I am sitting at a table with friends, it is dark and loud. I am bored. I am absently searching for something affecting to distract me, when I spot myself sitting across the room. I am at a table with some friends…and I am staring right back at myself. I am unable to look away. The gaze between us has me transfixed. Then he, the other me, shuns me with a smirk and joins the conversation at his table. He is speaking, and his hands are gesturing along with his alluring tale. His friends are captivated by the unconstrained other me. I envy his ease. Now I am alone at my table and I am singing to the other me. My song is pleading for him to hear, to once again find me, but he does not. And just as I am about to stop singing, you grab my hand and pull me up from my chair, and I wake up.
p.s. it is because the light reflected from painted glass is ambiguous. mirror me in your words, and that is where I find clarity. as do you, in each others.
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«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 800 of 2692 Newer› Newest»Oh sorry, tonight it was TJ.
Hi Roger, wink wink.
MJ, that limerick slayed me. I agree about MSI sucking, as you very much know. Dude, it's so not about who is banging whom, that's part of why that guy from MSI who said we were "ALL JUST JELLuS!!!11" requires a foot embedded in his colon. And truly, even if they were the greatest band musically, even if they were, like, the next Led Zeppelin*? yeah, Panty Shot.
*Not. Opinion: Musically, they eat a bag of dicks, jumbo. Sorry, Mom.
BCV, miss t, anima, good evening... morning... night!
Bloody time differences!
K, did you say Bert was here? Did I miss something? Or was that the Ghost BM? (I loved your joke btw regarding that!!)
It's ridiculous how much I make myself laugh.
Pretty sure I know who at least one ghost is in this graveyard, but I don't quite want to say how I am sure. Perhaps we can meet at another blog, or if you want, you can email me. ^_^
I meant BC *face palms*
And Kapunua, Hi!
Hi, Cupcake! You're yummy.
Hey guys, how do you all feel about answering a random question? I've got something I'd like to ask you guys.
Hello cupcake. I don't recognise that name.
If I havn't met you before the let me extend my hand to you.
very nice to meet you.
Well shit you can't even walk away from this blog for 10 minutes. SO here is a group hello to all my friends that have returned.
Hello
Hello there cupcake. It is nice to meet you. How ware you? You sure sound delicious ^_^
Ok, Kapunua. What do you want to know?
Hello hello martha.
Kapunua, ask away.
I'm crying even more now and it is becoming difficult to see this damn screen. Why don't eyes come with windscreen wipers.
Thank you people for your lovely words.
Now the tears I am shedding are not ones of sadness.
hey there, miss t, beeyootiful.
read your blog, left a comment, and that's why i'm not going to wink at you right now...
oh no, i have other plans.
sneak attack hug!!
*glomp*
*hug*
*hug*
*hug*
*hug*
*hug*
*hug*
mwah-hah-hah. i perfected that move on paperheartxx.
*is satisfied*
I'm new and delicious with extra creamy frosting!
And I'm very well thanks, still laughing my ass off about the limerick I must admit!
Goodnight, all.
I am turning this back over to J. now, and going to bed.
Thank you again for all your love and support today. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.
Pactum Serva, Its all about the love.
L.
Okay cool, here's my question, and it's open to all of you. Mayo, SS, of course that means you guys, too. (Bear in mind, all of you, that you are not obliged to answer any of this stuff; if you're busy or just don't feel like it or whatever, just be like, "STFU, not now" or something. Honestly. No pressure on junk like this.)
So, what's your worst irrational fear? I'm not talking about those deep, sneaky, draining fears that keep you awake--the stuff that can actually happen, you know, like losing people you love etc.--but the utterly irrational ones, ones that are either utterly impossible or so unlikely that you don't actually HAVE to fear, but you do anyway.
Mine is Deerman. Or at least one of them, I'm actually full of quirky fears, but Deerman is like my biggest one. And I have halfway convinced myself that I saw him on Tuesday. Because I'm retarded like that.
How about you guys?
Geez I leave for 5 minutes! lol
Goodnight L. So happy to have you back.
Love to you.
good night, l. sweetest dreams to you!
L. Sweet dreams. Yes, it's all about the love.
What has happened MissT? Everything is obviously not okay if you've had to resort to tears.
Did I miss something?
Thanks OP for your lovely comments. I'll keep on hanging in there. Us daft uns'll stick together.
Goodnight and sweet dreams.
Thanks TJ. Your comment was gorgeous too. A huge soggy snot filled hug back. SNIFF.
Kapunua, what's a Deerman?
Goodnight L.
May tomorrow be better for you. Tis a new day with new beginnings.
Sleep well.
miss t, tears from being overwhelmed? you're like me, acts of kindness make me loose it!
Hi there squeak squeak. How are you doing? Good to hear you're doing well cupcake ^_^
As for irrational fears, I have to get back to you on that one. That question is quite tough for me.
Hey has anyone heard anything else about the MAMA video? Apparantly it was supposed to be shown in New Zealand earlier this week...
MissTottenham said...
Hi Entropy.
Do you realise, that you are always the first person to say hi to me whenever I appear. It always makes me smile.
You have no idea how happy that makes me.
I always try to say hi to everyone when they first walk in here because I know how crappy it is to never be greeted.
Kapunua, funny you mentioned messaging you. Check your myspace.
Ahhh Toujours you silly devil! I will get you when you least expect it my pretty.
Kapunua, that is a question that I wasn't expecting. I don't think I have one! Or at least I can't think of one.
good night l you have sweet dreams and come back tomorrow. kapu i have no idea i must think about it.
i mentioned my irrational fear a long while back, but thinking about now, in response to your question, kapunua, it's still my biggest wtf? fear.
i'm afraid that i might unwilling hurt myself -- like, my body will just take over and put my hand down the running garbage disposal, or make me step off that cliff, etc. i think, "whoa, what if?" and then it's like i think my body's going to go "hey! great idea!". wtf?
so i cannot use power tools because of it.
those spinning blades?
too much temptation.
Nightie night everyone who's off to bed!
My most irrational fear?
A Zombie plague!... but that's not irrational, it could happen! *prepares to get into emergency bunker*
I have to think about that K.
My fear is the same as Tj's and cupcake.
Most irrational fear? Maybe falling down the stairs. I get hurt alot, unfortunately. Because of that, I have alot of scars all over my legs.
Thanks cupcake, I do that too.
When I went back to work after dad died, everyday, about 10 peple would've hugged me as soon as I got through the door and I'd just be blubbing again. This never stopped until I left. Whenever I go back it is still hug city. It makes me cry but I like it.
Entropy, I always make a point of saying hello back to you. I could never ignore you sweetie pie.
A huge soggy snot filled hug back. SNIFF.
ooh. er. thanks.
no, really.
*changes shirt*
i'm afraid that i might unwilling hurt myself -- like, my body will just take over and put my hand down the running garbage disposal, or make me step off that cliff, etc. i think, "whoa, what if?" and then it's like i think my body's going to go "hey! great idea!". wtf?
OH, JESUS! I do that, too! It's totally crazy, but I do the same thing. Also--and worse, actually--I'm afraid that I'll momentarily lose all reason and hurt someone else. Like if I'm talking to someone, especially someone I feel really close to and everything is so nice and warm and lovely, everyone laughing and generally having a swell time, there's this dark part of my brain that starts to freak out and wonder... what if I just kicked them right in the head? How horrible it would be, to hurt someone out of the blue like that.
It sounds actually kind of hilarious when I say it like that, and even kind of funny to picture it right now, but I do actually fear that. And it's utterly irrational.
Deerman is a whole 'nother comment. Gotta check my MySpazz first. ^_^
I know,you're cool like that MissT!
Thanks.
miss t I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
Oh toujours, i sympathize! I'm rather like that, only it's because I occasionally turn into a clumsy idiot. Only the other day i was trying to do the simplest of tasks (eating) and as i lifted the fork to my mouth, it veered off course towards my cheek. My mind screamed no! stop! but ofcourse my hand payed no attention and I stabbed myself with a rice laden fork.
I will get you when you least expect it my pretty.
you know i can't be scared about getting a hug attack from you, right? because i'll act scared if you want, but..
*waits for attack*
martha, really? it's the same? that makes me feel better, i think. unless, it means our bodies really might rebel...
*oh dear*
Hi there entropy. Remember that you are loved. ^_^
there's this dark part of my brain that starts to freak out and wonder... what if I just kicked them right in the head?
and you can totally see the entire scene, right? humans are twisted. completely twisted.
and I stabbed myself with a rice laden fork.
omg! cupcake you'll have to pardon me if i giggle at that, because the image is just too much. i'm glad you survived, though. stupid hand holding a stupid rice-laden fork. *psh*
^.^
i'm afraid that i might unwilling hurt myself -- like, my body will just take over and put my hand down the running garbage disposal, or make me step off that cliff, etc. i think, "whoa, what if?" and then it's like i think my body's going to go "hey! great idea!". wtf?
Were you just in my head? I think the same thing!
Just so I'm flying my freak flag even higher....
The dark, but only because that's when the zombies can put spiders in my hair.
Mayo,
I ADORE YOU...well, the "old" you...come back please.
Thank you MJ.
Roger, I've now stopped blubbing so you can commence winking any time now.
Was it Kapunua who asked about irrational fears? I know I've said mine once but I'll say it again.
Electrical appliances that get hot.
The big no no's are irons,hair straighteners or other such things, sandwich taosters (evil, the spawn of the devil. Have you seen them spit the cheese at you as you get near, exorcist ain't got nothin on them baby's).
I can't even lift a normal iron two handed even if it is switched off cos they scare me so much. I have an irrational fear that they will launch themselves at me and land on me and burn me.
I have a little baby travel iron and that is the most I can manage, but when it starts to smell hot I have to switch if off cos it makes me feel sick.
Oh, yes the things that smell hot as well as getting hot make me wanna vomit.
Although the fear is of being burnt, it is totally limited to electrical appliances that get hot. I have no problem with fire,it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Now all point and laugh at the weirdo. Go on, I can take it.
My entire childhood,I had nightmares of tornadoes,everynight.
It was most of the time,me in my room looking out my window and then suddenly seeing a tornadoe coming over the hill,but i could never do anything,it just got closer.
So I was always afraid of tornadoes even though I live in a part of the counrty where it is impossible to get any.
I no longer have it though.
Miss T, sorry I was gone for so long. I just read your blog.
I am searching for something to send you....I will be right back.
Wassup? Heeeyyyyy!
Oh, I'm back
The fog has lifted
The earth has shifted
And raised the gifted
You knew I'd be back
So pack your bone
Hit the road Jack
The Princess is home!
Muwahahah!
Ooooh, new song for a 2nd grader!
Kapunua, you will love this. Guess what my son's new favorite song to sing? TBS - Liar
It is too funny, I swear.
Now, if I can only teach him some Bert McCookies.......
L!!!!! You came back! YAY!
Sis, we're waiting on ya!
Irrational fears? Bad hair? Does that count? Nah, that is my worst freakin' nightmare! Ummmm, that's a tough one. Like you said, I got the regular stuff that I'm scared of like drowning or suffocating. Yes, I am claustrophobic and only because my older sister who shall remain nameless used to cover me with a blanket and hold me down when we were little. Thanks alot, Luci. I'll have to ponder on that for a bit, K.
Just a quick ramble and I'm off again. Yes, I'm rambling, I know. Well, hope you are all doing well tonight. That includes you, Mayo-naze and of course, as always, SS.
And I know I should run.......
Run away? Maybe for just a little while.
But I'll be back tomorrow.
^_~
Love ya!
S&V20
P.S. - Until then, still trying to escape the inevitable......and K, I dream of kicking people in the head on a daily basis. It's what gets me through the day.
Irrational fear;
A monster of some sort grabbing my feet. If I'm going up the stairs, I have to run because I don't want any "boogey man" to grab my feet. I can't have my feet hanging out from my blankets at night either. It's been my fear since I was a little kid.
It hurt like a bitch! but it was extremely funny!
I often got to scratch my face and poke myself in the eye too!
Hello and goodbye S&V. Love you too hun! *HUG*
Can someone whack me in the head with a baseball bat? This headache is such a pain in the ass! Ugh.
When I was little I used to be scared that the train that I would hear at night would come off its tracks and come crashing into the house.
Lets hope that our bodies don't rebel against us.
Good night and sweet dreams smoke. *hugs*
Thank you for your kind words anima. I'm sorry I made you cry.
I'll look forward to what you are going to send.
Cupcake! That is soo cute! I can't help but laugh because I do that all the time as well! Sometimes it's like my hand or the utensil I am using has a mind of it's own!
Hi BC! I remember,thanks!:)
How are you by the way?
and you can totally see the entire scene, right?
I'm like that,like if I come really close to getting hit by another car,I go 'danm I wonder what would have happened to me if it did', and play the whole thing in my mind.
MissT,you remided me of my fear of plugging things in.
I'm terrified of getting electrocuted by plugging something in. You know when sometimes you plug something in and there's a spark or shock? Yeah,I see that spark and think I'll get electrocuted.
I'm beginning to think I should see a doctor about it... perhaps it's some sort of problem with my brain... of I'm just a simpleton... it's probably the latter!
It's me again!
I told you guys it was working. Thanks to all you special people who convinced L to come back! And isn't it great.
Irrational fears? Let's see. I have this weird fear of being abducted by aliens. L's certain that's because I must have been abducted when I was a child. ?? Got me. I also worry that my cats will die unexpectedly, and that's kind of irrational b/c they're pretty healthy, although Dumplin does have a heart condition. But it's under control.
L's irrational fear is of werewolves.
My RATIONAL fear is that L will throw a knife at me. Accurately. ;)
J.
and K, I dream of kicking people in the head on a daily basis. It's what gets me through the day.
That's awesome. ^_^
Oh, MJ, you reminded me. When I was little, I was afraid that fire engines lived in my closet and were going to come screaming out at night and run me down. I hate fire engines to this day; thus, I even dislike parades that have them.
And clowns, naturally. There is actually a clown who lives in the swamp down the road from me. He used to drunkenly roam the street all clowned up. I kid you not. A Swamp Clown.
Your welcome entropy. I'm doing good, just have a little headache. How is your evening?
Goodnight Smoke!
OP,
I am deathly scared of getting abducted by aliens too! AND the world getting taken over by aliens!
Zombies putting spider in your hair.
Way to combine my real fear spiders and my irrational fear of zombies. Thank you so very much.
PaperheartXX, that's funny, my Mom has the same fear of being chased up the stairs. ^_^
Any time, Martha. If I can compound a fear, I will. Irrational or not.
I am also scared of Clowns and Mascots, Kapunua. At parades, I would hide behind my dad. At football games or hockey games, or anywhere that a mascot would be present, I run in the opposite direction when I spot one.
Kapunua, I had a boyfriend who's parents were clowns. The first time I met his parents, they were dressed up, at the dinner table, holding knives. Needless to say, I was not cool about the situation. :)
Ahhh! mj, that could be the worst thing ever. Zombies+spiders.... *shudders*
My evening is great,thanks BC!
Sorry about your headache,I would hit you with a baseball bat but I would feel bad afterwards and you wouldn't feel any better.
Ha Entropy!
I did get electrocuted. Damn thing threw me across the landing. I don't mind telling you,I shook for ages afterwards.
I honestly do believe that electrical appliances can come to life and launch themselves at me. It's always the burny one's though.
My friend once showed me a photo of her brother. he had a v burned on his chest from the iron. he had tripped over the ironing board and it had landed on him. She and her friends were all laughing st him. I was nearly crying. I was like "what's wrong with you people, why are you laughing, that is horrendous".
It would have been my worst nightmare. You would've had to lock me in a loony bin and thrown away the key if that ever happened to me cos I would never be sane again.
Lol thank you entropy XD
AHH Miss T!
That is very disturbing to think about!
I would probably laugh at your friend's brother as well, although I'm sure I would cry.
Now you have me scared of electrical appliances!
Miss T, I can't find it...I am trying. No worries about making me cry. I am happy you shared that with all of us.
I will find it! It is the best thing I have ever read about our loved ones passing away.
Kapunua, I responded.
Everyone, I am multitasking and I suck at it right now. I am so behind. I will be back....
MissT:
I just read your blog. The strength you have shown isn't measurable. I can't even imagine having to do some of the things you've been forced to do. I am so sorry for the loss of your father, especially at his young age. It's never easy having to lose a parent. Be strong with your mother. She's such a strong lady having faced that major battle. Be strong for her as well. All things, in time, will work out the way they're supposed to. It's just a matter of patience. Truly, you are an amazing individual.
MissT, what struck me in your post that I could, in a way, relate to is how you said your dad was so proud of you and your sister for having graduated college, as he should be. Thinking about this, I wished selfishly that I could get my father to do the same. He says he's proud of me, but some of the words he uses say otherwise. Some of the most hurtful things I've ever heard have come from my own father's mouth. So hurtful that I ended up in the middle of my bathroom floor with my iPod grasped between my shaking hand, volume turned up as loud as it would go playing and replaying:
And it's all too familiar
And it happens all the time.
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisting heartache into fine
Little pieces that avoid an awful crime...
We swing and we sway
As this tiny voice in
My head starts to sing
You're safe, child, you are safe.
"We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing, 'You're safe child, you are safe.'" I distinctly remember playing that one song for over an hour. I did it so I could try and block out the pain and the hurt. I'll never forget that day because that was the first day I felt absolutely worthless. My own father didn't even appreciate who I was, and all I was was a puddle of salty tears on a cold linoleum floor.
I am so happy your father was proud of you. Cherish those memories, for I wish I had them.
And I can't leave the rest of you out either. You're all amazing in every sense of the word. I swear, one day I will find the time to sit down and read every single one of your blogs. I will do that. I want to know you all better. So, take this as a promise. It will happen.
Swamp clowns and your boyfriends family dress up like clowns at the dinner table.
Mayo SS do you see what you are missing. Zombies putting spiders in your head. Woman not in control of their bodies. What are you waiting for.
Paperheartxx, Kapunua, entropy, MJ, J, BC, anybody I missed.
So, I am terrified of blimps. It's worse if I am driving and I see one. I almost had to pull over on the highway once. I can't even explain the feeling. I don't know exactly why I am afraid. I just get horrified when I see it. My husband is totally cool about it. He warns me if he sees it before I do. We were at Yankee Stadium and it flew over. He just looked at it, and grabbed my hand and said "Hey, let's get up and go buy some popcorn." We waited untill it flew over and went back in. When we went to see MyChem, he said "I read that there's blimps involved in the stage show." I was okay because they weren't life sized.
A loose pit bull trotted up to me on the street last week, and I had NO fear at all, but the blimp makes me cry. I can't figure it out.
BC,
About that baseball bat? L says she has a two-by-four, but she's saving that for Gerard. Hee hee!
J.
Ah man, that would suck to get burned by an iron. And on your chest no less.
That would be scary.
ok, i hop away for a moment (a moment, i swear -- got the comment, bc!) and when i come back, not only do i discover there are more of us who are afraid of our body's evil designs upon our physical well-being, but
spider-toting zombies, and aliens, and all types of clowns *shudder* swamp clowns and future in-law clowns (not!)and, and...
omg. i have been laughing so hard. :D
Hi Star.
clowns FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT!!!
Yet i'm strangely attracted to men in make-up.
Hey entropy, how are ya?
Burns terrify me... I'm realizing a lot terrifies me!
I hate clowns. I swear I want to punch one lol
I'm good and you,Star?
MJ,
Can you just see SS and Mayo sitting together, reading this, saying, "Wow, they're all so cool. Which one do YOU want?" Come and get us, guys, plenty to go around!
Jennicula,
I haven't read anything that funny for days. Clowns with knives at the dinner table...oh shit!
J.
Jennicula said...
Kapunua, I had a boyfriend who's parents were clowns. The first time I met his parents, they were dressed up, at the dinner table, holding knives. Needless to say, I was not cool about the situation. :)
I would have voided my bowels. True story.
"We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing, 'You're safe child, you are safe.'" I distinctly remember playing that one song for over an hour. I did it so I could try and block out the pain and the hurt. I'll never forget that day because that was the first day I felt absolutely worthless. My own father didn't even appreciate who I was, and all I was was a puddle of salty tears on a cold linoleum floor.
Mustard, that's what music is for. Especially that song. I swear to MFing god that angels told TBS to write that song, yeah? ^_^ ANd you can take it from all of us here, you are anything but worhtless. Look at how much you know about music, and how eloquent you are and how you can always draw all of us out, into your conversation. Not everyone can do that. :D
Star said...
Paperheartxx, Kapunua, entropy, MJ, J, BC, anybody I missed.
So, I am terrified of blimps.
That's fantastic. Guess you couldn't watch a Pink Floyd concert. ^_^ Between your blimps and my fire trucks, zombies, spiders, and random loss of control, we are one neurotic bunch. ^_^
Hi star. Did I say hi to BC and entropy. Hello anon who is afraid of clowns.
Toujours, my mother asked me what the boyfriend's parents were like. I told her they were clowns. She thought I was being rude! She was NOT impressed with the fact I was dating a carny.
But, ooh, the things he knew...
Thank you mustard. Your words have brought a tear to my eye again.
I'm know that I was truly blessed to have a father like that. We all like to think that it was better to have known and lost a great man than to still have a shitty one.
Don't feel too sorry for me people cos my childhood was the best and I have so many great memories.
I'm so sorry to hear about you and your father mustard. Why do people have to be that way?
I truly wish you find the closeness my family have been lucky enough to enjoy.
Anima, I look forward to reading it.
My psychology professor told us that clowns are a pretty normal fear, because you don't really know who they are, and they act bizarrely.
I'm afraid of mimes. I think it's because I fear people not talking to me, or not having someone to talk to.
anonymous said...
clowns FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT!!!
Yet i'm strangely attracted to men in make-up.
November 9, 2007 3:14 AM
Weird how those things work out, huh?
I'm not bothered by clowns but 'IT' Freaked me the eff out.
jennicula, you just made me go bwah-ha-ha! with the first part, and "oh, mm, really...?" with the second part.
good blend. ;)
*RUNS TOWARDS TOUJOURS*
*DOES A HIGH JUMP OVER TOP, LANDS ON OPPOSITE SIDE*
*HUG*
*HUG*
*HUG*
*HUG*
*HUG*
HAH, got you TJ! :P
Hey Martha.
Anonymous,
There's the irony for ya.
Eyeliner's one thing, but greasepaint? Eeew.
J.
Anonymous said...
clowns FREAK ME THE FUCK OUT!!!
Yet i'm strangely attracted to men in make-up.
OH HAI GERRALD!! No, I'm just playing with you. ^_~
Bleeding Chaos said...
I hate clowns. I swear I want to punch one lol
In the vagina? In the big, oil-painted, clown vagina?
I'm good, Entropy.
Kapunua, that's freaky.
BECAUSE I'm afraid of Pink Floyd. I can't listen to them if it's dark out.
The Doors too, actually.
Did I seriously just say "clown vagina?"
Original Punks said...
MJ,
Can you just see SS and Mayo sitting together, reading this, saying, "Wow, they're all so cool. Which one do YOU want?" Come and get us, guys, plenty to go around!
I had a feeling you would like it.
Kapunua:
From day one when you started talking about TBS and how much the "My Blue Heaven" lyrics meant to you, I wanted so badly to share much they meant to me. I just didn't feel that it was the appropriate time. But, I guess that time surfaced tonight.
And, you're right. I'm pretty sure Angels coerced Adam into writing that. That, or they held him at gunpoint. Amazing song through and through.
MissT:
I didn't mean to bring you to tears again. You just reminded me of something I needed to get off my chest that I hadn't told anyone, not even my father. I don't know why people have to be that way. If I knew, I'd be writing a book right now. I guess it's just something we must deal with. Doesn't mean it has to be easy though.
Thank you both for your words. They truly mean a lot to me.
Hi there martha.
I used to be terrified of those people who dress up in big suits like Mickey Mouse, then expect you to sit on their lap.
Even as a small kid I thought 'You're not fuckin Mickey Mouse! Impostor!" and I'd run away screaming.
I feel bad now, they must've felt awful.
I can either punch the clown, or vunch them Kapunua. whichever you like :D
*wah-auuuggghh!!*
damn, paperheartxx, what, are you xena, or something? that was totally unexpected!
(but i wasn't skeered. nope.)
*still wide-eyed from shock*
^.^
Clown Vagina.
That ranks among FuckFest2007, My Ass and the newly formed AssFest2007.
Funny shit.
Mustard, what you wrote was so powerful.
*pats hand*
I'm here for you. If you want, we can trade fucked-up childhood stories. Through the tears, we may find laughter.
Clown vagina.
I couldn't stop laughing!
Now we have ninjas running around giving hugs. Hug fu.
Haha.
Yes, I'd like to think that Xena is my 10th cousin 3 times remove. I think we are very distant relatives in some way! Did I not tell you that Superman is my father? ;)
and oh yes, Clown vagina.
Oh yes, Martha you reminded me, my mom is a ninja! ;)
I am still searching, but I just came back to check in and holy fuck, K..."clown vagina" made me laugh so fucking hard. It makes me want to vunch a clown!
Goes back to searching....
ASSFEST2007!
I hope i can get my ass into gear for that one, because slap my ass and call me frank if that ain't an ass-tastic idea!.... ass.
L just told me she once punched Woodsy the Owl. Who knew? SEE?! SEE WHY I FEAR HER? Defenseless woodland creatures stand NO chance with her! And she has two bunnies as pets, for cryin' out loud!
Anyway, turns out she was about 4, and it was a guy in a suit that scared her. So she punched him in the "hoots".
Mother of Pearl.
Just when you think you know somebody...
J.
and wonder woman is your mama Ph. Please tell me someone in here knows what Project A-ko is.
:O CLOWN VAGINA?!
*falls off chair and dies of laughter*
Do your part to make the world a better place! Go vunch a clown... TODAY!
Haha Wonderwoman who is part ninja Martha!! =]
I thought that no one would ever find out!!
Darn, my cover is blown.
Did I not tell you that Superman is my father? ;)
is that why you didn't touch that homemade krptonite jam i brought over with the biscuits the other day? *heehee*
Hug fu.
martha, i'm giving you formal notice that i'm adopting that into my permanent vocabulary, right now.
"hug fu".
i love that!
Mayo and SS
Clown vagina. Clown vagina. Clown vagina. Clown vagina. Clown vagina.
Clown Vunching... a sport to be played at ASSFEST?
Any time mustard.
I also hate:
clowns,
ventrilaquists dummies,
garden gnomes,
marilyn manson,
Anything small or with too much make up on. Did that make sense.
martha,
are you telling them they have those, or asking if they want those?
J.
Jennicula:
Thanks for the kind words and that pat on the head. It's nice to know there's someone out there who' s been there as well.
And maybe, just maybe.
Rahaha, poor Woodsy!
Please tell me someone in here knows what Project A-ko is.
*raises hand*
but honestly, that is one of the scariest animes i ever watched. it just never stopped. endless.
OK, tomorrow everybody should try and use "clown vagina" in a sentence. You must do it with a serious face. I'll let you know how my boss reacts.
Yes, Miss T. That makes total sense.
I just realized that leprechauns make me very uneasy.
Miss T, I've hated ventrilaquists dummies since I've seen the movie Dead Silent! It was one creepy movie!!!
Big, oil-painted clown vagina.
I saw this show once, back when I had cable, it was called "Real Sex." Anyway, they were showing a clown orgy. Umm, red noses, pie, and big shoes. That's all I'm gonna say about that.
I want to vunch a clown vagina so hard
toujours said...
Did I not tell you that Superman is my father? ;)
is that why you didn't touch that homemade krptonite jam i brought over with the biscuits the other day? *heehee*
Toujours, you are one smart cookie! I never thought anyone would figure it out!!
Original Punks said...
martha,
are you telling them they have those, or asking if they want those?
J.
November 9, 2007 3:33 AM
I'm just trying to get them to laught and join the party. I'm sure their is a joke some where in there about someone wanting Clown vagina.
Jennicula said...
OK, tomorrow everybody should try and use "clown vagina" in a sentence. You must do it with a serious face. I'll let you know how my boss reacts.
The madness is that I might actually have occasion to use that phrase a work. Two of our clients are clowns. Waldo and Tulip Wald. They are actually really godawful, racist people, (that's a link to a rant in my lj,) so I have no qualms talking smack about them here.
They are the greasiest, most unsavory people you could ever hope not to meet. "Waldo" came in one day and blew his nose on the front desk. "Tulip" always has a stench like rotting food. They have this bird that they bring in to board once in a while. "Waldo" always leaves instructions on how to let the bird rub itself off on its perch and then tell it what a good boy it is when it's finished. (True story.) He also asked my boss one time if there were any diseases that the bird could catch from him, because--his words--he still sucks his thumb and then lets the bird chew on his finger.
And people wonder why fear of clowns is so prevalent.
Two events for AssFest2007:
Clown vagina vunching
and
Owl hoots punching
It rhymes!
J.
I will succeed in using the phrase "clown vagina" with a serious face tomorrow!
=]
OK, tomorrow everybody should try and use "clown vagina" in a sentence. You must do it with a serious face. I'll let you know how my boss reacts.
Oh, you have to wear a hidden camera and post it on Youtube for all to see. Or else I won't believe you did it ;)
Kapunua, He blew his nose on the front counter? Eww!
Clown vunching is deserved there!
the bird rub itself off on its perch
My bird does that ha!
Yo Jen, you still have another phrase to use first.
Kapu I am at a loss of word on that one. Just vunch em.
I'll take my sisters digital camera MIB, and post it for you guys, if she lets me!
Mustard, I wish I could spring a "clown vagina" attack and video tape it. I'm sure the look on her face will be priceless.
Original Punks said...
Two events for AssFest2007:
Clown vagina vunching
and
Owl hoots punching
It rhymes!
- Oh yes! I am 100% behind anything that rhymes... possibly not a good thing!
I have a party tomorrow and I shall say clown vagina with a straight face!
OK, tomorrow everybody should try and use "clown vagina" in a sentence. You must do it with a serious face.
i'll need to know the dewey decimal number for that if i have any hope of succeeding.
Well now we have to all just say it randomly and completely without preamble. Just go up to your boss or co-worker and be like, "Hey. Clown vagina." And then just wait.
Kapunua, those two fools sound disgusting. Want me to clown vunch them for you? ^_^
Toujours, can you say you got a phone call asking for a book on clown vaginas?
There's no school tomorrow, so I'm not working. I am perplexed as to where I can do it.
MissT: I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow. I have to mention:
1. why don't you just fuck off you twatty little gobshite. And,
2. clown vaginas
Do you think if I string it all together it will be a good insult?
Yes, Chaos, do! Or, actually... We could set up a booth, right? We could just put the two of them in a booth, like at a fair... or maybe even at their house, and charge people ten cents each to punch them both square in the clown vagina. We could put a sign: "VUNCH A CLOWN, TEN CENTS!!"
Man, we'd haul it in.
That sounds good Jen.
Star, you could just phone a random person.
Starbucks, hi yes I would like a tall Clown vagina.
Kapunua, if we did that, we could become rich entreprenuers ^_^
slap my ass and call me frank if that ain't an ass-tastic idea!.... ass.
You ladies fucking kill me!
P.S. Still multi-tasking.
K, I responded.
Miss T, I really hope I can find that for you. I went to see "Body Worlds" a while back and they had this amazing statement on the wall quoted from a philosopher that really put so much into perspective. I even called my husband tonight to see if he remembered, but alas, I am still searching. I WILL FIND IT! Damn, I am building this up way to much, but it really touched my heart. I hope I can find it. I will try my best.
*walks up to tree*
"Hey. Clown Vagina.*
Oh, the hilarity that would ensue in my own mind.
Me. Talking to a tree.
Star, if someone calls you tomorrow, you could say
"Excuse me, did you just say clown vagina?"
Miss T, I have to go to Whole Foods to get Chamomile Tea tomorrow. I may try to spring it on someone in there.
Do you think if I string it all together it will be a good insult?
That actually is a good insult. Sometimes at work we have insult contests. My friend actually called me a "----eating rodeo clown." I called her "jizz-guzzling swamp-crotch" and a "guttersnipe pelvis-climber." She called me a "lech-hearted hose-beast," but only because I told her to. SO tomorrow I'm going to use "twatty little clown vagina!" See how she likes it then!
Star,
Go to Wal-Mart and ask them where they keep the clown vaginas. I dare you.
J.
So many good ideas, but I must away!
So nice to be here.
LOVE TO YOU ALL, xx
*drive thru at wendy's*
I'd like a number one with a side of a clown vagina.
MJ:
Your Starbucks scenario owns all.
MarthaJones said...
Starbucks, hi yes I would like a tall Clown vagina.
Well, you should spice that up some. It could be like, "One low fat mocha mambo frappaccino clown vagina, please. Large."
Sounds good star.
anima, don't stress yourself, I can wait.
GOodnight, Cupcake!
Sounds good star.
anima, don't stress yourself, I can wait.
Good night cupcakes, nice meeting you.
As we are combining a hate with a body part can I suggest we combine
Marilyn manson and minge.
Tomorrow, you should all use the term marilyn minge.
goodnight cupcake! glad to have you with us. of course, by now you may be sorry...:)
J.
Have a good Clown vagina cupcake and talk to you tomorrow.
Oh, even better.
If any of you work at a department or grocery store and have access to the P.A.:
Dude-ettes. Go for the fucking goal.
That'd be hil-a-rious.
Clown: Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
Vunched Clown: Crying on the outside AND crying on the inside.
Missed your post cupcake.
Goodnight and pleasant dreams.
Marilyn Minge! I love it!
Love to you ladies, you're all so gorgeous!
xoxo
J,
Wal Mart scares me because they are evil, use child labor, and lock their employees in at night, so it's gonna have to be Target.
Anonymous said...
Clown: Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
Vunched Clown: Crying on the outside AND crying on the inside.
El to the Oh to the El. ^_^ Bastard clowns deserve it.
Star said...
Toujours, can you say you got a phone call asking for a book on clown vaginas?
star, didn't want you to think i was ignoring you, it's just that when i read that, the image of my supervisor's face if i went up to her, all serious and perplexed, holding a memo note, made me giggle so hard, i scared my computer and it dropped my connection.
but now i want to go to starbucks.
goodnight, cupcake!
Man, would I love to be at that gocery store.
Man, I wish I knew how the hell to say "vunch" in Latin or something.
Grocery*
Star,
Yes, I believe Target will be an acceptable substitute. They have nearly everything as well.
Or perhaps Home Depot or Lowe's? "Pardon me, are the clown vaginas on sale today?"
J.
Meh. Make it up Kapunua. We'll never know the difference. ;)
Star, I also think Wal-mart sucks. It's Target all the way baby.
Oh man, I boycott Walmart, too! So you could go into Walmart and say, "Because of your lack of ethics, I wouldn't even buy clown vaginas fro you."
K,
The Latin for "vunch" would be "vunchimus". Maybe. Or "vunchicum". Hmm, that sounds more like it. Yes. "Vunchicum".
Actually, it sounds like a weird sexual act more than anything.
J.
Sorry Kapu I looked for something that might be close but nothing but i can tell you how to say cunt in Latin if you want.
"I wouldn't even buy clown vaginas fro you."
I know that wasn't intentional, but it was worth pointing out the mistake. ;)
Kapunua said...
Man, I wish I knew how the hell to say "vunch" in Latin or something.
*ss immediately surfs over to his latin website*
Yup, Wal Mart is the evil empire. The kids in Amnesty International at my school fill me in on everything evil and sketchy that I have to avoid.
Don't get me started on Disney.
Toujours!
Aces, baby!
Maybe it'll show up on his blog page tomorrow...
J.
Haha, very funny. Hoho, it is to laugh. Quisque comoedus est. ^_~ Yeah yeah I saw "fro" too. I know it got you going. ^_^
Vaigina is vagina in Latin, I think
I tried to look up vagina punch on the internet, um, it's a scary world out there. That's all I have to say about that.
oops, Vagina*
Toujours:
I bet you're right. The dude's probably written his own Latin dictionary which he consults often. "Vunch" is probably listed. It'd have to be, right?
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