Seasonal Affect
Three months ahead
It gets deep.
The measure remains
Uncharted
While dirt stains
Underneath, waiting warmth
Will rise again.
Spirits lift eyes
Renewed
To the skies
A blazing rage
Hammers shoulders
Covered in paste.
Saved
In the haste
A death produced
Yellow orange glow.
To waste away
Piled
For another day.
Because I am feeling rather optimistic.
p.s. do not be fooled by imitation spread.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1,515 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 801 – 1000 of 1515 Newer› Newest»Hey peeps by the way!
I'll email you the link, im sure kap wont mind but i dont wanna post it here just in case hold on
Shit!! whats ya email? I cant get onto anyones pages cause we are all black not blue
Hey 6!!!! How are you?
Hi Anima!
I always get the nagging feeling that the purpose of Mayo's little intermediate posts is to show that Big Brother is watching us, and that the words themselves are essentially meaningless terms intended to make us monkeys dance. Still cynical, me...
Kass xx
Dance Monkey Dance!!!
kass are you looking forward to 30stm? If you cant tell already i would just like you to know i am!!! LOL
Yes, email me! anima.mundi77@yahoo.com
Thank you!!
Jappy Hour is cool, but I'm just not in the mood for work chatter.
Hey Kass and Princess!
I gotta get back to working. Busy day ahead of me.
Love to all of you!
SS, I miss you!!!
sent!!! I gotta go but i will be back later take care babies!!
I am indeed "jappy" about 30STM, but I think I'm going to see the Kerrang tour two days before, so I'm having to spread the anticipation over the 2 dates!
Kass xx
and 30stm are headlining Kerrangs taste of chaos or what ever its called in may at brixton and sheffield!! Along with paramore, To be honest theres only 30stm i wanna see so i might not go, depends how much tickets are
SIM,
I just recently bought 30STM and The Kill is like my new favorite song.
^_^
Per my instructions from Solly:
I was told to wave at you up there in the tower, Mayo
*Princess is doing the Miss America wave. ^_^
She said to tell you hi. So..
Hi!
Miss America wave
*elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist*
Got that Mayo? That's how you wave for pageants and parades.
London tour dates doubtful. The Eagles are playing at O2 on 20 March.
Some say that BC is getting help. I see no proof of this. I see some one still hiding a dangerous obssession. BC you will never live your life unless you get help. Even if you decide you are 'over' him it will be some other star. Get help before its too late.
Anon @ 12.22pm,
PP said something similar, but thank you.
Anon @ 12.26pm,
I'm actually beginning to think that you're more obsessed with BC, than BC is with Gerard! There's no point wasting your time saying this stuff over and over. Why not pull up a chair and talk about other stuff - Life, the Universe & Everything?
Just not with me, because I'm going home now...
Love,
Kass xx
P.S. *hugs for Anons*
Hi Mayo. I haven't been around lateley because real life has been more of a priority. I lurk, but my mind is on a million other things at the moment.
As my mother says, "this, too, shall pass" so I hang on and hang in there.
I just wanted to say that your quote from Mustard last night was most appropo. It's nice to know you watch and listen to us. Thanks.
So, if you feel a light breeze coming from behind you, it's me. I'm waving to you from the corner, just before I head out through the door to conquer the dragons and fires of my life.
Anima:
You and I both know SS wears his undies on the outside ;)
*is frightened by the image ;)*
Hey dude. If you're around, we hope everything's going okay. We hope everything's well in your little world. Tip over yourself and watch all the snow and glitter fall down on you. This place is just a huge, weird snowglobe.
Don't get dizzy though ;)
See you all later!
*waves goodbye to Mayo, SS, and The Family*
Mustard, SS is The Flash...
He doesn't sit still long enough for you to see what he has on!!!
SS,
We miss you!!!
Hey guys=]
How are we all? Just popping in for a quick hello before I go find some food to eat! =]
I see no one is around?
Anyways; Mayonaise, how are you buddy? Anything new and exciting in your life right now? I hope that you are hard at work right now and not just sitting back and being a creep and lurking around BlogBelieve. (kidding)
Lately, I realized that I just need to have faith in myself, and things that need to get done will get done on their own time. I really want to babble more, but I can't, I'm hungry as a bat and going to go eat some yogurt!
All my love;
- 007
<3
Hey PH! Sorry I missed you.
PH, you make me smile. ^_^
Ok, so like I'm clocked out for lunch and it's too cold outside so I'm not leaving. Brrrrr.
I was just sitting here thinking about this place and the people here. It really blows my mind.
This is a very special place, Mayo.
You know that now though, don't you? Isn't it weird how it all started? Kind of freaks me out when I think about how things have changed since then.
It's nice to know that we do mean something to you, too. Sometimes I think ok, Princess, cuz that's what I call myself, Princess, what do you bring to the table? Most of the time, not a whole lot. I hope I can make you smile sometimes. That's what I'm pretty good at doing most days. Making people laugh. So feel free to laugh at me, okay? Or at least, laugh with me.
If not, I'll kick your ass. I'm pretty good at that, too. ^_~
Hugs and kisses to you, Mayo!
XOXO,
S&V20
Advice please.
Have had horrible day. Have bucket of Maltesers.
Should I open bucket?
Sorry you had a bad day. Are Maltesers like Whoppers (malted milk chocolate covered candy)? I say a bad day is worth at least a few?
Yeah, like what is that? Cuz if it's like Whoppers then can I have some?
Yum-yum!
Hello Carrie
Maltesers are light milk chocolates with honeycombed centres. They are very lovely and the likely result that if the bucket is open then lots will be eaten.
If mood does not improve then will open. Was so keen to leave work today that I left mobile (cell?) phone there. Feel lost without it.
Oh well..........
MMm, now I'm gonna have to buy me some of those next time I'm at the store. We have an aisle with all sorts of imported things. You write like Bridget Jones, now I want to see that movie again, and eat Maltesers while I'm watching! I do hope your day improves.
Love Bridget Jones books and films, so funny and really not all that far fetched.
Lid still on bucket. But they appear to beckon me.
Will have a strong coffee and see how it goes.
American Idol is being shown here in 20 mins. Will probably open bucket then.
Hi everybody
god i have been in withdrawal today!! i couldn't get on line!! truly horrible!! anyway something was unplugged and thank god all is ok!!
hello everyone!
hello mayo!
hello SS!
Hello hello faraway. How are you my hyper friend? Lol *hugs*
I think we're the only ones here right now
hi there BC!! just catching up. can you tell me other than MIB's quote has mayo left any other comments here. i just won't find it if i go a hunting you know what its like!!
i'm fine btw. hope you are good.
ooh and i noticed some UA chat earlier. i'm loving it. waiting in delivery of no5 its been dispatched takes fucking ages cos i'm in the uk and all!
Firstly BC you rule for listening to Stone Temple Pilots
SIM, just for saying that, you fucking rule too!! Love to you! \m/
Faraway, yep. Mayo left one comment last night. He told us that he has learned so much from each and every one of us and that our worth is immeasurable. What a sweetheart he is :)
I got an email last night from this comic book store(All the way from Portland, OR. Crazy? I know I am lol) where I ordered my copy of TUA # 5 and it's heading my way already. I can't wait!
It looks like we're both gonna get in the mail soon :)
Hey BC! Hi FASC!
Hi there Anima. How are you?
BC, did you see what Kass wrote?
I'm actually beginning to think that you're more obsessed with BC, than BC is with Gerard!
That's awesome.
I'm good. I really need to get some more work done, but I'm goofing off. How are you?
thanks BC!
god mayo is mellowing big time isn't he?!! i like that!
great i can't wait for issue 5. i'm so glad gway is doing more i'm really enjoying them. never been much into that kind of thing before.
hi anima!!
Anima, I have. That's why I typed that "obsessed stalker" nickname lol.
Not have spoken or mentioned the topic that anon mentioned, and yet they brought it up again. Maybe I will have another stalker to add to my list now lol.
Anima, I'm okay, just thinking of what to eat. I'm getting hungry, and I woke up late again today.
It's such a sweet thing isn't it Faraway? Our little Mayo is becoming a big softie. Aww!! I wish I could hug him.
Sorry. I can't help but say that *smiles sheepishly*
BC, maybe there is another stalker. Be careful out there!
I just ate lunch and I'm still starving. Go get yourself some food!
FASC, so is Mr. Bloke sabotaging your computer? ;)
Anima, thanks. I am having some trouble with food...there is barely nothing to eat! But you know what?
I'll probably order a pizza instead ^____^
Good Afternoon, BlogBelievers!!!
Good Afternoon to Mayo and SS as well.
I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MUSIC NOTE!!!!!
Mustard!!! You sound almost chipper. You're making me smile!
BC indeed!
anima i'm not sure?? it could've been my 2 yr old but its got me thinking!!!
SIM is back!!!!!!!
SIM! Did you see what my new favorite song is right now?
"The Kill"
Muwahahah! I have just discovered 30STM.
Why it's taken me this long, I have no idea!
Well, there you have it.
People can officially tell when Mustard is and is not "chipper."
I should work on disguising my typing feelings.
Good afternoon Mustard!!!!!
Good afternoon Smoke!!!!!!!
How's that for chipper? ^_^
SIM, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!?!?
(Ha ha. Sorry about that)
I have a sixth sense for that kind of thing, Mustard.
I can see through the computer screen.
I SEE YOU! You are chipper! ^_^
Really?
Well, then you can see me now.
What am I doing?
Huh?
What the hell am I doing?!
*is picking nose ;)*
smoke!!! arent they just the most amazing thing ever!!!
Im madly in love with his voice. Have you heard the acoustic stuff? Thats where i fell in love with his voice, man its beautiful!!
I hold them in higher regard than MCR and alongside Alice in chains and i cant wait to friggin see them !!!! Have you heard the first album? How is it that that man is so talented?
WOW!!! I should have a massive crush on him, i mean hes hot, he sings and writes beautifully, hes fascinated with astronomy like me and he was born the day after me LOL but i just have a crush on his voice haha it owns my soul!!! I need to shut up LOL
Uh-huh. I saw that.
For a minute there I thought you were gonna pull a Mayo.
Can you see me from waaaaaaaayyyy over there? How many fingers am I holding up? O_O
You and I both know SS wears his undies on the outside ;)
Is that because we are astute? ;)(Anima wants to be astute like Mustard!)
Let's see if we can get SS to answer the question...if he's not too embarassed. SS, do you wear your undies on the outside, like a superhero?
MUSTARD IS PICKING HER NOSE!!!!
That actually reminds me of that scene in the Scream movie where Sydney was picking her nose.
BC my lovely how are you? ive missed hanging here at mayos!!! Ive been working frantically!!
Love to you :)
Hope you are having a nice day, i think that anon should be harrassing me not you i seem to be being psychotically obsessive and manic today LOL
Anima, I have nicknamed him The Flash.
Cuz he quick as lightening!
Here, there and gone.....
*snaps fingers
Just like that!
I should'a pulled a Mayo. ;)
BC:
I've never seen that. Is it a movie or cartoon, or something?
Anima:
Let us do this.
Hey SS? Do you wear your undies on the outside like a really cool superhero would do? I mean, if you don't want to say, that's totally fine. I mean, it doesn't really matter either way. ;)
Anima did you read the review? Where is Kapunua today?
Oh, goodness.
SS is going to disown us >_<
'Tis okay, little buddy. We won't tell anyone your nickname or how you dress yourself in the dark :)
'Tis okay, little buddy. We won't tell anyone your nickname or how you dress yourself in the dark :)
Can't you hear him giggling? Oh, my God. He is so gonna giggle.
SIM, my lovely, I'm doing okay. My biggest concern is whether or not I should order a pizza. I am mighty hungry but I have to wait a couple of hours for delivery, but other than that, I'm okay.
I miss seeing you here, but I understand the horribleness that is working a job lol.
Mustard, you never seen Scream? It's a movie by Wes Craven, the same director who directed A Nightmare on Elm Street.
____________________________________
i think that anon should be harrassing me not you i seem to be being psychotically obsessive and manic today LOL
Aww SIM, you would do that, for me? Aww thanks lol ^_^
Smoke are you not gonna answer my questions?
Shit SIM, I forgot to check my email! Got a little distracted. I will check it out when I get home tonight.
Mustard, I like your idea much better.
..............
-Anima really should be working. :(
Oh, my good Lord.
Is it ever gonna get five? Seriously?
I'm so sick of filing claims. I know I said this once before but Medicaid sucks ass.
BIG TIME!!!!!!GRRRRR!!!
Well yeah if you wanna think im doing it for you then go ahead lol its just coming naturally today :) im super excited and i have tomorrow off work too!! Yay :)
MMMMMMM i would murder a pizza bc :P *makes drooling noise*
did the not signing in thing work? Can the porch lot get in ok? anyone know?
I want it to snow here!!!!!
Why doesn't it snow in Georgia. All we get is sleet. Nasty ass rain. Yuck.
I hate driving in this crap.
GRRRR!!!!
and
BRRRRR!!!!
Princess, I have over an hour left of work and then stupid happy hour. Don't make me go! I don't wanna! But I always bail on them, so I have to.
*pets SS on his head. It's okay man, we love you. We won't tell of your superhero ways.
Nope, it still isn't working.
I don't know what is wrong with Blogger. I'm gonna have to get some high-speed.
My luck, Blogger will shut down completely then.
GRRRR!!!
Anima! It was totally your idea to ask! Don't put the blame on me ;)
Smoke:
He's a gigglemeister!
Uhhhh, we will soooo tell, Anima.
^_~
SIM, Kapunua said that Sdock still couldn't get in and that was around a couple hundred comments. I actually find that it does load a lot quicker.
Speaking of which, I need to go back to black....
smoke and venom!! answer my 30stm questions now young lady!!!
Dont make me mad grrrrrr hehehe
thats really crappy :( poor sdock how many others are shut out?
guys!
i am off for the night!
catch you later and love to you all!
OH!
I forgot. SS/Flash the superhero had me sidetracked.....
I just recently started listening to them and I bought just that one cd. He does have an amazing voice. It's funny though, the whole time I'm looking at him....
All I can see is Paul Allen from American Psycho.
Yes, I still have American Psycho on the brain! LOVE IT!
Ooooh, snap.
You sneaky little thing. I told you he's like the Flash.
Mustard, go check out the superhero page. ^_~
Goodnight and sweet dreams Faraway.
SIM, you're telling me that you won't defend me against anon attacks? You just broke my heart :(
Not really :)
sorry porch dwellers i forgot to be black!!
bye all!
SMOKE
You have to listen to this, this is the reason i fell in love with his voice ♥
Pure beautifullness - Echelon acoustic
BC you need to listen to it too and everyone else
Awwww, I'll have to pull it up when I get home. It's blocked from here.
GRRRRR!!!
SIM, I don't have to do anything. He he
I swear to god he knows when we're talking about him.
Just like Raymond Toro does.;)
SS has extrasensory perception.
Hello dude!
SS, you are a sneaky little thing aren't you!
So do I, Mustard, cuz I can still see you......
bc you have what i said all wrong!!! Of course i would stick up for you i cant believe you doubted that, you missinterprited what i said. Im sad now :(
good morning everyone !!!!!
What am I doing, oh extrasensoredy one?!
Huh?
So, I'm in a fit of laughter now.
SS totally admitted he wore his undies on the outside.
What a dork! ;)
You have the ability to start new trends, my friend.
Dude, you are a fucking riot. He actually put that on his page...I guess we have our answer!
Hello Ergo!
Welcome back!
guess what !
It's STILL raining!!!
5 1/2 inches yesterday :(
Uhhhh, you talking to me?
Are you.........staring at me? O_O
I know! I bet he laughed out loud!
Like....LOL! For real!
I laughed out loud. ^_^
TJ needs to draw a picture of this.
This is blackmail!
Muwhahahahahahaha!
Only kidding. You know your secret is (isn't) safe with us ;)
Hey Ergo?
Eddie needs to stop doing his rain dance, eh?
smoke i think my link didnt work so try this one when you get home
Echelon
Aww SIM, you know what I said earlier, I wasn't being serious. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings *hugs*
*Imagines SS with undies as outies. That's gonna make me smirk the rest of the day!
.....
Okay, I really need to get some work done.
If I don't pop (or poop) in before I hit the happy hour scene, I will see you all this evening.
Love you guys!
It's FIVE O'CLOCK!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Finally. Hot damn! I'm so sick of insurance and medicaid and bullshit.
Sucks the life right out of you. GRRRR!!!
SS totally admitted he wore his undies on the outside.
SS actually put that on his page? Aww!! what a dork, but a sweet dork nonetheless :D
Drive safe, Smoke!
BC:
He surely did. Smoke noticed!
Anima:
Come back to the dark side when you have the chance :)
Thank you, SIM!
Bye Anima!
I'm sad now. I want to leave work but I won't be able to come back here when I get home.
:(
I think I'll go home and watch my favoritist movie in the whole wide world.
Muwahahah! YAY!
*Pumpkin, you're dating a tumbling, tumbling dickweed.
SS!
Dude!!!! You are soooo funny. Come visit da porch whenever you get ready. Okay? Love ya to pieces!
Bye errbody!
XOXO,
Psychotic Princess
Bye psychotic princess. Love to you ;p
SS, you silly goose. You just put a smile on my face and a laugh too! Thank you! :)
Hi SS !!
I hope you wash them first!
so do you go for tone on tone or a contrast?
Hi there Ergo. Is it still raining over there?
Uh, what did I miss? SS and undies?
What???
ahahaha BC feels like a shithead? LOL thats the funniest phrase ive evr heard. Sorry i didnt realise you didnt mean it, im just tired think im gettin a bit tetchy :/
Bye smoke!!
hey ergo!!! how are you?
Elena,
I told SS in one of my word vomits that I pictured him as a superhero. You know, how he always comes in when everything's blah, and he always makes everything okay again?
Well, this is what I said and it kinda progressed from there...
We've missed seeing that presence of yours. You always swoop in at just the right time. It's really funny in my head because I picture in really bad superhero ware. Tightie-whities on the outside of your pants, bedsheet tied around your neck, and tube socks, three S's painted on your chest, and you'be been drinking protien shakes so your muscles are huge and you kinda resemble a turtle :) Did I paint a good picture?
:)
hi BC yes :( It has been for a week, and the worst is I can drive 5 mins from home and it's not raining, and in fact sunny! That's why it is so annoying, it's sitting on us
http://www.bom.gov.au/gms/IDE00006.latest.shtml
http://www.bom.gov.au
/gms/IDE00006.latest.shtml
the big swirl of cloud about 2/3 the way up the east coast is over us!
Good evening Mayo.
Good evening Everyone.
hello elena!!
mustard I love the vision of the 3 S's painted on a shirt
I'll be back a bit later, you guys!
Hello and goodbye to the people I may miss in transit! Have a good evening :)
hello GS how are you?
Whoop!
GS!
Welcome the fuck back! Really glad to see you around :)
Okay, now I'll be back later!
Ha ha thanks shame in me. Are you feeling tired again? You must get plenty of rest. Of course I will never say a mean thing to you. You're too much of a great friend *hugs*
Just be aware that sometimes I can be insensitive and sarcastic. Not always great traits of mine, but that's part of who I am.
Hi there Elena. You guessed right.
Mustard and the others were talking about SS being a superhero, and SS just admitted he wears his undies outside his pants ^_^
He's such a dork :)
see you mustard!
Glad to be back Mustard, I'll catch you later :)
Hello Ergo, I'm fine thanks, how are you? Apart from rising damp :\
Hello also to SIM, BC and Elena.
Take care Mustard. Hi there GS. How are you? I missed you.
BC
Ergo, is it going to rain tomorrow as well? I think maybe you should start working on that boat already ;p
Hello/ Goodbye Mustard
Hey GS - GOOD to see you.
Hey BC and Ergo and SIM
SS a dork?
Yep, a sweet, giggling dork. Who brightens the room when we sweeps in to save the day!
I'm fine thanks BC, I missed you all as well.
Thanks for the flying hug earlier :)
GS I cannot stand still fro fear of moss growing!!
apart from that I'm really good thanks.
BC boat is almost finished, I am just really jappy I live on a hill!
Hello Mousie, GOOOOOD to see you too!
Your welcome GS :)
Elena, hear hear!
Ergo, you are very lucky to live on a hill :)
BC, can I just add my condolences for your recent loss. Sorry, I don't want to drag the mood down, I just wanted to say that before I forget.
GS, it's no problem at all. Thank you! I appreciate that.
First of all WELCOME HOME GS
ok
Today I started to think about my home yet again. I thought about all my memories, all of my feelings and all of my friends there. I decided to go on the internet and see pictures of my home town because sadly I didn’t take any before I left. As I was looking at them, it struck me that everything is different to other places. Even the buildings and the roads, the birds and the people are so far apart from other towns and cities. Comparing Stockport to Daytona is just completely crazy because there is nothing at all that is the same or similar. I wanted to share with the people here is they would like to see some pictures of my home town. Unfortunately I could not go out and take my own pictures because sadly I am not there anymore but these pictures are what other people took. It is on their website, so they are the ones to credit.
- A train runs over this and many years ago this was the biggest man made structure in either the UK or Europe (not to sure which one)
Stockport Ariel view - You can see the viaduct run through the middle of the town
- The building in the middle, there is a market held every Wednesday and Saturday
Video of Stockport - Just because I thought it was funny and you can see the town.
There are also notable people from Stockport and they are
David Dickinson
Fred Perry
Judy Finnigan
Dominic Howard - Muse
Sarah Harding - Girls aloud
I just wanted to share with you all, sorry for the long and boring comment!
Fim
xx
Hello everyone!
I'm home, guys. I had a rough day and saw something really awful. I guess I will write something about it later (you know that's how I deal with things) but I wanted to sit down, read you guys and breathe for a second.
Then after I get it out of my head, I'll be ready and more than willing to dish out the 30STM love and hook you guys up with unreleased songs if you want.
First, dinner and a shower.
Thank you again FS :)
Those pictures take me back, memories for me as well :)
Hello Jade, long time no see.
Hello/ goodbye Kapunua.
hello jade
hi fimble lovely pics
hi Kapunua
Hi jade, fimble, K.
Yeah it's been a while, GS. You start to miss this place. A lot of stuffs happening right now so I'm rather up and down at the minute. But, you learn to deal with it and you have to move on. I have councelling now though so I'm getting help.
Hey Kapunua, Fimble and BC.
Oh shoot. Sorry Ergo I missed you!
Hello!
Jade,
Would you like to talk or would you prefer not to?
We'll listen if you need us.
Or would you like the conversation to stay light hearted?
Mayo,
You know, I wasn't totally fooled. But just in case it was you I wanted to say what I did!
Take Care!
Kapunua that sounds harsh? Fuck hope whatever happened you are ok :/
*gasp* Kapunua what did you say about 30stm?
I need some leto and co love ♥
Yayness!!!
Hey to everyone who said hi to me, i was away for a bit but im back now.
Fimble love you still really homesick? That sucks :/
SIM, where have you been young lady?
Jade, how are you? I haven't seen you here for a while
Hello SIM.
I saw 30stm at Download, they were okay. The dude can sing though!
I found some pics of our nearest bigger town
http://www.668.com.au/Queenland/Mackay/list_43_4.html
http://www.668.com.au
/Queenland/Mackay/
list_43_4.html
this is my town of Sarina, to the right is our sugar mill,
http://www.skyepics.com.au
/pages/browse.php?
img_id=3221#top
http://www.skyepics.com.au
/pages/browse.php?
img_id=3224#top
in this one I live in the hills to the top left.
I hope you'll have a look!
(I didn't know these existed lol)
Ergo,
The previous pics are coming up as unfound but your Serina ones came through!!
I want to live in Serina!
What amazing walking country, so jealous.
I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me really. I think I'm starting to figure out who I am and it scares me. Plus, I'm a teenager and we all go through that stage where it feels like everything happens to you.
Well my mum left about 2 years ago now, but to be honest I wasn't that upset over it as it was a relief from all the arguments that used to go on. It was hard, dont get me wrong, but I handled it okay. I'm really close with my dad and I was really happy when he met someone else. He was himself again. He was happy. Before, he was severly depressed.
So about a month ago, my dad's partner moved in with her 2 kids and everything seemed to be going fine. That was until she decided to just leave one night, with her kids and with no explanation. My dads heart is broken one more and it just isn't fair. I'm so worried for my dad that it's fucking my head up. I know that if he didn't have me and my sisters, he'd be suicidle. He's heads not in the right frame of mind right now and I'm getting sick over it.
My cousin died a year ago, last saturday in a horrific train accident, and that was when my dad's partner decided to get up and leave. I have everything hanging over me and I'm and I'm not handling it well. Everything just happens all at once and when I'm not ready for it.
I care too much, I think ahead too much, and I worry too much. I've become a wreck. I'm constantly crying, and I've now pushed everyone away from me. I'm too protective, and I dont let anyone near me. It's become a thing where if theyre not close to me, they cant hurt me. I'm safe.
I really dont know. I'm just hoping things just get better.
Fimble:
That was great. I'm glad that you can remember your hometown in that way. It's weird how things strike you all at once. Thanks for sharing with us :)
Kapunua:
Like the rest, I hope you're okay as well. I don't like when we see bad things that are out of our control. It puts you in a helpless position and I, for one, don't like to be there.
Hello GS, BC, SIM, Ergo, Jade, anyone I missed!
Going over to DM, so I'll be back shortly :)
Hey GS How are you? haha he can sing yes :) I missed a lot of good bands by not going Download last year :/ makes me sad but theres always this year!
Bc i have been watching enjoyable things on you tube hehe ;)
Hope kaps ok sounded bad :/
Hello Ergo
Sarina looks beautiful. I really miss rural green. (feels homesick).
I hope the rain stops soon and not too much damage has been done.
Take care.
jade that is an awful lot for a teen to try and cope with!
Have you talked to anyone? A counsellor or a church or a phone service?
Could your dad talk to anyone?
It sounds like a situation that may need the help of a professional, are there phone services you can call and remain anonymous if you want to, like a help line?
Jade, I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you seeing any counselors or anything?
Hi there Mustard, Eliza. Shame in me, what kind of enjoyable things? ;)
Hello everyone, how are you?
Hi mayo, it was nice to see you last night. You should come round here more often, it is your place after all.
Hi SS, you cheeky little thing. Undies on the outside, you must get some funny looks.
Anon 616 and Pickled possum, thank you for the nice things you said about me, I love you guys.
GS, soooooooo good to see you back *bug hug*
Fimble, I'm so sorry that you are so homesick. Those pics are great, That was a lovely idea.
Jade sweetie, I'm so sorry. Your dad sounds like a lovely man and it seems so unfair for him to be treated this way. I'm just so gald that he has someone like you to be there for him.
I know how dreadful you must feel right now, she picked a bad time to leave with the anniversary of your cousins death (I know how badly that must be affecting you), not that there is ever a good time.
My heart truely goes out to you, I am sending you and your dad all my love. Anytime you need to talk,we are all here.
thanks EB I do love living here.
we are luckily avoiding any flooding so far, out west is not so lucky though.
Jade take care and it's good you let it out here, it's a place to find some comfort but remember we can't really help and I hope you find someone near you to help you, and there would be help available,
I'm off to the gym and we are going for a drive to the beach where it may not be raining *fingers crossed*
Jade, I'm so sorry.
This is probably going to come out all wrong but here goes. You love your Dad and want to be there for him but supporting people who are hurting is hard work at the best of times.
For you, you have just had your accident, you have a huge work load for school and you're going through your own difficulties, this is a HUGE undertaking. Your shoulders are sagging under the weight of it all.
If you have family around you it might be wise to talk to them, explain how you feel, exactly the same way you have explained it here. Don't be afraid to get help.
You can't carry everyone poppet :(
Talk to family and friends, they will help, trust them.
Jade,
I don't know quite what to say. I know the situation you're in is extremely difficult. You probably feel like you're taking on adult responsibilities in worrying so much about your father, and I can only imagine how hard that is for someone so young, you know?
If there is someone you can talk to, maybe another family member who knows what's going on, or even a professional as Ergo suggested, they may be able to help you or just listen to you. It always helps to talk it out.
Keep being there for your dad and your sister. We'll continue to be here for you. If there's anything you ever want to talk about or need to talk about, you know where you can find the ears that will listen.
I'll be thinking about you :)
Well I've been speaking to a professional at my school. He's been trying to help me. They think I'm going through depression and all sorts. I dont know, I just always feel angry and sad. I usually hate myself for not being able to do anything for my dad, but theres nothing I really can do.
When my mum left, she spent all my dads cash and then fucked off. We have been left with her debt for all this time. My dads a single parent, with three kids, who is currently out of work, and who's been trying to pay off my mum's debt for 2 years. Just doesn't feel fair.
Aw, Jade. It isn't fair. That's terrible.
Have you talked with your dad? Have you told him your concerns?
Jade, it isn't, it isn't fair at all. You have every right to feel angry.
We are here, if sometimes you want to come on and just scream, do it.
No I havn't spoken to him, nor do I want to. It will make him worse if he knew how I've been feeling. He will feel a failure, and I dont want to break his heart even more.
Hello Jade
I don't have children and I can only imagine how difficult it is, as an adult, to manage a family when things go wrong-its bad enough when its just me. Your dad is upset and confused but he must work through it, you can support him but he must remember that he is the adult of the house.
When I was 16 my 17 year old cousin was drowned while lobster fishing. He was lovely. His body was missing for 3 weeks. We used to walk the shoreline looking for his body-his brother found it in the end. It was the 1st time I experienced someone my own age dying and it certainly made me grow up much quicker. I can never forget the emotions of the time, particularly how his mother managed. The human spirit is astounding.
You take very good care and, as mentioned by others, talk to your Dad and friends.
Belated hello's to Miss T, SIM ( again ) and EB.
Thanks everyone. Things have been really difficult lately. I just want to get my exams over and done with, leave school, get a job, and just help my dad out. I cant afford to be dealing with this all now, not when I should be revising and such.
Jade,
Dad's are weird creatures.
Trust me.
He may WANT to know, you know? He may want to know how you're feeling. Only you know if you get that vibe from him. And you're his daughter. He's never going to be ashamed of you, or hate you, or think that he's a failure because of you. He loves you and your sister more than the world itself. Never forget that. Let him know that you're there for him just like he's been there for you. This may take him awhile. Just let him know that you'll be there for him, but that you can't have ALL of the weight on you, only some. He'll understand. Promise.
Hi Miss T, how are you? Jade, as the others have said, if you ever feel the need to talk, don't be afraid to come talk to us, but also, look towards your family and talk to them as well.
I know, it just feels hard, y'know?
But thanks for the advice everyone. I feel bad after I load my shit onto everybody else. so Sorry. Just ignore me in future. I'm just overreacting with the whole situation.
bc ya know just stuff ;) LOL
An out of control Great Dane killed our cockatoo Emily today. Emily has been with the hospital since Dr. Rob was hired there in '92. (He's since taken over the practice.) She was his bird but she lived at the hospital and was more or less everyone's. She was a wicked thing who would nuzzle you one second and then bite your arm the next, and I can't count how many times she sank her nasty little beak into my arm and I would fling her off me, shouting, "One day you're going to get eaten by a dog, Emily!"
I had a terrible feeling when the owners came for the dog and the littlest emloyee, a kewpie doll named Scooter, took the leash. this dog had almost broken my hip and my knee the other day lunging for Emily as she sat on her usual little perch in the lab. I managed to pull him back but the dog was incredibly strong. I asked Scooter, "Are you sure you can handle this dog? He's really strong; he'll drag you wherever he wants to go." She said she was all right with him. "Are you sure?" I asked. "He's not a good dog, and he's huge." She told me, "It's okay, I've got him."
She hadn't even rounded the corner to the lab when I saw her legs go out from under her and then one of the techs was screaming, "Get it off of her! Get it off of her!" and I heard Emily screaming. I was just thinking, "Let him have her by the wing, at least, she can live without her wing."
But he had her by the head, and she was still screaming with her head in his mouth, trying to beat her wings against his face. Two techs, two assistants and Scooter were all wrestling with the dog, but he planted himself in a sitting position and clamped his jaws. They were screaming at him and trying to wrestle him to the ground.
I didn't know what else to do so I shoved my fingers into his mouth where I could feel Emily's beak and I tried to pry his mouth open. I'm pretty strong and I was really jacked up with adrenaline and I still couldn't get his mouth to open. I just started yelling, "Somebody help me open his stupid mouth!" and probably a lot of cursing; I don't remember. Then one of the receptionists tried throwing some water on him and that didn't work. Then another assistant came over and tried helping me get his mouth open. Finally we loosened his jaw enough so that he dropped Emily to the floor and she just lay there, still trying to flap her wings for a second.
Dan, another one of the vets, came in as I was picking Emily up off the floor and I handed her over to him. He took her into the OR and even got her intubated but it was a ridiculous effort because her entire neck was already crushed: her bones, her crop, everything.
It's weird, I have bruises on my hand where the dog's teeth went, but I also have bruises and teeth marks on my left hand, and his teeth were nowhere hear there from what I remember. I'm trying to think if he bit me after the fact but he couldn't possibly have because once he dropped Emily I picked her up in my left hand. I don't remember what happened. Which is so strange because I remember everything else.
I didn't even get along with the bird but everytime I close my eyes I see her poor little wings trying to beat against the Great Dane's face. It's even worse because this was Emily's home, she felt safe there and it shouldn't have happened. She never saw it coming; she had no fear of dogs because dogs have never attacked her before. I've seen some awful stuff in the time that I've worked there and this isn't even the worst of it, but I guess it feels worse because she was our bird, and because it was so sudden and so shocking.
Rob thanked me for sticking my hand in the dog's mouth and he told Scooter that it wasn't her fault (it totally wasn't,) but other than that he seemed kind of "Well, whatever." I'll bet you he's going to be upset later, though.
I'm sorry; this is such a downer but I had to write it all out because that makes it easier. Sorry to lay this all at your doors. It's the kind of thing that just stays with you, you know what I mean? Poor little Emily with her useless little wings trying to get out of the jaws of a Great Dane.
Okay, I've written enough and I'm really sorry. I just had to get it out of my head and into words. I'm sorry.
Now I'm just reading back (I hadn't yet,) and Jade, I'm really sorry you're going through that. Jade, you're like me it seems like: a neurotic worrier. You think a lot, consider a lot, and you "third shift." Your first shift is work or school. Second shift is when you come home and take care of stuff at your house--more work.
Then you're supposed to sleep, but the "third shift" is when you can't sleep because you can't stop going over the things that happened today, and can't stop considering what may happen tomorrow.
Our friend here S(S)S is a third Shifter as well. You're in good company at least.
The only thing I can offer to you in words is what someone told me once: don't torment yourself with fantasies of disaster. A fancy way, I guess, of saying not to worry about things that may or may not come; not to take too much on yourself. Not to fret over things that are out of your control.
Which is easier said than done, and if you're getting help with that issue, then that's the best thing you can do.
Take care, Jade.
Hello Ergo, GS, Mustard, Jade, BC!
Jade: I am so sorry to hear about all you've been dealing with. It IS so much for a teenager to go through....
Life seems so unfair sometimes. Some people seem to get 'hit' with so much heartache and pain.
I don't think I can give you any better advice than Ergo, GS and others have given.
All I can do is to encourage you to keep talking to your school councilor and your siblings. Talk to us, talk to your friends....
Have faith in your own strength and your father's....
And TAKE CARE of YOURSELF, first and foremost.
Hugs and Love,
6
Wendy
Jade:
Do not apologize for this. That's why we're here. We're here to talk things out, to help. You know we'd do anything to make it better. I hope things start easing up on you. I hope things start working themselves out. If you ever, EVER, need anything, you know what to do. You just say the word, okay?
Kapunua:
Oh, that's nauseating. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to all that were involved. I love animals dearly. All sorts of animals, and to see one of them get hurt, or die, it just makes my skin crawl.
The worst is having that image in your mind forever. It's happened to me once, and I tear up everytime I think about it. You feel completely helpless and those little animals look to you for help because they can't help themselves. And then you can't help them.
I'm just so sorry.
MissT:
I know you're around here. Where'd you go?
Jade, don't feel bad. You did a great thing by talking to us about your situation. Never feel ashamed or embarrassed about anything you need to talk about. We're all here for you and for one another.
Hi wendy, how are you?
Jade,
Don't feel sorry and no, we won't ignore you, feel free to vent anytime.
Kapunua,
I have no words, they would be woefully inadequate.
Thank you, Splash. You're so lovely.
awwww kapunua, thats just an awful thing to witness and go through :( reading that seriously made me cry. Fuck i never know what to say when shit happens so im sorry if this is just crap but i feel really bad for you and poor little emily, it just breaks my heart. I cant imagine how you must be feeling :/ I am really sorry and you know anytime you wanna chat about anything my aim is Littlepurple3634 i wish i could say something that would help but i'll be thinking of you. And dont be sorry for sharing that with us cause we are your friends and thats what friends do, come rain or shine (((hugs)))
MissTottenham said...
Anon 616 and Pickled possum, thank you for the nice things you said about me, I love you guys.
==========
Hello MissT! You're welcome and thank you too! The feeling is mutual :)
Kapunua, I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible. You really did do a great thing by trying to open the dog's mouth, that's brave.
The image that came to my mind as you described what happened really wasn't most pleasant. I cant imagine the image that keeps re-playing in your head K. I'm so sorry.
Kapunua,
You're welcome. I just wish that it didn't have to happen. Man, it's just heartbreaking, you know? To watch it happen and just the feeling of helplessness. That's the worst. You can't do a fucking thing, and you know they're hurting, but you can't do anything about it.
Hello everyone,
Please catch me up, i can not bare going over the post tonight!
I have an early flight in the morning so i can not stay long.
Hi BC, I'm good thanks sweetie, how are you?
Mustard I'm here, I've just been looking stuff up.
EB37, that is a sad story, my heart goes out to you sweetie.
K, I'm so sorry to hear about Emily.
Jade, please talk to your dad about your feelings. You have to get through this together and you have to communicate. That is the only way you will both manage to do so.
Fimble, your idea was so good I thought I'd let you all see a bit of my gaff.
This is Sheffield town hall with the peace gardens in front
It is a lovely place to sit in the summer when you can run through the water or dangle your legs into fountain/stream theat runs through it.
another pic of it
the same by night
We also have the botanical gardens in the town centre near the hospitals
This is the university and on the left you can see the top of the octagon which is where the bands play
I have seen Ash play here numerous times.
Another pic of the university
The supertram system
15 mins from my home we have the countryside
There are lote of reservoirs in the area. It is the high peak national park which leads to the derwent valley and it is beautiful.
This is the primary school I used to go to in High Green
The end of the school field meets the end of our back garden. When I was small, I would come down to the bottome of the field at break times and shout for my mum to pass me drinks and goodies over the fence. I have spent many years of my childood playing on that school field.
I hope you liked the tour.
Damn!
Now i have to go and read Kapunus post.
brb
Hello BC! I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. Just a little worried now.....
Hello to anyone I missed up there!
Are you still here Jade? There's no need to be sorry, love! Don't think for one second that you're a burden.......on anyone. I'm sure your dad would tell you the same.
SIM if you ever want to join us in chat, we're usually on around 9ish EST. My AIM is Kapunua, add me if you want. ^_^ ANd thank you.
Jade, thank you, too. You already have so much on your plate, don't worry about me. ^_^
MissT, thank you as well. I love the idea of posting photos, that's so sweet. :)
I'm gonna go listen to some music guys, I'll chat you all later. Will you guys be on, do you think?
Kapunua,
That is horrible, i could have never done that.
Bows....to Kapunua!
Hi PJ. How are you? Miss T, I'm doing pretty good. I just ate some pizza, but I'm drinking some cranberry juice right now. I'm glad you're okay :)
Sorry, this is the pic of my school
can anyone tell me what time 9ish east is? Are we close to it? How many hours off so i can synchronise my uk clock lol
I'll be there, or I'll be square.
I'm thinking about doing the same. Listening to music, I mean. Seems to be the right thing to do tonight.
try to relax kapunua, take it easy love :(
Hey BC I had pizza too today.
Anon 616 *kisses to you*
Thanks K, I hope to see you later. Sorry you had to witness such a horrible thing happening.
Well everyone, I have school in the morning so I must be off to bed. I have a meeting in the morning with my councellor (sp?) and I cant miss it because I missed the last one =/
But anyways, I just wanted to say thankyou to you all once again. You honestly dont realise how much it means to me. I think I may sleep more at ease tonight.
Kapunua, again - I'm really sorry. I'll be thinking of you and Emily.
And MissT, those pics are lovely. I enjoy learning more about you all.
Night night.
All my love.
- Jade
p.s thankyou.
Hello Miss T
Happy memories of Sheffield. The Peak District (I hope I'm right) looks wonderful.
It is a sad story but its one of the dangers of the fishing industry-I have so much respect (fear ?) of the sea but know also that it is beautiful.
I saw your photo when reading K's story. You look lovely. Graduation is happy time but sad that the fun times are ending.
I think I also read somewhere that you thought you were boring-that's madness. You are very witty and excellent company.
Hi Miss T, I've been looking for you.
On the other side of those hills is where I used to live!!
Your old school has got the same colour uniform as us :)
Hello PJ!
MissT: That is quite a COLORFUL supertram ya'll have!!
The countryside is beautiful!
Hey guys, how is everyone?
Kapunua, I'm very very sorry for your loss<3
Good night, Jade.
You try to get some sleep. Don't worry for one night, okay? Just sleep, no pun :)
See you tomorrow!
Post a Comment