I smile when I am nervous. It is an uncontrollable reflex. The fight-or-flight response or my somatic nervous system responding to what I deem invasive. I try to cover up this tic, but by looking away that smirk rats me out. My reply discredited. I can be sold out in a twitch.
A friend suggested that the reason I am often misunderstood could be found in my aloof manner. The way I seem to pay closer attention to a hangnail or dry cuticles than expeditious lips or explicative eyes. It could be presumed that I am not listening. I explained to my friend that this distraction is the reason I can hear.
The corrective measures we employ to keep the world at bay often betray us. We all have our quirks or sharp edges. Our mechanical walls shield us from intrusion, but we are still left feeling the stick, hopeful that the slip remains undetected. And you are right; there is always more to it than the bright lights and poor judgment...set the dial to allow just enough to filter past to maintain focus. Does this mean we are blind? No, but sometimes we are caught off guard. And I do not presume this of anyone…other than myself, of course.
Ghost, thank you.
p.s. the wrong falsehood has been assumed although either way it was a good start.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
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2,086 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1001 – 1200 of 2086 Newer› Newest»goodnight SIM see you next time!
J very true, love means you feel loss much more keenly
good night, shame in me. er...i meant, good morning! :)
OPJ, did you and L get over that sinus infection?
-A
amyranth I hope New York is ready for you!!
Amy, you make it sound like we just had one and shared it back and forth...
I'm still getting over mine, and L's just getting started with hers. She went to the dr this AM and got antibiotics, so she'll feel better in a few days.
It takes me forever to get rid of any illness b/c of the diabetes. Usually I'll keep a sinus infection for about 2-3 months. :P
J
OPJ, cold trading is a common occurance here in the wilds of Northern Canada. In fact, it was ALMOST declared the National Past Time in 1883, but lost out to Lacrosse.
Also, the plural form of Moose is Moose. Sorry.
-A
Sorry I disappeared for a while, my internet doesn't like me tonight for some reason. Anyway, no I'm not the in love anon, just the opposite in fact.
Shame in me, I love Blue October too. A friend of mine introduced me to them about a month ago and I've been listening to them ever since.
This is another song I love lots (the video isn't bad either ♥), All I Ever Needed
There you lay and here I stand
He knelt down on his knees and took her by the hand
We seen some good times been through some bad
But somewhere between the laughter and the tears
We sure had a lot of great years, she said
We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold onto
All I ever needed was you
Was you.
Remember our first dance, our first kiss
I pictured my life with you to be just like this
You stood by me, I stand by you
We share the laughter joy and pain
But it's a moment like this I hope it never ends
(chorus)
We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone, just you there as i grow old
Your heart to hold onto,
All I ever needed was you
Share my life with you, girl
I thank you for sharing your life with me
For giving me a reason to believe
For loving me for who i am
(chorus)
We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone, just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold onto,
All I ever needed
All I ever needed was you
You’re all I ever needed.
Ergo, you make it sound like I'm going to have sex WITH New York, not IN New York.
-A
Oops, I forgot to add a name to avoid confusion.
Amyranth you say in ....i say with.... XD
damn more than one anon is confusing!
but good lyrics not-in-love-anon
I can't stay and play with you lovely ladies tonight -am cutting out hearts for littles! So very quickly: Off the top of my head -so don't mock!!
My(current)fave love songs:
You Take My Breath Away, Love of My Life, The Prophet Song(not so romantic-but inspiring) By Queen.
This is The Best Day Ever,( I guess this would be rough lovin'!), Ghost of You, I Don't Love You(dispite it's self!) By MCR.
I Put A Spell on You,Black is The Color of My True Loves Hair, Love Me or Leave Me, By Nina Simome.
In The Absence of The Sun,(more angsty)By Duncan Sheik.
Nothing Else Matters, By Metallica.
Both Sides Now, By Joni Mitchell.
Crash, By Dave Mathews Band.
Most anything by Andrea Bocelli!
Oh -and LOVIN'(muhwah)
songs:
Take Our Time, If I Was Your Girlfriend, Sumethin' Wicked...By TLC
Most songs off Res' debut album.
Wandering Star, Numb, Roads, Glory Box, By Portishead.
Basically the entire 'The Saint' soundtrack. Classic and alternative rock is good for the lovin' and my fave styles too boot! Throw in some (middle) The Used and TBP MCR for kinky agressive fun and I'm set!
Alrighty! I could bombard ya with my music crap but I have to post and run! I hope you are well and enjoying yourselves! Hope to catch up with you guys soon!
Mayo I hope you are feeling more understood tonight, and Ss I hope you are still Froggie Mis-understanding the meanies! ;P
Much<333 -l
not-in-love-anon you read my mind!!!
I'm off to shower and cook my fish dinner!BBQ fish - yummmmm
so I'll be back later to say goodnight to mayo but night
J Amyranth TJ anons
stay safe everyone
*kisses*
♥
oh hi Lewis nice song selection!!
have a nice night
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters...
Good night.
Amy, you Canadians, you're a zesty, frisky lot, you are. But you're not actually Canadian, are you? THEY'RE a zesty, frisky lot.
Moose = Moose
My uncle and aunt deal with moose in their yard all the time. They live in Alaska. From what I hear, they're stupid fuckers, them moose. They often wander onto railroad tracks thinking the train whistle is a mating call from another moose.
I assume these would be the male moose.
J
see ya ergo.
i don't know how you guys can come up with all these love songs. my mind just blanks. i know 'em when i hear 'em, but i guess i don't have a room in my brain for cataloging them. :/
Mayo
Damn I just can’t seem to break the silly tradition I have of saying goodnight to you.
(Okay I just sat looking at that sentence for ten minutes wondering what to write next)
I have so many things right now I should be doing and damn it I just can’t make myself start. Every have one of those days? You know you need to do shit but you just end up shaking your head thinking well, maybe later I’ll get to that. I’ve done lots of head shaking today but at least I’m still alive. Wait, you have no idea what I’m talking about cause I deleted that. Well hell, doesn’t matter. I’m the Queen of Randomness anyway. (Just go with it dude, really). I’m totally used to people just nodding their heads when I talk while they pretend to understand. The whole “not dead” thing? Not important. Wait, that’s not to say me not being dead isn’t important. I’m glad I’m not pushing up daisies. Crap, I just wondered off topic again. Never mind!
So what does my extreme tiredness mean to you? Not a damn thing. Well yeah it means you don’t have to scroll through one of my ridiculously long goodnight. See silver lining! Mayo scores!! (Okay I so had a remark for that but I’m just too tired)
Goodnight Mayo
From very tired and uninspired
Elena
Hey SS
I really wish my brain would come up with something witty to say to you. Hell, I wish my brain would come up with complete sentences about now. Let me just say I think you are one of the best people I know. (And I don’t ever really know you so that makes you extra special). Yeah, feel free to just shake your head and pretend I’m making sense. It’s all-good. Take care
good night redrum, sweet dreams to you. :)
Male Anything isn't exactly smart.
And yes, I'm indeed Canadian, born and raised.
Also, frozen and not warming up.
-A
Goodnight Ergo, Redrum, Lewis!
How many anons are we up to? Two? At least you've both been nice. Well, one of you is always nice, but there you are.
I think I'm going to have to abandon ship myself, it's 3 am ("...I must be lonely...") (matchbox twenty reference there). I'm so glad to have seen all of you tonight, I had a lot of fun coming back. I laughed, I cried, I learned something...well, maybe I did, I'm not sure on that last one.
Take care, everyone! One or both of us will be back tomorrow. Hope y'all's days are fantabulicious!
love, hope, faith, peace
J
(Psst...Amy...for some reason I thought you were Australian. Pahdon me, miss. :) And you know, some males are smarter than others. Look at our guys in BlogBelieve!)
J, in sleepy stealth mode
time for me to go too, i'm afraid.
good night to all who have left, and good night to all who remain, and good night to all who lurk.
see you all tomorrow. :)
Goodnight J!
Heartbroken with Love Anon, I have something for you.
I think of you all the time,
I pay for my sins,
The heartache begins.
I can't free you from my mind,
It seems so these days,
I've tried every way.
You have drifted so far from me,
The winds of change,
Have swept you away.
Night and day it seems like eternity,
Borders and time have kept you from me.
(Chorus)
Blue are the ocean waters,
Along a lover's shoreline.
You will not be forgotten,
But now that you've gone,
The heartache lives on.
A warm breeze blows over a gentle sea,
The summer is near,
The heartache is here.
The fiddler plays an old time melody,
The tune is the same,
Change the faces and names.
Blue are the ocean waters,
Along a lover's shoreline.
You will be not forgotten,
But now that you've gone,
The heartache lives on.
Blue are the ocean waters,
Along a lover's shoreline.
You will be not forgotten,
But now that you've gone,
The heartache lives on.
Oh borders and time, the heartache is mine...
-A
I wish I had more time to be on here, because I really like it here. You guys are all wonderful amazing people and the little family you have created is awesome.
I dedicate this song to the family and the way you take care of each other
Goodnight everyone♥
What if everything you always took for granted, was gone?
And everything you ever thought was right, was wrong?
And what if everyone you ever loved was torn, from the pages of your life?
Would you reach out for tomorrow, or try to turn back time?
These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between what's left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you
Did you really love the ones you said you loved, thats right?
And did you make a damn of difference in somebody elses life?
Tell me, is there someone you can count on when you need a friend?
Can you see I need a friend?
These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between whats left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you
Can you live in your skin, walk in your own shoes?
You can't win, if you don't know how to lose
Crawl, fall, Jonny gotta learn to fly
These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between what's left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you
mayo,
you know, i was in one relationship for my entire adult life, up until about two years ago. and even though we weren't big fans of valentine's day, still, we celebrated it, in one manner or another. it was almost like there wasn't a choice.
and now i don't have to -- and it's not that i'm all giddy with liberation, it's just that it's a pleasant feeling to have one less thing i have to do. ignoring valentine's day is one of the little gifts i got from being divorced.
but funny thing, the topic is still sneaking into my head, i guess. i'm still thinking about love and what it means, and what i want it to mean, and all those nice side effects, and whether or not i'll ever get to experience those side effects again.
it never hurt anyone to think about it though, right? so that's okay then.
just, for gods' sake, don't send me any candy hearts, ok?
*grin*
good night, mayo. happy thoughts to you, and happy dreams.
SS baby,
You're always right here.
So fantastic to see you again. Don't stay away for fear of bringing the Nasties back. I'd rather fight an army of them each day if it meant you'd be back to play more often.
Come on, admit it, you like it when you come and play. I know you do. ;)
Sleep well, have restful dreams, take care of yourself for me.
Goodnight, babydoll. I love you.
J
Well every one, I think it's time for me to head off too.
Mayo and SS, Have a warmer weekend than I'm having. After 2 days of deep freeze tempuratures, I get stuck at work for 12 hours counting and trying to keep sane. Yay.
Family, stay warm, or cool and dry in ergo's case, and please keep in mind that I'm not planning on having sex with all of New York, unless it's raining men.
See y'all on the morning.
-A
P.S - Heartbroken in Love Anon, it'll get better. You'll never forget, but sometimes it's not a bad thing.
Looks like everyone has gone.
Goodnight
morning everyone!
morning mayo!
morning SS!
a beautiful crisp bright and sunny day in good old england!! lovely!
right i've not really had chance to catch up, i do hope everyone is well!
i am off for 5 days now. holiday to eurodisney in paris! i have the car journey from hell to contend with later today!! anyway take care all and i'll be back on thursday!!
have fun!
love to all of you! that includes mr mayo man and SS!
byeeee!
Hey Mayo
so the question was "what is love? (baby don't hurt me , don't hurt me, no more)"
We gave a lot of good answers and love is really something I think everyone deserves, whether it is romantic, family, friendly, brotherly or altuistic. I hope you are loved Mayo, so many of your posts hint at pain and heartache but I don't know if they truly come from your heart or whether you like to see our reactions.
But regardless, whoever you are close to , I hope they love you and you love them. In whatever form that love may take.
Sometimes love fails, love fades or is replaced buy a different kind of love....and of course so much hype surrounds the expression of love on one particular day. But I hope you are shown love everyday, and I hope all of blog believe and SS are shown love each day, even the simple love of a pet.
No love is worthless and all love should be held in special regard.
Wishing you love, always and that's enough
much love
EP xx
SS
nice to see you are still about "where the air is sweet" You're a great person, it sounds so simple yet knowing you're there watching is comforting
Keep well, love and be loved
lotsa love EP xx
goodnight all
xx
have a fabulous time FASC!!!
thanks ergo!
i'm really gone now!
Hello Mayonaise.
How goes the day with you? I awoke to a bright, blue sky and crisp, cold air and the determinaton to clear the detritus and various plant life that has accumulated in my garden.
What better way to spend the day, out in the fresh air, with a clear focus and a goal to achieve. It's the time to clear, to start afresh, to make way for all that's new.
Is this a metaphor? Maybe, could be, who knows?
The Earth is re-awakening. Are you?
SS,
Hello Kermit. Could you enlighten me. I've always wondered ( because I'm sad like that )how the name Kermit came to be. I mean it's not an every day name, so where was it plucked from? And why for a frog? Is there some in joke only Jim Henson knows?
I could Google it but where's the fun in that. What happened to good old fashioned research? Dusty pages and newsprint fingers...
Anyway, if you've got any ideas, you know, that would be cool.
BlogBelieve Family:
So Mayo sucks? Sorry, gotta do this:
" You can go suck a fuck "
" Oh, please tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck? "
SIM - good to see you back poppet. Take it easy.
FIM - an Oasis fan who likes Blur?! Is that even possible? Whoa, the concept is too much to take in :)
J and L - keep getting better.Oh and by the way... look, there's a badger with a gun, new queue, new queue! And yes, I have done this in public!
Miss T - PENGE!! Oh my stars! I laughed so much I think I pulled something.
Kat Slater!!
Oh, and love song?
By the Sea - Suede
Only one that springs to mind at the moment.
too excited to say usual good morning/evening*
HAPPY HEARTAGRAM DAY everyone!!!!!
I know you're all wearing your Heartagram gear today, right? :D
How is everyone today? Mayo, SS, Kass, Possum, FASC (who's on her way to Paris), Dalai Lama, anonymous ones....and on and on and on......
In honor of Heartagram day:
***WARNING -- viewing this video may cause eye popping, jaw dropping, heart stopping (and wonderful, wicked thoughts)***
The Sacrament LIVE at Helldone 07/08
Killing Loneliness Euro Version
Soul On Fire - Live
Bleed Well
Your Sweet Six Six Six
It's All Tears
I hope Mayo doesn't mind all the HIM videos. I have a feeling he really likes HIM and it IS a special occasion! ;-)
Ohh....and since today is all about the LOVE (metal); to ponder:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
~~Thomas Merton
American Author, Monk and Mystic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a happy, happy (and JAPPY even) Heartagram day everyone!!!!
Hugs and love to all,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Oh and the deleted post was me.
In my excitement I screwed up my link codes *blush*
If our love for someone is based largely on attraction, whether it be their looks or some other superficial characteristic, our feelings for that person are liable, over time, to evaporate. When they lose the quality we found alluring, the situation can change completely, this despite their being the same person. This is why intimate relationships based purely on attraction are almost always unstable.
Good morning Dalai Lama!
True, very true. The physical appearance may be what attracts someone in the beginning; but you can only look for so long....
It is the heart, the mind, the spirit/essence/soul of a person that we truly fall in love with.
Or, at least it should be!
~Namaste~
PS: I would send you hugs and kisses but I'm not sure if that would be proper. :/
A Woman's Heart
My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, as only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know
The tears that drip from my bewildered eyes
Taste of bittersweet romance
You're still in my hopes
You're still on my mind oh
And even though I manage on my own
My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know
When restless eyes reveal my troubled soul
And memories flood my weary heart
I mourn for my dreams
I mourn for my wasted love
And while I know that I'll survive alone
My heart is low, My heart is so low
As only a woman's heart can be
As only a woman, only a woman's
As only a woman's heart can know
CRUD!!!! I screwed up AGAIN but I am not deleting another comment.
Okay, do not click on the Your Sweet Six Six Six link up there!
Here's the correct one, I hope!
Your Sweet Six Six Six
Good morning Woman's heart anonymous.
Sorry you're feeling low....
*a big 'your heart will heal - in time - hugs*
Don't give up on love, on your dreams. Remember: The best may be/is yet to come....
Good grief! I screwed up "It's All Tears" too. I really must learn to control my excitement!
The correct link to that one:
It's All Tears
Hark!
Who lurks here?
Show yourselves.
Muahahah, I'm so funny.
But not really.
I lurk Sdock, I lurk ;-)
Actually, I'm sulking over all my link 'screw ups' this a.m.....
Oh well, they are the first 3 or 4 of many screw ups I shall make today. And, I DO intend to find a way to enjoy each and every one of them :D
*big hug for you*
Mayo,
How's it going? It's a little too early to tell for me, but I'm hoping it's going to be way sweet. I hope you are well. I hope you are so beyond great that you can hardly stand yourself. What are your plans today? Princess and I are going shopping. Girls day out and all that good stuff....translated means...we get to go where we want, for as long as want, talk about what we want, and most importantly listen to what we want!! Niiiice! Oh yeah and we can listen as loudly as we want.
My dude is out of the house right now and I can type this in peace. I have my music cranked already. It's going to be a good day. Time to plug back in....to myself. Do you ever need those days, Mayo? Don't forget to do that every now and then. It's like recharging your soul.
Hope your day is as spectabulous and you wish it to be. I've walked outside and the weather is perfect. The sky is blue, the dogs are barking, and the birds are chirping. Everything and everyone is almost awake and stirring. We are alive. What more could we ask for?
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Loud as we can stand it and singing along.
Hi 616 Wendy!
Hugs back to you, my friend. How are you today besides sulking?
I'm impressed with anyone who can do the linky thing and get it right.
SS,
Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. I think I remember now.
I was always one to hang out in the Land of Make Believe myself. You know...with King Friday, Prince Tuesday, X the Owl, Henrietta Pussycat...those folks. But I think I can find my way back to Oscar, Big Bird, Bert and Ernie now.
Staying bizzy is good but don't forget to recharge your soul too.
Faith, Hope, Love
Always,
S
I laughed :)
Morning Mayo. It's Saturday, a day to give one big "Eff YOU!" to the world and do what you want to do.
Not me though. I have stuff to do. Stuff that is about as interesting as reading a case book. OH WAIT! This is me bowing my head in shame.
SS, top o' the morning to you good sir. Um, if you see Mr. Snuffleupagus, do you think you could say hello for me? I always loved him and Oscar, but I'm in a Snuffleupagus mood toooooooday.
Ohhh, dear.
Hey guys:) I hope you're all well!
*pounces on Sdock to give her kisses this time*
Thanks Solly! Besides sulking, I'm good ;-) In fact, the sulking is over!
You and princess are going shopping today? T'is the season to buy BOOTS. They're all on sale now.
Ohhh....and you KNOW what cd you MUST look for today, right?
*big wink*
I hope you and Princess enjoy ya'll day! Try not to cause to much trouble in the malls :P
I know how much trouble sisters can cause when they get together for a day/night of fun!
Mustard,
I'm in a Slimey the Worm mood myself.
Niiice.
Or those little bugs that used to live in Bert and Ernie's flower box.
Or the little man that used to sit behind the piano trying to write a song and he would bang his head on the piano because he couldn't get his song out.
YEAHHHHHHH! What was his name? That's who I feel like!
Wendy,
You know it! We must get a copy of HIM....one that doesn't drag on Kiss of Dawn.
Oh that takes me back to PR.
*smiles*
Gerard PR quote: "Burn! Motherfucker BURN!!"
*smiles again*
mustardisbetter said...
SS, top o' the morning to you good sir. Um, if you see Mr. Snuffleupagus,do you think you could say hello for me? I always loved him and Oscar, but I'm in a Snuffleupagus mood toooooooday.
===================
Good morning MIB!
Snuffleupagus was ALWAYS my favorite.
He was such a big, goofy, lovable, huggable creature!
I'm thinking I must have missed some Seasame Steet talk.....I haven't caught up yet :/
Did the cookie monster show up?
*hugs*
Love? *cackles*
Love is a chemical reaction in your brain. It serves the human race by feeding not only the drive to procreate, but also the primal drive to form social groups without which humans would not have survived. You meet someone who matches some ideal in your brain that has formed there because of your culture or a whim, or even a deeply thought out process of what would work for you. When someone matches that (sometimes subconscious) profile, you fall in "love." Basically it is the drive to move in a social group and/or to procreate. (Or because not everyone wants to.)
For most people, and indeed about 99% of the people that I know, (here we go!) falling in love is like falling down a ladder, where every rung is another day older and the bottom is your fear of being alone. And whoever is at the bottom of the ladder when you get there is "the one." That's why I know maybe six people in my entire social circle who are with someone and are actually happy--this includes my parents. The rest are all just putting up with someone in order to keep the house, make ends meet, "have someone," or not mess up their kids.
Well, off to rehearsal. Later folks!
sdock10 said...
Wendy,
You know it! We must get a copy of HIM....one that doesn't drag on Kiss of Dawn.
Oh that takes me back to PR.
*smiles*
Gerard PR quote: "Burn! Motherfucker BURN!!"
*smiles again*
===============
I LOVE YOU SDOCK!!! It's GREAT to 'see' you smiling!
I must be off now......
things to do, screw ups to make, fun to be had...... ;-)
Give Princess a big smooch for me!
Love & Hugs,
6/Wendy
Gerard:
Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the
steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend,
you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision, rode on the
steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper,
you prisoner, and shine!
Laugh at me if you want, motherfucker. You know the story behind the song.
Don't let one of these get written about you.
Morning all. The sun is shining, the birds are singing (okay I don't really know if they are cause I have the music blaring but I'll just assume they are) and all is right for me this morning. I have my coffee so it's all-good. Hope everyone is having a good day. I'll be here and there and everywhere looking up ISBN numbers. Love you all. (oh these up moods are fun while they last)
Love you all.
GS, yes it IS possible for an Oasis fan to also like Blur. I'm one of those peeps as well
goodmorning everyone
it is a flying visit, i have to go into work and get smelly again. boo fucking hoo (sd10 i used that word for you)
well i wanted to say goodmorning to you so
GOODMORNING
catch you all later
xx
I don't have a favorite love song, I think, but I do have a favorite love poem. Which is kind of a song, in itself.
Mad Girl's Love Song, by Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
An idolater accosted me in the park
a mind-mugger seeking company for the asylum
He threatened me with eternal death
I offered him eternal life
There is no death
He opened the pages of his idol
and said we were all sinners
I offered him a match to liberate him from his sin
There in no sin other than error
and no religion higher than truth.
Well done, Splash. Well done indeed.
Gerard songs? I've got a few. But you just nailed it.
Moth, I love that poem. Thanks for posting it. Like, a lot.
I'm off again you guys, see you later. :D
Hi everyone, just wanted to thank people for their words of kindness. It means a lot, it really does.
Mayo, SS, I hope you two are well... no, better than well, I hope you guys are fucking amazing. That goes for the rest of you too.
And Moth, that's amazing. Plath is fabulous. I personally rather enjoy "suicide off egg rock" and "A birthday present"...
Anyway... hugs for all.
xoxo cupcake
Hey everybody, how's things? I'm just on for a moment, to leave a note for someone who was here last night. I'll be back later, though.
To the Broken-Hearted Anon:
I've been thinking about you a lot today, and I wanted to tell you something.
When you find the person who is your soul-mate, no matter where you find them, or when, or how, you know it. It's like a "click" in the heart, you know? And if that person, the one who makes your soul sing, isn't quite who you expected them to be, it's still ok. In fact, that may actually be better. It shows you that true love, real deep-down, everlasting, steal-your-breath-away love, IS out there. And it can be yours.
IF you take that risk.
Don't settle for anything less. Sometimes we get pressured by society, by our friends, by our families, to do what's "expected" of us.
But if that's not what YOU want, if the situation or the person you're with doesn't make YOU happy, then find the strength to say, "NO. Fuck it, I won't compromise myself just to make the rest of you happy."
Take some time and think about that, please?
Remember, sometimes we have to do what makes US happy.
love to you
J
Hello Mustard :)
Hi and bye J <3
Nevermind.
I got it.
And I get it.
Thank you.
"Out on a limb," but I'll ask anyway.
Mayo:
Where do you think you would be right now had this place never turned into what it has?
Would you be the same?
er...what's with the new quote at the top of the page? totally freaked me out when i loaded it just now.
oh...and good morning. :)
Interesting question Mustard..
Hello TJ, mind if I hug the hell out of you?
And what's with it? hmm I never even thought to ask! lol
Kapunua:
Uh, thank you really isn't what I want to say, but you know what I mean. It's weird.
Hey Cupcake and TJ :)
why, no, cupcake, i don't mind if you hug the hell out of me! :)
how long has the quote been up? it wasn't there last night.
good morning mustard.
seriously: what's with the quote? why is it in red?
TJ
I'm confused also
*big hugs for TJ and Mustard*
Hi elena, how are you?
good morning elena. :)
did it just show up? is it even a quote?
Don't be confused.
Maybe he just wanted it re(a)d.
*squeezy hugs back to cupcake*
Hey Cupcake and Mustard..
On second thought I'm not confused. Just very surprised.
Thank you TJ...
and lol mustard... probably... just wanted it re(a)d.
I'm not anything about this change... I literally have no feelings on it. It's rather peculiar.
Okay... what's got Mayo's knickers in a twist today?
well, i'm stll confused.
good morning resurrected wreck -- just what i've been asking, but no one is saying anything.
Thank you Mayo
I've just gotten up, TJ. How long have those red words been up there?
I'm still nothing. lol
Oh hi RW, long time no talkies, hope you're well.
Do not stay away from this place, it needs your light.
You are missed...more than you know.
Whatever it takes.
since i've been here, resurrected wreck -- about a half-hour?
elena?
I'm good, Cupcake :) How have you been?
Your words are what give value to this space.
Is that a collective "your", or is this about someone in particular?
I'm surviving RW. :)
I'm not going to put words in Mayo's mouth, but it is my best guess that he is referencing this:
Amyranth. February 8 @ 2:04 AM
He's aware, and that's an excellent thing in my opinion.
I'm surviving RW. :)
That's a good start, Cupcake :)
Seems likely Mustard... my, you ladies are on the ball..
I'm not going to put words in Mayo's mouth, but it is my best guess that he is referencing this:
Amyranth. February 8 @ 2:04 AM
But I didn't see anything in that comment that would warrant a big red "don't ever do that again" response.
Well RW, sometimes that's all you can do. And it is a start.
Indeed, Cupcake.
RW:
Maybe he was talking to himself.
A reminder.
I don't know. I don't know what Mayo means. Mayo is as allusive as they come.
But sometimes the light can't pierce the darkness. It isn't strong enough.
RW:
Maybe he was talking to himself.
A reminder.
Could be.
sorry, mustard, but i think i disagree with your idea -- i think this new message of mayo's refers to elena's deleted comment the other night.
does it, elena?
Let's face it, could be anything...
Deleted comment?
I think so TJ
A few nights ago I wrote a very long, rambling goodnight to Mayo. The next day I deleted it and told him I was sorry for taking up so much valuable space. I said I could have just condensed it into "I'm fucked up". I also said in the rambling note that I was sure he wasn't aware of something. Guess he's pretty damn aware.
If you take that risk.
The risk is too great.
"NO. Fuck it, I won't compromise myself just to make the rest of you happy."
Remember, sometimes we have to do what makes US happy.
It is because I love this person that I can't.
I just can't.
Thanks for explaining elena, I'm so out of it... I must check up on this place more.
:)
Elena:
Please never think that your voice isn't heard.
I hope you're okay.
Mayo, thank you.
See you guys sometime.
Bye mustard....
that's what i was thinking, elena.
well, i for one, agree with mayo. and agree with what he said: don't ever do it again. don't delete. your comments are always very interesting, and usually entertaining, as well!
i like what you write, elena.
see you later, mustard. :)
I second what TJ has said elena, your comments are wonderful. Don't ever feel they take up too much space. :)
Have a good one, Mustard :)
Bye Mustard and thanks
TJ thank you too. I feel sorta strange right now. I'm touched he reads what I write but I just wish I believed the words are all that important. I hope they are, I really do.
elena said...
TJ thank you too. I feel sorta strange right now. I'm touched he reads what I write but I just wish I believed the words are all that important. I hope they are, I really do.
I'm sure they are elena... I think what you write means a lot. Of course what some people write is bullshit... no one here ofcourse (well maybe a couple of the nasty anons)
I know it's hard to imagine your own words meaning anything.
But I can assure you, Yours do
Thank you Cupcake, so very much.
Just wanted you to know I have tried to e-mail you but it keeps coming back to me. Stupid e-mail.
I know it's hard to imagine your own words meaning anything.
that's it exactly, cupcake.
nor we can ever know what effect our words have. but elena, when you sit down and write your comments to mayo, you do so openly and with honesty -- and that comes through, every time.
trust that, even if you aren't able to trust that your words are the best (which i think they are, but...*grin*), trust that the honesty you have behind them makes them valuable.
but, like i said -- you have a way of phrasing things that gives me new understandings. why shouldn't your words do the same for mayo?
Well whadda ya know TJ? I made a useful contribution! lol
TJ
The weird thing is I never noticed how strange I write sometimes. I write like I talk, sorta rambling. I mean it makes sense to me but I think sometime does anyone get it? Thank you for saying it does!
cupcake! lol
of course! *gives you a hug for being silly*
Anonymous said...
If you take that risk.
The risk is too great.
"NO. Fuck it, I won't compromise myself just to make the rest of you happy."
Remember, sometimes we have to do what makes US happy.
It is because I love this person that I can't.
I just can't.
********************************
Anon,
Why?
Is there not more pain and risk involved in never knowing what might be?
L.
Elena, you're not the only one who does that hun, but you do make sense. I think the way you write is interesting and rather charming!
Elena,
We read your note that night, and I cried when you took it down.
Your words are important. Far more than you know.
Love,
L.
elena, that's one of the things i actually find charming about your comments -- they are so conversational, it's like you're just sitting down with him and chatting.
they make me smile. :)
L!!!!
*HUGS*
It's you! :) hurrah!
TJ, I'm afraid there's a reason I knew were elena was coming from then. lol
( No confidence that what I say is... anything other than drivel.hehe)
Cupcake I'm laughing - Charming? Don't think I would ever have heard that word to describe the way I write. Thanks
Hello L
Thanks to you too. How are you feeling today?
Oh and TJ I will post my chapter later.
Hello, cupcake, TJ, Elena, Mustard, RW, anon, anyone I missed.
I don't know how long I will be on, still not feeling great, but better than before. I think my immune system was shot after surgery, so I got a horrific sinus infection that I really waited too long to go to the doctor for. But, it will be fine.
I miss you guys when I'm not on here for a while. But I do try to keep up with what's going on.
Love,
L.
cupcake, i think we all have a part to play here -- no matter what we think of our own worth. we all have different backgrounds, and different experiences, and so our comments come together here and make something whole.
er...
if you understand what i mean?
Glad I can make you laugh elena, I meant it though.
Oh dear L, sinus infections are awful! so good to see you here though. :)
TJ, you make sense, I hear you. :)
hello there, l. good to see you! i'm glad to hear you're doing a little better, but do what you need to in order to get well.
elena, can't wait to see what you give me to work with! :)
except, i'll have to, because i really should get off the computer for now. :(
TJ I am chatting with him when I write. Well acutally I thought I was chatting AT him. I really did't think he was listening. Oh crap, now I know he is. Gotta think if this changes anything. Nope, it's okay I still will chat the same. I like knowing he's listening. Yeah, I really do.
Aww elena you're adorable! it is nice isn't it?....
*looks paranoid*
Hold on... that might mean he knows what I'm saying! Oh crap! another person who knows how inane I am!
Thank you, Elena, TJ, Cupcake.
Little by little, getting better.
I hope you are all doing well too.
J. showed me the comments from the broken hearted anon last night, and I don't know why, but it affected both of us. We have no idea who left them, but it just sounded so...sad and broken.
I think that even worse than never finding love is finding it and not being able to touch it, to feel it or show it.
If both feel the same, it should not matter what anyone thinks. Love is the most important thing in the world. And if you deny that...the heart breaks into so many pieces that the fake glue you try to repair it with will always give way.
I don't know why this particular anon made us both feel that way, they just did. I hope they find a way to truly love who they want, and to have that love returned.
L.
that's how it is for me too, elena. i think that's why making a night-time comment is so addictive.
plus, it's just a welcome feeling to know at least one thing you have to say each day is going to be heard, you know?
and now i must go. real world tasks are begging to be done!
talk to you later, elena -- and good bye to you cupcake, and l., and resurrected wreck (are you still there?), and all who lurk!
see you guys later. :)
Bye TJ, take care. :)
Oh fuck... the sun has risen! well what do you know?
No wonder it's so bright in here..
Elena said...
"I really did't think he was listening. Oh crap, now I know he is. Gotta think if this changes anything. Nope, it's okay I still will chat the same."
Well said, Elena. I think that's what I was trying to tell the one vulture that chided me for "taking Mayo to task". I told them if they had been around for a while, then they should know this is how I talk to him, and that I wasn't going to change that. I will always be supportive, loving and give advice (even if he didn't really ASK for it ^_~) but I would also treat him like any friend of mine, and not like glass. I HOPE he appreciates that. He hasn't told me different yet...
Love,
L
Bye, TJ! Hope to catch you later!
And thank you. Your comments meant a lot to me and J. We love you.
L.
Are you doing ok, Cupcake? We have been trying to keep up with things on your blog.
Love,
L.
Bye TJ
Cupcake what time is it for you?
L - It's true. I just can't help sometimes giving advice to him. Just like I would to any good friend (even if they didn't want it)Of course in the "real" world I only have one close friend. Hey, maybe that's why.
Honestly L?... no, I'm really not.
But I will be, I have to be, right?
Hmmm..
Anyway, thank you so much for taking time to check in on me, it's really very kind of you both. :)
No good will come of longing for what you can not have. It is better to press on, to concentrate on the future. I am aware I lack focus. My mind drifts all too willingly to whimsical fantasies that are always just beyond my reach.
I close my eyes and replay those times more than I care to admit. The details are still crisp, clean and pure. Every shadow, every flaw, every curve, every line, etched in my memory. Beautiful. I cling to them still.
It's a quarter to 7 in the morning elena.
Elena,
I like to think he appreciates the time we take to give advice. It may not be what he is looking for, especially when you read a post and go WHAAA? But at least we try. And you never know what will be the words that hit home.
Cupcake,
It will get better. You have to believe that. Just hang in there, sweetie.
Love,
L.
You have a lovely way with words anon.
We all need something to cling onto don't we?
Thank you L.
In response to "Broken Hearted Anons" poem...
DOWNFALL by Matchbox Twenty
I wonder how you sleep
I wonder what you think - of me
If I could go back
Would you have ever been with me
I want you to be uneased
I want you to remember
I want you to believe in me
I want you on my side
Come on
And lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
Here we go again
Ashamed of being broken in
We're getting off track
And I want to get you back again
I want you to trouble me
I wanted you to linger
I want you to agree with me
I want so much, so bad
Come on
And lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
You be my savior
Only love can save us now
Love save me now
Only love can save us now
I'll be your downfall
Our love can save us now
Love save me now
Lay it down
I've always been with you, here and now
With all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall
Now I'm back on my own
Yeah my are heavy, made of stone
And I'll make you go where I go
Well they're here, can I take you home
And I'm coming home, on my back
Kissing me, your lips painted black
I'll be your downfall
Let me be your downfall, baby
L.
Anon,
You didn't answer my question.
Why can't you be with this person?
L.
Anon
Are you 100% sure what you desire is beyond your reach? That it can never be?
Actually, to be a bit more specific-
Does the person you love also love you back, but there is something keeping you apart, or is the love only on one side?
L.
You're welcome, Cupcake. Just don't give up, ok?
L.
Have you listened to your CD, Elena?
Love,
L.
I am a realist.
I've got one foot planted firmly on the ground & one leaping over the stars.
Er... I guess that makes me a contortionist.
No good will come of longing for what you can not have. It is better to press on, to concentrate on the future. I am aware I lack focus. My mind drifts all too willingly to whimsical fantasies that are always just beyond my reach.
But, it can't be helped.
Sometimes reality just sucks and you are forced to make things up and live vicariously.
So am I, anon.
But not when it comes to Love.
There are no rules in Love and War.
Do I know the reason you feel you can't be with this person? Have I touched on this before?
L.
A realist is another name for a dreamer who has given up.
I like that description, Elena.
Love,
L.
resurrected wreck said...
I've got one foot planted firmly on the ground & one leaping over the stars.
Er... I guess that makes me a contortionist.
Me too RW... and that's one thing about me that I actually like.
L
I am rocking to "Goody Two Shoes" right now.
Guys, I'm going to go and lay back down for a while. My fever is going back up, and I need to find something for lunch. I will try to be on later tonight.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Anon,
Think about it. It's not impossible.
Love,
L.
ROCK ON, ELENA!
Rock on!
Talk to you later,
Love,
L.
Have a good rest L, take care of yourself. :)
Take care of yourself L. I'm sending a big hug to you.
A realist can still dream.
It is better to have dreams than nothing at all.
Those dreams are mine.
I will not let them go.
It is better to have dreams than nothing at all.
Yeah. Absolutely.
That's good to hear anon.
A dream is better than nothing.
:)
Do you think they will ever come true?
Your dreams?
Bye, L, feel better :)
Nothing wrong with having dreams. Most every significant accomplishment in my life has started out as a dream.
Of course you should hold on to your dreams. What I am saying is I don't understand the whole "realist" thing. How can we look at anything in this life and say "Well this is how it is, period" The only thing that applies to is death. When your number is up, it's up. No changing that. But everthing else? Humans are too emotional. Our feelings change like the wind. Nothing is ever etched in stone. Just when we think we have it figured out, well then the game changes. Why think that they way something is today is the way it will be tomorrow?
Hi RW, Mustard, cupcake, Anon!
How are you guys?
Never face reality until your reality is exactly the way you want it to be.
Hullo, Star :) It's been a while!
Hello Star.
I totally agree with you, Elena and RW. You can never tell what will happen from day to day. Elena's comment about emotions was perfect because there are always too many variables in the equation.
Never give up hope.
Did that make sense? I have a sinus headache. WAHHH!
Hey Star and RW
Nice to see you.
I think I'm gonna go guys, take care, all of you.
Mayo, whatever is going on in your life, good luck.
xoxo cupcake
Hello there, Elena :) How are you this weekend?
Sinus headache, Star? That totally sucks :( I get air pressure migraines, so I can commiserate.
See ya Cupcake.
I'm well, thank you RW. How are you?
Star I feel for you
RW,
Thank you! I am funneling coffee as I type.
Good times, good times!
I'm well, thank you RW. How are you?
Quite god, thank you :) I am at this moment tarting myself up to head out to the mall for a bit of shopping.
RW,
Thank you! I am funneling coffee as I type.
Good times, good times!
I would have thought that coffee would make headaches worse, but I sometimes find it good to take the edge off. Does it have that effect on you too?
I have crawled blindly on my hands and knees along this path for some time now, I have finally reached acceptance. It is not as dark or as lonely as I imagined. Just empty.
My track record would indicate it is probably better for both of us this way.
Thank you all for your words.
Rw,
Yes, my doctor is actually the one who told me about coffee and headaches. It opens constricted vessels or something.
Sometimes it is the only remedy that works for me.
Anon,
I don't know your exact situation, obviously, but as far as track records go, screw that.
No one had a worse track record than me until I met my husband.
I'm not saying this to get a warm and fuzzy reaction, but because it is the truth.
And I never ever thought it would happen ever.
Take care of yourself, anon.
We'll be here for you.
We always are.
Empty is a good description, yes.
Star: Ah, the dark alchemy that is coffee! I owe it so much!
My sincerest apologies for not being welcoming to you guys. My mind is just not there today.
So, hello Star, RW, Elena, and Cupcake :)
L, please take care of yourself.
Star, I empathize. Headaches are the worst in my opinion. Right up there with nausea. Combine the two, and I'm dead x_x
Anon
Words are not all we've given you. We've also given you part of ourselves. Our feelings have gone out to you. If acceptance is the path you take I wish you well. But emptyness is a hole that if you're not careful can grow.
RW!!!
Star: Ah, the dark alchemy that is coffee! I owe it so much!
I just spit my coffee at my screen.
Rahahaha!
Have fun shopping!
Hello Mustard.
What's wrong?
You okay, Mustard?
Yes, I'm fine, thanks :)
I'm just listening to you guys talk and listening to music.
FYI: It's taking a bit for the page to load, so I'm a few comments behind.
I think I killed it!
Mustard what are you listening to? I'm listening to a great mix CD the Punks made for me.
Current song..."Better Things" Bouncing Souls.
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