Friday, April 11, 2008

Once more, with feeling.

Clutter. Even a precious possession can be set aside, misplaced or forgotten. Another less important object carelessly placed upon it, and another, and another, until it is buried. It is easy to become overrun and all that surrounds us consumes our sanity, our energy. Soon, you are unable to find what you had only a few weeks ago considered relevant. What a fucking mess.

It is usually in haste that I will begin to rummage through the piles. The need for immediate clearance prompts the overhaul. But rationale overrides rage and I trade trash bags for storage boxes. All that has been sorted out is neatly preserved. I am certain six months from now I will be digging through the boxes.

But for now, space has been cleared and I found my jacket.





The Burden of Elevation

I can no longer stand in front
and throw my fist at you, intent
on hearing every word, captured
in the moment spinning out of control.
But, I miss this like second nature
and then again, I was always more
comfortable slightly out of focus.




p.s. what the hell another won't hurt.

2,359 comments:

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resurrected wreck said...

I love Yellow Submarine!!

resurrected wreck said...

Historical, K?

ergoproxy said...

"would you belive me if I said I was being followed by a flying yellow submarine?"

gotta love Ringo's voice

resurrected wreck said...

"I've got a hole in me pocket."

ergoproxy said...

anon I think that is the BEST first comment ever!

but I'm a tad biased heehee

Anonymous said...

I loved him as the Stationmaster too.

Anonymous said...

Guys, I'm gonna finish working on my goodnight, then hit the sack.

Dog tired.

I had a blast today. I wish we had more days like it. It's fun just chillin'. :)

I hope everyone's coming week is much better than the last one!

See you all later!

ergoproxy said...

RW I'm introducing it to my daughter. :)

Anonymous said...

yeah, I should have left the comma out though. so it would just say Cool Ergo.

Anonymous said...

BEATLE TALK?!?!

Damn. I'll have to catch it later :(

Goodnight!

resurrected wreck said...

Ringo was my favourite Beatle, EP :) Followed by John.

Anonymous said...

And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.


From: Your tomorrows, your love, your always

April 13, 2008 1:45 PM



your love is my dream
i need no other
i want no other
it is you
always

be well, my love
my heart
my dream
my always



I Would Live in Your Love
Sarah Teasdale

I would live in your love as the sea-grasses live in the sea,
Borne up by each wave as it passes, drawn down by each wave that recedes;
I would empty my soul of the dreams that have gathered in me,
I would beat with your heart as it beats, I would follow your soul
as it leads.

resurrected wreck said...

Night, Mustard! :)

resurrected wreck said...

EP, your daughter is going to love it!

Anonymous said...

Romo, Romo, wherefore art thou Romo?

Anonymous said...

"Don't get historical" was a line from Yellow Submarine. I think it was Ringo. ^_^

toujours said...

hello hello,everyone!

guess where i am?



on elena's computer.

i'm in kansas!:)

Anonymous said...

Okay, it's Romeo.

And I suspect you're calling someone out. This is a common mistake, thinking that "wherefore art thou" means "Where are you." It doesn't. "Wherefore" means why. Juliet is asking Romeo why he has to be Romeo, as in, "Why are you a Montague?"

"Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Get rid of your name, or if you won't, then I'll marry you and be rid of my name.

Follow?

ergoproxy said...

oops I just overflowed the laundry tub a little

Anonymous said...

Nice, TJ!

resurrected wreck said...

OMG, TJ!!

How the heck are you??

Hullo to Elena as well :)

ergoproxy said...

TJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so you got there safe! fantastic!

and what's elena like?
just whisper and she won't hear...

Anonymous said...

Mayo,

An Anonymous dropped this off today: "You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world."

It’s kind of stuck with me all day, and I think that’s due in part to it fitting exactly what I was feeling/thinking yesterday.

I don’t have trust issues with myself. It’s just that I want to be absolutely sure what I’m doing is the best thing for me. I’ve had people tell me, people whom I care for, that this will not amount to anything, that I will never make it. I’ve been reassured that this is a disappointing road to follow, that there’s nothing at the end. My thoughts, values, and sanity were held at gunpoint. In one fluid motion, they could have blown to hell, and almost did, everything I ever wished and hoped for.

It was then that I started questioning my path. It’s like one of those mazes they use in psychological studies except different. Each thought always leads me back to “What are you doing this for? You know.” And then, for that day, the routine is over with. But, like clockwork, it will happen again tomorrow.

I eat it, breathe it, live it, and dream it. But, I am afraid. I am afraid that all of the things they ever said will come true, that I will be nothing more than a dreamer dependant upon a reality that isn’t mine. Continuously living through the lives of others, trying to get a taste of what it’s like living in rooms that aren’t your own, surviving on nothing but blood, sweat, and tears.

I’m ready and willing to fight for it. I just never intended on fighting myself.

Goodnight, Mayo. Here's hoping you live your dreams.


SS:

I had this really corny song I was going to post, but I think I'll refrain. It tips the corn-factor scale. It's about friendship, and one of my old friends gave it to me way back when. It's always just kind of been there. But, it's the thought that counts. :)

Have a great night and a great tomorrow! Hopefully we'll see you soon!

Goodnight, dude.

sdock10 said...

cocksucker anon,

Niiiiiice!

You should have totally been first.

Anonymous said...

Naw, bitch it said what I wanted it to.

Anonymous said...

I read that Miranth was maybe looking for me and now I read that her computer is down so I can't e-mail her. I have an extra single ticket for the 20th in Detroit that I can't use and I wondered if she wanted it. It is front row, stage right, mezzanine level. Pretty much a perfect seat and I am sick to have to give it up, but at least I'm still going on the 19th. I guess I should have spoke up sooner. Oh well, Miranth if you read this before Saturday, leave a comment and I will e-mail you if you want to meet up or want my extra, most precious ticket.

ergoproxy said...

RW I liked George and Ringo

ergoproxy said...

Anonymous said...
yeah, I should have left the comma out though. so it would just say Cool Ergo.

April 13, 2008 10:08 PM


THANK YOU :)

resurrected wreck said...

George is a sweetheart too, EP :)

Anonymous said...

I thought both those shows were general admission?

resurrected wreck said...

Well, it's my bedtime, darn it :(

Have a good night, everyone! :)

TJ & Elena, have a blast at the show!!

Anonymous said...

Is laughing with sharp objects

Anonymous said...

Re: Detroit Show:

GA Floor, GA balcony, but the Mezzanine has assigned seating.

toujours said...

i survived the bus, yes! and elena's great -- her house is awesome, i am so impressed!

you know what else? i was starting to wonder if maybe it isn't actually a very creepy thing, to suddenly show up at the kansas show, too? am i going to make gerard way flinch and keep to the very opposite side of the stage??

Anonymous said...

Double dog damn, wish I had known that.

resurrected wreck said...

TJ, tell him Canada says hello!! ;)

sdock10 said...

Anyone ever been to Sloss Furnace?

toujours said...

good night ressurrected wreck!:)

Anonymous said...

the phone? Where is the phone?

Anonymous said...

Only the mezzanine and box seats are reserved, which would have been great for someone who is not a teenager. On the 19th I will be with the masses on the GA floor. I am slightly terrified.

ergoproxy said...

sharp object anon be careful, it's all fun and games until someone loses and eye!

oh TJ I bet you'll havea great time, but yes perhaps getting a little creepy stalkerish,.. a fake moustache?

toujours said...

oh for sure,ressurrected wreck. i'll just complete my mission and totally transform into a stalker fan. lol

Anonymous said...

Mee 2.

Anonymous said...

Thanks 10:26

ergoproxy said...

goodnight RW sweet dreams!


Tj mayo has himself as a Travel agent now :)

Anonymous said...

Opposite of left!

Amyranth said...

Ha! There it is, in black and white!

Ergo is cool!

-A

Anonymous said...

damn straight she is.

ergoproxy said...

hi amyranth!

ergoproxy said...

aw anon you are making me grin!

thanks, I try :)

Anonymous said...

Mayo? Man, I just want you to know how much fun we are having talking about you, trying to figure you out, playing around with your words.

Not just in AIM, but all of us.

We kinda bond over you my dear, and that's pretty cool. ^_^

Amyranth said...

Teej, do the moustache, and a black bowler hat.

Anytime he glances at you, give him the wink and the gun.

-A

ergoproxy said...

amy THAT would be so funny!

Anonymous said...

Also we're trying to figure out, when they make the BlogBelieve movie, who is going to play all of us?

I've decided that I want Claudia Black to play me.

Damn, I wish that's what I looked like. O_O

Anonymous said...

Do you think they could get GW to play Mayo?

I think he could pull it off.

Anonymous said...

LOL, I said I think GW "could pull it off"

I slay me.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaa! That'd be too funny.

No, 'cause GW would have to be involved as some other character in some way.

Damn man, that Claudia Black is only a week or two older than I am. She's way effing hotter than I am on my hottest day, but I look a helluva lot younger. O_O

ergoproxy said...

anon. possible he said he wasn't touring, he may want to break into movies!

I have no idea who'd play me.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, I said I think GW "could pull it off"

I slay me.


Don't think I didn't catch that either.

sdock10 said...

Who would play me??? Who?

Amyranth said...

I'd wanna play myself in a BlogBelieve movie.

I've always wanted to act, just never.. I dunno, made it priority I guess.

-A

Anonymous said...

I'll be honest with you guys. When I first saw the video for Ghost Of You my thought was,"This guy's gonna break into acting some day." He was seriously pretty good.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, who would play Solly. I dunno! Well Solly,what actresses do you like?

Solly, maybe Ashley Judd could play you.

I wish that someone awesome like Gillian Anderson would play me, but there's absolutely no resemblance whatsoever.

Amyranth said...

Hey Mayonaise, who would you want to play you?

-A

Anonymous said...

Jack Russell terriers are vicious, just sayin'

Anon616 said...

Hello Mayo, SS, Ergo, Amy, TJ!!!!!!!!, various anons, K, those letting Greyhound do the driving and those driving themselves!

How are you all tonight/day? I hope you all had a lovely, relaxing Sunday!

I was catching up on the happens of today and noticed a question was asked of me
(a few times) ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anonymous said...
"
Yep, Ergo....Our vampyre has flown away. He's still at the other place though ;)"
---------

What other place is that Wendy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi anonymous! GOOD GRIEF - No need to SHOUT repeatedly . I heard you the first time *big wink* It’s no secret conspiracy -- or anything *wink again*
The other place would be his bands myspace page. You can e-mail him, me, Ergo or BC for the url if you would like.

Amy: How's that job/stress situation? Is it any better, love?

TJ: I'm so happy to hear you finally made it to Elena's!!! I know the two of you must be having a great time already!!! :D

Speaking of e-mails, I have a few to answer. I’ll be back in a bit!

Until then, have fun everyone!

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

Amyranth said...

Anon, they are definitely not the most... gentle dogs, that's for sure.

They are quite high strung too.

-A

Anonymous said...

Not all of them. My friend had a rally nice one.

Hey, are you the same period-less* anon from earlier who comes around once in a while?






*LOL, "period-less."

sdock10 said...

Ashley Juggs could totally play me.

That would be nice!

Anonymous said...

Ashley Juggs! I love it.

Amyranth said...

Hay! It's Wendy!

The job is slowly getting better. I don't feel AS overwhelmed, but I am really watching what's going on around me to be certain this is the right move.

How have you been? Long time no see~

-A has to go grab some ketchup.

ergoproxy said...

hi wendy!

I know that anon thought they were on to something! I let them know too
sheesh!

Anonymous said...

My ass hurts, because a snippy ass Jack Russell terrier bit me on it and my hand when I was minding my own bidness.

Anonymous said...

Well you know, it wouldn't matter who would play Mayo, 'cause you'd never see him. He'd be a shadow.

Or Jonathan Rhys Meyers could play him and we could do away with the whole "shadow" thing 'cause honestly. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Or Joaquin Phoenix.

ergoproxy said...

hi t-bone you're back!

little yappy dogs annoy me, I prefer larger breeds

Anonymous said...

When I was 16, I had this cute red bob hairdo. This is coincidentally the same year Sixteen Candles came out. My friends and I were in NYC, and a bunch of Japanese tourists saw me and started yelling, "Molly Ringwald! Molly Ringwald!", They started taking pictures. It was hysterical.

But I don't think I looked like her facially. I would have killed to have her lips though.

The kids I teach tell me I remind them of The Nanny, Fran Drescher, but I think it's the big long black hair and the voice, and my general nuttiness.

Anonymous said...

the blood from the wound
was dripping down my fingers
no more cheese for you

Anonymous said...

Hahaa! Star that's awesome. ^_^

ergoproxy said...

or Alan Rickman - just for the voice

Anonymous said...

How about Johnny Depp? A girl can dream.

Amyranth said...

Ergo, I agree.

Boyfriend wants a German Shepherd. I told him he's bugnuts.

-A

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, now that I like!

ergoproxy said...

oh star that's cool!

t-bone, you bandaged that?

Anonymous said...

T Bone!

That haiku rocked!

Anonymous said...

Johnny Depp is way too obvious a choice for Mayo, anon. Besides, he gets all the good roles. ^_^

I know!


CHRISTIAN HAYDENSEN!

No, just kidding.

Anonymous said...

See, Kap, we can be friends.

Mayonaise said...

Or, Christopher Walken?

ergoproxy said...

amyranth they are lovely dogs, we are minding a boarder collie cattle dog x at the moment.
Alas our past dogs bar 1 (who we had 12 years) all kill chickens :(

Mayonaise said...

Or, Anthony Hopkins?

Mayonaise said...

Or, James Earl Jones?

ergoproxy said...

hello mayo!

Anonymous said...

How old are you Mayo?

ergoproxy said...

Sean Connery?

Mayonaise said...

Because, it's really all about the voice with me, don't you agree?

Anonymous said...

Elijah Wood?

Anonymous said...

Now Mayo, Anthony Hopkins I like. That kind of wins. I've sometimes imagined you like Hannibal Lecter. Umm, but not in a bad way. Like, without the killing and eating people thing. ^_^

elena said...

whoa, mayo!

hi there from the new kansas contingent of your lovelies!

sdock10 said...

For sure, the voice and the shadowy profile.

Anonymous said...

Mayo has a sexay voice for sure!

Amyranth said...

Mayo, I have to agree with Ergo, Sean Connery would work for you.

He sounds quite mysterious.

James Earl Jones would have us all convinced we're stuck in a Jedi Universe.

-A

elena said...

i'm not really elena, you know.


;)


-tj

Anon616 said...

Okay, I'm back! I answered 3 of those e-mails. That's enough work for now. I'm exhausted! :p

Amy: I'm glad to hear things have settled down a bit! I've been good, thanks for asking!

How about you? Still thinking about that hookin' thing? ;)

Ergo: LOL! Maybe we should have let anon think we had some secret thing going on ;)

Hi Star! Long time no see. How are you?

Hello T-Bone and anyone else who arrived while I was in the mail room.

ergoproxy said...

oh definately it's the voice

you need a nice silhouette though too

Amyranth said...

Oooh. Hey!

Daniel Craig!

-A

Amyranth said...

Wendy, when does a girl not think about hooking? Haha!

Wow, it's Elenjay! Teejna?

My world is spinning off of it's axis!

-A

Anon616 said...

And Mayo make a surprise appearance!

Howdy Mayo!!! I hope you are well!

ergoproxy said...

amy Lol on the James Earl Jones!

can I put in a vote for Gerard Butler?
Just 'cause ...well...phantom 'n all, and 300

Anonymous said...

TJ and Elena, what do you girls have planned for your sleep over? Are you having the best time ever?

Hey, Mayo, nice to see you!

Anonymous said...

silhouette yesss -- but not like hitchcock's ,plz.

Smoke said...

Now, who could play me?

Hi everyone! Hi Mayo!

ergoproxy said...

so mayo apart from choosing actors are you well?

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Dude you know I can't see you in blue?

You are invisible.

Anonymous said...

Way for my entire computer to crash jsut now. O_O

Mayonaise said...

Or, Christopher Walken?


How'd I miss this?

Mayo, you win. :D

Amyranth said...

can I put in a vote for Gerard Butler?
Just 'cause ...well...phantom 'n all, and 300


THIS... IS... BLOGGER!!!


*tries to picture it*

*fails*

-A

Smoke said...

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman.

That's Mayo. ^_^

Anon616 said...

Amyranth said...
Wendy, when does a girl not think about hooking? Haha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! ;)

As long as she enjoys it! ;)

elena said...

well,sleep over huh?

first we gotta get into our nighties...then we'llprobably just sit here and drink coffee and talk to mayo...

and oh yes, have a pillow fight.

sdock10 said...

Smoke,

Totally!

Now who could play you???

Anon616 said...

Hi Smoke and Solly!

*waves*

Anonymous said...

it's kind of funny to think about who would play you in a movie about your life. It kind of reminds me of my earlier question about self-perception vs. others-perception. What version of you would they portray.

Anonymous said...

and we'll pretend to make comments as each other too.

Smoke said...

Can't you just hear him?

You're just not terribly important to me.

Hee-hee.

I don't know, who is princessy enough but badass enough to play me?

Amyranth said...

Anon616 said...

Amyranth said...
Wendy, when does a girl not think about hooking? Haha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! ;)

As long as she enjoys it! ;)



Hell, as long as she's paid well! I can lay on my back and count ceiling tiles!

-A

Anon616 said...

btw: I think Pete Townsend should play Mayo!

Especially if the script is based on Elena and TJ's gothic :D

ergoproxy said...

TJ/elena gotta have a pillow fight - you have feather pillows of course?

Anonymous said...

BOO!

Anonymous said...

can we have cameos?? yes??

sdock10 said...

Self percecption vs Others perception....hmmm that also depends on which "others", doesn't it?

ergoproxy said...

wendy - interesting suggestion!


amy - is this if the new job doesn't pan out?

Smoke said...

Yeah, I'm just can't think of anyone to play me. :(

Anonymous said...

not cameros, you understand.

sdock10 said...

BOO!

Anonymous said...

Honestly!

Mayo, you're ragingly awesome Christopher Walken and ANthony Hopkins impersonation has twice melted my computer. O_O WTF>

11:11, cool idea, wanna expand on that?

Anonymous said...

I get bit in the ass, people, the ass! And write a poem about it! But Mayo shows up and says Christopeher Walken, i.e. the guy who can't take his damn eyes off the cue card on SNL and you guys forget my ass, literally! :(

sdock10 said...

*waves to everyone here*

Hi BlogBelievers!!!

Solly is going to be so ill and sleepy tomorrow because she should be in bed.

ergoproxy said...

Oh I know I'm percieved differently, but I think mostly it's in a better way than I look at myself

Anonymous said...

Holy christ, my "you're" I obviously meant "your."

WTF is up with me tonight?

Smoke said...

You and me both, Solly. And now my speediness has run Mayo off. :(

ergoproxy said...

hey t-bone!

I said hello and stuff to you twice and you didn't say anything to me!

*sulks*

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Goodnight everyone.


Tj and Elena I hope you have fun

And yes it is all about the voice

Anonymous said...

i haven't seen elena's pillow collection yet, ergo. i'm sure we'll be able to find something to match our nighties.

elena's will be black with red satin trim. mine...well...i have to find it in the depths of my suitcase, first.

ergoproxy said...

oh hey MJ

sweet dreams!

Anon616 said...

Amyranth said...

Hell, as long as she's paid well! I can lay on my back and count ceiling tiles!

-A

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's true! And, you could call yourself a bedroom acCOUNTtant....
for tax and other legal purposes ;)

Ergo: Yes, that anon certainly wanted to KNOW about the other place.

Where's BC tonight?

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering if it's possible to acurately portray someone's life in a movie if the screenplay isn't autobiographical. Depending on the perspective and knowledge of the screenwriter, a person could be portrayed a million different ways.

Anonymous said...

sorry ergo, didn't mean to be rude, I can see by the comment at the top of the page you are cool.

Anonymous said...

Something's up with my computer, it keeps randomly shutting down.

In case I can't get back on tonight (but I hope to,) Mayo, you are responsible for the retarded smile on my face right now. Thank you for coming on and saying "Christopher Walken" and "Anthony Hopkins."

Don't eat anyone, all right?

I mean, unless they're prepared really nicely.

Smoke said...

New post, peeps! ^_^

Amyranth said...

Ergo, why not?

Bedroom accountant, huh? I could swing that!

Teej, usually, my bedclothes consist of a band t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

T-Bone, don't worry yourself about it. I sunburned myself hardcore yesterday, AND my truck got broken into.

I hope the rest of the week is better :/

-A

Anonymous said...

Kap should be played by Paula Abdul and you only wish to be younger looking than that hot babe

Anon616 said...

T-bone said...
I get bit in the ass, people, the ass! And write a poem about it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I said hello T-bone! Sorry to hear about that arse bite. Would you like me to kiss that boo-boo?

How about I just blow you ....
a kiss? ;)

Ergo: Ooops, you meant my Pete Townsend suggestion, didn't ya?
*blushes*

Anonymous said...

11:11 said...

I'm just wondering if it's possible to acurately portray someone's life in a movie if the screenplay isn't autobiographical. Depending on the perspective and knowledge of the screenwriter, a person could be portrayed a million different ways.


I hear you.

Shoots, is it accurate even if it is autobiographical? I mean, don't we all to some extent try to make ourselves seem cooler? more intense, less intense, more likeable, more loveable, more dangerous?

Something to ponder I guess, huh?

Anonymous said...

Your computer randomly shutting down? Oh yeah, that's me, finally found the right combo of herbs.

ergoproxy said...

that's ok t-bone!

I just din't want you thinking you'd been ignored :)

so is your ass/hand ok?

1:11 I think it would be very difficult, and even if autobiographical people who knew them would still feel differently about the accuracy

Anonymous said...

mayo, you didn't see my comments and flinch and run away to the other side of the stage, did you?

Anonymous said...

I'm dealing Ergo. Hydrogen Peroxide is my friend, at least the little hairy bitch had all her shots.

Anonymous said...

anybody here like anal?

Anonymous said...

Lyrics:
It's the sad eyed goodbye, yesterday moments I remember
It's the back street, weak-kneed, partings I recall
It's the mistier mist
The hazier days
The brighter sun
And the easier lays
There's all the more reason for laughing and crying
When you're younger and life isn't too hard at all

It's the fantastic drowse of the afternoon Sundays
That bored you to rages of tears
The unending pleadings, to waste all your good times
In thoughts of your middle aged years
It's a vertical hold, all the things that you're told
For the everyday hero it all turns to zero
And there's all the more reason for living or dying
When you're young and your troubles are all very small

Out hear on the street
We'd gather and meet
And scuff up the sidewalk with endlessly restless feet
And half of the time
We'd broaden our minds more
In the poolhall than we did in the schoolhall
With the downtown chewing-gum bums
Watching the night-life the lights and the fun

Never wanted to be the boy next door
Always thought I'd be something more
But it ain't easy for a small town boy
It ain't easy at all
Thinking it right
Doing it wrong
It's easier from an armchair
Waves of alternatives wash at my sleepiness
Have my eggs poached for breakfast I guess

I think I'll be Clint Eastwood
Jimi Hendrix - he was good

Try William the Conqueror
Now who else do I like?

Does anyone know who this is?
I love this song!!!

ergoproxy said...

I am having a hard time getting a comment box this morning my server must be having dramas.



saw poor Frank in those shorts though he really reminded me of either the kid with the hand me downs to the one who forgot his gear and had to wear the schools spare shorts

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