Recess.
Blaze a trail of peel-outs and back seat fucks
Into permanence, slammed beyond the thick
much too fast. Recall the whistle's urgent
cry to return from the field too soon and
pulling warm hands back, while whispering in the ears of those
confident to hold their tongues. Now it is late night
debates and those whispers are ignored.
Spinning out, into the ditch,
wheels in motion without regard for direction
full speed ahead arriving at a permanent reprieve
from the creaking knees
and loose bowels of reproach.
It comes without warning, incredible is its speed,
and it will tempt even the most
guileless to race. The truck arrives hooked to pull
the twisted spokes and reveals the fuel stain
seeped into the cracks and crevices.
Smothering the gravitational pull of the earth’s core
and even then you will float, pulled by a chain.
p.s. you felt like that?
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1,560 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 1560 Newer› Newest»Oh for the days when G-Way couldn't actually sing,
haha, I thought it sounded better!
Hey, had anyone heard from our southern blog peeples? There've been some bad storms here in the U.S. OP's, you guys ok?
Matt's jiggling moobs are very hypnotic though
kass!!!
Oh for the days when G-Way couldn't actually sing,
haha, I thought it sounded better!
i just loved that performance!
and i hadn't heard of MCR back in 2003!
ooh that sounded rude??!!
sorry forgot to say hi PP! and anyone else.
gotta pop out!!
byee!
Good morning/afternoon/evening Mayo, SS, Kass, Possum, Dalai Lama, FASC, RW, good people of blog believe!
How are you all today? I hope you're all doing better than I am.
Mardi Gras officially KICKED MY BUTT this year. I feel as though I've been run over by a herd of reindeer! Every part of me hurts....
IT WAS GREAT, LOL!!!
Okay, I think I need to take some more extra strength Tylenol, guzzle down some more Pepto, soak in a hot apple cider vinegar and epsom salt bath (and won't I be smelling lovely) and sleep for the next 3 days!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To ponder today:
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
— Albert Schweitzer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a great day/night everyone!
I'll expect to see you ALL for Mardi Gras 2009! :D
Love and Hugs to all!
~Namaste~
Wendy
Hi to PP, Carrie, RW & Dalai Lama!
I haven't read the comments yet so I don't know what everyone's up to. Plus I'm high on Blackcurrant Lemsip and the after-effects of a Die Hard marathon (excl. 2) and a minor Night Nurse overdose last night, so I'm not quite compos mentis. Apparently the technical term is "Robo-dosing"!
Kass xx
Mayo,
'Morning, to ya! How are you today? Have you decided how it's gonna be yet? Me neither. I have a list of what seems like ten thousand things to do today and even my lists have lists. It seems like it would be easier to ball it up, throw it in the trash, and say fuck it. But, I will at least try to stay motivated enough to mark off a couple of the items. It would be more fun if the stuff on my list actually had to do with me and not everyfuckingobdy else. Oh well, oh well.....I Must remember to add myself to my list.
I'll get right on that....
Today is one of those days when I am crawling in my own skin. I just want to tear it all away and start over. Do you ever feel that way?
Mayo, I hope your day finds you holding a list of things you can't wait to do. Are you on there anywhere? Numbers 1-5? Sweeeeeeet!
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. I'll be too busy to think about anything else.
Morning Carrie and Sdock!
WELCOME BACK MISS T!!!
Has our PIXIE come back as well?
I'm trying to catch up a bit before I pass out.
;P
Okay, getting in the bath for real with my secret tea and secret cigarettes.
My favorite secret song at the moment?
(Though nothing will ever now top Ed Alleyne-Johnson. Moment of silence for that Musical Gift from God)
March of the Pigs, NIN
God bless you, oh most Wonderful and Retarded Trent Reznor.
Hi 616 & GV,
I love Trent Reznor!! My current NIN fave is Meet Your Master Remix (With The Faint), but long term nothing holds a candle to Together or Wish or Head, the list goes on...
Are you currently more gentle or vengeant?
Kass xx
*pounces on Kass and smothers her with kisses, because I haven't seen her in two whole days*
I love Trent Reznor too!! He used to live in NOLA and was always willing to help the homeless critters of the city :)
He also helped out after Katrina.
What a sweet nut he is!!!!
Trent shines the spotlight on NOLA
Hi GV!
Hi 616, Carrie and GV!
fanmom @5.13pm
I've heard the same as the other replies you received regarding inspiration for Frank learning guitar.
Maybe your daughter could watch Billie Joe play in the Good Riddance video for some chord changes technique, or if there is a music channel icon over the hands, try this live performance of Good Riddance for some inspiration.
It sounds like she is very keen to learn and loves her music. That's fantastic.
Okay night all.
(Headache from hell tapdancing behind my eyes, and at revoltingly squiffy stage)
House, come and save me! I'm seeing sound with my eyes!
Not really ^_^
(episode 2, 'House' girls)
*waves night to all*
Back from the secret bath.
I'm glad to see so much love Mr. Reznor! Poor taurus that he is....
I am feeling gently wacky at the moment, Kass.
Hello Pickled Possum, Wendy!
However, I am going to take my leave and hang out at the porch. Don't want to litter too much on Pseudo-Gerard's grounds.
PP, thank you for the video. How did you know that Green Day is another of her favorites? I think it will be a great inspiration to her even though she is a beginner.
Hi Fanmom,
Everybody loves Green Day, possibly excluding George W. Bush, ergo your daughter must love Green Day!
*Kass desperately ducks to avoid kisses, but concedes defeat upon realisation that they're indeed cheek-seeking missiles*
Can I ask any of you guys a question, re: the blog?
Kass xx
Morning Blog Family,
well what a way to wake up, 6 inches of snow. No school. Help me I'm trapped in the house with them. LOL
Hi Elena,
I like to wake up to a good 6 inches.
Lucky girl, you!
Kass xx
Kass I was so gonna make a comment like that but after my goodnight to Mayo I thought I better take it down a notch!!
Crap I need to go knock snow off the satellite dish.
Give me some sun. I need heat!!!
Well we have sun & blue sky here, but sadly I'm stuck in the office and, after I go home in a bit, I'll be cuddled up in bed with some more lovely drugs in a vain attempt to get rid of my cold by 8pm tonight. Either way, I'm in no position to appreciate the good weather.
Kass xx
Kass
Sorry to hear you're feeling under the weather (weather talk again)
Get better soon!
Can I borrow your sun? I really need it.
Cheer Kass up, Frankie will.
Hey everyone! Hey Kass, you have a way with snark that I admire. Just wanted you to know. ^_^ And, are we loving Ton Trent today? I NIN-spammed the end of the last post when I'd found out that some of the folks here hadn't heard some of their best songs. :D
Anonymous said...
clinton won't put a cap on women's rights,
The slaughter of innocent babies. I thought you were the one against killing,or is that logic, only for animals?
I don't consider embryos babies. If you would like to continue this conversation you can email me at kapunua at yahoo dot com. or are you too cowardly to stand up for your beliefs while you're actually signed in?
And another thing: "women's rights" do NOT end at the right to choose. Open your eyes.
The Dalai Lama said:
In autumn, one leaf falls, then another, then all the beautiful flowers die until we are surrounded by bare, naked plants. We do not feel joyful.
I actually do. I love autumn. The sight of bare plants and fallen leaves, the smell of fires, the tinge of mold from the sudden chill and dampness, the hush of night when the frogs aren't singing anymore. Mmmm, I love that. It makes me feel cozy and excited for the coming holiday. It inspires me.
Well, have a pleasant day, BlogBelieve. :D
Please know, Anon, that you are not guaranteed a mature discussion with Kapunua. Especially considering she can't even help from insulting you while trying to get you to e-mail her.
And guys, HIT THE PORCH. I have a feeling that some of you who might want to be involved in something are missing these messages.
Also she has to stick up for abortion because she's probably had five of them. Wait, that would mean that a guy would ever fuck her. So I guess I was wrong.
What does Kapunua mean? It means 'she's bitter because she's too ugly and bitchy to get a man'......
ANON shut up. Really just shut up.
I don't know why I say those things. Maybe because I'm high. Kapunua is a beautiful girl and I really just want to kiss her but I can't, so instead I lash out at her.
Alie, Tifaunie.... whatever your name is. why don't you just leave once and for all?
Awww, this Anon is especially adorable!
I love your grammar. So sensuous.
Elena, have you heard from the punks? Are they ok? I was surfing around blogs and it sounded like they were on a farewell tour or something. And I'm getting a ton of snow too, but I'm not trapped with rats yet, that will probably be tomorrow.
Carrie I got an e-mail from them yesterday. Other than not feeling all that well at the moment they seemed okay. They said they are going to send me a longer e-mail today so I hope all is well. I do miss when they're not here.
thanks, Elena. I was just worried because of all the big storms and stuff too, and couldn't remember exactly in which state they lived. Heck, I have trouble remembering which country everyone is from!
I'm just tired of you all kissing Kapunua's ass. You all pretend to like her.....But think about when ws the last time she even offered her support to any of you who was in pain or suffering. No, she never does. She never comments on other peoples blogs. She never says "I hope you're OK" unless you are part of her SPECIAL group of friends, the AIM chat people. Everyone else can go fuck themselves is that right? Unless its MAYO and then she wants HIS attention. yeah she always talks to Mayo, doesn't she? And you all kiss her ass anyway. Stand up to her!
Just saying a little hello before running off.
I'm sick, there's a snow storm outside and I have to work till 11pm. BLEH
Have a lovely day!
Not everyone kisses her ass.
ANON you really are focused on Kapunua aren't you? Perhaps you should find something else to worry about. Go on, think. I'm sure you can come up with something else. Give it a try.
Hi and bye, Magic Pie!
MOST of you do.
Anonymous:
Never underestimate the lasting impact your words can have on another human being. Words are incredibly powerful - they have the power to influence, encourage, transform, inspire, guide, create, destroy, hurt, heal, forgive and redeem.
Be deaf to those that try and hurt you with vile and vicious words.
The people here that inhabit this place are so much bigger than you are.
LA LA LA LA LA--I cannot hear you, I am hiding in my safe place (but not on my way to the hospital)
Carrie:
I'm hiding with my eyes shut tight.
But, like you, NOT on my way to the hospital.
Maybe they should take their mask off and leave the lies to the liars?
Yes?
;)
Hee, I was gonna say my eyes were shut tight, but then how would I have typed it? :)
lurky mclurker is going to come in and tickle you with his rhythm stick if your not careful
oh lord woudnt that be funny.
lurky mclurker is going to come in and tickle you with his rhythm stick if your not careful
He's gonna tickle with what? O_O
Sorry, I couldn't help it. I'm still a dirty blonde. ^_^
Yeah, Fim?
With his what?
Rhythm Stick--now added to the Mayo Dictionary.
omg you are both dirty, i should of known.
havnt you heard of the rythm stick? i probably misspelled it but have you heard of it?
or is it just in my head?
Are you talking 'bout a drum stick?
Like, you know, what drummers would use to, like, bang?
Is that what you mean by rhythm stick, 'cause I'm not so sure that's what you mean ;)
(At first I was seeing LMcL walking around with feather duster, tickling everybody. That's hell of a sight. ;)
lol, splash it can be anythign you want it to be. but i was hearing the song in my head and thought it sounded deathly. rhythm stick is a drum stick i think. that you bang ermmm princess do not even say anything remotely dirty. i am watchign you!!!!!!!
Like, you know, what drummers would use to, like, bang?
O_o
I swear to God, I don't know what's wrong with me. ^_~
Well, Fim. Now my question is this:
How would one go about tickling someone with a almost always wooden, semi-pointy thing?
I would think this would cause harm to the individual on the receiving end of the rhythm stick.
Fimble, we love you immensely for your saucy wit.
We love you more because of your "innocence." ;)
Oh, damn.
That question read horribly.
But, you totally know what I mean.
to right for the innocence.
dont think to hard about it splash. just understand that lurky mclurker can tickle anyone with his rhythm stick and his words of wisdom.
You know, this is sounding even more dirty the deeper we get. O_O
Ok, I'll stop now.
Gotta go eat!
Love ya!
XOXO,
S&V20
bye princess, save a bite for us (wat of tho? inteesting)
so splash, have you ever been tickled by a rhythm stick? hahahaha ok i am messing i will not go there.
Anyone in the mood for somo Toro Love?
'Cause we gotta remove ourselves from this subject immediately.
Subject is dropped.
See you fine specimens later!!!
ok subject dropped, no more rhythem stick talk, but you know he so would.
nice toro picture, can you find a nice stevie g pic for me? bet you cant.
i am going to feed tornado now so i will be on later and will be expecting my gerrard picture.
For the Dirty Bird!
Now, I'm outta here!
Bye Fams, Mayo, SS and your supposed Rhythm Stick!
Party Hard!
Hi everyone :)
What's todays subject?
XP
xoxo cupcake
I admire Ray Toro. I think that he's got da MAD skillz yo. Back in the 90's, it was like, guitar rock needed to die. It was old and, it couldn't remember what it had just said and kept repeating itself. Kurt Cobain put it out of its misery. It needed to die.
Then come the '00s and it was time for it to be reborn as a whole different animal, and it happened thanks to Ray Toro.
And uhh yeah, he is beautiful, too. I said it, 'kay. But I refuse to fangirl. ^_^
Hey guys, howzit? I was over at my cousin's most of the morning chatting with her and playing with Boychild. Now Havoc is out and about making a mess of things.
I'm going to try to finish my project and they perhaps kill some more zombies!
About twelve thousand kinds of pills mixed together killed Heath Ledger.
When are doctors going to learn that this stuff kills people? I mean seriously, were all of those pills necessary? Can part of the blame be put on doctors who prescribe these pills like prescriptions were going out of style?
When things like this happen I always wonder why no one in these people's immediate sphere stepped in, but then on the other hand, most people know how to hide how many pills (or other drugs) they are taking. They downplay it. You really can't blame the people who were close to the victim, you can't. If you can, then you have to blame everybody.
But I do kinda blame the doctors, and an entire society that thinks that everything can be fixed with enough pills.
Kapunua, good to 'see' you on my way out the door.
Hope you're keeping well.
As for medications... meh, I've done away with all but the extremely necessary.
I've tried taking combinations of meds and it really is nothing but trouble.
Keep it simple I say, avoid tragedy.
Well bye bye Mayo, bloggers, and so on.
I'll be back...
(FYI that was said in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent)
xoxo cupcake
Hello all.
So taoda at work we were talking about how cool it would have been if Yoda did trash talk. This is how it went....
Fucker mother you are.
Balls must Yoda kick yours.
Pussy you are.
It's silly. but we had fun
MJ!
Oh my goodness! That is funny!
Bye Cupcake!
Kapunua,
You ain't killed all those zombies yet?
Hey S&V how are you?
I'm cool. Just waiting on the storms to arrive.
They are making their way here. Probably by five o'clock it will be on and poppin'.
How are you?
Mayo,
First of all, thank you for providing a place where we can all come to talk to each other, to support and care for each other, and to form what has become surprisingly deep friendships.
We hear you, we hear each other.
But lately I have wondered...
Do you really hear us?
Five months is a long time, and I can see how the novelty might wear off, the shiny, if you will. These things happen. Hell, I know how I am, a Gemini is always changing lanes.
Have we said anything that has helped you, that has touched you or even hurt you?
You will always be special to us. You know that. And I am sincere when I say I thank you and love you.
I just wanted to ask.
SS,
Did you ever find Love, Hope and The Unknown? It's not well known, but worth reading.
Family,
We are fine, except I have some kind of crud, sinus infection I think, and I feel like crap. J. is not feeling her best at the moment either. But we will be back when we feel better, we wouldn't leave you. We love you guys, and I know you know that.
But again, nice to hear, and nice to tell.
Its all about the love,
L. (and J., from the couch)
I'm well. I heard there were some storms down south. Will you and SD be alright?
Hello J&L. Glad to know you are still around. Get better soon.
Hopefull, MJ!
Maybe it won't get too bad.
hi guys. just a brief pop in!
poor heath ledger.
great the used lyrics speak!
SS's rhythm stick!!! *coughs*
OPs i'm glad you weren't effected by the storms, sorry you both feel low though.
hi/bye K, MIB,fim,cupcake!
MJ your yoda chat was very funny!!
ray torro has a very kissable mouth!
ok guys england football match on the telly so i'm gonna sit with mr bloke and my pint of lager and watch us lose!! fuck no! i hope not anyway! its only a friendly but when we lose the tabloids are complete c**ts about it, sometimes deservedly but hey!
love you princess!
if i missed anyone else please feel free to insult me next time we meet!
Thank you for liking my Yoda speak guys.
On heath ledger I don't blame the doctors for prescribing the maledictions.
People just don't about the side effects of medication or what might happen if you mix them.
e Doctors fault.
It also isn't the fault of the doctors that people want to pop pills to fix every thing.
The HMOs will only pay for the cheapest fix and that usually is pills. So the doctors are left only being able to give pills.
Than there are the drug companies that push the pills. It wasn't like that when the drug companies couldn't advertise.
Last we have the people who demand the medication they want and if they don't get it there will be hell to pay.
Yes doctor are at fault sometimes. But in this case I think it was heath ledger who is at fault.
We don't know how many doctors he was seeing. Those medications could have come from more than one doctor.
I admire Ray Toro. I think that he's got da MAD skillz yo[...] Kurt Cobain put it out of its misery. It needed to die.
Then come the '00s and it was time for it to be reborn as a whole different animal, and it happened thanks to Ray Toro.
And uhh yeah, he is beautiful, too. I said it, 'kay. But I refuse to fangirl. ^_^
Gosh, I couldn't take much out to make it shorter, but I agree with all of this times infinity squared.
Had it not been for Ray Toro, I would have not had the incentive to even purchase a guitar much less try to learn how to play the blasted thing.
He's one of the very few people I admire in music. There's a lot of people that can play the guitar, but only one that can play like that man. I believe him to be within the ranks of Hendrix, Clapton, Page, and all of the greats. I admire him a great deal.
And just to, I dunno, lay it out there, my intense respect will never cross the line into "fangirl-ism." All of you know that, and if you don't, now you do. The pictures I post of him, the sometimes off-the-wall comments (ala finger skillz) are never meant in a derogatory or degrading manner. The way I see it, this is the only way I can share that respect because of the like-minded people that reside here.
Wow, no more Toro-talk for the day. Who's turn is it next?!
I don't see anything wrong with fan girling. It just it can't be the only reason for liking someone.
Everyone has fantasies about people.
Even the guys in MCR. I'm sure they have don't some dirty talk about people they find attractive.
Anyway we are sexual beings.
RE: Heath Ledger
First of all, it's still such a sad shame that he passed and especially under the circumstanced.
I mean seriously, were all of those pills necessary?
Well, I dunno. One was an anti-depressant, a really powerful pain killer, and two sleeping pills? And I guess it all falls back on how they were prescribed. Were they legal, as in, did his doctor prescribe them for him? If the doctor did, would they not have come with specific dosage instructions?
Can part of the blame be put on doctors who prescribe these pills like prescriptions were going out of style?
I do fear that doctors sometimes take the "easy" way out. "Here. Take two of these and call me in the morning" type of thing. It would be nice if doctors would try to eleviate a person's ailments by trying other techniques before they decide to invade the body with chemicals.
But, honestly, we really don't know all of the details. Was it even accidental? What if he knew what he was doing? What if he knew it was going to kill him? It's just a really crappy thing.
Awwww, Mustard. I love Ray, too. I think he's super-talented.
Just for the record, my husband thinks Bob is the most talented guy. He is soooooo impressed by him. Can we call that "fanboyism"?
He'd kill me if he knew I said that. ^_~
Again, I totally understand you, Mustard. I talk about Frank alot but you guys know it's the guys passion, talent and spirit that impress me so much. He's the coolest dude. ^_^
Thanks, Smoke :)
Gimme just a second.
Well Heath Ledger had just come back from overseas right.
So more than one doctor may have prescribed the medications.
Also people have a habit of taking more medication when they feel that it is not working. So maybe he took the anti depression to relax himself and it didn't work so he took the sleeping pills.
IN ADMIRATION:
The boys and their respective instruments.
Bob. Just Bob.
Notice the intensity of The Holy Terror.
Concentration: Since the third grade. Man.
Insert what you'd like to here.
I swear Bob looks like a little boy
He does, MJ! A blue-eyed lil' boy.
And might I go on to add that they are ALL HIGHLY UNDERRATED ARTISTS.
I wish people that hated MCR would recognize their contributions to this art.
I can't wait to get home so I can see the pics!
Damn firewalls! GRRRR!!!
Bob does look like a little boy. So does Frank.
I bet Frank was one of those little boys that could get in trouble and give you one smile or giggle and you'd forget all about it. Kind of like LHM does me now. >_<
One little flash of those big blue eyes and I melt. Little punk.
They are underrated. I believe they are all very, very talented.
Ray is the man with the plan. ^_^
Secrets? Anonymous secrets? Anyone? I'll start signed in. If anyone else wants to play, come on anonymously and tell one.
Secret (though not anymore): I think about this place, and you lot, more than I should. Like during work.
Secret:
This is strangely hot.
Oh my God, MY EYES!!!
Secret:
Everyone else's guilty pleasure was my reason for being.
What the hell? You know how to catch someone off guard don't you, K?
I'll have to ponder on that for a bit.
See you guys in a little while!
XOXO,
S&V20
hey guys!
so england won 2-1!! hurray!
that last g way pic was lovely! one of my favs.
can't stop! torchwood then bed, wish i could stay but sadly no.
love to all and that includes mayo and SS!
and mayo man in the tower.....i want inspiration in your post tonight (if you do??!!) please. i need something inspirational ok?!
bye guys!
See ya later, Smoke!
LOL at me totally defeating the purpose of secret.
I have no real secrets.
That was the biggest one.
And dammit, I'll sign my name to it because I'm unashamed.
I think more men should have more sex... with each other.
secret:
I hate myself.
really I do, I'm fucked up and sad. Have been for a very long time but i mask it well.
5:08, I think we all feel like that sometimes. The question is, do you feel like that ALL of the time? Do you know why you hate yourself? Anyway, I'm sorry you feel like that. If you're here, we probably like you. ^_^
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I think more men should have more sex... with each other.
Shoot son, everyone knows that. That's not even a real secret. ;D
I miss her so much.
I can't believe she actually remembered my name.
I think about her every single day. I'd give anything just to be able to speak to her once more.
I wonder if she misses me too. If she thinks about me. It's been months. She will never know how much she means to me and it fucking kills me. I just want to talk to her. I can't.
The saddest part is, she's probably going to read this. She'll never even think it's about her.
To her:
I remember the first words you ever said to me. I want to call you out by name, and pour my heart out to you. The only place I can do that is here, in front of everyone. But what if you miss it?
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I promise.
Gosh, 5:18, that's awesome and beautiful! Why don't you say something to her? Why can't you? You'd give anything to speak to her again? Then just, you know, speak to her! You don't have to give anything.
I get that you're sad about whatever happened, but you still have an opportunity, don't you? Good luck to you.
5:18 i like your secret.
It's funny you never know how your words can affect someone.
After seeing that photo I wonder if Mayo is Bert. If so we now know what under garment he chose
Secret
I want to slice my arm open and feel better. The pain, the adrenaline, the rush, the euphoria.
And tomorrow, I will want to do it all over again.
And yes Mib my eyes as well. It's all fine and dandy up top and than you scroll down to your doom.
Thank you, but please understand this.
My entire heart and soul would go into that one comment. What if nothing is to be returned? It will be ignored, pushed aside, and forgotten in mere days.
That will destroy me.
But isn't it better to know? I mean, you don't have anything to lose other than what you don't already have, right?
Aside from hope I guess, but what use is hope if it's in vain anyway? You know?
5:35, that's a very serious thing you're talking about there. I hope you're not going to continue going that route, and that you will talk to someone. I mean, aside from us. We can listen, but we can't actually help you.
Anon you may have to name the person. So that they know. That way your special person will think about it and wonder who you are and it won't be forgotten.
also I don'tbelieve it will be completely forgotten. We will move on but it will pop back in our heads from time to time.
I honestly do not know just how much help I can be today. I'm drained. I will try my very best though.
Anonymous @ 5:06-
Let's work on getting gay marriage passed and all that goes with it. Everyone deserves to be loved no matter their orientation.
Anonymous @ 5:08-
There are days I feel like this. Sometimes it can go for a week or more. And I tend to mask it with a smile, albeit fake, but a smile nonetheless. I'm here to support you. Maybe I can think of something funny to say and put a sliver of a rainbow in your life. I can't make it all better, but I can try to help.
Anonymous @ 5:18 and 5:36-
You say she won't understand and won't know, but what if she does? You are both very lucky to have each other, and I'm sure you're both very aware of that.
If you can't make her see it with your words, show her with your heart.
Anonymous @ 5:35-
Please don't continue to hurt yourself. I can't give you any other advice than to see a professional about your situation. There must be other ways to garner that euphoria than to damage your self, physically and emotionally.
I'm thinking about you.
Hi All!
*blows a kiss to Mayo*
How is everyone doing?
Secrets? Fuck, I tell you guys everything I don't know if I have any good ones left.
Hello Anons, kapu, mib and sd10.
SD10 is all well in your neck of the woods?
MJ,
How are you today?
The weather you mean? It has just started to rain here. I don't think we will get any of that bad stuff.
In my life you mean? It's exactly the same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before that...
MY SECRET: I am pretty sure I am clinically depressed and I'm fairly certain that I'm not going to do anything about it.
Niiiiiiiiiice!
I'm well sd.
About your life, as long as it isn't getting any worse i guess that is good.
The weather, I'm glad it won't be to bad.
Your secret. You have us to talk to at least. And that is better than not talking at all.
And a good pair of ears maybe all you need right now.
sd10
I don't think you are clinically depressed. You appear to have great insight into how your life is at the present time. It is unlikely that you would be have this insight and ability to communicate at such high level if you had untreated clinical depression.
Anon
I have a good friend who cuts himself. He is the most intelligent person I know, he is funny and very handsome. He has 2 beautiful children and a fab girlfriend. He has clinical depression.He says he does it just to feel. I hope all goes well with you.
sd10
I don't think you are clinically depressed. You appear to have great insight into how your life is at the present time. It is unlikely that you would be have this insight and ability to communicate at such high level if you had untreated clinical depression.
Anon
I have a good friend who cuts himself. He is the most intelligent person I know, he is funny and very handsome. He has 2 beautiful children and a fab girlfriend. He has clinical depression.He says he does it just to feel. I hope all goes well with you.
Anon,
Thanks. I've never been diagnosed or not diagnosed with anything. I hate doctors.
MJ,
You're right about having all of you here to listen to me. It means more than you all realize.
Another Secret: I wish I had someone missing me like the the anon was talking about. I wish I meant that much to someone. But more than that, I wish I would believe that I could mean that much to someone.
I should stop playing the secrets game. I get carried away.
Why do you feel the need to help everyone, 47?
Sdock:
Maybe you aren't depressed like everyone else said. Maybe you just have a honed-in sense of your feelings.
Maybe that makes it more powerful causing you to feel it more.
That's what I like to believe anyway.
Your other secret? Yeah. Wow. Seems like the rope was a destined thing.
Anonymous @ 6:15-
Let your friend know we're thinking about him and his beautiful family. It hurts to know that people do that, but I can understand the need to just feel. I just wish there was another way.
MJ and Kapunua:
You both rock. You're both great friends and advice givers.
Anonymous @ 6:24-
I don't understand the 47 part. To whom are you addressing your question?
My secret is I am in love with my friend who cuts himself. We even planned to go away together. I backed out because of his children-I would have hated to have been left as a child and I could not inflict it on them.
Thank you MIB
SD10 My secret is the same as your second one.
Solly, I wish I was that person, too, who was missed like that. ^_^ That would be cool. Anon who is missing someone and can't say it to her, that person you are missing is lucky. ^_^
Splash, just *hugs* ^_^
47 is the time.
I'm watching a really good show called Taboo. They are talking about gender.
The first story they did was about a kar-toy I think that is how it is spell.
Basically transgender. Who gain respect for herself and other kar toys by fighting in a hyper masculine sport before becoming a woman.
Than they talked about cultures in the south pacific where some of the boys were made to be woman by their family.
I wish I knew when this was coming on again I want to tape it.
MJ,
I'm glad you understand me.
Mustard, You're right. I guess the rope was destiny.
This page is getting kind of tough to load. I might disappear soon.
I wonder if everyone sometimes feels like that. Do you think everyone wants to be missed?
Like, this may be weird, but my mind wanders. I sometimes wonder how things would happen day to day if I weren't here. Would people notice? Would people see an empty chair? Would the person I'm talking to on the phone still call anyway? Mostly I just think about how the world would be different.
Anyone else ever think about that?
Being dense here Anon @ 6:40, but is "47" me? I don't want to mistakingly answer someone else's question.
MIB
Due to a health condition (non visable) I expect to have have less than a normal life span. I purposefully chose not to have any children (chance they may inherit condition)because I really don't want to be missed when I'm gone. I know that feeling of desertion and devestation when a close loved one dies and I would not want to take the chance of leaving close loved ones early.
I am a realist.
I have trouble conversing with people because I'm tired of pretending to care about what anyone has to say. People expect me to be 'on', so I am... but as soon as I have some time alone, I am empty again.
I'm such a fake.
SD that is the thing about this place. Here I have found a lot of people who feel like I do. I believe that is why I can't walk away.
That knowing that there are other people who have my fears, dreams and feelings is very reassuring.
Mib I have wonder that as well.
Anon in love with your friend. That must have been a hard choice.
I hope you did what is right for you.
Mustard,
Of course we all think about it and of course we would be missed by certain people, but then life would go on and eventually we'd barely be a memory to someone. Someone would come along and take our place in the world. Fill our roles.
Significantly Insignificant.
SD that is the thing about this place. Here I have found a lot of people who feel like I do. I believe that is why I can't walk away.
That knowing that there are other people who have my fears, dreams and feelings is very reassuring.
Agreed. But then, sometimes it's just hard for me to stay here because I feel such a connection that it scares me.
6:50 your not a fake. Trying to be there for others can be very draining. Maybe you just need to take some me time.
Find something that makes you feel happy and do that for a little bit.
Hello Ph
It is scary sometimes. but it's worth it.
Anon,
We all put on our best fake face. We all pretend to be something we're not. I am especially good at faking myself out.
Weather is getting kind of rough, you guys.
Errrr......
You're right MJ, it is worth it.
Sdock, I hope you stay safe.
Anonymous @ 6:49-
First of all, I'm deeply sorry that you have such a condition. Try your hardest to remain healthy by doing daily activities that will help your body. I firmly believe that we can prolong our own lives just by being body-smart.
Secondly, I completely understand where you're coming from. You don't want to see others hurt because of you. But, also, don't let that stop you from doing things and saying things and loving and caring while you're here. Don't let that feeling hinder the love you show to others.
Anonymous @ 6:50-
Been there. That's why I've withdrawn from the very few friends I have. They don't get it and I don't even know what 'it' is. And because they don't, they don't get me. I feel so far removed from that, and I don't really care. But, as you say, when you're inside your head again and you have time to inventory, you miss that. Whatever that is.
MJ:
That knowing that there are other people who have my fears, dreams and feelings is very reassuring.
Absolutely. You just said it all.
ph,
189898384 kazakillion hugs for you!
How are yoU?
Sdock, 216548373680743687436874 trillion hugs to you too!
I am alright. Really tired. How are you today?
:)
Things are really deep in here right now but I'm going to ask something.
Are MCR going to be on the Grammies?
And why?
"47" Anonymous:
In the event your question was directed at me, which I'm assuming it was unless you were talking to "babyanon," I'll answer you with this.
Because I like to see others happy. When they're happy, that makes me happy. If I have the ability to say something that may get them there, or make them okay for a little bit, or help them in some way, I feel that it's my duty as a human to try.
I know I don't always help, but I keep with it.
Secret
I betrayed the trust of a friend. I am not proud of what I did, but I certainly don't regret it.
MJ, I don't think so.
MJ:
They are not scheduled to appear as a performer.
Who knows if Gerard will be there to accept his if by chance he does win.
Thank you, MIB. You are so sweet.
I am also tha Anon with the friend who cuts himself.
Although you would imagine that we would be a miserable pair we actually have alot of(sometimes a danger of too much)fun together.
Life is good right now. Am having lots of laughs and eating lots of fruit as its 'flu season! I have tried to remain rational about it all, afterall I could get knocked down crossing the road on any day.
I have a job I love along with great friends. It makes me sad though when I see people who really appear to have it all-health is way more valuable than anything else-not live to full potential.
I am off to dinner now. Take care everybody. Have a great evening.
Anon at 7:11 I get the feeling that it must have been for their own good. At least I hope.
Goodnight anon 7:14.
Thank you guys for your answers.
^^ my deleted comment.
Anonymous, have a great night. I feel horrible that I didn't have any words to offer. :(
I'm off as well.
Byee guys<3
Goodnight PH
OOOOOOOOOOOH my power flicked off 2 times!
Where is MissT?
Do you have flashlights Sd?
Where is bikey
Secret:
Although I love you all, I know none of you would miss me if I stopped commenting.
Paperheart
Please don't feel horrible about not having anything to say about my predicament.
You of all people bring so much sweetness to this blog.
I hope your exams went well and tha tyou are gonna be a big rock star very soon.
Breathtaking hug to you. x
Am definately off now.
Why don't you stop commenting and see if you are right?
Is this anonymous confession time?
FUCK YOU 7:40
7:37 there is no way for you to know that. There are a lot of people who have come and gone that I think about. But given the way things move in here I can't always say their names.
I live in fear of both sex and rape because of what I am pretty sure happened to me when I was seven years old. Consequently I have only had sex a few times and all were nerve-wracking experiences. Now I try to avoid it and make excuses not to get involved.
Hello RW
7:40 that was uncalled for.
Anon at 7:37--I know how you feel. I've purposely stayed away, and nobody noticed.
Yes, anonymous confessions. ^_^
6:49, that is probably the hardest, bravest decision to make. I'm very sorry. Are they any alternative treatments for whatever it is that you have? Have you explored all possibilities? Even so, that's very hard.
7:37, I think we all feel like that once in a while. But when you feel like that, you should go out into meatspace, walk, breathe, live. I love it here, too, because of the awesome and faceted people we all are. But also, it's just the internet. There's so than just us. Although I'm sure we would miss you, too.
7:44 have you talked to a professional about your problem.
I know that one bad experience can ruin sex. But it doesn't have to be that way.
Hi MJ, K, anons, lurkers, anyone on right now that I may have missed :)
Goodnight, PH. Sweet dreams to the Master ;)
Anon @ 7:37-
You are most definitely incorrect. You would be missed. So, please don't go away.
Anon @ 7:44-
I can't imagine the toll that's taken on you. And I wish that you didn't feel like you couldn't "get involved." But, I've not ever been put in the situation you are in, so I don't know how it feels. Try to remain strong, okay? Don't stop talking about it because that will be the best thing you can do for yourself.
Anon @ 7:45-
I wish you didn't feel like that. I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't missed. But, also realize that Mayo's is a revolving door and people are in and out of here at all times of the day. Please don't stay away though.
What's wrong? I wasn't being mean. I just meant if you stop commenting you may be proved wrong and find people actually ask about you and say they miss you, then you will know how much you are missed. You might find you are not giving people enough credit.
You are making an assumption. You will never know unless you stop commenting. Try it and see what happens.
Ok, I'm back.
Hello once again!
Anyone know where MissT is?
Hey RW and Jules and MJ and Mustard and Anons and All who are here and all who aren't!
anon at 7:47 I'm sorry you feel that way. But I do think about people who have disappeared. I don't always get to say it but I do think about them.
Lh
mp
silence
gel
jade
bh13
sis m
ab
I know there are others but I can't think of them off the top of my head right now.
Heya Sdock! :D
Welcome back, Sdock!
And I'll take this time to say hello as well, so...
Hello Kapunua, MJ, RW, various Anons., Mayo, and SS!
Has anyone seen BC around? Her blog is down.
Hey-ho, Mustard! :D
7:54 I am sorry. with all the nasty things said to us by some anons it isn't easy to know when a comment is made to hurt or not.
Hello sd
MJ,
I agree with everything you just said. People come and go here and I don't always get to talk and connect with each and every person but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about them or that they haven't made an impact on my life.
Martha Jones said...
7:44 have you talked to a professional about your problem.
No. Because having to look at someone with the words leaving my mouth would make me feel too weak. It's not going to happen. But thank you for your concern.
Speaking of people who haven't been here.
Has anyone talked to Siobhan or pixie. I don't think pixie has been here in a long time.
7:54
You're right. I am assuming. I can't really know. How long do I wait to find out? One day? Two? A week? Until Mayo himself asks about me? What if I try it, and no one cares? I'm not one of the people that rarely comments. What if I stop and none of you notices?
I'm too afraid to risk it.
And your reply? That was like a shove off the cliff.
8:06 your welcome. How about a hot line. That way it would be someone with better training than us and you wouldn't have to look at them.
MJ:
That's an excellent suggestion. Maybe the Anonymous will consider that.
Thanks MJ. I've resigned myself to it though. It's not so bad, I just wanted to get it off my chest.
Guys my power went off again!!!
I'm sorry to keep popping in and out like this, but I think I'm about to write my note to Mayo and be off for the night.
If I keep this up, my computer will be toast.
This SUCKS!
8:08 you must remember that we aren't all in the same time zone. It seems that by the time I get here so much has happen and there are people our that it seems I never get to talk to.
Well now all your talk of not being notice has made me thing about the people I haven't talked to in a while.
Aip and tma haven't been around lately. I don't think Jen either
A shove off the cliff? I'm sorry. It appears I mistakenly thought you were someone who would appreciate practical suggestions that may actually help you, increase your self esteem and rid you of what may be an unfounded fear.
I understand your reaction. The best advice is usually the hardest to hear.
Anonymous:
I hope that talking about it and getting it off your chest was a little bit helpful. Take care of yourself, okay?
Welcome back again, Sdock!
8:17 well as long as you got it off your chest. That is the first step.
If you want to talk my blog is
http://jonein4martha.blogspot.com/
Right now it is private.
I don't have any thoughts to post so drop me a note and my email is on my profile.
hey guys, i see it is secret time again.
my secret - i am a very boring ugly person. i am not the slightest bit interesting and i have nothing to say. most of the times i never know what to say in here and in life because my shyness and self insecurities over take the real me, when i actually know who that is. i wish for someone to like me for me, for someone to be interested in me. i wish i was clever and knew what i wanted in life. but most of all i wish i was someone other than myself.
wow, i let it out so i am going to stay away for a while. i feel nekid. all the people who told secrets well done. you are brave and hopefully everything will be ok.
take care everyone, i will be watching.
xx
hey guys, i see it is secret time again.
my secret -
She is a saucy little knicker-stealing nutter!
There now, FS, don't you feel better now you've admitted it? :D
Hey everyone.
Hi there CTV! :)
Don't stay away, FS :(
Fimble,
I love you! Do you know how often the Princess and I talk about you and how we want to go to Daytona and hang out with you? I think you are a fabulous person.
MJ,
Yeah, this is making me think of all the people I have missed.
Hi CTV!!!
*crosses fingers that power doesn't go off again*
Fimble:
Girl, you are anything but boring and ugly. You are among all of the intelligent people in this place. You're witty, funny, and caring. And you have more strength than I could ever imagine having.
I worry about you because of the harsh things that are said at Mayo's. I worry that that hurts you even when you say that it doesn't. You're strong to take those insults with such grace and move on.
I hope one day that the real you will shine, because the real you is awesome. And I hope people will see what we see in you.
Your heart is completely innocent. Your brain on the other hand...;) We ♥ you, Fim.
Hello RW. How've you been, dear?
Mustard, Sdock. Hope you guys are doing well.
Hello CTV and FS.
FS I believe you are interesting. you don't seem shy to me at all either.
Hey CTV!!!
You feeling any better about your tests? I hope so :)
Anonymous folks who feel left out:
If anything, you have made us realize that we truly value everyone here.
I'm well, CTV, though surrounded by snow!
How are you today?
SD sometimes I think there is a curse at Mayo's that makes all our computers act up.
I don't feel left out.
I wasn't looking for advice.
I was expressing a fear I have anonymously. Maybe I hoped for a little reassurance. Maybe I shouldn't have given in to the temptation of anonymous secrets.
I'm sorry if I have annoyed anyone.
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