I am feeling like a bit of a prick this hour. I will not apologize for my rant or the decision I have made. Please, consider yourselves warned. I have a bit of the devil in me.
My foremost priority is to put an end to a certain debate that has been going on inside my head for some time. I am weary from thought, and can barely function from the stress. My torment is unending, and my head is pounding. I have not been able to eat or sleep. I am gaunt, my eyes are hollow, and I look like shit. I have to, at this moment, come to terms with the horror. Ultimately, I must confront my fears and face the question that has been plaguing me at the start of each day. Boxers or briefs? I must admit I have been weighing my options quite heavily. Both have positive and negative qualities, but in the end (yes, I just said that) it is…
p.s. fucker’s out of his mind if you ask me.
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2,648 comments:
1 – 200 of 2648 Newer› Newest»Mayo dude which is it?
You are a funny, funny man.
Why is no one else here?
First actual blogger comment Bee-yatch!
Mayo, I am so sorry to hear that.
Mayo, talk to me please I'm all alone.
a question for the ages...
i'll have some advice for you, but give me some time to ponder the ramifications.
;D
hi mayo=]
I'm just saying hello, how are you?. then reading. =] lol. Only because I never get to post within the first few comments=]
on second thought...should i be thinking about you in this way???
D:
LMFAO
Wow. Dude, you truly are amazing.
That is one mother fucking hard decision. I'd go with boxers. More airy, if you know what I mean. ;)
What about thongs or bikinis, No one ever asks that question.
Also, hey Anon's, BC, and TJ. <3
I LOLled, Mayo. Thank you for that. ^_^
paperheartxx, for a second i thought you wrote "hairy"...
0_o
Where the fuck did this anon come from? Helllooo squeak squeak, my grasshopper. How are you guys?
Haha.
TJ, of course! If I didn't, I meant to at least. ;)
Mayo? This might be the answer to your question.
That is, if you don't end up poking out your mind's eye first.
oh gods, noooooo, kapunua!
the true horror...
What the hell?
Dude.
Mayo, honestly, when I first started reading this post, I truly thought you were pissed about something. Really, I was thinking "Uh oh, what's gotten into our dear creamy white Mayonaise?" I was contemplating what I should say to you, and then I finished reading your post and was thinking "WTF?" You threw me through a loop! Honestly, I laughed soo hard. My cat looked at me like I was the devil. =]
Man am I glad I got my ass out of bed this afternoon!
Thanks for the laugh Mayo, good luck with your under garments! :)
And everyone else (who I doubt is here) Hello! how are you guys? well I hope. XD
xoxo cupcake
Anon, I prefer bikinis. Mayo, you're so silly ;p
I have a bit of the devil in me.
Like, in the back of your car?
oh, mayo...
i think you're a keeper. :)
Hey, stick around for a minute or two, hot stuff. I was on my way to bed, but this has potential. ^_^
HEY CUPCAKE! Sweetie-pie, I've missed you very much! =] How're you? Good I hope?
BC, lol. I prefer the other. (too much info)
People are here! ha... damn time differences.
I'm afraid to ask, but here goes.
But in the end it's what?
I need something equally as witty, Mayo ;)
Kapu, why do you do these things to us?
Mayo, boxer briefs are the best of both worlds.
And me, I prefer my bikini's, thanks.
How's life in the Underwear Drawer?
-A
hey cupcake -- i hope you didn't mind me putting you i the story like that? :)
P<3! I missed you too! *bear hugs*
Splash, he left it blank.
Clearly that's the answer. O_o
Lemme just go ahead and post this. Blogger kept eating it:
Twirpy Anonymous? I rule at being in the right place at the right time. And Kapunua doesn't say the Eff Word for two reasons:
1. Ma K would not approve (Ma K? I'm so sorry for my foul language ;)
2. Mustard says "Fuck" so much better than Kapunua could ever dream.
Mayo:
I hope you're doing well and still thinking. Don't think too much though. That can be worse than not thinking at all.
SS:
Dude, sursly. For the love of Waldos everywhere, please put that fancy outfit on so we can find you!!! ;)
I hope you're doing well as well :)
Be good. See you around, buddy.
Amy, because if I have to see it, then so does everyone else. ^_^
Hi Mayo!
Cupcake, I was beginning to worry about you!
If you didn't return, I wanted to drag your arse back here myself. =]
<3
Are you honking out your backside, too, Mayo?
'Cause damn.
We're gonna blow this place to hell if you are, too.
Cupcake!!!! Where have you been? *runs up to Cupcake and tackles hug her* I missed you ol' delicious one!
paperheart, lol
Why do you all call MIB Splash? I don't get it.
Kap, are you saying there's NOTHING in Mayo's underwear drawer?
-A
I think I now know who left their briefs at my workstation yesterday.
Hi TJ hun, and no I didn't mind at all, do what you like with me, I'm very flattered to be included! :)
Mustard:
Lmao! XD Hello everyone who just arrived
Anon, because she makes us wet.
With tears of laughter.
-A
Anon:
That's between me and her ;)
Is it like 'Attack of the Anons' today?
AHHH!
Oh God, I'm so sorry about everything, I didn't mean this.
Amyranth, I am saying nothing. I am, however, insinuating that Mayo is insinuating, uhh, stuff, and things and stuff.
Anon: because I said so, how does that grab ya? Just right? ^_^
Anon, what are you sorry for?
Anon, no need to freak out over Mayo's obviously difficult decision!
Are all of you okay tonight?
I know it's been a slow day around here, but jeez!
Yikes P<3! lol
Hi BC hun, I've missed you!!! *huggles*
Hi MJ, Mustard, Kapunua, amyranth, ergo, *hugs for all*
Anonymous said...
Oh God, I'm so sorry about everything, I didn't mean this.
Right yes. Tally-Ho, Bob's your Uncle, Spot on and Cheerio!
Wat?
-A
I can see why guys have that issue-
Boxers look nice but I just can't seet the comfort in them under jeanms, briefs well, I must say I have a little pereference there.
You could try the tight stretchy boxer things?
I go for the bikini, thongs are a male fantasy and bloody uncomfortable and don't get me started on bra's!!
I am just about to ditch the one I have on and change, front opening bra's just seem like a taunt to try and make escape possible whenever I bend over!
Mayo, man am I glad I didn't leave yet...
L and I are laughing our heads off!
I know exactly why you're pondering this question:
It's cause SS wears HIS undies on the outside.
Am I right? Is there some, uh, manties jealousy going on here?
Here's a bit of advice: if you plan on wearing them on the outside...
Go for the boxers. Very sexy.
J
Okay, I really must go. I left my sister near the beginning of "Catch and Release" (it's chick flick night for us, one of the very few before she has her baby). I'm pretty sure I should get back before I anger her!
Everyone, have a great night!! =]
*hug* for all!
Mayo, choices are sometimes very hard to make. Some are life-changing. Whatever you decide, just remember, no regrets. =]
Sweet dreams to all, and to all, a good night!! =]
<3
Amyranth, I am saying nothing. I am, however, insinuating that Mayo is insinuating, uhh, stuff, and things and stuff.
Actually, it appears that you are insinuating that Mayo's Thing doesn't have any Stuff..
I'm not drinking, I swear.
-A
How heavy are your options Mayo? I'm curious.
*huggles Cupcake back* It's damn good to see you back
Ergo, why the bikini?
I wear bikini briefs, but I kinda like the classic boxer-briefs.
-A
Duuuuuuuuuude, I leave just as we're talking about Mayo's.. ahem.. man-parts? First they're hairy, now they are non-existant? Damn, just when the good stuff comes out! ;)
I don't wanna know how heavy anything is!
*closes eyes*
commando?
Hello Cupcake and goodnight PH.
life-changing lol
good night paperheartxx.
Now why is it called commando?
I call it "Augh! Where's you're frigging underwear?!?!"
-A
Blogger Amyranth said...
Amyranth, I am saying nothing. I am, however, insinuating that Mayo is insinuating, uhh, stuff, and things and stuff.
Actually, it appears that you are insinuating that Mayo's Thing doesn't have any Stuff..
I'm not drinking, I swear.
-A
HUH?? Not at all. Splash asked what the outcome was. I observed that he had left it blank, and that perhaps "nothing" was, well, the answer.
Then I went, O_O
Sometimes I wear boxers as well. I like to think they look good on me. Hehe. Goodnight and sweet dreams teddy bear. Enjoy the flick!
Be right back guys.
amy as long as it isn't speedos a little show of potential is fine.
boxers must rumple up something fierce
but guy + thong = nonononononono
he's either a stripper or some awful old overtanned wrinkly on the french riviera!
*is busting her gut*
QUICK! Wikipedia: commando!!!
-A
MAYO
MY GOD... YOU'VE CLEARLY PRODUCED UNNECESSARY MENTAL IMAGES.
Closing my eyes doesn't even help.
It's making it worse!
Hi OP's! XD
Goodnight P<3, sleep well!
It's good to be back BC, I felt rather forlorn without you guys!
I have always wonder how those famous women who run around with out underwear on do it.
They are in skirts and claim that they forget the didn't have any underpants on. I mean there is wind and people taking pictures of their no nos.
I always wondered about the commando thing too - I mean I'd assume a commando would tuck everything away securely before leaping out of planes or hut hut hutting down a building or something equally as commando like
Ergo,
Let it be known to all and sundry that male strippers are disgusting creatures.
Yuck.
-A cannot appreciate a male stripper.
Mayo,
L says actually it depends on the, uh, dimensions of what you're trying to cover.
*waggles eyebrows*
If it's average-sized, go with the silk boxers, black, always a classic.
But if it looks like you're smuggling Nessie down there, tether that thing with some briefs!
Remember, THAT WAS L TALKING. NOT ME.
J
ERGO, oh lord,
'he's either a stripper or some awful old overtanned wrinkly on the french riviera!'
ahaha! that's just... lol
MJ:
You win for this sentence.
"Pictures of their no nos."
I Heart you for that.
MJ forget , shmorget!
no one could fail to notice the breeze
also heard the term free-balling much more apt I feel
*produces more mental images*
Hey Everybody!
Mayo!
Kid, I gotta admit I was frazzled when I started reading tonight's post, especially, the "gaunt" part. But then...
BANG! You brought the LOLZ!
YAY!
*is scarred for life*
Mayo what about panties. Nice silky panties. White with a pink bow on them.
Cuppy! Where've you been, I missed you!!
-A
*dies laughing over MJ's comment* "Their "no nos!" I am so using that at work tomorrow.
Okay, so while we're on underwear.
I sometimes wear boxers over my scrawny hips because I think it looks kind of hot, then I can also stick my finger out the front and shock people. It's great.
But as far as underwear goes: bikini briefs, five, and they have to fit perfectly. Like for instance, tonight I was wearing ones that I wasn't fond of, and we ended up doing lots of high kicks and spinning kicks and aerial kicks in class tonight.
And those bastards traveled.
So you have to choose wisely, you know?
"I'm a mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin plums."
...
This is just going to go downhill from here.
-A
Holy shit.
Hey assorted peeps!
hiya cupcake I got carried away and forgot to say hello!
OP's BOTH of you were part of that weren't you!
and just watch male sprinters - hypnotic...
but have any of you *ahem* mature enough to have old '70's vinyl noticed some of the hideous testicular separations going on in some cover shots - I put forward Status Quo. I don't know how those guys walked in those tight jeans
EEEYOWSA!!!
all i can do is sit here and alternate between giggling and covering my face with my hands...
and i so ready to go into full-on dither, too.
*tsk*
BUDGIE SMUGGLERS!!!!!
and K, your sharing reminded me of a horrible underwear joke.
Thanks guys glad you liked it.
Ergo, Robert Plant used to wear jeans so tight you could tell what religion he was.
-A
Mayo?
What are you doing?
Wait.
Don't answer.
I DO NOT wanna know.
and just watch male sprinters - hypnotic...
"I love quick-time harch."
It always seems to come back to underwear in the end.
Oh, this is seriously going to get bad.
Amy. You are a future predictor.
We've got armadillos in our trousers.
It's the basis of human life, Anon.
That and, well, no. Just that.
Hi ergo, Hi Carrie! :)
Going commando is weird... I mean it just doesn't feel right, you know?... you don't know...
*shuts up*
Anonymous said...
It always seems to come back to underwear in the end.
At least we're able to keep it clean.
-A
... or what he had for lunch!
mayo forget the undies, just free ball it.
Cup, I agree.
I can't even sleep naked. It definitely seems wrong.
-A
oh, and mayo?
"Pie in the face of infamy."
good for you.
Hey cupcake!
Underwear or Texas those are the two topics that won't go away.
yay spinal tap!!
Does anyone feel weird talking about Mayo's underwear?
No?
Yeah. Me either ;)
There are a lot of people here and I didn't say hello to all of them so here is a group hello.
Hi guys
Cupcake I know what you mean. I was wearing jeans when I did it. It was different.
"oh, and mayo?
"Pie in the face of infamy."
good for you."
Are you saying that because you read the interview stuff and Mayo is Gerard. Just tell me yes or no I won't tell. ANY one.
That's where we differ Amyranth, I can sleep naked, here it is sometimes necessary...
but it's different from leaving underwear out of the whole getting dressed routine.
Keep commando for special occasions I say! ( like times when you wouldn't be keeping underwear on long anyway)
haha... anyway.....
Spinal Tap, it contains like the answers to life and shit. And personally, I like shallow Mayo posts, they are so much more fun!
Mayo, honey, we know this is a difficult thing for you.
Here, let us all take you back up to the tower. We'll help you decide. You can try on various types of undergarments, and we'll let you know which ones look the best.
And we'll choose a pair for each day of the week, too.
No, no need to thank us. It's a task we will gladly undertake, just for you. It's the least we can do after that sale at the Mall. *smiles sweetly*
Who's with me?
L.
and HI Cupcake!
and Ergo, well, you know us, don't you. :D
L.
*chirps*
Mayo did you do this so we would talk about our underwear?
oh i love naked!
*secret* I am quite happy at a nudist beach and my PJ's only come out if we have visitors
hehehehe
I used to sleep naked when I was young, now I want that stuff more contained. I know, TMI.
anon, just saying that's an attitude i generally approve of, in anyone's case.
Cup, I suppose that's the difference between us. This week I not only had on underwear, but pajama pants, work pants 2 shirts a jacket and various winter accessories.
-A
MJ, jeans and command sure does feel different. It's not as risky as going commando in a skirt or dress.
You'd have to be REALLY off your head to forget underwear in a skirt.
I mean, hello? breeze factor?
I could write a report.lol
Further proof that I am not the Dirty Bird.
Mayo's Kind of them ;)
Goodnight Mayo! Glad to hear some silly shit. It feels good.
Goodnight Everyone! See you all tomorrow!
"The Effects of the Breeze Factor on the Cha Cha" By Cupcake
Ergo, naked is fun! I myself have a fondness for moonlight topless swimming. It's very good for pretending to be a mermaid.. which i totally don't do! *looks shifty*
Amyranth, I will be doing that in winter, that's for sure, but while it's summer... haha
*KING
I guess you could be Kind of them if you want, but whatever...
you know, not wearing underwear is actually an historically authentic practice for women. panties were invented by the victorians.
Night Splash!
Martha Jones said...
Mayo did you do this so we would talk about our underwear?
Oh, snap!
Okay, for real now, guys, going to bed. Catch you tomorrow at, well, maybe here! We'll see. If it's under 300 or so it's a possibility but please don't quit commenting on my account. ^_^
Good night, guys. Mayo, thank you for the LULzies. ^_^ I seriously hope this means you're feeling more cheerful.
I remember when I was home on vacation, we went to a beach. It's not a private one, but not easy to get to.
Well it was me, my parents, my aunt and our guests with us and we were all sunning and swimming and having a good time.
Suddenly these two guys start playing frisbee in front of us and they're naked.
My mother had to drag my father off to the woods before the smart-ass words started coming out of his mouth.
Too bad, it was a nice beach.
-A
Carrie, oh my god! haha
I could soo do that!
amyranth I think cupcake and I have a very different climate to you and
seeing as she is at the base of the continent and I am at the north- a lot closer to the equator!
mj i think you have it!!
Moonlight Topless Swimming?
I can't do that here.
Too many "families with small children"
Pish.
-A
Goodnight Mib and Kapu.
Ergo, you saucy minx! Well, we'd believe it of you. You're that kind of girl.
The FUN kind! :)
J
Night, night Mayo. My question to you is pajamas or au natural?
What? You started it.
Sweet dreams and all that.
P.S. Don't torment yourself over the answer to my question.
Ergo, that is why I'm moving to Australia.
-A
Mj? You still here? How perfect was James Marsters on Torchwood? Ok, yeah, he was just playing Spike, but still?
Poor amyranth! I have a nudist beach near my place. Lots of hippies, letting it all hang out. Good for them.... but I steer clear in summer.
cupcake I have absolutely never pretended to be a mermaid
<_<
>_>
often
and yep nothing like the water against your skin!
Amy my first experience at a nude beach (fabulous place secluded bay huge granite boulders little coral reef)
was to see that guys do put sunscreen - all over!
'night mustard, 'night kapunua. sweet dreams, if you can.
D:
God, Mayo I just realized.
If you have a hard time with what kind, don't ever get into colors. We'll never see you again!
-A
Spike who was into other guys. You don't know how many times I wanted to see that happen between Angel and Spike.
Can you tell I loved it.
Must... stop.... mental....AUGH.
Thanks ergo.
-A
Everyone should move to Australia, it's flingin flangin awesome! (don't ask)
Luckily I have plenty of secluded beaches near my home, so me and my crazy friends are all set for any topless bathing! lol
Oh I feel terrible. I step away from the computer and Mayo has a crisis. I really want to help.
Mayo could you please model both?
I can't really give an opioion to help you in your time of need without seeing both options.
amyranth ...
a hard time ....
AHHHHH
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Me too, it was like fanfiction come to life!! So do you think Captain Jack has a kid?
Amy it could have been volleyball.
Mayo's PS is about Gerard. Looks like he agrees with you all and this is a nice way of saying that it isn't Gerard. I like it.
elena excellent suggestion!!
cupcake I'm not near beaches except holidays but creeks are good too!
I am jealous of you cc with the beaches and such. You are soooo lucky. I live in the thumbpit of MI which technically has a beach, but it is nastayyy!
He has to have had at least one. some where in time. I mean all the people he has been dancing with.
Goodnight Anon
Nice theory Anon.
Now, Weezer's Hash Pipe. What IS that song about?
-A
Ergo
I truly have his best interests at heart.
Yeah, I figured, I was just trying to make that scene make sense in my head. Torchwood is no Dr. Who, but it will fill the void nicely for awhile.
lol ergo, glad it's not just me!...
who doesn't pretend to be a mermaid... ;)
duh!
MJ I just realised why you said volleyball
*facepalm*
Thank you. I hope you're all thinking about it.
Elena,
Reference our comment from 11.43 pm. L had the same lovely suggestion. ;)
J
J
I haven't read all the comment but great minds do think alike.
I bet ergo! my place has a creek.It's fun to play tennis in....
But I won't be staying here, I'm moving to Melbourne in February.... no more beaches for me!
hello Elena. You must write a story about mayo and his underwear.
Anon at 11:56 I like the way you think.
Hello again everyone. Went to wash my hair real quick. Hi OP J
Ok guys, I'm turning orange at the edges, it's pumpkin time here. Goodnight everyone!
Oh wait, BC--have you read any of the MaryJanice Davidson books? They involve an unwilling vampire queen and the one I'm reading is totally hilarious so far.
oh cupcake moving forever?
Bye bye Apple Isle
Damn... you might be able to go to the beach though, not as often, Brisbane was like that.
Goodnight Carrie. I still have a while to go before the Next DR who as well.
But as long as they keep Captain John and jack coming I'm a happy girl.
Thank you martha Jones. It is nice to think that Mayo agrees with the good ladies of this board. I will hold onto this understanding.
carrie are those called unwed and dead? i think?
Hi again BC, Bye Carrie hun! *hugs*
Carrie!!!
I love the Undead books!!!
Yay someone else has read them awesome!
Have a good sleep. *hug*
Heya BC!
I think Mayo flung his underwear at us and ran...between him and SS, we've got quite the collection here!
J
Martha Jones said...
hello Elena. You must write a story about mayo and his underwear.
Oh thank you so much for making me spit Coke on my computer screen. Oh hell what an epic story idea.
At the same time though, Anon, Mayo may be referring to himself.
You never know with our boy.
Anyway, bedtime for me ladies and germs!
Goodnight Girls, Goodnight Mayo.
-A
perhaps he speaks of himself in the third person.
perhaps he is trying to throw you off.
perhaps, perhaps Mayo really is...
Yes ergo, I'm moving forever... or not! lol
My family has always moved a lot.
I was actually born in Brisbane. I love Melbourne though, one of my friends is opening a club there, which I'll be old enough to get into in June!
18th!! wooooo!!!!
ME!
I'M MAYONAISE!
ner, ner, ner. :P
-A
Is Gerard, Gerard?
Goodnight Amyranth! sleep well! :)
Goodnight and sweet dreams Carrie.
Your welcome anon.
Goodnight Amy.
Is Gerard, Gerard?
hmmm
Why is a duck?
goodnight Amyranth!
Carrie, I never heard of that series. Is it funny and good? If it is, I must check it out. Helllo Cupcake! Goodnight Amy. Sweet dreams!
As far as the identity of Mayonaise is concerned
That's ME in disguise
Are we ourselves?
Anons, we've told you before. Mayo is Harold Beansnapper from Iowa. Fuck, no one ever listens.
J
I'm Spartacus. wait i mean I'm Mayo
Night guys, and yeah, the one I'm reading is Undead and Unwed. I've also got Undead and Unpopular, and Undead and Unemployed to read. Plus there's more at the library. I just feel all warm and gooshy inside when I find a new series to read!
Goodnight Amy!
J
BC it is good, funny and well written, you must look them up.
TJ you know the Undeads as well?
(or have I asked you that before?)
lol ergo, why is a duck?
Because he wanted to get to the other side of the road. Obviously.
Or is that the answer to 'which came first the chicken or the egg?'
I was Spartacus, this week I'm Mayo, next week, the Lindberg Baby.
-A
I'm Sportacus!!
(oops too much kids tv- wonders if anyone will get that!)
Spartacus MJ? haha that reminds me of a production of it I saw... this guy was up on the cross, with overly whitened teeth. Even when the theater went dark you could see them glow...
I'm pretty much going with Mayo is a space alien. I think he was sent here to study humans. What better way then to start your own blog?
ah cupcake my dear little baked companion...
the answer is
"because one of it's legs are both the same"
muse upon it my child.....
lolololol
The Undead series rules!
Betsy is one of my favorite female characters EVER!
I got into the series after I gotbored by Charlaine Harris' Dead After series with Sookie Stackhouse. I love Sookie, but the werewolves just turned me off.
Cupcake:
The answer is "eclair".
>_<
J
Hi elena! great theory! XD
it's telephone poles because motorcycles don't have doors.
Who am I kidding? Even with the past accusations, I cannot be Mayonaise. I am just myself, although I have changed names at least five times already. D'oh!
Ergo, thanks! Does anyone read that series that has that Sookie Stackhouse character? I have the first book, but never read it. Unfortunately I don't have it with me at the moment.
Cupcake I so want to see that. Glow in the dark teeth. Hahaha
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