Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Out of context.

I smile when I am nervous. It is an uncontrollable reflex. The fight-or-flight response or my somatic nervous system responding to what I deem invasive. I try to cover up this tic, but by looking away that smirk rats me out. My reply discredited. I can be sold out in a twitch.

A friend suggested that the reason I am often misunderstood could be found in my aloof manner. The way I seem to pay closer attention to a hangnail or dry cuticles than expeditious lips or explicative eyes. It could be presumed that I am not listening. I explained to my friend that this distraction is the reason I can hear.

The corrective measures we employ to keep the world at bay often betray us. We all have our quirks or sharp edges. Our mechanical walls shield us from intrusion, but we are still left feeling the stick, hopeful that the slip remains undetected. And you are right; there is always more to it than the bright lights and poor judgment...set the dial to allow just enough to filter past to maintain focus. Does this mean we are blind? No, but sometimes we are caught off guard. And I do not presume this of anyone…other than myself, of course.

Ghost, thank you.


p.s. the wrong falsehood has been assumed although either way it was a good start.

2,086 comments:

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resurrected wreck said...

Going to give my mum a call. Be back later :)

JocelynHolly said...

I'll see you later RW. Thanks a ton.
<3

Original Punk J said...

Gotcha, Paperheart.

I will add it on the list, but someone else has got to go get it.

Maybe we can get Mayo or SS to go this time.

Or do you think they would make it back? I can't imagine either of them venturing down the tampon aisle.

L.

elena said...

Anima where did you go?

ergoproxy said...

my one addition to the list

cheese- lots of it especially brie and a nice creamy soft blue

Anonymous said...

We need:

Tubs and tubs of cookie dough
Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream (all flavors)
Chips
Colas
Chocolate in every form
A few boxes of Kleenex
Comfy pajamas
A stack of chick-flicks


Anything else?!

JocelynHolly said...

I can see SS going to get the tampons for us. In his amaaaazing underwear/super hero attire and riding around on the shopping cart.

ergoproxy said...

well snap RW I have my Mum on the phone too!

back soon all

resurrected wreck said...

Please add to the grocery list:

Old Dutch Salt & Vinegar potato chips

Iced tea mix

Ta! :D

*squeezes PH, 'cause she wants to*

resurrected wreck said...

I can see SS going to get the tampons for us. In his amaaaazing underwear/super hero attire and riding around on the shopping cart.

And giggling to himself.

Original Punk J said...

Hmmm, well, we'll need the staples

Bread
Milk
Butter
Olive oil
Veggies
Tofu
Fruit
Animal Crackers
Dip for chips
More coffee
Creamer
Sugar
Tea
Even More Coffee
More cheese for Ergo

Anything else?

L.

JocelynHolly said...

RW, Old Dutch chips are the best! Much better than Lays!

*squeezes RW back*

elena said...

Oh please add White Castle hamburgers to the list. I love those little buggers. We had White Castles here but they went out of business. Now I can only get the frozen ones.

Original Punk J said...

resurrected wreck said...
I can see SS going to get the tampons for us. In his amaaaazing underwear/super hero attire and riding around on the shopping cart.

And giggling to himself.

February 9, 2008 9:30 PM

Then I'm adding Premysn and pads. He can at least get them on the same aisle!

L.

JocelynHolly said...

I can see SS going to get the tampons for us. In his amaaaazing underwear/super hero attire and riding around on the shopping cart.

And giggling to himself.


And crashing into a stack of toilet paper.

Original Punk J said...

Cool, Elena. And oh, how about those big frozen pretzels?

And I forgot eggs. Got to have eggs.

L.

sdock10 said...

PPU,

You know how I feel about you. I don't have to shout it any place. You know it. Sometimes it just makes me feel a little better if I tell you because I never get to talk to you anymore. I never want you to think that I don't miss your words.

Okay...pain. Physical or mental? Do you have bones that ache or does your heart ache? Or neither. I just want you to be okay.



Hi all that I have missed since I was washing the filth off my body!!

Original Punk J said...

"And crashing into a stack of toilet paper."

That is the funniest image, Bubbles. And he can get us some while he's picking them up. That and napkins and papertowels.

L.

Smoke said...

PPU! How dare you. You know there's nothing but love in this little black heart. ^_~

I'll smack you for that.

TONY IS AMAAAAAYYYZZZING!!!

Original Punk J said...

Oh, man, if I don't add Tab to that list J. will smack me. What colas do the rest of you want?

L.

sdock10 said...

Hot Sauce
Banana Peppers
Excedrin Migraine
Coca Cola
Cottage Cheese
Coconut Ice Cream Bars


That's what I am adding to the list!

Original Punk J said...

Got it SDock!

L.

JocelynHolly said...

That is the funniest image, Bubbles. And he can get us some while he's picking them up. That and napkins and papertowels.

lol! =] He'd have to get the papertowels with ducks on them!

Smoke said...

Old Dutch Salt & Vinegar potato chips

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

PPU, I'll make you eat them, too.

JocelynHolly said...

COKE ZERO!!!

=D

ergoproxy said...

ok I ahven't actually gotten the phone yet

tinned tomatoes
garlic
pasta
mince
lamb
spinach
sweet corn
potatoes
cream
tissues
bread mix

Smoke said...

What about carrots and strawberries?

I can't live without carrots.

And pickles.

Gotta have pickles.

We got pickles??? O_O

Get me some pickles!

And lemonade.

Ok, I'll stop now. If you haven't noticed, I'm a sweet and sour kind of girl. ^_^

toujours said...

wasabi peas, please.






and, hello. :)

ergoproxy said...

ginger beer
oreos
mentos
chocolate frogs
dark chocolate
bread rolls
oven baked beer batter french fries

JocelynHolly said...

Hey Toujours!


A bottle of vodka and Orange Juice


And some shot glasses.

=]

ergoproxy said...

oh yes TJ ,must have...

and butter
flour
whole grain mustard
mayonnaise
avocado
sweet chilli sauce
bananas

-stiull waiting to get the phone

gnothi seauton said...

RW - Yes, I meant the butterfly clip. Hope it arrives soon. And you can have my hair anyday!

Ergo - smoko? Thats cool!!

Right, I'm off for the night. All I need on the list is tea. Catch you all soon.

Good night all.
Good night Mayo.

TTFN

JocelynHolly said...

Ooh ketchup, fries, and mayonnaise is a must!

Did I say chicken already?

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
elena said...

oh strawberry crush

and pickled pigs feet. (I'm totally serious I love them)

JocelynHolly said...

Gnothi, thank you for everything. Through it all, know that...






























I'm still watching you.

=]
<3

toujours said...

hi paperheartxx! *big ol' hug*

hi ergo.:)

um, also, a huge bag of rice cracker mix.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Mangoes

mango lemonade


Frozen Mexican food

resurrected wreck said...

Anything else?

L.


More coffee.

Anonymous said...

I am okay, Sdock. Thank you for caring.

Vinegar chips sound absolutely disgusting, S&M.

Are you girls going to be on the blogs late tonight?

JocelynHolly said...

RW, Agreed!

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JocelynHolly said...

PPU, care to add some stuff to the list?

=D

anima said...

I'm still reading...

but oh my, I love your grocery lists. And PH, that is too funny about SS. I agree!

Elena, random thing....I still need to comment you back about my husband's paranoia...ummm if MCR comes to the midwest soon and you and I go to the concert together, he will seriously think I've hooked up with some crazy dude on the internet. I can't wait!

*Goes back to reading....

ergoproxy said...

S&M is that salt and viegar chips/crisps or vinegar on hot chips?

resurrected wreck said...

Old Dutch potato chips rock!! Especially the ones in the boxes.

JocelynHolly said...

Anima, lol.
=]

ergoproxy said...

S&V strike that i saw the original comment

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JocelynHolly said...

Especially the ones in the boxes.

FINALLY someone agrees with me!

^_^

ergoproxy said...

I don't kkow Old Dutch - I love BBQ Smiths chips

resurrected wreck said...

ummm if MCR comes to the midwest soon and you and I go to the concert together, he will seriously think I've hooked up with some crazy dude on the internet. I can't wait!

That's what GS's daughter worried about when we made plans to meet each other in London, that I was sone crazy guy in disguise ;P

JocelynHolly said...

I am off for the night.

SS, if you do go get me tampons, please, don't get the super ones. My mom tends to do that, and it's a little uncomfortable. ^_^

I'll talk to you all later.

You all helped soo much, and made me smile and forget about the world.

PPU, I like talking to you. Except, I think that you need to talk more. *blushes*

Sweet dreams to all!
<3

sdock10 said...

PPU,

Yeah, for a little while longer. At least til my headache subsides.

How bout you?

I left a note for you at my house.

Vinegar and Salt chips are the BESTEST! You must try some.

resurrected wreck said...

Especially the ones in the boxes.

FINALLY someone agrees with me!

^_^


There's nothing like them! I always stock up on them whenever I'm back out west.

toujours said...

random announcement:

tonight it's modest mouse. and this is my favorite bit at the moment:

someday you will die somehow and some things gonna steal you carbon. someday you will die and somehow some thing or someone steals your carbon. someday you will die and somehow you will figure out how often...something will die and you are going to steal its carbon. somehow and somewhere you're gonna lose your carbon.

just...the sound of it all and the music and the words...

it's gooood.

resurrected wreck said...

Vinegar chips sound absolutely disgusting, S&M.

That's Old Dutch Salt & Vinegar chips, PPU - they are the food of the gods!

elena said...

Anima I totally hope they do come so we could go to a concert together. My husband would make some crack about going with one of my "make-believe" friends.

resurrected wreck said...

Have a good night, PH :)

*squeeze*

ergoproxy said...

PH have you told him if you want an applicator or not?

I would pay to see him puzzling over all the brands and types!

then the pads!!
wings/ no wings it's like you need an aeronautical degree!

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
toujours said...

good night paperheartxx. :)

ergoproxy said...

goodnight PH!
*hug*

Original Punk J said...

PH, I added NOT THE SUPER KIND to the tampon type.

Also added food for the babies.

L.

toujours said...

damn. with the size of that list, they better be planning on taking the blogbelieve suv.

Anonymous said...

My Dad just spoke to my sister for the first time in twenty seven years. ^__^ And maybe I'll give her a call tomorrow if I can work up the nerve.

He also called my brother Gary and they talked for the first time in about ten years. Gary decided he wants to come visit sometime this summer, too.

sdock10 said...

UH OH!

Did Jr. just beat Tony Stewart?


Better get the Princess some good tissues to wipe her tears.

SONOFAFUCKINGBITCH! MY HEAD HURTS! BOOM BOOM BOOM!

Anonymous said...

Oh, and NO to super tampons. If I wanted that kinda thing I'd go sit on a telephone pole.

And why does "unicorn food" crack me up? I feel random and giddy tonight.

Anonymous said...

Thank you PPU. You know what for.

resurrected wreck said...

If we have cat food on the grocery list, can we add cats?

resurrected wreck said...

Oh, and NO to super tampons. If I wanted that kinda thing I'd go sit on a telephone pole.

0_0

Original Punk J said...

I'm thinking Mayo and SS both should go since the list is getting kinda big.

Gummy Bears have now been added too.

Kapunua,
Got anything to add to the list?

L.

Original Punk J said...

RW, NOT TO EAT!! :)

J. has two cats in her room. Along with Sparkle the sheep. I have two bunnies.

Oh, we have to add hot dogs for SIM!

L.

resurrected wreck said...

I need someone to recommend some Bouncing Souls songs to me. I haven't heard their music yet.
What songs should I not miss?

Original Punk J said...

Oh, RW, definitly For All the Unheard!

Also,

I Like Your Mom
East Coast Fuck You
Better Things
The Gold Song
Lean on Sheena
True Believers
Private Radio

Pretty much all of The Gold Album!

L.

Smoke said...

Kapunua said...
Oh, and NO to super tampons. If I wanted that kinda thing I'd go sit on a telephone pole.


O_O

K,

You crack me up.

Jr Anon,

If you happen to be lurking over here, I left a message for you at DM.

Well,

Jackass is giving me a guilt trip. See you guys tomorrow!

Love ya!!!

XOXO,
S&V20

anima said...

PH, you are so very lucky. I'm sure our fellow 'men' on the blog would rather close their ears, but I'm a super kind of gal and it sucks big time. I got maybe 2 hours at best. *my poor hubby - he doesn't want to hear about it either, but such as my life*

RW, I will have a lot to explain to him when Elena and I meet up. I totally understand where you are coming from.... And Elena, well, maybe just 'trust me, she's not some wacked out dude on the internet, I SWEAR!' will work, but I'm not sure. He will just have to deal with it. I still think we should get some special spot close to the stage, why? Not sure, but I am so scared of the teenagers. I really am.

*still catching up.

Anonymous said...

Baaaa baaa baaa baaaaaa

translation:
"can I have some lucerne please and some sheep munchies"

*bounds in and sheep kisses everyone*

*hopes Mayo and SS don't forget her*

*is wearing a very nice purple satin tutu in honour of the unicorn*

Original Punk J said...

Night, Princess!

Love,
L.

anima said...

P.S. Regarding teenagers, the exception is PH, she totally rules. And all of your teenage daughters too. I can handle that...

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Punk J said...

There you go, Shaunette. Added to the list!

Mayo, sorry for the deleted comments. That's just me updating the list.

L.

Original Punk J said...

And on that note, I am going to go to bed. It's so good to be back on here with you guys. I missed you!

If anyone wants anything added to the list, just leave it and I'll update it tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, Mayo, SS, make sure you add your stuff to the list too.

Love,
L.

elena said...

anima - say it with me "the Pit". We want to be in the pit. It's so much fun. I loved it. Don't worry I'll protect you. All 5 feet of me! I may be strong but I'm fierce.

Original Punk J said...

Mayo,

Just a short note tonight. Hope you are doing well, and yes, I know now you DO listen.

Thank you.

Sweet dreams to you, sweetheart.

Love,
L.

resurrected wreck said...

RW, NOT TO EAT!! :)

Of course not! To pet!

0_0

Anonymous said...

Can I tell you a bit about that? Does anyone mind? I hope not.

I met my sister once, it was at one of my cousin's parties. This was back in '80, I was eight years old. Until that night I didn't even know I had siblings. They were so estranged from my Da (thanks to their poisonous mother--yes, she is the one who just died; I didn't mention at the time that she was an untreated paranoid schizophrenic, at least according to my eldest brother,) that my parents had decided not to tell me they existed, just in case they were never in my life. They didn't want me to wonder and wish and never know them. Actually, they were so estranged that one night, long before that evening, my brother and sister had gotten into a car accident and my Dad pulled over to help them, and didn't find out until years later that it was his own kids he had helped.

I know that's so weird, but it's true.

Anyway, this was right before my baby cousin Christina died of leukemia and it would be the last time the entire family was ever in the same room together. My mother took me into the bathroom and told me, away from everyone else, SURPRISE! You have that sister you always wanted. Also, two brothers. This confused the hell out of me because I already knew how babies were made and I was positive my Mom hadn't had any others aside from me; she was too young. (My Dad is older than my Mom by about 23 years or so.)

Well, that night I got to meet them and they were such a surprise to me. A bunch of striking adults with shiny, reddish hair. I freaked out so hard that I spent the rest of the night running in circles around my aunt's house, breathless and laughing. I thought my sister was fabulous, with her long red hair and lots of makeup. I clung to her so much that she burned me with her cigarette. (I think she was high on something that night.)

But my brother James and I, we really connected. Not only did we share the same birthday twenty six years apart, we just had a similar way of thinking. Even though I was eight and he was a full grown adult, married and all, he just got me. None of my cousins from that side of the family ever really did.

That night as we were leaving the party my brother James hugged my Dad and said to him, "Please be careful going home tonight. I just got you back in my life and I dont' want to lose you. So just be careful."

On the way home from the party I fell asleep in the back of the car. (Over 20's: Remember when you could do that? There were no car seats or seatbelt laws. You could ride up front in the middle, sitting on the arm rest if you wanted, or you could fall asleep till you rolled off the seat and into the well. Right?) I remember the dream I was having. It was that my Grandma's dog Tara, a whippet who was my favorite out of all her dogs, had gotten hit by a car and was stuck onto one of the tires. Then I kinda remember hearing the glass and metal and brakes, but mostly I remember my Mom screaming "Jesus Christ, what are you doing?!" That startled me because I'd always been told in school that you couldn't say "Jesus Christ," and my Mom never had. I don't know what I saw in the interim or if I was hiding my eyes or whatever, but the next thing i remember wa my Dad getting into the car with his face all bloody, one of his eyes bleeding. Then I remember my Mom saying that he had glass stuck in his back.

What had happened was that there'd been a car accident and one of the cars was on fire. My Dad had got out of the car to get the woman out of the burning car. (Off duty cop, you know, he had to do something, but I suspect that even if he hadn't been a cop he would have anyway.) He was carrying her away from the car when a truck or something like that hit another car that had stopped to let him pass, but drove that car into my Dad and the woman he was helping. It knocked them both a good distance into the road.

The worst of it was that my Dad busted his knee really badly, injured his eye, and, like my Mom said, had glass stuck all in his back. He actually drove himself to the hospital afterwards, too.

It wasn't too long after that, I think, that Christina died and you know how it is with big families, everyone gets together when someone dies.

But no one heard from Donna after that. Actually I think my Dad did. I think he called her a few times after all of that, but she wasn't interested in talking ot him, or her Mom would get mad at her when she did or something.

See, my Mom's going to read all of this and later on correct me on the details.

Anyway, the only one who really kept visiting and calling was my brother James. (If you scroll down here you can see a pic of us sitting together. The entry is in December but the pic was taken at our birthday party at my folks' house.) I guess everyone else had kidn of written Donna off because she was so unreachable. I mean aside from the drugs (which I think she has mostly given up by now,) she was just really, really troubled.

But according to both my brothers she has at least gotten her life into some semblance of order, is taking her mother's death reasonably well, and was happy to hear from our father.

I wonder if she'd be happy to hear from me? She probably doesn't even remember me. I mean, she knows who I am and all and she asked my Dad about me and stuff. What it really comes down to is I'm not sure I have the nerve to call her. It's so weird. I want to, but i have to work up the nerve.

Well, that's one of the many oddball family legends I've got. One day I'm going to tell the Birthday Tangle. That'll make your heads spin. :D

Thank you again for letting me sound off. ^_^

elena said...

Anima that was supposed to be I'm small but fierce. I'm not very strong but I suppose I could be if I had to protect you from teens. I have lots of practice in that department.

resurrected wreck said...

Pretty much all of The Gold Album!

L.


Cheers, L! :D

How about Pencey Prep & Leathermouth songs?

Original Punk J said...

SS,

Once upon a time there was a sweet, kind frog who came to BlogBelieve. He was only passing through, but when he noticed the interesting and crazy ladies who inhabited BlogBelieve, he decided to make it part of his home, too.

The Ladies welcomed him with open arms, and look forward to his visits whenever he has the time.

Hope the sweet, kind frog is having a good night, and taking care of himself. Sweet dreams.

Love,
L.

P.S. J. says "Goodnight, Precious."

Anonymous said...

No wonder You are so fucked up Kapu. Or did you make that story up? Did those people really die. It doesn't seem likely.

anima said...

"All 5 feet of me! I may be strong but I'm fierce."

Yikes, I only have 4 more inches to add to you! I'm totally strong in a pit, but only with people who know what it is all about. I've never ventured out into the 'new' version. Is there a new version? I'm a weirdo. I know you will protect me Elena. It will be fantastic! I just don't want to punch some kid by accident...did I just say that?!

K, I'm still catching up. I'm not ignoring your story...I still need to read the whole thing. It sounds really heartwrenching; not sure if it is, but just my initial thought.

Goodnight Princess! Sdock did you leave too? I may have missed that...

elena said...

Night L

Kapunua thank you for sharing that story.

I have to go for a bit but I shall return!

resurrected wreck said...

I was waiting for a bitter anon to piss on our party. And here s/he is!

Pull up a chair and have a drinkie! Or have you had something already?

toujours said...

kapunua, don't wait to work up your nerve. just sidestep it altogether and just call.

no matter what the conversation turns out to be like, you'll be glad afterwards that you got in touch with her.

just call.

anima said...

Anon at 10:45, well I'm not feeling so nice tonight, so fuck off. Thanks.

resurrected wreck said...

Gonna head off for a bit. Dinner is ready, and I need to call my mum back (she was on the phone with her brother when I called the first time).

Have a good one! :)

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

How are you tonight? I hope you are doing well. Me? Dude, I have the motherfucker of all headaches. Seriously.

I had a nice long comment planned in my head for you. I was going to tell you all about my chinese dinner last night. I am sorry, but I just can't. My head is pounding!! I will put it away and save it for a later date.

Just wanted to drop you a note and say goodnight. I hope your Saturday was a good one.

Mayo, if you need us, we're here. Just thought that needed repeating tonight.

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. I know you do.

Fimble Star said...

i cant be arsed with anone like you tonight. who the fuck do you think you are. i mean do you really think someone would make that up. you are one sick piece or shit and to be honest i dont know how you look in the mirror. where do you get off on being cruel and rude to people you do not actually know.

why dont you go and look up to people who shows respect to another human being. you make me sick and i so fucking pissed tonight that wat you say really is just the iceing on the fucking cake

why is it that everything is just urghhhhhhh fucked up.

goodbye

Anonymous said...

FIMBLE YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM THEY ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT OF GETTING PISSED OFF OVER

So ignoring the anon....


Kapunua make the call, worst she could say is that she doesn't want to know you, but you tried. A good friend who is adopted found her birth parents her dad was "thanks but no thanks" and her Mum was wonderful. She said she didn't expect anything and was so glad she contacted them both. She didn'
t feel bitter or anything to her dad, aknowledging it was his choice, and said if her mum had been the same she wouldn't have held it against her either, she just wanted to make that contact.

Anonymous said...

goodnight sdock, s&v , sleep well

Amyranth said...

*yawn*

Who's doing the grocery run now? What?

-A

Anonymous said...

hi amyranth I'm watching Most Haunted and folding clothes, how are you?

elena said...

I'm back has everyone gone?

Anonymous said...

KNOW THIS

You never are, nor will ever be ignored.

One's emotions are overwhelming her at this time

Amyranth said...

Affirmation Anon?

Wow, I'm kinda back and forth right now with laundry and fixing pants and now food.

-A

Anonymous said...

Present? ^_^

Mayo, tonight you are Marius. I don't know why, you just are.

Guys, thank you. You know, I think I will call my sister. Tomorrow though. Like, maybe I can get her answering machine and leave her my email address. But you know, I've wanted to actually meet her for so long. I know you're all right, I'll kick myself if I don't.

Thank you. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Mayo:

I'm just not sure how much I can handle this. It has nothing to do with you or any of the people here, but it has everything to do with me.

I'm emotionally drained. I have nothing left in my head, and it's numb. Add into that a lot of thinking that I've been doing lately, not listening to enough music, having people breathing down my neck in my life when really I just wish they would leave me be.

It's all suffocating me.

I feel like a failure here because I can't make the people hurting and suffering feel better. I try so hard, but I can't make it work. I have expended all of my energy. I feel like goo.

You had an Anonymous in here today. Not a mean one, but one we were, and still are, worried about. They helped me to make sense of something I've never been able to verbally express. And tonight, I'm feeling it more than ever. I hope they figure it out. I can't stand seeing anyone other than me feel the way they feel.

Mayo, I hope things are going well for you. I hope that you can make sense of things. If you figure out the answer, and none of this "every fourth word" crap, please fill us in. We're desperate.

Goodnight, dude. Sleep well.


SS:

Again, thank you for your visit last night. It amazes me that even though you're "cezy bizzy," you still take time to drop in. Thank you for doing that.

Stay safe, and please, stay out of trouble. :)

Goodnight.



Family:

Please forgive my distance. I don't know if you all feel it, but I feel it on my end. I don't mean to be, but you can see why.

Just keep everyone in your thoughts. Seems like we're all going through a rough patch right now.

With that said, I love you all, and I'll see you around.

Goodnight, you guys :)

anima said...

This is really long...I apologize ahead of time.

I think I am all caught up, even if it was inbetween some of my previous comments...I had to backtrack. I suck like that.

So...

This was so long ago, but worth repeating...Sdock said…A group of shy, eccentric, off center, messed up, insecure individuals. We're quirky. We're full of tics. We're fakers and coveruppers. We're smilers and smirkers. Nail biters and hair twirlers. Twitchers and can't sit stillers. Sunglass wearing and no eye contact making. We are the twisted, the mangled, and the broken.

This was said a couple days ago, but I found it to be so true...I had to requote it.

Martha asked: FireFox works on windows vista?

Martha, it should. I haven't tried it on my laptop, but I think it should work. I will be downloading it soon considering that I cannot get into photobucket. STILL! I will let you know how it goes.

Martha, you are a dragon? Me too, I think! Random, but fun.

Fim said…mayo - you suck. (eggs) I wish I could share my silly family story about this...just know that we have a crazy last name and somehow it made it into our family 'happy birthday' song. And it ends in 'suck egg' ... funny you mention that. :)


SIM said…Toujours my first kiss was with a girl named kelly when we were both 10. We were playing house and we ended up kissing. It was very sweet and innocent. But i knew from an early age i was interested by both sexes.

Interesting that you mentioned this...I thought I was the only one! I had a girlfriend that I did those same things with around 9 and 10 years old. Very sweet, but confusing. Thank you for sharing that...I totally relate.

Star, listening to 'Disintegration by The Cure'... I love that album more than I could explain.


Anon@3:46....I have finally reached acceptance. It is not as dark or as lonely as I imagined. Just empty.

I am so sorry you feel empty. Remember you cannot rely on someone else to fulfill you, but they do hold something for you that is unexplainable. Emptiness is not good and you should not accept it. It is never too late to walk away, do not settle...it is not worth it. I promise. But still look within yourself and wonder if this person is there for you and all the right reasons. I can't explain, but you will know it when it is there...but they are not your satifaction in life. They are a compliment in the areas in which you fail. They rise you up, and vice versa. Does that make sense? Let's explore this some more on another day.

RW, I wish I could see your nephew with his mom wearing matching headbands. Pics on my computer at home do not work. :(

K said...This is a weird little boy, I'm telling you. He's an old soul, to be sure.

That is so lovely. K, it’s strange to sense an old soul, but you all are truly meant to have this boy in your life. Amazing.

Miss T to DG…said Thanks for being such a great friend to me. I hope I am to you too.

You are, I know it! Never doubt that for a second.

K said There were no car seats or seatbelt laws. You could ride up front in the middle, sitting on the arm rest if you wanted, or you could fall asleep till you rolled off the seat and into the well. Right?

I remember when I used to lay in the back window(on the speakers) of my mom's bigass Buick. Funny that you mentioned the time w/out seatbelts. Strange times and so dangerous.

My brothers got into so many accidents growing up....finally seatbelts became a part of the car protocol.

See, my Mom's going to read all of this and later on correct me on the details.

K, does your mom ever comment? I would love for her to join in!

And I am so sorry to hear about your siblings' mom. I'm not sure what I want to say, but I can kinda understand the family with different father/mother thing. It can be complicated but just as painful. Difficult to explain. Thank you for sharing.

SS, it was great to hear from you. Life is so bizzy. We get it. Thanks for stopping by.

SIM, I am so happy you are back and so sorry to hear about your ordeal.

DG, still thinking of you.

anima said...

K, it sounds like 'Present' to me.

Hey Amyranth!

Mustard, I hear you loud and clear. You have such a huge heart. Find some room for yourself. I adore you, I really do... You speak so true. I wish the best in your studies. I know you will be where you want/need to be in 10 years...It's true just because.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Anima! No, my Mom never comments. Once she did, on Fim's blog. She comments on my LJ sometimes and signs off with "ME" but that's about it. She reads all of this though. ^_^

Splash, you have done so much. You're such a strong voice here. And you give a lot, to everyone. Sometimes though, you don't have to. Sometimes you need to keep some of that compassion for yourself. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, okay? Take some Splash time. FOLLOW YOUR BLISS. you deserve it.

Anonymous said...

Marius, I will wait up for a while. Will you? ^_^

anima said...

I guess I took too long to catch up... everyone is gone. :(

anima said...

Shit, but in a good way. K it's me and you. Who is Marius? I must have missed that. Damnit.

anima said...

K, my hubby has a half-brother and he is connected with his brother's mother because it was a part of his father's history. It is still a connection regardless if it a bit removed. The 'family' unity is not typical.

I want to say something poinant, but I got nothing.

I guess everyone is gone. Goodnight my loves. I seriously love you guys. Sweet dreams.

Anonymous said...

No poignancy needed, Anima. Just thank you for your words as always. And I owe you an email. Sorry but today is just a little crazy. Err, cezy. ^_^

Mayo is Marius tonight. He is always someone different to me. Sometimes he's Hannibal Lecter, sometimes Heero Yuy, once he was Jason Bourne, once Mr. Boddy from Clue, tonight he is Marius. It is what it is. ;)

resurrected wreck said...

I'm here, Anima!

Are you still around?

anima said...

Yay! I am so happy to know I'm not here alone. Well at least for the moment. And you do not owe me an email. I was just explaining some of my ramblings on IM, it's all crazy. You should not feel obligated to reply...I just wanted to make sure you got it.

Thanks for the Marius explaination. Silly Mayo, he is a man of many names...

resurrected wreck said...

Hiya Anima! :D

How has your weekend been?

Anonymous said...

Greetings and salutations!

Been hanging about the porch but nobody's there.

Before I collapse, I wished to say hello and pollute pseudo-Gerard's blog with my verbal phlegminess.

Anonymous said...

I'll get to it, or I'll catch you in chat. ^_^ Actually I owe a lot of emails and honestly? I could have written then at some point today, seriously. I just didn't feel up to sitting at the computer, and now I'm just bone*-tired.

Chillaxing, floating, killing zombies, you know how it is.

Remember that night I posted parts of Izumi's Monologue for Mayo? I have no idea why that popped into my head. Splash liked it. Weird night. ^_^
















*"Bone." hehee.

Anonymous said...

Oh, but pollute away, GV! :D

Anonymous said...

Marius as in from the Vampire Chronicles?

If that's what you refer to, Kapunua, that's quite an honor to bestow him.

Hello Anima and RW!

Anonymous said...

Now that you've given me permission to begin polluting his grounds, my minds instinctively wants to go naughty places. Oh my.

I know how it is to have a million emails to write but you're just not up to tying yourself to the keyboard.
Or at least to the formality of letter writing. I have been a horrible email friend as of late.

resurrected wreck said...

Hullo, GV! :D

resurrected wreck said...

Or at least to the formality of letter writing. I have been a horrible email friend as of late.

since getting email, I've been a horrible snail mail letter-writer :/ I've got a penpal that I've been writing to for 14 years. I finally met her when I was in England in November. But, I'm ashamed to say, I've owed her a letter for two years (!). We've emailed off and on, but she prefers written correspondence. I can't say I blame her, and I do intend to write, but I just can't seem to get myself to sit down with a pen & paper recently.

Anonymous said...

Oh gosh, no. I hate Anne Rice with like, the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. ^_^

Anonymous said...

Okay- striving to be anything but insightful or enlightened because I'm polluting an already bloated comment page.

I'm not wearing any underwear. To be honest, I often forget to put it on because no one's gonna see it so why not spend that four seconds obsessively looking at crap on my computer instead, or writing stories almost no one but myself ever sees.

Hmmm.... What else would be all awful to dump on the lawn. Better yet, that horrible beige carpet he has. Honestly, is there ANYONE who actually likes beige? I mean, I'll give beige a hug, everyone deserves hugs, but why is every home drowning in the damn shade? I think I used up my bitchiness quota for the month. Hmmm.... What else, what else....

Anonymous said...

Do not fear.
The dead are never dead.
To dream under dream I return,
looking out from this phantom.
My flickering shadow is not a cling to the world,
but a gaze from the twilight shade,
a firefly in the dense foliage of summer fields.
Let my words waft some fragrance for the souls
flying about like bats under the moon,
which is in the end an illusion.
Let my poetry be a lighthouse for the living,
who float in the dark sea, tangled in the weeds of desire.
For we all need it,
in this long night that further curses our fate,
as we pass into darkness from darkness.

As we pass from darkness into darkness,
Oh, moon from the mountain range,
Please shine some light on our path.

Kuraki yori
Kuraki michi ni zo
Irinu beki
Baruka ni terase
Yama no ba no tsuki


Please shine some light on our path,
Oh, words of poetry, seeds from the heart.

Anonymous said...

I figured it couldn't possibly have been that Marius you were referring to.

Will you look at that kitchen counter? I think I'll create a goodly mess making some scones. They leave flour EVERYWHERE.
(Is it obvious I really should be sleeping right now)

resurrected wreck said...

I'm not wearing any underwear.

0_0

Anonymous said...

That, Kapunua, was definitely not pollution. But actually quite a glorious accoutrement to the area.

RW, I used to have about seven or eight penpals when I was younger. Ireland, Greece, Sweden, Holland, Turkey. There was something so magickal about receiving a letter in the mail that email can't quite replace.

Anonymous said...

RW, that face is the best. I almost wonder if I'm staying up because according to pattern, pseudo-Gerard should be posting either tonight or tomorrow. I don't think he's ever gone longer than four days without posting.

No, I think I'm staying up because I'm in desperate need of social contact and my plans to go clubbing have been squashed by a complete lack of energy. I am literally keeping my head up with a container of dry roasted peanuts at the moment.

resurrected wreck said...

I had 32 penpals at one point, GV! I started writing to them in 1990. By 2005 I only had two left - one in England and one in Sweden. The Swedish one became a mom & her letters tapered off, but the English one still writes.

resurrected wreck said...

RW, that face is the best. I almost wonder if I'm staying up because according to pattern, pseudo-Gerard should be posting either tonight or tomorrow. I don't think he's ever gone longer than four days without posting.

Mayo used to be a Tuesday/Friday poster, but seems to have switched it to Wednesday/Sunday.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That's amazing! You just reminded me I actually had like ten more here in the U.S. My mom got these Victorian magazines that had a penpal section and I put an ad in once and all of these nice older women started writing me. Lots of fun.

resurrected wreck said...

The local Buy & Sell papers used to have a free ads section. One of the options was for international penpals. So for the price of a stamp you could place an ad in a large number of foreign papers. I had penpals all over Scandinavia, and in Britain, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Russia, New Zealand, Romania, Iceland, and west Africa.

Anonymous said...

hey agin I just watched Most Haunted and some psychic woman's show.

I used to have pen pals as a kid but we kind of fell out of the habit.

How are you GV ?

I wrote to Tj as I felt that getting a letter is much more sppecial than an email.I really like writing letters, plus you can do it anywhere you don't have to sit in front of a screen and I love additions and corrections on a real letter.

Anonymous said...

Ah, that's so cool!

Well, just look at what the internet has done. I think this blog only really has readers from three countries, but I've been to others where people from all over the world talk to each other all night long.

Okee, well, I hope all of you have a delicious morning. I will see all of you soon. Gonna go visit the porch, then off to bed.

Licking for everyone!

guntotingmaniac said...

I see the pattern.

anima said...

Hey GV, RW!

K, you amaze me. Why? Well, I'm sure you have your hands full with a ton of things and you are still worried about getting back to everyone regarding their emails. No worries sweetie...(a term of endearment)...you get to what you can get to. Don't bogg yourself down with it.

Anyhoo, I must go to bed after I clean up. I just broke a glass full of gatorade and the floor is super sticky...bummer.

Much love and many wishes for happiness to all of you. I will see you lovely ladies soon.

Anonymous said...

dammit, was about to get off but my favorite new stranger is here.

Hi, guntotingmaniac!

resurrected wreck said...

'Night, GV :D

resurrected wreck said...

Are you hanging around, GV?

resurrected wreck said...

'Night, Anima! Chat again soon :)

Anonymous said...

hi guntotingmaniac how are you?

Anonymous said...

goodnight anima be careful around where you broke the glass, I always find bits days later

resurrected wreck said...

Most Haunted, EP?? I love that show!

guntotingmaniac said...

Hello, ladies. Underwear-clad or not.

Anonymous said...

RW it was one with David Wells and Derek Acora- he got posessed again

in the Isle of Wight

anima said...

P.S. GTM, 'Machete'... have you seen the movie? Robert Rodriguez? Good stuff.

Goodnight everyone!

resurrected wreck said...

Hullo GTM :)

anima said...

Ergo, Rw, I'll be careful. I think I got it all up.

Love you!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'll stick around for a little bit. Friend just came on AIM so why the hell not.

Hello, Ergo! It's been at least a month since we've chatted.

So, guntotingmaniac, what draws you here?

For some reason, I get this vibe you're not female, though I may be very wrong.

I'm glad you're accepting of my underwearless-ness.

resurrected wreck said...

RW it was one with David Wells and Derek Acora- he got posessed again

in the Isle of Wight


I'm sure I've seen that eposide, but I can never remember by where they are, just by what happens to them while they're there.

A friend of mine and I went to see Derek Acorah speak when he came to Toronto a couple of years ago. You know, my friend and I were just discussing last night how we've met famous people before, including rock stars (I've met Gerard and Frank, she's met the singer from Placebo) that we admire, but the only person we ever nearly went fan girl over seeing was Derek Acorah! How funny is that??

Anonymous said...

yes GV nice to see you again, I have a great deal of grated cheese about the kitchen (7 kg of Romano to be specific)

How are you despite being sans knickers?

Anonymous said...

I had a friend with her neice who saw a kids show presenter and went more gaga than the kid (it's a classic aussie show been on since I was a kid)

Derek Acora always gets posessed, you can see it comijng and Yvette freaks. I love David Wells , that he gets scared and poor Stuart always gets picked on

Anonymous said...

mmmm, Romano.

I am doing fantastic actually, just tired. Really tired. Like, I really need to get to bed in the next ten minutes.

resurrected wreck said...

Ah, Stuart! Have you ever noticed how, when Stuart and Carl do a vigl together, something always happens? My friend and I call them the dynamic duo.

Did you know that Stuart and Yvette are cousins?

resurrected wreck said...

*vigl=vigil

guntotingmaniac said...

I am of the male species.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know that!

I always feel sorry for Stuart, he and Karl cop stuff or him alone, like the barrel in the brewery and then when the 2 of them were in like a hole.
They are braver than me!

Anonymous said...

GTM you do read like a male....so how's life treating you, as a member of the male species?

resurrected wreck said...

The male species, you say? However did you find your way to this place!

Anonymous said...

So strange how I could sense that off your simple answers, gtm.

I wish to ask more, but obviously you're an extremely guarded individual who didn't come here to divulge information about yourself.

resurrected wreck said...

I loved that episode when the barrel rolled on its own in the brewery! Did you see the one where three or four of the men were having a seance around a table, and Stuart took his fingers off the table for a moment, and when he went to put them back on it the table zoomed away from him? He handled it very well, all things considered!

Anonymous said...

I close my eyes:

I take your hand, kiss the middle of your open palm. I take a step closer to you, press my open palm on your heart, and feel the intensity of its' beats. I take your palm and place it on my heart, which is nearly bursting through my chest.

I look at your eyes, big, perspicacious, always exuding tenderness. My angel. I smile and caress your temple with my hand. I whisper... you...then I am brought back into reality by a voice that calls my name.

I dream too, it gives me comfort.

...maybe in another life.

Anonymous said...

oooh i just made a chocolate coffee milk drink.
It's a powder mix. mmmmmmmmm

RW it is a truly brave male who ventures into the realm of the lovelies!
hahahaha

guntotingmaniac said...

Friends.

Anonymous said...

aw broken hearted anon, you must really miss the one you dream of, do you feel it's unfair to the one you're with though?
I know I've done it and I have felt that way

resurrected wreck said...

Well, welcome, GTM. It's nice to have some testosterone around here!

Anonymous said...

Is that you, BC?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for answering a question, GTM.

Broken Heart Anon, sigh. I have known what that feels like. Aeons ago, I was capable of dreaming such things.

I no longer have the need to, but there is such a rich taste to unrequited longing, is there not?

Anonymous said...

RW I do remember that one!! and he got scratched that time, he takes it very well.

The one I just saw he tripped over a sofa side that had been untied by having a peg removed (he and Karl on vigil) and then the peg was thrown at the stairs one flight down

and he says "I think I don't want to be here now"

resurrected wreck said...

EP, did you see the eposide where they were on the haunted ship in the USA? Yvette and someone (can't remember who) were in one of the ships rooms throwing things down the dark length of the room & asking whatever spirt was in there with them to throw them back, and he did!

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

How odd that I fianlly have the time to come to Mayo's and FASC is no where to be see. I think I shall go mad 'till thursday.

Hello ladies -and gentlemen.

Ergo and Wreck -I have no clue what show you are talking about! Only one channel here.. Sounds interesting though.. ;p

Gv- I can't remeber if we've ever spoken? No panties? What about Cookie Monster, are you opposed to panites with his big blue face? My favorite pair.

You are rather simplistic in your thoughts on your blog Mr.Maniac. Have you nothing you want to say?

Broken Anon, I have been reading you for the past few nights. You upset me. I don't even know how to offer you advice. I hope you get a miracle.

Anonymous said...

I've done some really minor ghost hunting and general weirdness myself and it causes my eyes to cross thinking about how many hours and hours they have to tape to get a good half hour of ghosts doing stuff.

Ugh! Exhausts me to think about it.

Anonymous said...

RW yes I do! I love those typoe oof episodes, it was a bit of rope and coins wan't it?
I rememebr one where kids were throwing stuff back heaps of times, and another where it like rained gravel.

di you see the us ship one with the wet footprints at the empty pool?


GTM well it's nice to have you come visit.
Anything you'd like to chat about?

Anonymous said...

like the unrequited longing to know who the hell Mayo is?

Anonymous said...

Hello, lewishhasfallensloppydead.

No, I don't think we have met.

If I had underwear with the cookie monster on it, I would definitely remember to put it on in the morning.

This broken heart anon isn't new? Hmm. Feeling nosy. I shall spend a few moments scrolling up to see what else they have written.

Anonymous said...

HI Lewis FASC called in well last night (for me) and is off to Eurodisney for 5 days, back on Thursday

resurrected wreck said...

Most Haunted, Lewis. It ROCKS!

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:56 AM,

At first, the unrequited longing about Mayo was painful for various reasons which, if you've been around here for the past few days you'd know why it was so fucking painful to me.

Then, it was kinda torturous, mostly amusing.

Now honestly, I could care less. He is who he is. He's a bastard, a sneak, a liar. But a wonderful bastard who I love nonetheless.

resurrected wreck said...

I've done some really minor ghost hunting and general weirdness myself and it causes my eyes to cross thinking about how many hours and hours they have to tape to get a good half hour of ghosts doing stuff.

Have you? There's a paranormal society here in Toronto that I've been tempted to contact. I'd love to do some investigating.

resurrected wreck said...

RW yes I do! I love those typoe oof episodes, it was a bit of rope and coins wan't it?

Yep! The rope really surprised everybody, I think! How about the episode where they were on a ship (a different one, I think) and were checking out the empty pool where a ships passenger drowned. The pool had no water in it, but they noticed wet footprints leading from the inside of the pool up the ladder & onto the deck.

Anonymous said...

Investigating is fun, as long as you're aware that not everything you encounter is neutral or benevolent. Because even though I'm finally over my fear of ghosts, I still hate when you have the occasional one that will just start knocking shit over, etc.

resurrected wreck said...

di you see the us ship one with the wet footprints at the empty pool?

Ooops! Obviously I missed that part of your comment! Yes, that's the eposide i mean.

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Oh I knew that for a while Ergo ;P but thanks(was sweet of ya to tell me. I would have worried otherwise)! I guess I will have to make myself come out here at Mayo's more while she's off. I'm feeling all woeful lonely already!

Nice to meet you then Gv. Oh and if you scroll the Broken Hearted Anon is just lovely with their words. Moving and heartbreaking right back. Everyone had such wonderful advice and thoughts for him/her. I'm not so much a lover, so I have little to offer for solace. I hope whatever happens they come back. I like the way they 'speak.'

resurrected wreck said...

Because even though I'm finally over my fear of ghosts, I still hate when you have the occasional one that will just start knocking shit over, etc.

I can understand that. I'm not afraid of ghosts (I went to university ina haunted building & was often there alone at night), but I hate it when anything pops out at me or makes a sudden loud noise.

ergoproxy said...

You should call them RW it would be fascinating, I've been in some haunted places and in one there was a terrible feeling, cold and brooding, it was in the dressing room of an old theatre, people got pushed if they missed cues and stuff or whispered lines, one guy was a lighting tech and there late and he slept in the orchestra pit and woke up to every light in the whole place being on.
It's been knocked down now though, I hope the ghosts still haunt the mall there

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Oh shit Wreck! (Thanks for the link!) but if I watched that I wouldn't sleep ever again. My family has our own set of paranormals to deal with! (namely each other) ;p I thought you describing a sci-fi show! Now I could get down with that. Action/horror -sure. But straight up Honest to god creepies. Oh hells no!

Gv- you're desription of Gerard, are you sure that's not 'most men in general' you are describing?? XP Sure fit's the bill in my encounters! -No offense GTM, if you are still about (oh and Broken Anon, if you are male too).

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

I keep loosing letters in my words. How unfortunate. I hate typo's. I really do know how to spell! I swear! ;p

Anonymous said...

I was so confused for a sec. I was like, when did I describe Gerard?

But then I realized you were talking about Mayo. Yes, I suppose, that could be used to describe a good deal of the population. But, I love everybody so I guess my opinion doesn't count so much.

resurrected wreck said...

I'm telling you, EP, I don't think there's an old theatre in the world that doesn't have at least one active ghost. Performers never know when to turn it off, even when they're dead!

resurrected wreck said...

You're missing out, Lewis. It's a great show! But then I like all that creepy ghost shit ;)

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Ahh ha ha! Gv, I wish I could say oh pardon me I'm just high! But I think it is getting late for me! I thought You Were talking about Gerard! -Maybe I was just wishful thinking there! ;D Mayo's a bit of a shit sometimes too -so there, he can have that description for one of his moody cryptic days too!!

Anonymous said...

true RW very true

lewishasfallensloppydead said...

Well I do love action pop-up movies. So if the flick happens to have ghosts in it -so long as they are exploding!- then I can handle that. ;p I do love the history channel (of what I have seen). I like any bit of information, but if it's paranormal -during the day -And with all the lights, windows and nosie makers in the house on!

Ahh, just realized I am painting my nails (gray for Anti-Valentines Day) in a small confined space. A cubical-like area if you will. Thus hopefully excusing my previous folly! ;p

Anonymous said...

Before I go, I'm going to lick all of you.

But save the tackling for the Broken Hearted Anon.

Yay, my big butt saves everyone from bruisin' and bones from breakin' again!

resurrected wreck said...

Before I go, I'm going to lick all of you.

^ ^
0_0

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