Sunday, October 21, 2007
I need to borrow this I don't have much time.
10:57pm
Tell me about a memorable dinner you have had? No...on second thought, I don't want to hear about the entire meal...just describe the appetizer. I will imagine the rest. It is more fun that way.
p.s. no insights today just retort a fucking headache and my only defense to make amends with future earnest offerings.
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«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 1489 Newer› Newest»1946 - as in the movie, 1946?
What year was the movie 1946 made?
That's a-okay, mia!
My mummy intercepted my Black Flag and Misfits when I was in 7th grade. I had to hide it from her...
Woops, no. It's A Wonderful Life, 1946. Isn't it on the Top Something quotes from the American Film Institute?
Ding-Ding-Ding! And the winner is...............
Lolita!
It's a Wonderful Life - one of my all-time favorites! Right along with The Godfather movies. Strange combo, but...
Secrets eh?
Well, after all the current discussion, my little secret is I would love to be able to have casual "flings" with guys any time I wanted.
(I did it once before, with my ex.)
Small problem is that I'm in a wonderfully serious relationship, and there would have to be some parallel timewarp in order for me to do it now.
That or he'd just have to have never existed. Or something.
MAYO!
Sweetie, are you hungry or horny?
'Cause we've got a story that will satisfy both your cravings.
Now, keep in mind that I (J.) initially taught L. how to give a blowjob. But SHE taught ME the fun you can have with a chocolate-iced, cream-filled Krispy Kreme doughnut.
Are you comfortable? Please adjust yourself, here we go:
First, she takes the chocolate off the top of the doughnut with her fingers and coats the hard, um, you know. Then she licks all the chocolate off. No sucking, only licking. Next, she breaks open the doughnut and licks the creamy filling into her mouth. With the cream still in her mouth, she then takes the full length into her mouth and sucks.
Somehow, you always wind up with more creamy filling than you started with.
Oh, and throw the rest of the doughnut away. You won't need that.
Hope this helps!
Ladies, please feel free to try this at home. It's not patented. Yet.
Kisses!
L. and J.
I'm not good with mobster flicks. I don't know why! My favorite films are really mixed. Um...Adrian Lyne's Lolita, Cannibal Holocaust, Corpse Bride, Hellraiser and the most AMAZING ones by Takashi Miike like Imprint and Audition. Kinda eclectic, I guess.
Somehow, you always wind up with more creamy filling than you started with.
Now that's a knee-slapper!
Well...
I've grown sleepy...
I will finish off this last wodka and cranvery and say...
G'nite!
Oh, Lolita!
You have wonderful taste!
I am a closet Jeremy Irons fan, myself!
Good Night.
Nighty night Mia!
goodnight Mia! Hope you find better days.
J. and L.
I am a closet Jeremy Irons fan, myself!
OH GOSH. I just saw that. Everyone makes fun of me for it. I don't care. I would....grrr....He's amazing.
Better days are all of our tomorrows - of which I have... for now...
Peace be with you.
p.s. Next time, I may share with you what I can do with a lamb chop.
Jeremy Irons in The Man in the Iron Mask? Yes, I could put a hurtin' on that man in a heart-beat!
Good nite MIA. Lolita haze I loved Audition it was a great movie.
Mia said...
Jeremy Irons in The Man in the Iron Mask? Yes, I could put a hurtin' on that man in a heart-beat!
Haha! You're killing me! It is so true...
It was, wasn't it? Better than all that torture-porn with no story like Eli Roth puts out....Sorry. I have an imaginary vendetta against him.
Yes, I would so be all over that!
BTW, for all you youngsters who think of me as soooooooooo oooooooooollllllllllllddddddddddd...
Kim Cattrall and I are the same age.
And, yes, there is a resemblance
;)
Go or it I can't stand torture porn either. I want to be scared not disgusted
And with that, I miss bid you a fond good night...
Don't let the bed-bugs bite...Mayo!
Me too, Mia, but I think people would see something wrong me being "on it" :) :) :)
I don't think you're old! You're younger than "Ironhead" (my sister calls him that!) anyway! So you're still young in my books.
Hey! Kim Cattrall's a looker!
miss? muss? must? shit...
drive me drunk, i'm home!
Mayonaise,
I like the fact that you mentioned one of your posts with your 10:57pm
amends??? what the....Is that an apology for causing confusion and some fights on here because of your tribute story?
Well,it's not all your fault. mercury (planet of communications) is in retrograde til november 1st.
This is a kind of interesting request mayonaise,
I dont know,I have a hard time thinking that you would find this interesting,unless you...
Ok,I will play along because I do like to know about everyone's experiences,so it seems a fair exchange.
My dinner idea;it was the appetizer,entree and dessert all in one.No imagination needed.
One night, a few close friends and I dressed up for dinner.
We sat on a red/white table cloth on the hard wood floor drinking wine and eating spaghetti with meatballs,using no silverware.
Lets just say...it was one of the funniest and somewhat provocative experiences,to watch other people eat this way.
We still talk about it.
ps
and for all the anons aka no-name fuck toads that have been coming here and attacking other people's words and truth for them.
(no,nothing needs to be said to you,that hasn't already be said)
just like to say, no-name fuck toads.
regards to all and goodnight
`sc
Nice. Night, sc!
Secret:
I'm probably the only guy here. I lurk. I am 27 and still a virgin. Probably always will be..... I'm too ashamed of my body (I think you know which parts) to show any body b/c I know I won't "measure up".
That is my secret.
regards to all and to all a good night
you could skip the app and go straight for the desert with mary-jane brownies... 'Cept I got sick as hell from 'em... Barffed all over the place... Real pretty too - all that dark brown and green...
And to Anon:
It's not the size, but the rock of the ship, darlin' - trust me on this one!
Night Sc, we have a male nice to know you should post more often and let us know that you are male when you do. I think we could use a bit of manliness in here sometimes.
Oh my gosh, mister Anon! Don't lurk! It's a-okay here, and you've got nothing to be ashamed of, honey! I feel privileged to have you let us in.
It's not the size, but the rock of the ship, darlin' - trust me on this one!
I agree WHOLLY.
Last Anon:
It doesn't matter what the measure is, as long as you know what to do with it.
It truly is in how you use it.
Don't give up, there's someone out there for you. Be proud of who you are. (cue the line)
It's all about the love!
J. and L.
Just because someone is big, it doesn't mean they now how to get the job done. I speak from experience.
My secret. Thanks K, good idea.
Everyone thinks I'm really smart. The truth is.... I couldn't read until second grade. I know it's stupid but I'm ashamed of it.
Secret:
I'm probably the only guy here. I lurk. I am 27 and still a virgin. Probably always will be..... I'm too ashamed of my body (I think you know which parts) to show any body b/c I know I won't "measure up".
That is my secret.
My ex was huge, painfully so.
And he STILL didn't know what to do with it.
Start practicing with fingers and lips and the rest will follow, my good sir.
Goodnight Mia. Thank you for answering me. They just happened upon me too. They brought me back. I really think they accomplished their goal of covering all of their influences.
Sweet dreams my dear.
Okay, my secrets. But I'm not going to Anon them, because I don't care.
I *secretly* despise my dad. He's never been around, he cheated on mom repeatedly and I knew it when I was 7 years old.
I'm attracted to men waaaaaay older than me. I don't get attracted to boys. Seriously.
I have a mad oral fixation. Haven't cured it.
Anon, it's okay! You're literate now,you learned to read, and that's what matters.
Anon @11:45 as if you can't tell I have problems wit spelling and read. I read below grade level until I was in 3rd grade. A lot of famous people have that problem.
Goodnight everyone.
Well I'm off to bed now you guys have a good night.
Goodnight Mayo, whoever the fuck you are.
Night night.
Anybody here?
I think there's lurkers. And me. Hello Sister Midnite!
Hi Lolita. Sometimes is sucks living out west... everybody else is in bed. What's new with you?
Who's computer did you borrow?
What does the time mean?
I don't and cannot know,
but the appetizer?
Is that supposed to mean something?
Hmm...
Vegan Food? Yummy?
YES. [:
Try the Masala Burgers from Trader Joes.
You can cook them up in a frying pan with a dab of olive oil. Add a couple blocks of tofu, and it is DELISH!
Headache? Are we hung over?
-s00
Nothing really, SM. I'm on the East Coast. It's 1:23 AM here. Chronic insomniac, at your service :). How are you?
Hmm...
Vegan Food? Yummy?
YES. [:
Oh yay! A fellow vegan?
OMG you're vegan too?
Got to go, goodnight!
YES!!! :) :) :)
Chronic late-nighter, who never gets to bed before 1:00 AM. And I have to be up at 6:30 to get ready for work. Good thing we have weekends, or I'd never sleep at all. -_-
I tried the vegan thing, but it didn't work out too well. I swear I sprout fangs when I'm craving protein. And I did NOT mean that in the way it sounded!
I'm a late-nighter, too, Sis Midnite. And I get up at 7 for work. But I'm off on Mondays though. ^_^ Well, off from work, I still go to the kwon to train on Monday nights.
Those of you who are telling your secrets, thank you. If you want, do a bold code, like this: "Secret:" if you have one. You just have to use regular html, like [b] [/b] except [ should be < etc.
Say, does anyone know who else was on the Leathermouth bill last night? I've read a few reviews (all of them positive) and seen some pictures. I'm amazed at how much Frank looks like Gerard recently. It weirded me out. Frank looks like an incredibly compelling frontman, dang I really wish I could see them. I heard a rumor that one song was about President Bush, too. I'd probably eat that one all up. ^_^
Oh! And I am not 100% vegan because I still eat ice cream and cheese, but I get those from free-range, cruelty free sources. My grocery store is Wild By Nature. ^_^ I don't have any animal products or animal tested products in my house or my car, either. I'm kinda fanatical about not hurting animals, and not paying money to companies that are cruel to them. It's a quirk of mine!
Oh, and Sis Midnite, thanks for hitting up my LJ! I answered you back. ^_^ I did not get your email yet, though.
hey kapunua, i went all secret agent over to lj today to find out what the line-up was. here's the list i compiled:
leathermouth (of course!), the color fred, saves the day, new amsterdams, anathallo, single file, color revolt, and one or two other smaller bands, no one could remember the names of.
pretty cool, huh? :)
Haha! That's a-okay. I was vegetarian from 6th grade until this year, and I went vegan before my birthday, so that's 6 years vegetarian. I like veganism. It's very difficult, but it's been good.
Oh yeah, all-nighters are all I've been having lately. It's physically painful sometimes. Oh well, being a little delusional is fun sometimes. :) I would hate to have to work at 6:30!
Hi Kapunua! *waves*
((Email re-sent.))
I haven't seen anything about Leathermouth, other than hearing that the show was awesome. OMG, I think so, too! Except IMHO, Frank is better-looking than Gerard. *hides from angered hordes*
And now, for my secret.
Not a happy one, I'm afraid. So if you're not in the mood for it, you may want to skip it.
Secret #1: I spent over three years of my life with an alcoholic, cheating, abusive ex, whom I was almost insane enough to marry. He kept telling me that I was a stupid, ugly, worthless whore until I believed it. When I finally came to my senses and left him, I played ring-around-the-bed for two years. As long as the guy had no objection to wearing a condom, a first name was optional. If he was pretty, I was into it. Lesson learned: One's self-worth is not below one's waistband.
Secret #2: Since learning Secret #1's lesson fifteen years ago, I've kept myself emotionally unavailable from all the guys I've dated. Now, I'm no longer sure I can ever trust anyone to get that close to me again.
I don't need 15,000,000 anons to tell me I have issues with intimacy. :\
Mayo,
avete una faccia bella, ma il vostro cuore sta girandosi verso lapietra.
Potete conservarli prima che richiediate un transplant?
Non dovete dimostrare qualche cosa più. Lasciste esso vada.
^ I used to think he had a beautiful face, too. When I thought the kindness I saw in it was sincere, and the passion behind the message he fought so hard for was honest.
Bah, depressing.
Sister Midnite, wow, thank you for sharing that secret, as harsh as it is. Also, I just sent you an email. ^_^
I never wanna grow up :(.
You're amazing for getting out of that, SM.
Excite is really slow for receiving new emails, I've noticed. Must think about setting up a new account sometime soon. ^_~
G-Way does have a nice face. Unfortunately, I can only see a lost little boy behind his eyes now. Someone mentioned earlier that he looks innocent, but all I saw was the tiredness.
Yes, my secret was harsh. I just felt like sharing, for some reason. Probably because so many people seem so down this weekend. O.o
secret
I'm pretty sure when I was little my dad's friend did some stuff to me. I don't remember what it was or what happened, the whole thing is a blur so I'm never sure. I would have been around 7. I never, ever, ever, EVER have told a single soul about my suspicions.
Anon, I felt like that too at one point. Something really inappropriate happened, and I was sure something happened after that, but I think I blocked it out. I'm behind you there.
Whether this post is about actual food or metaphoric talk of sex, I sometimes I REALLY enjoy an appetizer and savor dessert like it is my last ever!!! But you know sometimes all there is time and room for is the main course! (if you get my drift)
p.
i'm that same anon from before. I forgot the part that hurts the worst. I'm 28 and am terrified to death of men. I've never kissed one that wasn't in my family. Never been on a single date in my life. Never want to be alone with men. I don't go out. I'm so afraid of them and I always wonder if that's why, if that guy ruined my life.
Anon, I want to reach through the computer and hug you. It's okay.
Anon with the secret:
I want to hug you, too. Take your time, and wait until you meet someone you feel safe around. There's no timeline for love -- when and if you feel ready, you'll get there.
secret
I have only ever slept with one man, and though I love him I can feel myself growing distant, like a no longer want the life I have.
I don't know what will happen and it both scares and upsets me.
Secrets? Should we be doing this here? If someone posts a secret, as heart wrenching as it is to read, others should not feel the need to provide a response or advice. Both are likely to get burned quickly.
this is my secret,
I want to share, as it may help,
I was molested by a friend when I was 20. It could have been date rape, I was very lucky.
It took me a long time to trust again, as I was very man shy to begin with, and then I felt sick when anyone touched me.
I took the risk though, and found not all men are like that. Don't judge everyone by that standard, there are some who really don't deserve it.
but, I though still cannot hear "Sign you name across my heart" by Terrence Trent D'Arby,with out feeling phsically sick.
and I found later I was one of 3, all of us friends
hey guys!
jiji it's taken me years to catch up with you...and now that finally i took the chance of letting you know that i exist, im afraid my comment will be lost in so many others...
i've been reading mayo's and i've fallen in love with all of you people!
i admire every single one of you; don't wanna sound corny but i feel safe in here...
i just wish that my mom would be as cool as some of you that listen to my chem....
i live in mexico and i went to see them for my very fist time in monterrey...they were the most amazing 2 hours of my life...though i keep wondering if gerard has really change...
well, it seems like i wrote a novel here... just wanted to contribute!
'night!
former lurker
*hides under a rock*
ps. sorry if i interrupt the secret thing..
The thing about secrets are that people are afraid to talk about them for the mere admission of it as well as the talk that later insues!
hi andiebomb, nice of you to drop by.
It's not always so morose.
take care and come back anytime.
or tell us about the concert.
I haven't had the pleasure yet.
Welcom Andiebomb. I am a mom of 13 year old son and we enjoy rocking out to mcr before and after school. Does that me a cool mom - no. I just enjoy their music because they tell a great story as well as lessons in life no matter how ugly it may seem. Your mom is just being protective - that is all we moms know to do in the big sceme of things.
Welcome Andiebomb! Please do tell about your concert experience.
p.
*pulls andiebomb out from under the rock*
we're practically all former lurkers here, so it's cool! :)
toujours said...
*raises hand*
i have a question about the post. you know. that one, up there?
what's up with that title? what is he borrowing? his blog?
yes, i'm answering my own question. lol
but it finally dawned on me that you were borrowing the quote. duh. so much for my vaunted intelligence. *heh*
so no more heebie-jeebies, just hoping you'll feel better tomorrow.
good night, mayo.
Goodnight mayo - I hope that headache gets better. I think it is really sweet that despite your feeling ill, you still posted something for us as well as giving us something else to focus on, i.e. food/sex which are topics so closely related for the human animal.
toujours - I never thought of that !!
I thought borrowed computer but you make more sense.
Maybe next time he can just copy and paste
Kapunua, I just read your email; will answer it in the morning when I make more sense. x.o
Hi andie, hi Ergo, hi anons, and good nite to all.
*HUGZ* to Lolita; my earlier comment to anon could apply to you, too. Give it time, luv.
Nite!!
I have a secret too
When I was 18 years old, I met someone, whom now I know, was/is, the love of my life.
I spent close to ten years with this person, and went through so many things together, but because of his employment, which involved a lot of traveling, we started to emotionally separate. One day he came home earlier than I had expected, and found me in bed with another man.(So cliqued) This man I had only used for companionship, to alleviate the loneliness, while my real love, was always away, in body and mind. Naturally, this caused us to break up.
Despite my attempts to reconcile, I was not forgiven. Out of anger I married a person who appeared outwardly a good choice, but so unsuited to me in many other respects. I am still madly in love with my former partner. Only now I have the hindsight to recognize this.
Truly, madly, deeply, utterly in love, and I don't know how to stop this feeling despite everything I do.
toujours,what quote were they barrowing?
'Cause when I thought about it,I thought that this wasn't the original author and they had to borrow the blog.
I don't know,that was the first thing I thought of when I read that.
Oh, and greetings to you mayo.
well ergoproxy,,,it was awsome!
i thought they were going to play about 10 songs and leave..but no!!! they went all the way from bullets to TBP!
gerard made the chicken dance just as i have seen in utube! he said some words in spanish but the crowd went crazy everytime he did that so i didn't catch all the speech... :(
i must tell you that i never thought they were sooo freakin' good looking! i was close to the stage and i swear i caught gee's eyes for a second!
in my opinion, he was thinner and pale but still gorgeous.....
lol i swear i kept thinkin' of you guys!
i should have throw a jar of Hellman's!
Thanks for sharing Andie! Sounds awesome. Those guys are man-pretty!!!
Anon at 2:03.
Wow.
Wow.
That made my heart burst.
I don't even know what advice to give....Are you still married?(only if you want to answer...I don't want to be intrusive, sorry...)
hi guys hi mayo!
not much time just popped in to say hello. don't really know whats going on but will try and catch up later. hope you guys are all good. bye for now.
Lolita Haze, @ 2.30
Yes, I am still married, but living a lie that will, I feel, shortly unravel.
It's just too painful.
in NME this week theres a pic of the gerard way bear. have any of you guys seen it?? if this has already been commented on then tell me to shut up! anyway its blonie black parade gerard but a bear, and a grumpy looking bastard too!! anyway his blonde hair looks like a swirl of mayo!! fuck i nearly choked when i saw it!! spooky!! i dunno lately the word "mayo" has been jumping out of anywhere at me and freaking me out!! god dammit can't escape you mayo you are taking over my existence!!
fuck above post meant to say "blondie" not "blonie" obviously!!! god i'm in a rush. bye.
you're welcome anon!
By the way, I know what you mean, my mom keeps me from everything that seems too big...and I love her for that...but sometimes I wish she would just let me make my own mistakes...
it seems that everybody is sleeping....so i'm off to bed...
thanks for the warm welcome! now that I've lost my fear...I'll be posting soon!
'night!
there is an email on my profile if anyone wishes to contact me
:)
thanks andiebomb.
anon at 2:03
just remember you can never really go back.
Sometimes the hurt we inflict is too deep to heal.
Be cautious, for yourself and all others involved.
Only you can make the decision, make it wisely
I agree with ergo. I wonder if I believe in fate sometimes;Because sometimes I do believe that if it's meant to happen, it will. I just hope sincerely that things work themselves out for you.
Secret
I have major trust issues. I don't divulge any information to anyone, not even close friends or family because I am afraid they will somehow use that information to hurt me. Due to being bullied throughout my whole school career, I am also cautious with what I say so that I won't lose any friends. I'm also worried that if I tell my friends my problems, they will just get fed up with me and get sick of listening.
Anon @ 3.53
I am so sad that you feel you cannot even trust your close friends or family with your problems.
I wish I could give you a hug right now.
True friends will never be sick of listening to you.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you to open up.
SECRET:
I can't seem to get through the day without a lie.
The real me was never fabulous enough.
Dr. Lecter?
Is that where the quote is from?
Several nights ago, I dreamed that I passed Gerard on the street - except that it wasn't in present day time. It was sort of like I had gone back in time and he was high school age and none of this had happened to him yet, but I still knew it had... Anyway, he walked past me with a few other people, talking and joking... I thought, "Amazing how much he looks like Jodie Foster".
Goofy, I know... It was a dream.
You jerk off Mayo,
If the substances weren't enough, your addicting yourself to the attentions and the emotions expressed by well intended people in this blog. Little do they know how they enable you. And now they are invested in you.
And where do you intend sending them to? You feed them scraps, and sometimes your twisted imagination. To lead the hordes to what?
Your nothing more than an emotional vampire, and just like a vampire you covet more bodies.
Considering, they are now posting their darkest secrets to you, Oh, you MUST be lapping this up. After all, the blow job expose` didn't really work.
Your capacity for immaturity, conceitedness and disrespect is unrelenting. I hope in the end she cleans you up.
Spin, spin, sugar
:o Anon above...
Calm down a little...
... sure some of the stuff Mayo has written was not really stuff I wanted to read, and I'm sure a lot of people feel the same, but I certainly don't really care what Mayo's intentions behind this blog are. Even if Mayo turns out to be a 13 year old girl from Pakistan or the fucking Queen of England. To me it doesn't matter. The people on this comment board are always nice enough to chat and these blogs, however disturbing they might sometimes be, they are sure as hell an entertaining read.
So please, before you all imply that all of the people who visit this board are idiots who can't see what Mayo is doing, just chillax!
I used to cut myself or find ways to mutilate my body. I haven't done that in a long time.
But my secret is that sometimes I still want to.
Black Jacket,
No one is implying that the people who post here are being stupidly lead, quite the contrary, your good intentions maybe continually propelling him to write this dribble.
Do you notice when discussion becomes stagnant or uncomfortable, a new blog emerges.
He does not "chill", maybe plans or plots his next course of action.
While the aimless drift continues.
Well, it doesn't bother me if Mayo wants to keep the conversation going. Good for them.
Hmm.. how about the one where my Auntie took my whole family out for dinner at this place in my city called Schmeckers.
She was drunk, of course, and she told my Uncle to watch us while she decides to go to the bar for '24/7 Happy Hour!'. Boy was she drunk! I ordered a mini pizza and a Ceaser Salad. (I love salad). I still order off the kids menu though. I can't finish the 'grown-up' meals=]
P.S. You have a headache too? I usually watch t.v. on my couch, with the curtains closed, and I tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone for a while. That usually helps=]
These comments are pretty intense, a lot of them are at least. Hmmm.. I'm off to school. I guess I'll have to try reading them all then..
Secret:
I find myself incerdibly attracted to a much younger man although I am happily married. Thing is I'm nearly old enough to be this guy's mother and even though he's not a child, it makes me feel like a pervert. To make matters even worse, he is my best friend's nephew. I mean, my friend and I grew up together, so I'm like part of the family. It's almost incestuous! I feel so guilty! Even though I know that nothing could ever happen between us (if there was even a chance, I would probably run a mile!)I still feel awful. I can't tell my friend or my husband and I usually tell them everything.
I bet Mayo's loving this!!
No need to make amends Mayo, it is easy to wile away the hours in familiar surroundings.
But why the sarcasm ?
What you give with one hand you take back with the other, have you noticed that in yourself ?
So any inner struggles, you must wear yourself out.
Apologies, I meant so MANY inner struggles.
I have been up since 3am and it is not conducive to good keyboard skills.
Why does the title of this blog look so familiar ?
I've seen this somewhere before.
I've scanned old Mayo blogs and it's not in Sept or Oct posts but I KNOW this, but where from ?
Secret:
I know I can't give you the help you need. Why? Because we are exactly the same on the inside. We would do nothing but enable each other. So deep, so far down, we'd go, but at least we would be together. We would never feel alone again. We would do exactly what we wanted, when we wanted and I would help you. Probably, I would do those same things with you. Especially if I thought it would make you smile. Wrapped up in our own universe, we would shut others out and we would self destruct.
And we would enjoy it.
p.s. Consider yourself warned.
Secrets, I like it, good idea K. I don't see you sharing yours though. Or have you already?
Spin, spin, sugar.
Mayo, shut up or spit yours out.
Spinning right back at you
Or what about I make a secret for you?
Mayo secret:
I like to create stories (no secret there)
No one knows who I really am (true)
I enjoy emotionally hurting people.(Shock!)
part deux,
I got married to avoid loneliness
I enjoy my beverages
I don't enjoy being a rockstar
I smoke too much and am a bad kisser
I'm the anon at 9:26 and I am not Mayo. I just want the person who started this to play along. If she hasn't already.
Secret:
I actually do know Gerard. Not like he's my best friend or anything. Hell, not even inner cicle, but I do know him personally and I still don't know if he's Mayo or not! Thing is, I have to pretend I don't because it would be betraying a trust and frankly, no one would believe me anyway.
So Mayo, if you really are, I guess that puts us in the same boat.
secret: how do you know gerard
^ nothing to do with the band, just real life.
secret: did you grow up with gerard.
good morning all.
so many secrets -- some very hard reading. i hope some relief was gained for all who shared what weighed their hearts.
Entropy said...
toujours,what quote were they barrowing?
entropy, i believe the borrowed quote was this one:
-VM said...
This is the description of a moment. I do not believe it is intended to give us the ultimate insight as to what is or what is not their relationship. I would think that would take more than just a few sentences. I can't judge their happiness or lack of based on what I read here today.
It was just a moment.
-VM
October 18, 2007 10:57 PM
due to the fact that mayo stated
It is in the moment, not the gutter.. he didn't have time to write a new post, and this quote said what he wanted to say anyway, so he borrowed it.
that's the conclusion i've come to anyway!
yeh gnothi season the title of this blog looks really familiar and i for the life of me can't think where i've seen it before.
and thanks everyone for sharing your secrets, some of them were very sad to read.
morning everybody!
I feel like joining the secret thing....
i've been in a relationship with the love of my life; I truly want to be with him for the rest of my days...
but recently I met this guy...he's so sweet and cute as hell..........but he's into my best friend....
since I've nothing to do about it,,I'm the cupid of their relationship...
the good thing is that she's right next to me sucked by facebook....
Good Morning!
Hope everyone has slept well or had a good day!
Mayo:
I'm not as nearly pissed of at you as I was last night. My sincerest apologies. It's okay to continue frustrating me. I'm getting better at handling it :)
Toujours:
I like that idea. Seems to make sense to me.
To everyone:
Have we got anything else on the Leathermouth show?
secret: did you grow up with gerard.
In the same area, but I did not know him as a child. Anyway, this was just something I wanted to get off my chest as we were all in secret mode. I have no wish to call attention to myself, so I will now go back to being just another one of you fine people here.
It was decadent, once.
On a white platter, butternut squash with aspargus sprawled all over. A rasberry sauce dripped across in a sad attempt to make it artistic, with those strange basil leaves, boiled too much that they shriveled and crackled when touched.
Those who shared it with me knew nothing about a fancy dinner. No napkins across laps, no silverware was used. Just dirty fingernails growing out of sticky fingers, sucked upon to get the juice.
Good afternoon everyone! Still spewing secrets I see. Maybe I'll share one later...
Hi everyone! Another weird and cryptic blog from Mayo. I can't believe how much I missed since I went to bed last night. I don't have time to read 300 comments, did SS show up last night? Do we know if he was right about the bands he predicted would play at the Leathermouth gig? Not that I doubt him, I would just like proof!
I'm here by myself again. Why does this keep happening to me? *sniffs armpits*
Annon at 8:18
I too have a secret like yours. There is a strong attraction between a young man and I at my local video store. I call him blockbuster blue eyes. Everytime I walk in the store sparkes immediately start flying. As soon as I walk in the store he is at my side flirting. My son has even notice the attraction this guy has for me. Once he asked me on a date and when I told him I was married and 42 his jaw dropped. Yes I too am happily married, but I feel this strange attraction to BB eyes, but I don't feel like a perv at all. If I were not married, I would definately be an urban cougar!!!
I say enjoy the feeling but be careful
I'll try and get back on the pooter later. TTFN.
Anon@9:26, I already spilled my darkest secret, unanonymously, like two or three weeks ago. That really is my darkest one, too. There is something I can post here, some parts of it are things that my friends know, but some are things that I've never told, but it's a long story (what isn't with me?) and pretty harsh.
What's with everyone quoting Pimp Sneakers? I quoted that crap last month when I went on my crazy TBS song-assigning tangent and posted "Spin," in which Adam Lazzara is supposedly saying "Spin, spin sugar" at the end, but I still don't hear it. "Spin Spin Sugar" is one of my favorite songs. But, umm, it is so three entries ago. ^_~
People imagine me to be someone I am not.
I have been put on a pedestal, one that I never wanted nor have ever deserved.
People look up to me, needing, wanting advice, when I never have any to give, yet some how, blinded by love perhaps, they find messages within even the most dull of words I speak.
I wish it were never this way.
I wish I hadn't become who I am.
PSHSHT! I'm 35 in two days and one of my biggest crushes is my 21 year old training brother. He's beautiful. I have no shame; I stare openly at him. Whenever we're doing grappling drills, I shamelessly try to be partnered with him. Uhh, so I can learn better. ^_~
To the Anon @ 6:48:
One thing you're forgetting is the concept of choice. OUR choice. We're posting these secrets for ourselves & each other, whether it's anonymously or by name. And we're doing it because we WISH to.
If Mayo gets off on these secrets, it's really no skin off my ass. He can think what he (she?) will -- he will anyway. We're chatting amongst ourselves; if that enables him, then I guess it enables him. That wasn't the point, believe me.
Anon @ 9:40 & 9:51:
If you're for real, then feel free to join in anytime. We might sound sad/troubled/fucked-up, but being here is cathartic for some of us. It can be cathartic for you. (And if you want help with the kissing thing, I'm sure there are plenty of people here who'd be willing to help you with that. ^_~)
Thanks for sharing your secrets, everyone. We all do things to help keep the loneliness at bay. Some of us overdo everything, some of us close ourselves off. Some of us do both. It doesn't make us bad people, it makes us human. If we were all perfect, what fun would that be?
People imagine me to be someone I am not.
I have been put on a pedestal, one that I never wanted nor have ever deserved.
People look up to me, needing, wanting advice, when I never have any to give, yet some how, blinded by love perhaps, they find messages within even the most dull of words I speak.
I wish it were never this way.
I wish I hadn't become who I am.
Wow, that is hard to deal with. But just be glad you're not Gerard Way. He actually put himself on this pedestal because he wanted to save lives, he had a "message" about feminism and acceptance, and now he finds that he can't live up to that. That's gotta be pretty rough, don'tyathink?
You're very right, Kapunua.
I think that may be why I found myself relating to Gerard in the earlier stages of the band, but once he began to seem arrogant about the attention, I realized that we are actually quite different in those respects.
It's a shame.
I hope the weight doesn't become too much to bear for him. Have millions of teenages rely on you as opposed to a couple handfuls, I don't know how I'd be able to stand that.
Another Secret:
I used cocaine yesterday and I didn't even get a buzz.
Just did it because it was there and I was bored.
Didn't want them to have it all.
I shouldn't have been snarky with you, anon; I honestly mistook you for someone who was trying to make a point, and not someone who actually had a secret.
In that case, I know how you feel. And I know it must be pretty hard having all that pressure on you, but it seems like you're actually doing some good for people, giving that much. ^_^
Secrets:
I too did coke last weekend and deffinately got a serious buzz. Why did I do this to myself and I know I am far too old and too wise to do this once in a blue moon. I quess I will never learn. Thanks for letting me share this. Please for the love of all that is holy do not post "get help"!!!!
Secrets again:
I like crank better than coke. And ice better than crank.
I won't say to "get help." Sometimes getting help doesn't help anyway, and when you're that down in it, those words are just banal and meaningless. All I will say is that I hope you'll figure it out at some point, and it was brave of you to post that.
Ice can be particularly nasty, Ice can be dangerous and really fuck you up if you are not careful. There will be those that follow blindly and those that will take a stand against Ice. I know who I am rooting for.
thanks Kapunua
Ice is bad news.
Now we are sharing secrets?
I don't know what to say/how to say it. I have a few that I really really want to get off of my chest, and I can't even tell any of my friends these secrets. I'm too scared they'd judge me even though they aren't about me personally.
This is long; get comfortable. (Cue chorus: "That's what he said!")
Okay, here's my secret. Some of it actually isn't a secret, but some parts are. And of course, I need to fill you in on some background, too.
Okay, so it's no secret that many of us here were bullied in school, or outcasts in some way. I daresay that's part of why we all find ourselves on this particular blog: whoever Mayo really is, we came here through the MCR fandom, a band that made it okay to have been that kid in school, the band who wanted to build you up, who said it was okay to be not okay, and who (at one time) took a strong stance against some of the harsh words that got thrown around at many of us. (I'm not talking about today's MCR that takes a band on tour with them who gleefully tosses those same words around, but rather MCR of old.)
Back in the 80's though, bullying was just the norm. There were no laws about it, it wasn't a big issue, it was just something that happened in school if you were ugly or different or shy. Assault was accepted as something you had to expect if you were one of those kids. You just hid in the library until lunchtime was over, you changed into your gym clothes in the bathroom instead of the locker room, you skipped pep rallies or hid under the bleachers. That kind of thing.
There were lots of different races at my school, but I was the only one with the Cherokee face and long black hair. Holy crap, the anglo-saxon kids hated me. The kindest nickname I had was "Pocahontas bitch;" to this day I can't even repeat what the nastiest one was. I honestly don't even like to think the words. During school hours, once in a while I would get caught; a few of th eboys liked ot drag me out of the cafeteria and hide me in the doorways of the auditorium and punch me to see if I would bruise the next day. I made the mistake of going out to lunch one time and not running fast enough: that one ended up with squad cars and a court date that eventually got settled, the boys involved getting probation and suspension.
But really it was outside of school that I had the most problems. There was a group of boys who went to school with me and who lived around the corner from me: the Smiths. Three of them were all right, but the two middle boys, Kevin and Brenden, were the worst. Kevin used to just sit behind me and rip my hair out, throw things at me, try to twist my arm, you know typical bully stuff. Brenden though, he was like a sociopath. Brenden used to chase me all over the neighborhood from the time I was able to go off my block--throwing rocks and insults at me the whole way, etc. The oldest brother, a kid named Patrick (who was actually kind of nice,) was diabetic and on insulin. This unfortunately gave Brenden access to used hypodermic needles. Anyway, one day I was hanging around by the corner of my block, chilling with my cousin who was staying across the street with our Gran. My cousin was marginally more accepted than I was and usually didn't run into this sort of trouble, but this day she was with me, so all bets were off. We were about eleven, by the way, Brenden would have been around 13.
Anyway, so he tried to grab my cousin's hand, he was saying, "Hey, let's all shake hands and be friends!" She almost reached out to take his hand but he had this smirk on his face and he was holding his hand in a weird way. I saw that he had the tip of a hypodermic in his hand so I pulled her away and I told her to run. I had long hair then like I do now, and that little SOB grabbed me by it and threw me on the ground. He was kind of spun around so he was facing away from me and all he could reach was my legs, so he just started nailing me with the needle all up and down my legs and just screaming curse words at me, "Ugly stupid bitch" and "Pocahontas bitch" and all of this kind of thing, most of it unrepeatable. We happened to have fallen by a split-rail fence that was broken. I was trying to kick him at first, but then I managed to grab a piece of the broken fence and hit him on the back with it. OMG, that really pissed him off, but it also got him off of me. I was a little afraid to tell my Dad when I got home because I knew that he would kill this effing kid if he found out. But it was kind of obvious that something had happened, so I kept it chill and toned it down. I'm pretty sure he went after the kid's father, but I know that I like begged my parents not to press charges, because Brenden's brothers would still be going to school with me and I'd never live it down.
That's not actually the secret. ^_^
The secret is that all of this combined to make me hate my face so much that I spent like years all during high school trying to figure out ways to cause an "accident" that would make me have to get total reconstructive surgery. When I fell off my bike, I would try to land on my face. I remember sitting in my bedroom once actually trying to break my nose with this little hammer from a mini tool kit. After high school, during college, I actually had a few friends, and weirdly enough, I dated one or two really good-looking boys. I had made myself smart, witty and interesting, so I got some boys for whom looks didn't matter; they just really liked me. There would be times, periods of months even, when I wouldn't even think about what I looked like, just wouldn't worry about it. I kind of avoid mirrors and always have, so there were times it didn't even occur to me.
The weird thing is that I sometimes still get like that though, to this day. I don't even know what triggers it. Last year I was parking my car and I stopped to adjust my steering wheel. I was going off on this tangential thought and I didn't even realize I was doing it at first: but consciously adjusting the steering wheel so that god forbid if I ever did get into an accident, my face would hit the steering wheel or the airbag. I was like, WTF? Why is this still an issue? But the truth is, it probably always will be. I'm never going to actually like my face, but I really do need to learn to at least live with it and not be horrified if I catch my reflection in a window or something.
Oh, and I really, really resent good-looking people. To the point that it makes me mean and judgmental if they ever complain about something. I have to stop myself from getting into the mindset that as long as you're good-looking, nothing can really be too bad. I know it's ridiculous, and it's quite possibly my biggest and pettiest flaw.
Anon 1:17 and 1:23-
Are we talking about the person Ice, or are we still talking about drugs?
To the rest of you:
You all are so brave for sharing your secrets, anonymously or not. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to do what each of you have done. I hope you feel better after releasing some of that pent up frustration.
As we are sharing, I will too. A lot of you will probably not agree with what I have to say but this is how I feel.
I find that the older I get, the less patience I have with things that piss me off.
One of the things that piss me off is when people who have problems with drink, drugs etc say "it's an illness".
No, it's a weakness. There is no virus, germ or bug that makes you drink etc. I think that statement is a total kick in the teeth to people with genuine illnesses.
A person can choose to pick up a drink or not, but a person cannot choose not to have cancer. To compare the two sometimes makes me feel physically sick.
Maybe others feel differently but that's how I feel.
That's my secret. Secretly on the inside my thoughts are not as nice and cheery as I appear on the outside.
I'm so sorry to hear about the bullying kapunua. I am one of those lucky few who have never been bullied. I come from a small village on the outskirts of a city where we all grew up knowing each other. Bullying wasn't in anyone's nature.
I honestly don't know what pleasure bullies get from their behaviour, it baffles me.
If it is hard for you to understand alcohol or drug problems as a disease, try to think of the abuse (of whatever substance) as the symptom of the disease and not the disease itself.
Kapunua,
That is a horrible story. I'm sorry that you had to go through that*hugs*
Luckily, at my school, we don't have things like that happening. There are many different races at my school too, I am the only one there who is Inuit, actually half Inuit. My mom is Inuit and my dad is white. Yes, people call the people of my culture "Eskimos", but really that is just offensive. In my moms language, that means "eaters of raw meat". I'm personally not offended by it, but if you are caught saying that word around my mom, she will just tell you that we are not Eskimos, we are Inuit.
I've never had the problem of fitting in, but the thing that bugs me the most is when people are asking me "What are you?". Seriously, they make it sound like I am some sort of alien from another planet. Then when I reply back with "I'm half Inuit, & half caucasian." They act all shocked and surprised and interested. I don't look different from anyone else. I just have more olive skin (&&I get one heck of a tan in the summer=]) and naturally dark hair.
I used to be ashamed to say what I was. I still am a little bit ashamed to this day. But I learned to love who I am, and love being different.=]
I know what you mean anonymous. But if I had cancer or something like that and it was out of my control, to hear an addict go on about not being able to do anything about their "disease" would leave me heartbroken.
I think that's what makes me the most mad, when they say they cannot do anything about it cos that's just a lie. What they mean is that it's too hard and they can't be bothered to put in the effort cos it's just too easy to give in. Whereas a cancer sufferer has to battle for every day.
Well, I am sorry to burst everyone's bubble, even though no one is here..
I have to get back to school!
Byee everyone!
Goodbye Mayo!
*hug*
<3
Oh, you know what dude, cry me a river......
Really, you've tired of what you've become? Well then, why in God's name did you pursue this lifestyle with such gusto? You didn't have to you know, no one twisted your arm hun. I mean do you realize how blessed you are? You have a brilliant career where you don't have to kiss anyone's ass all day, you have economic stability, you have a family who adores you, so what's your problem?
Honestly, this whole thing sounds like a crock 'Mayo" is "Gerard", please.... and if it really is you then what's up with the verbal diarrhea huh?. Dude, what are you writing for, huh, trashy novels now. "What's next, walking through a mist of clouds, riding bareback on a white tiger, bla, bla, bla............"
Oh, and another thing, let me just address this last post. That's nice, she blows you before each show, wow, you kiss your mother with that mouth.... Things of such intimate nature (such as the one you discussed in the last post) should stay behind closed doors, you admitting such crap just shows us the lack of consideration that you have for such delicate and intimate things.
You know what your sheeps clothing is off and its showing us what a real dumb ass you really are!
P.S. Remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart.....
You were stone white so delicate
lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark remembering You how you used to be slow drowned
You were angels so much more than everything
oh hold for the last time then slip away quietly......
That was intense anon!
I am still off to school=]
Bye!
Paperheartxx, you're Inuit? That's so awesome. I know what you mean about the word "Eskimo," it's very much the same with people unknowing using the word "squaw" for female natives. "Squaw" actually is a derogatory term for women.
I get the same thing, too, people asking me out of nowhere, "What are you?!" and then clumsily adding, "I mean, like, what race?" OMG, rude.
anon at 2:01...excellent Cure quote.
Kapuna - Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it was hard for you to do. I have to admit that I would never in a million years have guessed anything like this had ever happened to you. That is because you seem so together, so smart and witty. You express yourself so well I envy you.
High school for me was unhappy. I spent most of my time alone. I came from a Catholic High School my sophomore year and didn't fit in the local public school. I moved to a very small town at the time and everyone knew everyone so I was an outsider. I was basically ignored, never invited to anything or if they did pay attention to me it was to make fun of me. I learned to become invisible. I would cringe when people would say "Oh these are the best years of your life". Shit, I thought if that's the case I'm screwed. Anyway I finally got out of the small town only to return years later. My kids go to the same high school and I see the same people I went to school with. I can't help it but I still hate them. I'm sure they have no idea why. Probably some of them have forgotten how they treated me. I can't forget and I know that wrong. My life has turned out much better then some of their lives. Why can't I take comfort in that?
Elena, feelings are deeply entrenched within us.
No-one can say "You shouldn't feel that way, you should be over it by now".
You feel the way you feel and you shouldn't have to apologise to anyone for feeling that way, not even yourself.
"Oh, and I really, really resent good-looking people. To the point that it makes me mean and judgmental if they ever complain about something."
I know you already know this but I just wanted to make the point that good looking people go through a lot of crappy times too. It doesn't matter what you look like, we all go through tough times. Death, judgements, job losses, being made fun of, being bullied...it all happens to good looking people too. You also have to remember that a lot of "good looking" people are not that cute as children and they went through hell. Look at our little Gerard.
Paperheartxx, you're Inuit? That's so awesome. I know what you mean about the word "Eskimo," it's very much the same with people unknowing using the word "squaw" for female natives. "Squaw" actually is a derogatory term for women.
I get the same thing, too, people asking me out of nowhere, "What are you?!" and then clumsily adding, "I mean, like, what race?" OMG, rude.
Magic Pie: No, I know that, honestly I logically do know that. It's just an issue I have, a hangup. As far as people like Gerard, who were "ugly ducklings" though, I still resent the fact that some of them turned out to be swans. ;D
Elena, thank you! And you're too right:
I would cringe when people would say "Oh these are the best years of your life".
Absolutely. I hated every second of it, and there's no way I'd ever want to be a teenager again or relive those years. The only way I'd ever want to revisit them would be if, like they say, I knew then what I know now.*
*Kung Fu. ;P
'I never asked you to lie for me'
Those words almost ended a friendship, because at that moment, filled with disgust and disbelief, it took every ounce of restraint and self control I possessed to stop me knocking that person out cold.
Just to carry one my rant about addicts.
They are kinda spoiling things for others.
In Britain at the moment there is this thing called the Georga Best effect. Let me explain.
There was thi footballer in the 60's who was a hero in the footballing sense of the word but an alcoholic away from the pitch. He was George Best.
He drank himself to illness and had a liver transplant. Some people were upset about this as his illness was self induced. He swore this was his second chance at life and he wouldn't waste it.
For years, he couldn't drink because of the transplant. He didn't drink for years and years.
One day he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him he is now so healthy that he is as healthy as if it was his own liver.
He goes straight to the pub and never really came out again.
He died recently. He drank himself to death. peple were livid that the liver he had could have gone to someone more deserving.
Now people are reluctant to become organ donors. Every day of the week our newspapers run stories pleading for people to register on the organ donor register and people don't want to know, the George Best effect.
Innocent people are suffering and it makes me mad.
Sorry about the addict stuff if you don't agree.
I was just explaining that some things kinda piss me off.
These avoidable "illnesses" hurt others.
It just upsets me.
I'm also angry cos I live next to an alcoholic who blasts loud music in the early hours.
Good afternoon, all!
Not much to add right now, sinus headache. J. and I will post something later on.
I just wanted to address (for the last time I hope) a message that was posted to us on the previous blog entry. It was:
Anonymous said...
"
Nah, your jealousy over not getting to "bang" them yourself."
LOL at "your" and even more at the typical fangirl "JUSS JELLUSSS!!!!11" follow-up that comes after any kind of criticism. Thank you for proving my point tenfold.
October 21, 2007 9:34 AM
First, the use of "your" in this sentence is correct. If J. had written "you're" it would have read "you are jealousy", so I'm not sure why the use of "your" prompted the reply it did.
Second, we are not sure why this particular Anon was so vehemently attacking us specifically. It seemed odd, but apparently SOMETHING struck a close chord.
Again, thank you to those who stuck up for us and understand.
L.
Oh hey, check it out. There is a coda to that story, it's about Brenden Smith. One time when he was chasing me,I had just finished watching the movie "Firestarter." I seem to remember that the Dad in that movie had this power where he could tell someone what to do and they would do it, and one time when someone was chasing him (and Drew Barrymore, if memory serves?) he started telling the chaser to "go blind! Go blind!" or something like that. Right? So Brenden was chasing me one day after that needle incident, (for getting him in trouble, I think,) and I just started yelling to him that I hoped he went blind, because man, I was so fed up.
Come ten years later, Brenden is around 23, fresh out of jail after having tried to kill Kevin with a crowbar, and he's at a party in the old neighborhood. Having learned nothing, he's still mouthing off to people and still trying to start trouble. He gets into a fight with someone at the party, but this time he picks the wrong guy. The guy shoots him in the face with some kind of buckshot, ripping off pieces of his face. Brenden lives, but from then on, he's legally blind.
He can see a little after he heals some, but no more driving, fighting, nothing like that. He "sees" me at the bus stop one day after I'm home from college, and immediately I become this little kid again and I start to panic, thinking he's going to come after me again, even though he's got a cane and sunglasses and all of that. I start to leave, but then the dude waves at me, this hesitant, pathetic little wave as he's all hunched over and looking very old and frail, even in his mid-twenties. I actually felt kind of bad. I actually waved back. I still don't know if he was waving at me because he didn't know who I was, or if it was because he did know.
Never saw the dude again, either way.
Anonymous said...
'I never asked you to lie for me'
Those words almost ended a friendship, because at that moment, filled with disgust and disbelief, it took every ounce of restraint and self control I possessed to stop me knocking that person out cold.
October 22, 2007 2:28 PM
It's the ones who try the hardest to help who get hurt the most. Part of me would say "You should have" but the other part hopes they soon regret the words they said to you and understand why you wanted to deck them.
L.
sick tats, braw!
"Oh, and I really, really resent good-looking people. To the point that it makes me mean and judgmental if they ever complain about something."
"You also have to remember that a lot of "good looking" people are not that cute as children and they went through hell. Look at our little Gerard."
So true Magic Pie. I went through a long ugly duckling stage and when I turned 19 I blossomed. I never took my looks for granted but I did notice that people treated me differently both good and bad. It sad though because I really am someone behind the body and the face. I am intellegent (minus spelling abilities), witty, kind, and giving. But the most thing I am proud of is that I am a fighter. I survived cancer twice. But no one sees that. They see the face and figure and no one ever thinks for a second that I have face death twice and it scared the shit out of me. People think (no they have actually said) look at her she is perfect. Far from it, I am afraid.
P.
P.S. And Kapunua I don't complain about too many things in my life not because it is "perfect", but because I am truly grateful for being alive!!!!
Secret:
I am afraid to stop moving, because if I do I will collapse into reality. And what frightens me the most about that is…I will find failure.
Evening guys!
Evening Mayo!
Just been catching up on what I missed last night on the previous blog. Not even started on this one yet... do forgive me, Mayo!
m.
Sorry you are leaving us for a while....will miss you!
"P.S Confessed faults are half mended."
Too true....the recognition of ones faults is the first step to change. But can the over-analysis of faults lead to a more broken/darker place?
"Fear less, hope more
Whine less, breathe more"
Two of my many faults!
Enjoy yourself "somewhere nice" but do please come back!
Elena:
I hear ya! You're not invisible!
Someone once told me that if you believe you fit in, you will.....they are either very wise or very foolish!
Never managed to truly believe.
Mustard:
Beautiful words, as always.
That feeling that your disappearance from the world will have no real effect on anyone.....it's that believing you are worthy thing again, isn't it!
*runs off to buy more shoes*
Emotional/ Empathy Shields:
I have a tough one, and a sick, black sense of humour! Have to have, you see, developed both to be able to do my job.
Only thing is, it doesn't come off with the scrubs anymore; I no longer keep it in my locker.
Too easy to sit behind; too frightening to come out!
Anon:
"What's more painful truth or lies?"
Well, my dear, the truth I guess! But then isn't the lie the initial pain of the truth plus the pain of deceit, disappointment, distrust etc.....
If you keep spin, spinning sugar don't you get candyfloss?
Mmmm....sweet fluffy clouds...quite the 'sugar' rush 'til the nausea kick in.
How are you all?
Gonna go catch up on the new post and comments...back soon!
Mayo, memorable meal and appetiser;do you mean relationship and how we met/ fell in love?
Sorry if someone already asked that....will go read now!
dei gratia - thanks for "seeing" me. I am so happy to have found this place where so many different yet somehow alike people live. That's sound weird but I really think it's true. So how are you today?
Hi DG! How are ya?
Nice to have a Brit back.
I'm good, ladies. Thanks!
Got some reading to do, catch you later!
People imagine me to be someone I am not.
I have been put on a pedestal, one that I never wanted nor have ever deserved.
People look up to me, needing, wanting advice, when I never have any to give, yet some how, blinded by love perhaps, they find messages within even the most dull of words I speak.
I wish it were never this way.
I wish I hadn't become who I am.
Wow, this sounded so sad, it's heartbreaking.
Sounds like there's not a whole lot you can do about it, what's done is done. You can, however make the best out the hand you've been dealt and try to give those people the best advice you can. I mean, if they are going to take everything you say as gospel anyway, you might as well say something meaningful. Who knows, things happen for a reason and maybe fate just thought you were the best person for the job even if you didn't.
Anonymous said...
Secret:
I am afraid to stop moving, because if I do I will collapse into reality. And what frightens me the most about that is…I will find failure.
October 22, 2007 3:17 PM
Sometimes you have to stop moving to find out where you are and ask directions. If you keep going in the wrong direction, eventually you will become hopelessly lost.
Rest assured, even if you are lost you are not a failure. You can ALWAYS turn around. That's what's so great about this ride...
there's many, many different paths.
Love you dearly,
L.
K, I dont think you are ugly. I saw your picture. Don't take this the wrong way but you look like a non white trash version of LynZ. yes I said that, and I don't care who the owner of this blog is!!! I know white trash when I see it!!!
Anonymous said...
You're very right, Kapunua.
I think that may be why I found myself relating to Gerard in the earlier stages of the band, but once he began to seem arrogant about the attention, I realized that we are actually quite different in those respects.
It's a shame.
I hope the weight doesn't become too much to bear for him. Have millions of teenages rely on you as opposed to a couple handfuls, I don't know how I'd be able to stand that.
Maybe it is already too much to bear. As much as I hate arrogance, it is just a defence mechanism. It's just a way to emotionally detach ourselves from others. Perhaps that's the only way he can deal with it.
It's all very sad.
Hello everyone just finished reading the comments. K thank you for starting this topic and for sharing your secret. Your new one.
Hello to andiebomb welcome to the club.
To the pissed off anon I have had a feeling off and on they we were enabling him. I thought that some of the anon who were trying to get us to leave were doing because of that reason. The way I feel about it and it maybe wrong is at least you have an idea of who is enabling him. You can come here and see what is going on.
Mayo changed his location.
3:17 PM.
He actually shared a secret with us.
Anonymous said...
Secret:
I am afraid to stop moving, because if I do I will collapse into reality. And what frightens me the most about that is…I will find failure.
October 22, 2007 3:17 PM
I don't even know what to say now. A part of me is always upset with Mayo and his posts. After I read that, I just want to give him a hug and tell him that everything will be okay.
Hello CTV.
Hey, love.
How are you?
Hey guys!
How is everyone. Thanks for sharing the secret Mayo. =]
I am afraid to stop moving, because if I do I will collapse into reality. And what frightens me the most about that is…I will find failure.
Please Mayo, don't be scared. Failure is something you learn from, it is scary sometimes, but you always learn something from it. Once you stop moving around for a bit, you can relax and enjoy life.
I'm afraid to look myself in the eye.
I'm fine hoe are you, hello Ph and hello mayo. thanks for the secret.
Secret:
I am afraid to stop moving, because if I do I will collapse into reality. And what frightens me the most about that is…I will find failure.
Hon, everyone is afraid of that. Every day we go about our lives always wondering what will happen around the next turn. I guess the trick is to look at what you've done, take pride in the good and know that no matter what happens you're where you are because of the things you've accomplished.
Hello Sdock10 why are you afraid to look yourself in the eye.
Mayo,
I'm so glad you shared with us. I hope it made you feel a little better.
Love to you always,
S
Because I will hate what I see. That person is so pathetic and weak.
Mayo, if you keep rushing through life without slowing down, all you will manage to do is reach the end sooner.
Hey Martha!=]
hi everyone!
I suppose I understand the need to go hard and fast all the time....gives you less time to stop, dwell, or reflect.
I know night time is the hardest because that is when everything stops and you are left with nothing but the voices in your head.
Its strange the way we see ourselves compared to the way others do. You were one of the first people to post on these blogs something that took me a long time to do. and even now I find it hard to do so. I don't believe that you are pathetic or weak. You are willing to open up about yourself to people you don't know. It maybe the Internet but still that is something that is very hard to do. I have no idea what is going on in your life right now to make you feel the way you do. Just now that myself and all the others are here for you when you need us.
Hey Meese!=]
SS just changed his location.
Location: domus dulcis domus
Translation please?
S - We always judge ourselves the hardest. Your words do not echo a weak of pathetic person. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
To answer what you said earlier Kapunua;
Paperheartxx, you're Inuit? That's so awesome. I know what you mean about the word "Eskimo," it's very much the same with people unknowing using the word "squaw" for female natives. "Squaw" actually is a derogatory term for women.
I get the same thing, too, people asking me out of nowhere, "What are you?!" and then clumsily adding, "I mean, like, what race?" OMG, rude.
Yes I am a proud Inuit=]
I understand where you are coming from too, I mean with the rude comments you hear sometimes. Honestly, some people need to look at everyone with open eyes, and stop being judgemental if someone is different=]
Hi PH! What have I missed? I came here earlier and there was no-one here AGAIN! I was beginning to get quite a complex about it!
marthajones,
Thanks for that. I appreciate it, but I don't think I could do this if all of us were face to face. I think it's easier to hide behind a profile or a blog or the internet.
S - We always judge ourselves the hardest. Your words do not echo a weak of pathetic person. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Too true Elena. I find that I judge myself 10x harder than I do others. It's just in our nature to do that.
I don't even know what I missed meese!:S
Haha, I don't think we missed much!=]
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