Here's to the literal definition of obvious.

I woke up too late, rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. Tried to piss but, as usual, my morning anatomy wouldn’t allow the release. Fifteen minutes, a cigarette, and a cup of coffee later, and I was free flowing. My shower was too hot and the pressure was too low. Using a white cotton hotel towel I dried myself off. I pulled my pants on one leg at a time, and then pulled my t-shirt over my head. Breakfast consisted of dry toast, a banana, and two more cups of coffee. I spent the rest of my day pulling words out of my ass for fuckers who could really give two shits.

p.s. sign it on the dotted line.