Collared Green
I will not be drawn
By your lead.
While you push, push, push
Your finger into my chest,
Bruising your insolence into my collarbone.
Blue radiating to my shoulder, and then arm to hand
Where the green takes hold.
Eating away at my flesh
Working in tandem with the air
To fuel disintegration
Until my fingers fall off.
Until my eyes fill and follow
The trail of digits, divided
Along the cement, among the shoulders.
Go on about your day now.
Take a deep breath of air
Feel it pull, pull, pull
My pestilence into your mouth
Burning your disdain down your throat.
Blue radiating to your lungs, and then heart and soul
Until your eyes turn green.
Until you can no longer see
I lick my wounds down to the knuckle
And I will wax without device.
p.s. beneath an ocean.
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2,774 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2201 – 2400 of 2774 Newer› Newest»One more thing:
Possum: I would like to put aside my 'pissed off-ed-ness' for a moment to say THANK YOU to you too!
Although I am not feeling very sunshiney at the moment, I did have a great night being ACED OUT!
I have pictures and videos to share
(of Ace and band - not of what went on at The Dungeon afterwards!)
YIKES and I'm not sitting in that booth until it is thoroughly disinfected!
Even I WAS SHOCKED, LOL!!!!!!!!
Hugs and love (to those who did not accuse me of lying)!
~and still, I say
~ NAMASTE~
6/Wendy
Hey safe!
How’ve you been?
I almost forgot: Congratulation PH!
I'm well Bella and yourself?
Don't worry Wendy. I know that wasn't nice to read about yourself but the nasty anon will be pickng on someone else tomorrow so please don't let it effect you. You know it's proberly a 14 year old with nothing better to do. Let it be like water off a ducks back. The family knows you would never lie.
Safe on the Waves
I'm okay, a bit upset because of those anons. Their attitudes really piss me off.
Thank you for asking though. ;)
Asshole Anons will always be around. Ignore them! They aren't worth a second of anyone's time, they feed of cruelty, distruction and chaos like pathetic scavengers.
Safe on the Waves
You’re right safe, but I understand it could be difficult to ignore them sometimes. They can be really mean...
I know but if they are ignored, they'll go away.
Safe on the Waves
I truly hope so, safe.
Anyway, I'm off. I'll have an exam next Thursday and I have to go and study. *sigh*
It was nice chatting with you.
See you around!
*HUG*
Guys, wish you a great Sunday.
Catch you all later.
Love you!
*Hug* You too. Good luck with the revision.
Safe on the Waves.
Mayo
I did in fact write you an goodnight last night but them I never posted it. I was afraid I would and then delete. I know how you feel about that. Well I've thought about it all night, haven't slept and well what the fuck. Here is is, why not?
Holy Shit Mayo,
It just won’t stop. The Anon’s are turning family members against each other and so they win. True colors are shown to be faded. What I believed to be real was just false hope. Pickled Possum has come in and explained just how the “impossible” could be “possible”. Think anyone will listen? Guess we could cross our fingers and out toes but I’m not holding out much hope.
I feel sadness beyond words. Not just because of the crumbling of what I once thought of as family but something else.
Did you see our “watcher” come in and explain the game? Yeah, we are the main event. We’ve been putting on a show for these people. And what a show it’s been for the last few days. I’d excuse myself again and flip them off but what is the point? That would be entertaining too no doubt.
The thing that really hurts though Mayo is that I’ve lost my safe place. I could write my stupid goodnight to you and it made me feel better. Like maybe there had been some point to my day. I could share with you my feelings of anger, happiness, despair and hope. That’s gone now. Never again will I mention my family. (Sorry watchers they aren’t for your entertainment) Besides Mayo you didn’t really need to hear about my stupid life anyway. I’m sure you’ve got enough of your own shit to deal with.
I will stay here because I promised you that Mayo. I will be there for anyone who reaches out. Not sure if I can help them but I always try. But I will not reach out to anyone with my own problems. I know I’m pathetic. I don’t need a bunch of people discussing my life to validate that fact.
I am sorry Mayo. I will miss talking to you. You will never know the debt of gratitude I owe you. Oh, I’ll still write you a goodnight. It will just be with a different voice. It will be the voice I use in my “real” life. The false one. The voice that says thing are just fine.. No problems here. It’s all-good. Nope, no sharing my true feelings for the watchers. I’ll be fucking Elena sunshine. See I can do it. I’ve been doing it for years.
Night Mayo.
Elena (empty)
Mayo and all of BlogBelieve (this includes family members, friends, pets, lurkers, watchers, anons, people who have left, people who have came back, people with multiple names, people with initials for names, people with nicknames, and anyone and everyone else that will feel left out):
I hope everyone is doing well today. Me? Why thank you for asking. I am just peachy. For real.
So what can I say except....wow. How disappointing that it has come to this. I would like to thank all of the people who came to my defense. You are true friends and you know who you are. Next thing, the accusations being tossed around here about me and PPU are ridiculous. Why are they ridiculous? I work all day and wasn't even here when the supposed comment/deleted anon comment showed up. Number 2, I don't get involved in that kind of drama. I could care less. I come here to say what I have to say and most of the time I leave. Number 3, I have no beef with the OP's or anyone here that I would want to plan some blogger hacker hoax to push you out. Number 4, I wouldn't even know how to hack someone's account. Number 5, and you should all know this by now, I'm just not that kind of person.
OP's, I will address you as OP's because I don't even know which one of you is here and which one left and which one is accused of doing what. If you have a problem with me, then take it up with me.
My friendship with PPU has been brought into question many times. Go to DM and read my poem. If some of you don't like it or don't understand it, oh well, oh well, oh well. PPU has been nothing but a good friend to me and my sister. And if it's one thing you can bet about PPU, you will always know exactly where you stand. No pretending. No sugarcoating. No lying. Maybe we're such good friends because I try like hell in here to treat everyone the same no matter who I am talking to. Most in here know that I'm the real deal and I think PPU is too.
Orange Little Bees...this is the most absurd thing ever. MissT, Mustard and I were playing a little game of I-spy/hangman on the porch. MissT's was GOOD FRIENDS. Then it was my turn. I looked around the porch and say orange little bees. That's all there is to that. It has nothing to do with the crap going on here. Sometimes things are so simple and you would know the truth if you just asked someone.
Well, I guess that's it for now.
Mayo, sorry I had to use this time to you to try and clear my tarnished name.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. REPEATED AGAIN....With all the finger pointing, I can barely hear you anymore!!
Hello everyone!
Just stopping by to ask a question.
First I want you to know that I still don't know what was going on the other night with the OP's and this infamous comment. I haven't even read it.
But when I read that some people here think that PPU and/or some other person(s) could be some whizkids, who have the skills to hack the OP's blogger account I really wondered why they didn't already hack Mayo's account or even SS's?
Hmm, just asking!
I think PP's right by saying that blogger is a bitch sometimes.
I still don't have an answer as to why.
I'm not emailing anyone.
It needs to be here so everyone can see.
Too fucking bad my plan to keep this shit OUT of Mayo's didn't work, because he sure as hell wouldn't want to read all of this.
All I want to know is why Sdock (or any of the others that were playing that game) is being accused of hacking in the OPs account.
That's all I want to know.
First of all, happy birthday, Da!
Well, WOW.
So how about this, then: If that was some kind of weird, Blogger screw up (possible? Yes. Unlikely? Also. I have seen the accidental name switch and that wasn't it,) then why doesn't the person who was trying to write that comment come forward and say, "Yeah, that was me; Blogger screwed up."
Logic, right? Right.
As far as blaming Sdock, Princess, MissT, Splash, and hell, even PPU for being behind this: OH MY GOD. Aside from the fact that, hey Sdock, I had no idea you were 133+, $0/\/ !!1111oneoneone, just, no. And I wouldn't say anything about that suggestion if it were merely stupid, but it's also mean and desperate. Of course I'm not going to pull the "Oh no you didn't I am tough and will hunt you down" thing because, oh hi, internet, where threats are like farting in a windstorm. But just, no.
There's more, but it's nice, and this post is too pissed off to mix in the nice stuff.
Hey Splash. I know you want to know why. I do not.
Anyway, hi there, Mayo. (Because if I bold your name, you'll, you know, see it better. ;D ) Dude, I'm just really sorry. I'm sure we'll go on from here because we always do, but you know, it's an all-time low and I don't think it's going to be forgotten, necessarily.
Anyways, I hope you are having a decent weekend and this is so much buzzing in the background to you. Maybe you will write a nice poem about the moon or flowers or hoppy little springtime bunnies or something. You know, you usual happy, fluffy, light sensibility. And from there we can spend some time going "But what did he mean by 'orthopedic underwear?' Is he saying we're his support in times of exertion?" Like we used to.
S(S)S, I hope that this won't make you stay away. I know you're not into the drama and all of this, but please know that we're not all digging this hole. Also, this has been an open community discussed in many places since its inception. Nothing has changed, you know? Please, when you get the time, please come back, say "Hi guys, I'm fine, it's all good."
Hello to anyone lurking and I hope you have a fine Sunday. I'm happy to report that it is really effing cold here and the snow hasn't melted yet. This is what winter should be like, all cold and crap.
Has anyone heard anything about Frankles? I'm still holding out hope that he went home for his wedding or some other happy reason.
Hello there, Mustard.
I may not have the right to speak as I wasn't around when all of this happened, but I reall think that this was just a weird coincidence.
I remember when Elena told us once that she could see those little tool icons on Mayo's blog page.
You usually only see those when you're signed in to your own blog.
Weird stuff.
*suddenly hears X-files theme*
Freaking Out Anon: Please just try to make your point once. Only because this new page thing is so screwy, it makes it harder to read back and see stuff that we have said to Mayo and to other people who aren't around as often as some of us. Anon, the ones of us who get it, get it. The ones of us who don't are not going to. Just move on and stop using up pages, okay? It screws up the comments.
I have this wild, fantastic fantasy that one time Mayo will post something, leave it for three days, and it will have under 2000 comments.
I know I'm guilty of bumping the comments a lot when my friends and I goof off doing sillyass games, so maybe I shouldn't talk. But the constant repetition just takes up space. I heard you the first time; so did a few others and that's really all you can ask.
Courtesy, is all. Mmmkay?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY K
Thank you, You Fimbleness! ^_^ And thanks also to those of you on DM wishing my Da a happy birthday, too. You guys are da BIZZOMB. One might even go so far as to say, the BIZZOMB DIGGITY.
In other news, Ralph Nader needs to stop. I used to be all about this guy when he started this three terms ago. I was a lot more naive back then. But now, not only can I see how he will steal the extreme left vote (not MY extreme left vote, but others who feel like I did three terms ago,) and take an important section away from the democratic candidate, but I also really question his motives.
I just want to shake him and say "Please don't." Can't he see that our only hope is in unifying the liberal vote? Why doesn't he get it? We're going to be stuck with mcCain, I just know it. GOD!!!
Credit goes to Bexless; stolen from LJ. Apologies for using without permission.
Something to cheer everyone up. If you don't laugh at these you are an automaton. I swear, I nearly made myself sick laughing. Bexless, you are a god/dess.
I have no words
Okay, I had another dream about this blog this morning and I was lying there thinking, "I really have to remember this," but I totally forgot anyway. It had something to do with Mayo writing a list of things on the profile page, and one of them was about not eating steak, but that's all I can remember. It was a numbered list and there were four items, and four was the one about the steak. WTF?
Okay, so here's something I know will cheer you up, Mayo. Let's forget about Ralph Nader crashing the election for just now, let's forget about the blogdrama and madcrazy accusations of hackery and remind ourselves, daily, Mayo:
SUPER SMASH BROTHERS BRAWL COMES OUT IN TWO WEEKS.
Don't try to hide your excitement, Mayo. I know you're going to play as Peach or Yoshi. I'm going to play as Link and I'm going to kick your ass so bad. Just you remember that.
Kapunua please wish your dad a happy birthday for me.
Actually Mummy K will probably tell him. ^_^ Thanks.
Apologies;
Happy Birthday Daddy K
Don't forget it's Berts tomorrow!
And belated congratulations to PH on becoming an Auntie.
I hope Mummy and Baby Emily are both well.
I want to get Bert a day at the spa.
sdock 10-please read
I feel compelled to talk to you today as I know you are one of the most genuine people here and I cannot stand aside, without comment, and allow people attempt to discredit you.
The sad truth is that in any group of people there will always be those who will want to control-regardless whether they have the wit, talent or personality to actually lead. The usual method of doing this is by singling the popular people, eg you and kapunua, out and trying to discredit them by trying to place a seed of doubt about your integrity or make them look small by making mountains out of innocuous comments and just not letting it go. In the real world we recognise this as bullying.
Please don't let the bullies win!
I believe that Anons are essential to the longevity of this blog. Nobody, other than Mayo, owns this blog and therefore only he/she/them have the right to say they do not want somebody here. New people are always needed to breathe life and interest otherwise it gets stale, boring and repetitious; it also means that a few people can feel they are in control.
Of course I abhor the behaviour of Anons (most of whom I believe are named regulars-just my personal opinion)who are abusive. Their treatment of BC has been outrageous (honey, if you are reading please try to ignore them-bullies crave attention and maybe by ignoring them they will disappear). However I think it is important to acknowledge the behaviour of some of the named regulars here-I have seen instances of pure hatred and aggression over the last few months. This is not normal behaviour and I worry about what they must be like in their real lives. People can only pretend to be lovely for so long, eventually our true selves will sneak through-warts and all. There are only a few but I can see those people here.
SD, I was here as an Anon a few days ago-I was in a hurry but had to say it- when I said I was saddened at bitterness shown towards men-this was not directed to you. When I posted some people immediately challenged my presence however you were so gracious and invited me to talk about me. In that moment you exhibited a truly pure human spirit with a genuine interest in others. That is what makes you special.
I wish people could live and let live.
Take good care.
EB37 x
Thank you for that, EB. You are lovely.
Thank you K-it's been a long time coming!
I hope all is good with you and a very Happy Birthday to your Dad.
Have a lovely Sunday. x
EB,
Thank you so much for that. You have no idea how much your words today have meant.
Just..thank you and if you ever need someone to talk to, please find me.
You are a lovely person.
I agree, O Ye Of The Awesome Screen Name. And thank you for the birthday wishes for my Da. :)
Laundry. I should totally do some.
Mayo, the offer still stands: Super Smash: You = Peach, me = Link, me kicking your ass.
K i read your story to mayo whilst trying to find out what the hell has happened here. Hope you didnt mind. Then i realised who you were talking about and it left me speechless. I dont really have anything to say but i think you are an amazing person Jules. Just wanted you to know that.
SIM, you are also a lovely person. That story wasn't just for Mayo, I mean writing it here puts it out there for everyone. ^_^ It was because Mayo, well, didn't exactly ask, but did say that there was no context so yeah. Thank you. :D
Whoa, I have been telling myself I'm going to fold my laundry for about an hour now so I can get it off the sofa and sit my ass down and play a game or two on this quiet Sunday and I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I mean, it's been there for days. I don't mind doing laundry but I hate folding it. I wish those bastards would fold themselves.
K said......
"Has anyone heard anything about Frankles? I'm still holding out hope that he went home for his wedding or some other happy reason."
It's not looking good K. The buzz on Buzznet is that Frank's other grandmother has passed away. Apparently two MCR body guards confirmed it to a reporter in Chille. Like I said, my laughable source is Buzznet so hopefully it's not true. Poor Frank and family. :(
Safe on the Waves
Gosh, Safe, I really hope not. That'd be just too much.
Here's the quote from Buzznet:
"Everything leads to another tragedy...on our beloved Frankie's life T_T
It seems that his other grandma has passed away as two body-guards from the band confirmed the story in the hotel of Buenos Aires and a famous jornalist, Mario Pergolini said he couldn't say anything more but he did confirm the story."
^That was me! Forgot to put my name on it.
Yes, it's awful to lose someone. Let alone lose 2 people you love within 3 months. Poor guy.
Safe on the Waves
Man.
That is so unfortunately sad.
He and his family will be in my thoughts. It's a true shame.
Poor frank :/
Oh man. I swear, this dude cannot catch a break, wtf? I can only imagine how I'd feel to lose my Grandma; it would break my heart.
Wish there was a way to send our condolences but I will just throw out to the universe: Frankles and family, my best thoughts are with you.
Bloody Hell.
Sending my thoughts and sincerest condolences to Frank. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think grandparents are the hardest to lose, aside from the obvious answer of parents.
They're the people that are there to feed you right. They know everything under the sun and they teach you things you would have never learned on your own.
They tell you how hard it was to walk to school, uphill both ways...in the snow. Their eyes, worn, have a beauty that can't be explained. And most of the time, we strive to be like them.
Frank, so sorry man. I've been there, but it doesn't hurt any less. Sincerest condolences.
My Gran is 88 and a little, uhh, imaginative. ^_^ My friend at work says she is "away with the fairies." I like that saying a lot. Especially 'cause my Gran is really into fairies and elves and stuff like that.
Like, her dreams are very vivid (due in part to some of her medication) and so she'll sometimes think they have really happened. My Gran lives the apartment over from me, and when I see her outside with her huge mastiff dog she'll be like, "Did you put kittens in my house last night?"
Uhh, no Gran. I don't have any kittens. Maybe you dreamed it?
Then sometimes she'll ask, "Did you have a party last night? Because people were talking to me through my window."
I always say, "I didn't. But were any of them hot? If there were cute guys out there Gran, you need to tell me." Then she laughs it off.
She's got a wicked sense of humor and her own way of doing things.
I was devastated when I lost my Grampa back in '99, and even though every loss is different, there are some aspects that are similar and you can say, "I know what you're going through and it sucks."
Yeah, it really does suck.
Aw, Jules. That's great the way you interact with her. I love elderly people. They embody this other level of awesome.
Losing someone is so hard. We all have to deal with death, so in a way, it makes us all connected like you said. But, it still hurts. Even though you know people that have dealt with the same thing you have, it just hurts and there aren't really any "good" words to say to comfort someone.
It's just terrible all the way around, you know?.
My sincerest condolences goes out to Frank and his family. Poor guy. Yet another loss to deal with :/
By the way, i dont know if this is old news or not but i got an email from kat (GV) shes ok. i havent caught up properly so i dont know if you all know or not.
This morning I emailed SDock and Mustard trying to explain what I saw happening the past two nights. I also told them that if SDock told me she had nothing to do with it, I would take her on faith and apologize publicly.
SDock, I apologize for any implication that was made regarding your involvement in this fiasco. Kapunua, I apologize to you as well for bringing you into that discussion in the email.
Even if my apologies are unwanted, I have given them.
L and I have been falsely accused of doing something that we did not do either. Yet many people don't believe me when I say that we are innocent. The "proof" that "supports" the accusations was an email generated by Blogger after that message got our name linked to it. Nobody hacked into Blogger, I never said that they did.
Why, after six months of trying to help people, to offer advice, to be supportive and kind, would either one of us suddenly turn around and post such a hateful comment, for no reason? Does anyone remember a few months ago when we were so angry about things that L posted, on our own blog, "FUCK 'EM ALL!!!!!" If we did that then, under our own names, why would we feel the need to be anonymous now?
More than likely my words won't matter to anyone. They'll either get overlooked or read and disbelieved. But I wanted to put it out there anyway.
I'd like to be able to forget that someone wants us gone so badly that they would call our integrity into question. But I know I never will. No one will ever apologize to us for accusing us falsely. The people that have issues with us will never be brave enough to tell us as themselves.
BTW, Elena, your comment to Mayo this morning broke our hearts. Because it's true. The safety of our retreat has been compromised, and it's a war zone now, not a haven.
One last question for the group:
After all the dust settles, will anybody remember the incident that started this avalanche?
Cause I know the Punks will.
J
BC, good to see you back as BC again. why were you asking me if i felt better? that had me a little miffed ive been fine. are you ok?
Hey OPJ i have no idea what is going on but everyone should make peace not war. Dont leave.
OP's don't leave. I love reading your opinions. I remember when I first started talking to Fimble on BN and we were talking about the family. I told that some of the women on here have really inflencd me to be a better person and see things from others point of view. She then asked me who's comments I liked reading the most. I said to her that I always like reading yours and L's comments. She agreed at how great you were. That's how loved and appreaciated you both are here. If you choose to leave, I'll be disappointed, but I'll understand. I just wish you wouldn't. I've learn a lot from everyone here. Especially you two.
Safe on the Waves
Hello there OP's!
I'm sorry if I upset you with the things I wrote a few hours ago.
I should have kept my big mouth shut.
I know that neither of you two would post something as an anonymous and not admit it!
You two are one of the few people here, who have the guts to speak their minds even if it sounds unpleasant to others and you have always shown more balls than others, when it comes to being self-reflexive and admitting errors.
You two are very strong women.
Don't leave!!
hi guys!
hello mayo and SS!
ok alot of shit has gone down but i'm just popping in to say that i'm back from my weekend away. i missed you guys loads!
can't stop but will be around tomorrow.
poor frank so sad to hear. bless him.
love to all gotta fly!
good morning everyone kapunua - many happy returns to your father
mustard BC safe Sim GS FASC siobhan EB J bella elena whatever anons lurk
that is such a shame for Frank, he has a strong family and I'm sure can pull together.
Hi Ergo!
How are you and things in Oz?
Safe on the Waves
pretty good thanks safe, nice and sunny
I have tutoring this morning and my parents are up for a week from tomorrow afternoon
so my blogging will be restricted
how's things in your part of the world
England's okay. It's winter here but actually quite warm. How long are your parents staying for?
Safe
for a week then I have my cousin who is working here for 6 weeks.
You're a clever man, Mayo.
In this one post you managed to address some issues here, play our "what did you do as children" game and score one point for you being 'murrican instead of British.
I'm sorry it took me so long. ^_^
Ghost In The Graveyard was better though.
I'm off folks I have tutoring and I'll be back later
take care and nice to havea quick chat safe! have a good night.
Happy Birthday, Daddy K!
Tomorrow is Bert's. Are we going to do something? 'Cause it's Bert effing McCracken, people, c'mon now. You hobosexuals know.
*waves to watchers*
Well, I don't know about the rest of ya's, but I'm getting Herbert a certificate for a day at the spa.
And in honor of his birfday, I may play only Used music tomorrow.
And I may go so far as to make Bert noises.
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GERAAAAARD!"
How did I not think of that game?
K, you make me feel so stupid. ;)
Ghost in the Graveyard was better. I still remember our conversation from a long time ago.
My sleeves are clean and dry
But I follow your path
Under the ink dark moon.
It looks black
In the dark
But I know
It's your mark
And I trail,
A few days behind.
A pond hides uselessly
In the dim marsh--
I wrote of foxfire
And my desire to say:
Don't look up by yourself
To a heavenly bridge of birds;
Don't look up by yourself.
In your court
After the party,
A floating woman
Leaves her fan.
(What) will you write on it?
The trail I see now
Is red, organic,
And at the end of it,
A mirror,
And behind it,
Shadows.
Flash, spark, fuel, ignite
And ash obliterates your last light.
Thank you for the birthday wishes! Mummy K says to say that Daddy K said, "Bah humbug to this birthday stuff." Also that he was only kidding.
Usually when someone calls him to say "Happy birthday" he says, "Mind your own damn business, okay pal?"
^_^
And Happy Birthday to your pops!
Bert's is tomorrow. Awwww. We should celebrate.
....
I really do not know what to say about everything that has happened. I'm sorry there are people hurting. I love all of you...the ones I know. And I trust you guys.
I wish I could magically make everything better.
My thoughts are with Frank as well. Always.
Kapunua, what do you make of 'beneath an ocean?'
Or Mayo, if you care to elaborate, that would be awesome too.
Kapunua, another thing...when I found out about Nader, I thought the same thing. I looked over at my husband and said, 'oh no, please no'... I understand exactly where you are coming from.
Blind Man's Bluff is also a book about submarine espionage....so..uhhhh, I caught that reference.
So beneath an ocean could have to do with that.
Hey Anima,
How ya feeling today?
Niiiice, Sdock! ^__^
Thank you also Anima. And yeah, gosh, I had forgotten about Nader until just now and how he's going to hijack the important left vote. (Not mine, not this time; I made that mistake once.) If memory serves he did not make it to the actual elections last time though, did he? Or was he a third party candidate too? I just remember about his concession and that he looked sad and I felt sort of badly for him. But Nader always looks kind of sad, I dunno.
He's just going to hijack a lot of votes and he will vault McCain directly into office.
So now I'm really nervous.
I feel so terrible about Frank. My thoughts and hugs go out to the poor kid.
If that is the case, it was buzznet.
HAPPY JAPPY BIRTHDAY BERTIE McCRACKLES
26, you old duffer!!
I'm biologically old enough to be your Mum :S
Good night Mayonaise.
I hope life is treating you well. Get some sleep lamb, as shall I. I feel we are all going to need it in the days to come.
Save on the Wave said....
Don't worry Wendy. I know that wasn't nice to read about yourself but the nasty anon will be pickng on someone else tomorrow so please don't let it effect you. You know it's proberly a 14 year old with nothing better to do. Let it be like water off a ducks back. The family knows you would never lie.
==============================
Thank you Safe on the Waves!
And, you are correct. Anyone who REALLY knows me or the OPs knows we would not lie.
We are human, and reading those accusations DO hurt. And, I think we are entitled to get angry every now and then! I think WE are entitled to defend our friends/family and ourselves against falsehoods.....
Blogger does have glitches. Anyone remember the night blogger listed Anonymous123's (or some other number) RECIPE as a post from me?
I pointed out at the time that I did not make that post AND she pointed out the error at the time.
We then had a lovely conversation about how I didn't want her to think I was trying to steal/take credit for her recipe.
She then said I could steal a recipe from her anytime!
(Just trying to REFRESH people's memories about what happened that night and HOW IT COULD happen again).
I also believe Sdock! She said it was an innocent game of hangman/I spy, that's good enough for me (makes perfect sense too)!
The problem I'm still having is WHY are some so willing to defend one or two or three and NOT OTHERS?
Hmmm.....
Hugs and love (to those who need and/or want)!
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Testing, testing.
I don't want anyone to flip their crap; I'm trying to sign in through LJ because I don't really use Blogger for much aside from stories and poems, which everyone's read already and it doesn't really link mack to me.
I'm not sure how easy this will be to mess with though, and if I can still delete stuff if I have like a thousand typos or whatever.
So, yeah. Test.
Hello Wendy
Always good to see you. You make some excellent points to ponder.
Hi Elena! Thank you yet again!
You made some excellent pondering points yourself! :D
I'm trying to upload some of my Ace videos and it's taking forever.
Must show the 'young uns' how a legend does things.
;-)
How are you today, love?
Feeling any better?
"Wax without device," lol. I swear, I slay myself. I don't know why I still find that so funny. I'm such a simple creature.
Well, back to zombies! Who knew there was a whole 'nother game as a different character after you finish the first one. Hootah!
Sorry Wendy I wandered off.
I am here. I am fine.
That's okay Elena. *big hug*
I'm doing a little wandering too!
I think my videos MIGHT be uploaded (on Blogger) by the end of March!
I'm happy to see you're still here!
And, I hope you really, really are fine....
Just as fine as when Mayo says the same thing.
Is he? Am I?
Ohmygod Fim pointed me to the watchers post.
all i can say is wow!!! Thats amazing and scary and everything haha im speechless.
Cant get my head around it but its kinda cool.
It really is a comfort to know that I'm not the only one that does that.
It even makes me smile when I say it because I know I've convinced myself.
Mind over mind is what I say.
I thought you might have meant that in "Mayo-speak", Elena.
E-mail me if you want to talk about it.
Yeah, It's getting more and more difficult to feel the love/family/safety round here. :(
Hello SIM and MIB! How are you ladies tonight?
I must admit that I don't really have a problem with "The Watchers".
I had a feeling we were being 'watched' all along - being a public blog where anyone in the world could read what's written here.....
I would hope that "The Watchers" are not getting any joy/pleasure out of any pain expressed here, though!
I don't think they are. I think we are just a bunch of interesting people and we have enchanted/intrigued "The Watchers".
I think they are cheering us all on and wishing the best for us!
Yeah, they're addicted to us now!
Ain't ya'll? ;-)
Hey Mustard and SIM
Mayo,
How is everything in your life? I'm hoping it's all good. Mine? Things went okay today. A few snags here and there, but nothing really horrible.
Have you looked around your place lately? It's pretty messy. Even my character was called into question last night. That sucks pretty fucking hard because I have always tried to treat everyone on here the same. I would never intentionally try to hurt anyone...BlogBelieve or real world. It's not in my nature. And to think that people don't know that about me after almost 6 months is disturbing to me. Mayo, I think you know exactly who I am but I also think you know how completely fucked up it is to have your integrity questioned. Words have been shot of mouths like bullets out of guns lately and well, sometimes sorry just doesn't cut it. The damage has already been done and it will take time for those wounds to heal. Bullet proof vests anyone?
Aren't people's fingers beginning to cramp from pointing them at others? Fuck. Give it a rest.
Mayo, I hope you know that I haven't forgotten why I started coming here. I hope you know that I realize you are the one who lets us all stay here. I hope you also see past all the ugliness that has been piling up in here lately and you can still see the beauty that you have helped create.
Because I still do.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Still here for you.
Wow.
This place is dead today.
I'm really sad to hear the news about Frank. I sure hope the guy's alright.
My thoughts are with him and his family.
Mayo, It's pretty hard to miss what's happened these past few days. I'm sure you saw what took place. Pretty disappointing, wouldn't you say?
I'm sorry you had to see that, love.
You too, SS.
We know you never come around when this crap happens. I'm sorry. Please take care of yourself, okay?
Pretty sure I just heard a pin drop.
Yeah. Way too quiet for comfort.
I hope you're doing well, love.
Hi CTV!
Yeah, it is very slow around here tonight. I think there is a lot of disenchantment going around.
My heart goes out to Frank and his family.
It's always difficult to loose someone; but losing two family members so close....
THAT is an extra tough emotional blow.
I hope he and his family are "hanging in there".
I also hope WE can hang on and weather this latest storm....
Hey Wendy!
I should get going now, guys. Goodnight!
Goodnight Mayo.
Goodnight SS.
I'm sorry if I miss you guys.
See you all later.
Elena said...
Pretty sure I just heard a pin drop.
=======================
Elena: How would you like to hear/view some ACE?
YEP, I finally have two of my videos uploaded! YAH for me and any ACE/KISS fans!
Enjoy:
Ace Frehley in New Orleans - Snow Blind and New York Groove
They were fantastic!!!!
Hey guys.
Fucking blogger ate my other comment. So here it is again, to the best of my memory.
Thank you to all for the lovely comments. I couldn't be any more happy. I'm ever so in love with a human being less than a day old. How is that possible? She's the sweetest being ever. My beautiful sister and her daughter are coming home on Tuesday. You can imagine my excitement!
Second; RE: The whole mess.
I don't believe it was the OP's that posted the comment. Remember near the beginning of the Mayonaise blogs, when SS posted logged in? Well there was someone who commented as SS saying... not so nice things. When you clicked his name, it linked back to the SS blogs. It turns out it wasn't SS talking, because this person was pissing the real Shitsubou Shita and everyone off! People thought it was actually him too. I took on SS's name, just to prove it, and linked to his blogs. I clearly stated in bold that it was me, Paperheartxx. It is possible that someone went to Name/URL and typed in Original Punks and put their blog URL in.
I now see that somehow many others were pulled into it; PPU, Sdock, MIB and some others. What the fuck guys? Honestly, the finger pointing has got to stop. The accusations. It's immature and so elementary. Clearly people don't have to like everyone, but can't you just be civilized about it? I see what the anonymous people are saying. I see what the regs are saying. But honestly, I don't care. I just don't want any of my friends to be hurt. And right now, they're hurt. This is when I do care. This isn't what I want to come in here and see. It's supposed to be a place where we can get away from the real-world, and talk like civilized adults like most of you are. (I can't say I'm an adult). This has got to stop. Really.
We've gone through this so many times; you'd think we all would learn the lesson by now.
/rant (if you can call it that)
Love;
- 007
People. The finger pointing went even farther than you all think. Emails got sent around naming, not only SDock, and ppu, but others. I got one of the emails fowarded to me saying that you were all involved in some kind of trick or smear campaign because of when you were or weren't on the blog, who you talked to.... the game you were playing. It wasn't a nice email and not everyone believe it.... In fact most didn't. People got accused of being anonymous and of trying to frame others.
I know if I write this under my name it will get out who those emails got sent to and friendships would be destroyed but I feel I must put this here so everybody knows.... You are being judged because of who you talk to and what time you are on, and other things. I think the "watchers" you need to worry about are other 'family' members because they 'watch' you closely to see if you are part of some little 'gang' or something. I just wanted you to know. You know who you are.
Shadows fall
Darkness blankets
Hidden lies
Hope is dead
Scream for the light
Cry for the truth
Release the past
Hope is dead
Emptiness takes over
Nothingness now reigns
All is lost
Hope is dead
I'm here for a bit.
*makes random noise*
I hate quiet places.
- An Old Friend
Anon at 10:09. Huh? What are you talking about?
Hey Elena! *hug*
Hi anon at 10:10.
Hello Paperheart and whoever the anon who is hard to understand.
- An Old Friend
Paperheart congrats on the new addition to your family.
Hmmm..
I got one of the emails fowarded to me saying that you were all involved in some kind of trick or smear campaign because of when you were or weren't on the blog, who you talked to.... the game you were playing. It wasn't a nice email and not everyone believe it.... In fact most didn't. People got accused of being anonymous and of trying to frame others.
Want to hear something? I come on the blogs when I have time. I have no schedule. I talk to whomever is around. I leave messages for Mayo and SS whenever I can. I don't feel like I belong to any clique or any group. I've never posted as an Anonymous, if I have, it was during and Anon secrets game.
If people want to send emails around trying to figure shit out, that's fine with me. I can't say or do anything to stop them. People can think what they want.
An Old Friend, (AOF) how are you? =]
Awwh thanks Elena! *hug*
It feels great to be an Aunt!
:D
hello all!I'm back from tutoring and it's a hot hot day
wendy about to have a look at the vid you posted
hi elena
Paperheart well said and hugs for the little Emily
Bye CTv
Hi an old friend
an Anon Secret game. Not and.
Ergo, hey there! *hug*
Paperheartxx! Congratulations on the new niece, love!
I kept forgetting to say congrats.
Sorry!
I bet you are going to spoil that niece of your's rotten - as well you should! ;-)
Okay, I'm off to upload more videos - elsewhere now.
It went past trying to figure things out and into conspiracy theories and accusations. And the people who were mentioned should know......
Hello saucy biscuits, I hope you're all well.
I'm afraid I can't stick around to chat right now, but I wanted to remind you all how much I love you.
I'm sorry I've been absent again, I'm just not very well right now.
But you're in my thoughts.
Do email me of you get bored and I've missed a scandal. ;)
All my love to you.
xoxo cupcake
p.s, you too Mayo, and SS. I miss you. <3
Ohh and a HUGE hug to Frank Iero. He'll never get it, but my thoughts are with him.
<3
Oh and P<3, *hugs* That's so exiting!
Damn I wanna stay!
xoxo cupcake
THANKS SIX! *HUG*
Really, this is what I call the happiest day of my life. I'm so proud of my sister for pushing that turkey.. err i mean.. child.. out of her. =]
Anonymous, please explain.
Cupcake! How are you? I've been worried. <3
hey awesome Wendy!
he can still rock! And he looks different witht he facial hair!
thanks so much for taking the time to upload it!
Ok.... so I said to hell with having a shower and read back a few comments. What the hell has been going on?
Anonymous if you know so much, tell all or shut up. You're the one playing games right now.
Hello Ergo, An Old Friend and e-mail anonymous!
Ergo: I posted a linky thingie to some ACE up there for you! How are today, honey bunch? Still stiff and sore? I hope not!
Paperheartxx: I is like you ;-)
I have a very strange/unusual schedule. I post when I can and chat with whoever wants to chat.
And, I pounce, tackle hug and smooch whoever is willing!
Sooooo.....
*pounce, tackle, hug and smooch for those willing to accept*
Okay.....Really am off now!
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start
I'm listening to Coldplay, and those lyrics caught me. Just thought I'd post them. ^_^
hi cupcake nice of you to call by
hope you are ok, take care of yourself
Hey ANON at 10:09 thanks for that info. That's just what we needed to hear.
I heard yesterday that several people were gonna stage an uprising and dethroan Mayo.
Yeah that's what I heard!
God, I'm sick of this shit!
P<3, please don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I have little choice in it. :)
Shit happens, but I have to say again, congratulations! a niece! that's really great.
So what has been happening, may I ask?
Cupcake, I'm as much in the dark as you are. I don't know. I just posted what I thought would make sense. ^_^
Anonymous, I applaud you for saying that. lol.
Six, I'll accept those! ^_^ In general, I love hugs, so it's only natural for me to be all lovey on the blogs and virtually hug you all. Byee<3
i did watch it wendy! thanks
I'm heaps better , still looks icky around the scratches but not sore or swollen like it was before. thanks for asking.
catch you later!
Hey ANON at 10:09 thanks for that info. That's just what we needed to hear.
I heard yesterday that several people were gonna stage an uprising and dethroan Mayo.
Yeah that's what I heard!
God, I'm sick of this shit!
Are you serious Elena? I'm fucking sick of it too. People need to learn how to trust others. People need to learn to put all of there problems out on the table for all to see, just so it doesn't lead to more problems. But then again that may lead to problems. Fuck, people need to learn how to communicate properly. (this coming from a teen who experienced the exact same shit over the past weekend with her real-life friends.)
Please stop beating me.
Hi ergo *hugs*, to hell with food, I'm staying here, I see something not so nice has been going on.
Everyone is ok now though, right?
This is worse than the Oscars. Why can't music cut in sooner?
- An Old Friend
AOF, I'm listening to some MCR? Music is great. I did not watch the Oscars, they bore me. Honestly.
Did you all leave me?
That's fine, I completely understand. You old folk need to get in bed at a certain time. Don't soak your dentures for too long...
KIDDING!
:D
An old friend -
Can you get that music to play? It's what we need.
Paperheart I loved your words. You young wise one!
Hey cupcake.
Deadhorse I'm sorry dude. Don't think you're gonna get any rest.
They bore me as well. You people are much more interesting until the anonymous rants begin.
The best way to make a point is to disclose fact on a situation. You can't expect people to understand a grouping of hints that may or may not be related to one event.
It could just be me... bored and with too much sugar. *shrugs*
- An Old Friend
Hi there elena, old friend, anon, everyone else.
Yes I'm trying to say hello to everyone today, be friendly... I suck at it!
Elena, ^_^ I try my hardest. Basically, it's all just random words thrown together in like a split second. I've learned to say what you mean, and don't regret a single word you say. You can't take anything back, it's always going to be there. Of course, you can regret it, but never to the point where it changes anything.
AOF, bored and with too much sugar? You can never have too much sugar.
I'm still here PH no detures yet :)
I'm bringing in a abit of shopping and pottering about, I have to put a 4 tier shoe rack togther so that should be interesting!
Cupcake, you don't suck at it. ^_^
A soapbox with a collapsing floor might also help.
Or the old hook to pull one off the stage.
- An Old Friend
Ergo, lol. You aren't as old as... ahem.. my father. He's a grandpa now! And already in bed.
AOF, you are interesting. How about if the people weren't so monotone and so staged and if they weren't as prepared? That'd make it better. Spur of the moment things are great.
You're gorgeous P<3.
Speaking of dentures ergo, I have to go to the dentist soon... I expect the worse.
Okay, so the Oscar's got one right. I take back a small part of what I said.
- An Old Friend
Cupcake, you smell sweet. I can smell you from all the way over in Winnipeg!
^_^
What'd they get right?
I can talk until the stars collide. ^_^
Want to hear what makes my day? When random bands I've never heard of add me on Myspace. Honestly, there's about fifty of them so far from the past three weeks. They're all such sweet gents though, and the music is great. I find music far better when the bands are less famous. Then the lyrics are more pure and more of what real people like hearing, not what record labels want. Does that make sense?
I prefer "interested" Paperheart. ;)
- An Old Friend
Do I smell of roses and creamy frosting P<3? I'm told that's what I smell of. lol
AOF, ;) You're so sneaky. I had my suspicions.
Cupcake, of course you do! You smell amazing. And you're in luck, roses are my favorite flowers. White Roses to be exact. They're so uncommon and beautiful. I find that they can say a lot more than red roses.
You make complete sense and I agree with you.
The Oscar's chose the right song to give the Lil Dude to.
- An Old Friend
Want to hear what makes my day? When random bands I've never heard of add me on Myspace. Honestly, there's about fifty of them so far from the past three weeks. They're all such sweet gents though, and the music is great. I find music far better when the bands are less famous. Then the lyrics are more pure and more of what real people like hearing, not what record labels want. Does that make sense?
That makes sense to me. I love supporting local bands.
Watching them grow... makes me so proud. :)
What song did they chose?
Awh I thought I was just rambling and no one would understand what I said. I should do that more in my blog. I try to plan them out, when real words with true meaning come from the heart, not from your head. =]
I love all roses P<3.... but my favorites are either the very dark red velvety ones, they smell so good, or the more delicate, refined white roses. Ahh hell, I love them all.
Everything I own is rose scented.
It's my birth flower. :)
Cupcake, when I form a band, will you fly out and support my band? =]
lol.. like that'd happen. I still suck at guitar.
My sleeves are still dry.
The ink dark moon hides your path
But blood shows the way.
Fan of a floating woman --
Your words, wiped clean by shadows.
Roses are amazing. If a person truly knows me, and I mean really does, then they'd know that I bake when I'm totally pissed, and that I love white roses.
Hey WG! ;)
How are you today?
Wow, why can't I stop 'talking'?
The head is the heart's worst editor.
The song is "Falling Slowly" and I've been over playing it for months. I'm odd like that.
- An Old Friend
P<3, first I need a band, but then fuck yeah, we are so there sweetie! XD
I'm moving states in February, I have a few contacts there, so then I'm on my way! :)
And I'm sure you don't suck at guitar!... I do... could be because I never practiced. I'm better with vocals. :)
The head is the heart's worst editor.
Totally true. =] Why can't everyone see that? Sheesh.
It must be a great song AOF.
Dark moon hides your path.
Sleeves of a floating woman,
dry, but veiled by ash.
Cupcake, you can be the singer, and I'll be the guitarist! ^_^
Honestly, I really want to get better, but it's hard to concentrate on the stuff I'm doing. I'm pretty sure I have the attention span of a fish.
do you get Iceberg roses PH? they are an old rose and have lovely big really scented white roses.
I like gardenias and jasmine
Huh! From free form to tanka to haiku. Same story. ^_^
The head is the heart's worst editor.
Now that is VERY true.
You bake when you're pissed P<3? hehe I do to... I'm so anal about it, I belong on desperate housewives. Well... when I'm older. lol
K, I love the poetry you always post!
=]
EP, I've never actually gotten roses. I'm pretty sure I like them so much from the expression "stop and smell the roses". Roses remind me to enjoy life.
Cupcake, whenever something is bothering me, I just bake and bake until I feel better. My sister sits there and listens to me bitch about stuff. It's my own personal therapy! ^_^
AOF were you a regular here?
I also hate it when radio stations overplay songs. That's why I refuse to turn on the radio. I'm sick of all the same stuff they play over and over again. I like finding new bands to enjoy, and I hate listening to what everyone else listens to. That's what I'm anal about.
That's a good idea P<3! :)
We could change the face of music... or something. XP
Hi Kapunua! :)
We really should. The music industry needs more female talents out there! It's all guys, and they really only get half of their 'fans' based on looks. I mean, girls tend to listen to bands that they feel have 'hot' guy band members.
Irregular, maybe.
- An Old Friend
An Old Friend, I think you are who I think you are. If you aren't, then I feel stupid for hoping you are who I think you are because if you are, then I've missed you.
Confusing?
I also hate it when radio stations overplay songs
PH - 2 words : James Blunt
I have iceberg roses in my front yard, I'd send you some but they may not make it!
Ergo; lol. He was soo overplayed. Avril Lavigne is another one.
I'd love a rose, even if it was dead or alive, knowing that you send it to me from Australia would be awesome! But the beauty of it if it were alive would be better.
Paperheart, I'm not the person you miss. We spoke in the past when you were looking for a guitar and starting your job.
A hint for you:
A friend of mine asked me to tell "Heart of Paper" that he said hello.
- An Old Friend
I know you think the one who always answers your poems is Mayo. It isn't, it's me..... and I'm tired of doing it. Can you please stop now, because most people don't like it. I stopped, not it's your turn to stop.
Mr. Hollywood needs to come on.
P<3, I've always worried that being the lead singer in a band, and being female, that my band would be looked on as a novelty act, you know? it's still hard to be taken seriously.
Particularly playing bars and stuff.
And I've given up on the radio. XP
AOF. Well, the "interested" gave it away for me. :P But I don't think we're on the same page. lol
I'll take a photo of one and email it to you!
Cupcake, I think for a woman to be in a band, they have to be really confident in themselves and truly believe in themselves. I really look up to Hayley Williams for being the lead singer in Paramore, and touring with dudes all the time. But you know, I believe in you. I know what you mean too. It would be hard to be taken seriously, but just having the confidence would help. ^_^
Make sense? lol. I keep asking that cause I'm worried that I'm not.
hey feral cat bait, sniffed any wallaby bums today? I bet roses smell slightly better.
Ergo, that'd work millions!!
Unfortunately, I'm overly hungry and tired, and I think I should practice my guitar. You all have a great night!
An Old Friend, nice talking to you. I have missed you, you know. You are who I think you are, I think. =] <3
I loved talking to you all tonight. Maybe it was more like talking at you, because at times it felt like a one way conversation because I really need to learn how to shut up sometimes and not talk so much. If you were to talk to me, face to face, you'd find that I talk really fast sometimes and that I never make sense.
lol.
I'm also just bored. =]
Goodnight!<3
P<3, you always make perfect sense to me hun.
And oddly enough, for all my... flaws, there's one thing I'm sure of.
I want to be in a band, it's always been so high on my list of priorities, and I will get there damn it! I will work as hard as I can, and I have faith I can make it happen.
All I need to do is survive now.
That's the tricky part.
Aww bye bye P<3, have a good night. *hugs*
Cupcake, you'll survive. I know you will. That's one thing that's been so high on my priority list as well. I don't care if I have to move half-way across the world to accomplish my dreams. I'd do it for free. I just want to have a band, that with my music, has a solid concrete belief and a true message and that helps others accomplish things. I'd never turn my back on it. Never. Music is one thing I couldn't live without, so it only makes sense to do something with music as a living.
I'm glad that I make sense to you. Half the time, I never make any sense to myself.
Bye cupcake!<3
Thank you, guys. ^_^ PH, congratulations to your family. You're in for so many years of joy.
I'm sure you've gone now P<3, but I know what you mean, I really do.
Hell... I will be moving halfway across the world as soon as I can.
I believe in fighting for what you want.
..... So... anyone still around?
PH check your email tomorrow! night
CC I emailed you too
hey anon!!!
nice to see you!
not lately but I am sure roses are better
I know this is a long shot, but would anyone like to do a renga?
I had a message from martha to say hello to everyone, she's feeling a bit drained and taking a break
Thanks K! *hug*
Cupcake, I believe in fighting for what you want to.
Bye<3
Mayonaise;
Opinions will differ amongst many people. That's one lesson I've recently learned. It's honestly a great lesson. Don't let anyone change what you believe in. It's yours to think. Haha, again, I'm going to ask you; did that make sense?
Shitsubou Shita, can you hear me from all the way over here? I miss you. I hope everything is well in your life. Remember, Pactum Serva.
xoxo;
- 007
<3
Ergo, I got it and replied, hopefully my email hasn't fucked up, and has in fact been sent.
Ergo, I'll check it, then respond. And tell Martha hello. and tell her that I'm giving her a hug, with my mind, and I understand where she's coming from and I miss her!
BYE for tonight<3
dude, I would love to try, but my big poetic contribution of the day was making up an oompa loompa song to make fun of my kid.
I can have a go kapunua but there are a lot of rules, can we simplify it?
K, I don't understand what that's saying. I'll re-read it in the morning, with a fresh mind. Goodnight!
=]
<3
Tell Martha I say 'hello you minx!'
And Kapunua.... I'm sure I would be in it if my effing computer would let me follow the damn link!
And hello Carrie! :) you just brightened my day. No, my year. XP
Oh Ergo, the fun is following the rules.
The only thing about the Renga is that the leader of the group has to start it, so I guess we can give it a miss after all. Protocol is hot. ;)
Hey cupcake! And Zombie killer, what are you still doing up?
BC, good to see you back as BC again. why were you asking me if i felt better? that had me a little miffed ive been fine. are you ok?
February 24, 2008 3:22 PM
-------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
Shame in me, if you're lurking, I only asked that question because last night I wanted to make sure you were okay after when you said that you were drunk.
Just a innocent question, nothing else. I hope you didn't mind me asking.
Hello to anyone who is here.
Kapunua I read down about the each verse bit down the page with what each one has to say
can we just do the 5-5 and 5-7-5 sounds or just make it a standard verse pattern for anyone to follow?
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