I woke up too late, rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. Tried to piss but, as usual, my morning anatomy wouldn’t allow the release. Fifteen minutes, a cigarette, and a cup of coffee later, and I was free flowing. My shower was too hot and the pressure was too low. Using a white cotton hotel towel I dried myself off. I pulled my pants on one leg at a time, and then pulled my t-shirt over my head. Breakfast consisted of dry toast, a banana, and two more cups of coffee. I spent the rest of my day pulling words out of my ass for fuckers who could really give two shits.
p.s. sign it on the dotted line.
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575 comments:
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Just so you know I give 4 shits about everything you say & do!
I admire you very much. <3
Your myspace page is getting lonely.
To be quite honest. I am starting to be as amazed with you as You are with Your Self. The last blog entry recieved 110 comments and counting. You should congratulate yourself with a diamond encrusted keyboard or a microphone made of platinum. Even though I still don't think you are Gerard.
It has been fun.
The 5% possibility that you are the infamous older Way brother:
How is married life treating you?
Does she make good coffee?
Hmmm. Dried toast and banana-
I guess she is too busy playing bass in a shit band to make breakfast/or are you even together?
I hope it all works out.
You need someone to be as consumed with you as you are.
Need a distraction after you pull those words and songs out of your ass. People give more than two shits:
You bring them your bullets
They brought you their love.
I don't know what to say.
Stunning, how interesting your morning is.
Tell me,
are you happy now?
Because I actually give a shit.
OK, I get it you are only human. Those fuckers you talk to (I assume you mean the media)only listen cause they get paid. We listen because we give two shits.
*yawn* Save any lives today?
"Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records."
Christopher Walken is hot. I'd hit it eight ways to Sunday TBH.
So now we release the inner cynic.
And isn't male anatomy a bitch ?
Of course I give 2 shits,
I like you - you amuse me.
ps. maybe try better quality hotel
in the future.
Well-said, Blackheart13!
If we didn't give a shit about Gerard, we wouldn't be here. Maybe the teenies want to fuck him, but a lot of us are older, wiser and less blinded by the mask. The man is acting as if he's out of control, and the adult fans can see it.
Dunno who you're supposed to be, but thanks for sharing what you had for breakfast. Hopefully you didn't choke on it.
Are you ever going to tell us who the fuck you are? Or are you going to continue to stick with the cryptic-spastic-mysterious bullshit we've seen from you so far?
Maybe people would give a shit if you didn't lie, complain, or whine so much perhaps? You started getting redundant very early in the game.
"P.S." - Is this your only daily gratification?
Your day kind of sounded like my day, only I didn't take a shower until about 30 minutes ago.
Woke up late for work; no shower (sucks); drove in some traffic; smoked two cigarettes; drank a glass of juice in a coffee mug. All day I worked just appease my asshole boss, who doesn't give a shit about me.
No toast, but rather a redbull followed by a cup of coffee all by 11 a.m. Ate a handful of cheese-its for lunch. Lots of babble, fake smiles, and fake laughs; but at the end of the day -I realize that my boss and all the other fuckers just amuse me. It makes me feel better.
Good night. I'll be gone for a few days.
-Anon30
I too woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, and into the bathroom. I was able to piss, had 2 cups of coffee; no cream or sugar, just equal, had 3 cigarettes. Took a hot shower, the temp and pressure was perfect, dried my ass off using my black walmart towel. I pulled my pants on one leg at a time as well. I drank more coffee and smoked more cigarettes. Laid around a bit more. Spent time with my significant other. Then I went to work. Now, I'm home. Washed my face. Smoked some more. Put some pajamas on now I'm sitting here wasting my time pulling these words out of my ass.
Wow..so what you're saying is you're only human?
Me too. I just don't happen to like a lot of our species.
P.S. I didn't have any problems pissing this morning. Mine was pretty smooth sailing. Good luck with that.
-Anon30
LOL. I love the comments on here. Especially the one about Walken.
"I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell!"
It is all going to be ok,my little Mayonaise.I am sorry you had a bad day.What can I do to make it better?(hug)
Ok,that was kind of awkward..on to question
I know this whole fan-based picture is fraught with some humor and I must admit I laugh at the extremo antics.It is one of the most diverse I have seen.
I have to ask for myself with respect to all the other fuckers who do give two shits, plus
non specific fans-who appreciates all mcr music
bullets only believers
revenge only believers
before TBP believers
after TBP believers
all talking on the internet:
fanfic writers
INO
heaven help us the buzznet Nazi
live journal
bloggers
myspace
facebook
about the ever expanding side-show of:
frerard voyeurs
teenies
non groupies who would be groupies if given the chance
lovers
haters
users
used
confused
destroyers
fuckers who dont give 2 shits
and in some cases fighting amongest each other
sorry if I missed anyone,I try to embrace the whole circle.
so I wonder..will you appease all or will some hopefully be left choking on the dust when you make the move to conquer yet another.
`sc
That's more like it. No more cryptic crap, Just being your angry little fucking self again. Fantastic :D
Why are you all contributing to this shit? This is not the fat guy from My Chemical Romance writing this blog! Most of you stated this before, but still you are writing your angry little notes in desperate hope that it could be him after all!
STOP CONTRIBUTING!
If you keep doing this you keep giving him the feeling that he is IMPORTANT, although he is just a megalomaniac alcoholic, who is NOT writing this blog and who happens to sing in a much overrated rock band.
If you are REALLY that ticked off by Gerard Way show it to him in a way that would really hit him. Not with pathetic little comments, but with your money!
STOP BUYING THE CD'S, STOP BUYING THE CONCERT TICKETS, STOP BUYING THE MERCH!
That is the power of a disappointed fan!!!!
He will then soon recognize, that he CAN'T MESS with the people, who MADE HIM and are able to DESTROY HIM just as well!!!!
^And I forgot; Don't you DARE buy this SHITTY COMIC!!!
Okay so, while this is clearly a self-righteous little way to see how many comments something so mundane and banal can conjure up, please KEEP IN MIND that after the first, oh, twenty or so, most people on here are talking to each other and the original post is long forgotten, yanno? That's what happens in any community.
So, OP, before you go congratulating yourself, whoever the hell you are, remember that: after the first few minutes, it's really not about you anymore.
And yes, Christopher Walken pretty much rules the entire world. He is my secret husband, did you know? So secret, even he doesn't know about it!
Funny how the things that make life routine, boring, and unspectacular are the things that remind YOU how truly unimportant and unmagnificent YOU truly are. You are the only one who needs reminding because 99% of the world has already figured that out. They are busy with the same inner struggle. People will come and go and some may even give 2 or 3 shits about you and try to convince you that you are so very special. You might even buy into it for a little while. But then reality will knock you off that pedastal and back down between the middle and rock bottom. Just make sure you watch the landing...it can be tricky and you can end up breaking your bones, your spirit, or your heart. (Good thing mine is all twisted and mangled already.) All we do is exist....spend our time here (most of us doing exactly what we want) and when that is over, we die. Alone and just as unspectacularly as we lived.
"You ain't special, so who ya foolin?"
P.S. Make sure you read the fine print!
I like this post. Whoever you are, this is the only one I've actually really liked. It's nice to be reminded we're all the same at the end of the day...or in your case, when we all wake up.
anon33
by the way, LoveMan is back...though I think he smoked a little something something this morning...
anon33
Hmmm.... If this is GW... and if he's having that kind of trouble with his plumbing at the tender young age of 30...
Dude, you need to get yourself to the doctor!
SDOCK10 - you are awesome! How I wish I could read your blog! I just love you!
morning wood, ain't it a bitch. your wife aught to take care of that for ya.
Gotta figure you're ahead of the game when you don't wake up dead.
Sdock10 once again captured it perfectly. Sucks to be Mayo, huh? As if anyone else has it any easier.
Me? I'm just getting my kicks before the entire shithouse goes up in flames.
PS - Do you really think we care about your 'morning anatomy'? Why does everything have to be about your dick?!?
I woke up and sat up in my bed. Another normal day of mine, read the newspaper, have a piss, write another mindless blog about Gerard, look at porn on the internet, admire my rather obese figure in the mirror, write more blogs about Gerard, have a wank.
P.S Sign the dotted line?
thanks.
are you suprised some dont care
mcr produced many bastard children and some of them are pissed they are not getting their piece of the pie
How the hell do you get so many comments on such a crappy blog?!
No offense, but that's amazing. :D
Dude,
If your dick wants to blog, create one specifically for him, savvy?
P. S. - Never, ever sign on the dotted line.
Turn your head and cough. That's all it will take!
Whoever this is, he or she didn't mention putting any deodorant on after the shower. EWW.
This is fun!
I woke up too late like I always do. The morning was really chilly for the first time of the season when I went out to the aviary. I let my dogs out, fed my hit-by-car bird and my crow, tried to clean myself up as much as possible while wearing an ambulatory heart-monitor. I couldn't get my bra off because of it the night before. Had some delish cereal with soy milk, brushed my teeth and then went to work in my shiny red car.
At work I spent my time cleaning up after sick animals, the best were two baby bats that had gotten stuck on fly paper, because I love bats. During work, I laughed along with my good friends most of the day. Then I left early for a Dr.'s appointment which only took a few stupid minutes, and when I got home, I was FINALLY able to shower.
I was and am happy during this time, as I am most of the time. This is because I have nothing to prove to society, I have no major hangups about my age or status, and mostly because I depend solely on myself for my amusement and merriment; anything or anyone else who comes along and makes me happier, that's fantastic. I don't need others to feed me emotionally, because I'm an adult who has learned to depend on her own heart and mind for fulfillment.
I recommend it. It's swell.
Kapunua said...
I was and am happy during this time, as I am most of the time. This is because I have nothing to prove to society, I have no major hangups about my age or status, and mostly because I depend solely on myself for my amusement and merriment; anything or anyone else who comes along and makes me happier, that's fantastic. I don't need others to feed me emotionally, because I'm an adult who has learned to depend on her own heart and mind for fulfillment.
Woah. You've become my hero for today. I really want to get to that point myself. It's hard but I try everyday. I think, Mayo and/or Gerard get too caught up in their lives to really accept others and their perspectives. I don't want to be like that. Want to be more open, laugh alot more, be happy.
Hey Mayo,
Isn't hard to laugh when you have so much self loathing? So much twisted, dismorphic visions of life, of yourself? I know, I know... maybe we should go bowling and smoke some Malboros outside in the alley. Have a beer or two-
Maybe not a beer.
^Thank you. ^_^ I almost regretted it once I wrote it because I don't want to seem all, "Oh, I'm better than people because I am able to be happy!" Because some people obviously can't help if they are battling their problems, you know? And I didn't mean it to come off like that.
What I should clear up is that, yeah, we all have issues that we deal with, I don't deny that I have a whole boatload. But the way to deal with them is to meet them head on, and bury your head in the sand in the form of hiding behind other people, or relying on others to validate or to "fix" your life.
That's really all I meant.
And in regards to The Umbrella Academy, I thought the parts I saw online were real cute actually. I'm not sure if I'd buy it but I can't say I'd boycott it either. OTOH I'm not sure I'd spend money to go see MCR play live again. In fact I know I won't because they are coming to the tri-state and I'm gonna skip it. I loved seeing their last show but there were too many things I found distracting: Gerard's "secret" messages and his ridiculous declarations of love when he could have been singing instead etc. It's just not worth the money to watch a grown man act like that.
Although the other guys did pretty much blow me away though; they were a joy to watch. It's a shame, the whole thing.
And there's no way in hell I'd see them while they were out with MSI, because I'd be resisting the urge to punch Jimmy Urine in his stupid vagina the entire time. It's been a while since a lyricist has made me want to vomit on his shoes. I'm a little surprised. But sexism and racism make my blood boil, and then when you tip over into child abuse, I tip past wanting to "punch" and then sort of losing my general "anti-violence" stance myself.
So yeah, given the choice I'd definitely skip those live shows.
^Err, rather, to NOT bury your head in the sand. Ugh, don't listen to me.
Mayo talks about his dick yet again, and everyone wanders off.
Sorry, Mayon-ass. No one is interested in the state of your crotch.
Mayonaise, noone wants to read that you have to say about your fucking dick.
Even if people like to watch Gerard handle and talk about his on stage.
We don't need another asshole with a 'god almighty' dick thanks.
It's Saturday. Two days since the last post. Have you showered again? Or will it be another 7 days you dirty boy?
You are all as pathetic as the blogger him(?)self!
Keep contributing, fools!!!
Pathetic, eh?
So, you're reason for reading all of this is ......what?
Observing pathetic behaviour!
Uh-huh. Again, your reason for being here?
That's what I thought. Pathetic.
Don't be upset. I'm only observing, not contributing in terms of responding to this blogger's posts.
That's unimportant crap!
You are mad at this G. Way?
Start ignoring him!!!
Hurts an attention whore the most!!!
And also the attention whore, who writes this blog!!!
Sorry to hear about you're miserable morning. It's now Saturday so I'm hoping that you're morning today was better, and you got to sleep in=]
I for one woke up to Famous Last Words on the radio, and now I'm about to go shopping and get some Starbucks, mmmm tall Double Chocolate Chip frap. thing=]
Have a good week whoever this is!
=]
This is the best blog ever, just for the comments. I could hardly give 2 shits about what Mayonaise has to say. The rest of you are much more important to me.
Kapunua and Blackheart13 -- you're both my heroes.
Being self suffient -- and being happy about it -- is hard at first. If you've been in relationships consistently over the years, then it's a big life change to start being alone. But once you get the hang of it, it's really great.
Most people my age are married and starting to have children. I'm single, and I love it. They sometimes treat me like I *need* to find someone. Once in a while, someone will mention this friend they know who would be perfect for me. But you know what? I'm really not interested. I don't need another person to be responsible for my happiness, to entertain me, to make plans for me, to look out for me. I really enjoy being my own person without a co-dependent relationship to hold me back. This is the happiest I've ever been.
But don't get me wrong... someday I think it would be wonderful to settle down with the "right person" for a lifelong committed relationship. I would love that. But I'm not just going to jump into a marriage with the first person who accepts the offer (unlike a certain man we all know).
The person that I marry will have to earn his way with me, and I with him. I won't marry out of lonliness, financial need, or convenience. I'm not lonely, I take care of myself financially, and it's much more convenient being on my own.
I want to marry someone that I know and love as my best friend. Not someone I've only known for 4 months who I'm infatuated with at the moment. Is that really even love?
Anyway... I'm just blathering now, but you all know what I mean, right?
If you're afraid to be alone or afraid to take care of yourself without someone else's help, then the best way to overcome that is to BE alone and take care of YOURSELF without someone else's help. It's hard! But once you're able to do it, it doesn't seem bad at all. It feels great! It makes you stronger. When you do find another person you truly want to be with, it makes you appreciate that person even more.
Hiding behind a relationship to cover up your fear of lonliness is cowardly. Although I know a lot of people who do it.
I really believe that you have to happy with yourself, as you are in the state of being alone, before you can ever truly be happy with another person.
Okay, I don't know how many of you have viewed the marriage certificate and license, but that is no way legit. Did you see the signature? There were no X's or O's! WTF??? Can't be Gerard! And who the hell is Lindsey Ballato? I thought he married Lyn-Z. She signs like a drunk man.
Relax people. Boring Saturday. Just lightening the mood a bit.
And remember Mayo, no matter how bad your morning starts, never ever skip breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day.
Mayo, do you like peanut butter on your toast? You should try it. What's really good, is toast with peanut butter and bananas. That is superb. The breakfast of champions. Was is hard pulling those words out of your ass? Cause they come pretty easy to me.
Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy.
Anony 1,001,002 -
I too saw that license. I was just kind of wondering, isn't it like illegal for someone to sign a legal document while their under the influence of satan??? No drops of blood either.
Not a binding contract. Call Ronnie Deutsch at 1-800-LAW-HELP. She'll help you out Gee.
XOXO
I love that under the influence of Satan. That explains a lot.
Yeah, guess I could ask if sdock10 officiated the ceremony.
X X
___
*yawn* I woke up about 20 minutes ago,
Smoke&Venom20, please tell me Sdock10 isn't that ugly!!!
Love the lemon squeezy part, maybe I'll run around saying motherfucker all day.
Or not. Hey, I know what I'll do!
I'll get married to that dude from the car park last week with the nice ass! Pictures to follow!
Nah, on second thought, that shot of crack I've been saving makes more sense.
smoke&venom20 have you thought of adding honey to the peanut butter and banana - you should. I just had some, extra scrummy.
andrea said...
This is the best blog ever, just for the comments. I could hardly give 2 shits about what Mayonaise has to say. The rest of you are much more important to me.
Kapunua and Blackheart13 -- you're both my heroes.
Being self suffient -- and being happy about it -- is hard at first. If you've been in relationships consistently over the years, then it's a big life change to start being alone. But once you get the hang of it, it's really great.
Most people my age are married and starting to have children. I'm single, and I love it. They sometimes treat me like I *need* to find someone. Once in a while, someone will mention this friend they know who would be perfect for me. But you know what? I'm really not interested. I don't need another person to be responsible for my happiness, to entertain me, to make plans for me, to look out for me. I really enjoy being my own person without a co-dependent relationship to hold me back. This is the happiest I've ever been.
But don't get me wrong... someday I think it would be wonderful to settle down with the "right person" for a lifelong committed relationship. I would love that. But I'm not just going to jump into a marriage with the first person who accepts the offer (unlike a certain man we all know).
The person that I marry will have to earn his way with me, and I with him. I won't marry out of lonliness, financial need, or convenience. I'm not lonely, I take care of myself financially, and it's much more convenient being on my own.
I want to marry someone that I know and love as my best friend. Not someone I've only known for 4 months who I'm infatuated with at the moment. Is that really even love?
Anyway... I'm just blathering now, but you all know what I mean, right?
If you're afraid to be alone or afraid to take care of yourself without someone else's help, then the best way to overcome that is to BE alone and take care of YOURSELF without someone else's help. It's hard! But once you're able to do it, it doesn't seem bad at all. It feels great! It makes you stronger. When you do find another person you truly want to be with, it makes you appreciate that person even more.
Hiding behind a relationship to cover up your fear of lonliness is cowardly. Although I know a lot of people who do it.
I really believe that you have to happy with yourself, as you are in the state of being alone, before you can ever truly be happy with another person.
Thanks for the love.
And can I get an AMEN for you post.
I try to remind myself of what you've said everyday, that I'm better off on my own than being with someone for convenience. I admit... I'm a little lonely (violin music please). I know why I come to this blog everyday, it's just to express myself and be amongst people who may or may not have a similar outlook on things, plus I get some laughs from Mayo's delusions of grandeur. Anyway, your post was lovely.
AMEN
blackheart13, PLEASE do not re-post people's long ass messages, it's pointless. Just say "in response to" and move on.
alright. I'm bored. Where the hell did Tinky-Winky go? Did she leave us again?
Tinky's trying to come up with more stories...
Damn. That irks me. Post something and then disappear for a couple of days. So not cool.
You too, Mayo.
On the off chance that this is Gerard, read on. If not, ignore. Have another cup of coffee.
So the monster you created has broken free of its chains. You have two choices now. Tame it or let it devour the 5 of you. And I do mean the 5. I don't believe any of you were prepared for the level of fame, adoration, bullshit, (sign this, smile this way, you are my hero, one more interview, give me a piece of your soul for a souviner etc.) But there are some out there who do give two shits about the PEOPLE in the band, not the hype and hero shit.
Other bands have gone through this. Look at U2. The early 90's were a make or break for them. They got tired of saving the world, so they said "Fuck it, we're going to do what we want" and piss on the message, and yes, even the fans. Drugs got involved, fights, and the entire band nearly self-destructed. They stuck it out, found the balance within them. They also have a manager who belives in them, loves them and fights for them. And I'm sorry, but I have never gotten a good feeling off Brian. I think he would sell the 5 of you up a river without the paddle if there was enough in it for him. I may be wrong, but that is just my feeling.
Glorify or crucify. That's all it seems you guys have had since The Black Parade came out. And don't think that "haunted ass house" didn't have something to do with it. The monster took form there, and grew out of control.
On an end note, you will remember this quote. Well, today it goes to you.
"You may stop believing in us, but we will never stop believing in you."
Stay on the ride.
"You may stop believing in us, but we will never stop believing in you."
That was bullshit from the first. WHy the hell would a band believe in people they have never met? It was a glurgey soundbite meant to be repeated to 13 year olds who want to believe that MCR is more than just a band. Because they wanted to be more than just a band, because it would sell more records etc.
But lately their true colors are showing. However that's probably a good thing.
Yeah right, like you're ACTUALLY gerard.
Gaaaah these people piss me off so much.
Smoke&Venom20...I nor the Prince of Darkness officiated that ceremony. Just like the rest of us, he wasn't invited. He was quite pissed too seeing as how close and personal he got with Gerard during the making of TBP. He thought about crashing the service but even the devil has standards.
Anyone up for a night at the Paramour?
P.S. How is the throat feeling these days?
As far as I am concerned, I give more than four shits about you.
Not a binding contract. Call Ronnie Deutsch at 1-800-LAW-HELP. She'll help you out Gee.
Did I actually say that???
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