p.s. it can hit the fan tomorrow.
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I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Art by: Toujours
No Contest
even if no one gets me, if i'm the only one laughing at my jokes, i won't hide myself away from life. it's uncertain and it's dirty and it's fucking exciting, and i want to be a part of all of it.
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
heart full
Today on my way home from class, I stopped off at the petrol station for some petrol. I paid on my card which wasn’t a lot, and then as I was getting into my car, I saw an old man walking past the building. He had a red and green stripy jumper which was frayed at the ends. He was also wearing some jeans that were dirty and had holes all over.
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
It helped.
Jennicula,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Blog header image by: Anima
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
something
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. If you've had a shitty day and you feel like people just don't want you to be happy, and when you find yourself struggling to make it through the day, just keep on believing and keep the faith. Also, from personal experience, don't push people away. When they say they want to help and that they are there for you, let them in. Believe me, I know how fucking scary that thought is, but don't shut others out.
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
Retro-spectacled
Sometimes, when you look back on stuff in your life, you know, the crap that makes you shake your head and say, "Holy shit, what the Hell was I thinking?" it's part of what makes you - you.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
aloft
Blazing against the sun
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
Electric Blue
…today I saw a ulysses butterfly it was in our yard and settled to feed on our hibiscus. They really are fantastically beautiful things, the electric blue is amazing, however as they sit with their wings closed they are rather nondescript and dull. Sometimes people are like that, from the outside they seem unappealing but within there hides an amazing beauty for those lucky enough to see it. I hope you appreciate beauty in all things, and look for it perhaps where others miss it.
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I read your post again and suddenly without warning memories of construction paper filled my head. I remembered all the lop-sided flowers my girls made when they were young. Bright blue, yellow and pink flowers that were cut out with blunt end scissors would fill the windows to decorate for Easter. An occasional bunny was attempted but those usually ended up looking like creatures from a horror movie. Flowers were so much easier. I can close my eyes and hear the paper being cut into petals. I can smell the Elmer’s glue squirted on in huge blobs to attach each misshapen petal to form the flowers. We had a huge arts and crafts box full of wonderful items just waiting for their imaginations to turn into something wonderful. In my mind I see my daughters, as they once were, small, blond little girls sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of paper and other art supplies. They would create their masterpieces then proudly show each other. Oh and Lord the messes that would ensue if the glitter made an appearance. Now, the box is forgotten. I’m not really sure where it even is anymore. The few flowers so lovingly created that survived are faded and dusty and high on a shelf they sit. Time marches on, so many things get left behind.
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
From the corner.
I wonder if you noticed
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
Thank You. Truly.
"This little world has grown around us, out of nothing, and it is a remarkable thing. Even the dark and dirty parts, the violent parts. Humanity will not thrive without passion."
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Uncondensed
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Character Advocacy.
"Don't ever pretend to be something you're not. You are who you are, and no one can change that. The people who don't like the real you are just gonna have to suck it. Don't take shit from anyone. Don't crumble. Throw a few birds, and walk on.
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Art by: Toujours
“I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.”
Jean-Dominique Bauby
Jean-Dominique Bauby
1,000 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 801 – 1000 of 1000here we go, miss t, get ready.
>.<
~super-employable vibes~
can you feel them, miss t?
007. i was away for a day but i still missed my international spy. i ow you a comment. it will be on its way i promise.
Hello there ho-lita
XD
santa saying hehehe
is evil and creepy
*hands Sdock a ton of glowsticks.
[has dirty thoughts, then backs away].
TJ that post looked so cute!!!
ergo,
I love discussions like this.
fundaMENTALLY flawed sdock10 loves the MENTAL stimulation
MissT and Mustard are going to streak. I have a feeling.
I can feel it TJ.
And with these new super powers I can use my x ray vision and find sdock.
Hey sweetie, take my hand and we'll leave this forest cos it's getting a little chilly now.
TJ, I felt them. Wow. You are good.
ho-lita,
Whaddya say you, me, anima, and the glowsticks go make out in the forest?
Crap. How does one go about eliminating procrastination from their life?
Fuck. I'm so screwed.
Hey sweetie, take my hand and we'll leave this forest cos it's getting a little chilly now. I will go with you. Is that okay?
Anima, I can streak if you want me to.
did you see my schrodingers cat post Sdock?
MissT,
I see you now! Come here, come here...we're making out in the forest!
I need that spanking you promised me.
Break off a good limb and give me a whacking!
Anon @ 8:22
"Tell me just how dangerous is second best.
You've settled for less and I'm sure you'll settle again"
Well, that whole song is pretty much about what you said but that about sums it up.
Anima, grab my other hand sweetie.
Capture This Void said...
Crap. How does one go about eliminating procrastination from their life?
I am absolutley the last person you should ask that question of
Entropy, darling! I've missed youuuuuu.
Sister M ain't here so I'll grope you instead.
*gropes*
anima, were you looking for a job? because you might just get one now!
*yes i am that good*
ergo, you liked my scrunchy face? >.<
:D
CTV, where is my grope?
Sdock, I've got a branch and I'll spank you when we make our way out of here.
CTV, I wish I could help you. I'm an offender too.
Squeezes MissT's hand. (Sorry it's cold, I'm a smoker.)
And yes, a streaking always makes me smile. ;)
ergo,
huh? a cat post? please explain.
Apologies, Miss T. How could I forget?
*gropes*
AND
*snog*
Better?
TJ i just pictured this little concentrating sort of powerpuff girl
Hey CTV!
I've missed you too! What's been going on with you? You good?
*Snogs*
Sorry you had to see that, MissT.
007. i was away for a day but i still missed my international spy. i ow you a comment. it will be on its way i promise.
I was still worried about you though! *blushes*
If you buy me a coke zero later ;)
Hoes gotta work for their dough, dontcha know...
Wassup!?!?!?!
Now, I'm really banned from the computer for the rest of the year. And it's kind of past my bedtime.
C-YA!
P.S. - Auntie Socky, get to recording my tv shows, will ya? Like now! Love ya!
Wait..
A Cat Post
A cat posted a post, like to a blog?
OR
A cat post, like the thing they scratch on?
Rahahaha, I'm goofy tonight
Capture This Void said...
Crap. How does one go about eliminating procrastination from their life?
Don't look at me. I work great under pressure.
Nah, that's bullshit...my undiagnosed ADD will not let me get things done ahead of time. But I'm a planner and a worrier, so go figure.
Not much, Entropy. Pretty dull over here. What about you?
And don't worry, love. Miss T is totally fine with us.
from 2:26 am
I though I would post something that this has remeinded me of for a long time.
re the identity of Mayo
it's a theorum of Physics, Quantum Physics in fact, called Schrodinger's Cat
here is an explaination:
Here's Schrödinger's (theoretical) experiment: We place a living cat into a steel chamber, along with a device containing a vial of hydrocyanic acid. There is, in the chamber, a very small amount of a radioactive substance. If even a single atom of the substance decays during the test period, a relay mechanism will trip a hammer, which will, in turn, break the vial and kill the cat. The observer cannot know whether or not an atom of the substance has decayed, and consequently, cannot know whether the vial has been broken, the hydrocyanic acid released, and the cat killed.
Since we cannot know, the cat is both dead and alive according to quantum law, in a superposition of states.
It is only when we break open the box and learn the condition of the cat that the superposition is lost, and the cat becomes one or the other (dead or alive).
This situation is sometimes called quantum indeterminacy or the observer's paradox:
the observation or measurement itself affects an outcome, so that the outcome as such does not exist unless the measurement is made.
(That is, there is no single outcome unless it is observed.)
In short, not knowing who mayo is allows him to exist in a state of unknown, able to be anything/ anyone.
only in observing, will his state be fixed, and the outcome becomes unchangeable.
I quite like the opportunity for mayo to be anyone,
But that is our paradox.
(sorry if I confused anyone)
Nice grope CTV.
That's OK a little threesome with Entropy is fine with me.
:O Whose littlehawkman?!
anima, were you looking for a job? because you might just get one now! I'm always looking. It's the one of the more important things I'm having trouble fixing.
And I did feel it. Thank you!
So are we planning on streaking now? ;)
Goodnite, Littlehawkman
Auntie Socky will give you whatever you want. Alls you gotta do is bat them baby blues at me and ask.
Ho-lita, anything you want baby. Even if it is some nasty shit like coke-zero.
Just kidding...
sdock10 has never tried coke-zero
Hello Littlehawkman! It's nice to finally meet you :)
I think I'm alone. *Goes to look for friends.*
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
sdock it is better than diet coke.
hi littlehawkman
Hi entropy
TJ i just pictured this little concentrating sort of powerpuff girl
wa-haa! i always wanted to be a powerpuff! but my teddy bear beat me to it. he always gets to do all the good stuff. *pout*
and you're welcome, anima! i hope my vibes truly help you out. :)
:O Whose littlehawkman?!
S&V's son, PH.
Ho-lita, anything you want baby. Even if it is some nasty shit like coke-zero.
Just kidding...
sdock10 has never tried coke-zero
*gasps*
How could you have not tried Coke Zero by now? It is like the queen of all soft drinks!
Aw, hey littlehawkman!
Goodnight! Hope to see ya soon!
The rest of the year is only a couple weeks so.
CTV, Nothing here either.
MissT, I'm glad.
Oh wait, I missed littlehawkman!
Hello and goodnight littlehawkman
Ergo,
Thank YOU for that. I missed it earlier. I love it.
Oh my GOD that was sooooooo interesting.
Describes it perfectly.
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
I'm happy to be able to report that I am doing for a living what I've always wanted to do, though that came about the long way around.
Ergo, that's a lovely analogy.
S&V's son, PH.
I am very slow! I knew that she had a son, but I didn't think he would actually post on here!
*pinches his cheeks*
Adorable, just like his mom.
anima I would love to be a backing vocalist for rock bands
Hey Redrum.
Ergo, you confused me. I think it may because I read it fast.
Coke zero is my cocaine.
I'm a snake charmy, Socky! I get my Zero one way or anotha!
That's great to hear, RW.
ergoproxy said...
sdock it is better than diet coke.
ergo and ph, it doesn't take much to be better than diet coke.
Anima, if I could be anything it would be one of 2 things...either archaeology or music.
sdock10 is spastic like that
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
I have no idea. No I'm not happy doing my current job.
thanks sdock/ redrum I love the whole logical philosophical paradox thing.
I felt it was most appropriate for mayo and ss
Hi and Bye littlehawkman you little dude.
I am very slow! I knew that she had a son, but I didn't think he would actually post on here!
*pinches his cheeks*
Adorable, just like his mom.
He's posted at DM a few times, but I've always missed him.
I'm off for a shower, brb...
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
I would be in a band, or an actress, or a hairstylist.
hello, redrum, good to see you.
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
this is maybe just my version of running away to join the circus, but everytime i'm at a concert watching the stage set-up, i really want to do that. or try it at least. i think it would be fun and interesting.
and i love doing physical work, so that would be cool.
or silly. ^.^
I've gotta get going, guys. Have a good night. Take care everyone.
Hello redrum
He's posted at DM a few times, but I've always missed him.
I'm off for a shower, brb...
Apparently I have missed him as well! Awwh! Wow, I feel bad now. (don't ask)
Enjoy your shower RW!
Sweet Dreams CTV! *HUG*
ho-lita,
We couldn't just do cocaine instead of coke-zero?
...just kidding
sdock10 is not a coke head...at least not that kind.
I can't imagine doing anything but teaching high school English. I love it.
However, I would like to just follow bands around and go to concerts/shows every night. But, that's not really a job.
That's great to hear, RW.
:)
Though if I had to choose something else, I would be very interested to work in anthropology or something to do with the medicinal & ritual use of natural herbs.
Hey Martha!
Goodnight, CTV, my foursome/threesome buddy.
*I'm still here. Just reading.
Thanks for posting everyone.
Bye RW!
PH it's like things can be in any state until you observe them then it fixes.
Like you don't know if the world behind you exists when you aren't looking at it
see ya, capture this void. ^.^
Thank you for explaining Ergo! That makes more sense! =]
actually i love backstage work, I'd really like to do lighting set ups, or pyrotechnics.
something exciting and slightly dangerous
Goodnight CTV, sweet dreams.
Martha, I'd love to be doing my Egyptology as a job.
I love what I do now. Owning a book store is all I've ever wanted to do. However secretly I've always wanted to be a tour manager for a rock band. How fucking weird is that?
um.
my bullets cd is playing a (silent) 12th track.
wtf?
elena, would you hire ergo and i to work on your crew? :)
Goodnight CTV
fo'real though, this superho's straight edge! :)
However, I would like to just follow bands around and go to concerts/shows every night. But, that's not really a job.
Me too. If I could watch music every night, I would be in heaven.
Toujours it's a sign of the apocalypse.
TJ, have you read what it says around the Bullets CD?
*Get your ass in the bed, Littlehawkman!!!
Just playin'. He has gone to bed though. Bless his little heart. I got to entertain him somehow. It's Dish's fault. Fuckers.
I wish ya'll could have heard him pronouncing names.....
Ka-po-nee-a
Miss-tet-en-am
Ha! I laughed. He just looked at me like WTF?
Lolita, you are straight edge?
elena, then it's a good thing i don't believe in the apocalypse or i'd be soooooooooo freaking out right now!
*whew*
there is a They Might Be Giants song that goes
Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering
It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering
You're free to come and go or talk like Kurtis Blow
But there's a pair of eyes in back of your head
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders
What the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of
Should you worry when the skullhead is in front of you
Or is it worse because it's always waiting where your eyes don't go?
Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering
It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering
You're free to come and go or talk like Kurtis Blow
But there's a pair of eyes in back of your head
Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go
I love those lyrics from a thinking point of view
Of course I would hire you and Ergo. We could keep any group in line.
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be? And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
Either create a clothing line, be a roadie, or become an author.
Hi there entropy
Sorry, that was a silly question. I skimmed by it.
So you have heard of Shelter. I hope, otherwise I will fell like a big old loser.
TJ, have you read what it says around the Bullets CD?
lol yes! i love it when bands do clever little things like that. :)
TJ, have you read what it says around the Bullets CD?
What does it say?
Elena, I have an idea for you. Check your email in a few minutes. ;)
ok we have a crew all we need is a band
I love those lyrics from a thinking point of view
however, it's a whole 'nother matter from a creeped out point of view! *eek*
elena, we'd put on the best shows! bands would love us!
S&V, I love how he pronounces my name.
sdock, do you want that spanking now?
The lyrics around the cd says something about Gerard coming to your house and sucking your blood. Am I right?
someone else will probably beat me to this, but here's what the cd says paperheartxx:
"unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws and will result in gerard coming to your house and sucking your blood."
XD
Thanks BC and Toujours!
I wouldn't mind G-Way coming to my house and sucking my blood! ;)
he hasn't been to my place yet....and I'm waiting!!
TJ it is a very creepy thought as to what may go on behind you lol
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be? And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
OMG, like for real? I would totally be either an interior designer. Even though you'd never know it by looking at my house.
Kind of like Flip This House sort of stuff. That would be soooo fun.
Or, maybe a photographer. Even though I don't even own a camera.
It's ok. I got it all planned out.
This shit is eazy peazy......
As far as my real life job, it sucks. I love the people, but it sucks. Collecting money from people is soooo not fun. Especially when they think everything should be free. You're just supposed to forget that they just drove up in a Jag.
You can just imagine how my 'Ice Queen' personality helps me out here.......
And with that I'm done. I'm sleepy.
Sweet dreams errbody!
Hugs and Kisses to you Mayo!
SS, I'm gonna pinch you when I find you! Love you to pieces!
XOXO,
Princess S&V20
I think most of us are waiting to have our blood sucked
toujours said...
elena, we'd put on the best shows! bands would love us!
Well of course they would. We totally rock
Hi everyone....
i'm sitting in a chair at my table with my back to the rest of the room -- i do wish you'd stop bringing up what might be behind me, ergo!
*afraid to turn around*
I know!
I wanted to duplicate it when I was younger. Too bad he's a bigger ho than me now. We work the same corner (store) where we get our coke (zero).
Goodnight S&V20
Mayo,
How are you today? Conflicted? Aren't we all? Just sit back and read us and you can see that not a single one of us has our shit figured out yet. But, it doesn't stop us from trying, from talking, from listening, from crying, or from laughing...because some of our shit is funny as hell. Me? I'm good. Calm and ready to take my little night, night pills so that sleep will find me. Insomniac much?
So, we're waiting on you buddy. Did you hear me? We, us, your little family here are waiting on you. You know why? Because that's what families do. It can't be that bad...can it? What's the worst possible you can think of? Got it in your head yet? Pretty fucking terrible? Ok, surely it's not that bad. If your imagination is anything like mine, you can take shit to some pretty horrible places so I know that it's not as catastrophic as you might think it is. And guess what...if it turns out worse than you thought then we'll deal with it. We'll pull together, we'll rally around you, and we'll help you fix it. We'll help you fix yourself. Will you let us do that for you?
Mayo, look what you have created here for us. The least we could do for you is to be there for you when you need us.
Here's my hand....reach for it.
I'd offer them both to you, but I'm holding on to someone else's too. And so, and so on...that's how we do it here.
Wishing you nothing but the ability to see things exactly how they are right now....It doesn't look so bad from where I'm standing.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. hand in hand
night S&V
lol MJ we all have stacks of pirated MCR Cd's in our homes
good night smoke&venom, and hello cupcake. ^.^
Sweet Dreams Smoke! *HUG*
Hey Cupcake!! *HUG*
I wanted to duplicate it when I was younger. Too bad he's a bigger ho than me now. We work the same corner (store) where we get our coke (zero).
Lolita, you crack me up! ^_^
TJ sorry - I'll stop now.
perhaps we should advertise to hire ourselves out as a crew
Goodnight and sweet dreams smoke.
your welcome teddy bear
goodnight S&V, sweet dreams.
Someone say spanking?
Bring it on!
Go ahead and give me one for tomorrow just for good measure.
Hi cupcake!! how are you?
Hi hi hi V!
I've got bad influences on me today, PH.
hi there cupcake how are you?
-BC
Tsk Tsk Lolita!
=]
Ho-lita, are you okay tonight?
Princess Smoke, I can totally see you as an interior designer. You should check into that.
cupcake you need to add to the tour
http://noneventmass.blogspot.com/2007/12/mayos-world-tour.html
Hi cupcake
TJ sorry - I'll stop now.
*whew* thank you, ergo. :)
perhaps we should advertise to hire ourselves out as a crew
excellent idea. i could list myself as "brawny girl, strong like ox", and include a drawing of my prodigious biceps.
you?
*slaps Sdock's hot ass* ;)
*aaaaannnnnnnd one more for good measure*
Not hearing from Lolita makes me feel (not fell) like an old loser. :(
Yep, I'm a-okay. It's just....I'm gonna blame Jenn and Fimble and Miss T. For making me bad. :)
Anima thanks for the e-mail. Sent one back.
Today a good friend of mine is in mortal peril.
I put it like that, because that's how he'd want me to say it.
His cousin told me, because I meant a lot to him, everyone knew that.
A car crash. I don't know the details. I don't know anything except he's in critical condition.
He was very depressed..... and the last time we spoke, I kind of blew him off.
Even depressed he only cared about how I was doing.
My Mother is sick, anemic and the doctors can't figure out why she's so goddamn thin.
I feel sick. Only extra xanax is keeping my lunch down.
I look around my room and it's no longer familiar or comforting.
My poor Grim......
I'm so sorry.
OWWWWWWWWWWIEEEE!
Do it again, anima!
I could be small and agile, able to tolerate heights and good with her hands
;)
I wish ya'll could have heard him pronouncing names.....
Ka-po-nee-a
Miss-tet-en-am
That is too cute.
Yep, I'm a-okay. It's just....I'm gonna blame Jenn and Fimble and Miss T. For making me bad. :)
They're a terrible influence, aren't they? Especially that vodka-sipping, giraffe-riding FS! ;P
TJ & Ergo the crew needs a name.
aw cupcake that's terrible
I don't know what to say
*gives you a big hug*
I hope it turns out ok and I'm sure he understands you spoke in the moment, not that that was how you felt about him
Cupcake look around this house. You are surrounded by love.
Oh dear Cupcake! *HUG*
I am sure that your friend and your mother are going to be alright. Just stay strong, you hear? That is terrible news.
Your friend wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over this now would he?
*HUG*
Cupcake don't worry we are all here for you
cupcake,
Honey, sounds like you have a lot of shit going on. I wish I could say something to make it better.
I hope so ergo.
I felt like something bad was coming...
His cousin is so upset.... practically incoherent.
They don't think he's gonna make it.
Cupcake look around this house. You are surrounded by love.
Exactly.
We've all pulled through some tough stuff with the help of everyone here.
Love is something that we all need and can give unconditionally. Right now, I say that we could spread some loving.
*HUG*
sdock, bend over and take it like a man *thwack*
Cupcake, I am so soryy to hear that. Are you gonna be ok?
Thanks you guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
*HUGS*
Cupcake, I'm sorry to hear that. Remember that you have all of us here to help you get through this. Hang in there *hugs*
that's just awful cupcake, I hope he does but sometimes bodies are just too damaged.
I'm sure the doctors are doing all they can.
If you meant a lot to him, he would know your heart by all your words and actions and he would know what he meant to you.
It's a hard thing to deal with ,but I believe he would know.
be there for each other and we can be here for you, as much as we can
I feel.... I feel like I've never felt before. I don't know what to do.
We're here for you cupcake. Just remember that.
cupcake, just take one thing a time. don't try to do it all at once.
and hang on to us if you need to.
*hug*
Cupcake, I'm so sorry.
Cupcake,
Cry. It helps. Really it does.
I wish there was more I could do. If I could, I'd give you a REAL hug right now.
*HUG*
I have to go for tonight.
I love you ALL.
*HUG*
- 007
Yeah, Karen, pitting me against G-Way in a mud battle for the turf....
Again, thank you. Some moments, this is all that stands between me and a handful of drugs washed down with hard liquor.
Cupcake, the only thing I can tell you is that you need to get ahold of all those around you. You need to be around others that are there, that can embrace you.
noght PH *kiss goodnight hug*
cupcake it's very normal to feel like that, just like TJ said, don't try and force anything. And don't jump to conclusions, but be prepared.
It's the waiting that is hardest, you feel numb
Oh V, never turn to that. Don't lose yourself in the process.....I know it's hard, but the most important thing that you have that can keep you sane is a mind free of chemical burden.
Yeah, Karen, pitting me against G-Way in a mud battle for the turf....
0_0
My money's on you, ho-lita.
It's just a shame that all my friends around me are too fucking sick or broken to hold.
Cupcake Honey don't even think anything like that. That's the cowards way out and you are not a coward. You are a strong woman. We all are strong cause we stand together. You e-mail me anytime you need someone to listen. I'm good at listening.
Goodnight Paperheart, sweet dreams.
Cupcake, just vent as much as you need to. We are all here to listen.
Hang in there Cupcake. Surround yourself with friends and family who can hold your hand.
yes cupcake,
talk all you want here, we listen.
Take care paperheart *hugs*
Cupcake, I agree with anima. I think this may be the time to surround yourself with those who care about you.
We're here for you, whenever you need our support.
As long as I've got his pocket rocket, he's no match for lil me. He'll be squealing like a banshee by the time I'm done.
Cupcake, just think of healing. Put all your energy towards that goal.
I know it's stupid, but I've made such a mess of my life, a little part of me feels like I should've seen this coming. My worst fears, loosing the few people who really love me.
good night paperheartxx.
cupcake, when you feel at your darkest, you need to go outside, even if just for a moment, and look at the sky, and breathe the air.
i know that sounds like such shallow advice, but it really helps to derail the dark thoughts.
you aren't alone, ever.
I've got to head to bed now, must be up at the ungodly hour of 6am *gags* So until tomorrow... have a pleasant evening bloggers, Mayo, SS, m., confessed anons, lurkers, Littlehawk mand & Kapunua's mom!
*squeezes Cupcake*
HI all,
Cupcake I am sincerely sorry about your cousin, but please hold on and stay here.
Everyone is here to support you.
Ho-Lita - like I had to twist your arm to get dirty.
pfft. :)
^Littlehawk*man*
Damned typoes...
Goodnight Ph.
cupcake it's alright to cry. You can vent to us. We will be hear for you. You can hold me I won't break and I'm not sick.
good night resurrected wreck, and hello katherine. ^.^
Goodnight RW, PH and anyone else who is leaving. Thank you again for your support. *hugs*
hi katherine!
cupcake, unfortunately it is life and it's not a reflection of who you are or what you've done, stuff happens to everyone and it's tragic when it does.
Be with others now, they will need you as much as you need them.
Ho-lita, I bet my money on you ^_^
Goodnight RW, pleasant dreams.
MJ believe me, if you were here I'd be curled up in your lap.
Ahhh, finally, here come the tears.
Night RW
Hey Katherine
Goodnight rw and hello kd
Goodnight RW.
Cupcake, it is not lost yet. Send out your good thoughts and hold onto that.
Anonymous said...
Settling will only ever lead to unhappiness, resentment and regret for both parties. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
"Tell me just how dangerous is second best? you've settled for less, and I'm sure you'll settle again."
Second best is very dangerous, I agree.
Oh, are we talking about Schroedinger's Cat? One of my alltime favorite thought experiments. Metaphorically you can apply it to almost any theoretical situation that is considered "up in the air" but that actually sells the thought experiment way short. It's more profound than it is mundane because it expresses better than any other hypothesis the subjective nature of every aspect of reality. People don't get that reality on a quantum level is even stranger than any thought experiment that can be applied to mundane things like the internet and work and stuff like that. It's quantum. If you understand it, you obviously have not "gotten" it.
I have the Schroedinger's Cat t shirt, too. ^_^ I am a quantum geek like that.
Here's a question. If you could do something else for a 'living,' what would it be?
And if you are happy doing what you do now, tell us that too.
I am. I really like my job because I've always wanted to work with animals but still have the freedom to run away whenever I wanted to. I also work with a great group of people and we've become very close, like an extended family.
My dream is to get my stupid book published (it's sci-fi with some quantum thrown in there,) but I think even if I did and got like hugely rich (el oh el,) part of me would always still kind of long to work where I do now.
Hey Cupcake, hang in there. If you need to talk, to rant and rave, whichever, or anything, we're all here to listen. Everyone proved that to me this week. So if you need us, we're here.
Jenn, you held me DOooown in the mud! Twisted my arm and held me down. Now I'm so dirty, I'm dirtier than GW's sheets. (Hey, he said it first, not me)
You guys have to see all the teenies jumping all over me at MCR's Lj community because I said I didn't like Gerard's new behavior and the whole "moan for me" thing he's doing. WOW, they don't like the fact that my opinion doesn't fit their view of him.
Ah well.
*pokes the hive with a stick*
Kapunua, thank you. I'm so sorry I wasn't really there for you lately, my heart has gone out to you, believe me.
XX
You know cupcake what you just say in you last post made me feel happy. I'm glad to be able to help you anyway I can.
Damn it I'm becoming an old woman i want to cry.
Hey Ergo! (and Kapunua's mom)
Cupcake, Ergo is right, stuff does happen to all of us, especially when we least expect it, and most times we don't know how to react.
Crying does help, it's a good form of release.
Ho-Lita: it was only for a little bit, and you said you liked it.
I'd do it again, I tell ya!
K, good to see ya.
Now I'm so dirty, I'm dirtier than GW's sheets.
I was changing the batteries in my lightsaber when I looked up and saw that. That got my attention!!
I dropped my batteries!
it's good to cry, and it's not 'fair' and it hurts and it's awful
but
you will get through it and he may still make it, send him positive thoughts, he needs them now whatever happens
New Mayo post
Hi Kapu!
What a boring world it would be if everyone agreed with each other. How would there be any progression?
Well I'm currently releasing all over the keyboard. Ha! I actually made myself laugh.... and now cry more.
MJ You help more than you could possibly know.
Hello kapu you must link to this Lj i want to see.
I'm moving to Mayos new blog darlings, come with me?
I'm moving to Mayos new blog darlings, come with me?
Anonymous said...
anima said...
I don't let myself dwell on the guilt of that. It's like settling. Yes, somethings are settled on. But the important things, you can't cut yourself short. Relationships especially
Settling will only ever lead to unhappiness, resentment and regret for both parties. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Anonymous,
You're not alone--I hear you.
The problem begins when you decide that the relationship you're in is the "right one" because you either have no one else to compare your partner to, or because you think "this is the best I can do".
What happens, then, if you meet someone else, someone who feels so right, so definitely MADE for you? Do you sit tight with your current partner, comfortable in your familiarity? Or do you take a chance on a grand passion that takes you completely by surprise?
A lot of people make the mistake of fulfilling others' expectations at the expense of their own happiness. L had a friend who, several years ago, was marrying a man she didn't truly love. She was standing at the door of the church, L next to her, and she was worrying about the future with her soon-to-be husband. L told her she didn't have to marry him, that she could walk away right then, that it wasn't too late. Her friend looked at her and said, "But everyone's in there, they're expecting me to go in, I don't want to disappoint people, and think about all the money his family spent..." She did eventually go in, and she married this man she didn't love.
Not many years after, they were divorced.
Basing your happiness on what others want or expect from you is not the way to live your life. You have to do what YOU want, what will make YOU happy.
Settling ain't gonna do it.
We all deserve to be happy. And if you're with someone who doesn't make you happy, you should ask yourself, Why? Why am I settling for this? Find the person who brings you joy, who gives you what you need to exist, who completes you. Enmesh your soul with theirs. It's never too late.
Because, as we like to say around here, its all about the love.
J
Hi there, KD.
I was just trying to catch up with some of the old names, by searching old Mayo blogs, and I noticed you're deleting.
And that your profile is off. I am sorry to see you doing this, but you must have your reasons.
What I was wanting to say here was goodluck, because if I remember correctly you have your wedding coming up, maybe? =)
So horseshoes and blue, and old, and new, sweetie.
Kisses and hugs,
and best of wedding day luck.
xoxo
p.s. I never was much of a poet!
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