Saturday, May 9, 2009

At the Home

I hate to see you
When you're falling apart
Can't you start over, again?

Elizabeth crumbles
Alone in her chair
Keeps her windows shut
To keep out the air

Elizabeth crumbles
Alone in her bed
Spends all her pastime
Mulled in her dread

What keeps her living
Is her fear of being
Anywhere other than here
So they’ll feed her too much
Or it’s never enough,
Then it's fuck you
“Get the hell out of here!"

Elizabeth stumbles
Over everything I've said
Pining words are useless
Pushed round in her head

The mystery was my bravery
I never knew what I'd get
Will it be her fear or regret?
Her confusion my denial?
Walked her shoes a while
Now she can’t turn back
So she said then she’ll stay
And I will walk away

Elizabeth mumbles
Over and over my name
Forgetting tomorrow
Will never be the same

She’s repeating her beating
Did you bring her a drink?
Why are you leaving?
What the hell do you think?
That she’ll fuck you
To get the hell out of here

Elizabeth tumbles
Out onto the floor
With an abandon of reason
It is herself abhorred

She sat alone in her room
Pouring over her gloom
Never got out of her chair
And they don't even care
Now that they’ve all receded
Into the ground or fleeted
To the wormholes
And woodwork back there

You'll find repair
Where that memory
Becomes illusory

Look, again?



p.s. in the end it is what you think you will get.

6,531 comments:

1 – 200 of 6531   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

I see what you did there. Very clever.

elena said...

Hello Mayo

I really want to give this one some thought. Wish I had the time now but I don't. I'm being pulled in so many directions.

Good to see you. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Take your time, Elena.

It will be worth the wait.

elena said...

Well thank you anon. Have a nice day.

(my mom is standing across the room waiting for me)

Gotta go. Bye

Anonymous said...

Lol.

Anonymous said...

I don't get it, who is Elizabeth?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bumping Bitch to the other post. Mayo I appreciate it and you. Very CLEVER.

Bitch, in case you didn't notice, WENDY wrote some of her own poetry last night. But I guess in your head only yours counts. Bitch. Whatever.

Anonymous said...

I C wut U did thurr Mayo.

Thank you for sticking up for what is right.

The poetry never left. It is wrong to say that all the good poets were chased out.

It is wrong to say that they are NEEDED here or that there is only one good writer.

That is totally WRONG. I don't care what your opinion is, it is just wrong to think that way. (Not you Mayo. Talking about them).

All Amyranth and the others did was to say their opinion. That OPINION was that the poetry that certain people were doing was being used to derail conversations that were going on. To HURT people.

There is still poetry here. It doesn't have to be from one group of people.

Thank you for proving these intentions.

Anonymous said...

mayo didn't bump kapu. this was posted at 3:00. it's not mayo's fault you all took so long to notice the new post.

Anonymous said...

Obviously SHE didn't notice it either so don't try to make it seem like it was just me.

Anonymous said...

Besides, it still goes back to what was being said last night. There is still poetry here. It doesn't need to come from only one small group. That is insulting to everyone else. To say that the poetry is gone. Makes it seem like you are saying that it is only good if it comes form one person.

When in reality those poems were used to hurt others. Might I remind you of the one on the porch with everyone making fun of Amyranth's pain.

farawaysoclose said...

Mayo has this odd thing where he posts a blog at a certain time and no fucker sees it for maybe two hours.

i don't know how he does this, but he fucking does.

hi Mayo. hope you are doing OK? i am still thinking about this one. so far i've turned an 80 year old into a 20/30 year old??!

but i'm often way off the mark!

KOL anons, you rule with your links and stuff! have the best time at your gig coming up!

hello to everybody!

i aint getting into a convo re poetry, it is kind of ridiculous/ pointless etc.

shit, has anyone ever seen "Superhero Movie?" Jesus it's fucking crazy shit! very funny! i'm watching it right at this moment.

hi Elena, long time no speak!! hope you are good?

right, and hi to SS, hope you are doing good?

oh and did anyone notice that all profile views are frozen on a number, an even number, an even number rounded up to a 100? weird?!

Ok gotta go.

play nice everyone.

Anonymous said...

"Obviously SHE didn't notice it either so don't try to make it seem like it was just me."I didn't. I was including her in my comment; that's why I said you all.

Anonymous said...

The point is, Mayo did not bump Kapu. The anon claiming that he did needs to get their facts straight before they start making wild accusations about what Mayo did or did not do. They are just making themselves look stupid.

miranth said...

Hi FASC!!!

I will repeat the 'play nice everyone' sentiment because I venture to guess it needs to be repeated!

Wow, do some anons spend all day thinking of the crudest way to stir crap? Sometimes I wonder...

Thank goddess I have a short and imperfect attention span!

Mayo - The post reminds me of some of the people of whom I help take care.

Those that I know are often very quiet and I am forced to wonder what thoughts tremble on their tongues, but fear and frailty silence.

Maybe that is not the meaning of your post (for you), but as I have many elderly aunts and uncles (and Mom), that the thought that crossed my mind.

Anyway, on a happier note,

Have a Happy Mother's Day tomorrow everyone!

*arranges flowers on the credenza*

Anonymous said...

If the poetry never left then why does Mayo say he misses the poetry?

miranth said...

Poetry is all good anon.*

*Except if the SAME poem is posted over and over and over... again - within moments of the last time.

But then again, my subtlety lacks finesse, as well.

:D LOL

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Weaver Girl said...

To quiet reaches of the web
to farthest corners scattered
the mirror crack'd from side to side?
the mirror's long since shattered.

though swept outside the pantry door
with eight legs much maligned
I lurk in shadows, heard the call
above the black unsigned

against the common sentiment,
against stampeding herds
you called and I return upon
a a network built of words

through devastation of my webs,
and dragging of my sleeves
I bow to you, who know the truth:
that I am She Who Weaves.

May 9, 2009 3:42 PM

Anonymous Weaver Girl said...

For the sisters who asked,
I write this in haste!
I was unsure at first,
but you guys have got taste.

a player, a cardshark
a creole aesthetic,
with a big phallic staff,
and quite fiercely kinetic.

I went there to see
Wolverine's many graces
but left with the knowledge
that Gambit was ACES!



May 9, 2009 4:14 PM
Anonymous ? said...

Your hands are so human,
Their youth and chill astound me to the floor.
I go not by force but to see the light from that angle
and I hide my imperfect smile behind my hand,
avert my close-set eyes -
A thousand other females before me.

Then why do you tilt your head when I talk?
Why are you always seated,
green eyes to the sky?
For this trickster has seen much:
while you were jumping off bridges
I was following the blackest tunnel
to the center of the Earth,
three tails visible in the dark.

I simply have to learn the secrets of my race.
I will hold this pearl of light in my mouth.
You must encounter me alone, at dusk;
Or I will bring rice to you in the name of a god.

If I lead you into murky waters,
will you follow out of desire?
If I never look over my shoulder
my lord, will you follow my fire?

May 9, 2009 4:22 PM

Anonymous said...

Like the poem about nutella that the porkies were so desperate for SS to see? That was posted by all them over and over again. They hounded him until they made sure he saw it.

Anonymous said...

I want to say I like these poems. And agree Gambit was hot.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like the poem about nutella that the porkies were so desperate for SS to see? That was posted by all them over and over again. They hounded him until they made sure he saw it.

May 9, 2009 5:29 PM
And like the reposting of those poems!!

GOOD CALL MIRANTH

Anonymous said...

If you like Gambit you should see original Gambit.

Anonymous said...

But it was ok for amy's 'fix' to get posted over and over? I think the rules of the fix might actually have been posted more often than the poetry!

Anonymous said...

Amyranth herself asked people to STOP posting her Fix and her Guidelines.

Anonymous said...

ALSO. The Fix wasn't for attention. The Fix and the Guidelines were to try to help the Blog. TO help others.

Whereas the poetry was meant to hurt the people who didn't want it.

Anonymous said...

After all this time I still fail to see how poetry, on a poet's blog, was hurting people.

miranth said...

Thanks anon. I am guilty of reposting something myself.

I did try to post it on a different page each time and I was very pissed off or I would have thought better of it.

*shrugs* what are you gonna do.

The thing is we share this place with lots and lots of different people and it is incumbent upon us to be respectful of others, regardless of out differences.

And 5:32 anon, I agree that the rules were posted way too many times, but I HIGHLY doubt that was by the same person, number one, and stealing words from someone's blog and posting it here is rude beyond belief!

To say that I was appalled by that is to understate the case.

All that said, I have to meet someone so I must go.


PS - WAIT! WHAT!

Big phallic staff?!? How did I miss that. :)

Must get my eyes checked. ;)


I do love my Hugh Jackman!

Anonymous said...

Oh that's right, it was an 'anon' who posted the fix over and over. It wasn't amy as an anon. Of course not. Amy would never post it as an anon and then ask the anon to stop posting it to make herself look better in front of Mayo and SS.

Anonymous said...

Then you obviously "forgot" about the poem on the porch that specifically made fun of her by turning her words "beyond pathetic" into "beyond poetic".

If that wasn't intended to hurt her, to laugh at what she said about them, then what was it?

Anonymous said...

I got bad news for some of you people here.

Anyone can post whatever, whenever they want.

Its obvious the host of this blog likes it that way...so that's the way it is.

You write a poem...you like it...you want it seen here....post it!!

I'm sure they enjoy reading it.

Some others that come here enjoy reading them also!

miranth said...

oops *our

Kinda changes the meaning.

Anonymous said...

No... you re right, Amy wouldn't. She is actually above doing things like that. Which you people would NOT understand.

Anonymous said...

"
Anyone can post whatever, whenever they want."



But it was obviously TOO MUCH to ask them to be polite and just not post it around certain people who they knew hated it.

Yes they were ALLOWED to post poetry. But did they HAVE to? No. And they did it anyway, specifically knowing that Amyranth was upset by it.

I remember that even more poetry was posted even after The Fix.

Also.... see that poem on the porch I was telling you about. "Beyond poetic".

Anonymous said...

"Anyone can post whatever, whenever they want."

But I guess that doesn't apply to people like MJ who posted her OPINION on Kapunua's reaction toward her grandmother's death.

Or Wendy.

or the OPs.

I guess only people YOU like are "allowed" to post what they want.... without being turned into a villian.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Then you obviously "forgot" about the poem on the porch that specifically made fun of her by turning her words "beyond pathetic" into "beyond poetic".

If that wasn't intended to hurt her, to laugh at what she said about them, then what was it?


Are you trying to say that Amy's initial taunts of 'beyond pathetic' were NOT intended to hurt Kapu and her friends? All Kapu did was turn a nasty insult into something witty and lighthearted. When someone is bullying you and calling you beyond pathetic, it is better to laugh about it than let the bully win by crying and getting hurt about it. I applaud Kapu for the way she handles herself.

Anonymous said...

what's a villian?

Anonymous said...

I don't think Amyranth intended to hurt. I think she was trying to prove a point and teach some lessens. No one was listening to her. Do you know how frustrating that is?

Anonymous said...

It wasn't just "beyond poetic" either, she made fun of the Fix too.

Anonymous said...

hmmm, i think vv's must be missing some idiots...

Anonymous said...

Yes they were ALLOWED to post poetry. But did they HAVE to?

Do you know how stupid that makes you sound?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I don't think Amyranth intended to hurt. I think she was trying to prove a point and teach some lessens. No one was listening to her. Do you know how frustrating that is?

No one was listening to her huh? Maybe that should have told her something.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, lessens, please teach us, Anon.

Anonymous said...

Not even Mayo listened to her. In the end it was Mayo that taught her a lesson.

Anonymous said...

No, it does not sound stupid. They were asked politely to stop doing it so much. To stop doing it to derail conversations. They didn't stop so steps had to be taken.

Now. Thinking about what happened today.

Kapunua acting like she's the only one here "worthy" of writing something. Wendy wrote some poems herself. Didn't she even notice that? I guess they aren't GOOD enough for her.

Anonymous said...

"Ooooh, lessens, please teach us, Anon."


No because you never learn. The lesson is in being polite. Is that too much to ask? I guess it is.

Anonymous said...

We know Mayo likes Kapu's poems.

Anonymous said...

Are you trying to say that Amy's initial taunts of 'beyond pathetic' were NOT intended to hurt Kapu and her friends?

still waiting for an answer. doesn't sound like amy was being very polite.

Anonymous said...

But he never said he liked them played on REPEAT. He never said he liked them when used to interrupt Amy's and other peoples conversations, which they were.

No one minds a little poetry. Didn't you notice last night when TJ, Wendy and many others including anons were posting poetry?

But the way they went about it was wrong. The REASON they did it was wrong.

And Kapunua pretending that she's the only one who is worth anything when it comes to writing, THAT is wrong.

An anon asked for poetry. Toujours and others posted some.

Anon asked for original poetry. Wendy posted some.

But oh no, Kapunua has to come in and post her own as if she's the only one who can.

Anonymous said...

"still waiting for an answer. doesn't sound like amy was being very polite."


In case you didn't notice, I did answer you. It wasn't intended to hurt. Just to make a point. That they were using their words for attention and to hurt others. To derail conversations that were going on.

Anonymous said...

And guess what. I don't know if anyone noticed, but Kapunua's poetry isn't really THAT good. Take a look at Wendy's poems.

Anonymous said...

Nah, I think I'll pass, Anon.

Anonymous said...

I bow to you, who know the truth:
that I am She Who Weaves.




This makes me want to say, GET OVER YOURSELF.

Obviously there are plenty of other people who write poetry and can do it BETTER.

gnothi seauton said...

Mayo.

Is this blog in suspended animation or something because every time I venture over your threshold the conversation is still the same.

Keeps her windows shut
To keep out the air

Hmm, that's how things go stale my friend.

Or maybe that's the point?

Be well.

Anonymous said...

And guess what. I don't know if anyone noticed, but Kapunua's poetry isn't really THAT good. Take a look at Wendy's poems.

May 9, 2009 5:59 PM
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nah, I think I'll pass, Anon.

May 9, 2009 6:00 PM



Oh, and why might that be? Hmmmmm, I wonder.

gnothi seauton said...

P.S.


Hello. Hope eveyone is well.

Anonymous said...

Calling someone beyond pathetic wasn't intended to hurt? Not a very nice thing to say to someone is it? How can poetry derail conversation on a public blog? There can easily be several conversations going on at once, you just reply to the people you are talking to and skim past the other people who are talking outside of your convo.

Anonymous said...

So, what exactly is a villian?

Anonymous said...

Maybe YOU should to and read the Fix to get the idea of it. You obviously missed the point. It was meant to help.

gnothi seauton said...

And I obviously have a problem with my r's.

But I've got cream for it so don't worry.

Anonymous said...

If a conversation can be derailed by a poem, it doesn't say much about the quality of the conversation!

Anonymous said...

WE. DON'T. NEED. YOUR. HELP. THANK. YOU. VERY. MUCH.

Anonymous said...

The blog has lost it's sparkle. Mayo just posts and runs. SS doesn't come round any more. I hope you're happy Amy. Is this how you wanted it?

Anonymous said...

It has not lost it's sparkle. You are obviously not around at night, when there is still friendship. And poetry. And FUN.

Oh but I guess that doesn't count if it's not your favorite people doing it.

Anonymous said...

Don't blame Amy for those people not coming around anymore either. That is their choice if they don't come here. No one can make them leave.

Nobody McNoname said...

I'm about to go out. I sure hope I don't run into any poets out there. They might, oh I don't know, sting me with some words or kill me with rhymes or something. Very, very dangerous indeed.

Oh no! I think they're already here. I just heard a noise and it sounded like a *gasp* A POEM!!!

False alarm. False alarm. That was just the sound of logic and reason being tossed out the window. Strangely enough, it sounded like an Eminem rap when it landed. Made me want "lose myself in the music, the moment" but just for a second.

Anonymous said...

You have to ask yourself why they would make that choice after 18 months? Perhaps because the blog has gone to shit. And that IS Amy's fault. Amy thought if she could drive Kapu away from the blog Mayo and SS might finally notice her. But they didn't. Mayo and SS used to play games and take quizzes and join in the banter. Now neither of them drop by any more. The blog has lost it's sparkle.

Anonymous said...

I miss Mayo dropping by and talking physics.

Anonymous said...

I miss Mayo and SS doing the quizzes we all used to do and sharing their answers. My fave was the hell one.

Anonymous said...

I remmeber the hell quiz. Mayo was in the 6th level of hell and SS shocked us all by being a naughty little devil in the 7th level of hell!

Anonymous said...

I miss the poetry challenges.

Anonymous said...

I miss SS telling us how he spent his weekends, like the family get togethers where the children would climb all over him and beat him up with karate.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ with a pear-shaped ass, it never ends! I post a few times and this all happens.

I'm sorry, Mayo. Also sorry for being a dork and posting poems on your old post. I opened your blog this morning with intent ti say hi, then ended up running late and having to go here and there (I forgot to get a card for my cousin) and then just started posting there once I got home.

Anyway.

Anyways Mayo, this poem of yours is really powerful and sad and, well yeah, a little scary! I thought that she was young at first, but your PS made me think old, dementia, near death.

On the other hand, one doesn't have to be old to be near death, does one? Nope.

p.s. in the end it is what you think you will get.I don't know about that, Mayo. I wish I could really believe that. I hate surprises. Really, what I think? Well, I like to think that it will at least be interesting; that I'll go on. But maybe not. And if I doubt, does that mean I won't get it?

If I totally believed in some kind of Nirvana, eternal joy or something, would I get that? I don't know; maybe. Even this reality is subjective. After life, why, there is no one else to distill your perception with theirs, right? Maybe it really is what you think it is.

In which case I will be some gorgeous, talented martial artist in another life, literate and aware, adored by all. ;) Haha.

I wish to go on. What do you wish, Mayo?

Do you remember, we had this semi-discussion once before. You had another PS one time that was sort of along this line I think.

I note that you never explain anything, kinda like Mary Poppins. Well actually, you have explained a few posts in the past. But most of the time you don't, and even though I get the gist of this poem, I don't know how it relates to you--who "Elizabeth" is and who you are in relation to her, etc. But hey, it's poetry, do we need to know the details? Or can we just get the idea of it, the images and go, "ooooh yeah!"

Yeah, I thought so!

In case you were wondering, my last one was about a kitsune who just can't get the guy. ;)

Mayo, one thing I hope is that this wouldn't be having something to do with Mother's Day.

I hope you and your family have a good Mother's Day. As you can imagine, it's a tough one around here.

Byebeeeee!

P.S. I hope you got to see Wolverine.

Anonymous said...

I miss Mayo joining in with the Monty Python quotes.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I miss that stuff, too. But! It's the way of things, I guess. "One brief shining moment" etc.

Nobody McNoname: It's funny you should mention that, because a while I go (months I guess) I was thinking how Pythonesque that was. And it seemed like it could be right out of a Monty Python sketch: torturing with poetry. Like that joke that made people laugh to death. ^_^

Okay! Now I'm out.

Bye!

Anonymous said...

WTFFFFFF get out of my head, anon. ;D

Anonymous said...

its all so contrived...

Anonymous said...

Nah, I like it in here, cluttered, but very comfy.

Anonymous said...

No, no, it is a dark place where a cold wind blows, and a voice tells you in a whisper that everyone is going to die. ;D

Well, sometimes. Most of the time it is Monty Python quotes and a neon sign reading "CHOCOLATE."

^_^

Anonymous said...

You are right, and I think I see a large hamster wheel in the corner. What is this? An article on Schrodinger's cat...a ceramic unicorn...a hand drawn picture of Pele. Lots of random numbers disgarded in piles on the floor...

Anonymous said...

LOL, I have no idea what to do with the numbers.

Uhh, and this picture of naked Ewan McGregor, gosh, how embarrassing, I would have taken that down if I'd known you'd be coming over. ;)

Umm, I do own a ceramic unicorn. My cousin gave it to me when I was twelve. O_O

Anonymous said...

I like you, 6:38. You see much.

Clarice Starling said...

: You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see?

Anonymous said...

When one has stopped loving somebody, one feels that he has become someone else, even though he is still the same person.

Sei Shonagon said...

I must say, if I ever come across a man who seems to feel for me at all, I immediately assume he's actually quite shallow-hearted, so I have no need to expose myself to potential embarrassment.

Anonymous said...

^_~

Anonymous said...

Even on this festive day,
When all are seeking butterflies and flowers,
You and you alone can see
What feelings hide within my heart.

Anonymous said...

anon said:"Anyone can post whatever, whenever they want."

But I guess that doesn't apply to people like MJ who posted her OPINION on Kapunua's reaction toward her grandmother's death.

Or Wendy.

or the OPs.

I guess only people YOU like are "allowed" to post what they want.... without being turned into a villian.

Whatever you post is going to bring a reaction...sometimes its a negative one.

Ugly in...ugly out.

That my friend "is Life"

Anonymous said...

Izumi-chan?? I'm just taking a guess here. :)

the poem that Sei referenced said...

Stretching his neck across the fence,
The little colt can scarcely reach the wheat.
So I myself cannot attain
The object of my love.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone apologize for posting poetry...whether it be Kapunua or Wendy...that is ludicrous.

Think about it!!

Its like bitching about walking across a field because there are too many fucking flowers.

Anonymous said...

But I suppose this dream of mine is rather absurd.

Anonymous said...

I especially like that passage of Shonagon's. I suppose it's because I have similar dreams and I write them off as absurd as well. Are they?

(Bearing in mind that Shonagon's zeitgeist allowed for "everything about high born people delights me" and in fact I'm more or less the opposite in that respect. But! it's all about the paradigm, isn't it?)

Here is Shonagon's "absurd" dream:

I should like to live in a large, attractive house. My family would of course be staying with me; and in one of the wings I should have a friend, an elegant lady-in-waiting from the Palace, with whom I could converse.

Whenever we wished, we should meet to discuss recent poems and other things of interest. When my friend received a letter, we should read it together and write our answer. If someone came to pay my friend a visit, I should receive him in one of our beautifully decorated rooms, and if he was prevented from leaving by a rain-storm or something of the sort, I should warmly invite him to stay. Whenever my friend went to the Palace, I should help her with her preparations and see that she had what was needed during her stay at Court. For everything about well-born people delights me.

But I suppose this dream of mine is rather absurd.
Anon: what is your dream?

Anonymous said...

The sun is too bright.

Anonymous said...

That puppy is too cute.

Anonymous said...

The puppy is, too.

Anonymous said...

That steak is too tender.

Anonymous said...

The sushi, too fresh.

Anonymous said...

Oh shit, the kitten is too cute.

The puppy is too.

Anonymous said...

But I really must stop writing this kind of thing. If I were still young enough, I might risk the consequence of putting down such impieties, but at my present stage of life, I should be less flippant.

Anonymous said...

It is getting so dark that I can scarcely go on writing; and my brush is all worn out. Yet I should like to add a few things before I end.

Anonymous said...

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.


Martin Luther King Jr.

My Dream?....End ALL hate...Period.

Anonymous said...

I wrote these notes at home, when I had a good deal of time to myself and thought no one would notice what I was doing. Everything that I have seen and felt is included. Since much of it might appear malicious and even harmful to other people, I was careful to keep my book hidden. But now it has become public, which is the last thing I expected.

Anonymous said...

7"39

That is a beautiful dream. MLK Jr didn't live to see that dream realized. Neither will we, i fear.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

4:56

The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look and do nothing.
- Albert Einstein

May 8, 2009 8:35 PM Anonymous said...
4:56

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.

-Holocaust museum. Washington DC

May 8, 2009 8:40 PMJeez, it sounds like you are talking about direct action here, anon.

What are you gonna do-alert the authorities to GWs smokin, drinkin and alleged drug takin and say he will be a bad parent?

or are you talking about something more sinister re direct action?

You are scary and I pity anyone you fixate on!
You're a fucking idiot.

Anonymous said...

Anon, how sad. That is how she ended the book. It was a sad ending too, one which Shonagon only ever mentions in passing. Her beloved Empress was deposed and died very young. Shonagon really had very few friends after that and little is known of what became of her.

But apparently you can go and visit what might be her grave. If (WHEN) I make it to Japan, I will be sure to do that!

And you, anon? What is your "absurd" dream? Have you one?

fresh anon said...

DESIRE

"Waiting.

Wanting.
Exercising an unbearable patience.

I yearn for simple things.
To hear your voice.
To see your face,
particularly when it breaks out in that slow,
sensuous, all encompassing smile.

The aroma of your perfume permeating my senses.
Your hand falling gently upon my chest,
sensing the acceleration of my heartbeat,
the catch of breath in my throat,
the sheen of sweat breaking upon my brow.

The sinous way that you glide through a room.
Raw sensuality waiting to be unleashed.

An unquenchable thirst that grows with each passing moment.
Desire that burns unrepentingly.
Passion left unslaked.
An ache from your absence and
the unfinished nature of our meeting.
Frenzied cravings.

A longing to explore, your thoughts, dreams, and desires.
And the slim hope that somehow
I can make some of them come true.

Waiting.
Wanting.
Burning.
Yearning.
Dreaming.
Tormented by the depth of my fervor.

Twisting in the wind and loving it.
Hoping for release
"



by
-Michael Hernandez

Anonymous said...

My dream will always be just beyond my reach, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Anonymous said...

Do I know you, anon? Do we know each other?

Anonymous said...

Not to get weird or personal or anything, it's just I can't shake that feeling sometimes. You know?

Anonymous said...

I know. I'm sorry.

fresh anon said...

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, don't be sorry.

Umm, so...? Yes? Do we know each other?

fresh anon said...

When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality.

Anonymous said...

Anon, you'll note that I didn't offer any "Oh no, don't say that your dream is out of reach; anything is possible!"

It is possible to be realistic and optimistic, you know? I'm really not going to marry Jared Leto! I'm really not going to win the MegaMillions lottery and have a huge aviary; I'm probably not going to marry at all or even have a couple of million dollars. Hehe.

But this doesn't preclude happiness. Some dreams are just meant to be dreams.

But then often times not attaining them is just as meaningful. Don't you think?

Anonymous said...

Okay, I've got one more question for you, anon, and then I will get off your case.

Does the Led Zeppelin song "The Battle Of Evermore" mean anything to you?

Or how about this phrase:

"The great white whale splashed into a coffee table, and now it's your turn to take the helm."

Yes yes, it's from Heathers. Have you ever spoken those words?

^_^

Either way, anon, it's cool. We're cool. I like you. I'm just curious. :)

Anonymous said...

No, I will be the pattern of all patience. I will say nothing.

Nothing can come of nothing.

ergoproxy said...

good morning all

hi Mayo!

Happy Mother's Day from Oz to all the Mums and all the mums of all the sons & daughters

Anonymous said...

Who is it that can tell me who I am, anon?

Anonymous said...

Morning ep. Happy Mothers' Day to you.

Anonymous said...

this is too sad and painful to watch.

different anon said...

Fairest Cordelia, that art most rich, being poor;
Most choice, forsaken; and most loved, despised!


You are quite a woman Kapu.

ergoproxy said...

thank you anon.I had a lovely coffee in bed this morning, and was given a pot trivet made out of wooden pegs with a pink felt heart glued in the middle
as well as a red leather handbag and a pair of silver filigree heart earrings to match my heart pendant, I am wearing them now :]

hopw you're having a nice day also

Hi K

ergoproxy said...

hopw = hope

however on a side note,
Hopw reminds me always of a rugby league player named Hopawate who was disciplined and banned from playing for a time, because one of his tactic which was to tackle and stick his finger in the opponent "where the sun don't shine"
needless to say it worked, but wasn't legal!!

Anonymous said...

I beseech your Grace to pardon me; for I was born to speak all mirth and no matter. ^_^



Hi EP.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a terrific day with all those hearts. :)

Anonymous said...

Some there be that shadows kiss, Such have but a shadow's bliss.

Anonymous said...

SHADOW. Does "Shadow" mean anything to you?

Anonymous said...

It might not have been legal
but it was creative.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that was why I selected that particular quote.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shakespeare.

ergoproxy said...

2:03pm from the last post, hope you had a lovely time :]

Anonymous said...

is this calaf?

Anonymous said...

Anon, do you have children?

Anonymous said...

Who is calaf?

ergoproxy said...

8:25 creative was one way of looking at it! lol
as well as being very effective, as you could imagine
and he has made it into popular culture also, not a lot of people can say that
(though not sure if he'd be proud of it)

different anon said...

Be careful here Kapu. You said yourself there is a regular who googles you. This could be that person. Just think about it, I'm not saying it's true but I wouldn't put it past someone who was googling you for information to play with you like this.

Anonymous said...

Anon are you married? Are you a boy or a girl?

Anonymous said...

how many of us anons are there? 0_0

Anonymous said...

No, this anon is a nice anon. Google "Anon" is mean and creepy. And seriously would not be acting nice to me.

Anonymous said...

Anon is the word.
The only word heard.

Anonymous said...

here they all come out

the sirens that call you

you just love the melodrama

yet another anon said...

I think you are right to be concerned 8:30 but from reading the comments they are writing to each other it seems they actually know each other. The anon wrote something about shadows to give her a clue and she got it so they obviously know each other in real life.

Anonymous said...

sakura sakuraima sakihokoru
setsuna ni chiriyuku
sadame to shitte
saraba tomo yo
tabidachi no toki
kawaranai sono omoi wo
ima

Anonymous said...

But that's the thing; I don't know if we really know each other. That would be so weird, if this is who that was.

You can tell me, you know. You can talk to me if you want. Heck you can call me. You know my door is always open.

Anonymous said...

I think so too. Saying ceramic unicorn is a bit random, that item was said on purpose. Does this person know you have a ceramic unicorn? Do you have a book on scrodingers cat?

Anonymous said...

That brings to mind an interesting question.



How many people here have had real life stalkers or know someone who has?

Anonymous said...

kapu it's none of my business but do you think you have solved who calaf is? i'm guessing it was calaf?

Anonymous said...

I do have a book on Schrodinger's Cat.

Mind you, a book, 8:36.

The first anon mentioned a paper about Schrodinger's Cat. What made you ask about a book? :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know; I kind of wish I did. This person writes nothing at all like the person I'm thinking of; indeed has an entirely different sensibility. But I just can't think of anyone else I know who I haven't asked. I don't really know that many people.

Anonymous said...

Is that you PPU? ;p

Anonymous said...

Calaf: If you can finish this quote...

"The end, that's all she wrote...Then just flipping email me for godsakes. ;D

Anonymous said...

Do you have a picture of Pele?

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's Beautiful Boy. I would love it if you two hooked up on this blog. That would be sweet.

Anonymous said...

Fess up anon. Who are you? Don't be this cruel to the girl. She's dying to know.

Anonymous said...

I know! This is quite exciting.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I have a lot of Pele art in my house.

LOL, I actually asked him, 8:42. He said that it was him. Then he said, "Nah, I'm just kidding."

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's exciting, I think it's creepy. We already know (from Kapu) that someone here stalks her, a regular. A regular once got her fired. Why wouldn't they mess with her in this way? I think it's creepy and it's probably the google anon.

Anonymous said...

I would love it to be BB but I get the feeling it's more of a forbidden love thing, perhaps he's married or has asked her out before and she's turned him down. He said his dreams were out of his reach. :(

Anonymous said...

At least tell her if you are a man and married with children.

Anonymous said...

Really? So all 3 things are in your house? You know him. Think dammit!

Anonymous said...

Like anyone has ever asked her out.

Think about this, these anons ARE Kapu trying to make it seem like she has this mysterious past.

Anonymous said...

No; this man would be UNmarried with a child.

ergoproxy said...

8:37 I did many years ago, a guy who I knew got a little obsessed, used to drive past in his car and such. Fortunately he was easily dissuaded in the end.
And once a student who lived nearly, would look into my windows, I put up heavy curtains but he moved away fortunately
But gave me an idea of how easy it can develop, you can never predict a persons behaviour

Anonymous said...

8:46 that's illicit don't you think? Why start something in the middle of something else. Doesn't sound like a good thing.

ergoproxy said...

see y'all I have to go finish housework, we are going out after lunch then I am having lasagne made for me for dinner

mmmm :]

back later!!

Anonymous said...

Well I think it's romantic. I think it's BB!

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
My dream will always be just beyond my reach, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

May 9, 2009 7:54 PM
"


Was that about Kapunua? Is she your dream?

Anonymous said...

No, no it really isn't! We discussed this at length one night. He thought it was weird, actually. And he said, "Do you need me to take care of this for you?" LOL.

Anonymous said...

Is that why you said your dream was absurd? Are you a lot older/younger than her?

Anonymous said...

I don't think he's here any more!

Anonymous said...

*le sigh*

I feel like my Mystery Anon has left and now I'm throwing darts at the wind.

Anonymous said...

Kapu did the shadow ccomment actually mean something to you? Sorry to be so nosey but I can't help it. I'm on the edge of my seat!

Anonymous said...

I hope they have some courage to email you Kapunua.

Anonymous said...

"ergoproxy said...
8:37 I did many years ago, a guy who I knew got a little obsessed, used to drive past in his car and such. Fortunately he was easily dissuaded in the end.
"


Any real life stalking is a horrible experience Ep. I'm glad yours was easily dissuaded. Some are not.

Anonymous said...

Come like shadow; so depart.

Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised they left, we all start asking questions. I hope you get to the bottom of it!

Anonymous said...

I hope so too, anon. ^_^

Anonymous said...

To both things, I mean. :)

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

I hope they have some courage to email you Kapunua.
"


It wouldn't be difficult to do. Maybe they're hiding some facts from her for good reason.

Anonymous said...

Well, the Shadow thing, I think if he meant to tell me something, he would have chosen something different. "Shadow" was just something that jarred me but I don't think this guy would use that. Because really it has nothing to do with me.

Difficult to explain.

Anonymous said...

Then why mess with her on a blog? If they had something to hide why would they start talking to her here.

Anonymous said...

I thought Shakespeare was Teej's anon.

Anonymous said...

Kapu has always had a Shakespeare anon.

Anonymous said...

No, Shakespeare anon has always had a soft spot for Kapu. It's Calaf.

Anonymous said...

No, TJ has a poem anon. They like her ^_^

Anonymous said...

What really threw me was the ceramic unicorn. I actually do have one. i mean, how random is that? And it's in my bedroom.

Anonymous said...

9:01

To build up her self esteem publicly maybe.

Ludo said...

I'm a killer, cold and wrathful
Silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom
I've murdered half the town
left you love notes on their headstones
I'll fill the graveyards until I have you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, but my self esteem is at stasis since I turned twelve. Talking to me on a blog wouldn't change anything.

Anonymous said...

I must admit when I first read that comment I thought wtf, random much? But then when you said you had a unicorn I thought it must be calaf.

Anonymous said...

Calaf has been in your bedroom??

Anonymous said...

Has BB been inside your bedroom?

Anonymous said...

"What really threw me was the ceramic unicorn. I actually do have one. i mean, how random is that? And it's in my bedroom."


So it would have to be somebody who has been in your bedroom or who you told about the ceramic unicorn.

Who has been in your bedroom? Who have you told about the unicorn?

Anonymous said...

Not just the unicorn 9:07, schrodingers cat and pele too. Weird. Someone who has been in Kapu's house.

Anonymous said...

I thought Kapu had a Wastelands anon

Anonymous said...

Err, well yeah he has actually.

But I'm not sure who I might have told about a ceramic unicorn. It doesn't come up in conversation often. ;)

ANd honestly, I really don't know all that many people.

Anonymous said...

wastelands anon/calaf/shakespeare anon are all the same anon.

Anonymous said...

Ludo? Is that Sdock, smoke or ludo anon?

Anonymous said...

I usually figured that Waste Lands anon and Calaf / Shakespeare anon were the same.

Spooky anon too.

Remember, this is the anon who guessed the question that I hadn't even asked. Stranger things have happened.

Anonymous said...

ME? :)

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