I am certain that when I die I will become dirt. It would be nice to consider that upon my death golden open arms will greet me, enfolding me into them like a lost child finally returned home, but that’s not how I think. Never has been. It is completely incomprehensible for me to consider that once my life is over I will hang out watching the goings on down at earth while white silk draped, halo wearing, beings circle my head before diving down to intervene in someone or another’s life.
But, I can see the appeal.
And I am relatively certain I won’t burn in eternal damnation, either. Although that option is better suited to my personality and preferential if in fact my theory fails.
What motivates me is here and now...in what I intend as a reciprocal exchange.
This reminds me to ask myself “why am I even here?” I suppose one purpose is to procreate, to replenish human stock while in turn passing on my unique, somewhat maladaptive, genetic map to ensure the future of our type. But, at our current population rate, I do not see human extinction as a concern (that is not to say we won’t run out of natural resources thereby resulting in human extinction through overpopulation). So, as many population experts suggest, I will only replace myself. Although, it was never something I gave much thought.
So, why then? I have no other and a million ideas.
And, I do have considerations beyond the here and now; I get a kick out of the prospect that my progeny might proffer our future world. That, and who will take care of me when I can no longer find my ass?
I hope that I am doing a good job, that all my experience, everything that I have to give, and all that I create proves worthy beyond my own value. I want there to be some “take-away” meaning from how I live. And when I die the only “place” I want to spend eternity is ardently recalled in the generous conversation of my family and friends.
p.s. prosperous just like him.
Friday, August 28, 2009
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4,742 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3201 – 3400 of 4742 Newer› Newest»Tell her not to worry, I'm sure she would be beautiful even if she was drenched head to toe.
How's work today?
So far it's been busy. I'm kinda bummed because someone just bought a book I was going to read. Damn.
Maybe you should have asked them "Can I borrow that when you're through?" Might have been worth it just to see their reaction.
You have to post the pics you take tonight. I'm sure she is really excited.
*asking as a customer*
"By the way, Miss, do you have any Uncanny X-Men Comics in the late 400's-now range?"
I have told customers in the past that they must submit book reports when they are done. I really get some weird looks for that.
Oh and I'm checking my X-Men for you but so far no luck.
*drags herself in feeling feverish, weak and drained*
POOP! I iz sick and I wanted to go to the HOB tonight. Well, maybe my fever will be gone by then. It could happen!
Good morning/afternoon/night Mayo, SS, L (and J), Elena, Amy, Martha, Sweetcheeks, Ergo, bitter and non bitter anonymous loons of any color, shape, size, age and status (certifable or not)!
How are you all today? Good, I hope!
L: I'm so glad you shared your thoughts with us. Who could possibly blame you for being a little scared? I mean, you not only knocked on heaven's door; heaven's door was opened and you had one foot ~ and the 5 toes on the other foot ~ across that threshold!
*huge hug*
You just keep taking those meds and going to the doctor as much as you need to clear up any infection. We don't want THAT happening again!
Elena: Thanks for posting Stormy's picture!!! They did a great job with the float!!! I hope she (and her hair) has a wonderful time at the homecoming dance tonight!
Sweetcheeks: I know! I forgot. I'm sorry!!! It's on it's way soon!
Martha: Loved the jokes!!!!!
*does a happy dance for AMY's victory via J*
Have a great day, everyone!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Hi PJ, CTV, Entropy, AIP, Mel, Andrea and Em!!!!
Hey Wendy
I'll tell Stormy you liked the float. They had a lot of fun making it.
Hope you feel better soon.
I can see it now, Elena.
"I want an outline and a full oral report by Tuesday!"
Thanks for checking. I have up to #468, working on the rest.
Hey, Wendy. I'm sorry you feel sick. Seems like the weather change is getting everyone. J. says she iz sorry you haz a sick.
Thanks for what you said. I try to push back any fears, but sometimes it comes through. It was only after I talked to the nurse from that night in the ICU and my family that I realized just how close I came, and it was pretty damn close.
The nurse said they pulled a crash cart in the room, and were basically waiting. She couldn't reach the doctor, and then took it on herself to give me a massive dose of cortizone, morphine and some other med. She had lost another patient the week before to septis shock and she said she kept saying "I won't lose this one! I won't lose her!" She told me amount of meds she gave me could have killed me right then, but it was a make or break, that I wasn't going to make it anyway if they didn't try something.
Thanks Elena!!! I just took some Tylenol and hopefully that will help.
Tell Stormy I think she might have a future at Blaine Kern's Studios in New Orleans!!!
Mardi Gras World ~ Blaine Kern Studios
Are you working today or did you take Saturday off?
I'm at work, Wendy. Actually I just had a really nice man buy some Star Wars books but damn, he carried on a conversation with himself the whole time he was in here. At first I thought maybe he was on the phone or had a Bluetooth but nope, he was just chatting with himself.
Stormy really did love working on that float so maybe that would be a good place for her.
I just got a call from her and she's all upset. Seems while working on the float they got some paint spilled and she went to Wal-Mart to buy paint thinner but they wouldn't see it to her because she's not 18.
"I won't lose her!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were saying that too, L!!! We know what a fighter you are and how strong your spirit is! Thank goodness that nurse took the chance with those meds. Like you said; what choice did she really have. Giving you that shot could have killed you; but, doing nothing....
well, you might not be here today.
And I, for one (and I know many others), are very happy you are here!
*huge hug again*
Thank you and J (give her a hug too, please) for the feel better wishes.
I hope she feels better too!
I think I'm going to go lie down. Can anyone get their hands on some of that True Blood V Juice? I think I might need it!
:P
Have fun L and Elena!!! I'll talk to you ladies later, I hope!
*blows sad and weak (but hot and feverish) kisses*
Thanks, Wendy. Take care of yourself and get some rest.
Elena, I didn't know Wal-Mart won't sell you paint thinner unless you are 18. Anyone to go with her?
I'm going to head off too.
Everyone have a good day, and I'll talk to you later.
Love,
L.
*runs back in to say*
Huh? You have be 18 to buy paint thinner now??? When the hell did that happen???!!! Good Grief!
I hope they get the mess cleaned up somehow, Elena! Did she ask you to go run to Wal~Mart and pick up that paint cleaner and bring it to her? I know my niece would have! LOL!
Okay, feeling extra wooozy now. Going lie down!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Yeah. Silent Bob, your a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.
....everything that irritates you about others, is your key to understanding yourself.....
What angers you in another person is an unhealed aspect of yourself. If you had already resolved that particular issue, you would not be irritated by its reflection back to you.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.-- Mahatma Gandhi
Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.
Huh? You have be 18 to buy paint thinner now??? When the hell did that happen???!!! Good Grief!
------------------------------------
I haven't heard of that either, but I'm not surprised. There's household items where kids can use and inhale in order to get high. It doesn't necessarily have to be drugs anymore.
On a lighter note, I hope you get well soon sugarplum *blows kisses*
Big hello to anyone else here. Have a great weekend.
good morning! what a weekend! I am going to be stuffed by monday. Hi L wendy BC elena. Hope the homecoming is great. (we don't do anything like that here) hey Mayo! Hi SS! I have so much to tell you about when I get the time tomorrow. Hope everyone is well. Love y'all
Nothing like a long stream of dirty jokes to liven a day up!
Hello everyone! I've been arse deep in cleaning supplies since this morning, and the skin's beginning to peel from my fingers so I needed a break.
Hey Ergo, BC and Amy
Holy crap is Stormy nervous about this dance. She asked me over and over if I'm sure she looks okay. Heck, I think she looks beautiful.
Hey Elena!
Is it her prom already?
Nope it's the Homecoming Dance. Afterwards they are all going cosmic bowling. Man, we never did anything like that after our dances.
We don't even have Homecoming here Elena. We have a Winter Carnival Ball, but that's about it.
Cosmic Bowling huh? Is that like Blacklight Bowling?
Here the three main dances are Homecoming, Courtwarming and Prom.
Cosmic bowling is like blacklight bowling.
The hubby just sent me a pic of a new book he thought I'd like....
LOL
Rorschach Christmas
LOL!!
You know, that would go nicely with my copy of "Horton Hires a Ho!"
I'll be back later guys! Gotta go watch the rice, and turn the computer over to Dad for a bit.
See ya later Amy.
Mayo
Tonight was bittersweet for me. The last Homecoming game one of my girls will attend. As I was driving home from my mom’s I remembered all the previous Homecoming dances and well…Nope I’m not going there. Far be it from me to sit here and be whining or whinging as an anon as nicely pointed out that I so often do.
No wait. I’m totally lying to you Mayo. I really don’t give a rat’s ass what that anon said about me. I’m sure I do come off like that a lot. (and let me just point out I wonder how that person would react if they were in my situation) but then I’ll never know and they won’t either unless they have children. They won’t understand how hard it is to watch them grow up and grow further away each day. Oh well.
The truth of the matter is I just don’t want to talk about this with you. In some strange way that makes me sad. I’ve shared so much of my life with you, my feelings and thoughts that it seems sorta wrong not to share this. But the simple truth is I don’t want to share this with anyone tonight. It’s like this sadness is something I accept and want to keep in a private little spot in my heart. Almost like I’ve earned it. LOL. And believe me you do earn the right to claim every damn emotion you feel as your children grow. You earn the fear that clutches your heart at 2 am when they’re babies and have a fever that you can’t seem to break. You earn the anger you feel the first time one of them comes home from school crying because someone called them a name on the playground. You earn the regret you feel remembering a time you didn’t stop what you were doing to look at a picture they drew for you. But you also earn the happiness that fills your heart the first time they tell you they love you. And you earn the pride you feel seeing them grow into remarkable young people. I have earned each and every one of those feelings. They are mine. And Mayo, over the past two years I’ve shared a hell of a lot of those feelings with you. You didn’t earn them Mayo, I simply gave them to you. I simply wanted to share them with you. And I’ll go on sharing with you as long as you allow. But not tonight. Tonight what I feel is only mine.
Take care and have a beautiful tomorrow.
Oh but I did want to share this
Stormy and her date
Night Mayo
Elena
Good Night
A story for Mayo & BB
*pulls out book - spreads blanket over knees - takes sip of warm ovaltine - puts on glasses*
The Haunter Of The Dark
by -- H.P. Lovecraft
I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim,
Where they roll in their horror unheeded,
Without knowledge or lustre or name.
Cautious investigators will hesitate to challenge the common belief that Robert Blake was killed by lightning, or by some profound nervous shock derived from an electrical discharge. It is true that the window he faced was unbroken, but nature has shown herself capable of many freakish performances. The expression on his face may easily have arisen from some obscure muscular source unrelated to anything he saw, while the entries in his diary are clearly the result of a fantastic imagination aroused by certain local superstitions and by certain old matters he had uncovered. As for the anomalous conditions at the deserted church of Federal Hill- the shrewd analyst is not slow in attributing them to some charlatanry, conscious or unconscious, with at least some of which Blake was secretly connected.
For after all, the victim was a writer and painter wholly devoted to the field of myth, dream, terror, and superstition, and avid in his quest for scenes and effects of a bizarre, spectral sort. His earlier stay in the city -a visit to a strange old man as deeply given to occult and forbidden lore as he- had ended amidst death and flame, and it must have been some morbid instinct which drew him back from his home in Milwaukee. He may have known of the old stories despite his statements to the contrary in the diary, and his death may have nipped in the bud some stupendous hoax destined to have a literary reflection.
Among those, however, who have examined and correlated all this evidence, there remain several who cling to less rational and commonplace theories. They are inclined to take much of Blake's diary at its face value, and point significantly to certain facts such as the undoubted genuineness of the old church record, the verified existence of the disliked and unorthodox Starry Wisdom sect prior to 1877, the recorded disappearance of an inquisitive reporter named Edwin M. Lillibridge in 1893, and- above all- the look of monstrous, transfiguring fear on the face of the young writer when he died. It was one of these believers who, moved to fanatical extremes, threw into the bay the curiously angled stone and its strangely adorned metal box found in the old church steeple- the black windowless steeple, and not the tower where Blake's diary said those things originally were. Though widely censured both officially and unofficially, this man- a reputable physician with a taste for odd folklore- averred that he had rid the earth of something too dangerous to rest upon it.
Between these two schools of opinion the reader must judge for himself. The papers have given the tangible details from a sceptical angle, leaving for others the drawing of the picture as Robert Blake saw it- or thought he saw it- or pretended to see it. Now studying the diary closely, dispassionately, and at leisure, let us summarize the dark chain of events from the expressed point of view of their chief actor.
Young Blake returned to Providence in the winter of 1934-5, taking the upper floor of a venerable dwelling in a grassy court off College Street- on the crest of the great eastward hill near the Brown University campus and behind the marble John Hay Library. It was a cosy and fascinating place, in a little garden oasis of village-like antiquity where huge, friendly cats sunned themselves atop a convenient shed. The square Georgian house had a monitor roof, classic doorway with fan carving, small-paned windows, and all the other earmarks of early nineteenth century workmanship. Inside were six-panelled doors, wide floor-boards, a curving colonial staircase, white Adam-period mantels, and a rear set of rooms three steps below the general level.
Blake's study, a large southwest chamber, overlooked the front garden on one side, while its west windows- before one of which he had his desk- faced off from the brow of the hill and commanded a splendid view of the lower town's outspread roofs and of the mystical sunsets that flamed behind them. On the far horizon were the open countryside's purple slopes. Against these, some two miles away, rose the spectral hump of Federal Hill, bristling with huddled roofs and steeples whose remote outlines wavered mysteriously, taking fantastic forms as the smoke of the city swirled up and enmeshed them. Blake had a curious sense that he was looking upon some unknown, ethereal world which might or might not vanish in dream if ever he tried to seek it out and enter it in person.
Having sent home for most of his books, Blake bought some antique furniture suitable for his quarters and settled down to write and paint- living alone, and attending to the simple housework himself. His studio was in a north attic room, where the panes of the monitor roof furnished admirable lighting. During that first winter he produced five of his best-known short stories- The Burrower Beneath, The Stairs in the Crypt, Shaggai, In the Vale of Pnath, and The Feaster from the Stars- and painted seven canvases; studies of nameless, unhuman monsters, and profoundly alien, non-terrestrial landscapes.
to be contd
i love momma
An old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, "I want to open a fucking checking account."
The astonished woman replied," I beg your pardon sir, I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up dammit , I want to open up a fucking checking account now."
" I am very sorry sir but that kind of language is not tolerated ."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manger to inform him of the situation. The manger agrees that the teller doesn't have to listen to that foul language. They both return to the window and the manger asks the old guy.
" Sir what seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man says, " I just won 200 million dollars in the fucking lottery and I want to put my fucking money in the damn bank."
"I see," said the manger, " and is this cunt giving you a hard time?"
And then Mya read about it on the internet and wrote to the bank manager, getting the teller fired.
Maybe the teller shouldn't have been a bitch and a whiner.
It's not my time, I'm not going
There's a fear in me, it's not showing
This could be the end of me
And everything I know
But it's not my time, I'm not going
There's a will in me and now I know that
This could be the end of me
And everything I know, ooh, but I won't go!
I won't go!
i hate when i do that. ^.~
blogger is being odd this morning :/
baby baby baby
Try the veal!!
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Hey Dotty, giz a break mun!
I'm aving a bit of a meltdown here.
Anyone got tips on dealing with panic attacks?
Ta
hey Welshie, calm breathing
take care, hope you're ok I'm off to bed
Good Morning
Good to see ya Welshie. Sleep well Ergo
Lots of work to do today but hopefully we will be able to sneak a bike ride in this afternoon.
Hope everyone has a great day.
oh wow, people STILL post here!?
You alright there, Welshie? It's probably a little late, but first just try breathing deeply and slowly. Think of something that makes you smile.
Is this in anyway related to the aforementioned 2 weeks of work?
^
Oops. That was me. =)
good morning
hiya PP, hope you feel better Welshie
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Hey PP it's really nice to see you drop in.
Sadly no ride today. (Mr E has a messed up arm that prevented it)
But the sun was bright, the temp just perfect.
A wonderful day complete with a caramel apple.
What a week. What a bloody week!
PP, some of the stress is indeed work related. There's talk of redundancies:(
I also had to go to my aunt's funeral in South Wales, and to cap it all I had a nasty allergic reaction to a new mascara. Just my bloody luck. Had to get some eye drops from the Dr.
Seriously my eyes have been driving me bloody mental!
My ex who I still care deeply about walks back into my life only to walk out again. Stop messing me about man!
And then, and then right, this morning as I was sat in me chair, trying to stay calm, doing my breathing exercises, I got a phone call. My eldest sister had been rushed to hospital. Holy crap. Gimme a break. Keep breathing. Keep breathing!
Thankfully she's gonna be ok.
*sigh* I've been thinking, Why me? Why do bad things always happen to me? I'm not a bad person.
Then I thought, Well why not me? If it wasn't me then it would be someone else having crap thrown at them all the time. I can take it. I'm stronger than I think. Bring it on. Watch me fight!
I feel better now thanks Ergo. Listen I've had a drop too much to drink. I'm babbling. I thought a drink or two, or three would help me sleep. We shall see.
Goodnight:)
Welshie
Hope things get better for ya soon. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Remember tomorrow is another day, another chance for things to get better.
What a week welshie! never use that mascara again, maybe you could get your lashes tinted? Assuming it won't react with your eyes.
Good your sis will be ok, that's really scary.
Hope MrE's arm is better soon, but still great you had a lovely caramel applely day!
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