What can I give her that she doesn't already have?

I recently received a text message from a very good friend:

“You watch grinch? What the fuck are they singing?”

I replied:

“Been a while: Ah-boo-doe-ray, Ah-boo-doe-ray. Or something like that. But what I really wanna know is why santa is such a dick to rudolph.”

This was my friends reply:

“Donner a dick too.”

And because I can’t let anything go without an overdone, unnecessary, crack-pot analysis, I replied again:

“Yeah, what up with that. Nice message to send kids…youre different and I dont like you, so fuck you until I need you to pull my sleigh. Then I like you. Santa almost push rudolph over the edge.”

My friend was probably thinking "Why did I even ask?"

But, yeah Santa is pretty much a dick to Rudolph. I believe he says something to the effect of "Pity, and he had potential, too.” And my friend was right, Donner was a dick. Desperate to prove himself a worthy sperm donor, he makes Rudolph cover up his depreciatory genetic mutation. Explaining to his son that there are more important things in life than comfort, like self-respect.

The message: If you don't fit in, you aren't worth shit. So suck it up until you either fit in or someone needs you for something.

And then everyone tries to take it back and pin the "reindeer of the year" award on Rudolph. Kids have to see through that.

(Clarice knew what was up, though. Right from the beginning she knew Rudolph was the shit.)

So, I say to Santa and the rest of the fuckers in this world...just because someone doesn’t fit your image of what “a something” should be you think that they are incapable? Not worthy? Without feelings?

"Just wait, and watch your back."





And, of course I had to look that shit up, so here it is:

Welcome Christmas

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Come this way!

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day.

Welcome, Welcome
Fah who rah-moose
Welcome, Welcome
Dah who dah-moose
Christmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Welcome, welcome Christmas
Day


Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.
http://www.seuss.org/seuss/welcome.xmas.html




p.s. a lifetime supply of it.



(poke)