Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Duplicitous I am not, a three dollar whore…well, maybe.

I am sad, no I am devastated.

Never once has this been about favoritism, cliques, or status. I just couldn’t fucking hear with all the noise and needed a little space.

I needed a place where it could be less abstract for me, and for you. I guess perhaps I am a cheap, greedy man.

I can’t stress enough the fact that it was your intense camaraderie that led me to believe that you all had some sort of life line with each other. You finish each others sentences like an old married couple, it's beautiful to see.

I made a mistake by asking one of you to deliver my message, and I am sorry.

In defense of the visitors, they only did as I requested, by keeping the space until I needed it.

I was not attempting to conceal anything. Mayonaise is for you to share, for everyone. It became more your home than mine, and that is amazing.

Kapunua, I would like to speak directly to your recent post, and in doing so speak to everyone. First, thank you. My gratitude may be expected but it carries an enourmous amount of worth. Second, I know that you are not naïve. For you to consider that I would exclude you, or anyone else is to say that you never heard me. And I know that each of you hear me. You are all my insight and my mirror. It is you that I look toward to pass judgment on me, and you have. I have failed you.

I am sorry.

P.S. Please stay, all of you, stay…not for me, but for each other.

1,121 comments:

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elena said...

sdock10 said...
Kapunua is the wolf and I am the faithful dog...SWEEEEEEEEET!

Oh come on I wanna be something.

Anonymous said...

Mya said...

Yeah, I'm begging for you, and Mayo, and SS to all come out from behind your curtains and show who you really are.


No.

More to come.

Pixie said...

"Old Gerard came back. he made a point of telling us to look out for people who had fallen. He pointed people out to the security who needed help."

I heard from a lot of people, that at our show the security wasn´t helping anyone in the first row etc and a lot of fans got hurt... still gerard didn´t said anything like that. only nonsense... but great to hear, that you got the old gerard miss t :)

Original Punk J said...

Sister Midnite,

I hear you, honey. All the way from Deadmonton.

Be strong! Rocker Chicks Rule!

Shame In Me,

Please, drop it. You were part of BC's group, and t it's still a sore point that you guys didn't tell us, EVEN WHEN ASKED DIRECTLY. I don't care if I got to go or not, my identity doesn't depend on the approval of others. The issue here is that most of us WERE excluded, whether intentionally or through lack of good information.

Our trust was thrown away like Frank was thrown to the staage by Gerard.

Unlike Frank, though, I'm coming up swinging.

J

Anonymous said...

Oh, interesting...

farawaysoclose said...

ok well at least you've got the balls to own up that you fucked up mayo.
i admire that in people.
well i was staying anyway cos quite frankly i love popping in here (today aside) and although i've got a busy life sometimes its draining and you guys always make me smile (well the last 24 hrs aside, although kapunua made me laugh with her bat belt comment!!)
so anyway hope everyones ok.
glad the gig was top miss T.
i haven't read all the comments.
my thoughts are with frankie too. bless him and his family.

MissTottenham said...

At the end of Prison, he said "I won't go down by meself, but I'll go down with my friends, adn you are my friends".

It was a great night people. It really was old Gerard. He was theatrical without the anooying posing seen at PR. The only thing he did say that was risque was at the end of Prison, he said "Remeber, if you put it in your mouth, you are gay".


It was so squashed at the front. I felt compelled to help the little kids around me and swapped position with the a couple of times. I've never seen so many kids have to get dragged out at a show before. It was none stop.

At one point my arms were so squashed in, my bra popped open and I realised I was swining loose. My sis who was behind me did the honour of fastening it again.

sister midnite said...

Elena said:
sdock10 said...
Kapunua is the wolf and I am the faithful dog...SWEEEEEEEEET!

Oh come on I wanna be something.


Elena, you can join me in being the resident bitch, if you like. ;)

elena said...

PPU of course I believe Mayo is Gee and I believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa. I'm fucking Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up.

Shame in me said...

Nobody asked me about it though and i wasnt part of BC's group at all i found it of my own accord.
I'll leave it but i am truly sorry. I do understand to some extent why you are hurt. i will leave it at that. i would like for you to do the same
sorry again

Anonymous said...

I never had a group and I never will.

elena said...

Sister I totally accept. I like to be a bitch.

Anonymous said...

No one ever became a part of any group. I stumbled upon the blog by accident and that is that.

Original Punk J said...

SIM,

That works for me.

J

Shame in me said...

im glad.
Thankyou

Anonymous said...

"Elena said...
PPU of course I believe Mayo is Gee and I believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa. I'm fucking Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up."

Thank you soooooo very much.

ergoproxy said...

morning
misst i'm glad you enjoyed the show, it's sounds good

Anonymous said...

Hi there Ergo. How are you?

farawaysoclose said...

thanks mis T for your update of the gig. i'm so glad it was good and gerard was on form.

has MIB left???if you have please come back MIB!!

MissTottenham said...

Yes shame in me, they left abrubtly. They didn't say, this is the last song.

Pixie, I'm sorry you got new gerard. I'm so glad I got old Gerard.








When he introduced teenagers Gerard said "We are gonna sing a song that you will have heard us play ath the MTV awards when we were fucking awsome". I think that was irony, people laughed anyway, I know I did.

In cancer he didn't sing the words "never marry" but he did sing the rest of the line.

During FLW wich was the last song, Ray really threw down his guitar, a guy came on with another but he wouldn't take it. He grabbed his mike and totally rocked. He really gave Gerard a run for his money. He sang his little socks off.

That was it. When the lights went up, a really nice girl next to me said "here, your phone fell out of your pocket halfway though and I've been holding it all way through the show to give it you back". How nice was that.

All in all, a fantastic evening. I did have difficulty breathing though cos it was so squashed. Once I got out, I was still having difficulty taking deep breaths and my voice went really high pitched. My friends took the piss all the way home ha!

I hope that was OK.

Anonymous said...

It sounded like you had a great time Miss T.

Pixie said...

good morning ergo :)

wow miss t sounds as if you had a great time.. I´m still pissed that I got the new one, he was so different last week.... ^^ damn...

Loli Lovette said...

PPU of course I believe Mayo is Gee and I believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa. I'm fucking Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up.

I'm Tinkerbell.

Shame in me said...

that was an amzing review miss t haha i cant remember so much of it now i have slept it all feels like a dream!!! did you get any pics or videos? i have havent put them on computer yet though.

ergoproxy said...

oh wow Ray sang!
I wish I could've seen that.
he has a nice voice, even though he said he doesn't think so.

elena said...

Hello Tinkerbell. Good of you to fly by.

farawaysoclose said...

sounds great thanks so much miss T.
so funny about your bra coming undone. can't remember if you've got big tits or not but still funny!!!

sdock10 said...

Oooh ooh, Do I get to wear a pretty dog collar? I want a nice one.

oooh and a choke chain

Anonymous said...

Are you a masochist, Sdock?

Anonymous said...

Are you a masochist, Sdock?

Loli Lovette said...

No problem! Where's captain Hook?

elena said...

My collar has spikes. Fuck yeah, black leather with spikes. Well gotta go all. Will check back in late tonight. Keep the faith...

sdock10 said...

Just a lost, little girl who needs to be reminded who her master is sometimes.
;)

Loli Lovette said...

Albert Fish was a masochist.

He died with needles in his pelvis.


Just saying.

Pixie said...

bye elena :)

sdock10 said...

ooohhhhhhhh

Or even better...a shock collar!

and a choke chain

FUCK YEAH!

Anonymous said...

Oh well…this really helps Mayo.
Maybe not all of us will forgive you so soon, but your honesty is appreciated. Thank you.

Anyway, hi FAMILY!! How are you guys?

Ps: and I really mean the word family..

Pixie said...

hi bella :) how is italy? cold? warm? rain? ;)

Loli Lovette said...

Woo! Call Dominatrix Express!!

MissTottenham said...

Hi Ergo, how are you?

Faraway, I've got little boobies so it wasn't too bad. My friend took the piss and said I was so excited at seeing Gerard that my bra literally exploded ha!

Shame in me, no pics. I was so squashed I couldn't even reach in my pocket for my phone.

Thanks to everyone who enjoyed the review.

I had a great time. It's a bummer that I come back to this. Please people, let's all be friends. I don't want to lose anybody from this family. As far as I'm concerned, Mayo fucked up big time. I don't feel anybody else has let me down. I hate all the secrecy. Let's start again people.

I hope no one feels like I've let anyone down. I hope I haven't.

Anonymous said...

Oh, snap, I accidentally put this in "discuss" at first. Hee. ("Oh snap" is coming back. Count on it._

MissT said Gerard said:

"Remeber, if you put it in your mouth, you are gay".

Does that go for chicks, too? ;D

MissT, thank you so much for taking the time to type that all up. ^_^ I saw them once, too, as you know, and it was one of the "zOMGzz I AM SOOOO IN LOVE!!1111 SHARPIE!!!!!!" concerts. Although I think that couples who wear matching outfits for the most part need to take that "final leap" together at once, at least you didn't have to look at a bunch of hickies and scrawlings.

Gerard has sounded good lately, from the few clips that I heard.

And I hope to everything int he world that whatever's going on with Frank will turn out okay. If anyone deserves all the happiness in the world, it's that dude.

Elena said...

PPU of course I believe Mayo is Gee and I believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa. I'm fucking Peter Pan.


The Robin Williams version, I hope. ;D

FASC said:
(well the last 24 hrs aside, although kapunua made me laugh with her bat belt comment!!)

I'm glad I made you laugh. ^_^ But I was also perfectly serious.

Oh, one more thing:
Anonymous said...

i thought his xxx blog was hot


Then you're probably about fourteen.

sdock10 said...

Here, Here MissT

That's the best thing anyone has said all day!

Let's start again!

Loli Lovette said...

Haha! Miss T! That's a-okay. The first time I saw My Chem, two years ago, my bra fell off. I actually had breasts then. So I had to hold them. Except at the barricade, because I was so squished. Until somebunny's dad put his hands on them....:|

ergoproxy said...

Ergoproxy, Tourjours, Shame in Me, Chaos and a handful of others, you let that go on. You each wore a couple of faces, huh? And that sucks, because I really, really liked you. At least two of you, and I think you both know who you are.
this is from Kapunua in the last blog.

ok can I just say, seeing as maybe you are not intending to ask.
I fount the miracle whip on my own, nobody told me or invited me. If you look at the dates the blogs in October were over 4 days. I thought it was a game, that he would hint and see who would find it. he said not to tell so I didn't.
Then there was nothing new so i just used to check in, mainly to be greeted by umpteen comments deleted by BC (as well as some others) If you look I didn't ever sit there and have conversations with anyone about anyone. I said I preferred the real mayonnaise.
Then there was the first post a few days ago in Nov in which, if you read what I said I asked him why he was doing it and what he hoped to achieve, as well as trying a bit to say i may understand him a bit. Then the last blog appeared yesterday and I was concerned we were being manipulated and told BC to stop what she was doing as it didn't feel right.
And by the way the one person who asked me about it was told by me to try to find it the same way I did, and she did.
I would like someone to point out to me exactly what I have done apart from not tell something I was asked not to tell about?

Anonymous said...

Hi there pixie!How are you my dear?
Right now it's raining and I LOVE IT!!

toujours said...

hello everyone, hello mayo.

miss t, i loved reading about your concert. it sounds like it was absolutely fantastic. ^.^

Pixie said...

"Hi there pixie!How are you my dear?
Right now it's raining and I LOVE IT!!"

you love rain? huh I hate it... I´m fine and you? here it´s freezing and we have snow... ;)

ergoproxy said...

Hi missT I'm well thanks.
Busy day again volunteering at the school

Anonymous said...

This goddamn thing ate my post three times. >_>

Mayonaise:

It was twenty dollar whore, actually, but still.

Never once has this been about favoritism, cliques, or status. I just couldn’t fucking hear with all the noise and needed a little space.

Oddly enough, Mayo, back when you began that exclusive blog of yours, it was much quieter in here. Don't you think?

I can’t stress enough the fact that it was your intense camaraderie that led me to believe that you all had some sort of life line with each other. You finish each others sentences like an old married couple, it's beautiful to see.

Is that why you hoped it would "stay under the radar?"

In defense of the visitors, they only did as I requested, by keeping the space until I needed it.

I understand that. But you need to understand that a lot of those same people came on here acting as if exclusion was a bad thing. That person you asked to deliver the message, for instance.

Kapunua, I would like to speak directly to your recent post...

I'm not sure which one you mean; I posted two pretty much on top of each other. I meant what I said in both. Even if you hadn't deleted that blog; even if I had found it the first time, I wouldn't have messed around there. I would have kept your secret, but I would not have dissed the folks here. I like you, Mayo--at least much of the time I do. But not to the exclusion of, and certainly not more than any of the honest and lovely people on here.

If you're talking about my most recent comment on your last entry, the one about SS and that question? Well, I gather that he is busy. I think it might actually be important, although like I said, I could be wrong.

You know where to get me.

(Come to that, you knew where to get all of us if you wanted to.)

First, thank you. My gratitude may be expected but it carries an enourmous amount of worth.

I didn't expect it at all, to be perfectly honest with you. I never know what to expect because this game is crazy and you're not too right in the head, either. Well hell, none of us are. You know that. Which is precisely why you should get that you can't just play with people like that, you know what I'm saying?

Look, I can almost understand your position. No matter who you are, you really can't give away too much. Seriously, I see that. But you also can't just expect us to read your mind. We hear you, sure. I just think most of us are never sure if you hear us. Which leaves us wondering if we are playing a game, or if we are a game. I think you've gotten that point by now though, so no use in ramming it in.

Second, I know that you are not naïve. For you to consider that I would exclude you, or anyone else is to say that you never heard me.

How can we, though? You set up away from us--again, perfectly within your rights--and say you're glad you're "under the radar", but then you're surprised when no one follows you there? Again: I wouldn't have, even if I had found it. But Mayo, if you want us to hear you, you could try, you know, saying things to us. The games are fun; I love the poetry. I love the jokes and the riddles, you know I love the metaphors and, what was it? Crazy moon talk? That's all great. But you can't use that kind of stuff all the time, especially when things get intense, and expect crystal clear results. Sometimes when things go balls-up you need to come out and be like, "Hey guys, here I am" if you really want something meaningful. Which, do you? I guess maybe sometimes you do.

Kinda like this. This is sort of nice.

You are all my insight and my mirror. It is you that I look toward to pass judgment on me, and you have.

Sweetheart, that's so much to put on us. Why do you need any of us to be your moral compass? All I ever do here pretty much is rant about how much I hate hypocrisy, and how much I hate how evilly people treat each other, and how much I hate it when that kind of stuff is encouraged. I don't know you, I only know what it looks like; that's all any of us have. You know you, or if you don't, then you should. And when I'm not on here talking about kicking Jimmy Urine in the teeth and my favorite band flipping the bird to people who loved them for a reason other than "OMGz they are LIEK SOOO HOT!!!11" I'm talking about clown vaginas, Monty Python and quoting Kung Pow. Goddamn, are you Spike or Angel or something?

I appreciate that you have never once told me to put a sock in it (oh, but isn't that the suggestion that sparked this entire blog? ^_~) when you could have, and I've said that so many times. But I never once harbored the idea that this entire place was like a moral compass for you. I seriously had no idea.

I'm glad that you came and said all of this, honestly. It's good of you. But I hope that you can understand what I'm trying to say, too.

MissTottenham said...

See you later Elena.

Hi TJ, or should I call you













Roger ha!






Ergo, I hear ya!

Some of us are stupid even with clues ha!

Anonymous said...

I want to start again Miss T. I seriously do. I think others do too. No amount of apologies will ever make up for what I did and I fully accept the blame and the consequences.


I sincerely apologize everyone. If I have to continue apologizing to set this right, then dammit, I will! I never did any of this to intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. You are all my internet family and I wish to continue being so, regardless of all that has happened. Some of you anons may want to tease me, but frankly, I do not give a flying fuck what you think anymore. Let us break this divide and conquering bullshit.


For now, I will try to be more honest and I do mean honest. No more secrets. I promise. Please accept my apologies and forgiveness. I did not mean any harm. And that is all I have to say about this.

Anonymous said...

Hi there toujours. How are you?

toujours said...

you can call me whatever you want, miss t...

as long as you call me. ;D

hey there bc. i'm ok. how's your flu doing?

MissTottenham said...

I forgot to say hello to the lovely bellatrix.

Hi bella!

Yes BC and everybody, let's all hold hands and sing a happy song and hug at the end.

Anonymous said...

Yeah pixie, I do love it.It helps me to think, I guess...

BC, you know I forgive you.

Anonymous said...

My flu is still the same squeak squeak, only now I have to keep blowing my nose every minute or so.

ergoproxy said...

thanks missT

Anonymous said...

I appreciate that Bella. Thank you. You too Miss T, my english chum ^_^ *hugs*

What kind of happy song do you suggest Miss T?

Pixie said...

"Yes BC and everybody, let's all hold hands and sing a happy song and hug at the end."

well that sounds great, let´s sing!!! :) and I can need a hug :)

Anonymous said...

Hi there MissT!
So, you had a great time at the show, didn't you?

I'm so happy for you!!

Pixie said...

"My flu is still the same squeak squeak, only now I have to keep blowing my nose every minute or so."

ah well that´s good bc so it doesn´t stick in your head. that was my problem my whole head hurted like hell a whole week and I used sooo many nosespray to get rid of it ^^

toujours said...

you should drink hot tea, bc. that might help.

Anonymous said...

This may sound somewhat odd, but personally, I like having to endure obstacles. It helps people to become strong.

ergoproxy said...

"always look on the bright side of life..
do do dee do de do de do (whistle)
always look on the bright side of life...."

farawaysoclose said...

kapunua said...
FASC said:
(well the last 24 hrs aside, although kapunua made me laugh with her bat belt comment!!)

I'm glad I made you laugh. ^_^ But I was also perfectly serious.

oh sorry i didn't realise. oops!

this fuckin cracked me up though kapunua:

"Remember, if you put it in your mouth, you are gay".

Does that go for chicks, too? ;D

thanks for that!

i've gotta leave i'm afraid.
catch you all tomorrow though.
bye x

and mayo it'll take a while. its like when you realise your bloke has been having a secret shag behind your back. you decide to forgive cos hey we all make mistakes but you certainly aren't going to let him go there in a long while!

Anonymous said...

I need to listen to a song and maybe have some hugs. If only paperheart was here. Squeak squeak, all day I was drinking hot cocoa. Tea is not an option right now unfortunately. When I got the flu pixie, I started having this pressure in the back of my head and then on my head. It is better now though, but sometimes the headaches can be quite the killer.

MissTottenham said...

I've always kinda liked the teletubbies theme but that's just me.

excuse me people, I'm off for a wee. This time not in the bushes. Don't anyone else leave while I'm gone.

toujours said...

ergo, you have now embedded monty python in my head. should i thank you?

bc, you do whatever works for you to get better and beat that flu.

sister midnite said...

Say whatever the fuck you want, folks.
I'm sure there will still be people around to hear it.

Although I won't be one of them.

Maybe it's easy for you, to just sweep all this under the carpet with the leftover sheep droppings. If it is, more power to you.

It's not so easy for me. Trust is never something that I give away easily, and yet I gave it away here. To you guys. Well, yesterday's lesson taught me that I should have known better than to believe in people. Last night pretty well fucking broke everything here. I have nothing left to give. You can't expect that to change overnight.

For those of you who actually appeared to give a shit, thank you.

Take care, everyone.

- Sis Midnite/Nikki

Pixie said...

"ergo, you have now embedded monty python in my head. should i thank you?"

well same here *laugh*

ergoproxy said...

TJ I don't think I'd have to try very hard!

Anonymous said...

Thanks squeak squeak. I must say the hot cocoa was quite delicious. I took some nyquil earlier and that stuff really knocks you out. The first time I ever drank that stuff, I feel asleep in five minutes 0_0

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear that Sister Midnite, but I can understand you. Please, take care too.

Anonymous said...

bc, why are you willing to let this mayo person manipulate you?

MissTottenham said...

Sis m, please don't leave.

I don't want this family to split up.

I love you all (not you mayo).

toujours said...

TJ I don't think I'd have to try very hard!

i'm afraid you're exactly right, ergo. *sigh* warped by the boys in the flying circus.

when i'm sick, bc, i just drink hot spicy soup, like kim chee ramen or chicken with tabasco and garlic. knocks out the cold every time, without knocking me out. :)

Anonymous said...

Being anon 'cause I don't want the shit from this to fly in my direction but oh god....

http://eldoradio.lu/events/eventpics/photo.php?category_id=2091&parent_id=1318&nr=7#c

K.... no offense but the resembalance is EERIE.

ergoproxy said...

sisM exactly what trust did I break?

I wasn't in collusion with anyone.
I spent my time here with people I enjoyed the company of.

If you were specifically asked not to tell anyone you would?
Who's trust is worth breaking then.(not that I see I have)
Is someones more important than someone elses?
I knew about it, so what? I didn't go there and talk little secrets or plans with anyone.
If you were in a group and someone went off by themselves would you immediately call the whole group over or would you give them a chance to explain their meaning?
Sorry for actually not breaking one trust in favour of another.
if you feel that way then there is nothing more to say. Unless you'd like to specifically tell me what I have done and what you would have expected me to do.
If you don't then I'll just assume you don't care and nothing said will make any difference.

Anonymous said...

I don't either Miss T.
anonymous, I am not sure what to believe. For now I will try to remain neutral.

Anonymous said...

Squeak squeak, unfortunately, I cannot tolerate anything spicy :(

Anonymous said...

ALso I think that's why he listens to her. Same exact face...... but with a brain....

toujours said...

aw, that's too bad, bc. i love food that bites back. ^.^

Anonymous said...

Sure, two eyes, two lips, two arms etc., dark hair. Quit with that, anon. You're making it awkward and it weirds me out a little when you do that.

Off to train for a while, guys.

MissTottenham said...

See you later kapunua.

Original Punk J said...

Excuse me. BC, TJ, Ergo, all you people "in the know", why are you over here on the loser blog? I thought you had one all to yourselves that you were using.

Kindly vacate this space. You have your own. That's been made perfectly clear.

J

Anonymous said...

Sorry, K. :( But it is true. IMO.

Anonymous said...

Well, I can tolerate a little bit of spicy food, but not anything extreme ^_^

Anonymous said...

BC, why are squeaking? Are we playing cat and mouse again?

Anonymous said...

*you

toujours said...

j., what you say hurts me. this is my place, too.

ergoproxy said...

J have you read anything I've said?

Shame in me said...

so are you saying we arent welcome here anymore?
is that the opinion of everyone?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous, that is my nickname for toujours. Take it easy. OP, the reason I am not going to stay away is that I am not going to resort to the same behavior being displayed here. Everyone is still welcomed to talk to us, regardless of how they feel.

MissTottenham said...

J,

I like being a loser.

I'm gonna be mad a Mayo though for telling those people to keep it quiet. He put those people in an akward position.

I guess I feel this way because I had my own leaving moment a few days ago. Now I just want the family back.

Mayo (I needed some quiet diddums) did a childish thing. He should have known better after the events of recent nights.

People, can't we be friends.

Mayo, you shouldn't have done this. The people you wanted in your "oh so special place" are getting grief now. But I blame you.

Believe me, a better apology and reason is needed than the lame one at the top of the page.

Anonymous said...

Squeak. Squeak. Don't be dishonest BC.

toujours said...

anon @ 10:15 -- it's true. miss t calls me "roger", fimble (and everyone else after her) calls me "tj", and bc calls me "squeak squeak".

don't read more into it than is there.

MissTottenham said...

The start of that comment meant, I like being one of the losers on the loser blog.

Anonymous said...

Okay. But can we still play cat and mouse?

Bellatrix said...

Guys, I have to go.
See you tomorrow!
Take care everyone.
*HUGS*

PS:I agree with MissT. Please, let's try to have the family back...

Anonymous said...

" Bleeding Chaos said...

Anonymous, that is my nickname for toujours."

Because you were all sneaking around like rats and you knew it?

Pixie said...

bye bella take care in rainy italy ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, all this is too much like real life awful relationships whether it be family, love or work.

The attention seeking/bitchiness and sulking is boring.

Too much like trying to get the attention of the most popular boy in school.

It really is time to leave.

Anonymous said...

Actually no. I gave her that nickname when we were talking on my blog the other day.

toujours said...

bye bellatrix -- see you tomorrow. ^.^

MissTottenham said...

See you later Bella.

MissTottenham said...

Anonymous, don't you leave too.

Loli Lovette said...

Golly, Anons...Be nice, hm?

Anonymous said...

Take care Bella.

ergoproxy said...

I have to go for a few hours.

I've said what happened from my point of view.
If you want to ask anything specific do so.

Here or I have an email, I'll answer you, as I already have J.

MissTottenham said...

See you later Ergo.

Anonymous said...

Take care as well Ergo

Pixie said...

so guys I´ll go to bed now, I can only agree, I also want it to be like it was before all of that started.. a new start sounds like a good idea... sorry, I was a lil bit quiet this evening.
take care all of you and see you tomorrow *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Take care and sweet dreams pixie *hugs*

toujours said...

see you later, ergo.

good night pixie. sweet dreams. ^.^

Original Punk J said...

Ergo, I did read your email to me, and your long post above.

TJ, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, but, you know, I thought you were my friend.

SIM, I'm not saying that you're not welcome. I just assumed that with your own special space, you all would prefer to be there. It's not really fair for you guys to have 2 places and us not any.

Since the "obvious" clues that were left were NOT OBVIOUS in the least.

BC, I gotta know: when Sis Midnite asked you directly about the other blog, why didn't you tell her then? Or was that part of the game with Mayo? See who's smart enough to figure out his obscure hints, that's who was worthy to be part of the new space?

Miss T, I like being a loser too. It's usually where I live, in Loserville.

My point is that, if you folk that figured out the clues were so pleased to have done so, why break favor with Mayo and stay here? He doesn't seem to like us anymore. He says he wanted us all to be there, but he told you, BC, not to tell anyone. Why, if all of us mean as much to you as you say we do, didn't you say, "Hey Mayo, that's not fair to the others! They care about you just like I do. They should be allowed to know." Instead, you said, "Ok, boss, I'll keep it to myself." Then you just popped on back over to the other blog and told us anyway.

Like I asked about the Brussels interview:

Which side of his ass was he talking out of? You should know; you're always right down there kissing it.

And if you all think I'm being insulting, well then, you're wrong. I could be a whole lot worse.

But that's what happens when people fuck me and my TRUE friends over.

J

Anonymous said...

Apparently Mayo has a lot of time on his hands to do two blogs, interact with his Whip Me crew, catch up on what is happening in blog land, and somehow manage to tour Europe, be with his wife, deal with press interviews, sleep, and eat.

Interesting.

I would have believed it if there was just this one spot. But apparently Mayo is as three-dollar whore. He is also some creepy ass wierdo sitting in front of his computer all day.

Oh and apparently Gerard has also visited other blogs around here. Wow! How does one person have so much time?

Mayo you have some explaining to do. You know who you are pretending to be - and it is disgusting.

Oh well, everyone will continue to gather here, but as everyone knows you need this place. Oh because you are Gerard, that's right and not some creepy dude just luring women over the Internet.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what there is to stay for anymore.
I have been around from the beginning and posted only occasionally. It has been fun and interesting to hear differing views re the band.
Inevitably when you have a group of people there are those who want to be at the forefront, have personal issues etc and these eventully have a negative impact.
I think it is also fair to say that our opinion of MCR has altered over the last few months (and not in a good way)so I think it is time prepare to leave them behind too (it will be sad but not as sad as parents dying or a cousin drowning).

Take good care.

Anonymous said...

It's one thing to know... another to participate

Anonymous said...

When Sister M asked me about the blog, that was a long while back. I actually did wanted to tell her, but then one of his posts overthere requested that alot of people could not know about it, so that's why I kept things quiet. I wanted to tell her, but what could I do? He said on his other post that if anyone else finds out, he would know. Some of you thought he told me personally to keep things quiet, but that is entirely false. His post said that.

Second of all, he wanted me to lead you guys overthere, but I supposed no one would believe me now, but check the anonymous comment left yesterday in the previous blog at 4:28 P.M. if it is still there.

I am truly sorry that you feel this way, but nothing I will say will make things better again. If you want to continue directing your anger at me, that is fine, but even with the alternate universe, I have never spoken so low about anyone here.

anima said...

I just wanted to say my goodbyes to everyone. I have had enough.

I will come visit you guys over at your blogs but I will not post here anymore.

Mayo you are a disappointment. I cannot even fake this shit anymore. If you are Gerard Way [I laugh even typing that] then go be with your wife and not here pussyfooting around with strangers.

Eitherway, whoever you are - you make me sick. Famous and cheating his wife out of time with him or some lame-ass pretending to be someone famous just to have some friends to talk to. You are playing a really sick game and I am tired of it.

toujours said...

TJ, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, but, you know, I thought you were my friend.

i am your friend. i understand that you're hurt and angry, and i understand why. but it doesn't change the fact that i found friends here, and you -- all of you -- are still friends to me. we're none of us in a good place today, but i have hopes that it will eventually come out all right again.

i came here for mayo, and i got all of you. i don't let go easily. say what you want to me, any of you. you've already called me names, undermined my confidence in the truth of my words, and taken and turned my posts against me. what more can you do? if you need to rail against me, then do so.

i have always spoken from my heart here. i have never ever been anything but my whole self here -- here, when i couldn't be that anywhere else.

you are all my friends.

Anonymous said...

Mayo,

Good on you for fronting up, but you'll understand if it takes awhile for the harmony to be restored for some, if at all.

Nobody likes to feel like they've been played - especially not those good people who invested trust in others and shared their intimacies, love, sorrow, life and laughter.

I'm more of an observer than a participant, but after months of reading and watching friendships develop amongst the community, I felt the pain of those hurt as the house of cards came tumbling down. So I roared. I would do it again too, so no more mistakes, okay? Don't be fooled by the shy possum, there's actually an angry lion with a heart here.

It's good to know that you feel their pain. Learn from it because, as you know, being an empath doesn't stop you from making bad calls. And that was a big one.

Personally, I don't give a toss about me not knowing the whole alternate universe thing. I came here seeking answers for the ragdoll treatment of Frank and other crap that went down at PR.
I found an arrogant-look-at me cryptic bugger, that had been in recent days, morphing into someone more settled and aware. I stayed for the people and their wit, awareness and wisdom. (And became far too familiar with using expletives).

By the way, sorry for puking around your house last night but I don't think anyone noticed with all the s**t lying and flying around. Send me the bill, because I don't think I'll be able to find it amongst the debris.

Miss T,

Great review. RIP bushes.
Good to hear the voice was nearly back to scratch, if a little duckish at times. Lately it's been sounding strained and ordinary. All I can say is thank goodness for handy sisters.

Well, that's probably the longest I'll ever write here. Sdock10 I now know how you feel after you write - like I have not even ribs left.

Hearing (you) him.

MissTottenham said...

Goodnight Pixie, sweet dreams.

Anonymous, if you have to leave then you take care too.

MissTottenham said...

Thanks pp, thank god for sisters indeed.

Anima, I'm so sorry you feel that way. Can't you stay for the people wha are still friends?

Anonymous said...

I wish you didn't have to leave Anima. We will miss you. PP, I am not sure what to say here. This may be awkward, but can I say thank you?

sister midnite said...

BC, I asked you in an email JUST YESTERDAY. I asked a long time ago, too, but that's not what I was talking about.

Ergo, I asked you the other day to tell me what was going on with the 'three'. You told me you had no idea, but that I could email you with a specific question.

If I had known about it?

I would have kept the secret, but I wouldn't have settled MY ASS down to stay.

SOME of us would feel like we were, I don't know, maybe NOT BEING HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE WE CALLED FRIENDS?

Or maybe because Mayo might have been Gerard Way, it didn't matter what your so-called 'friends' thought??

Whatever. I don't expect answers, really. It's done. And so is the way this blog used to be.

Divide & Conquer -- from without, and from within.

"I don't
Care
How much
You invest yourself in me
We're not working out"


See ya, wouldn't want to be ya.

anima said...

P.S.

"I paint this shit all the colors of reality. And it is a fucking masterpiece thanks to you."

He doesn't care. Never did - never will.

sdock10 said...

pp,

That was awesome. I'm glad you spilled all that blood just now. Sometimes it's pretty to watch.

Come join us over at discussmayo.blogspot.com

We're just hanging...nothing cryptic, nothing top secret.

We would love to have you there.

anima said...

I will visit each of you. No worries. I just will not take part in being here. Again, I do not know who owns this house and it is really leaving me uneasy. I was okay not knowing before, but after everything that has unfolded - I just can't deal with it.

Love you!
Anima / Anon30

Anonymous said...

Sdock10,

Thanks, sweetie, I might pop over later. I'm off to pound the pavement for a while.

Catch you later.

sdock10 said...

Byeeee, PP

capture this void said...

You've brought this onto yourself. You could have prevented this from ever happening. Divide and conquer.

I'm sick to my stomach. To think of what a select few of you have done over the past few weeks makes me feel heartbroken. I feel as if i've lost a piece of me. You will never be able to regain that trust again. I didn't know one could be so foolish.

Mayo, you're devasted? Are you fucking kidding me? You planned this. There is no denying that. It is so clear.

"Please don't tell."
They didn't. They blindly followed, like a herd of sheep. Two-faced is the definition. To be back stabbed by a stranger is one thing. To realize that some of your closest friends have been doing the same thing is a new low.

Mayo, If you think you are the innocent victim here, fuck off. You haven't the slightest idea how upset and angered we are right now.

To you:

You forgive us? Please. You are the ones who should be begging and pleading for your forgiveness. I can barely find it in myself to speak to you. I'm truly disgusted.

You know this place won't ever be the same when a fucking unicorn starts to make a lot of more sense than some. Kudos to you.

Sister Midnite, Kapunua, the OP's, and Mustard. I'm with you on this one. You'll be receiving an email from my shortly.

Original Punk J said...

Second of all, he wanted me to lead you guys overthere, but I supposed no one would believe me now, but check the anonymous comment left yesterday in the previous blog at 4:28 P.M. if it is still there.


Anonymous said...
BC,

perhaps you should lead them there now. But please...remember discretion and use concealed routes. I trust you.

November 13, 2007 4:28 PM

Fucked that one up, royal, didn't you, BC.

This is L. by the way. I just got back and have been informed off and on what's been going on. I will be back later with another post. I will tell you now, I am pissed beyond words. Anybody with a weak heart and stomach might as well sign off now.

L.

MissTottenham said...

CTV, I hope you can still feel that some of us are friends.

dei gratia said...

Ok!
I worked it out......I e-mailed as many of those that were around at the time as I could.

YOU are the ones who have been saying we should be careful of giving information to anon's and newbies! There were alot around at the time. I left a comment trying to direct people to e-mail me and told them what I knew.

When I got the link I was asked not to give it out......I tried to direct people to how to get it!

Jesus!........I was trying to do right by everyone!

I was as much in the dark and confused as everyone else. I expected you all to be over when you also received the link or to be already there.
It freaked me out that it was no longer being given out! I hated that people were being left out....I hate all of this!

WTF was I supposed to do.......anything would have been wrong!

BTW I have NOT deleted anything!

Jennicula said...

You know what? I DID ask about it in an email and I was NOT given the info in an email. It was more like,

"Yeah, I know about it but you can't go there"

That's a big FUCK YOU in my book.

That's what I have a problem with.

MissTottenham said...

I got your email DG. But i wasn't here so I didn't get it till this afternoon.

dei gratia said...

Not by me!

All I did was work it out and try and tell people how to get the link. I am in a different time zone to most of you!

Jennicula said...

DG, it wasn't you. It was somebody else. Doesn't matter.

capture this void said...

Miss T, you are always my wifey. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You'll always have place in my heart, along with some others.

It's hard to forgive and forget when it comes to others.

MissTottenham said...

CTV, wifey number two. I love you. Please don't leave too.

My email is on my profile. Any time OK.

dei gratia said...

I'm sorry everyone feels the way they do, I really am!
I understand why.....I feel that way myself!

It seems everyone who got there and posted is now hated.

Goodbye!

Anonymous said...

So, who do we think Mayo is now?

Anonymous said...

Mayo,
What a mess we have here, it makes me sad to see these people fall apart. At least you have apologized. I bet you wish you hadn't picked you know who to direct the others there. Perhaps you should have picked someone a little more stable and less in awe of you. Hopefully in time things will calm down and even though they won't be totally back to normal maybe friendships can be repaired. I for one am not going anywhere just yet.

MissTottenham said...

Don't leave DG, you did the best with what you were given.

sdock10 said...

He's still the same person we started talking to when this whole shit kicked off.....He's Mayonaise.




Just a blogger.

JocelynHolly said...

Hey guys.

Want to know why PH was upset?

Because it looked like the conquering and dividing was working. Fingers were being pointed, people were blaming each other. This isn't who we are. Yeah, it's upsetting that people went along with Mayo's plan to keep it from everyone else, but all they did was keep a promise. We can't let anything happen. I am not going to let anyone tear us apart.

Mayo, we welcomed you all along. We offered you to join in the laughs, but you never accepted. You NEVER did anything to try and feel a part of the group. Maybe that's why we were so close. We all communicated. We all listened to eachother. We understood one another. You can't blame us for talking. You were always allowed to jump in.

Anonymous said...

I think Mayo is one of the regulars, myself. Just not sure which one.

MissTottenham said...

Well said PH,

EVERYONE, if you have to blame someone blame mayo.

The only thing I can think of is to tell people is to blame mayo and not each other. A few are listening. I hope people can calm down and see that even if they stop trusting some people, the one's they do trust are worth sticking round for.

sdock10 said...

ph,

*hugz* to you a billion of them

Anonymous said...

So why is this my fault that I messed all of this up? I was not the one who created the Miracle Whip blog to be kept only in secret.

JocelynHolly said...

Miss T, Sdock, Bleeding Chaos..

*HUG*

BC, I just emailed you back.

sdock10 said...

mya,

Like I said, just a blogger.

He posts. I comment. I comment again and again. He might respond. He might now. He posts again.

So is life in the HOUSE OF MAYO.

elena said...

Hey Paper. Sad to see this is becoming a ghost town. Watch out for tumbleweeds.

MissTottenham said...

BC, I'm blaming mayo.

It was a childish thing to do. I hope he feels shame. He has upset some truly wonderful people.

I hope he is hurting right now.

sdock10 said...

BC,

Just let it go already.

Stop talking about it and let's move on.

People need time and space so just give it to them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks paperheart. Sister M, I had no idea what you were talking about just now. I just signed in to my account a minute ago and saw your email. I am going to respond if you don't mind.

JocelynHolly said...

Elena.. *HUG*
It is sad. Half the people have left.

This predicament was really unexpected.

Anonymous said...

I am trying to sd10
Even if I am not talking about it, someone else is.

sdock10 said...

ph,

I sent you a billion hugs and I only got 1 back, now that just does not seem fair.

sdock10 said...

Well let them vent...that's what they want to do. Give them that much and let it go.

I know I talk daily about holding on to shit and holding on tightly with both hands and all but it is time to let this shit GO!!

see how easy that was...bye bye

MissTottenham said...

Yeah paperheart, we are needing more of your magic hugs here.

Anonymous said...

BC, it was the way you handled the whole situation. You didn't want anyone else to find it, because you felt special that you had mayo all to yourself over there and you could pretend that you were important to him. If everyone found out, you be just another blue name in the crowd again. If I had been in your shoes and someone asked me if there was a second blog, someone I called a friend, I would have told them. You on the other hand, lied, every single time. Just like you lied about everything else. What other little secrets are you keeping from your 'friends' and 'family'?

redrum said...

Why does any one person need to be blamed? It seems like the screw-up was a joint effort, whether intentionally or otherwise.

Forgive and forget. Forgive but don't forget. Or don't forgive, and don't let anyone else forget it either?

toujours said...

hi there paperheartxx, hug?

hi sdock. how are you?

JocelynHolly said...

ph,

I sent you a billion hugs and I only got 1 back, now that just does not seem fair.


Sorry Sdock! I just had to run and refill my hug bucket. A trillion and one hugs for you! *HUG*

And a trillion and one hugs for Miss Tottenham. *HUG*

A trillion and one hugs for everyone! =]

*HUG*

JocelynHolly said...

Forgive and forget. Forgive but don't forget. Or don't forgive, and don't let anyone else forget it either?

Hello Redrum *HUG*
I can forgive, which I have. But, I can never ever forget.


Hey toujours *HUG*

Anonymous said...

I believe Mayo is a fake, sorry.
And I've recognized a good many "anonymous" comments as actually being from some of the residents in here, so I figure if they can do that, they can be Mayo as well.

BTW, I do remember when the Miracle Whip blog was more than hinted at and I actually went there but it looked so... adolescent, for lack of a better word - that I was just not interested. Then I promptly forgot about it.

Going back today and reading the posts made there (NOT the comments), I still don't see anything much. Like this place, just someone jerking off.

sdock10 said...

BC,

The only way to get past this now is for you to show people and earn their trust back. That is if you really believe you did something wrong. If you don't believe you did anything wrong, then stop defending yourself and rehashing it over and over. Tell them all to fuck off.

But if you actually think that you fucked some people over, then you have to allow them time to get over this. You have to allow them the opportunity to chew your ass out. You have to understand why they feel you lied or you are being insincere.

Because all people are hearing right now is blah blah blah blah blah...just you puking words.

Actions speak louder...


*just saying*

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you too paperheart, and everyone else.

toujours said...

aw thanks paperheartxx. ^.^

*hugs* back!

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Sdock10 you should read the email I sent you.
goes back to lurking

JocelynHolly said...

Mya, these recent events have squashed any belief in my body that Mayonaise was Gerard Way.

sdock10 said...

Thank you ph, my most precious, sweetest, purdiest, smartest little blogger in BlogBelieve. You don't know how much I needed that.

TJ,

I'm good. Just hanging out as usual. How are you?

Anonymous said...

Hi Everybody!

*HUGS* to Paperheart and all of you.
How's tricks?

Anonymous said...

sd10, yes, I do believe that I have done wrong. Some of these anons believe that I wanted Mayo for myself, but that is utterly absurd.
Trust is a fragile thing, and if there are people who feel angry at me, I will not blame them for that.
As you said, actions speak louder than words, and I believe in redemption. Somehow, someway, I will attempt to make things right again.

redrum said...

Daagh, the dreaded e-hug! It hurts and stings.

JocelynHolly said...

Martha. I know you are lurking, but I really need hugs today. I have a feeling we all need hugs.. *HUG*

sdock10 said...

ok, MJ

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Bleeding Chaos said...
Kapunua, yep I posted a comment at 10:37 but that was after the miracle whip blog was
erased. I was a little too excited I suppose. Oops.

October 17, 2007 2:32 AM

Kapu... you DID know. You SAID you tried the link. You said, and I quote, you saw it and you tried it.

You GOT the post that BC made at 1037 You were the one who got it. YOU. So you DID know.

What the fuck?

Anonymous said...

sd10, my ass is already being chewed over as we speak ^_^

JocelynHolly said...

Star, *HUG*

Redrum, I'll be giving lots of hugs tonight, get used to it! ;)

Anonymous said...

redrum, you don't like hugs? Everyone loves hugs :)

toujours said...

pretty much the same, sdock. hanging on. *tired grin*

Anonymous said...

BC: "Somehow, someway, I will attempt to make things right again."

Does it involve taking a long walk off a short plank, you fucking retard?

toujours said...

hi there star. ^.^

hi martha. *waves to the figure in the shadows*

Anonymous said...

Hi star

JocelynHolly said...

ANONYMOUS @ 12:08;
SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE?!

No one needs this. So just please, shut it. I am getting sick of everyone trying to make Bleeding Chaos feel bad. She only did what she thought was best, all she did was respect Mayo's wishes.

sdock10 said...

MJ,

Catch the email I just sent you.

We've got a lot of work to do here people to get things back like they were, but we also have to respect some need space right now. And some need to vent and scream and yell and get mad, that's fine.

Then the healing can start.

Original Punk J said...

dei gratia said...
Yeah, she's right guys!

People are feeling weird over there!

BC:
I've made up some crap story about a bad date I need advice on.....when they e-mail I've told them to check your profile.
No-ones really taking the bait!
November 13, 2007 10:37 PM

Bleeding Chaos said...
I think Ergo has made a good point. I suppose that I will not give out the link anymore, not until we know for certain if the other blog will be deleted.
No one is taking the bait? Ha!
DG, I hope your tonsils get better.
November 13, 2007 10:41 PM

You haven't even BEGUN to hear from me, BC.

L.

Original Punk J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Depicted in self destruction said...

*just found post*

*sigh*
this depresses me
i wish mayo felt as attached to us as we do to each other

Anonymous said...

No, I said that I wanted to make sure that no one was trying to play another game at divide and conquering. That was why I stopped sending the link.

JocelynHolly said...

Bitter Revenge, I agree. It's no one's fault but his own. We tried talking and connecting to him, he just never got the message.
*hug*

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
BC: "Somehow, someway, I will attempt to make things right again."

Does it involve taking a long walk off a short plank, you fucking retard?

November 15, 2007 12:08 AM


xD nice one, anon

BC, may I make a suggestion? I think it would be best if you take that break you've been promising to take for ages. Seriously. Sometimes when people fight, the best way to diffuse it is for both parties to get away from each other and calm down and collect their thoughts. You are not getting anywhere right now, rehashing the same story over and over. The tensions are too high right now for anyone to hear anything more than "blah blah blah lie blah blah lie." In fact your presence right now is only adding to the problem. Go away for a couple of days, let things calm down and they you can try to make ammends. I'm not sure if you can, but who knows.

Anonymous said...

Because Ergo brought up a point that sending the links was another way of divide and conquering so I stopped sending them. I just told Sister M about that. And whatever I said about the blog being deleted, I only meant that as a possibility, not actual fact. I have mentioned it in a previous blog.

Anonymous said...

I think I will take that suggestion anonymous. Nothing I say will change the outcome here anyways so..

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Hello sd10, ph, ops J&L, tj, bc and br.

MissTottenham said...

Hi star, hi MJ. How are you both?




People, DG is feeling really bad. She tried her best to let people know. She really hopes you don't hate her.

If you want to know what she has to say, her blog tells the story.

She tried people.

Original Punk J said...

Bleeding Chaos said...
No, I said that I wanted to make sure that no one was trying to play another game at divide and conquering. That was why I stopped sending the link.

November 15, 2007 12:15 AM

Bleeding Chaos said...
I think Ergo has made a good point. I suppose that I will not give out the link anymore, not until we know for certain if the other blog will be deleted.
No one is taking the bait? Ha!
DG, I hope your tonsils get better.
November 13, 2007 10:41 PM

Now, the last time they checked my eyes, they were 20/20, and I sure as HELL don't see anything about the divide and conquer in that post from the "private" blog. What I do see is someone quite happy that "no one was taking the bait."

As I said, I will be back later.
Enjoy.

L.

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