We are all in some way the same. Any of us can be traced on parchment and placed over another and the outline will match, at some point. Keep turning the page until it fits just right. Call it coincidence, if you will.
I can hold you up against me and often the lines match up perfect.
The following is an excerpt from an old handwritten journal.
Yesterday I saw my reflection and waited for an answer. I stood there like an idiot, swaying and staring. It took a while, but what I found was strength and self-respect. The bags packed themselves and walked right out the door. My hand held tightly to all that really mattered, my own heart. All of my abandon had left the poor thing in a sad state, atrophied. But if I am patient and use it a little more each day it will regain its once youthful bounce. It will be fit for giving...forgiving. Forgiving.
(I needed the white noise as well.)
p.s. it is yours and no one can take it away.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4,926 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 4926 Newer› Newest»*munches her bowl of cereal*
You know, I hate to sound like a bitch, but there are always more people around here with problems, and issues than the usual people you see every day. Whether they are anonymous, or signed in, it doesn't make it any less valid in my eyes.
Just sayin
-A
hi
:]
Goodnight BC, hope you feel better tomorrow. *hugs and kisses*
Anon who lost a friend, believe me, it's always better to feel than to suffocate your emotions. Sometimes we get hurt, but sometimes we gain so much from the experience. I hope you can resolve your issues with your friend.
Amy
Can I have some cereal?
Thanks for the validation, Amy. The person who hurt me supposedly no longer comes here, so I guess I am just a voice crying in the wilderness, but it is still nice to bend a sympathetic ear.
I like cereal!
I picked a great day to stop sniffing glue..
repunzel , repunzel to the tower!
and Larry's getting larger!
Hi Ergo! How was your day?
Flying high?
(or Airport?)
liquor cabinets?
no Airplane?
HI J pretty good, kids were good, few things got sorted out that were admin frustrations
glad it's the weekend though!
but I have a student coming in about 15 mins
HI elena amy BC anon, anon
Oh, the Charlie Sheen ones were "Hot Shots" and "H.S. Part Deux". The Leslie Nielson ones were the "Naked Gun" series. AHA! Eventually the brain starts working.
Yeah, at 1.12 am.
ergo got it with airport. "applause applause".
hope you had a splndid day.
slepndid? who the hell says splendid anymore? i did so it stays
Amy is still in a pissy mood ;p
*sighs heavily*
FINE.
*shuffles out*
*shuffles back in with the trolley with bowls, spoons, milk and cereals*
Go nuts, guys.
Anon, there is nothing wrong with seeking validation, whether it's here or in real life. Sometimes, it helps you to realize that there IS a real problem, and that you're not going crazy.
Speaking of going crazy, I had a nightmare last night that Mister cheated on me. It was so vivid, I was afraid to ask him when I got up, in case it was true.
These BCP's are some wicked things.
-A
airplane. thats it.
have fun titoring ergo
I am serious and don't call me shirley!
thanks anon :)
splendid is fine with me!
the day was good overall thanks
Hiya Ergo!!
Are you working every day this week now?
-A
OMG, I have those dreams too, but mine are sort of bitchy, in that you are cheating on me so I will now run off with this hot guy. Evidently my subconcious needs an out before it gets freaky.
oohh. i've had those dreams amy and you wake up and your mad at him even though it was a dream
you got mad at him didnt you and he didnt know why huh?
thanks for the cereal. with mouth full and munching.. dit yu tel him bout tha dream?
hey, hi! lost my connection. urg.
hi ergo!
What kind of plane is it?
Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.
lmfao elena. i forgot that line!
funny shit
no just wed thur fri
but it's been a busy week as well so it's been over the top, house is a disaster!
Yeah anon. I love that movie....
A hospital? What is it?
It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
1:19 and 1:20, oh yeah!
1:19, I've only ever had one where I got revenge on my ex. The rest of the time, I was dreaming that he was stalking me. Not a healthy relationship.
1:20, I dreamt once that he was having sex with another woman right in front of me. When I started screaming at him for it, he was like "Yeah? So what?".
When I woke up I was so angry I was shaking. I almost hit him, but I thought better of it and I walked laps around the living room instead.
-A
BTW, Wendy says "HI" and "THANK YOU" to everyone who has extended warm words and wishes to her. She misses being here with us, too.
*waves at friends for Wendy*
Wendy, you're in my prayers, as are the family and friends of the accident victims. *hugs and kisses*
What's your position?
Sitting down facing front
Ah Jimmy's a boy dog isn't he?
have you ever seen a grown man naked?
I've seen that movie so many times, still cracks me up
Watch your mouth
Oh, oh, oh
Because your speech is slurred enough
That you just might swallow your tongue
I'm sure you'd want, want to give up the ghost
With just a little more poise than that
Or was it God who chokes
In these situations, running late?
No, no, he called in
Or was it God who chokes
In these situations, running late?
No, no, he called in
The hospice is
A relaxing weekend getaway
Where you're a cut above all the rest
Sick and sad patients
On first name basis with all the top physicians
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
That's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound
To the support on the line
And with the way you've been talking
Every word gets you a step closer to hell
That's when you stu-stu-stutter something profound
To the support on the line
And with the way you've been talking
Every word gets you a step closer to hell
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
I am
Alone in this bed, house, and head
And she never fixes this
But at least she...
I am
Alone, in this bedroom
She never fixes this
But at least she...
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
Prescribed pills
To offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take
It a day at a time
The hospice is
A relaxing weekend getaway
Where you're a cut above all the rest
Sick and sad patients
On first name basis with all the top physicians
I thought you didn't read anymore?
Oh I like that song!
i felt the same way Amy. i was mad at him till noon.
you do feel like you want to smack them. you cant. one day i might if it get that intense again. laps wont cut it for me!
i've had dreams where i am with a faceless guy (of course) and everytime we go to do "it" somebody always interupts and i never achieve the big "O". thats gets me so mad! faceless man come see me tonight and maybe...just maybe i'll get my "O" face on.
*waves at Wendy*
*grabs envelope8
*opens flap and says "smooooooch" into space*
*closes flap*
*attaches to forgiving pigeon*
FLY MY PRETYY!
thats a good movie ergo
what is that song anon?
you know it ergo?
L oh L
Wendy. I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and the families. waves back at wendy.
it's PATD!
can't tell you the name off the top of my head though
And you say you're saved
But i don't remember blasphemy
Being a righteous thing
Tempers flare
Clouds your mind
And the only thing you scream
Tends to be
My true love and saving grace for me
Empty emotions don't waste your breath on these words
Free to speak
And i won't preach
But cut the crap it's not funny
Repress the urge
To use those words
You're killing all His dreams
And the endless stream
Of forgeries
Will never do a thing
Trust in Him and you will rightly see
Those choice of words
Are so absurd
And won't be used by me
For every time that i've been mad
I never went back on what i've said
And choose expressions that don't make sense
Til death i fight it with every beat of my heart
Saying nothing won't change a thing
And dying wishes that you'll someday see
Give disgust another chance to speak
Just watch your mouth
It's the only way
My brothers won't stand for this
The second time and you could catch a fist
Maybe then you will respect His gift
Just watch your mouth
It's the only way.
1:30, HAHA!
My mom was dreaming one night that the cat was stealing the bacon out of the BLT she'd made, so she went to bop the cat on the nose. Instead, she rolled over and smoked my dad in the face.
-A
is it patd? i'll have to check it out. not a fan of them they are ok
nice anon, poem song, message?
1:27 and 1:38 very nice.
Are they lyrics?
-A
Oh amy your poor dad!
this morning I couldn't work out if I'd found a form on the net where I was looking last night or dreamed it
now that is funny Amy. your poor dad,what did he do? was he like wth? what did i do?
The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
You're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You can take the kid out of the fight
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You can take the kid out of the fight
The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
lyrics at 1:38.
patd Nails for breakfast Tacks for snacks
first album
oh ok.
anon at 1:43 with the long lyrics.
thats not a Lm song is it?
it sounds familiar. i'm not sure.
whatever it is i like it
tell me who it is please? if you dont mind
I think it ended up being a flurry of pillows and screaming, and yes I'm sure Dad yelled "What did I do??" a few times. Poor Da.
-A
ah 1;43 is Camisado
PATD! again
though I always hear "you're in a decorating emergency" and think of the Queer Eye guys
ergo dreams are strange like that sometimes.
they are anon, and I did actually dream it!
but then someone I asked yesterday gave me the form today!
i can just picture it amy. so funny. pillows, feathers, yelling.
i am cracking up
thats cause it was on your mind but its a little freaky that they gave you the forms
Eeek!
Ergo's psychic!!
O_O
Ergo's psycho!!!
oh I mean psychic LOL
no,no. dont like patd sound
the words are good but i cant deal with the sound
amy since when do you eek?
elena use your ghost hunting equipment and see if you pick up any evps or anything at all
you gotta have something to use
who ya gonna call ghost busters
hear that? me neither
The remake of "Psycho" starring Ms Ergo Proxy, in theaters this holiday season.
Oh boy, kids, I gotta go to bed. Big day tomorrow, errands and crowds and Friday traffic. :P
Goodnight Elena, Ergo, Amy, Nice Anon Who Lost Your Friend, and TJ, see you tomorrow probably.
Goodnight Mayo, happy Friday to you.
love, faith, hope, trust, belief
My loneliness is killing me
I must confess, I still believe
When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time
Oh baby, baby
The reason I breathe is you
Boy you got me blinded
Oh baby, baby
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
That's not the way I planned it
Show me, how you want it to be
Tell me baby
Hello op j
When something is really BIG, I EEK!!
EEEK!!!
I gotta go to bed too.
Well, actually, I gotta go watch The First 48.
Goodnight Lovelies, Mayo and SS!
*checks under the hallway rug*
-A
goodnight J
Goodnight A
i gotsta go too. good night sweathearts goodnight
have a great freakin friday!
sweet dreams to us all
i want my "O" face! >_<
Oh crap
Did I just miss everyone leaving?
Yep, seems I did...
Goodnight, goodnight....
I still wanna talk!!!
No, you are not alone
You will be free indeed
The journey begins and ends
With me
One million miles
It starts with a step or two
What are you waiting for?
I'm waiting for you.
you still here elena?
whats up?
i want my O face tonight but it can wait a little while
going once, going twice...
elena psst..
i'm still here, elena, but unfortunately, not for long. i was just getting ready to go to bed.
sorry. :(
what are you doing with your book? tell me. you never said what you are going to do with it
i'm a nice anon and you know me anyway
going thrice..
Hi Precious,
Don't really have too much to say tonight, just that I miss you and hope you're well.
I heard a Billy Joel song today that made me think of you. :)
Please take care of yourself; get your rest, I know what happens when you don't.
My trip is coming up sooner than I realized! No, it hasn't changed, just that it'll be time to leave before I know it.
Goodnight, baby. I love you.
My heart to yours, always.
do you want to say your goodnight?
damn it woman!
Hey I'm still here...
Hello nice anon....
My book? Oh yeah that. Well I'm not going to do anything with it
lookie elena, sexy pics of frankie
no shirt, all tats..
thats it back to my pic hunting and then sleep
Hey we posted at the same time
what?! yes you are. you will. it may take some time till your ready but you will
you have to. i understand you wrote it for you. i do the same thing. think about it. send it off to some publishers, get some feedback
sexy pics?
Oh my...I do believe I've got the vapors!
haha, yeah twice. thats weird but cool
i wouldnt have tried to tempt you with frankle piccys. lol
i am checkin out a phot site and came across some great pics of frank and gee and oh my!
sorry, lost train of thought here for both of us.
book. whats up with that
nope nope nope...
I did write it for me. I did it to prove to myself I could do it and I did....(quite proud)
but it's not publishable. Hell it's a freakin' epic. Holy crap I wrote about 1,500 words a day since Nov of 2006. Do the math. That's a lot of words
ok, my teeth are brushed, my bed is turned back, and it is time for me to hit the trail!
good night, elena. :)
good night, anon and lurkers.
something is bothering you e. what is it? if you dont wanna talk anymore thats ok. let me know.
i am an ear and here if you want.
night TJ
I'll e-mail you tomorrow.
so it owuld be like a gone with the wind epic?
goodnight toujours
Oh anon, life is bothering me. Or maybe I should say the life I'm leading.
I just wanna be happy. I want my family to be happy. But I can't seem to make that happen. So since they aren't I'm not.
Did that make sense?
yes it does make sense
i have been there myself.
everyday get harder to put on that happy face for everyone else
inside you dont feel that way
i am telling you, things do change and can and will. we just never know when or what or how or why
keep in mind you arent alone in feeling that way
Oh Lord I'm giggling...
Like "Gone With The Wind" ???
I guess you could say that. Only with sex
A Goodnight by William Carlos Williams
Go to sleep—though of course you will not—
to tideless waves thundering slantwise against
strong embankments, rattle and swish of spray
dashed thirty feet high, caught by the lake wind,
scattered and strewn broadcast in over the steady
car rails! Sleep, sleep! Gulls' cries in a wind-gust
broken by the wind; calculating wings set above
the field of waves breaking.
Go to sleep to the lunge between foam-crests,
refuse churned in the recoil. Food! Food!
Offal! Offal! that holds them in the air, wave-white
for the one purpose, feather upon feather, the wild
chill in their eyes, the hoarseness in their voices—
sleep, sleep . . .
Gentlefooted crowds are treading out your lullaby.
Their arms nudge, they brush shoulders,
hitch this way then that, mass and surge at the crossings—
lullaby, lullaby! The wild-fowl police whistles,
the enraged roar of the traffic, machine shrieks:
it is all to put you to sleep,
to soften your limbs in relaxed postures,
and that your head slip sidewise, and your hair loosen
and fall over your eyes and over your mouth,
brushing your lips wistfully that you may dream,
sleep and dream—
A black fungus springs out about the lonely church doors—
sleep, sleep. The Night, coming down upon
the wet boulevard, would start you awake with his
message, to have in at your window. Pay no
heed to him. He storms at your sill with
cooings, with gesticulations, curses!
You will not let him in. He would keep you from sleeping.
He would have you sit under your desk lamp
brooding, pondering; he would have you
slide out the drawer, take up the ornamented dagger
and handle it. It is late, it is nineteen-nineteen—
go to sleep, his cries are a lullaby;
his jabbering is a sleep-well-my-baby; he is
a crackbrained messenger.
The maid waking you in the morning
when you are up and dressing,
the rustle of your clothes as you raise them—
it is the same tune.
At table the cold, greeninsh, split grapefruit, its juice
on the tongue, the clink of the spoon in
your coffee, the toast odors say it over and over.
The open street-door lets in the breath of
the morning wind from over the lake.
The bus coming to a halt grinds from its sullen brakes—
lullaby, lullaby. The crackle of a newspaper,
the movement of the troubled coat beside you—
sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep . . .
It is the sting of snow, the burning liquor of
the moonlight, the rush of rain in the gutters packed
with dead leaves: go to sleep, go to sleep.
And the night passes—and never passes—
seems to me that you are feeling you are responsible for everyones moods and feelings. you are not
you are however, responsible for your own feelings
open up a little to your daughters. tell them little things. if you feeling down tell them, they may be able to help or at least be more understanding
do you sit and talk to your friends about things? that helps if you can
Yeah putting on the happy face is pretty fucking hard anymore.
But I have to do it. I do it for my girls. I don't want them to have unhappy memories of growing up.
Elena said...
Oh Lord I'm giggling...
Like "Gone With The Wind" ???
I guess you could say that. Only with sex
August 15, 2008 2:41 AM
now you have piqued my interest even more..
mine has sex scenes i cant get past, i cant get them down on paper! and i cant talk about here but they are damned good.
I bet yours are too.
I don't care how I feel. I care about my daughters. I'm in such a terrible position. Part of me thinks that I should just keep pretending nothing is wrong. Trust me I know how to do this. But then part of me wonders if I'm showing them a bad way to be. I don't want them growing up thinking that it's okay to be treated like I'm being treated. They aren't stupid they see what goes on.
Shit I don't know what to do
I don't mean to be dense but am I talking to one anon or two?
A Goodnight by William Carlos Williams
That is beautiful. So beautiful
you said it right there. they know. i didnt want to say that to you but you are aware that they sense these things. i cannot tell you what to do. I dont know you that well. I do know for your own sanity you need to DO something.
you are not helping your girls with the facade of a happy face, they can see through it as you said.
this is easier said than done. you need to start thinking more positive about yourself, period.
Your girls are older not little anymore which is a good thing
you need to build back up your self confidence more.
I will tell you this from the time I have been seeing and talking with you, far longer than you think. you are intelligent, articulate and you are a caring person who loves your kids. that right there is a big deal. being a mom is one of the HARDEST jobs out there.
so you see, you have accomplished more than you think. and that book. sounds awesome.
I am BI. the other is some other anon. i dont know sorry.
in order for you to take care of your daughters properly. you do have to care about your own feelings and self worth or they will and are picking up on that.
did you tell them you wrote and finished a book? they dont have to read it but did you share that with them? think about doing that. maybe at a starbucks or coffee shop somewhere and talk
mayo,
what i wrote to you last night and what i wrote in my email to sisterlor this morning combined and sparked something, and today, as i sat and pondered, i got it.
i caught sight of the signpost.
granted, that's all it is: an arrow on a stick, with the words "this way to your true life" scrawled on it. no mileage, no icons indicating what i'll find there, no map thoughtfully tucked at the base.
but still.
if i'm careful, if i pay attention and keep an eye on that signpost, i know where it will take me.
you see, i have always been a writer. i decided that i was back in first grade. this is what i will be when i grow up.
and i always have been.
when i was 12, i spent the entire summer in my bedroom, writing. i had confiscated my mom's typewriter, and used her stash of yellow legal pads, and typed all summer long.
i wrote the most awful stories, fantasies, mostly. they were the crap that has to be skimmed off the top of the well before you can draw up a clear drink. The best of the lot was a p.g. wodehouse pastiche about a spoiled princess.
but it was writing, all the same. i know the addiction, i know the way a story takes over until you aren't really writing it any longer, you are merely describing what you are seeing your mind's eye. i know the rush when the words fall into place and the sentence is tight and good and the whole paragraph is solid like a piece of polished reality.
so why, if i am a writer and have always been a writer, am i still only at this stage of the game? i ask myself that, all the time. my only answer has been that i am too easily distracted by the details of day-to-day living, but maybe it's more that i don't yet have the confidence to persevere.
but it's still only an excuse.
i need to find my inner fire. i have everything else i need. i don't have to wait until later, until tomorrow, until someday.
there is nothing more i need to do but follow that signpost.
my signpost.
my life.
only i know where it points, and for sure it isn't pointing down any path walked by anyone else.
in this, i must become my own authority.
in this, i must become my own fate.
i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am by this!
so, that's what i made of today. yawp, indeed. *grin*
happy night to you mayo, and happy day, and inbetween the two, dreams that feed your heart.
good night, my friend.
Elena said...
A Goodnight by William Carlos Williams
That is beautiful. So beautiful
I am happy to know that you find beauty in his words, Elena. I do as well. Take care.
G'nite beautiful bloggers.
Hello BI and other anon..IT is nice to talk to both of you.
I know what you're saying is true. I know. I just don't think I am strong enough. I'm good at hiding. It's what I do best.
I understand that they see what goes on. I just don't want to put them into a position where they feel they have to chose.
and they do know about my story. They think it was a waste of time just like their father does
Elena, if you are still there. I hope so, you can talk to me as an anon, i am still the same person
Anyway, life is hard and you will be there for your daughters i have no doubt about that at all.
you need to have respect for yourself and i dont care who they are, they need to have respect for you too. you need to make them respect you. it isnt always easy.
I know.
i wish i had someone to talk to about my crap when it was going on. I had and have my friends but never talked about anything to anyone. That was part of the problem. I closed off from everyone.
Now I have learned to talk more or sometimes in my case yell but at least i get it out.
you are smart, strong and you will make the decisions you need to make when you are ready. when you are you'll know.
I have faith in you. i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
So say your goodnight. I am still interested in that book. One day tell me more.
Try not to worry too much, things have a way of working themselves out when you least expect it.
Goodnight, sweet dreams, sleep well. Hugs Elena because she needs it.
BI, you're a good person. Thanks for being here, for Elena and for the rest of us.
Elena, BI is right. You deserve love and respect from your family, from everyone. You're a wonderful person too.
Thank you.
It isnt a waste of time if it meant something to YOU. You have feelings and they count!
They need to realize that. Its all part of growing up.
They dont have to choose.
Please remember YOU DO COUNT too!
You will know what you need to do and when you need to do it. The way you are trying to describe things seem like you are almost there.
Never give up on yourself.
I dont think you will.
Your are Elena and are too strong for that.i can see it in what you say when you write your goodnights. When you talk to others here.
You DO COUNT!
Hugs Elena again. Goodnight
Elena, may I add this to the excellent advice the another anon was giving you.
No matter what others think about you, or the things that do, you must maintain a belief in your ability and yourself. Trust in yourself. Avoid harsh self criticism and speak kindly to you, as if to a dear old friend.
After all, we have to live with ourselves everyday :)
You seem to be a wonderful, caring mother and person as a whole.
Thank you anons.
Thank you for your words and for your time.
It was nice not being alone tonight.
Sleep well and dream.
Mayo
Head full of words that can’t be released. I wish they could. I would love to just let all of them pour out until there was no more. I’d be empty. Shit, wait a minute. I am empty. Fuck I sound like two people. Perhaps poor old Elena has finally cracked? No, I don’t think so. I am just battling with myself. And when that happens there can really be no winner.
It’s okay. I’ll get through this. I have to. Not for me, for them. They are my reason to go on. It’s sad to think someday, sooner than I like to think, they will be gone. They will go out and start living their own lives. I will be proud. I will be alone.
Night Mayo
Elena (sorry I have nothing to offer you with my words)
A kiss for you until we can share the real ones
*long, passionate kiss*
Can you feel my lips on yours? Close your eyes and dream...
(not from/for Lewis, Redrum, or Mayo)
goodnight elena
I agree with BI and the anon(s) they were really good listeners and advisors (good for you both)
I really hope to get on to chat again soon
goodnight TJ
goodnight everyone else
I'm off to make dinner, sorry I left suddenly, she arrived.
oh and I'm probably more Psycho than Psychic so when we start filming let me know :)
(and elena you so meant psycho!)
morning mayo!
you know what i am gonna say right??
it's bloody friday again!! how quick are these weeks going mayo?!
have a good one mayo!
SS!!
if i offer you chocolate will you come out of hiding??
it's good stuff too! i am really into plain chocolate now! i am turning into my mother! my palate is a changing!!
i would share you know!
take care SS!
hey there family!
just in and out as usual for me! no foreplay, no cuddles afterwards!!
i am sorry i went there??!!
i think this will be the last chance i have to say tara for a few days!!
think of me in my tent battling the elements of our rainy english summer!
will miss you all.
see you tuesday sometime all being well!
oh and i may be wrong but i think i am right...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRANTH!!
if i am wrong just blame PP!!
Good morning/afternoon/night Mayo, SS, FASC, Ergo, Elena, BI; various anons, lurkers and watchers; all in blog world!
How are you all today? Good, I hope! I am doing better. Thanks (again) to all who left words of comfort here, at my place and elsewhere. And thank you to those who continue to keep these families in your thoughts and prayers. It all means so much and it does help.
J: Thank you for delivering my hellos last night!
Everyone last night: Thank you for all the waves! *waves back*
Lewis: Crackers! That's all I got for you, love. The soup did not work well at all. I shall try again today.
Amy: You were right about that "you know what". I should have listened to you. Well, I felt MUCH better for a few hours. ;)
Ergo: Thank you so much for the *smooooch*. I miss them!
Elena: *hugs*
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRANTH!!!!!!
for the birthday girl
chilled to perfection I HOPE
Cheers, Miranth and many happy, healthy returns!!!
Gnothi, Anima, Bella: Thank you ladies, so much!
Something to think about (or not) today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a beautiful day, everyone!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
PS: Has anyone heard from Cupcake?
HI PJ, Kass, Possum, MissT, Siobhnan, Pixie, Mya and AIP!
Ooops, I forgot:
BC/Sweetcheeks: that's great news about the housing! I hope you can come up with the deposit! Good luck, sweetcheeks!!!!!
*blows kisses*
Did someone say birthday?
Miranth,
Happy Birthday to ya!
BBers,
Have a fantastic Friday!
Mayo,
Whoop! Whoop! It's finally Friday! I've made it through a week that seemed like it was 7 years long. And why it seemed that way, I have no idea.
Weird thing...time. Blink and you miss something. Stand around waiting and watching and nothing will happen.
Or you don't realize until later that something did happen and you just let it pass you right on by.
Perplexes the fuck out of me.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Lifetime full of moments just like that.
Do what you need to do for you, Elena. Don't wait until life forces your hand because, trust me, it will. It always does.
-Someone who has been there
Letter To Myself
Pariah
This is a letter to myself
Painted picture, cry for help
It feels like I am now alone
I can't call you on the phone
If I could reach into your heart, I'd tear your world apart
It kind of broke inside of me
You gotta see it to believe--the world is crashin' on me
I've seen emotion to the end
It's always hard when you lose a friend
I don't quite know what words to say
Whispered nothings fade away
Was it written in blood, written in pain
Written in love or written in vain
Is it written in hope, written in shame
Just can't cope--who's to blame--oh, no
RIP- Sims Ellison
hey sdock have a good friday
Wendy! *smoooooooooooooooooooch*
I miss you and thinking of you, and thanks for the card :)
Mayo quick goodnight
take care, be sensible,
stay calm and love always
much love EP xx
SS
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
but Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he?
Lotsa love EP
xx
goodnight blogbelieve see you in my morning
♥xx♥
and Happy Birthday Miranth !
(I'm assuming it's right)
August babies rule!!
hi PP and all the soon to be heres
good morning
♥♥
(my turn)
:)
Goodmorning everyone!
Happy Jappy Birthday Miranth!
May your day treat you well and may many handsome men be sitting at your feet as I write, doing lovely things to your toes, and attending to your every whim.
And cheers, FASC! ;)
I hope I got it right as well, lol
616,
No, I haven't heard from Cuppy.
*is worried*
Bella,
Wow, that sounds an exciting trip. Hope you have a fantastic time. We'd love to hear all about it when you return. =)
Amy,
Thank you, I shall wander over!
Kapunua,
Your bluejay photostory was great! They are such pretty birds.
The Wise Anons with Elena,
Thank you for helping our friend with your warm words and support.
SS,
If you're passing through today here's a little something to enjoy while reading.
What is that?
You say there's a corner missing? Goodness, really?
Now who would do that?!
>_>
<_<
>_>
*surreptitiously sucks at chocolatey morsels caught between teeth*
Morning Mayo!
Morning SS!
Morning errbody!
Happy Bday Miranth!
My head hurts.
Later peeps!
***********************************
RIP - Sims Ellison.
It's been thirteen years now. Thirteen damn years and I just found out. Things should have been so different for that band. And now there's a brother out there lost. :(
Mayo,
I've got to say this song and the performer remind me of you. (Ooh, watch everyone click and be disappointed,lol).
*Modest people, and the underaged, please monetarily close your eyes 42 seconds in*
I did have a whole lot of guff written about the multiple facets of people, went on at you a bit about aspects of yourself kept hidden in your real life and how no one ever sees the real you as you keep it shut up tight, but then I thought, oh well, you've probably heard it all before. >_<
So enjoy the song anyway, maybe =)
Lyrics for the hard of hearing
Through Glass - Stone Sour
(vocalist Corey Taylor, also of Slipknot)
How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me
Cause I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
Have a great day everyone. =)
:-)
good morning!
it's cloudy and cool here this morning (ok, cool for kentucky in august, but still!), just a little bit rainy, and so i am in a gooooood mood! *hee*
and my time is up again...the frustrating thing about sharing a computer is that i try to cram in as many searches as i can, but i'm still left twiddling my thumbs most the day. i mean, i draw and write and stuff, but as good as that is, right now that just feels like busy work.
it's difficult to set things up in another city via the internet.
*sigh*
but i asked my folks to pimp me out as a girl friday at their church this weekend, so maybe i'll be able to make some extra money, which will widen my options and hopefully get me on the road!
yesterday, i was listening to "sam's town" and everytime this river is wild came around, this part of the lyrics stood out to me.
I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do what's right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky
it really felt like that was me in those lines.
well, gotta go! happy birthday to miranth, and happy un-birthday to everyone else!
bye blogbelieve.
bye mayo-sama. :)
Mayo,
you need to liven this place up.
At this point I think it would take some lame parable about animals to liven this place up.
Too bad SS seems to be all out of them. :(
Mayo should just reveal himself and end it.
Mayo,
your lovelies don't love you like they did yesterday
My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way: 'I Think We Needed To Be Away For A While'Singer says band will 'take it slow' with 'stripped-down' Black Parade follow-up.
By Chris Harris, with additional reporting by Brian Jacks
Views 3,999
Last month, MTV News broke the news that New Jersey's own My Chemical Romance would be recording a cover of Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row" for Zack Snyder's forthcoming "Watchmen" film and that the song would be the soundtrack's first single when it hits stores this winter. That's cool and all, but what about the band's next studio effort? When can we expect that gem?
Well, not for a long while. See, My Chemical Romance have spent much of the last few years in promotional mode — touring, doing press interviews, shooting videos, etc. At the moment, they're in what frontman Gerard Way dubbed "go live" mode: They've all put MCR on the backburner as they pursue outside interests.
Of course, Way's been working on his comic book series, "The Umbrella Academy," and is penning a top-secret project for DC Comics. Meanwhile, his brother, Mikey Way, is also working on a comic book, Frank Iero is starting a new band called Leathermouth, Ray Toro is busy getting married and helming his Weezer cover band, and Bob Bryar, well, he's in Chicago for some unspecified reason. The point is, My Chemical Romance need to live like the rest of us for a bit before they return to the studio.
"We can't make any more music unless we live," Way explained. "But I'm already starting to get the ideas and the aesthetics and everything, and it's very different from [2006's] The Black Parade."
How so, Gerry?
"It's hard to say at this point, but musically, how Black Parade tapped into the glam, classic rock of Queen and Ziggy Stardust, this taps into something different — not punk, but maybe in its proto sense. The aesthetic — it is extremely different, and it is more stripped-down too. When we get a chance, we're going to get together and do some demos and start rolling. But we're going to take it slow. I feel like we needed to be away for a while. People need to kind of miss us because there was a point in the last two-and-a-half years where you could have seen us at least once a month if you wanted."
Way elaborated on the album's sound, contradicting recent reports that the band is moving in a more punk direction. "It's weird — sometimes you give interviews, and they catch you in a weird mood on the road, and you're like, 'Nah, I didn't say it was going to be a more punk-rock record, I just thought it would be more stripped of the bells and whistles,' " he explained. "But I think the concepts will always be progressive.
"It will be more direct, more about life, and have more social commentary in there," Way continued. "That's where it's kind of heading now. It won't be a 'boohoo' record about 'Oh, we got famous,' but a commentary on how the world is now."
Hi guys! Couldn't make it in last night. By the time I returned from the concert and the after party, it was quite, quite late, even for me. :)
I didn't catch up. I hope everyone is well. And I have a *hug* for each of you. Though you can have extra if you need them. :)
Thank you for the birthday wishes FASC, Wendy, sdock, ergo, PP, smoke, and TJ!
PP - Thank you for the cupcake... and the cute little kitten :) Awwwww! Makes me smile...
Wendy - Thank you for the cards - and the champagne! I still have a slight hangover, but I'm not too bad... I think I'll do it again tonight, actually ;) Oh and the guy from the eighties rock band wasn't as cute as I remembered, but he was A LOT sweeter. He was kind of bashful, actually. I think he likes me. :)
To respond to a comment I missed last time I was here...
Miranth you talk like you know everything, well you DON'T. and if you are as smart as you make out you know people tell white lies. even if she doesn't post the poetry she replies like it's for her so she knows it is. you always seem to make guesses about mayo, maybe YOU are insulting him.
*giggles* Uh, I think you probably have some of your own business that needs attending?
And two, mayo should know I am being facetious - at least some of the time - like the end of the last post - and I am sure there are other examples that I can't recall presently...
I think I need a nap... *yawning*
Bye Everybody - and have a great weekend!
♥
:)
"We can't make any more music unless we live," Way explained. "But I'm already starting to get the ideas and the aesthetics and everything, and it's very different from [2006's] The Black Parade." maybe it will have a msi sound to it!Ha HA
maybe he will do a remake of msi's "you stupid motherfucker" and dedicate it to his wife.LOL
That's cool and all, but what about the band's next studio effort? When can we expect that gem? Well,not for a lond while.
Thats so he can practice his backbend!
Gerard should write 32 year old panty shot for LynZ.
Oh, I love you more today than yes-ter-day
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yes-ter-day
But, darling, not as much as tomorrow
Gerard should write 32 year old panty shot for LynZ.
It would be their greatest hit! LOL
People need to kind of miss us because there was a point in the last two-and-a-half years where you could have seen us at least once a month if you wanted.
Sorry, Gerry, but I think people are more likely to forget about you.
i bet there is another blog that Mayo has that all the lovelies are at. it's been to dead in here recently.
*Whew!*
Just have been having some real life family drama. I think it's prolly gonna eventually be okay. Well, maybe. I guess. Dunno. But either way it sucked up a lot of my time today and could likely suck up even more time.
I see a positive side to everything, so I can definitely see this as being the best possible scenario for some of the people involved. Also, I can help, and it's important for me to be able to do that.
Well, we'll see. ^_^
Hope you are all well!
i bet there is another blog that Mayo has that all the lovelies are at. it's been to dead in here recently.
Yes, he probably send them sooper sekrit messages they had to decode with their de-coder rings in order for them to find it.
But since the outside world won't be there to see how "special" they all are to him, what will be the point?
So who really thinks they know their shit?
Check out what I have to say about you pitiful people pestering somebody who you're not even sure of the identity.
There's a blog, I encorage you to comment.
This should be interesting.
Bloggers can turn off comments if they don't wish to be pestered. Or they can move to another blog and not give out the url.
This blog was made to attract attention. Yes, most of the comments are annoying as hell (both regs and anons) but obviously the blog owner wants any kind of attention (s)he can get.
wtf you're only 15, stfu.
Oh, and p.s.
I encorage you to use spellcheck. :)
anon 4:51
most of the lovelies have their email addresses on their profile pages, all he as to do is email one of them.
The world will stop at your touch
The life you're leading is one that you never wished to have, believe me, I know.
Those who wish to be left alone should be allowed to sit and eat and breathe and shit in peace.
Those who pester and annoy those who wish to be left alone will always end up filled with dissatisfaction.
Leave the man alone, because that's all he is, a man, with feelings and self respect and a life outside of the madness he is pleasantly suffocated by.
The thousands of irrelevant chatter comments are quite annoying and not the attention Mayonaise wishes to recieve, and it doesn't matter who he is, whether he be Gerard Way or Joe Schmoe, everyone enjoys the silence of the night.
Think I don't know my shit? You're in for a rude awakening.
P.S. Those who understand the way of the words in which we bend will always suffer in the end.
Remember that, it might bite you in the ass one day.
Cookiebelle knows the real deal. She either is Mayo or she speaks for him. Either way she knows more about what Mayo wants than any of the Lovelies.
most of the lovelies have their email addresses on their profile pages, all he as to do is email one of them.
Yes, but I repeat...But since the outside world won't be there to see how "special" they all are to him, what will be the point?
Cookiebelle, tell the Lovelies what Mayo really does want from them.
Cookiebelle. said...
So who really thinks they know their shit?
Check out what I have to say about you pitiful people pestering somebody who you're not even sure of the identity.
There's a blog, I encorage you to comment.
This should be interesting.
August 15, 2008 4:55 PM
Stick around cookiebelle, and soon you will be addicted, too.
SHE'S 15, SHE'S NOBODY.
Her Myspace before she took it down 2 sec ago: http://www.myspace.com/lolitarayne
Her ino: http://www.imnotokay.net/member/profile/20634/
Cookiebelle is a jerkoff!
LOL! All right, Oh Enlightened One, but if Mayo doesn't want us here,do you care to give me a reason as to why we should give any credence at all to your delightful manifesto? Seriously. Just one reason why anyone should care about your opinion of what Mayo wants, or doesn't want, from us.
Age doesn't really matter. Intent does, though, and I'm really curious. Got an answer for me? ^_^
Later!
cuz she will stamp her feet and hold her breath until her face is as blue as her hair, obviously.
Cookiebelle,
lyke Gee iz lyke soooooo hot!
well she's a singer and she probably knows him ,like some claims to do...whatever!LOL!
I am in no way affiliated with Mayo.
Yes I'm 15, does that make me any less of a literate human being with opinions and knowledge of what people want in life and how they wish to lead it?
And yes, I am a fan of My Chemical Romance, once again, any less of a human being? I think not.
P.S. It's a typo, a human error.
I'm sure you've let one slide once or twice.
Cookiebelle is LynZ's evil twin
Cookiebelle is LynZ's evil twin
Obviously.
Then how can you claim to know that is not the type of attention he wants to receive?
well i like mcr to,but but that doesn't mean i have to be happy with the way the frontman has been acting like an ass.
"Think I don't know my shit? You're in for a rude awakening."
"no way affiliated" lol!!
You guys are incredibly hilarious.
I'm finished here.
..wow
?_?
Okay, well.
Good evening, everyone. I hope you guys are doing okay. :)
Let me exlain something to you cookie,we have some that like mcr and some that are tired of the singers bull shit. Everyone here can have their own opinions.we are mature women and we don't need to be told what to do.But thank you for your opinion.
Cookiebelle. said...
I am in no way affiliated with Mayo.
Yes I'm 15, does that make me any less of a literate human being with opinions and knowledge of what people want in life and how they wish to lead it?
And yes, I am a fan of My Chemical Romance, once again, any less of a human being? I think not.
P.S. It's a typo, a human error.
I'm sure you've let one slide once or twice.
August 15, 2008 5:16 PM
Non of those things make you less human. They just make it hard for us to believe any shit you have to say.
Now, if you really know something prove it. If not stop wasting our time with your silly games.
Why don't you go back to INO so you can go worship him over there!
cookie is 'not okay'
Anonymous said...
cookie is 'not okay'
August 15, 2008 5:31 PM
Lol
Why don't you go back to INO so you can go worship him over there!
Why don't you pull your head out of your ass?
You're doing the exact same thing that I'm doing, only more publicly and with less shame.
Cookiebelle,
why do you guys at INO feel that Gerard can do no wrong?
Non of those things make you less human. They just make it hard for us to believe any shit you have to say.
Now, if you really know something prove it. If not stop wasting our time with your silly games.
So because I'm younger than you, my opinion is not valid and shouldn't be taken into consideration like others in this blog?
We don't feel he can do no wrong, he's human, let's remember.
I really don't even want to concern myself with those questions, they're ridiculous.
It's got nothing to do with your age hon,its because you came in here and you were kinda rude,and some of us have been blogging hear for almost a year and we don't need to be told what to do.
and one more thing......your 'not okay'! sorry i couldn't resist!!
I never told you what to do in the first place.
I asked you to see and consider my opinion, and I respect yours entirely.
If I came off as rude to anybody I apologize, for that was not my intention at all.
So because I'm younger than you, my opinion is not valid and shouldn't be taken into consideration like others in this blog?
August 15, 2008 5:38
Your age has nothing to do with it.
First you act like you know Mayo but once your identity is reveled you change your story.
You are a troll coming in here to start shit.
all i know is if Mayo, or whomever they may be that runs this blog can always turn off anons at any time
no one should pester anyone or make derogatory remarks about Gerard. i am not trying to defend him alone. it's wrong to do it to anyone here
expressing one's opinion is different than blatant out right
nasty comments about a persons anatomy or their spouse. yes, that has been mentioned in the past.
you can say i dont like so and so because they did this or that. when people start making remarks that are personal in nature and are meant to be mean and attack a a person's physical features etc. is wrong and it is NOT getting your point across at all
yes, people can leave here they dont have to put up with any of it
my point is if mayo is disturbed by what is written by some anons and regulars he can moderate it any way he deems necessary
its a question of how much mayo will endure before this place is either squelched out or changes will be made
we shall see
gerard as mayo have feelings as do many other people here and i think that needs to be mentioned and remembered
you all have a great day now ya hear?!
Check out what I have to say about you pitiful people pestering somebody who you're not even sure of the identity.
pretty rude if you ask me darling
First you act like you know Mayo but once your identity is revealed you change your story.
I never said I knew him.
I said I knew my shit, which means anything.
I know how people react when their opinions are mangled by someone who doesn't even know them, and I was stating that everybody needs to be left alone at some point.
If I came off as rude to anybody I apologize, for that was not my intention at all. calling us pitiful was you being nice?
pretty rude if you ask me darling
August 15, 2008 5:50 PM
agreed
Cookiebelle,
you don't know Gerard well enough to say how he would react in certain situations.
I was stating that everybody needs to be left alone at some point. Ok,i need to be left alone now.....so goodbye cookie!
It's funny to see how riled people can get up while they're seated saftly behind their computer screens.
Get over it. Get a life.
Great job being adults, posting MySpace links like it's going out of style.
-thumbs up-
I'll leave you all to your opinions.
All I sense in this place is trouble.
P.S. some of you attacked me because you know what I said has some truth to it, think about it.
cookiebelle coming here and right away throwing accusations and other remarks around is not a very good way to communicate how you feel about things here
as you can see was it was not appreciated as you can see
P.S. some of you attacked me because you know what I said has some truth to it, think about it.
yes we know you know everything since you are a member of INO!FER realz
anon 5:57
you're doing the same thing. so you get a life jackass.
people should not be posting personal things about anyone ie; myspace etc..
that is wrong as well
Cookiebelle, hi, nice to meet you.
I just wanted to say your opinions can be be expressed and are as valid as anyone else's. I do respect that.
However you will find radically different views here, which you too need to respect.
Now, please do not take what I am about to say with any ill will or bad intent. I do know that life experience give you a different perspective on life. I know chronological age does not necessarily mean maturity, but these experiences good or bad make you less idealistic.
And I also have learnt that people can surprise you with their reaction to things. Sometimes you cannot predicate their behavior on what you think you "know" about them.
Try to keep an open mind.
i can't believe there is a 40 year old person at INO. hahahaha
You are all really funny.
Poor Cookiebelle. was just trying to say what she thinks, which all of you clearly never hesitate to do.
Yes, some of the things she said were rude, but you all need to get over it. Being self-righteous with a keyboard isn't helping anything.
And her pirvacy is her privacy, you shouldn't be posting her myspace as if it is your own.
Anonymous said...
It's funny to see how riled people can get up while they're seated safely behind their computer screens.
Get over it. Get a life.
Great job being adults, posting MySpace links like it's going out of style.
-thumbs up-
August 15, 2008 5:57 PM
You don't know how old the person was who posted that. I've lurked here for a long time and I remember when there was another INOer who was pretending to bess.
The only thing that stopped her was her Into profile being posted.
Cookielee. said...
I'll leave you all to your opinions.
All I sense in this place is trouble.
P.S. some of you attacked me because you know what I said has some truth to it, think about it.
August 15, 2008 5:57 PM
No you were attacked because you called people pitiful. You said you knew what Mayo really meant. You are the one who started the trouble .
I'm sorry, but you were all going on about being adults and such, I just assumed.
Your just bitching for the sake of bitching now.
Man, I don't envy anyone who has to put up with you on a day-in day-out basis.
not everybody that goes on any fansite, especially INO fits the profile of what people think they are. There are plenty of people that would agree with a lot of what you people say there, and there are plenty of people that would disagree, and then there are people that just don't care at all. Just because somebody is a member of one site or another doesn't mean their opinion is any less valid then the next. I find it slightly immature that your opinion of somebody is based simply on that.
I hope everything is okay here at Mayo's. && Mayo I hope you are doing well. [=
Post a Comment