You are all seen.
I am here. Not always present, but I am here. I feel each of you even as I move about my world. I presume we have this in common.
This space is mine in confidence, without interruption, without interception, and without edit.
I carry a bit of debt to you that I have not shared. You have reached me in ways you will never know.
You have helped.
p.s. thank you.
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4,021 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 4021 Newer› Newest»"No partner in a love relationship should feel that he has to give up an essential part of himself to make it viable." True love is a state of freedom and authenticity. It is not our place to try to fix, change or make somebody else okay in life.
This came from an article about pushing buttons.
tap, tap, tap.
People shouldn't have to be unhappy.
You shouldn't have to be unhappy. No one should.
It just doesn't make sense.
Because of my children, because sometimes I can stil see the man I fell in love with but it just keeps getting harder and harder. I've changed so much in the past year. I've tried so hard to become the person I've always wanted to be. He told me the other night he hates everything about the new me. Yeah that one hurt.
But mostly because I am weak. No matter how much I try to conviene myself...I am weak
It is not our place to try to fix, change or make somebody else okay in life.
But, I can understand people that want to help. I am one of those people, but sometimes the person on the receiving end doesn't cooperate.
You can't help someone who doesn't want your help.
Kapunua i think elena was referring to the fact that she has 3 children with her husband. having children makes the whole thing much more complicated.
hi wendy!!
ok guys i have eyes burning into my back at the mo from my very own resident male member of the population.
be positive sdock!
lots of love to you all!
mayo MUST post tonight and i will look forward to reading it in the morning!
bye guys!
He told me the other night he hates everything about the new me. Yeah that one hurt.
I remember our long talks about this, Elena.
It does hurt. You can't get the words out of your head.
I see you're in a spot because of your children, but have you tried talking to him and laying out there exactly how it is you feel?
Goodbye FASC :)
Have a great night, and sleep well.
But it's because I don't know how to make myself happy. I've never loved myself enough to think that what I want is worth anything.
Thank you for the tap, tap, tap.
I need it over and over.
'Night, FASC :)
Solly, get closer. Mayo babbled some crap about this blog being "divine intervention" once. Well, maybe not, but a signpost. A sign. Could your sign be any more neon, Solly?
Elena, we're all weak in some ways. And I have no right to tell you what to do, because I'm too afraid and selfish to do the one thing I really want to do as well. So I get that, I do.
But I can't stand to see people get treated like that and walked on by people who are supposed to love them. And if you're staying together for your children, don't you think they know you're unhappy, and can feel the tension and sadness?
Elena,
It hurts like hell. I've been told that too. That I've changed in these terrible ways. That I'm not right in the head.
That it won't matter if I walk away. I ain't special to him. There are plenty of women out there waiting to take my place. That I am going to end up just like my mother. Alone.
Go ahead and cry. He laughs. It won't help anything.
resurrected wreck said...
Hullo, Anon616 :) Saucy underwear, and no mistake!
=====================
Hello again to you RW and FASC!
Yeah, I'm in quite the SAUCY mood lately. I think I have an early case of Spring Fever ;-)
How are you RW? *sadly waves bye to FASC*
I've never loved myself enough to think that what I want is worth anything.
But, it is. You deserve the world, Sdock. You have worth. But, me telling you that will do nothing. You have to find it in yourself, you know?
Mustard he hates the new me because for the first time in my life I am talking. At least I'm trying to. Before I just stayed quiet and kept it all in. It doesn't help. He doesn't listen. He can't understand why I wasn't happy. Shit, everyone else was. So that must mean I'm wrong.
That it won't matter if I walk away. I ain't special to him. There are plenty of women out there waiting to take my place.
I feel sorry for them.
That I am going to end up just like my mother. Alone.
Do you know what's worse than beign alone? Being stuck in a relationship where your parner bullies you & shows you no respect.
I'm well, Anon616 :) Gorging on ice cream as we speak!
How has your weekend been?
Do you ever have dreams about being loved completely? Knowing it's the real thing? That passion and fire. Wanting him to walk in and take you in his arms and just hold you? Believe that he really would protect you and be there for you and that you would do the same for him? Thinking about him all the time because you know he's the one. Never wanting to be apart because you miss him that much. You long for his touches, his kisses, the way he looks in your eyes and knows what your thinking without you having to say it over and over. Knowing that he would never say something to intentionally hurt you just to push you away.
Yeah, I dream. I dream those dreams that have no shot of coming true.
There are, like, entire novels written about the experience of the adult woman finally finding her voice and walking away from the life that she thought she wanted. If it's a cliche in literature that's because it happens so often. Neither of you is alone in this scenario, even if it feels like you are.
Elena:
I don't know. I can't help you because I do the same thing now that you used to do. I just nod my head and go on. It's a lot easier.
I wish I knew what to say.
Elena,
Me too. I finally try to stand up for myself a little bit and he walked away that night. I didn't see him until the next day and we never talked about it after.
Yeah, I dream. I dream those dreams that have no shot of coming true.
Yeah.
Exactly, RW. Exactly.
Sdock, I used to dream things like that, too. And it didn't come true, because it rarely does.
And you know? I'm pretty happy. You have to find your self worth. Even in your fantasies you're waiting for someone to validate you.
Hi Wendy!!
How are you?
good mornimg!
RW Sdock elena kapunua mustard fasc anon
and anyone else back a page.
This is a very serious discussion and all I can say is that I agree with everyone, but making that decision to leave is terrribly terribly difficult it brings up so many "what if..?"'s and so much fear.
Sdock can you see a women's counselling service, in person or via phone? A mininster or doctor? You are being emotionally abused and the only way out it to find yourself the support from real people who can give you practical advice, shelter or financial assistance if you need it and the continued support to get yourt life on track afterwards, This may not be something you can do on your
own at this point.
Please can you make a phone call and talk to someone about it?
Splash, break that habit now before it becomes too ingrained in you. You're one of the nicest people on this blog. But guess what? Sometimes being nice gets you absolutely dick. Nice is overrated, occasionally necessary but not in every situation. Nice is, well, nice.
But you have potential that goes far beyond "nice."
You have to find your self worth.
Yes, exactly.
Elena said...
Because of my children, because sometimes I can stil see the man I fell in love with but it just keeps getting harder and harder. I've changed so much in the past year. I've tried so hard to become the person I've always wanted to be. He told me the other night he hates everything about the new me. Yeah that one hurt.
But mostly because I am weak. No matter how much I try to conviene myself...I am weak
=======================
Elena: you are NOT weak! You just need to find your inner strength once again. It's there!
It's within you too Solly!
You are both wonderful woman and you both deserve true happiness.
I wish I could help you ladies find that - find what sustains you from within......inner strength, joy, love, peace......
WE all deserve to have that!
Please don't sell yourselves short.
*big hugs again*
Hello, EP :)
But guess what? Sometimes being nice gets you absolutely dick. Nice is overrated, occasionally necessary but not in every situation. Nice is, well, nice.
Yes, but this is my parent.
It's so much easier to just not do anything.
It's normal now.
That's a good point, Ergo. it is so much more daunting if you have to go it alone. And it's all well and good for a bunch of people on the internet to say "we're here for you," but what can we do when it comes down to, "But where will I go? Can I take my dog? What about my possessions? The entire life I'm used to? Better the devil you know, right?"
You have to look for real life help.
Hello Ergo and 616 :)
I hope you guys are both well!
He just came over here and fucked with the computer.
errrrrrrrr
hello wendy!
*early monday smooch*
I just keep holding on...Thinking that the day will come when no one depends on me. Then I can be free. Then I can just be free. But fuck, I'll be so old. What differece will it make then? My life is passing me by. I'm watching it, just watching, He just came in a minute ago and got pissed off because the blog was up. He hates that I talk to all of you. He makes fun of it. Says I'm just being stupid and wasting time. He doesn't know that this keeps me sane.
I know Splash, and that makes it infinitely harder. I'm just afraid that it's sinking too far into you and soon you won't be able to get it out.
Splash, what are your plans, if that's not too personal a question? I mean, your plans for the future, to get away from that situation? Like, school or work-wise, something that will get you out of that environment. Do you have anything lined up?
Because the sooner the better. You're being poisoned by your own silence.
Ergo!!!!!!!!
*pounce, tackle, hug, smooch*
How are you honey bunch? Has the rain stopped yet? :/
I'm doing okay, Solly. Thanks for asking! I just wish I had the 'magic' words to help you....
My plans are to get as far away as possible.
That's my plan.
And when I do, it will be because of what I want to do, who I want to be, where I want to be.
It's just taking me some time.
First of all Elena, squash this "old" talk. You are NEVER too old to enjoy life and to be free. Think about how you felt when you were in your twenties. Didn't you think then that your thirties were "old" and you would have to give up on certain things, that life will have passed you by by then? My mom is sixty and she has so much joy. My Gran is eighty eight and she is enjoying her life now as much--or more--than she ever did.
The sooner the better, sure, definitely. Like now. But even if it's years down the road, at least you still did it.
Elena,
That's what mine just did and that's what he says to me. He told me the other day to pick up the fucking phone and call you all because it made more sense.
He said that I care more about Mayonaise and all of you than him.
He doesn't know that you people are the only ones who hear me. I scream and scream and he never hears me.
Splash, I'm not sure it's about physical distance. Just getting out of the immediate situation is what's important. Terrifying, but important.
How do you plan to go far away?
I should really take my own crazy advice. I can dish it out but I somehow can't turn it back and apply it to myself. ;D
I'm not unhappy though. There's just one thing I want but always chicken out.
oops sorry mustard I missed typing you!
hello!
I spent a lot of years waiting for the right time to make changes in my life. But what I found out in the end is that your ship rarely just comes in - you have to swim out to meet it. If you keep waiting for the perfect time, you'll never do anything. Sometimes you need to just make that leap, throw the pieces up in the air and worry about sorting them later. It's scary, yes, but exciting too. And I can tell you from experience that it can work out beautifully.
Guys,
I guess I better take a break so I can be back later.
Thanks for everything.
I think I might need more than that tap, tap, tap.
I think I need knock, knock, knocking in the head.
Sweeeeeeeeeeet!
Mayo,
I'm tickling your keyboard with my sticky sweaty hands. Can you feel it?
mustardisbetter said...
And when I do, it will be because of what I want to do, who I want to be, where I want to be.
It's just taking me some time.
========================
Mustard: I have a feeling you will KNOW when the time is right.
*big hugs for you too*
I am sorry. I didn't mean to let this shit all out.
sdock do you see why I care about you so much? I don't want you to end up like me. You're young, you can still make a change.
It's too late for me but not for you.
I hear you, RW. Scares the christ out of me, but I hear you.
How do you plan to go far away?
I don't know. I don't even know.
I'm not unhappy though. There's just one thing I want but always chicken out.
This is beckons to be answered then, that is if you're willing to share.
What are you afraid of?
Elena, just you QUIT WITH THAT RIGHT NOW.
I'm tickling your keyboard with my sticky sweaty hands. Can you feel it?
I'm sorry. I couldn't resist C&Ping.
*breathes a deep breath*
See you later, Sdock :)
Thanks 616. I hope I know, too.
It's too late for me but not for you.
No. It's never too late for anyone. It's too late when we physically die, but if we're still alive and kicking, it's not too late.
I hear you, RW. Scares the christ out of me, but I hear you.
Scary, yes. But I'll bet you'd be amazed at what you can accomplish once you make that leap.
Splash: Then work it out. It's not about how old or young you are, but how badly you need it. And I think you need it soon. You are far too nice for your own good. Cultivate a little bit of your own poison. ^_^
And get out of the situation. Are you in school? Saving up? Begin. And no, it is not easy. But I know you. I know it doesn't seem like I could know you very well because we've only talked online for a few months, but I recognize you, and I know you can. You've got some steel in you.
This is beckons to be answered then, that is if you're willing to share.
What are you afraid of?
Giving up what I have now. I'm very happy and very comfortable. If I did what I wanted to do, it'd be like a game of 52 pick-up.
Take care, Sdock. See you later :)
Exactly, Splash. Well said.
RW, I'll start to panic if I keep thinking about it, so I'll just tuck it away again and look at it in another few months. ;D
If I did what I wanted to do, it'd be like a game of 52 pick-up.
Then let them fall where they may?
What if it works out? Will you ever know?
You know what this is? This blog is made up of, "I'm too young. I'm too old. I'm too scared. But you do it, because you can."
We're all saying the exact same thing.
Splash, if it didn't work out, it wouldn't be just my life that I screwed up.
Exactly, Splash. Well said.
Yes, I completely fail at taking my own advice.
:)
ergoproxy said.....
see a women's counselling service, in person or via phone? A mininster or doctor? You are being emotionally abused and the only way out it to find yourself the support from real people who can give you practical advice, shelter or financial assistance if you need it and the continued support to get yourt life on track afterwards, This may not be something you can do on your
own at this point.
Please can you make a phone call and talk to someone about it?
==========================
I think that is wonderful advice Ergo gave there.
We can offer you all our friendship, love, support, words of encouragement; but, I'm afraid it not's enough....
You ladies can't and shouldn't have to go on like this. In so much pain. That kind of pain destroys your soul/spirit. PLEASE don't let that happen Solly, Elena, Mustard......
Please don't!
Talk to professionals who can help.
Elena it's never too late and you are as young as you feel and I get the impression you feel a lot younger than you used to. Can you see a marriage counsellor? I think your husband perhaps doesn't understand what you feel at all and maybe if you think he could sit and listen to you and understand he may see why you needed to change and how your relationship can grow from it rather than fade away.
Mine didn't becasuse I had hidden me and now he understands and faced some of his own fears and we came to a new understanding of each other.
Oh man, what am I saying? I know I could do it and do a damn good job, and totally screw what anyone would say about it.
The real truth of it is that I'm just not ready yet. I keep putting it off with, "Well, after I'm done with this or that or the other."
But then I never begin "this or that or the other" because, why then I'd have no excuses left.
I gotta go. I really do love all of you. Thank you for listening.
If Mayo comes by please tell him I said "Hey" and that I will miss not telling him goodnight.
I really will miss that. God, that make me sound so stupid.
Splash, if it didn't work out, it wouldn't be just my life that I screwed up.
Well, that's a bit different.
Hmm. Then maybe you should wait until you're 95% certain it will work out for all parties.
Or will that never happen?
The real truth of it is that I'm just not ready yet. I keep putting it off with, "Well, after I'm done with this or that or the other."
But then I never begin "this or that or the other" because, why then I'd have no excuses left.
I wonder if GW felt this way before 9/11.
Goodnight, Elena :) Take care!
There will never be a way to make sure. And that's okay. I actually am pretty sure it would be all right with the other person. Really thinking about it, I couldn't be more sure.
I'm just not a big enough girl yet. ;D
But soon, it really will be too late.
We're all saying the exact same thing.
Yes, and hopefully it will work for us.
Maybe we're all to kind for our own good. Maybe we all just want to see others succeed and to hell with our problems.
I feel like that. I'd much rather see you all happy. In some weird, twisted way, it makes me happy.
and it's still not perfect but a hell of a lot better
it's a long road but I'm on it instead of watching it go by
Sometimes just talking to someone, face to face, can give you the validation you deserve and help you find that inner strength to do what you have to do FOR YOU.....
Elena:
See you tomorrow hopefully! Take care of yourself. And be safe out in that weather :)
bye Elena it doesn't sound stupid, it's part of a little ritual of pleasure, a connection and that's all people want isn't it? To connect
Mine didn't becasuse I had hidden me and now he understands and faced some of his own fears and we came to a new understanding of each other.
That's wonderful, Ergo. That truly is.
If you wait until you feel confident to do something new or pursue a dream, you'll wait forever.
Sometimes just talking to someone, face to face, can give you the validation you deserve and help you find that inner strength to do what you have to do FOR YOU.....
But, on the other hand, you must have the inner strength to even talk to the person face to face.
At least I've found that to be the case.
But soon, it really will be too late.
What will be ending to make it be too late?
Carpe Diem, you know.
oh and Wendy it's still raining lightly, it's cold and windy, the rain is upo the coast a little and they are , joy of joys , worried a cyclone could form!
tell me anyone hear of this area offending God/ higher beings/ earth somehow? ;)
But soon, it really will be too late.
What will be ending to make it be too late?
I'm thinking this is about motherhood. Am I right?
Mine didn't becasuse I had hidden me and now he understands and faced some of his own fears and we came to a new understanding of each other.
=====================
Ergo: that's wonderful!!!
Yeah, sometimes communication (or lack therefore of) can lead to so many problems. People feeling unappreciated, misunderstood, not understood at all, unworthy.
In relationships, we can't get inside another person's mind to KNOW how they are feeling. That's how the professionals can help.....
in a way, putting someone inside another's mind. Understanding what they are feeling....
Sometimes things can be worked out; sometimes things can not. But, I think it's always worth a shot!
Yep, once again, that's just the ever romantic and hopeful me ;-)
So long for now Elena! I hope you feel a little better when you return.
Hello redrum!
MIB: your inner strength is there, girl! Take a deep breath, dig deep AND BELIEVE.......
Yes RW, that's right. I used to belong to Single Mothers By Choice. I was all set to go, and then I chickened out. Or rather I met a guy and wanted to put it off so I could have a bit more fun.
There are things I still want to do that I know it's much harder to do with a baby in your life. Like specifically, travel.
And I'm really involved in Kung Fu as well.
If I could afford to adopt, I would, because I find that so noble. But it seems to me that once I had spent thousands of dollars on adoption, there would be nothing left over for the actual child. O_O Besides which, many countries are closing their doors to single mothers adopting.
So eventually I'm gonna have to head to the bank! ;D
It's just a matter of when.
Hullo, Redrum :) Ooops! Almost missed you there :S
Then of course I am a neurotically nervous wreck when it comes to my family. "What if this one or that one gets sick? That other hasn't called me yet; what if something happened? OH MY GOD THE BABY COUGHED!" I panic over my effing dogs for crying out loud.
I'm afraid if I had a baby I'd never sleep again for worrying.
wendy that is so true that is what I did and still do, I won't say anything and dwell on it in my head and blow it out of proportion and ...well.. we know how that ends!
but I tried to fit in with relatives etc and had to just come to the realisation that I am not and never will be like them and just accept that, and they don't like it and as of now, I don't care.
I have found other outlets, real and virtual.
I am happier as who I am and I don't know how the future goes but I won't compromise (well I say that but I really will try) I am more who I used to be, but it is rather nerve wracking and I'm still working on it
There are things I still want to do that I know it's much harder to do with a baby in your life. Like specifically, travel.
I'm speaking as a single, child-free person here, but I'll bet there are ways of making it work if it's what you really want :)
kapunua you and every parent alive worries over that, you can never watch a movie about kids or news stories without internalising it, that's just how it is!
and hello redrum nice to read you!
I agree, RW. And I also think how cool it would be if I traveled around with a kid, too. Then the kid would be this well-traveled free spirit, you know? I think that would be cool, too.
I think maybe it's more of an excuse. ;D
Ergo, I know, that's what my friends tell me. Like staying up all night making sure your kid is breathing, and how news stories that used to horrify you now make it impossible to sleep.
And in my mind, everything is cancer. Like if my dog coughs it's cancer. If he trips, it's cancer. I'm totally neurotic; I worry like it's my job.
I just can't imagine that I'd be able to be objective, and that all of my formal knowledge would go out the damn window.
I just can't imagine that I'd be able to be objective, and that all of my formal knowledge would go out the damn window.
I think that's probably true for most people, though. Parenthood in theory & parenthood in practice are probably two very different things.
ergoproxy said...
but I tried to fit in with relatives etc and had to just come to the realisation that I am not and never will be like them and just accept that, and they don't like it and as of now, I don't care.
I have found other outlets, real and virtual.
==================
BRAVO on that realization ERGO!!
I love those EUREKA - I GET IT -moments!!!!
I'm so glad you now realize that you don't have to be 'like' anyone else. All you have to do is be the best YOU possible.....and be true to yourself. :)
If someone doesn't like that you, SCREW 'EM! ;-)
Hmmm.......I think there must be something fundamentally wrong with anyone who doesn't like you though.
:D
lol thanks wendy you're like a cheer squad!
kapunua travel with one child is a lot easier, and you learn to supress the panics with a child, but it's there.
I'm off gymming so I'll be back later,
byeeee
Kapunua said...
Then of course I am a neurotically nervous wreck when it comes to my family. "What if this one or that one gets sick? That other hasn't called me yet; what if something happened? OH MY GOD THE BABY COUGHED!" I panic over my effing dogs for crying out loud.
I'm afraid if I had a baby I'd never sleep again for worrying.
Jules,
I'm right there with you on that one.
Have a good day, EP :D
Hullo again, Solly :)
Hey RW,
I just can't seem to stay away today.
Damn, I have a meffer of a headache.
I wish I had advice on your situation, Jules, but I just don't. Only you will know the right time for that. Sure it's a big step, but getting up every day is, too. It's a big step walking outside your back door.
You would eventually learn, if you can actually learn, to incorporate all the things you love while taking care of a child. They could be involved, too.
I used to think that I wanted kids, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've thought about it quite a bit recently. Why? I don't know. But it just doesn't seem the thing for me.
ergoproxy said...
lol thanks wendy you're like a cheer squad!
================
I try Ergo, I do try.....hehe!
Well ladies, I must be off.
*hears big sigh of disappointment*
No, really - I must go.
My sister's house was struck by lightning a couple of hours ago and I must turn my computer over to my niece for homework purposes.
My poor sister! It's probably going to cost a fortune to get the house rewired......
It's always something, ain't it?
Well, I hope you ladies and gentlemen (if any are around) have a good rest of the day/night/morning.
Love and hugs to all!
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
I just can't seem to stay away today.
Me neither. I've been plunked in front of the computer practically since I woke up. 0_0
Have a good one, Anon616 :)
I used to think that I wanted kids, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've thought about it quite a bit recently. Why? I don't know. But it just doesn't seem the thing for me.
I've never wanted any. I love being an aunty though. I just wish my sister & her family lived closer :/
I am checking ticketmaster my MyChem tix.
Looks like they really are playing the small places.
I can't fucking wait! OH MY GAWWWWWHD! I am going to so get in the front.
Maybe you like being an aunt because you can give them back to their rightful owner ;)
I'm just pickin'. It's nice to have kids around. It makes you feel younger.
I just think I'm too focused on a career right now. That's the goal. And I guess whatever comes after that is icing on the cake.
I am checking ticketmaster my MyChem tix.
Looks like they really are playing the small places.
I think they're trying to get back to their roots & the feeling of playing to a smaller, more personal audience.
Maybe you like being an aunt because you can give them back to their rightful owner ;)
Haha! You could be right there ;) And I have spoiling rights!
My nephew's first ice cream cone.
Oh my goodness, that was the cutest pic.
:D
RW!
He's adorable!
Thank you :) I think so too!
You guys, you're all right.
But it's easy to think "Well, I'll know the right time," but I'm not sure I believe in a right time. I guess I'll just get around to it when I do. ^_^
Splash, more power to you. I believe that people should breed less. I wish I had the option to adopt; it would be my first choice. I have no desire to pass on my DNA. Values though, passions, ideas, and world-view, those things are important to me.
Funny thing is that I don't like children all that much unless I've known them for a long time. Little suckers irritate me. Yet they always seem to go to me and I'm like, "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ME, SMALL PERSON?"
There have been all of three exceptions to the general rule of me not being comfy around children.
That is a cute pic, though. ^_^
Ta :D
Yet they always seem to go to me and I'm like, "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ME, SMALL PERSON?"
But, that should tell you something about yourself that you may not have known.
:)
Yet they always seem to go to me and I'm like, "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT OF ME, SMALL PERSON?"
But, that should tell you something about yourself that you may not have known.
:)
They probably recognize you as someone who's not going to be condescending toward them, K.
Yeah, well you know I fail at baby-talk and coddling and that kind of thing. I really suck at the whole "goochygoochygoo" stuff. I don't find children miraculous or anything like that. To me they're just small people who don't yet have an education. Some of them are hella funny though. And that's how I've always dealt with Jo-chan and SB while they were babies, toddlers, kids, young adults. They just are who they are. Same with Boychild. I like to play games with him because it cracks him up, but I fail epically at the baby-talk thing.
You now what?
"We" have helped, but you never could do the same for us, could you?
Do you know how many kids are gloomy and disenchanted today because your 'rockstar-bastard-ish-atitude?' last night?
I tell you how many. A fucking lot.
They are trying to figure out why in the hell you was rude and distant while everyone else was being kind and signing a couple of shirts.
I always tryied to understand your behavior but dude, you fly miles knowing that you meant that much for a huge number of kids, you are rest, your agenda is calmer than never, and then as you are set on the ground you allege stress and let them waiting for you?
oh. give me a break.
are you needing some time in the van to write this bunch of cryptic things?
Get a life. give atention to people that care about you. once in a lifetime.
Like you never did before.
M.
Hello all
I just want to say to SD I don't think you are still here but I need to say this.
You keep saying how you hate yourself and you don't know how to make yourself happy.
Did you stop to think that the reason you hate yourself and don't know how to be happy is because you really do know what will make you happy. But you are afraid of it.
What I'm trying to say is you don't want to hurt your love ones by think of yourself first and them second.
Wait, what?
Fromt his transmission I'm getting "Gerard Way was a dick to his fans" and I'm sorry, that no longer surprises me. But that's got nothing to do with this place.
Don't know where you heard about us, but this is not Gerard Way's blog. This dude is some guy we barely know, and we are a bunch of mostly women talking about leaving husbands, boyfriends, starting life, living life, having kids, not having kids.
If you want to vent about Gerard, please do. I do it all the damn time.
Just don't come here assuming that he's going to get the message, because he's not going to.
Hello, MJ :)
MJ,
I'm still here and what you are saying, there's probably a lot of truth in that.
Do you know how many kids are gloomy and disenchanted today because your 'rockstar-bastard-ish-atitude?' last night?
I tell you how many. A fucking lot.
First of all, I would love to know what happened last night, but I'm gonna guess that it isn't far from what has been happening.
And Anon, we can only hope that our things get back to Gerard, but it's probably a pointless endeavor.
I'm sorry you feel that way though, M.
HELLO, MJ!!!
Was he telling people to fuck themselves with glowsticks again? Or has he got a new schtick for a new year?
You know, for someone who's happily living an amaaaaaazing new life, he's sure got a funny way of showing it.
Wow, who knew G-Way would be such a conversation killer!
For real, RW.
I hear crickets chirping again.
Is that crickets, Sdock? I thought it was the voices in my head blowing me raspberries.
No, wait. I think it's the voices in my head.
Hello SD, RW , MIB and Kapu sorry if I missed anyone.
Sd I hope things get better for you.
Well anon it seems GW has pissed you off.
MJ,
Thanks for that. I do too.
hi again
I never really wanted kids and I don't like them much, I am not a let me cuddle your baby person at all, but I do enjoy my daughter, I just had to decide that I would do it, and I don't regret it, though I do think I could have been happy without too.
M we can't understand another's mind so don't try. Who know what he thinks or feels and his attitude is his and perhaps that is who he feels he needs to be. It might suck but at least the others don't do it. Perhaps he is more stressed than we know, or perhaps he is just a jerk.
Sometimnes it's a decision you make as waiting to "feel" it isn't going to happen
Ok remove that last line and place it at the end of the first paragraph
otherwise it doesn't make sense
^I'd wondered, EP!
whether this is gways blog or not, it doesnt matter, kapunua...she/he came here to share a thought and you have ridiculed her for it. is this a poetry blog? noooo, but you feel ok posting that here...maybe she needed someone to talk to or share her feelings with...you should be ashamed at jumping down her throat...lots of people post open letters here, for people who will never read them...
Oh, give it a rest anon.
Anon, you might want to re-read my comment. I actually encouraged that person to say what was on their mind. I also said that it wasn't Gerard's blog and he wasn't going to get the message.
If I had ridiculed them I would have said something like, "Anon, you're are a total tool." Kinda like what I'm saying to you right now.
And you should be ashamed for jumping down my throat, when what I actually did was encourage the person to share their thoughts. Oh, but you're an anon! There's no reason for you to have any shame, is there?
Hi Martha!
hows 32 feeling?
Good evening ladies. I hope it's okay to ask for some help. I am considering taking my 10 year old to see mcr in April. She really wants to go, but I know how they are live. I would love some thoughts and opinions on this.
Thanks also to those who answered my last question.
anon where was the ridicule?
I do think you misread somewhere
Hi, fanmom.
Is your ten year old all right with being told to moan and fake an orgasm for the lead singer? Then dude, bring her along! It's up the parents' discretion.
fanmom I think 10 is too young to see any rock band, a great many, not just MCR, say and do things on stage that I would consider inappropriate for that age, perhaps buy her the DVD set when it comes out.
I just think 10 is way too young.
MCR aren't kid-friendly anymore.
fanmom I would read the review and watch the videos on youtube. Get a feel for what he is doing and decide from there.
I myself am thinking of going to the SF show.
MJ,
Didn't the tix for that go on sale today? Or was that another Cali date?
I don't like GW stage antics but I will say this.
You can give GW the finger if he acts like an ass.
Besides in the case of taking a young girl it isn't as bad as what some of the female pop singers act at their show.
It comes down two the lesser of two evils.
Do you want her to be possibly told to make sex sounds or learn how to act like a slut.
FanMom:
I would love to say, "Take her. It'll be the best show of her life," but in good conscience, I can't do that.
I can't even make myself want to go anymore.
But, in all fairness, take a look at some of the reviews that are coming out from these recent concerts. See what the kids are Ooooing and Ahhhing over, then make your best judgement call.
It's entirely up to you.
But I don't think MCR ever were that kid friendly, sure they had the shows where they'd try not to swear but any band except for a specific teeny fan band ( say like sclub7 etc) I think swears too much and the condoning of alcohol, sex, violence or drug taking in stage comments which is done by so many bands is inappropriate for a child of 10.
They went on sale today. They are $83 a ticket for the balcony.
My friend and I have to see if we can get the days off first.
This really sucks cause I used to work at that place with my mom.
If she were still alive I cold get in for free and go back stage.
You know what?
This makes me sick.
And for what it's worth, I hope to hell he sees this. I hope he sees people telling enquiring individuals to think about taking a young fan to their shows now.
That's sickening that I even had to say that.
MJ I agree there are things done and said by some female performers and many many rap/ urban performers that would make me much sicker than anything Gerard has done.
Ergoproxy thats what I thought. I am sure she would love seeing them live, but you never know what Gerard will say or do. She is very mature in her tastes and she tends to like the same things much older kids like. She is so far past the Hanna Montana stage it's scary. I am really trying to hold her back and keep her young, but it is not easy.
Ep I have worked at a lot of concerts in the pass. MCR may not be Disney kid friendly but if all they do is say the word fuck I would take her.
It is up to the parent to decide what words they don't want the child to hear. And as far as swear words go they are on the CD. So she has heard them already.
I checked ticketmaster and they were 35 in the upper balcony.
But I don't think MCR ever were that kid friendly,
I meant my comment more to adress the comment Gerard once made about MCR shows being a safe place for kids to go. Even if there weren't the swearing and the sexual innuendo, I don't see them being that safe place anymore.
you're welcome fanmom it's hard when you have a kid like that (mine is 6, maturing faster than I like and would adore a concert) but you have to think about her mind which , though mature, is still 10, tell her when she is perhaps 15/16 she can go to a concert. Be prepared for wailing and gnashing of teeth , but she'll cope, and the DVD may be a nice alternative
Shit let me check again.
MJ I know kids can hear that, goodness they'd have to live in a box not to, but I just think kids should grow up more before they do these things. Have a better world understanding to place their experiences into. Parents have to choose what their kids experience but they have to remember they are only kids and still have a lot of growing up to do.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Sometimes as a parent you need some back-up.
*whistles*
*hears echo*
Yep, Gerard Way - conversation killer.
Well, I'm going to go soak in a hot fragrant bubble bath. Then I'm going to give myself a manicure & pedicure - see if I don't! 0_0
Chat later :)
hey RW I was just on emails
GW = convesation killer so.....
lets talk about Ray!
you have a nice bath RW sounds delightful!
So I got the tickets.
Okay so when I first went to see how much the tickets were the place I went to sent me to some ticket dealer and they were charging 83 each ticket. I hate when people do that shit.
Martha,
Did you go through ticketmaster?
How many people does that venue hold?
Have a nice bath RW
One for the road.
MJ you got tickets!!
fantastic, I am thinking of going to Foo Fighters and taking hubby, he went to his first rock concert last year (silverchair) and I want to introduce him to MY world!
It's not a very big one. It used to be a speakeasy in the 30's.
It holds about 2000 people
Wooo thanks RW !!!!!
MJ,
That gets me so excited. I can't wait to see them again. I still think we may have to go as far as Memphis if they don't add more dates, but that's okay.
I'm off for a bath too.
See you guys in a little bit.
see you sdock
I hope you get to see them as well.
SD
Wow I saw them as late B day gift for my 31 and now I will see them as a late b day gift for my 32.
Well because the anon addressed GW here goes.
Hey Gerard,
SD10 needs a concert closer to her and I would ask that you act like a gentleman at the concert I'm going to and the one fanmom might take her daughter to.
Thank you
MJ,
Thanks for trying to get Gerard to play a show near me.
Gerard, Listen to MJ. She is wise beyond her 32 years of age. She knows what she's talking about.
Thank you SD. I hope he is listening.
Mayo,
What ya doin'? How ya doin'? Did your Sunday shape up to be just the kind of day you needed? Mine was good. I did get a few things accomplished. Some stuff I put off until next Sunday. Muahahah...and the cycle continues. I never learn.
*tap, tap, tap*
That's me pushing my own buttons this time. Trying to motivate myself to get my ass out of this bucket of cement and out of this hole. Anybody got any hand tools I can borrow to chip away at this shit? I poured it on pretty thick and I'm not sure if I can get my feet out. Might need a jackhammer or something. I wonder how many chances I will get. Signs are everywhere. Why do I disregard them?
Maybe because it's easier to stay where I am than to risk failure. To be myself. But I am forever by myself. Even with him, I feel lonely and out of place. Uncomfortable. Always holding back my true self. Does he have any idea how messed up and broken I really am? If I left him, could I find the strength to put my pieces back together again? Would I begin to let myself be happy? I'm scared to death to find out.
There...I said it. I am fucking scared of the unknown. It's much easier to stay in my safe little hole. I'm used to the dirt and the mess. And it's all mine.
Fucked up? Yes indeedy it is, my friend. Yes, it is.
But, at least I see the rope now. Will I grab it and pull myself out?
Well, you will just have to stay tuned....
Mayo, may you always be able to find your way out of even the most desperate of situations and always keep your own happiness in perspective.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Tired of having dirty hands.
BOO
IS THERE ANYBODY HERE?
And again, silence falls.
What the fuck do you think, Fimble?
not for long tho dirty bird
arghhhhhhh fuck10, how the fuck are you fucking today you fucking hot fucking miss
O_O
Weird, Fimble.
Mustard,
It's nice how we show up at the exact same time.
Almost like we planned this shit.
well it is crazy and we did plan it cos we were all in our heads at the same time. didnt you know.
so whats been cooking today then?
I am pretty fucking good Fimble, how the fuck are you?
fucking grand fuck10, just fucking watching castaway and its fucking amazzzzzzing
And we totally didn't.
Weird shit, eh? Seems that rope thing really works.
Like, more than I imagined.
Fimble,
We've been cooking lots o'shit today.
We've talked about everything under the sun.
really, omg i missed it.
i was at the beach then i came home and watched the race. fist time watchin it and i liked it. good stuff
Fimble,
Princess is so sad that Tony Stewart didn't win, but it was a good race.
i saw smoke for the first time and i was like
'ohhhhhh thats princess's man' but he did have a good race.
OMG, Fimble's on the loose!!
0_0
Yeah, she just wished he had won.
I wish he'd cut that greasy hair.
Hahhaha!
It's so quiet tonight.
I wonder where everyone has trailed off to?
I want to watch a movie.
hahaha, i think if he did win then he was going to let people cut his hair. he said it in his interview.
rw, fimtastic is never on the loose. just having a run thats all ;)
So how many comments do we have to reach to beat the Mayo record?
splash, castaway is on. i am watching it. i just love the main character.
wilson!
he is a ball with a painted on face which the paint is blood. gotta love imaginary friends hahahaha
Yeah Mustard, it's creepy quiet.
Mayo, what you doing?
I'm about to head off to bed myself in a few mins.
fasc found out that the record was 3555 i think. so we have a bit more to go
Another 359 or so, Sdock.
bed, this early. whoa
If we get a good rant going on I'm sure we can do it ;)
I love my imaginary friends!
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