There are so many things missing, last night
Last week, and now quieted by irreverence
Two feet deep and thick with sickness
We are lost and no longer linger. Still
I can reason your denial in difference
Came upon you for thought, and mine
I must say thrust upon me in shame.
I shut my book to save your eyes.
Who is lost in plain sight can speak
As you have always claimed, in truth.
p.s. with an uncompromised view for any other is...well, it is compromised.
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I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Art by: Toujours
No Contest
even if no one gets me, if i'm the only one laughing at my jokes, i won't hide myself away from life. it's uncertain and it's dirty and it's fucking exciting, and i want to be a part of all of it.
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
heart full
Today on my way home from class, I stopped off at the petrol station for some petrol. I paid on my card which wasn’t a lot, and then as I was getting into my car, I saw an old man walking past the building. He had a red and green stripy jumper which was frayed at the ends. He was also wearing some jeans that were dirty and had holes all over.
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
It helped.
Jennicula,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Blog header image by: Anima
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
something
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. If you've had a shitty day and you feel like people just don't want you to be happy, and when you find yourself struggling to make it through the day, just keep on believing and keep the faith. Also, from personal experience, don't push people away. When they say they want to help and that they are there for you, let them in. Believe me, I know how fucking scary that thought is, but don't shut others out.
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
Retro-spectacled
Sometimes, when you look back on stuff in your life, you know, the crap that makes you shake your head and say, "Holy shit, what the Hell was I thinking?" it's part of what makes you - you.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
aloft
Blazing against the sun
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
Electric Blue
…today I saw a ulysses butterfly it was in our yard and settled to feed on our hibiscus. They really are fantastically beautiful things, the electric blue is amazing, however as they sit with their wings closed they are rather nondescript and dull. Sometimes people are like that, from the outside they seem unappealing but within there hides an amazing beauty for those lucky enough to see it. I hope you appreciate beauty in all things, and look for it perhaps where others miss it.
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I read your post again and suddenly without warning memories of construction paper filled my head. I remembered all the lop-sided flowers my girls made when they were young. Bright blue, yellow and pink flowers that were cut out with blunt end scissors would fill the windows to decorate for Easter. An occasional bunny was attempted but those usually ended up looking like creatures from a horror movie. Flowers were so much easier. I can close my eyes and hear the paper being cut into petals. I can smell the Elmer’s glue squirted on in huge blobs to attach each misshapen petal to form the flowers. We had a huge arts and crafts box full of wonderful items just waiting for their imaginations to turn into something wonderful. In my mind I see my daughters, as they once were, small, blond little girls sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of paper and other art supplies. They would create their masterpieces then proudly show each other. Oh and Lord the messes that would ensue if the glitter made an appearance. Now, the box is forgotten. I’m not really sure where it even is anymore. The few flowers so lovingly created that survived are faded and dusty and high on a shelf they sit. Time marches on, so many things get left behind.
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
From the corner.
I wonder if you noticed
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
Thank You. Truly.
"This little world has grown around us, out of nothing, and it is a remarkable thing. Even the dark and dirty parts, the violent parts. Humanity will not thrive without passion."
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Uncondensed
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Character Advocacy.
"Don't ever pretend to be something you're not. You are who you are, and no one can change that. The people who don't like the real you are just gonna have to suck it. Don't take shit from anyone. Don't crumble. Throw a few birds, and walk on.
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Art by: Toujours
“I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.”
Jean-Dominique Bauby
Jean-Dominique Bauby
5,811 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 5001 – 5200 of 5811 Newer› Newest»Hello Mel.
Yeah, don't ask.
Just, pretend it didn't happen.
However, we DID hit 5000 comments.
Scary.
-A
Who is AG anyway?
-A
Hi, J! Yeah, me, too, I haven't said hi to ya.
Kapu's "friends" are all fake.
Hello veggie anon, nice to meet you. Thanks Amy. Should be getting a letter from them this week or early next week already. I have my fingers crossed.
Anonymous said...
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you insist!
Cheese whiz battles are fun!
Ohhh......I love veggie gardens. Unfortunately, my garden did not make it this year.
I am most disappointed!
BC: you're leaving already?
Someone please explain what is going on?
Hello to all anons!
J: Has little Sparkle calmed down now?
Amy: Pass the sake this way, please.
*wonders where Ergo is with the scothch*
Entropy: Whatcha doing over there?
Amyranth said...
Hello Mel.
Yeah, don't ask.
Just, pretend it didn't happen.
However, we DID hit 5000 comments.
Scary.
-A
May 28, 2008 2:17 AM
Thought that would have been cool earlier..but not sure now.Yeah, scary.
Don't let people put you down.Don't put up with crap. You also do not have to sink to low levels either.
I'm here until I have to go to sleep sugarplum. We'll see what tomorrow might bring
BC, I'm really glad to hear that things are (close to) working out for you! It's about time good things came your way. :)
L had a really good birthday. We tried a new Italian place here called Amerigo. They have really, really good food. It may be a chain, don't know. And then we went shopping, and she picked out a new set of sheets and some pillows for her bed. She kept saying, "How sad is this that I'm excited about new sheets?" And I talked to Mayo the other night about a Dyson for her, but still no delivery on that. (hahaha)
MAYO, THE DELIVERY PEOPLE LET YOU DOWN! There WAS a UPS box this morning, but it was bunny treats instead, that L ordered last week. So...is it coming FedEx instead? Or should you be calling someone?
J
Anonymous said...
Someone please explain what is going on?
Holy shit, don't ask....for the love of all that's holy don't ask.
2:20
Basically, all hell broke loose - AGAIN!
Amy and Carrie seemed to get the worst of it tonight.....
:(
*pours a cup and passes it to Wendy*
Anyone else want some sake?
-A
Aw, that's sucky about your veggie gardens, Wendy.
My garden has been all crazy with the no sun and rained all constantly.
Elena said...
Anonymous said...
Someone please explain what is going on?
Holy shit, don't ask....for the love of all that's holy don't ask.
Yes, please, thank you!
How are you Elena? Watch the mess on the floor.
-A
Anon616 said...
Anonymous said...
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you insist!
Cheese whiz battles are fun!
Hello 616
Eww..cheese whiz is nasty. Gives you rot gut.
Elena!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are you, love?
WOW! We really are over 5000 comments. I had not noticed.
*blushes*
My veggies didn't take too well either Entropy.
I had tomatoes, Cukes, Peas and Beans and Pumpkins.
Well, apparently, beans need to be innoculated, cucumbers are as sensitive as all hell, I SHOULD have planted the tomatoes one by one instead of five in a pod, and the peas got eaten by the cat one day.
So far, the pumpkins are going strong, but I've got about 20 plants!
-A
Hello 616
Eww..cheese whiz is nasty. Gives you rot gut.
You find?
Are you lactose intolerant?
I like Cheez Whiz, so long as I don't really think about what's in it.
Like Cheez with a Z.
-A
Don't worry Amy. I've been watching the shit fly so I know where not to step. How are you?
Hey Wendy.
I am here, I am fine. (yeah, a Mayo answer)
*takes cup Amy so kindly filled for me*
Thank you, Amy!!!!
*big smile*
2:26 We don't have to EAT the cheese whiz. We can just PLAY with it! ;)
Entropy: I miss my homegrown creole tomatoes and cucumbers....and bell peppers and green beans and eggplant!
I must now depend on the kindness of my neighbors for homegrown veggie goodness *sighs*
Thanks J. I'm glad L's birthday went well. That restaurant sounds delicious. I love Italian food *mouth waters*
Hi Elena, good to see you again.
There's a supposed,in the making plans to visit L.A. sometime next month, and I have full intentions on actually keeping busy this summer. Maybe I should make good and see if I can go so I can stroll my fat ass down the Sunset Strip.
Although I have been losing a lot of weight so I don't think I can consider myself a fat ass anymore. I'm losing fat in my facial cheeks as a matter of fact. That's not good :/
Eh.
Learning, I suppose.
Want some sake?
-A
Elena Lovely! Where have you been, woman? We have been so worried about you, and we left you a message, and you didn't call back, and...
ARE YOU ALRIGHT?????
Amy, I think you need the sake all to yourself tonight. Well, you and Carrie.
Wendy, Sparkle fussed herself to sleep. She'll be ok tomorrow after breakfast.
J
Although I have been losing a lot of weight so I don't think I can consider myself a fat ass anymore. I'm losing fat in my facial cheeks as a matter of fact. That's not good :/
As long as it's healthy weight loss, but whatever makes you happy, right?
I mean, I don't think I'm fat, but if I lost weight, the first thing to go would be my boobs.
And I don't HAVE much boob.
-A
That's too bad, Amy. But, hey, pumpkins!
The only veggies I got are tomatoes and jalepenos. They've been alright.
Sake? Oh yes please.
J - I am fine just not able to talk about things right now. Sorry but I didn't check my messages.
Amy, it actually is. I'm feeling better than I ever did. All I'm doing is walking more, cutting down on bread, chips, etc, and doing a lot more boxing.
This summer I have plans to sign up for karate, so it's all good. If you want, I can donate some of my boob fat. I hate my boobs ;p
Hello BC
Good to see you!
BC, ain't it always the way?
Why can't the boob fairy be fair to everyone? Oh, right, men are greedy.
Entropy, my boyfriend would love you right now. We've got Jalapenos, and Habaneros, but it'll be about a year before they're even ready to have fruit.
*passes a glass of sake to Elena*
Anyone need a refill?
-A
BC: Italian food is my favorite!
Another reason I miss my veggie garden *sighs again*
J: I'm glad Sparkle has calmed down. I promise not to blast the metal tonight. I know she's had a rough night and needs her sleep!
Amy: What was that comment about seeing alot of brown eyes this week? Ohhh....I hope they're happy brown eyes!
Elena: I don't think I like your "Mayo" answers.
*big hug*
Amy,
my cucumbers grow crazy insane. I have to give them away to friends, neighbors and family. My tomatoe plants produce very little. Wonder why that is.
Sorry, you didnt have a great garden this year. Thats always a disappointment.
Aw, c'mon Wendy, you're a clever girl!
-A
Mel, we're still working at it. Here, we have a very short gardening season, but we kinda got ambushed by grass and weeds. I'm hoping to put a rose garden in.
Tomatoes... I know a few tricks, are you starting from seed?
-A
Jalapenos! I forgot about my Jalapenos! I miss them too!
I think we should form a Mayo commune/compound. We have the gardening skills and Ergo and Miranth have chickens!
Ok, Elena. Whenever you're ready, you know where we are. But don't think we'll forget, cause, well, you know...
Wait a minute, what was I saying?
Forgot. ;)
Amy, we just sent you an email that might make you smile, just a little...:)
J
Anon616
2:26 We don't have to EAT the cheese whiz. We can just PLAY with it! ;)
That is just as bad. Try playing with chocolate...much better. ^_^
I should head to bed. It was nice talking to you guys tonight.
Have a nice night, Amy, J, Wendy, BC, Elena, anons, Mayo.
Thanks Elena. I miss you too. I hope you're well. Wendy, no!! Blast the metal!! :)
I'll be happy with my rack only if if any future potential guy has a rack of his own. That way, if he stares at mine, I can stare at his knowing that he and I can share a few of my bras and get them fitted together.
That, for me, would be cosmic justice on my part.
Goodnight Entropy! Have a good sleep.
J
Goodnight and sweet dreams Entropy.
Is Mayo waiting for someone to make a stand?
*eyes her email warily*
It's full of porn, isn't it?
-A
^^ Hahaha
Goodnight Entropy!
Powers of Invisibility, ACTIVATE!
-A is invisible, can you see her?
Amyranth said...
*eyes her email warily*
It's full of porn, isn't it?
-A
May 28, 2008 2:47 AM
Only if you want it to be.
J
Amy
Tomatoes... I know a few tricks, are you starting from seed?
Seeds never work for us. I bought three small plants. Ok, tell me your secrets. Please? Thanks
ha...someone is toying with you...and I bet I know
Goodnight Entropy
Goodnight Entropy!
*big night night hug*
Sweet dreams to you!!!
2:26/2:44
I love playing with chocolate (dipping sauce). You'll bring the strawberries, right? ;)
Where did Amy go? She was here just a minute ago!
<_<
>_>
Who is lost in plain sight can speak
As you have always claimed, in truth.
-------------------------------------
Honestly, for me, I come and go as I choose. Who knows? I can disappear again tomorrow and not come back for weeks, and I don't have to explain my reasons. I don't do that anymore. Unfortunately, I have a life that I need to finally start living, and I'm more than okay with that.
BC: I posted some NIGHTWISH last night! I think Ergo is now a fan!
We must convert more people!
*wicked laugh*
BC was one of the people that I was talking about earlier. One of the people that I missed.
Mel Anon here.
Well, we have been told to use something called No-Dam or Damp-off when starting from seed. We use the little greenhouse dirt discs, they fluff up like pods when you add water.
Um, one or two seeds per pod, otherwise they crowd each other out.
And heat is really good for the plants. Have you added fertilizer? They really take off, but only add it when you see some flowers on the tomatoes, otherwise you boost too much at the wrong time.
And yeah, lots of heat. Make sure they get tons of sun.
They make good potted plants too, so long as you use a rich soil.
I think that's it.
-A
HOORAY! I GOT AN EMAIL FULL OF PORN!
-A
Wendy, I think Amy went to watch her video. We sent her the same one you and Elena got.
BC, don't say "unfortunately" you have a life to live! No no no! That's a GOOD thing!
J
Anonymous said...
ha...someone is toying with you...and I bet I know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who's toying with whom, anon?
I'm toying with chocolate dipping sauce, cheese whiz and SAKE!
I think I'll need some Pepto Bismol in a bit.....
:/
Wendy, I'll have to download that song later, youtube crashed my computer earlier.
I really need to get this old box fixed.
-A
Sugarplum, wait a minute! Didn't Amy and I converted you into a Nightwish fan in the beginning? You need to give us some credit where it's due :p
And then we can spread the Nightwish disease around, ha ha. So Ergo is the latest victim? *mimics Mr. Burns' voice*
Excellent!
Mel anon, aww thanks. I think I miss some of my friendly anons too.
anon616 said:
2:26/2:44
I love playing with chocolate (dipping sauce). You'll bring the strawberries, right? ;)
Yep. Big red,sweet juicy ones I will.
I wish I could grow strawberries.That we would enjoy. *makes mental note to check that out tomorrow*
It is tomorrow.
Mel Anon
Amyranth said...
HOORAY! I GOT AN EMAIL FULL OF PORN!
-A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What? I didn't get PORN!
*pouts*
Not fair, J and L! ;)
Hi Mel anon! Are you cheese whiz anon too? I'm getting confused again.
Ha, things are back to normal in blogbelieve (for tonight).
Amy, so it IS porn? Lucky you! Thanks J. Did I tell you already that I miss you guys? Because, like, I did.
My potential future roommate also wants to buy a puppy for the place. Yay, I love dogs.
*BC wonders if being overexcited is a good thing*
Amyranth said...
Well, we have been told to use something called No-Dam or Damp-off when starting from seed. We use the little greenhouse dirt discs, they fluff up like pods when you add water
We use miracle grow on everything.So, the pods hold and retain water so they don't get dried out? Is that the purpose of the discs?
Thanks for the tips.I will definately check that out. Thanks.
Mel Anon
Ha, things are back to normal in blogbelieve (for tonight).
-------------------------------------
That's only because I'm here. My ass makes everything sane and normal as soon as I arrive, lol.
*hasn't gotten the email yet, actually*
BC, I'm dying for a dog. What kind of dog is she thinking of?
-A
Mel anon: I can get some extra plump, sweet and juicey strawberries from Ponchatoula, LA!
They are THE BEST!!!!
BC: I'll give you, Amy and Pixie credit for converting me to a fan of the new Nightwish singer ;)
I was a little unsure of her at first; but, she has grown on me!
Mel, the pods do, you actually don't have to water them until they turn brown again. The little greenhouse setup works really well too.
-A
Guys, don't wig out! Amy's just teasing. There IS NO PORN.
Unless you count Sparkle being naked except for pink Mardi Gras beads...
Or I sent the wrong link...
*runs off to check*
J
I miss having a dog. I used to have a pug, but we gave it to someone else. Bad mistake I guess.
Amy, I'm not sure, maybe a chihuahua or something. I think she likes small dogs.
Sugarplum, yeah, it does take some time to get used to her. Her voice sounds more poppy whereas Tarja's voice was more operatic and strong.
I saw your post about Ozzfest. Are you thinking of going?
Anon616 said...
Anonymous said...
ha...someone is toying with you...and I bet I know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who's toying with whom, anon?
I'm toying with chocolate dipping sauce, cheese whiz and SAKE!
I think I'll need some Pepto Bismol in a bit.....
:/
May 28, 2008 2:59 AM
Hands 616 some disgusting pink stuff to swallow. >_<
Wait a minute. Just figured out it got sent to Carrie instead.
ENJOY THE VIDEO CARRIE!
*going to fix this, coming back soon*
J
Miracle Grow works great, but if you find you're not getting a lot of tomatoes, and everything else is going well (sun and lots of water)
try switching to a fertilizer made specifically for vegetable plants.
-A
Well everyone, I must be off.
I know it will be difficult, but try not to miss me too much! ;)
Goodnight Mayo, SS, Amy, J, BC, Elena, Mel, any other anons and lurkers.....
Sweet dreams to one and all!
I'll probably see you all tomorrow.
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
*extra huge hugs for Amy and Carrie*
*runs back in to take digusting pink stuff*
*makes funny face*
YUK!
Thanks 3:12!!!!
Goodnight again, all! Have fun and keep those brooms handy!
Goodnight and sweet dreams sugarplum. Mwah!
I'm gonna be off as well. One more lost post to write, then I'm gonna read for a bit.
*comes back from Punk Central Media Center*
Shoo! Amy, it's (finally) on its way to YOU.
This proves it's time for me to lay down, so I'll write my goodnights and wander off to bed.
Elena, if you don't feel like calling tomorrow, would you maybe feel like emailing?
Goodnight Elena, Amy, Wendy, BC, Ergo when you get back, and Mel Anon, hope you all get some sleep!
Take care, talk to you all later.
love
J
Anon616
Hi Mel anon! Are you cheese whiz anon too? I'm getting confused again.
Ha, things are back to normal in blogbelieve (for tonight).
Ahaha,sorry but I know what you mean, yes thats me.I think.I'll explain.
Lets see. I have been called Rented fingerz anon,(afternoon name) Veg Anon, and Mel Anon(for Mel Brooks movie I quoted),now I'm Cheese whiz anon!
I have had 4 names in one day.Thats too freakin funny.
The "cheese whiz" one is really gross, but hysterical.
*ok, regains composure*
Yeah, I think I've done enough tonight.
I'm going to bed.
Carrie, Entropy, J, Wendy, BC, Mel, Elena, goodnight and thanks where thanks are due.
Goodnight House.
-A
Goodnight OP
So Mayo,
Like I wrote earlier, we're still waiting on that Dyson delivery. What day should we expect it? One of us will try to stay home that day. (heeheehee)
Enjoy your day tomorrow! Take care!
love to you
J
Goodnight 616
cheese whiz, veg, Mel anon
take your pick.
Thanks Amy.
O: yadot nuf dah lla uoy
Dear SS,
Like you said earlier, reading the palindromes is the easy part. Writing them, not so much. And my brain just doesn't wanna tackle that at 3.30am.
One of these days you're gonna have to hang with the Night Crew. We (usually) have a good time, when we're not beating Vultures with a broom.
Anyhoo, time to go. Have a great day tomorrow! I love you, Precious. Goodnight.
My heart to yours, always.
J
Goodnight J, Amy, sweet dreams
Goodnight Amy. Rest well.
and to the rest of you goodnight and have a great Weds.
Mel Anon
Anonymous said...
O: yadot nuf dah lla uoy
May 28, 2008 3:30 AM
that was the fun part of the day.
!thgindoog
Anonymous said...
O: yadot nuf dah lla uoy
Not exactly
-A
5100
...and 5101.
Okay, goodnight. I really mean it this time.
-A
yrros.denrt wen a detrats evah tsum i
ssessik deen uoy fo lla
Goodnight Mel anon. Sweet dreams. Aww here's a kiss for you anon 3:41: Mwah!
Goodnight to those who are lurking. We'll see what tomorrow might bring. I may be here, or maybe not.
Mayo
All day long I’ve wrestled with this question. Should I say what is wrong or just keep this to myself? I should keep this to myself but can I? Oh, fuck no. I need to talk about this. I need to put into words this feeling that is scaring the shit out of me. So then, here we are…
Yesterday my mother was in a store and she fell. Not a bad fall, nothing broken, but a fall that scared her. My mother is scared because she fears this happened because she’s getting older. She is afraid things like this signal the start of the end. That one day soon she won’t be able to care for herself. I know this fear has been on her mind for quite some time now. She fears not for herself but for me, her only child. She fears because all the decisions about her care will fall upon me. I fear this too. Not because I don’t want to take care of my mother but because I don’t want to have to take care of her. I don’t want my mama to get old; I don’t want to have to make decisions for her. I want her to be the same strong woman I’ve loved my whole life. I know this isn’t realistic. Still I can’t make myself think any other way.
She has always been there for me. She has always loved me unconditionally. She has always been strong. Now I see she is becoming frail, I see her scared; I see her looking at me to be strong. I am fucking terrified. I hear the small comments she makes about all the things I’ll have to deal with when she’s gone. The huge house that is lovingly stuffed full of mementos, the funeral arrangement that will force me to deal with an estranged family, the list of shit seems endless. But to me none of this matters. The only thing that does matter is imagining a life without my mom. Holy shit, I’m 46 and still see her almost every day. We start off with coffee together each morning. I can’t imagine not starting off my day that way. I just can’t.
And why does she keep mentioning these things? Does she know something, feel something coming? I can’t make myself ask her because I fear the fucking answer. I hate my weakness, I hate that I am letting her down.
It’s sad to realize but when you’re young you don’t think about losing your parents. They spend so much time worrying that they’ll lose you I think you just forget the fact that they will be lost to you one day. When that happens I will be an orphan. Stupid at my age to think that way but I do. I’ve already lost my Dad and when Mom goes…..I truly can’t imagine this. I want to pretend it won’t happen. I just want to pretend it won’t happen.
But I know it will. I pray not for years yet. I need my Mom. But I realize now she needs me to be the strong one. I’m so afraid; I don’t want to fail her.
Night Mayo
Elena
My last post:
I’m not super positively sure who to address this message to. It doesn’t matter I suppose. It’s been over three or four weeks since I last been here. I have my reasons, and I am going to be perfectly honest here. Some of them were due to constant drama being stirred, and for the other reason: The blog is becoming boring to me. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
Don’t get me wrong. I love talking to the people here, but I’m at a point where I don’t get sucked in into something that goes on the internet. Not where I got real life to live for now. I do like coming here because I get to express myself, but sometimes I hate it too. Sometimes I don’t like it that I don’t always see honesty here. Sometimes I see fakeness as well. And for those regulars that need to speak behind anonymous, that annoys me most of all. People shouldn’t be afraid to speak up or to have an opinion. That’s what this blog was created for. For everyone to be able to share their voices, their personalities, their outlook on life in general, and to help and support one another. We need to voice our opinions, in order to find that possibility of finding solid ground, unity, without having to resort to name calling, or trash talking, I see this place as a Yin and a Yang; one cannot coexist without the other. Light to darkness, darkness to light. That’s how I see the world as well.
As soon as I turn off the computer, I forget about the drama. It’s nothing but stupid whiny bullshit anyways. I don’t pay attention to it anymore, nor do I have the mindset to allow it to bother me. Words are just what it is.
I come and I go, if I feel like it, and I like it that way because I get time for myself, and time to shift my priorities onto other things. I don’t have to explain myself anymore.
I could be here tomorrow, or I could not. It depends on how I’m feeling. With this place, as I said, I’m not feeling the spark anymore. It’s just a blog to me now. I’m okay with leaving and moving on to live. And hopefully, everything will work out in my favor.
I won’t say much about tonight’s drama, but I will say this: Anyone who doesn’t have the strength or the ability to forgive one’s mistakes, or to accept their apologies, speaks a lot about their character in the real world. As they say, it takes a lot more balls to forgive and let go of whatever issues you may have against someone than to hold your anger against them. You need to learn how to let it go and move the hell on, otherwise that anger will consume you.
I think I’m done here. Now I said my piece, and it’s time for me to say goodnight to those who are lurking. Sleep well.
.oot uoy evol i
.lliw syawla i
AG go to sleep, or email them
Am not AG, go to sleep yourself.
whatever...just contact them for godsake! Tell them personally.
who's AG?
morning mayo!
we have a record with the number of comments here!!
lovely of you to put up weaver girls words.
have a good night/day mayo.
SS you are so funny. i was reading the backwards writing and i still feel sick!!
take care you and have a good night/day!
hi guys!
elena lovely words, brought a tear to my eye like alot of your words do. you will not ever fail her elena. the fact that you worry that you will means that you won't.
*hugs*
BC lovely to see you around. take care and i am glad you are feeling good and positive with your life.
GS i don't get a little man with dark hair by SS's page?? i looked for him, he wasn't there!
i've not really caught up, just skimmed. i know shit went down. i hope everyone is OK.
have good days family.
love to you all!
4:21, it's not any of your concern.
listen, it's in your best interest to stop playing pretend "love" here.
Why can't you tell them you love them to their face? Not on a blog. They seem to be responding to you.
I still will voice my opinions 4:27, regardless of what you think.
This does not have to be public.
4:28, not sure why you're so worried about my personal life.
Not your business.
Think you're trying to trip up with questions and fake care.
Nice try. Good-bye.
That's right 4:35, it's not my business, but you laying out here is defying your own intentions.
And it's not fake care. I find this farcical. If you really care for someone you make some realistic form of contact.
Good luck. And I still don't give a damn what you think.
mayo,
i had it in mind to tell you about my night's experience with the fireflies. i didn't grow up with them, you see, so having them here is an entirely new, and magical, experience for me.
but after i was done following them around the dark and wet yard like little will o' the wisps, and returned inside, i found myself looking through photo albums.
today (the 28th) is my dad's birthday, and i had the desire to post a picture of him on my blog, to give an entry over to telling myself stories about him.
but i couldn't find a photo of him i wanted to post, even though i was getting a kick out of seeing all my earlier incarnations.
however, i remembered that i had been sent some images, and so over to email i clicked...and there they were. a treasure trove of pictures of dad, his brothers, his mom, none of which i had ever seen before.
my uncle sent them out, last year. when they showed up in my inbox, i ignored them.
then, finally, i shunted them over to a folder, unseen.
i just wasn't able to look at them.
but now i can. and i did.
how vibrantly i can feel him within me! though it still makes me cry, it makes me smile, as well.
i am my father's daughter.
i am daddy's little girl.
i don't know which part of the evening was more magical: the fireflies or the photos.
it doesn't matter. magic is everywhere. you just have to be open to it.
good night, mayo-sama. sleep well.
What the hell???!!??
I will try to catch up...
Hello Mayo.
Hello everyone =)
why did you do it?
Sorry - I never caught up but I have things to do...
Great work on the May-o-thon, guys!
ergo - I'm glad you had fun!
Wendy! - That’s great that your computer is working! I hope your family is well? Mine is hanging in there, but we sure are aging! The kids are growing up, too!
Thank you shithouse and not the shithouse I needed that brew! And on that note…
Anon – who said Which is odd seeing as you never share any of your theories. You just ramble vaguely and smugly imply that you are 'in the know' which I can assure you, you are not.
I know I know nothing anon – its why I ramble very vaguely and have little confidence in my thoughts. BTW re: GW and other topics people discuss, sometimes I have no opinion. I am not close enough to the situation, nor do I know anything relevant to be of any use in discussion, so I don’t say anything. I do hope he’s okay, however, but that goes without saying.
I have also tried to exchange numbers with people, but that never worked out. :( so I ramble on vaguely here :) But I am much more confident in real life, for the record…
Mayo I didn’t have time to look up Bauby, but it sounds as if his words and life are inspirational. I remember writing something about our imaginations being better than reality… so I appreciate the difference and that someone can find beauty there, despite obstacles.
PS – You guys should look up KNARF in the urban dictionary – pretty gross, but hilarious all the same!
PS - BC - I am sorry I missed you! I do understand your sentiments, though. And you must do what's best for yourself - you only live once.
♥
I do miss you very much, however!
Good *insert time of day here* Mayo, SS, TJ, Miranth, Safe, FASC, Kass, Possum, anons, lurkers, watchers and gardeners of blogbelieve!
How are you all this morning/ afternoon/night? Decent, I hope!
Actually, I hope you're much, much better than that!
Elena: Thank you for your beautiful words. I'm glad your mother's fall was not worse. I understand the worry all too well....
*big hug*
For pondering purposes today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block."
Paul Gauguin
and:
"Dream as if you'll live forever...
live as if you'll die today."
James Dean
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a wonderful day, everyone!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Miranth!!!!! You're back from (not quite) catching up!
*big hug*
I'm happy to hear your family is "hanging in there". Sometimes, that's all we can do.....
I hope to see you tonight!
Jules and Mustard,
Sorry, that I wasn't here last night to speak up for you guys. The shit always seems to start flying right after most of us go to bed.
Interesting.
Just wanted you to know that I love you both and cherish your words.
Mayo isn't the only one who keeps Weaver Girl's work.
Here is one of my favorites:
Once your worth to me
was dragonflies on parchment
dancing through a book
was every blossom:
plum, cherry, apple, orange
scenting my long sleeves
was every sunset,
every storm that never broke
every gentle rain
until that one day
when a swordsman came to me
and cut all my ties
and while I reveled
in knowing my foolishness
and danced in freedom
you twisted yourself
tight into a pitiful
sinking line until
a thousand flies buzzed
along, a lonely hymn to
the whites of your eyes
Hey-hey!! I finally made it in today.
Afternoon Mayo & Mayoettes,
You read me fresh from my dentist's appointment. I got in 30 minutes late for my check-up because the guy in front of me was such a tough case I could hear his occasional cries of pain through the waiting room wall. It's a darn good thing I don't have a dental phobia!
Actually, I'm feeling really perky today, despite the atrocious weather. I went to the gym early, did 5 miles on the treadmill (it's only 'fake' running, I know!) and, because there was no-one else about, stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. You know, actually my body is not the amorphous blob I'd always imagined it to be and whilst my thighs still require some work and I need a nose-job like a crackhead needs another hit, I'm pretty pleased with what I see. Cycling home in the rain I felt properly happy just to be alive.
And now I'm going to undo all my hard work with chocolate-covered cranberries and a latte I can almost dip my head into...
Have a great day people1
Kass xx
Good lord, man, are you still Standing??
*is working on week two of achy head & insomnia*
Yeah, what Sdock said. You guys know I would have if I'd been here.
Ya know, it's seems so simple to me. I was always taught that if I felt like I had wronged someone and needed their forgiveness to go and talk to that person. Admit what I'd done and ask them to forgive me. It is then that person's right to grant that forgiveness or not. It's not up to me whether they do or not. And if they don't? Then the burden is off of me. That is for that person to deal with. You can't make someone forgive you. Plain and simple.
Let it go.
To all the anons saying that Mayo needs to take down Jules' poem:
Jealous much?
To the anons who kept bringing up my friend, Mustard:
I will fight for her all day long. She has never said anything bad about anyone here. Period. She doesn't cause drama, unlike you.
She doesn't deserve to be attacked at all.
Ya know what? Eff it. I'm sure nothing I say is going to matter anyway.
Some of you who keep preaching on forgiveness and moving on is quite funny to me. Remember the porch? How come some of you don't go over there anymore? Not one person has ever been told they were not welcome. It was a place for all of us.
Yeah, funny.
Mayo,
Miss ya dude. Have a good one.
SS,
Bwahaha! Palindromes. I'm not gonna lie, I thought I knew what that was but I did have to ask. It's been a long ass time since I was in school! You make me laugh so hard. I swear. Have a good Hump Day, SS! ^_^
Hi and bye, Kass!
Hi and bye, RW!
Gotta go to work! BOOOOOOO!
Have a good one guys! :)
P.S. - Buy me sumfin' today, RW!
I shall getchoo sumfin' pretty for your hair, S&V! :)
Mayo,
How are you today? I hope you are well. Me? I fucking don't want to go to work, but oh well, oh well, oh well.
Re: Last night....
I am continually sorry for the shit that gets thrown around this place. I wish I knew what to do to make it stop. Any ideas?
Just know that I still appreciate and look forward to your words.
Try and have a good one, Mayo.
It's Why Not Wednesday!
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Why Fucking Not?
Smoke,
Thank you for that.
RW,
Don't buy her NUFFIN!
Mustard,
I ♥ you!
SS,
!yadsendeW ton yhW s'tI
I'm too tired to write much , I got home at nearly 9pm then had dinner (I was starving) a couple of glasses of lambrusco and I need a shower and my pillow (and ok hubby is cuddly too)
goodnight all
elena I know thw thought i scary but it is so wonderful you are so close to your mother, many many people never have that. I am so glad she is ok.
take care I'm thinking of you.
wendy Bc miranth pp fasc pp sdock RW amy carrie mustard smoke kass and all other s arriveing have a great day/night until I'm back tomorrow.
Mayo wishing you peace, happiness, joy and love much love EP xx
SS llew era ouy era epoH. seinnub dna seilfrettub, seidrib ouy gnidneS.
xx PE evol astol
goodnight all
and TJ and entropy an anyone else (my excuse for forgetting is my tired brain!)
ss didn't start the palindromes, this anon did
anonymous said...
uoy evol i
May 27, 2008 6:36 PM
Hi Anon, S&V, Sdock, Ergo, Miranth, 616,
I thought a palindrome was something that read the same forwards as backwards, ie. Rats live on no evil star. Or am i confused here?
Kass xx
This will be all I say about what occurred last night:
1. That song I posted last night, it's a pretty damn cool song by a pretty damn cool artist and you'd serve yourself well to check him out.
2. Don't put words in my mouth.
Mayo,
Did you know?
Ray Toro ownz the universe.
Yeeeeeah, not many people do. It's okay if you didn't.
Muwhahahaha.
SS,
I'm about to make your eyeballs bleed.
!TOOHW !?yrecorg eht ot neeb t'nevah I csuaeb doof elbisivini htiw ecaf ym ffuts ton yhw rO ?! god yffulf a tep og ton yhw rO ?!ssa emos kcik og ton yhW !yadsendeW toN yhW s'ti ,dias kcodS ekiL
I am so evil.
Later, guys.
Oh my gosh, Mayo. It would have been a lot funnier had I also said Ray Toro ownz a lot of ocean-front property, but I didn't, and so now it's not so funny.
But, you can't deny. It would have been!
I see more shit was thrown about last night...
Since I'm not a regular anymore, I was unaware of some of the shit that has been going on. Some of it looks like pretty interesting shit though. But it is shit, just the same...
I'm not a regular anymore because I don't like to "stand" in shit.
Oh, and I have something shitty to tell you.
I shot the sheriff.
Hi Mustard! Hi Anon!
A lame joke for an ininspiring afternoon (and the day started so well) -
Old Jokes Home:
A man walks up to his house and notices his Grandfather sitting on the porch with nothing on from the waist down.
“Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaims. The old man looks at him and says, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma’s idea.”
Kass xx
but I didn't shoot no deputy
"I'm not a regular anymore because I don't like to "stand" in shit.
Oh, and I have something shitty to tell you.
I shot the sheriff."
Is Mayo dead then? He won't like that.
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
Goodmorning everybody!
Hi FASC, Safe, Miranth, 616, Toujours, Socky, Kass, Princess, Mustard, former regular Anon,Anons, lurkies!
Goodnight Ergo *whispers*
LOL, Kass!
oh, and *high five* I'm back too!! My 'conscience' is back from Washington. But only for a few days as he has to head off to Quebec next. So I've been very good/bad and have not been two-timing at Mayo's =)
I went to the gym early, did 5 miles on the treadmill
It sounds like all your wonky bits are working again, then =)
And I'm with you on what a palindrome is,too.More palindromes -
Dogma? I am God.
Damn it, I'm mad.
Evil I did dwell, lewd did I live.
tons o'snot.
and a popular race around here...
top spot. ^_~
RW, still unwell? That's not fun! But on the positive side, it does mean you will be over it, rather than getting it, when it is time for your break =)
BC, Good to see you in blue! You sound very focused, and well =)
Look how pretty it was here yesterday
I went five minutes away, in three different directions, over lunch Rangitoto (Rang-ee-toe-toe)Island,out in the gulf, is a dormant volcano.
All of these places are central city. This one is looking out to the west coast. We're on a very narrow isthmus, at this point, and you can walk from one side of the country to the other in a few hours.
Mayo, have you caught germs? Hope you're okay!
SS, Revenge is mine. Feast your eyes on NZ's longest placename - 92 continuous letters in reverse =)
uhatanatikaunehwiakopukunorohagnuamikipakakupirutaeaheruaetamatouauaokagnahignatakahwatamuaT*
And now, I'm off again!
Have a great day/afternoon/night everyone!
*English translation - The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one.
Nose flute! We're so cool ^_~
Bugger! That didn't all print. You're not getting off that easy SS!
*determinedly slogs away again*
uhatanatikaunehwiakopukuno
rohagnuamikipakakupirutaeah
eruaetamatouauaokagnahignatakahw
atamuaT
*grits teeth*
*closes eyes*
*presses enter*
Weee Hooo! *Gwen Stefani style*
That one worked!!
Uh, but the gaps shoudn't be there
>_<
*blogger discriminates against ridiculously long place names*
*blows raspberry at Blogger*
;P
'Night all!
Hi PP! Hi Anon!
Yep, all my joints are back in working order - it's now just my heart, lungs and muscles that prevent me competing at Olympic level.
My favourite Roseanne quote is "The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest". I think that's something to live by!
Kass xx
Elena, I'm sorry about your Ma. I'm close with my mine too, and my Da too and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't chat with them all the time, tell them my stories, listen to theirs, ask to borrow stuff, trade books back and forth etc. My Gran does that thing about her mementos too, always talking about who she wants them to go to and saying things like "If I'm not here next year" etc. That drives me up the wall; I'm close with my Gran too and I don't even want to think about it.
And TJ, your post this morning made me tear up.
Solly, thank you so much. I also didn't realize that that poem was one of your favorites. The other night I read back a few of them (I was trying to collect them into one file instead of scattered everywhere) and I found some ones I had made about you. Every word is true. :)
Hey Kass, isn't that a great feeling though?
Princess, thank you also. That's just it, isn't it? Everything you said.
Splash, I can't tell you how funny it is to me this morning that "food" backwards is "doof."
PP, beautiful pics, can I just tell you I am jealous of your palm trees?
Last night's nice anons: Thank you. SWA, I'm thinking that was you (I'm pretty sure,) thank you. You have always had my back, Solly's too and I appreciate that. I don't say it enough. If there were any others, thank you as well.
Mean anons who were saying junk about my friends: It's class. It's trying to keep drama off the blog. People have left (Fimble Star, most recently and for me, most depressingly,) and Mayo and SS are hardly around as it is. I doubt if they are going to chat, or post, when crap is being thrown around. Besides, people who know me know the truth, and anyone who doesn't and makes up their mind because of what a handful of people are saying, well, not my fault and I suppose not my problem either. So no one ever has to say anything. One thing I do want to clear up though is that I never told anyone to eff off. So that alone should tell you something about the rest of it as well.
Mouuuuu, it is chilly again today goddamnit, and it's almost June! It's sunny and bright but it feels like late September. My effing seasonal rhythms are feeling all off; it's making me think about Halloween rather than pool parties, tiki torches, grilled veggies and The Big Sandwich, the smell of citronella, fireflies in the grass and Bob Marley playing in the background. I need to focus! Have a nice one, everyone. ^_^
Mayo, and what's this junk with waiting like eighty years between posts anymore? I swear I had kids, grandkids, grew old and died and was reborn as a Venetian hooker in the time it's taking between posts these days, what the hell?
Kapunua said...
Mayo, and what's this junk with waiting like eighty years between posts anymore? I swear I had kids, grandkids, grew old and died and was reborn as a Venetian hooker in the time it's taking between posts these days, what the hell?
haha K!!!
god i know though!!
its like in any relationship........we are already down to once a week sex (if we are lucky) and its not even been 9 months yet!!
only kidding mayo, but yeh you knew that!
just in and out for me quickly to say i won't be around til tomorrow cos fuck it i've got a night out tonight! its a work related party with mr bloke's work mates, who i have not yet met! yep could be good, could be bad??! he says i'll like one of them...she's into dr who and is kinda dark!! ok so thats my friend for the night!!
ok so catch you tomorrow family!!
mayo and SS *hugs*
love to you all!
Kapunua said...
Mayo, and what's this junk with waiting like eighty years between posts anymore? I swear I had kids, grandkids, grew old and died and was reborn as a Venetian hooker in the time it's taking between posts these days, what the hell?
haha K!!!
god i know though!!
its like in any relationship........we are already down to once a week sex (if we are lucky) and its not even been 9 months yet!!
only kidding mayo, but yeh you knew that!
just in and out for me quickly to say i won't be around til tomorrow cos fuck it i've got a night out tonight! its a work related party with mr bloke's work mates, who i have not yet met! yep could be good, could be bad??! he says i'll like one of them...she's into dr who and is kinda dark!! ok so thats my friend for the night!!
ok so catch you tomorrow family!!
mayo and SS *hugs*
love to you all!
no i am not anonymous!! sorry that was so obviously me!! pressed the wrong button to right some witty named entry but forgot!!
edit
write
god!
Mayo, you really don't understand do you? I know you tried to do something to make all the drama stop, but you have sorely understimated the hurt and damage she has done to this blog and some of the lovelies. It is only natural that many will be upset. You would have done better to have come in and said "I'm sorry you lost you're job, I do care about ALL of you, and don't pay attention to the anons. You are ALL special to me, including Kapunua." That might have worked. Just a suggestion for the future. It is not jealousy that drove some to comment, but hurt. There is a difference. I was not one that commented last night. I see where you were going with this, but it is as if she kicked all the other people in the shins to knock them down, then was handed a reward for being the one to figure out how to get there first.
Try to move past, lovelies, the ones who are hurt. There are so many more things that take precedence over this. It is all perspective. I wasn't exactly pleased, but I understand.
Since we are into word games at the moment ...
Enola/Alone
You are not forgotten, Richey.
Mayo, you really don't understand do you? I know you tried to do something to make all the drama stop, but you have sorely understimated the hurt and damage she has done to this blog and some of the lovelies. It is only natural that many will be upset. You would have done better to have come in and said "I'm sorry you lost you're job, I do care about ALL of you, and don't pay attention to the anons. You are ALL special to me, including Kapunua." That might have worked. Just a suggestion for the future. It is not jealousy that drove some to comment, but hurt. There is a difference. I was not one that commented last night. I see where you were going with this, but it is as if she kicked all the other people in the shins to knock them down, then was handed a reward for being the one to figure out how to get there first.
Try to move past, lovelies, the ones who are hurt. There are so many more things that take precedence over this. It is all perspective. I wasn't exactly pleased, but I understand.
THANK YOU.
why should Mayo have to say that Kapunua is included? he should not HAVE to say anything. I feel that Mayo felt forced to put her poem up there because she would NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. I think he shouldn't have said anything or done anything. He should ignore her.... The way SHE ignored those she doesn't like. That would be the most fair thing to do.
11:56 anon I agree with you
I fantasize about Kapunua taking her crappy "poetry" and leaving this blog. Seriously fantasize about how nice it would be if she never posted again. How quiet. How not-annoying it would be to not have to read that shit. How NICE it would be if Mayo didn't have to include her just to make her shut up. Oh well. I can dream.
Amyranth was right last night. I was there when Kapunua said those things to CTV. CTV was deeply hurt because of SS not giving her credit for her words. Kapunua couldn't see that and called it a "pity party" or something cruel and unneccesarry. We all get hurt sometimes by certain things but oh no, we are not allowed to show our hurt at being forgotten, otherwise in her eyes it's a "pity party" and should be dropped. Just because she didn't understand the hurt he caused her...she had to say something. You don't have to understand why CTV was so upset, you just have to see that she WAS and leave her alone. She didn't HAVE to defend SS because SS was never even going to see the things that CTV was saying about him! There was no reason for it. She did not need to give her opinion on CTV feelings of anger. There was no reason for it.
I will bold my words to make sure Mayo reads them.
I will repost that comment another ten times to guarentee he sees it.
I will lurk until a new page is made to post my "poetry" to ensure he will read me.
I will bitch until I get what I want.
Dear Mayo,
I take back my post where i said this place was liken to a toilet, a place to vent all your shit.
I have a new name, Mayo's school of kindergarten.
With some kids screaming, the teacher loves you more than us, or the teacher is playing favorites, or why was her poems hung on the board and not ours.
It's just down right childish and frankly boring the hell out of me.
So Mayo, next time you post someones poems or words, remember there are children here who will feel left out or dissipointed, hummer them will ya, throw them a bone for pete's sake.
So they will SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Sorry everyone else, just had to let off steam.
Now i have to leave, damn time thing.
love ya all
PJ
And things like that SHOULD be brought to the public eye so that maybe one day Mayo will see that he doesn't have to act nice to her just in order to let her fit in. I don't care if it causes drama, he needs to know. She put down CTV in favor of "defending" SS (which is stupid because SS was NEVER going to see what CTV said about him). and she refuses to let Carrie back in. I think that Mayo and SS BOTH need to know what goes on off this blog so they can make up their own minds.
And there is no reason for all the Sei stories either. It takes up space and nothing more.
And things like that SHOULD be brought to the public eye so that maybe one day Mayo will see that he doesn't have to act nice to her just in order to let her fit in. I don't care if it causes drama, he needs to know. She put down CTV in favor of "defending" SS (which is stupid because SS was NEVER going to see what CTV said about him). and she refuses to let Carrie back in. I think that Mayo and SS BOTH need to know what goes on off this blog so they can make up their own minds.
I agree with this.
I'm not jealous that he used her poem. I don't want anyting I write to go on Mayo's page anyway. I'm just disappointed, and I'm mad because I'm sure he put it up there because he felt like he had to
Surely if she was defending SS in a place where SS wouldn't see her defending him, this proves she was not doing it to curry favor with SS. She was doing it because she felt CTV had misjudged his intentions and taken offense were none was meant.
Surely if she was defending SS in a place where SS wouldn't see her defending him, this proves she was not doing it to curry favor with SS. She was doing it because she felt CTV had misjudged his intentions and taken offense were none was meant.
Have you read what she wrote on CTV's blog that day? Saying she was trying to explain CTV had misjudged his intentions does not even cover it! She ripped into her, and made her feel like SHIT! THAT is the problem, that Kapunua can't just say, "hey, maybe you shouldn't take it like that" but she tells people she wasn't aware there needed to be a "support group because he didn't cite a quote?"
This is how it always is. We see it every single day.
CTV doesn't even post here anymore because of all this. I miss her and I know many other's do too. Many other's are gone too because of Kapunua. I know the argument, they are free to come and go as they like, and no one makes them leave or stay. Some just have faster breaking points than others. Put up with the Kapunua show for as long as you can, and then figure it just isn't worth it to stay.
Deny it all you want, you know I am right.
It's funny you know in all the time I've been here all I've seen her do is nothing more than anyone else does. Except no one gets it as bad as she does. It's a freak show the way she gets treated. People spew vile shit at each other all day. They spew vile shit at Mayo and SS. But if she so much as steps out of line it's three pages worth of tearing into her.
Why in the world does everyone care so damn much about what Mayo and SS think anyway?
Jesus. I come here sometimes just for shits and giggles and at first I assumed most other people were the same way.
But damn. Some of you people act like you think these guys really are Gerard and Frank.
I personally think they're probably a couple of bored out of their minds housewife types - essentially people with no lives who want to create their own little Blogbelieve Universe where they can be the center of attention. But whoever the fuck they are, this isn't funny anymore. It's just kinda pathetic.
Kapunua did say in a nice way that you couldn't expect SS to cite everyone's quote every time and I think her or someone else said that no one else was expected to do that so why should he. But CTV kept on whining and whining and saying how much it hurt, and it *did* turn into a support group. I agree with Kapunua. CTV shoudl have put on her big girl panties and dealt with it. But look what happens when you speak your mind about anyone BUT Kapunua?
Mayo, I can see, you´re still paying attention to the wrong people!!!
WHY?
What happened to you?
Your words mean nothing, or do they? =>
-I am drawn to those who misguidedly assume they have little to offer. I admire those with the biggest hearts, and the quietest egos. And the vibrant, passionate, strong willed and self assured also encourage my craft.-
I´m disappointed... :(
The "support group" atmosphere is in full swing now.
She left her personal information lying all over the internet, then acted surprised when someone used it to make her life a living hell.
SURPRISE!
I thought her "personal information" some of that came from newspaper articles and stuff about her group, and you're saying it's HER fault that people used it against her? Didn't Sdock's last name get posted here too? That's no one's fault but the people who cause that kind of pain. By the way supporting someone because they lost their livelihood and making pages of posts supporting someone who was whining because SS was evil enough not say her name once...... yeah a bit different.
Kapunua said...
Will miss you, FASC!
*sigh* It never ends. jerks too afraid to sign in, making junk up over there and then telling Mayo what he should and should not say to me.
Meh, what a bunch of losers.
11:51 AM, May 28, 2008
She is still talking about people. She can't just stop!
-Meh, what a bunch of losers.-
Says the person without real life who´s online 24/7 ^_^
This blog is starting to look like a big pile of dogshit. I don't think its worth my time to come here anymore.
Always the same bullshit.
-Meh, what a bunch of losers.-
Says the person without real life who´s online 24/7 ^_^
You're probably one of the night AND day crew who is lurking constantly anyway.
Eliza explains the pictures
pictures.
myspace.com/barrettgriffin
i wanted to write a bit on the photos i put up a few days ago. they were taken by barret griffin an amazing artist that i met here in chicago. we were hanging out one day and i mentioned that i would love him to snap some pictures of me someday. he was so very funny with his response, he kind of screamed a little and got really excited. he then explained that he had always wanted to take pictures of me, and of us hanging out but for the sake of privacy he had made it a point to never put me in a weird space and to respect my privacy. (thank you.) soon after that we decided on when we would take the pics. we had been tossing back and forth ideas for the shoot and then one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks..... i wanted to do a shoot where i was basically making fun of myself. at the end of the day, i think we did a good job with that. i had the best time that day and i feel through the pictures you can really see my intensity and almost hear my laugh. we had one set of pictures that we were saving for last and about 2 mins before we started shooting i called it off afraid that it might be to graphic and in bad taste.... instead we did the crying pictures. i actually think those pictures said more than i could have said with even the best picture of the first idea. barrett and i were alone during the final set of pictures and he gave me a second to myself, as i started to cry i let him know and he started snapping pictures. real tears, real emotion captured in a few pictures. i couldnt be happier. i wanted to thank barrett and the other people that were there that day helping with the shoot. i hope that you like them as well.
myspace.com/barrettgriffin
xo
eliza
Where is the picture of Gerard without his pants that Eliza put up?
But damn. Some of you people act like you think these guys really are Gerard and Frank.
DUH!
But damn. Some of you people act like you think these guys really are Gerard and Frank.
DUH!
i wanna see those bigass thunderthighs!
-Meh, what a bunch of losers.-
Says the person without real life who´s online 24/7 ^_^
You're probably one of the night AND day crew who is lurking constantly anyway.
Of course I just live for this blog and for my lovely mayo ^_-
Where did you hear that anon?
To Mayo:
Do the right thing and delete this blog.
Do it for the sake of the people who have become addicted to it. It can't possibly serve any good purpose anymore, if it ever did.
The friendships that have formed here can continue on someone else's blog. It's doubtful that anyone new will be let in at this point.
Seriously. How many more jobs will be lost because of this? How many real life relationships will suffer?
If you really care for the "lovelies" here, you'll do them all a favor and let them go.
where is the picture of PAUL without pants??
.
shine and summertime
.
concerned outsider said...
To Mayo:
Do the right thing and delete this blog.
Do it for the sake of the people who have become addicted to it. It can't possibly serve any good purpose anymore, if it ever did.
The friendships that have formed here can continue on someone else's blog. It's doubtful that anyone new will be let in at this point.
Seriously. How many more jobs will be lost because of this? How many real life relationships will suffer?
If you really care for the "lovelies" here, you'll do them all a favor and let them go.
May 28, 2008 2:02 PM
That is so true. People have become so dependant on this blog and Mayo. If Mayo cares he would see how unhealthy that is.
Yes it was on buzznet. Pictures of Gerard without pants. not the one where his pants fell down around his ankles on stage but him walking without pants. i saw it and i want to see it again
where is the picture of PAUL without pants??
You just assume they were right?
Other anon, where did you hear this?
I know which one you're talking about and you're really stupid if you think thats him.
That's probably Mayo at 2:02 trying to get out of this and making it sound like he's going to be doing you a favor.
It's him.
Me!
Me!
It's not.
Gerard Way is a drama queen and he lives for the drama of his relationships. That is why he's pushing his LynZ relationship. I wonder if he smushes her with his huge massive thunder thighs.
concerned outsider said...
If you really care for the "lovelies" here, you'll do them all a favor and let them go.
That could be the best thing to do.
He's damned if does and damned if he doesn't with the polarizing personalities here.
BC if that is truly how you feel then by all means please don't waste another moment here.
But remember that others do not share your view. I am truly hurt by it.
I agree with the deleting anons.
Concerned anon, I'll be honest. I actually want this shit blog to be deleted. What you said is the reason why I stopped coming. It was interfering with my life and I got tired of it. Not being here for the last few weeks was a blessing.
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