show was brilliant!

"Oh that does suit Madame!" :D

Anonymous said...

FASC, my neighborhood was a ridiculously bad one. You couldn't walk down the street after sundown without getting hurt. You'd have to count on it.

The same went in school; there were no bullying laws. So if some ugly "indian n*gger" girl get dragged under the bleachers and came back out all bruised up, well, sucks to be her!

But a crazy incredible thing happened to me a few months ago. I was walking alone at night and suddenly I realized that I had absolutely no fear. It was the most wonderful feeling.

I always think that if I ever had enough money, I would start a charity that would send people to self defense classes, and I would call it, "Walk Without Fear." ^_^

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