The click of the door brought comfort to my well worn ears and my heart sick chest. My throat, raw from futile attempts at making myself heard, was bleeding. Alone in the center of the room I am suddenly cold and tired. The heat having been drained from the room at your departure and every ounce of energy I had was expended to keep myself from begging you to stay. You had to go.
Then, relief washes over me in its sickening way. I am suddenly aware of the emptiness of my stomach and my sudden urge to vomit. To dry heave the words I did not say. “I am sorry, don’t go.” Instead, I sit. Right there, I sit right in the middle of the room that heard my pleas for you to leave, my pleading for you to stop believing and start listening to the truth. “Why don’t you hear me?...I have done such terrible things.”
Sitting there, alone with my shame, I realized I had let this drag out far too long.
p.s. make sure it is so loud that they have no choice but to listen.
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«Oldest ‹Older 1601 – 1654 of 1654Oh what a backwards post, I'm not even sure it made sense.
What I'm saying is
I'm sorry, and I miss you, and I love you all.
So that's it.
I'll try to make things right, and I'll try to be back soon.
xoxo cupcake
Okay, so I had the biggest list of flaws and the most awful ones. I'm feeling a little exposed here. ^_^;; Uhhh. Anyone else wanna go?
Fim, congrats on your team. :D
Okay, I'm going out shopping with Mummy and Granny K. (Also talked a while about the DeFeo case with Daddy K. Crazy stories. O_o )
Then I'm going to finish going through old clothes, and maybe kill some zombies. But once at home, I will be Lurky McCreeperson.
Later guys!
Hello Mayo, how are you this fine Mayo. How are you this shitty morning? No no, I apologize. It may not be shitty for you and I hope it's not.
This morning I'm feeling completely
blazzeh. Once in a while I come to the realization that my life is so different than what I thought would be. Today is one of those days.
Oh well, what can you do when you live in a shoe? I could move into a boot but it wouldn't change the fact that things are garbage.
Anyway, I hope you're doing wel..
*well*, that is...
Anon616
I do not need a room, i clam the roof, out in the open, a view of the stars, I can watch over the neighborhood.
love ya
PJ
Anon at 6:07, wonderful thoughts.
TJ, your poem is so beautiful.
Ergo, I am so sorry. That is just awful. Sending you many thoughts of comfort.
Everyone, thank you for your kind and warm words you left for me. I woke up this morning wanting to delete my post. Feeling it was just too much information and I definitley didn't want any attention. But thank you so much. Your words warm my heart. It was a long time ago - and well let's just say I survived. :) And I am thankful for all the wonderful things I do have in my life. The stuff I deal with today is small potatoes. My boss is a dick and he will get what he deserves.
All of us have had our battles. Whether we were late bloomers, the awkward kid in class, the shy one, the joker, the athlete, the popular kid, whoever we were, it is important to realize that sometimes we just do not know what they have struggled through in their life.
.
.
.
All of you are so beautifully kind-hearted. I am thankful to know each and everyone of you.
*sorry if I am not making total sense. I woke up late and still need more coffee!
Upcoming birthdays include...
Star Feb 1
Mya Feb 2
RW Feb 3
CTV Feb 13
MJ Feb 16
And Anima: Jan. 29, I believe :)
Hi, Gaggle!
Mayo,
How are you today? Will you be posting soon? Tonight, perhaps? I will be here, waiting...
Until then, I am going to the 2nd practice with this band my brother has cooked up. It isn't the type of music I would've chosen to do, but it might be fun... We're going to be running through Etta James' Tell Mama. I think I might have to throw Etta's At Last in the mix also.
I'm still suffering with this cold/sinus thing and feeling really tired, so I'm not real sure what I'm gonna be able to do today. Sure could use one of those cheater boxes today!
If anybody has any suggestions as to some other songs I can add, let me know. These guys are wanting to do Motown/R&B party/dance type music from the 60's. I am one of 2 female singers. There are 2 horn players and they are wanting to add another... Damn, a 9 piece band is a bit ridiculous if you ask me, but..
I've never worked in a band with horns and so far I find it strange... We are having to do the songs in keys that the horns have them charted for. I'm not used to working with musicians who can't play in whatever key you want. What's that about? 1-4-5, dudes... Is there something about horns that keeps you from doing that? I don't know, so I'm keeping my mouth shut... I just hate that I'm having to sing "Knock on Wood" in a key that is lower than what I'd prefer. I can't get no momentum going there, y'know?
Oh, well, Oh, well, Oh, well... It is just for fun, so, I'll have fun, dammit!
Talk to you geese later!
*honks at Mya in greeting* ;)
Holy crap! people are finally here now! lol hey everyone!
Hullo there, Majic Pie! :)
^OOOps! I meant "Magic" Pie, of course! :S
Majic! sounds all european!
Sounds all spooky and dangerous, like magick ;)
One more thing. Do you guys realize how much this blog has helped me through so much? Especially when it comes to my work environment. I was at my wits end and then I found this place. It has lifted my spirits. It has made me realize that maybe somethings in my life right now are not so bad. All of your stories, all of your strength, all of your silliness - helps me in so many ways. Thank you.
Thank you Mayo for staying and for continuing to share yourself with us. I wish I could explain how much you mean to me.
SS, it is all about the geese isn't it. You lift my spirits. I hope we continue to do the same for you.
sweet...when i start playing World of Warcraft again I gotta name my charater majic pi lol
many many hugs to you, anima!
Good Sunday Morning everyone.
How are we today? Mayonaise, shall we be expecting a new post sometime today? Yes? No? =]
Mya, have fun!
Hey RW, you are such a sweetie.
Hey Majic Pie - oh I like the new spelling. I still think about Mayo asking you about 'magic pie'...makes me giggle. ;)
Hugs to you too Magic Pie!
Hey PH! I hope Mayo will show up today. I miss him.
hey guys is this new on SS's page.
I am a 'mighty fine' goose, hear me honk!!!
or am i stupid arse who doesn't notice things???!!!
EDIT
or am i a stupid arse!!
actually i think i am a stupid arse cos now it looks familiar???
oh well bath time for the kids.
mayo can you just let me get them to bed before you post ok cos then i won't get an evening of hostility with mr bloke!! you get me!!
i am joking of course!! (sort of)
SS IS a fine goose!
hahaha yes Anima, I was quite surprised when Mayo asked me that. What a fun time that was!
Hey RW, you are such a sweetie.
*blushes* :)
Hello PH & FASC! :D
Anima, I'm so glad. ^_^ You mean so much to this blog, too. And of course, you should be on chat more often. ^_^
ANd S(S)S, I missed you yesterday so I'm going ot be a pain and post this again.
This mighty fine dude came to us with a broken wing on Friday. I snapped a pic for you. How odd is that? Well, we x rayed him (can I just tell you how hard it is to x ray wildlife?!) and the break wasn't too bad. We wrapped his wing, me holding onto this huge guy and the vet setting the bone. He might still be releasable.
Anyway, I love geese and I see a lot of them, and now I associate them with you, also. ^_^ Hope you like that pic, he was a cutie.
Well guys, off to organize my closet. DOES THE EXCITEMENT EVER STOP AT MY HOUSE? NEVER.
Well guys, off to organize my closet. DOES THE EXCITEMENT EVER STOP AT MY HOUSE? NEVER.
funny K!!
hi RW!
i just popped downstairs to refresh!!
fucking hell i do actually refresh for england!!
back upstairs i run!!
time to motor! If I don't do some sort of physical activity I'll bash my head tomorrow. Have a good one folks!
Bye, Majic! ;)
Hey everyone
Hello there BC :)
Kapunua, thank you so much. It means so much to hear that. You have no idea.
Well, you guys...I need to get working on the business plan.
Happy Sunday everyone!
Happy Sunday, Anima :) See you around!
Take care anima. Hi RW how are you?
I'm quite well, BC :) Feeling very stuffed, I ate way too much this weekend!
How are you?
Well Anima, I think you're fab. ^_^
Oh, I wanted to mention something else. If anyone else is gonna play the "biggest flaws / terrible things you've done" game, here's an addendum to that: The first person who pulls the old "I care about other people too much" or any OTHER "flaw" that is really not a flaw but an endorsement for how awesomely good and kind you really are, fails epically.
Had to say it. ^_^
Cool beans. I'm okay, just feeling a bit groggy at the moment.
Groggy?
It's how I feel sometimes when I get out of bed. Not sleepy, yet not fully awake. That's how I feel. And this damn sun is not making me feel any better
Oh well, at least it's the weekend, BC :)
I'm in blue?
Fuck yeah, I am.
I found fast internet :)
And can I just commend Starbucks and various bookstores for the installation of their super-duper fast connections?
Yes?
Yes.
Hey everybody :)
RW, that's true. Hi there mustard
hi guys!!
ok managed to get the kids to bed! hurray!!
ok mayo feel free now. anytime ok??!!
sorry i'm being silly, i'm just glad to be here just incase.
how is everyone?? have we all had lovely sundays? well mine is coming to an end 7.21pm in the good old UK.
Hello there BC!
And RW if you're still here :)
You guys okay?
hi BC, MIB, RW, K, anima, anyone else??
kapunua i have just read your flaws and well you were very honest!! i think in real life you'd scare the shit out of me cos we are probably poles apart in our ways. only kidding (kind of!!). anyway i think you have a good heart even if you don't tolerate fools gladly!!
Hey FASC!
I didn't get the chance to tell you, but I'm definitely glad I influence your decisions whilst grocery shopping ;)
Hello faraway!! How are you? Mustard, I'm okay. How about you?
Hullo Mustard! Hullo FASC!
P.S. Mayo, take all the time you need when it comes to posting a new blog. I'm not in any hurry
hello everyone!
MIB yes you influenced my condiment buying choice indeed!!!
i actually had a bit of a moment by the condiments on that day just staring at condiments with a strange smile on my face!! seriously, day dreaming like a twat!! and the 2 yr old legged it and i had one of those panic "i've lost my child" moments! its ok i found him but i started doing that crazy mum thing where you start off calling their name quietly and then you think fuck it i know its embarrassing but you start shouting their name and running!!! people just stared at me! but hey i'm kind of used to that!!
Time for me to sidle off for a bit. Have a good afternoon, everyone :)
new mayo
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