The click of the door brought comfort to my well worn ears and my heart sick chest. My throat, raw from futile attempts at making myself heard, was bleeding. Alone in the center of the room I am suddenly cold and tired. The heat having been drained from the room at your departure and every ounce of energy I had was expended to keep myself from begging you to stay. You had to go.
Then, relief washes over me in its sickening way. I am suddenly aware of the emptiness of my stomach and my sudden urge to vomit. To dry heave the words I did not say. “I am sorry, don’t go.” Instead, I sit. Right there, I sit right in the middle of the room that heard my pleas for you to leave, my pleading for you to stop believing and start listening to the truth. “Why don’t you hear me?...I have done such terrible things.”
Sitting there, alone with my shame, I realized I had let this drag out far too long.
p.s. make sure it is so loud that they have no choice but to listen.
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 1654 Newer› Newest»Yes, SisM!
That's a good idea. Let's sing.
♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
Awww, I wuv you Tricky Nikki!
Come on Mayo, surprise us. Come back and talk to us tonight. ^_^
See you peeps later!
XOXO,
Princess
bye S&V
and pixie-sweet dreams
maybe mayo was really busy today, or feeling really down so he didn't pop in, shame, I like to hear from him, it's nice to know he's there. lol
If you're about Mayo - :) ♥ 2 U
Wait...
I just scrolled up and saw Siobhan's comment about CSI Miami.
Who, what, when and where? Cuz I missed him!
Now, I'm going to go home and make my husband listen to MCR.
^_~
And I'm gonna turn it up loud.
Muwahahah.
Love ya!
...a good night song.
I'm off to bed as well.
Stay happy and healthy!
Nighty night
Mayo, my friend, I’m sorry.
You said you’ve done such terrible things. Well, I don’t believe you. You can tell yourself you’re a bad person as long as you like, but I won’t ever believe it.
You’re not that person, Mayo: you’re a sweet, caring , beautiful soul and nobody’s words will change this opinion of mine.
This person you’re talking about… are you trying to push them away? You really believe you don’t deserve their affection? If that’s the case, again I have to disagree. They won’t give up on you, Mayo, because you do deserve their love. You just have to believe in yourself.
Take care, my friend.
Love to you
SS, where are you my friend?
>_>
<_<
...?
Oh well… just hope you’re doing okay. Thank you for everything …
Take care as well.
Love to you
Hello family!
How’ve you been?
Good after-school everyone!
=]
goodnight siobhan!
lolz I have it on in the car so he has no choice!
My car = my music!
hi bellatrix!
hello PH *BIG HUG*
how's all your exams been? Are you finished now? ( I lose track of days on this blog!)
Hey ergo!
*HUG*
How've you been?
Mayonaise,
When I should've been focusing on Geography, I was focusing on your new blog. Yes, just reading it makes me heart-wrench. No matter what anyone tells you, you are an amazing person. We are here to listen, and believe it or not, yeah, we do care about you. This may have just been a dream, or a nightmare that you had, but still, it left me broken inside. (metaphorically speaking) Reading each post, I feel different emotions-- some that I never thought I would/could ever feel.
You aren't a terrible person, you are a daisy. A daisy in a field of roses. (Meaning that you are special.) I mean, aren't we all daisies in fields of roses? =] lol. We're all special in our own ways!
Anyways;
Dare to dream. Dare to live. Dare to imagine.
[as corny as that sounds, that was the conclusion to my essay that I had to write for my English exam today.]
<3
Hey Ergo and Bella! <3
Ergo, my exams are going along fine. I just finished my English exam today, and I have one left, next Wednesday. (My Geography one). Tomorrow is the last day of the first semester, and then I get a week off! =]
How are you Ergo, Bella?!<3
Hi paperheartxx!
I'm okay, thanks for asking.
Glad to hear your exams are going fine! ;)
Bella, I'm glad to hear that! =]
hello all. home from the wars.
all the way home i kept thinking "please let this just be a story he's telling us. please let this be another case of silly foolish toujours allowing herself to get carried away by something imaginary."
whether what mayo is describing is something that he had to do for the better good, or something he did because of an idea he has about himself...
i still can't shake it.
the pain at thinking of him being alone.
You and I both know that you don't have to do anything.
Sometimes you just are, you know?
And I get the same vibe as you. And what sucks is there's no way we have the power to fix it.
mustard i read your words, and maybe that's why this post has hit me with such a sharpness...
because i do know, and i don't want it for him, at all.
and i hate wanting to help him and having absolutely no power to do so.
a bird beating against the glass.
sorry people.
i'm here.
gonna be quiet for a bit.
Toujours, I know what you mean. That's why I asked if maybe this was just a nightmare Mayo was describing. I can't shake the feeling this gave me; pain, regret, hurt.
I wish that Mayo is alright. The fact that he didn't talk after this was posted worries me.
Hey BBers :)
TJ:
Maybe you should give Mayo the talking you gave me.
I can't say it "cured" me, but there have been several nights where I turn myself over because of the words you said.
Maybe he could use the same coaching.
Mayo:
I don't know what it is you're feeling or if you're even feeling anything.
After thinking, I need you to know that if someone is kind to you and loves you and wants to see you do good things, believe them.
Even if you don't believe the words they say because you don't think anyone could find anything good or nice or meaningful to say to you, listen to them.
Because, you know what?
You are a good person and a kindred soul.
If you were still the jackass you were back a few months ago, the one I beat my head against the screen for, I don't think I'd be saying the same thing right now.
There's good in you, lots of it. You deserve good things.
^^ Listen to Mustard, Mayo.
You deserve happiness. Back in September, I wanted to punch you in the face, now, I just want to hug you and make it all better for you. I don't know how. How am I supposed to help a guy when I don't know if he's here or not to get the message?
You've changed a lot throughout this journey, for the better. You do deserve to be happy. Don't give up, don't regret.
paperheartxx, i hope he was hanging around anyway. i think he probably was.
mustard, i'm touched that you still think about what i said.
i would throw every word i have at mayo if it would have the same effect on him.
they would sound a lot like what you just told him, though. :)
Hi girls! :D
Mayo, this is the very first time I've understood what you're saying...I wish I haven't.....
We're here... you know that, right?
Btw, PH, pleeeease don't sleep 'till the end of time!
That will make you PaperBear!
Besides, if you do, who's gonna hug us?
Toujours, I don't doubt that he was around, I just think it's like he didn't talk because he didn't want to talk about this.
Andie, haha awwh thanks. Paperbear doesn't sound too bad right about now! =] Just stress and mixed emotions about stuff.
Thank you though! *HUG*
yeah, paperheartxx -- it's probably just like when any of us writes a really heartfelt blog -- afterwards, you feel kind of wiped out. you poured it all out on the screen.
Probably Toujours.
Honestly, I want to cry for the dude. I really do.
I just think it's like he didn't talk because he didn't want to talk about this.
Exactly.
I can only speak from personal experience, but if something's up with me, the last thing I want is for someone to ask me what's wrong.
Because that's just about the time I've gathered my composure enough to go on with my day.
:/
Exactly Mustard. And it gets on my nerves when something is wrong, and everyone bombards me with questions. So really, I don't blame Mayonaise if that is the case.
Hi Pixie! *hugz back*
I'm okay, you?
See? I come on, and everybody leaves. What do HELL, man??? I taked a shower today! :(
Hey Sister!!<3
SISSY! I'm here! Probably not for long cuz Blogger's gonna kick me out. >_<
Hey again PH!
Hey Smokie!!<3
I gtg for now!
Bye everyone!
<3
Okay, the lesson for the day is to READ before I pout... #^_^#
Mustard, PH, you're right. You're totally right. When we first came here in Sept., most of us were baying for Mayo's blood. As time has gone on, and he's opened up, he's become someone a LOT of people care about. All of this without knowing the identity of the man behind the blog.
If that isn't pretty fucking special, I don't know what is.
All we can do for him is what we've *been* doing: we're here, and we're listening. Mayo's Mansion is still here, so all of our care & concern obviously means something. :\
oh man, i hope so sister midnite, i really hope so.
i'm just gonna believe you, ok? :)
Mayo,
My friend, how are you today? I sincerely hope that writing this post made you feel better. I apologize for not being here when this was posted. But seeing as how blogging and getting caught typing "fuck" while blogging almost got me fired, I am doing my best to stay away. Princess Smoke did call me and let me know what was going on and from then on, my mind was here. I just wanted so much to be able to comfort you with my words. Not that I knew what to say to you, but it sure as hell sucked ass to not even be able to try. So, here I am babbling as incoherently as ever just trying in my own little ragged way to let you know that I hear you.
This post brings to the surface so many emotions. It's really hard to know where to begin with this one. When that person finally walks out of that room and you are left alone, reality slaps you in the face. Alone. Silence. But not really. You hear yourself. "What the fuck did I just do?" And you answer yourself. "I just did what I had to do." And you argue back and fucking forth...one side against the other. Mind...heart. Mind saying the person had to go. Heart wanting to open that damn door and give chase. Mind knowing that what had do be done was done. Heart hoping that there still might be a chance. Mind satisfied that once again the self preservation mode was served. Heart crying out and hurting. Mind stubborn in silence. Heart screaming out to be heard. Mind feeling lucky to have survived another battle. Heart battered, mangled and bruised, but still beating. Mind will spend the rest of the evening trying to convince the heart that he was right, but the heart knows better.
Mayo, you are not this terrible person. You are human. We lie, we manipulate, we hate, we cheat, we steal, we kill, but we love, we save, we share, we heal, we care. That's what makes us special. Maybe you loved this person so much that you thought you had to let them walk out of your life rather than see the real you. Maybe they didn't want to see. Maybe the real you isn't as bad as you think. Maybe they saw you all along and they loved you anyway. Mayo, you are worthy of love and happiness. Do not sell yourself short, but, also do not sell your friends or your loved ones short either. Let them see you.
Tell your little, twisted, distorted mind, the mind that tells you how crazy and fucked in the head and terrible you are to shut the hell up...and let them hear your heart.
And even if you have fucked up or fucked them over, chances are they'll still love you and even help you fix it. If they don't, then fuck 'em...at least you were honest with them and yourself. No regrets.
Easier said than done. Yeah, don't I know it.
Mayo, I just wish that you could see yourself how you truly are.
Hell, I wish the same for myself.
I haven't talked to you like this in a long time. It felt good. Thank you for your words and thank you for always making me step back and look at myself.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. He and I don't hear the same music anymore.
Mayo's Mansion is still here, so all of our care & concern obviously means something.
Absolutely. This has nothing to do with who Mayo is or is not. Dude's a good guy. He's grown, and we've seen that happen right before our beady, bloodshot eyes.
Patience, please, my lovelies...I am listening.
Grateful for you as well...
I can’t stress enough the fact that it was your intense camaraderie that led me to believe that you all had some sort of life line with each other. You finish each others sentences like an old married couple, it's beautiful to see.
And I know that each of you hear me. You are all my insight and my mirror. It is you that I look toward to pass judgment on me...
So, for sure. He needs us just as much as we need him.
Great opportunity to just thank you, again, for all of it, Mayoman.
Well guys, I’ll go to bed.
Please Mayo, let us know if you feel any better, okay?
Goodnight everyone. See you tomorrow.
Take care. Love you all!
*HUGS & KISSES*
thank you for the reminder, mustard.
went back and re-read "from the corner", and i feel settled back in my spot, in my chair at the table.
good night bellatrix -- sweet dreams. :)
Oh gosh, I hope he does go back and read everything we say. I have a feeling he does. Mayo, do you see what you've done? Do you even realize?
If I never get to know who you are...
If I never get to see your face...
If I never fully understand what is going on with you...
Rest assured there is one thing that will never have to be questioned. You have some very special people here that care about you. You have people all over this country and the rest of the world that come back to your house every single day to check on you and each other.
Just as the others have said, you may think you are this terrible person but if you ask me, a terrible person would have never let this place happen.
You deserve happiness, Mayo. We all do. I hope you find it.
I just love reading all of your posts. I really do.
Sdock, Mustard, and others... you have summed up a lot of my thoughts on this blog. Thank you.
I am always lost for words. It upset me because I totally have been in the place that Mayo speaks of today - as many of us have. I could feel my heart breaking, the emptiness, and through it all knowing the person had to go.
I have more thoughts, but I need to go collect them.
Mayo,
I got off the internet to leave work today about five minutes before you posted this. I even checked your blog before I got off. Now it's late into the evening and I'm just getting back on the internet to find your post.
Your post makes me sad inside. Going through something like that Makes you hurt. You get a pain even at the thought of that feeling.
Cheer up. It will pass, eventually.
alie.
Mayo,
I've been sitting around for a while trying to figure out what I want to say to you. I decided to just type because nothing's coming to me.
So, here we go.
I wish I could wave a magic star wand, and make everything better, and make the hurt go away. I wish I could say something inspiring to make you feel better. My best friend is going through a horrible time right now, and I felt the same way with her. I just didn't know what to say, other than to tell her I was so sorry. So, instead of talking, I listened. Well, I bought her a bag of M&M's, cigarettes, and lots of Starbucks coffee, too. But, mostly, I sat and listened.
She's feeling better, and she told me that that was the best way I could have helped. Sometimes listening is all someone can do.
To echo what others have said, there's a bunch of people here listening to you, because we care.
And if I knew where you were, I'd leave you a care package of M&M's, cigarettes and Starbucks, and my magic star wand, just for good measure.
I'm thinking of you, kid.
* grabs swing blanket *
* walks to Mayo in the middle of the room *
* wraps blanket around Mayo's shoulders *
* returns to corner *
* waits, watches *
Hullo GS :D
GS, you just made me smile. ^_^
You know, that may be just what he needs.
GS - That is a sweet visual.
Hello Darling.
I hate to say this, but if they left anyway, it was decided long ago.
You couldn't have stopped it. It's hard to hear, harder to say.
I'm sorry I said it. I worry about you Mayonaise, and I don't want you to fall into a pit of delusion.
The pit of despair is sandy, but the pit of delusion is icy.
It'll be a hard go, but I'm here. I have salt. And I think, you still have sand on your shoes from the last time. I think you can do it.
-A
A Lie you are not wanted. When will you learn. LEAVE THIS PLACE. No one wants you here. Ever. Not now, not ever. NO ONE. You are useless and unwanted at this place.
Hello RW, Amy, S&V and Elena :)
I'm not stopping, time to hit the sack. I hope you are all okay.
Take care all, 'specially you Mayo.
TTFN
Have a good night, GS :)
I'm off to shower, shall be back in a bit...
*whispers*
Hey, Mayo.
I hope you're okay.
Bye Gnocchi!
-A
Bye GS
Hey Amy, Mustard and RW
Mustard
I hope he is too!
Hey Elena, Mustard and everyone else.
We're having butternut squash soup tonight. I'm kinda wary about it after the turkey broth fiasco.
Makes me wish Mayo's house was real, then I could say "But.... we're invited to Mayo's house for dinner tonight!", or, order pizza and eat it there on the sly.
-A
1 First God made heaven & earth 2 The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters. 3 And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day. 6 And God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters." 7 And God made the firmament and separated the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament. And it was so. 8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. 9 And God said, "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. 10 God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good. 11 And God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 13 And there was evening and there was morning, a third day. 14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to separate the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons and for days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth." And it was so. 16 And God made the two great lights, the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night; he made the stars also. 17
Because, young man Mayonaise loves lights.
You didn't think God knew how to work technological shit, did you?
Hey everyone!
Mayo, I decided to step away from the serious stuff for a while. I was wondering why you can't come and hang out with us every once in a while. Oh crap! I totally sound like a family member. "Why don't you visit more often?"
It's not that way though. If you aren't comfortable, that's cool. But you know you can just step in and step out. Post your time (for imposter situations).
Princess and I think you need to have some fun.
all of a sudden i got this image of all of us following gnothi's lead, and mayo sitting there in the middle of his place, a lumpy pile of blankets and candy and cups of starbucks and cups of cocoa and various plushies...
the only thing visible his dark eyes looking out at us, blinking.
*grin*
God, you just said "shit."
*giggles*
I never said you couldn't have a foul mouth.
Bad words make you feel better.
Anima, does that make it....
Holy Shit?
-A
Hi Elena :)
And - I never thought I'd hear myself say this - hi God!
Toujours!
That visual was awesome. It totally cheered me up!
Maybe someone will draw it??
Hmmm?
God, please forgive me.
You totally rule.
"the only thing visible his dark eyes looking out at us, blinking."
TJ, that scares me kinda.
Maybe he is by the fire, and his back is to us. And there is a flickering around his figure.
Anima, does that make it....
Holy Shit?
FTW!!
Amyranth-
Thoust is correct.
Where the hell do you think that came from?
Moi!
Resurrected Wreck-
I've been watching you. O_o
I look kinda like that ^^^
the only thing visible his dark eyes looking out at us, blinking.
Awww. This is sweet, actually. Reminds me of a puppy for some reason.
"Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds: cattle and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds." And it was so.
Edit:
And Mayonaise. Bring Mayonaise, too.
Resurrected Wreck-
I've been watching you. O_o
I look kinda like that ^^^
That's funny, God, 'cause I look kinda like that ---> 0_0
Do you think we're related??
Hey, Anima, Amaranth, RW, Toujours, Elena,
Hi, God, it's me, Margaret.
Well, no, it's really just Star, but I had to do it!
Amyranth, absolutely!
God, you are my kind of god. As a child that was the one if the many catholic rules I couldn't understand. I called bullshit on that one, but still confessed it as a sin. I cussed secretly. And it did feel good.
God, you fucking rule.
Er um, was that too much?
Amyranth said...
Anima, does that make it....
Holy Shit?
Remind me not to take a drink of anything before reading one of Amy's comments. Totally spit out my coffee for the second time today. Toujours made me do it earlier. You guys crack me up.
I never said you couldn't have a foul mouth.
Bad words make you feel better.
I feel a strange compulsion to join this religion. I think Bert is a prophet.
Hello there Star! :D
This is such a touching post. I think everyone goes through that at least once in their life.
God? Are you really there God? Maybe now I'll believe in you.
And God said, "Behold, I have given Mayonaise every condiment yielding mustard seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every human being with seed in its fruit[O_O]; you shall have Mayonaise for sandwich ladenfood. 30
*dusts hands*
That's better!
Maybe someone will draw it??
Hmmm?
>_>
*tries to go ecto*
Maybe he is by the fire, and his back is to us. And there is a flickering around his figure.
oooh, that sounds like a scene out of an anime!
:D
Awww. This is sweet, actually. Reminds me of a puppy for some reason.
:D
oh, hey, god? say "hiya" to zeus for me when you get back up there, won't you? thanks. :)
Why, certainly!
Zeus and I are tight like this *crosses fingers*!
I'll give him a ring!
*makes mental note to screen calls*
That book was kind of taboo growing up. It was in our library [or was that on the book mobile? holyshit, I totally forgot about the book mobile!]...either way, eventually it caught on and they removed it.
Shit, I missed a ton of comments. Star, that was in reply to your comment.
So who do we have here?
So Toujours when can we expect to see the Mayo pic complete with flickering firelight?
God can't help but LOL at this one:
1 The revelation of Mayonaise, which Bert McCrackalackin' gave Toro to show to his servants what must soon take place; and he made it known by sending his angel Gerard Way to his servant John[Who the hell is John in all of this mess?], 2 who bore witness to the word of Mayo and to the testimony of BOB, even to all that he saw. 3
See? It's all in the cards.
Mayo, here's the post for you to ignore that I was talking about at work today.
Oddly, I began thinking about you last night, and about this blog. Admittedly I spent much of the night in front of the TV screen playing Resident Evil4 (I still suck but I'm good at sniping,) then went to bed and read for a bit, and afterwards well, this blog just popped into my mind and lingered there. And honestly, I felt a little guilty, Mayo.
Mayo, I know you've said so many times that you like us, that you rely on us etc. And it's not that I doubt you on that, it's more like, I hope that you don't feel beholden to us. Because I mean, we talk a lot about how we don't want your blog to end, that we in some way need you because even though we could all meet somewhere else, we like to meet here best, here on your blog. And I thought, Well, what if Mayo ever wants to quit? It's hard to keep a blog (and you're really good about keeping it; better than I am in keeping my LJ.) It's hard to find the time to not only make a well thought out post, but to read the comments.
I think we've put a lot on your shoulders sometimes. "We like it here, Mayo, don't mothball us! Keep writing, keep reading our comments! We take time to write to you, you owe us your time, too!" I don't want you to feel like you owe us anything. I like it when you're around, but I want you to want to be.
All of us, waving our flags at you, Mayo. You have to read what I wrote, Mayo; I wrote it in bold to catch your eye. I wrote your blog-name a bunch of times. If you ignore me, I will feel slighted. I won't, though. Most of us won't. Your spare words for our abundant ones: a fair exchange as there are around 40 of us and only one of you. I hope you know that most of us realize this.
But I still feel a little guilty about it sometimes, because as much as you so say that you enjoy us, that you like to read our comments and all, I just hope that it never becomes a burden. I hope you never think you have to write to us. I hope you never think you have to hang around and answer us after you post. I hope that whenever you do, it's because there's nothing else you'd rather be doing at that moment. Be here if you want to.
You smell what I'm stepping in, Mayo?
I also want to add that while many of us do come here just to talk to each other, to gab about our days, nights, thoughts, dreams, fears and all the rest of that juicy stuff, many of us still do look forward to your posts, myself included. I just want you to know, I like your words; even these harsh ones that made me cringe for you. So don't ever feel that you're posting to no one. Not that that's likely with so many of us trying to address you, but still. When we do, it's because there's nothing we'd rather be doing at the time.
Well, that's what was on my mind. Keep on keeping on, yeah?
My mom used to drive the bookmobile when I was growing up. She only took out a *few* mailboxes.
Anima,
Yes, it was totally underground. I was very into Judy Blume. My wacky aunt was in the bookstore, saw the name Judy Blume, and bought me a book. It was Wifey, which was totally raunchy. I loved it!
Carrie, that is so cool. I loved the bookmobile. And it was big, I never thought about the ladies that drove them. I would be hitting things too.
My mom was our lunch lady. When that song came out, it made me sad. My mom ruled. She tried to make things healthier and she loved those kids. She refused to wear a hairnet. And when 'hugging' was banned, she continued to hug them.
Hello again, errbody.
God. How are you?
Like duh, Princess. It's God. Jeez.
I haven't disappointed you lately, have I? Like maybe in the last half hour? Okay, cool.
The talk of the 'dark eyes blinking' made me think of one of those Precious Moments figurines. O_O
Bert McCrackalackin'?
That's my new favoritist word. ^_^
I'll second that, Kapunua. Great words.
Mayo:
We don't want you to feel as if you have to do this.
Yeah, she was a pretty good driver, but she still managed to throw all the books out going around a corner too fast now and again. The worst experience she had was when she was parked at some old folks home and she looked in the rearview mirror and saw some guy taking a leak in the gastank!
Hey, god! "Thoust" isn't a word. "Thou" is and it means "you," nothing more, nothing less: second person accusative; if you've ever taken German those words will have driven you batty, but keep it in mind: almost every time you say "thou," the following verb will end in "est."
"Thee" is dative, okay, and the only time it's acceptable to use "thee" as accusative is when you're Stephen King and you're writing your own slang in the Dark Tower Series.
"Thine," second person singular OR plural possessive of "thou." Remember it, Sai.
It's' funny you used the term because that actually came up at work today regarding the girl we fired. Everyone's referring to her as "thou who shall not be named" and finally I just leaped all over everyone I work with. "THOU DOES NOT MEAN 'SHE!' THOU MEANS YOU! UNLESS YOU MEAN YOU, DON'T SAY THOU!"
It got real quiet.
Incidentally, I'm going on AIM right now: Kapunua. ^_^
Elena Darling, I DO try!
Kapunua, I like the cut of your jib.
As much as I wouldn't like it if Mayo left, I can understand what would be going through his mind if he did. Fuck, the only thing I keep updated on a regular basis is my posts at THIS blog.
-A
And you lunch lady mom sounds awesome, Anima!
Star said...
Anima,
Yes, it was totally underground. I was very into Judy Blume. My wacky aunt was in the bookstore, saw the name Judy Blume, and bought me a book. It was Wifey, which was totally raunchy. I loved it!
I read that one in the 8th grade when one of my friends got it from her Mom. It was my first porno! Aww. Meeeemories...
Amyranth said...
Elena Darling, I DO try!
Kapunua, I like the cut of your jib.
Thanks! I had it done professionally.
;D
Kidding.
Thanks, I'm glad you guys get me. Hope Mayo does, too.
Zeus said...
*makes mental note to screen calls*
*whispers*
(but we're still tight, right, zeus baby?)
So Toujours when can we expect to see the Mayo pic complete with flickering firelight?
er...
um....
*whispers*
(but elena, i'm askeered to draw mayo! O_O)
SV, are you saying you got laid?
-A
Wifey? Guh?
-A
HEY!
God didn't say he was a literate individual.
Hell, we worked off abacussessssss back then!
I so wanted to read Judy Blume, but for some reason they weren't available. Hmmmm?
K, I'm still reading your post. I'm such a slow reader. But I have to say, you have balls for calling out God. And you are totally right. Damn! God, you got served.
I read that one in the 8th grade when one of my friends got it from her Mom. It was my first porno! Aww. Meeeemories...
Porno?? I remember Judy Blume as the lady who wrote books about a sassy little kid called Fudge!
And Sheila the Great.
Princess will not release any self-incriminating information before God Almighty.
O_o
o_O
^Balls of steel ;D
And Carrie, I totally didn't even think about the books falling off the selves when they drove. That would have been really annoying.
HELLO ALL!<3
Actually, I'm lying. They did have those books at the library. I just hated libraries. Something about the smell.
*tackles PH*
Hiya! :D
didn't she also write forever? because that one made the round of the class back in 7th grade, handed from girl to girl, under the desks. ;)
Toujours don't be "askeered" to draw Mayo.
He's just a regular fellow. Who just happens to own a castle with about 40 women staying in it.
You figure they'd strap the books in somehow. Especially the S&M section.
-A
WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED SERVICE WITH A PUBLIC INFORMATION ANNOUNCEMENT FROM GOD
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
11. Thou shalt not role play in BlogBelieve.
12. Thou shalt not pretend to be members of My Chemical Romance.
13. Thou shalt not pretend to know members of the aforementioned band.
I AM ALL KNOWING AND ALL SEEING SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PULLING THAT KIND OF SHIT HERE, GOT IT?
OR I WILL SMITE THEE!!!!
ANIMA - WUT.
I love library smells.
well... most of them *wrinkles nose*
-A
God - You totally were that cloud that was flashing in binary to Bender, weren't you??
"Why don't you smite someone that deserves it for a change?!"
-A
didn't she also write forever? because that one made the round of the class back in 7th grade, handed from girl to girl, under the desks. ;)
Yep, that's her. Though I preferred her earlier stuff.
Speaking of books, one that I'd requested from the library came in today. I'm going to start it tonight, so I bid you all adieu :)
Toujours don't be "askeered" to draw Mayo.
He's just a regular fellow. Who just happens to own a castle with about 40 women staying in it.
but that's just it, elena! the whole scenario is just so...so...gothic. and i'm talking castle of otranto gothic, mind, the original stuff.
40 women in nightgowns wandering around the castle grounds at night, trying to figure out if that was a specter or just their mysterious and somewhat foreboding guardian...
i wouldn't be able to hold the pencil!
You figure they'd strap the books in somehow. Especially the S&M section.
O_O
And on that note, Princess is going to quietly slip out the front door.
Sweet dreams errrrrbody!!!!
XOXO,
S&V20
40 women in nightgowns wandering around the castle grounds at night, trying to figure out if that was a specter or just their mysterious and somewhat foreboding guardian...
i wouldn't be able to hold the pencil!
You could always picture Mayo wandering around in a nightgown...
'Night night, S&V! :D
Toujours I love gothics. I'll write the book and you can illustrate. Remember first rule of a gothic. Must have woman on the cover looking distressed with a castle in the background. Bet you can't tell I've read a ton of these, can you?
Heading off now...
Have a good night, everyone :)
You could always picture Mayo wandering around in a nightgown...
with a boa...?
i wouldn't be able to hold the pencil for the giggling!
You could always picture Mayo wandering around in a nightgown...
RW you totally made me fall out of my chair laughing.
Wait..long nigthgown or short?
elena, believe it or not, i actually took a college course on the gothic novel. we started with the castle of otranto and went through to rebecca, and even had to write our own short stories.
it was fantastic.
i can do gothic. no prob.
i think we've got our team!
This one would be right up his street, TJ.
Elena, I can see Mayo in a long, old-fashioned fine linen little number. With a pin-tucked bodice and scalloped lace edging.
Kapunua, I just finished your post (well, I also took a few breaks...)
Regardless, this is a great post. And I feel that you speak for all of us. Or at least me.
I feel like I have said this before, or maybe I just thought it and didn't comment, that Mayo should not feel obligated to post. This is for him. This is his place. He is free to leave anytime he wants to, or to take a break if he needs. And I think he will let us know.
It is completely natural that some want to grab his attention. Or want him to come around just in casual chit chat. We care about him, and just as we want to spend time with everyone here, we want Mayo to feel a part of this. I am thinking back to one of his posts where he felt separated from us.
I don't think he feels obligated. If and when he does, I think he will share that with us. Or not.
....babbling. Sorry.
And now, to go read...
*RW is all literate-like*
Night :D
Elena and Teej.
I googled that, a man in lingerie.
Hoo boy.
-A
Elena, I can see Mayo in a long, old-fashioned fine linen little number. With a pin-tucked bodice and scalloped lace edging.
Okay RW I'll go along with that. With those long sleves with the tight wrists with lace. Sure it can't be short?
Toujours we need a name for the book. Something like "Moonlight on the Dark Mayo Moors."
that boa would go perfectly with the pin-tucked linen, resurrected wreck! :D
good night, enjoy your book!
amyranth, you have to be extremely careful with what you google. it's a powerful powerful thing.
hello mayo *waves a friendly wave*
how are you?
Thank you for your post. as always you never seem to fail.
Do not surrender your ears
what about if your surrender your voice. then you would not be heard when the most important thing you need at the moment is infact to be heard.
when you need to let all of your feelings, all of your thoughts out, is there someone to hear you. is there someone to really want to be there and listen to your words. to understand how you feel. is there someone there that actually wants to be there. have you found that person, if you have then scoot over to me and let me know where i can find one.
be happy mayo, thats all i ask.
Toujours we need a name for the book. Something like "Moonlight on the Dark Mayo Moors."
yeah yeah!
or...
"rosealba and the man in the tower"
Amyranth, I don't know, something about old book smell that gives me a stomach ache. Maybe it was just the libraries in my town.
Oh, and I hate reading. It is a real struggle for me. Even when I'm enjoying the story.
Sorry I disappeared! My parents made me go practice guitar stuff. =]
How's everyone?! =]
<3
Christ, I need to keep that man out of the kitchen.
-A
*hugglomp!
hi paperheartxx.
*grinning up at you from around your ankles*
hello everyone
Hey Fimblestar and Paperheart!
How are you girlies tonight?
STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how are the NJ skies?
i am ok, just plodding along as usual hahaha nothing new. going to chat in a min.
Hey Fimble.
So listen to this. He's making Butternut Squash soup. Smells fantastic from here. A few minutes ago he hauls me over the stairs because the blender isn't working. I go up and he's got the blender assembled and FULL of Squash, potatoes and apple. (Bear with me here.)
So I take a look at the blender, the bottom isn't completely screwed on, which explains the SPLAT of squash mix on the backsplash wall. So I empty the mix, clean off the blender and wall, retighten the base and add some mix.
Nope, too thick. He's got chunks of apple in there that would choke Mister Ed. So he whines that the recipe didn't say how small to chop the apple or the squash. I go check the recipe, and it says:
"Before adding the squash and apple mix, use some of the water from the pan that you boiled the squash in to mix the squash and apple with."
I reiterate this to him and he goes quiet. Then I hear:
"Okay, go 'way now."
-A
Hey TJ, FS, Star, Amy!
I can't stay, I have my head deep in this book that I can't put down! It's really good! =]
I hope everyone has a good evening! =]
Love dearly;
- 007
<3
To clarify: Mayo, in my post to you when I said that you could ignore me, I was being half-ironic but the point is that you always can ignore any of us and we shouldn't feel slighted. Just wanted to be clear on that. We most of us like to hear from you and of course, we're all waving our flags, but you are not to feel obliged to answer us. That's all I meant. ^_^
hey amy and 007. how are you both
i am just watching 'without a paddle' which is crazy in its own right.
amy, can you throw me some over here please.
*waves at imble....er...fimble*
:D
don't go paperheartxx! what are you reading?
Fimble, whenever he gets it done. Christ, this takes a LOOONNNGGGG time!
Oh well, all good food is worth the wait. I may have just found a great recipe for Gnocchi!
-A
have i just had deja vu?
hey andie how are you. been a long time.
amy i will look forward to it.
tj, imble ays ello
Toujours....perhaps something like this?
The lightening flash with the trailing rumble of thunder served only to darken this mood further. Lord Mayo, or the Dark Lord Mayo as the villagers referred to him in hushed whispers, turned from the window. He had grown tired of watching the approaching storm. Tonight a storm of a different kind was brewing inside his own castle walls.
His ears caught the sound of the restless woman downstairs in the castles main room. They were waiting as always for his appearance. Always waiting in hopes of catching a brief glimpse on the man behind the mask.
With quick strides he moved across the room to the bedside table. His hand touched the cool brass pull of the drawer. Should he open it and unleash the hidden truth that was held within? Would the women flee in fear?
^Yeah, that's like a synopsis of what I wrote! We all see Mayo the same way, I guess. ^_^
Speaking of, I haven't even started the next chapter. I need more pictures! And I need o finish another sketch I'm making.*
But I will get it done, for serious. Weekend, probably. ^_^
*And I'm playing, like, a lot of Resident Evil 4.
I'm so hungry I'm googling recipes and drooling. Not good, ya'll.
-A
*breathless with joy*
elena...so....
so totally YES!
more more more!
*puppy dog eyes*
and maybe, maybe i'll see what i can do about a portrait of d.l. mayo.
*eep*
TJ, if you do, could it go in the story? ^___^
Toujours I was like thinking you were gonna write the next part.
hello girls!
Hi fimble!
look at that big smile...you sneaky beggar kapunua! ;D
truthfully, i've been getting a bit of an idea about that recently. i don't know if it will work out, but if i can manage to do something i'm comfortable with...
no promises!
hi andie.
how are you. have you been hiding?
Mayonaise,
I haven't been around lately, so many things going on, but you are in my thoughts especially after this post, it's..... it makes me sad, but it's good to 'hear' from you.
I hope you're feeling ok. :)
SS, I'm still loving your last post, makes me smile each time I think of it, and for that, I thank you.
FAMILY, I love you all so much, I'm kind of out of the loop right now, but I'm still thinking of you guys as I go about my business.
Hoping your well, hoping you're smiling.
I have to go now, it's 2pm here in Oz, and I really need to have a nap before I go out again, but hopefully I'll see you all in the morning. Your morning that is, my late at night. lol
hugs and kisses,
xoxo cupcake
p.s if there are typos, sorry! I'm in a hurry! XD
Toujours I was like thinking you were gonna write the next part.
omg.
really?
*stage-fright*
o-okay.
:)
No worries TJ! Whatever you feel comfy with, even if that's nothing. It's perfectly cool. ^_^
Say. Does anyone remember Laundry Anon or Whisky Sour" We heard from both of those anons once I think, months ago, and never again.
Who'd they turn out to be? OR did they leave for good?
His hand touched the cool brass pull of the drawer. Should he open it and unleash the hidden truth that was held within? Would the women flee in fear?
a moment he paused only, then withdrew his hand. no. it was not yet time. his plan had not yet reached it fruition.
down below, the ladies swirled through the halls in all their bright array. though they were astute and clever to the last, dark lord mayo had taken pains to keep the truth hidden so deeply, none had glimpsed it. he turned on his heel and paced back to the tower window. he would have to keep his secret a while still.
but little did lord mayo know that the weathered wardrobe in the corner held a secret of its own: one of the women crouched trembling within, her eye placed at the gap between hinge and door. she had no idea that the narrow passageway beneath the cellar lead up to the lord of the blog's own chamber!
her breath she held close, but she still feared discovery for her heart hammered madly underneath the pin-tucked linen of her gown.
she was frozen in place, unable to make her escape. there he was! before her! lord mayo himself!
what thoughts darkened his brow? what mysterious secret did his bedside table hold?
And of course Calaf/Spooky/More Of This Anon, are you about the premises? Even though I think you might be two different people? I'm not sure on that, but I suspect. You feel different. Anyway, haven't read you around lately. I hope you're well. :)
Can't deny, I'm constantly intrigued and I hope that someday, at least, I will find out.
(Especially at November 25th 2007 12:03 PM, 12:25 PM, 12:58 PM, and 1:02PM. You told me, "Another time, Kapunua." I'm asking you two months later: When? :D )
No worries TJ! Whatever you feel comfy with, even if that's nothing. It's perfectly cool. ^_^
cool cool. i got the idea to actually draw the portrait i always imagine i'm talking to, and i want to do it right.
*cringe*
i'm glad you're still working on the story, though! :D
As we speak, actually. ^_^ I'm sorry it's taking me so long. It's a big anonslaught. ;)
sounds truly epic, in fact.
ex-cellllllent. :)
I've been great, fimble!
hehe I'm just walking around the house and realized that I don't have a room....
...Wonder if I can take the attic? I love the view!
ohhh andie, you could deck the walls with groovy wallpaper
oh i dont have a room either. maybe i will go claim in the cellar?
The attic? Are you quite sure?
A little treat for you...
You may have seen it: it's my first time seeing it. I love it.
Enjoy:
The Used in concert
Goodnight everyone.
anima, i was looking for you before.
goodnight and sweet dreams
Oh Fim... the cellar. ^_^
Okay, really, going to bed now.
Still, Calaf/Spooky/More Of This Anon: calling you out. Hope you're all right.
Awww, thanks Fimble. I miss you!
Thanks for the 'sweet dreams.'
good night anima. :)
whoa, kapunua, that attic is coooooool. i'm jealous of andi now! where do you find these great pics of mayo's place??
well, anyway, good night to you! :)
Excellent Toujours...
Give me a minute.
oh jules i can so totally see my bed go between those two pillars.
anima, thank you so much for that video, i was kinda watching it and i was amazed. i loved it.
cheers, bert can really sing fantastically cant he
Mayo:
Hey there. I don't have many insightful things to say to you. Mostly, I just want you to have your space and breathe for a bit.
In the morning, it might not look quite so bad.
I hope you're okay and you rest and take it easy.
Do you still believe?
SS:
What are you doing!? Doing WELL I hope ;)
Seriously, this is crazy as shit. Well, probably not super crazy, but whatever.
So, I try to use good grammar all of the time. Just practicing so I don't goof up when I really need to use it, like at job interviews and shit like that.
You'll be so disappointed.
With a slip of the tongue today, I almost said, "Hey, I'm good!"
Oh, but the thing is, I didn't! I stopped at "guh" and just went on about my business hoping that the other person wouldn't notice. You know what I'm talking about. That really weird moment when you do something totally awkward, like trip or something, and you hope that no one saw? It was kinda like that.
Anyway, made me think of you. Hope you're doing well, and all's sunshiny in your world.
See you around, buddy :)
TJ, GOogle is my best friend. ^_^
anima said...
A little treat for you...
You may have seen it: it's my first time seeing it. I love it.
Enjoy:
The Used in concert
Goodnight everyone.
Anima, thank you!
The stuff he's doing with the mic and the audience just after 1:00 till around 1:30 is hilarious and weirdly adorable.
Holy crap, and his voice is beautiful, isn't it? Dude's got some amazing pipes, one of the best live singers, isn't he? Knows how to treat an audience, too. Nice change up from Gerard and his rotten attitude towards the people who pay to see his show. 5:26 gives me chills in the best way.
This whole thing is beautiful. Such a nice thing to watch before bed. Thank you, Anima. ^_^
HEy MOM, WATCH THAT CLIP! You'll get a kick out of it. ^_^
5:23 I mean, up till the end. Hell, the whole thing. So lovely.
HEY MUMMY K, *waves like a frantic woman*
ok well i got chills when he started to sing then scream, then sing, then scream. not sure on the time but i think it was in the middle. t felt like there was so much emotion in it and when he had his eyes closed i was like ohhhhh whats in his mind?
hmmmm, that looks a bit creepy, K!
Maybe Mayo will let me build an extra window...
I'm sure it'll look comfy with the groovy wallpaper and a few pink daisies :D
hehe you can stop by,toujours!
pink daisies?
wow sounds groovey baby.
what thoughts darkened his brow? what mysterious secret did his bedside table hold?
If only he had lit more candles. His features, while unmistakably strong, were hidden by the shadows. As she watched he continued to stand at the window. If one did not know better he was so still it looked as if he was not even breathing. Perhaps the whispers of Lord Vampire had gained strenght because of this trait.
Moving slightly she tried to see him more clearly. He was not a tall man, yet he stood straight and proud. His straight dark hair fell just below his collar.
Finally movement, as he swung his arms to clasp his hands behind his back. He leaned foreword slightly as if studying something below him on the castle grounds. She feared it was several of her friends who occasionally ventured out of the castle. They did this, not by choice but because they were forced out by an unseen entity.
“You really should go.” His deep, rich voice echoed through the room.
“Oh” she cried as her heart leaped to her throat. How had he sensed her presence? Had she given her self away in some manner?
“I have given my lovelies free reign in my home but tonight I need to be alone.” He spoke without turning.
“Sorry” she muttered as she quickly turned back to the secret passageway. Without another glance toward him she made her way back to the cellar. Her heart was racing, her thoughts confused. Had he been angry? His voice did not seem so, it had sounded almost sad.
When she found herself back in the safety of the darkened cellar she sat a moment and tried to collect her thoughts. His voice still echoed in her ears.
oh, thank you, andie! we'll have a cozy time! :D
Running through the blog.
Goodnight all.
goodnight martha
sweet dreams
OMG
i worship you elena i truly do!!
when he spoke?
swoooooon! so awesome! i even jumped here in my chair!
crap, how can i follow that?
ok. i'll try.
i have to run some errands, but i'll try when i get back!
:D
Evening all!
Elena, TJ, we are LOVING the Mayo thriller. Gothic, with a twist of Harlequin Romance and James Patterson as well.
Not soft-pore corn, but we'll get to that one of these days.
J
Evening J
How's L? Good I hope.
Toujours and I were just talking about how much we love gothics.
I've never written with anyone before this is fun.
Better then Kapu's story.....It doesn't exclude any one!!!! Keep going please!!! Don't let her think she's the only one who can do it. I like it. its good to see some one put her in her place. You're a better writers anyway.
L's not quite as loopy, or as weepy. Yesterday was bad, but today was better. She's more herself today.
We're both still so happy for you!
Co-authoring can be a blast, hunh? We'll have a great time when we do ours. TJ can join in if she wants--TJ, are you still around or are you erranding now?
J
I posted a comment at her's too. Don't let her think she is special ANY MORE.
omg I am so incredably happy you guys are doing this. I love you for this!!! omg you don't even know...... it makes me happy.
Stop it anon. Kapunua is doing something totally different. And seeing that Elena and Toujours are BOTH taking part actively in her story I very much doubt that they are doing it to "shut her up". Stop causing trouble.
Did you even read her story? You are exactly the kind of anon she is talking about. Just leave.
Anon/s, both Elena and Toujours ARE excellent writers! I agree, they should definitely continue. Wonder what's going to happen next at the Mayo Mansion? I can't wait to find out...
J
anons, can i ask you something please.
why do you have such a problem with kapunuas story?
hey there J, how are you tonight
Ok ANON of ANONS just stop. This isn't a contest. Kapunua's story is very good so don't start this. Thank you for saying you like what Toujours and I have written but it is no better than Kapunua's story. And if you don't stop it I'm not going to write another word. Don't try to cause trouble. It just makes me cranky.
Better then Kapu's story.....It doesn't exclude any one!!!! Keep going please!!! Don't let her think she's the only one who can do it. I like it. its good to see some one put her in her place. You're a better writers anyway.
this is a load of crap.
kapunua's story is great, and so is ours!
i'm having fun too elena!
i'm still here j, but i really ought to get going. i'm making my ex listen to dead! lol ;)
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