Drill Bit
Tuesday I hear it’s going around;
I’m off...again, knuckled white.
Wednesday I will talk myself into
Round about routes to denial.
If I say it, then it won’t come true.
And, I find comfortable restraint; bound to
Repeating it over and over and over. And again,
It feels better that way, medicated meditation.
Then Thursday everything is white. I eat
From a bland full service spectrum buffet,
Plated and nothing touches.
I won’t even sip from her cup.
By Friday I am unable to tolerate human contact.
And, I count back to the last
In order to find spared time. I’ll be free-
On Saturday what is in the air will kill me.
So, I hold my breath between rooms. Suffocated,
Sunday I become completely restricted.
I will not accept from anyone, anything
That has been anywhere other than here.
Those days, they wear me hard
And to the end, so I have become
Exhausted from the fight. I finally sleep.
Then Monday brings me back, slightly.
With a negligent handshake,
So that again Tuesday I am found,
Wringing dry, anticeptic hands.
I will not allow myself to open a door
I stay; refusal and restraint, withholding.
p.s. its got quite a grip.
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wait until you get married. You will find you how fast you can say bastard in the heat of the moment. ^_~
I thought that's what you say in the heat of childbirth.
Wendy, it's not a war if the enemy doesn't return fire. And I didn't see anyone firing at you in the first place.
Get help. For YOURSELF.
i'm doing pretty good, bc. just playing on the computer tonight.
ah well... missed out this time
Calling someone you love, know, and who understands you a bastard (or how friends call each other 'bitch' sometimes) is WAY different than attacking someone you are known to hate, out of nowhere just because "you have a reason" and "you feel entitled".
well, crap. it's still aggravating when the page changes while you're typing a comment. :/
hello ergo!
I suspect Wendy was drunk that night.
Even if she was, that is not an excuse, I don't know any one else who is "entitled" to treat people like that when they are mad, drunk or anything.
just read your comment on the last page, ergo, and i hope they do, too -- but not before i get a picture of that sign! ;D
The funny thing is the people on DM who are saying how wrong what Wendy did was, yet are nice to her face.
I didn't say it as an excuse. I think she needs help either way and it was still wrong.
12:09 ~ Are you really not getting that I said all people make mistakes. That we, as human beings, are entitled to make mistakes. Perhaps "entitled" is the wrong word. Perhaps "allowed" would be a better word.
I would like to ask where it is that you live if you have never heard such words used or seen such words in print.
Honestly, I've never actually "said" the "c" word. The "f" word has only passed my lips maybe 5 or 6 times in my life.
Does that make me better than people who use the "f" word on a daily basis? NO, it does not!
Does my typing the "c" word here (and you not doing so) make you better than me? NO, it does not!
Personally, I don't find the word bitch or the "c" word anymore offensive than other words that have been used here. I don't find them more offensive than trying to insult someone's intelligence.
I see anyone as being beneath me. I don't see myself as being above anyone else. As I've said, I think we have all said and done things we regret. It's what we, humans, do. It's how we learn.
But, that's just my "philosophy"!
That should have been:
I don't see anyone as being beneath me.
*blushes*
Freudian slip much?
oh do take your camera next time you are out, it would be worth a snap
"Honestly, I've never actually "said" the "c" word. The "f" word has only passed my lips maybe 5 or 6 times in my life."
You reserved it in print for one person, repeatedly. Interesting.
I have heard the word. I've read it in books and heard it in movies. It's used for the effect of shocking people with it's disgustingness.
I have heard ugly hearted people use it... in bars.
I heard my friend's abusive boyfriend call her that a few times.
It is a word of abuse.
He admitted to his mistakes too.
But you are still trying to justify it. And your apology seems hollow since you still seem to stand by every thing you said.
yes, everyone is allowed to make mistakes. But some mistakes really seem like a red flag for help. Help which I think you should get.
Hi Ergo!!! How are you tonight? I'm enjoying the night entertaining these "anons"!
As I've said, I think we have all said and done things we regret. It's what we, humans, do. It's how we learn.
The difference is, if you still think that "you had a reason", you haven't learned a thing.
I agree that trying to say she had a reason was wrong.
But I don't think in this case keeping on harping on Wendy is going to work. If she does need help to sort out her feelings.... and I think she might.... Then a blog is not the ideal place to do it. I don't think that she "learned" from it either but, she still can.
I'm good wendy, glad to have some quiet now
i'll definitely try to, ergo!
did your daughter enjoy her party?
anonymous said...
You reserved it in print for one person, repeatedly. Interesting.
Repeatedly, anon? I typed it out ONCE. In one comment. Where is this repeatedly?
I make no excuses "anons". I said my behavior was atrocious and it was.
I'm still trying to understand your hypocrisy here.
I can honestly say I've never seen anyone act like that. Maybe I'm just lucky and I don't know people who treat others like that. Ever. For any reason.
"I had a reason" IS an excuse.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I can honestly say I've never seen anyone act like that. Maybe I'm just lucky and I don't know people who treat others like that. Ever. For any reason.
March 1, 2009 12:31 AM
I did, in real life, a few times. It's not too different from reading it said to another person. It's ugly either way.
Mayo,
This is gonna be brief. The weather is making my internet connection it's bitch. So I'm having a friend post this for me.
Hope you did something today that made you happy. Really happy! If not, then there's always tomorrow. It's important to do at least one thing a day that for whatever reason makes you smile. Even if it's just for a minute. That minute can see you through to another day.
Take care
Elena (just for a minute)
she did thanks TJ they had a great time
elena, i really liked that, especially the way you signed it. take care of yourself, stay warm. :)
Wendy. I'm not here to pick on you. You've always been nice to me. But that thing you did was terrible. I know you realize that but it does still sound like you think it was OK to do... because it was to HER. You are still saying you had a reason. That is an excuse.
I really hope you can deal with your anger and you eventually do learn.
I can also say that I've never heard or read anyone saying and calling the things I've read here. Mostly to one person.
that's good to hear, ergo. man, slumber parties are a very fun way to celebrate a birthday!
I've read that kind of behavior before. On 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica where the worst of the worst of the internet all go to hang out.
Anons: I can guarantee you, if I did need help, I would get it.
I do value your psychological evaluations so much! Thank you!
And, you might not want to keep talking about such things on Mayo's blog. He did admit he had been diagnosed with "clinical depression". All this talk of getting help might make him feel bad. So... shhhhh, please.
Now, why don't you take your own advice and actually talk to a profession about your problems. You know, your obsession with me, J, Amy anyone you don't particularly like.
Are you really not getting that I said all people make mistakes. That we, as human beings, are entitled to make mistakes. Perhaps "entitled" is the wrong word. Perhaps "allowed" would be a better word.
Yes, I did "get" you. I agree everyone makes mistakes, however your behavior was from one continuum to another.
I would like to ask where it is that you live if you have never heard such words used or seen such words in print.
Be realistic, these adjectives are not used in everyday print and used mostly for shock purposes or to denigrate someone.
I see anyone as being beneath me. I don't see myself as being above anyone else. As I've said, I think we have all said and done things we regret. It's what we, humans, do. It's how we learn.
Apart from obtaining the attention of others, if you want someone to really hear you, you just wouldn't use them.
It's not about being about anyone else, it's about self-respect.
I do commend you for staying here to read these comments however.
lol TJ it is, and though they went to bed at a reasonable time, there were the trips to the toilet and then they were up at sparrow's fart,
hence my tiredness
goodnight elena, hope the weather eases
xx
"And, you might not want to keep talking about such things on Mayo's blog. He did admit he had been diagnosed with "clinical depression". All this talk of getting help might make him feel bad. So... shhhhh, please."
If Mayo has depression then he is probably getting help. If not then he should. I think he knows that.
"
Now, why don't you take your own advice and actually talk to a profession about your problems. You know, your obsession with me, J, Amy anyone you don't particularly like."
Wendy, like I said I always liked you. I don't know why you want to believe that I don't. You just shocked and upset me and it seems like you still think it was the right thing to do even though you keep saying "i was wrong" you still keep insisting that you had a good REASON.
Many people can need help and not realize it. I hope you can reach out to someone.
Hi sugarplum, how are you doing? Sorry I didn't answer earlier. I'm still trying to download the rest of my songs.
I have heard ugly hearted people use it... in bars.
I do not go to bars. I do say fuck alot. I do not have a bad heart. I just have a potty mouth. Maybe i need to wash my mouth out with fucking soap. ^_~
Infamy, infamy, they've all got it infamy!
No Wendy, most of us just can't get over something so ugly.
anonymous said...
I know you realize that but it does still sound like you think it was OK to do... because it was to HER. You are still saying you had a reason. That is an excuse.
No, anon. Saying I had a reason for losing my temper is not the same as making excuses for the namecalling.
I will make this clear one last time: It was not okay for me call anyone names. Not okay at all!
It's not okay when I do it, it's not okay when you/they do it.
One set of standards for all.
I shall move on now. It has been fun though!
Ergo: I'm glad to hear you're having some quiet time! Did you go to the creek today?
Sweetcheeks: Where did you go?
"Anonymous Anonymous said...
I have heard ugly hearted people use it... in bars.
I do not go to bars. I do say fuck alot. I do not have a bad heart. I just have a potty mouth. Maybe i need to wash my mouth out with fucking soap. ^_~
March 1, 2009 12:40 AM"
Not talking about "fuck". Like I said. Friends can joke with each other because they know their limitations.
I'm talking about the on purpose saying of "you cunt" to someone you hate. In order to hurt them. That kind of attack. It is a big difference.
Add that to the constant repeating "BITCH in case you missed it the first time"!! and "I'll get you my pretty" attitude that followed and you have something "ugly".
"Saying I had a reason for losing my temper is not the same as making excuses for the namecalling. "
Actually it IS.
"I know I was bad. But I had a REASON". That is an excuse.
just wait until they're old enough for the really fun slumber party games ergo -- like truth or dare, that ends up with half-a-dozen pre-teens running around the house outside in their underwear!
just as an example.
not that i ever heard about anyone doing that.
nope.
;)
I do not go to bars. I do say fuck alot. I do not have a bad heart. I just have a potty mouth. Maybe i need to wash my mouth out with fucking soap. ^_~
Well, you better make sure you do your mouth first with that soap, and the other bits later ^_^
Many people can need help and not realize it. I hope you can reach out to someone.
Well, thank you again, "anon". I hate to argue with your psychological expertise; but, I did actually talk to a therapist last month. They told me the same thing the one years and years ago (the one I saw after my brother died) told me.
Their exact words "I can't tell you anything you don't already know for yourself. If you would ever like to just talk you can come back but I really don't see any need for you to be here."
Well hell! I guess the pros ~ the one's with all the diplomas on their walls don't know half as much as you do "anon". Shucks, I might have to to call one of them just to tell them YOU do it so much better!
:P
There you are, sweetcheeks!
*huge hug*
Wendy, there is no need for you to be rude or patronizing with me. With any of us. Like I said, I always did like you.
You seem to want to believe that people are out to hurt you and you seem to take everything personally.
Sometimes therapists don't see all of one's behaviour.
I hope you have a good day Wendy and I hope you eventually sort out whatever your problems and demons are.
TJ please! don't scare me!!! yep I have all that to look forward to, then we lock her in her room until she's 21 lol
wendy creek was only yesterday, they played with the hose and a sheet of plastic with soap to slide on today
Using her niece on purpose as a foot in the door to come back to the blog was pretty low too. Funny you don't see that niece anymore. Guess she is not needed around here anymore. I think she was real, I just think Wendy told her to come in and "hold the door open" for her. To give her the line "if ever there was a reason to come back it's her"!! That was so obvious.
Anon616
I personally don't believe therapy is a solution to everything, you have to be in the right place emotionally to be receptive to it. This can take a while. I think surrounding yourself with good people is far more helpful.
Apart from your blog, have you considered keeping a private journal where you can vent your feelings?
anonymous said...
You seem to want to believe that people are out to hurt you and you seem to take everything personally.
What and huh? Where did that come from?
No and no. I don't recall ever saying such a thing. I don't recall ever trying to play the victim or saying anyone was out to get me.
And, I don't see how my replies are rude or patronizing. I'm simply answering you.
Ohhh... you are a clever little one, aren't you.
How are things in the UK? Is the weather good?
You're probably right about one thing. I probably should lose my temper like that more than once ever five years! Therapists would probably agree!
;)
Oh so now you think the anon is Fimble.
then we lock her in her room until she's 21 lol
don't forget to board up the windows...
btw, have you ever read flowers in the attic?
*heh*
My feeling are feelings of LOVE, anon. As shown on my blog and several other places (as in my real, actual life). What are yours?
Ergo: If I lived near a creek like that, I would be there everyday!
lol I have TJ
I am just glad we live out of town, hard to sneak out at night if there is nothing but paddocks
12:58 ~ There you go putting words and names in the mouths of other people.
The UK statement was about the spelling of "behaviour". Fimble Star isn't the only person from the UK here. In fact, I'm certain a few "anons" are from the UK!
Sweetcheeks: Did I loose you again? It's hard to see through the "sea" of anons sometimes!
well then they are up really really late or really really early. Maybe the spelling is affectation to throw you off.
It could be 1:04! Any writer worth a grain of sand can change their writing style with the snap of a finger and the wink of an eye.
Speaking of eyes, what colour are your eyes anon?
^please note the spelling of color^
Sorry sugarplum, still downloading the songs, and plus I had to put my rabbit inside.
How are you?
hazel.
you don't have cows in the area do you, ergo? just the other day a couple of my co-workers were going all nostalgic about cow-tipping.
might want to warn the neighborhood cows in a few years.
lol can you tell that i make a better aunt than i ever would a parent? i'm usually the one to give the kid a toy drumset for christmas.
terribly bad influence, i am.
Is it still freezing there, Sweetcheeks? Poor Chocolate must miss the outdoors; but, it's much better for him to be inside and not freeze!
Did you see where I tried sending the songs to you? I'll try again in a bit!
Anon: Hazel is a nice colour for eyes. My nephew has hazel eyes. It's a nice colour in general!
BC how many songs got deleted?
when I got my iPod I was told to straight away turn off that autosynch thingy and do it all manually, I hate things that do stuff by themselves
cha-cha?
Hello TJ! With all the people around to chat with tonight I don't remember if I said a proper HI to you.
How's the job going? And, what happened to Elena? I know I saw her here earlier!
TJ I haven't ever cow tipped, but I assume it would be funny, though I have never known cows to be that unaware at night, but then I don't usually go looking, lol,
have you seen those fainting goats? If they get a fright they keel over in a sort of spasm. It really looks so funny, but you feel a bit bad laughing at them. Can't really see what survival use it would be, more like "ease of eating" for a predator
hello wendy. :)
elena signed off earlier -- the snow in kansas is mucking up here internet connection.
my own internet connection -- slower than slow -- meant i couldn't look at your mardi gras links, but it was good to read that you had a great time!
edit: "mucking up her"
Ergo, about 136 songs got deleted. It took me most of last night and today to retrieve most of them. That's what I hate about the Ipod. Next time I'm gonna try to save a backup playlist.
Thanks sugarplum. Chocolate is now inside eating some lettuce.
well how about that, it is a genetic disorder, didn't think it could be a proper breed characteristic.
but people breed them specially as they are nice gentle goats
i've heard of those goats, ergo, but have never seen them -- i agree with you though on the usefulness of that trick. diva goats, faint when stressed.
"oh, i just can't work like this!"
*plop*
Well poop for the snow in Kansas! I needed to talk to Elena about wedding plans!
I've been loving your goodnights, TJ. It seems you're making the best out of your situation and really enjoying the new job!
Ergo: No!!! Don't tip cows or horses! Poor things could break bones when people do that to them!
BC go into the settings and turn off he auto synch thing in the "summary" section then it doesn't matter what you do to iTunes it won't do it to your iPod
Ooops... and thanks for the Mardi Gras comment, TJ!!!! It was fun! You should try to make it one year too!!!!
I don't really think people could do it that easily anyway wendy, we sometimes throw cows, but only young ones, (and not me personally) and they are never real happy about it. I don't you'd ever be able to sneak up on a horse!
thank you, wendy!
speaking of good nights, i'm overdue to make mine. oops.
have a good rest of the night/day everyone. *big hugs*
fainting goats
(it doesn't hurt them either, they do it if they get excited or scared ~ so very odd)
Thanks Ergo!
I just ate a carrot that tasted pretty nasty. Ugh.
Goodnight TJ sweet dreams
Ergo: Those fainting goats are adorable!!! I want one!
I don't think I have to worry about tiny you throwing cows...
even baby ones. At least, I hope I don't!
*eyes Ergo warily as she holds her REX cow tightly*
;)
Goodnight TJ! Sweet dreams!
Sweetcheeks: I'm off to the mail room now. I'll see if sending the Charon songs one at a time works!
I'll see you next door later!
Thanks for the very interesting night, everyone!!! It was a lively dance! I liked it!
Goodnight (for now) Ergo, Sweetcheeks, Mayo, SS, various anons.
Sweet dreams to one and all!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Hi PJ!
goodnight TJ
goodnight wendy
sweet dreams
BC you just have to remember to actually eject the iPod, either in iTunes or with the "safely remove hardware" thing
it doesn't unsynch by itself if you close iTunes, but I would rather drag and drop and be able to clear things off iTunes and not have it take over and wipe my iPod
Thanks wendy. Goodnight and sweet dreams *blows kisses*
mayo,
so, a new month, and the one in which things tend to happen for me. i was diagnosed with cancer in this month, and years later, was separated from my husband on the same day (just a coincidence, but he apologized anyway when i pointed it out). i've moved in to several apartments in this month, and have moved out of them, too. last year's march was the month before everything got turned upside down by the road trip, the month in which i thought i was just planning a three-week excursion.
my theory is that it's because of spring equinox. the way i look at the year, i have two spring holidays, two points at which the year has beginnings. one is stepping across a threshold, and the other -- the one coming up -- is where things really rev up. spring fever sets in, and things go a little bit haywire.
the best part about this particular year is that everything truly is new for me. in years past, some things changed, but most things didn't. the effects of spring's energy were there, but i had to look for them.
not this year, though. i truly am brand new. i think about where i was and what i was thinking about last year at this time, and i marvel at how different it was. this last year changed everything, utterly.
it's amazing.
we always forget how exciting change is, don't we mayo? humans mostly fear change, i think because it's usually uncontrollable. beings who domesticated wild animals and grains, created writing in order to take inventories and make laws, and willingly align ourselves into groups and societies are not beings who are inherently comfortable with change.
but here it is again, and the symbol of the season is the egg.
change encapsulated.
who will you become this year, mayo? are you willing to embrace it? i usually cringe, kick, and cry first. *grin*
good night mayo. remember to look for daffodils this month. i'll send one to smile at you, so smile back at it, okay?
amen
Anonymous said...
You can see the pattern, can't you? Kapu takes off and drags her "friends" with her, almost no one on here mentions her or talks about wanting her to come back, so she gathers up her group, plans all this, and hey, just for kicks, takes a swipe at Anon616 and OPJ. They're right, you are so predictable. Why is this place so important to you? Didn't you say repeatedly that "it's just a blog?" Why do you feel the need to plan out a blitz for sympathy or cruelty or whatever you are doing it for?
February 28, 2009 11:18 PM
Goodnight to anyone here. Goodnight Ergo.
2:16 do you have to start this again?
Unless you have conclusive evidence of this I suggest you refrain from posting these sorts of comments.
You are not helping the OP's and the like by this, it only plays into the hands of others as it reinforces a "victim" image.
I didn't say it 3.16
I quoted it. Is there a list of who's allowed to copy, paste and quote things now too? Is it only you and your friends or only what you agree with.
Excuse me?
My friends? Well, seeing you are such an expert on who I am I won't bother defending myself.
Oh, and if you quoted it, just makes you seem like you agree with gist of it.
Just thought it may contribute to more tension on the blog, but why mention it.
Silly me.
Mayo
here is a song which if anything makes me think of it it invariably gets stuck in my head
it's the B-52's a great band with
Private Idaho
Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo
You're living in your own Private Idaho
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato.
Don't go on the patio.
Beware of the pool,
blue bottomless pool.
It leads you straight
right throught the gate
that opens on the pool.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.
Keep off the path, beware the gate,
watch out for signs that say "hidden driveways".
Don't let the chlorine in your eyes
blind you to the awful surprise
that's waitin' for you at
the bottom of the bottomless blue blue blue pool.
You're livin in your own Private Idaho. Idaho.
You're out of control, the rivers that roll,
you fell into the water and down to Idaho.
Get out of that state,
get out of that state you're in.
You better beware.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.
You're living in your own Private Idaho.
Keep off the patio,
keep off the path.
The lawn may be green
but you better not be seen
walkin' through the gate that leads you down,
down to a pool fraught with danger
is a pool full of strangers.
You're living in your own Private Idaho,
where do I go from here to a better state than this.
Well, don't be blind to the big surprise
swimming round and round like the deadly hand
of a radium clock, at the bottom, of the pool.
I-I-I-daho
I-I-I-daho
Woah oh oh woah oh oh woah oh oh
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Get out of that state
Get out of that state
You're living in your own Private Idaho,
livin in your own Private.... Idaho
sing along
much love EP xx
SS
ok I will go along with the B52 theme, but not the well known Love Shack or Rock Lobster
but Planet Claire
Ahhhahhahhahh
She came from Planet Claire
I knew she came from there
She drove a Plymouth Satellite
Faster than the speed of light
Planet Claire has pink air
All the trees are red
No one ever dies there
No one has a head
Ahhhahhhahhahh
Some say she's from Mars
Or one of the seven stars
That shine after 3:30 in the morning
WELL SHE ISN'T
Ahhhahhhahhahhahhahh
sing along
lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve see you in my morning ♥xx♥
after some very very well deserved sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
I didn't say I knew who you were 3.16. Silly me for assuming you do have friends. There were alot of comments quoted last night. Why only say something about that one? Feel what I'm sayin'
goodnight BC sweet dreams
2:16 you intimated that I was aligned to a certain group here. I am not.
If you did read what I wrote initially you would notice I was basically saying , don't point fingers unless you have something to back it up!
betty boop cartoon banned for showing drug use
lol
Kapunua said...
Two of you have written me messages asking where I've been and if all was cool, and I thank you for that. I really do appreciate it. One I answered already, and one I owe an answer to. :)
My crow does this funny thing. When he's pissed off or frustrated and he can't reach the object of his frustration (a stranger, birds outside, leaves going by, the wind stirring the trees,) he will grab onto his toy and shake it like crazy, and bite it, peck it, and wing-slap it. Actually my dogs do the same thing. When they are thwarted or frustrated, they grab their chew-toys and start ripping them to shreds. It's cute when my pets do it.
It is not cute when people do it. Not once have I been in some sort of real-life situation of grief or anger or frustration and come to the blog to call people c--- or bitch or whatever. That's not to say that I haven't been in situations of grief or worry--obviously I have, and one of those situations of worry is pretty recent--and that's also not to say that if someone is needling me over that situation (you all know I'm talking about "Wizbef/Twuntburger") that I won't lose my cool and give it right back to them. But I have never found, say, one specific, unpopular target and taken it out on them, just 'cause they were there.
I would also never: take stuff written on a blog and send it out somewhere else in order to cause trouble; give up someone's personal info; anonymously quote out of someone's email in order to bait them; threaten to screencap their private info; call them such disgusting and vulgar names; try to exert my will on some web page over something as trivial as poetry and quotes and call them names when they didn't comply; insult people's families; (choose your weapon, because those people have pretty much done it all.) I have never been that mad, or if I have, then I have never acted on it in such ways that are, well, actually pretty goddamn emotionally unstable, if you ask me.
How is that acceptable in any form of society? In real life or on the internet? Would those people do that stuff in real life?
I'm tired of being the chew toy.
I don't do "fake nice" very well. I'm sure most of you have noticed that. Once someone treats me or my friends, or my family, so shabbily, well I am afraid that's about it for them. I did "fake nice" with my douchebag of an ex-boss for nine years out of necessity, in an enforced situation, and believe me he was pretty abusive to me. Of course, he never called me those exact names and he never acted that psycho to me, but he did eventually prove himself to be one of the biggest eaters of a huge bag of crap in the known universe. And I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire. I might if he wasn't, though. Like if I saw him, non-combusting, in the grocery store or something. ;)
So, I don't start junk, and I don't go psycho over stuff the way others do, but I also don't "fake nice" and I don't really care if those people like me or hate me. (Well, I care when they affect my real life, obviously, but hey.)
And it just galls me when I see other people having to "fake nice" to those kinds of people, especially when I perceive that they're doing it to keep the peace for Mayo - or for me. That's even worse. When I see others having to kowtow to that kind of person and it might be because they want to spare me anymore "chewing," it makes me feel really bad. I know that many people aren't sincere in their "nice-making" and it just irks me that I might be the cause of that. I feel really bad.
So there are those people who I feel I've put on the spot in that way, and then there are those who aren't being fake about it at all. There are those others who think, "Well, so and so had a bad day / was angry / whatever, so it's okay if they do those things." I don't know which I think is worse. Then there are the "Oh yes, it's so terrible what happens to you, oh my goodness how awful," people who seem to pretend that it's only "anons" who do that kind of stuff. The truth is that it's only been a few "anons" with stuff to say about me and my friends; the real hardcore crazy stuff has come from people who are signed in. I don't see how that is any better or more "honorable" to tell you the truth.
I'm not leaving the blog or anything, but here's what happened. The other day I was studying for my midterm and I had the open book in my lap. I was trying to take notes and I was writing down word after word but my brain was going, "Seriously, why is that okay? Why is that acceptable? Why is harassment winked at?" And I realized that I wasn't studying at all. I was dwelling on stupid internet drama. That was the first time that I was away from the blog and something from the blog was affecting me. The second that happened, I knew I had to take a few steps back. Why should I let that sort of person get to me? Why should I even give them the compliment of my time and energy? I shouldn't, but I was.
I'll definitely still pop in there to say hi, tell a story or two, share a link or a poem or some-such. But I just can't be letting that stuff get to me; especially not now, when I'm trying to focus on something important. I have a lot on my plate; not just school, but family members, some serious issues with other family members, illness, friends and their troubles, freaking world travel, a new upcoming job for which I am woefully unprepared so far, and some big choices to make. How in the hell did I let some wackjobs on an anonymous blog make me stop concentrating on my midterm? When if anything makes me stop studying, it should be something typical, like a video game or something. ;D
I will absolutely pop up here, and there, and blah blah blah, but I think that people like Fimble and Anima (and lately, many others) have the right idea when they just up and disappear for a while, coming in to say hi now and then or share something cool.
Well, that's that. I thank the two of you who contacted me, and also Solly and Princess who said hi on FB. :) I spend inordinate amounts of time there when I'm supposed to be studying. ;) Like now. Oh my gosh.
The weather here is a lovely 55 and I am stuck inside with all these goddamn books. I hope that some of you get the chance to go outside and frolic today!
12:00 PM, February 27, 2009
Smoke said...
Amen, amen and amen. :)
I hear you, Jules and I understand what you're talking about.
Jenn,
I miss that, too. :(
Well, gotta finish out the day.
Later folks.
1:53 PM, February 27, 2009
farawaysoclose said...
hi porchies!
anyone around?
hi RW and solly!
solly sorry you are in a shitty ass mood! i feel you! well not literally! i feel for you!
K i wanted to say that i totally get what you wrote in the last post. i very much understand what you said and i agree, it's not worth it effecting your real life. i am so sensitive i would have been long gone for sure. what i always hate about the abuse was that people used to say "K doesn't mind, so don't worry about it." but how can you not mind that?! just cos someone is pretty tough and says it doesn't matter, it doesn't make it right for people to keep having a go endlessly. and for us all to watch it happen in some kind of awkward uncomfortable daze is horrible.
so i do understand and i'm just sorry all the shit happens. and that's all the shit at mayo's, there has been plenty of ugliness there. cos mayo's is looking pretty desperate at the moment and that is sad.
3:35 PM, February 28, 2009
sdock10 said...
I read back through ya'll's convo about Mayo's and I'm in agreement from everything Jules said yesterday to everything that you guys just talked about.
But on a happier note, I bought new sheets today and I so can't wait to sleep on them. This time I bought the right size and everything. It's going to be fantastic!
4:24 PM, February 28, 2009
See, I believe the niceness has been fake for a long time now.
Sad!
Those comments say alot. They say alot about what has been going on for a long time. Veiled jabs, thinly disguised insults, two or three sets of rules depending upon what color your name appears and who your friends are.
Very sad.
Kapunua said...
actually pretty goddamn emotionally unstable,
That judgment coming from a person who tells strangers to have themselves aborted and to fuck off and die. Who calls other bloggers idiots and worthless.
That's a pillar of emotional and mental stablity.
Very, very sad.
Kapunua said...
Once someone treats me or my friends, or my family, so shabbily, well I am afraid that's about it for them.
You mean like if someone calls your friends stupid, lazy, worthless, dickweed, idiots it's ok for you to say whatever you want to them? If they call a friend of yours a whining loser, it's ok for you to them to crawl back in their mother's womb and have themselves aborted.
That's not offensive. Basically telling someone they should have never been born is not offensive, vile and vulgar?
You and reality don't meet often, do you. I'm worried for anyone still buying the bullshit you're selling.
Seriously worried
So it's okay for people like Amy, J, or 616 to openly dislike people but it's not okay for K or anyone else?
Read K's comment. She thinks it's ok to say whatever you want to somebody who's crapped on her friends.
It should be ok for 616, Amy and OPJ to do the same. Shouldn't it anon?
I believe the first blogger here to openly dislike another blogger and call them names was Kapu.
First it was BC. Remember the insults and names she was called after MWM. Then it was Siobhan. Then it was Mya, the OPS, 616, CTV, Amy.
Don't worry anon. It's been ok for Kapu to dislike and insult her fellow bloggers for a long time.
And Smoke, Fimble Star, and sdock fit into this how?
"First it was BC. Remember the insults and names she was called after MWM. Then it was Siobhan. Then it was Mya, the OPS, 616, CTV, Amy."
Yes, I remember the names that BC was called.
Vile ones by Amy, the OPS, Sister Midnite, and practically everyone else.
I also remember that Kap was the first one to say she was over it.
I also remember her explaining the comment she made to Wizbef after Wisbef made fun of her broken leg and her dead dog.
And I never remember her calling any of those others names. I remember you specifically always saying she did, but I don't remember her doing it.
I think you lie about her alot.
And I also agree with what she said on DM. Thanks for quoting it because I didn't get to read it. (I dont' like stat counters)....
I didn't quote it. Somebody else did. She has insulted all of those people. Ask them.
Amy and the OPS apologized to BC. Kapu never did. She never apolgizes for any of the vile things she says.
Wizbif wasn't the only one she made that abortion remark to either. She made it to another anon for calling Sdock a loser. That was ok right?
I think you lie about the things you don't want to remember.
I think it was earlier this week I remember reading a discussion about health issues. Kapunua, Smoke, Sdock, Ergo, Amy and Anons were all talking.
An anon said something about the probability of her condition being Multiple Sclerosis. Other than Kapunua who said something like...jeez I hope you are kidding (WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!), everybody appeared supportive to each other and it just seemed really sweet.
I guess this was fake niceness too.
*sigh*
According to Kapu it was anon. Smoke and Sdock were being "fake nice" and "kowtowing" to the evil Amy for Kapu's and Mayo's benefit.
Kapunua said...
And it just galls me when I see other people having to "fake nice" to those kinds of people, especially when I perceive that they're doing it to keep the peace for Mayo - or for me.
Smoke and Sdock agreed with everything Kapu said. I guess it was a "fake nice" dog and pony show. According to Kapu.
sighs with anon
Yeah, they did not come back after that.
I knew on Friday it was gonna kick off and sure thing there it went last night.
I wonder what's the next step in the plan?
I doubt I can even imagine.
*deep sigh*
farawaysoclose said...
hi porchies!
anyone around?
hi RW and solly!
solly sorry you are in a shitty ass mood! i feel you! well not literally! i feel for you!
K i wanted to say that i totally get what you wrote in the last post. i very much understand what you said and i agree, it's not worth it effecting your real life. i am so sensitive i would have been long gone for sure. what i always hate about the abuse was that people used to say "K doesn't mind, so don't worry about it." but how can you not mind that?! just cos someone is pretty tough and says it doesn't matter, it doesn't make it right for people to keep having a go endlessly. and for us all to watch it happen in some kind of awkward uncomfortable daze is horrible.
so i do understand and i'm just sorry all the shit happens. and that's all the shit at mayo's, there has been plenty of ugliness there. cos mayo's is looking pretty desperate at the moment and that is sad.
3:35 PM, February 28, 2009
resurrected wreck said...
^It's why I don't go back there anymore. It sad because it started out well, but I really do think it's time to pull the plug.
3:37 PM, February 28, 2009
I'm wondering what the next part of the plan is too. They did the same thing after dickweed came into the picture. I guess the goal is the same this time. To get Mayo and SS to feel sorry for them and tell theyre missed. Crawl to the porch and ask them to come back because they're his favorites. Same shit different month.
Other than Kapunua who said something like...jeez I hope you are kidding (WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!), everybody appeared supportive to each other and it just seemed really sweet.
I was there that night. Kapu was actually the nicest one there to that anon.
She has helped me in the past too. I just don't get how come you all keep up with lying about her to make her look bad. Why? So that people who like her, can start to hate her? I don't think it's going to happen. I like her. So do others. making up things she probably didn't say isn't going to change that.
"I'm wondering what the next part of the plan is too. "
What about YOUR plan of this "blitz" against her? Tell me this is more than one person starting a thing of lies against her from last night and today. How is what you are doing any different from what you are accusing the porchies??
and that's all the shit at mayo's, there has been plenty of ugliness there.
Faraway got that part right. There has been plenty of ugliness here for a very long time.
CTV hasn't been back since she was hunted down by Kapu and mocked and belittled at her own blog. She was in tears by the time Kapu was done with her.
But surely even Mayo and SS must be weary of this by now.
I guess they are just as addicted to the attention they get as those you crave their attention.
Fascinating!
I'm sure the fake nice was in regards to them talking to Amy, not the anon, but you just go ahead and keep on twisting your knickers.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I thought I had carpal tunnel syndrome from my little knowledge.
Turns out it is probably Multiple Sclerosis.
That was one fucking shock!
February 21, 2009 8:12 PM
Blogger Kapunua said...
8:12, I really hope you are kidding! That's awful!
Blogger Kapunua said...
8:12, have you got second and third opinions on that? I hope you "shop around" and look at as many options as possible.
February 21, 2009 8:24 PM
Blogger ergoproxy said...
me!
February 21, 2009 8:26 PM
Blogger sdock10 said...
Just say no!
February 21, 2009 8:26 PM
Blogger Smoke said...
Bwah!
February 21, 2009 8:26 PM
Blogger sdock10 said...
Bwahah! I was trying! Yay for Ergo!
February 21, 2009 8:27 PM
Anonymous 8:12 said...
Thanks all.
No one really knows what's going on inside our bodies/brains and what's waiting to rear its ugly head.
So in the meantime, be happy and have fun!
February 21, 2009 8:27 PM
Blogger Kapunua said...
8:12, that's the damn truth.
February 21, 2009 8:27 PM
YES WHAT A BITCH.
Anonymous said...
and that's all the shit at mayo's, there has been plenty of ugliness there.
Faraway got that part right. There has been plenty of ugliness here for a very long time.
CTV hasn't been back since she was hunted down by Kapu and mocked and belittled at her own blog. She was in tears by the time Kapu was done with her.
March 1, 2009 10:57 AM
She was in tears over SS stealing her remark to use on Mustard. They are both to blame.
What lies have been told this morning?
We're not lying anon. She called Mya an idiot. She called the OPS lazy and worthless. She told anons to have themselves aborted. She named dickweed by calling him dickweed. Wait. I'll go find all her insults for you. Would you like that?
SS didn't follow CTV to her blog to mock and belittle her. Kapu did that. She was relentless with CTV.
I really don't think you get it anon.
Why would anyone kid about the prospect of having MS? How do you think that would make someone vulnerable feel?
CTV heart was broken by SS that night. She hasn't been the same and I don't blame her for crying.
Anonymous said...
We're not lying anon. She called Mya an idiot. She called the OPS lazy and worthless. She told anons to have themselves aborted. She named dickweed by calling him dickweed. Wait. I'll go find all her insults for you. Would you like that?
March 1, 2009 11:00 AM
yes, please do!
Anonymous Anonymous said...
SS didn't follow CTV to her blog to mock and belittle her. Kapu did that. She was relentless with CTV.
March 1, 2009 11:02 AM
Quotes please or it didn't happen.
Kapunua said...
6:10, I don't care that you don't care, either. What, are you going to stick your tongue out at me, too?
And guess what? Without a name, you're kinda, well, nothing anyway.
January 27, 2008 6:14 PM
Anonymous said...
As long as someone has a voice the name is not important. Oh and my guess is that most people don't use their real names anyway. So using false names makes them somebody?? I am very confused???? (not really).
January 27, 2008 6:18 PM
Hahahaa You were Wizbef too, you signed in stupid fool!!
Wizbef, what is your problem with Kapunua? I saw the things you said abotu her dog. The way you hurt her the day after it died. The names you called her. Things you accused that night. Things you said about her family.
I wouldhave said alot worse things to you than she did.
So.... what is your problem? Why this "blitz" every few weeks against her?
I want to see more of these aaaaawful things she said to you. It's funny how you leave out the things you said to her first.
GO find them. Scurryscurr!!!
*scurry.... my bad
Bitch Went Nuts lyrics
(The answer you seek my son only poses more questions.
Ask many women why relationship has failed.
Each woman offer unique reason for demise.
One woman may say, "man could not commit."
Or, "man is douche, and is now free to make love to himself instead."
Another woman may say, "man had changed,"
or even, "man no longer satisfactory lover."
But my son, ask many men same question all over the world, "why has relationship failed?" Each man, each time, will give same, simple answer.)
The bitch went nuts.
She stabbed my basketball.
And the speakers to my stereo.
She called me 'cunt'
But nothing prepared me for
what I found when I came home.
Oh and I made my own bed. I lie in it.
You lie in yours. You lie, you lie, in yours.
But they want more, they're at my door with torches. Please leave me alone, you know. Just shut it. Just shut it. Just shut it.
The bitch went nuts.
She photoshopped my face
onto every boy who'd done her wrong.
And as she burned I telepathically into the brains of all her embittered rooms.
Oh, now, now they want more. They're at my door with torches. Scores, and scores, and scores to settle with themselves.
You would have thought I'd scorned them all.
They've got a doll of me, they're burnin', they're burnin', they're burnin', they're burnin', they're burnin' their own memories.
Why do they all go?
Why do they all go?
The bitch went nuts, y'all.
But everyone said she might.
Holy f**king shit.
Seriously now.
Now they want more. They're at my door with torches.
Scores and scores.
You would have thought I'd scorned them all.
They've got a doll of me, they're burnin'.
Why do they all go?
I'm not Wizbef. I didn't start a blitz. I was asked to provide proof. I am. If you don't want it don't ask.
I'm not Carrie either
Kapunua said...
Guess what, homeslice, I would have emailed you this to spare the blog this ridiculousness, but you don't even have a profile, thus forcing me to do this here, since you refuse to just get over it.
carrie said...
K, you still won't talk to me, despite apologies, entreaties, and assorted other crap.
kapunua said...
No Carrie, you never apologized, and what's more is that I don't really want or need you to, if you can understand that.
It's not your business who I talk to. Some anons, I know I've talked to them before. Others, I try to ignore them. It's just plain weird that you've paid that much attention. Also, I like it when I know where I stand with people. Some folks--anons especially--don't like me and they make that clear. They don't just snap randomly one day after spending a few weeks harassing me anonymously and then come out signed in and freak out, after I've spent time chatting and being friendly with them.
carrie said...
And guess what homeslice, you have talked to me, just under anon names.
kapunua said...
That's creepy.
carrie said... Are we both just pretending now? Do you know it's me and you just pretend not to know?
kapunua said...
No, I didn't know it was you. And again: that's creepy.
Lose face on the blog? WTF? That's the silliest threat I've ever heard. Man, go crazy, say what you want. O_o
And for the record, to everyone else: yeah, I was agreeing with those anons. Sure it bugs me if Mayo doesn't like me, but there's a good case for it. However it's out of my hands, so what can I do? That's my point.
I swear to god I'm so finished. I'm going to bed and I'll talk to some of you folks tomorrow, damn.
May 16, 2008 1:14 AM
This is boring me again. Just do what I said and ask the bloggers I named "anon".
11:12 I'm not wizbef. Find another excuse.
With CTV, her heart was broken by SS. Kapu went to CTV blog to tell her she was over reacting. I agree that Kapu was out of line that night. When someone is dealing with a broken heart, their feelings aren't "over reacting", you can't negate those feelings they are what they are. Kapu had no business telling CTV that she was over reacting. I don't think she "hunted" her, she was just giving her opinion which is what everyone does to Kapu only with harsher words.
But I have been a little mad at SS ever since that night. He didn't have to steal CTV's words like that..... they obviously meant a lot to her. I think to this day she is still nursing her broken heart over it.
11:07
I think the other anon is playing with you, asking you for evidence and all that.
It is a ploy to divert attention and then state you are harassing Kapunua and, eureka-she's the victim again.
Just sayin'!
I missed the stuff that SS and Kapunua did to CTV. What now? I want to know more.
No, I really want to see those insults! They must have been so much worse than anything on the blog so far.
I also want to see what others said to her first. I notice you leave that out alot.....
I already told you what she did to CTV, what they both did.
On the Christmas blog CTV had given SS the gift of words from her heart. Wise words.
Then SS took those words and he said them to Mustard. SS never made any bones about the fact that Mustard was his favorite, leaving many others out in the cold. He never gave CTV credit for the words. He just "gave" them away to his favorite.
CTV was shattered. Broken hearted, she was crying.
Kapunua went to CTV blog (under the pretense of wanting to keep it off the blog).... and told her that she was over reacting. CTV kept saying she wasn't. Kapu kept saying that she WAS. She said it wasn't a "big deal" and that "SS didn't mean to hurt you".
She made CTV's feelings non-valid. Not understanding how upset CTV was or not caring, she kept telling her that it wasn't as "important" as CTV made it out to be... that SS didn't mean it. Every time CTV would give a reason why she felt the way she did, Kapu would say that she was "wrong", that SS "probably didn't mean it". CTV was just not "allowed" to feel that way without being told she was wrong. No less than three times.
I don't think Kapu was trying to belittle her and I don't think SS was trying to hurt her. But they both DID and that is how it ended up.
Wizbef: you also told Cupcake that night (she just got out of the hospital) that next time she should try to overdose on "something lethal". It's the same night you made fun of Kap's dead dog.
EVER PERSON on this blog that night fought with you over those comments that you made.
Yet you stick to Kapu. Why?
And why did you say that to Cupcake who has never done anything to anyone?
Attention-seeking personality disorders,
victim syndrome, insecurity and centre of attention behaviour
Attention seeking and narcissism
The need for attention
Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. The emotionally mature person doesn't need to go hunting for these; they gain it naturally from their daily life, especially from their work and from stable relationships. Daniel Goleman calls emotional maturity emotional intelligence, or EQ; he believes, and I agree, that EQ is a much better indicator of a person's character and value than intelligence quotient, or IQ.
The emotionally immature person, however, has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure; to counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the centre of attention. It may be that the need for attention is inversely proportional to emotional maturity, therefore anyone indulging in attention-seeking behaviours is telling you how emotionally immature they are.
Attention-seeking behaviour is surprisingly common. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed: low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels of self-worth and self-love.
Kapunua's getting fat. She admits it.
Insecure and emotionally immature people often exhibit bullying behaviours, especially manipulation and deception. These are necessary in order to obtain attention which would not otherwise be forthcoming. Bullies and harassers have the emotional age of a young child and will exhibit temper tantrums, deceit, lying and manipulation to avoid exposure of their true nature and to evade accountability and sanction. This page lists some of the most common tactics bullies and manipulators employ to gain attention for themselves. An attention-seeker may exhibit several of the methods listed below.
Attention seeking methods
Attention-seeking is particularly noticeable with females so I've used the pronoun "she". Males also exhibit attention-seeking behaviour.
Attention seekers commonly exploit the suffering of others to gain attention for themselves. Or they may exploit their own suffering, or alleged suffering. In extreme forms, such as in Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy, the attention-seeker will deliberately cause suffering to others as a means of gaining attention.
The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.
The organiser: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organising everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the centre of attention.
The manipulator: she may exploit family relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions; although she may not harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury. Vulnerable family members are favourite targets. A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimised, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.
The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target.
yup yup
Anonymous Anonymous said...
The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.
Wizbef are you still taking shots at Cupcake?? Or Kapu or are you a different anon saying that Wizbef and CTV are doing the "poor me" act?
Or are you taking shots at the OPS who always talk about getting "crucified" on the blog?
Vulnerable family members are favourite targets. A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimised, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.
Isn't that the anons who claim that SS is "exclusive" with Mustard?
Or that "the porchies" set them up?
Or that they are left out by "the porchies"?
Or the people who say they are "crucified"?
Or CTV crying over SS?
you funny anon
me me me me me me me
Sounds more like Sdock and Elena. I feel sorry for both of them sometimes but they have to get their shit together and stop moping and whining. They both sounds like Eyore every day.
How much can you cry and whine and still decide not to change anything?
But the OPS DO get crucified. That is the difference.
The emotionally immature person, however, has low levels of self-esteem and self-confidence and consequently feels insecure; to counter these feelings of insecurity they will spend a large proportion of their lives creating situations in which they become the centre of attention.
creating a fantasy world or trying to control a blog
The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.
Crucified? You mean got caught trying to be anonymous? TWICE now, even though last time they blamed it on 'orange little bees"?
Last night was HYSTERICAL.
creating a fantasy world or trying to control a blog
March 1, 2009 11:58 AM
Amyranth?
I'm confused at who you are taking shots at.
The feigner:
when called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively uses the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present,
especially bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer them a tissue. There's little more plausible than real tears, although as actresses know, it's possible to turn these on at will. Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears. From years of practice, attention-seekers often give an Oscar-winning performance in this respect. Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed - even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed. It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.
Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.
March 1, 2009 12:02 PM
Mayo? FASC? Who?
I actually was a little upset to see who was agreeing with Kapu over on DM.
Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears. From years of practice, attention-seekers often give an Oscar-winning performance in this respect. Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed - even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed. It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.
CTV?
That info is very interesting and I think we would all fit into these categories at some time or other.
I guess for those who exhibit these behaviors for most of the time it is a very real problem.
I don't think that CTV's tears over SS's betrayal were crocodile tears. I think she was really heart broken.
Attention seekers commonly exploit the suffering of others to gain attention for themselves. Or they may exploit their own suffering,
Are you the same one who accused Wendy of doing that the other night with her brother? Using him as an excuse and "emotional manipulation" I think was your word.
Perhaps 12:10 is unable to experience empathy.
Hmmmmm...
No
no
no
no
no
no
no
I'm going pee. It'll be the best pee ever.
All those quotes made me think of Gerard Way.
Anybody we don't know about 12:09? I only know what I'm told about that place.
Wizbef, you never found me all those insults you say Kapu threw at you and at others. I'm still waiting!!
Can you also quote for me..... when Elena told Siobhan to pull the wings off flies or when OPJ told Siobhan that she enjoyed watching orphanages burn down?
How about when you told Cupcake to overdose with something lethal? Or when Amyranth told you to go eat a bag of assholes?
or when OPJ did her "orange little bees" rant after she slipped up?
Or all the disgusting things said about BC after MWM? Can we have copies of those too please?
Last night was HYSTERICAL.
March 1, 2009 12:02 PM
I think you could use some Hysteria treatment. The old fashion kind. Something has to help.
I am spartacus not wizbef. Get the name right.
Whom pray tell are you 12.20? Hmmm?
An anon who knows a little about "WIzbef" just leave it at that....
Can I guess who you are? I could beat your record for being wrong.
CTV's pain was real. Her heartbreak at SS's betrayal of her was real. And she was told that she was wrong. That she misunderstood. That her feelings were "over reacting" and not valid.
12:20
I think the point is that many people have said some unsavory things over the lifetime of this blog.
I don't know why you keep asking for more and more evidence. I suggest you reread all posts from the beginning and you will find plenty of evidence from lots of people.
I have not heard anybody say this morning that Kapunua is the only person to say hurtful things to people.
Why do you want to imply that that is what's being said?
I really just want proof that Kapunua said all of those things. I guess I missed alot but I dont' remember any of that and I have lurked around alot.
I AM SPARTACUS!
Because it's what they do 12:27. There can only be one real victim here and we all know who that is. You're with her or against them.
The Gospel According to 12:20
You lie! I AM SPARTACUS! sET MY PEOPLE FREE!
So there are those people who I feel I've put on the spot in that way, and then there are those who aren't being fake about it at all. There are those others who think, "Well, so and so had a bad day / was angry / whatever, so it's okay if they do those things." I don't know which I think is worse. Then there are the "Oh yes, it's so terrible what happens to you, oh my goodness how awful," people who seem to pretend that it's only "anons" who do that kind of stuff. The truth is that it's only been a few "anons" with stuff to say about me and my friends; the real hardcore crazy stuff has come from people who are signed in. I don't see how that is any better or more "honorable" to tell you the truth
Sounds if she is calling out the one's who do not try and defend her. She is putting alot of "guilt" on certain people which i for one think is selfish. She has come on here and said she doesn't need defending, yet she sounds like she is putting out a guilt trip if you speak to the one's that don't like her.
Hey Mayo
Just wanted to stop in and say hello. I hope your day is going well. I’m off to taxi Mom around. The snow is deep and she really shouldn’t be going out but I know it’s something she wants so I will do it. I guess I’m always just so afraid she’ll fall and get hurt.
You take care. Talk to ya later.
Elena (Eeyore, yes I am oh yes I am) (oh and I do wish the anon would spell my name right. Two E's)
The online victim: this person uses Internet chat rooms and forums to allege that they've been the victim of rape, violence, harassment, abuse etc. The alleged crime is never reported to the authorities, for obvious reasons. The facelessness and anonymity of the Internet suits this type of attention seeker. [More]
The victim: she may intentionally create acts of harassment against herself, eg send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbour, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion that she herself may be responsible. However, a background check may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen to her.
In many cases the attention-seeker is a serial bully whose behaviour contains many of the characteristics listed under the profile of a serial bully, especially the Attention-Seeker. The page on Narcissistic Personality Disorder may also be enlightening, as may be the page on bullies in the family.
Feigning victimhood is common to serial bullies and this aspect comes to the fore in most cases once the bully has been held accountable and he or she cannot escape or rely on their support network. The tactic of denial followed by immediate counterattack followed by feigning victimhood is described on the serial bully page.
The victim: she may intentionally create acts of harassment against herself, eg send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbour, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial evidence in support of her claim.
You mean OPJ and the "faked email" and "PROFIE"?
From Kapunua's journal,
"
ZOMBIES: I KILL THEM, YES. Well, in Resident Evil I kill them. I also: have nightmares about them, dress up as them, do movies about them and write stories about them. I think most stories are better with some zombie action. My own stupid novel has brain-sucking zombies in it. My first "encounter" with zombies was in the movie "Mausoleum" which still gives me the shivers to this day. I saw that crap when I was 10 and it scarred me for life. It was great!"
This comment came AFTER Wendy's comment to Kapu about "killing zombies", look at the date. It was AFTER Wendy's "rant" if you want to call it that.
I think this is a clear shot at Wendy. It's like Kapu can't just forget about it and move on and now she is taking it to her live journal.
Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate
"KUNG FU: Another self-definition thing for me. This is my therapy. I go twice a week (wish I could do all three!) and I never leave the kwon but that I feel accomplished, refreshed, young, joyful and loved. Some of my closest friends are my training brothers and sisters. In fact on Wednesday the Empress said to me, "I think that when new people come into our school, they see that we have something awesome. Not just the Kung Fu, but us. We all seem to really like each other. I think people understand that and they want to be a part of it." She is a wise young girl. The "family" aspect is a big part of Kung Fu for me. Even if the family is dysfunctional in some ways, heck, what family isn't? Anyway. Kung Fu is my fountain of health, physical, emotional and even mental. :)"
Perfect example right there.
BC also takes kickboxing and gets good grades after going back to school. But to listen to Kapunua her karate and her college and her grades are the be all and end all of everything. She is constantly "excited" about those things and always writing about them. As if it was a bigger deal than when anyone else does it.
Also, if your idea of hitting people and getting hit is "mental and spiritual" then.... really how healthy is that?
Why do you continue to pick, pick, pick? She isn't even here anymore, doesn't that satisfy you enough?
The serial bully:
* is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
* excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
* uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
* is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
* is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict
* is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic
* relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
* cannot be trusted or relied upon
* fails to fulfil commitments
* is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
* is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy
* exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
* in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy
* holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret
* is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
* has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion
* is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
* displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
* shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
* flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
* refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
* is evasive and has a Hou
dini-like ability to escape accountability
* undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask
* is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them
* is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
* may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
* is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account
* gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to
* is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)
* poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions
* when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
* is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
* often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
* is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation
* is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty
* is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy
* is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire
* is always a taker and never a giver
* is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
I actually am getting sick reading her journal. It's nothing but how great her life is, how great her grades are, if she fails is't someone else's fault, how great her friends are and how much BETTER and more interesting she thinks her life is. I'm getting a little sick.
This was posted after Amy told Smoke to take her meds.
Anonymous said...
Fakeness makes me uncomfortable. Fake caring is worse then not caring at all.
(Waits for "just because I fought with someone and accused them of ruining the blog and bitched at them when they wouldn't listen to meeeeee... Doesn't mean I don't care"!!!)
February 21, 2009 2:19 PM
I thought Kapunua didn't post as anon.
* exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
OPJ and the Frank dildo?
* is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity
Amyranth and her "guidelines?
Then the obvious solution is to not read it and move on with your own life.
It's like this blog. A train accident. I can't stop looking.
Amyranth and her "guidelines?
March 1, 2009 12:59 PM
nope
Reading her live journal is like a case study in all the major psychotic people.
Funny, the "sex" one wounded just like OPJ and the "cencorship" one sounded just like Amyranth.
CUNT
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