Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Well tempered.

“Something with poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell.”
-Wicked Witch of the West, The Wizard of Oz





Once upon a fork in the road...

In the corner a ratty green sofa sits butted up against a water ring stained end table. There are at least four three inch burn holes in the snagged, stained fabric. Heavy, dark drapes cover the window. The time of day is a complete mystery to anyone who has spent any time here and time is all but spent.

The sofa, the room smells like piss and acid. Pizza boxes, broken plastic forks and unwanted, half-eaten food are surrounded by empty beer bottles and overfilled ash trays. A bent spoon sits on the coffee table.

Around the corner, the kitchen cupboards are bare, the fridge empty. It’s water and anti-acids for dinner; anything else would be a waste.

“Have you seen your family?”

“Well, you should. I know they miss you.”

The visit was brief and I was grateful to have had the opportunity, but for some reason I can’t help but be thankful for decisions I made long ago. I emerged almost unscathed, at least in that respect. I wish there was more I could do.

"Call me if you need anything."

In that dark room past, present and future all at once delivered upon us both, redemption.

"Yeah, I will."






p.s. it is round there aren't any sides.

5,047 comments:

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Original Punk J said...

DW's a cool person who got this lovely screen name courtesy of someone else here.

DW stands for "Dickweed". O_o

I likes DW. We have fun there. :)

mya said...

Oh, ME!

toujours said...

well, it's good to see you guys here, j.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, it wasn't TJ. This guy was just driving me nuts with so many questions, and then he keeps waiting for me to go online just for him to start harrassing me X_x

I'm exhausted :p

toujours said...

oooh, that's not good bc. i hope you can shake him, but for sure you shouldn't spend time answering his questions if he's bugging you.

Amyranth said...

BC, that doesn't sound good.

GO MYA!

elena said...

Oh, oh, am I me again??????

Original Punk J said...

Thanks, TJ!

Mya, I just meant the anons. Glad you didn't let them get to you. We looked at your soaps and lotions yesterday; they look really nice! And you can choose the scents?

Wha's up, Ameeeee!

Amyranth said...

Elena, you're lower case again!

Hallo J!

toujours said...

were you someone else elena? hello. :)

Original Punk J said...

Hello Elena! I see you've "gone small" again...hmmm. I like it. :) What's happening?

mya said...

Hi, Elena!


OPJ, I figured that was what you were talking about. But I would hardly call them vulture bites. That makes them sound much more powerful than they really were.

mya said...

BC, someone is harrassing you?

Anonymous said...

Hi there Elena. Mya, not exactly, but he's being a nuisance.

And to think i thought he was an interesting guy.

Which reminds me, I'll be right back.

Original Punk J said...

So true, Mya. You know, I kind of thought of them as small yappy dogs, those ones that nip at your heels? Yep, that's my visual. ;)

On another note, ladies, I finally finished reading The War of the Worlds. Oh hallelujah!

Anonymous said...

That's awesome J. How was it? Boring? ^_^

toujours said...

well, what did you think of it j.? did you like it?

Amyranth said...

Augh, okay, I gotta dash. Bedtime for me!

Goodnight Lovelies, Mayo and SS!

toujours said...

lol bc, nice automatic assumption there. why would it be boring?

toujours said...

good night amyranth.

Anonymous said...

Goodnight Amy, sweet dreams, and this coming from the Easter Bunny ^_^

TJ, I have no idea actually :/

toujours said...

you crack me up, bc. :)

Original Punk J said...

Goodnight Amy, see you later!

BC, hideously boring, to me at least. Remember I told you about all the description? That's about all it was. Hardly any dialog, and the ending just sort of...faded out. No big climax or anything.

TJ, I'm guessing you're figuring out that no, I didn't like it. :D BC and I had talked about it on email, and I told her I was bored with it but was determined to finish it. So I did.

Anonymous said...

That sounds so boring J :(

If there's no plot or suspense, or at least a bit of drama, then it's something that I won't be interested in reading.

There has to be substance.

toujours said...

oh, that's too bad, j. i haven't read it since around high school, but i don't recall it being so bad. but then, i like dickens and will read shakespeare for fun, so maybe my taste isn't much to gauge it by, huh?

:)

ergoproxy said...

hello

toujours said...

it gets so lonely here sometimes.

toujours said...

hi ergo, did you have a good day?

Original Punk J said...

TJ, if you like long sentences, the overuse of the word "tumultuous", lack of description of other characters referenced in the text, brief instances of action, and boring antagonists (the Martians), then THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU!

Honestly, I wanted to read it because it's considered a classic. Unfortunately, it just didn't do it for me. :P

ergoproxy said...

HI TJ BC Elena J Amy
any anons

ergoproxy said...

oops and the charming Mya

toujours said...

boring usually suits me just fine, j. maybe i'll have to read it again.

ergoproxy said...

I had a nice enough day TJ
but the yr 10's are so frustrating, when they have an easy assignment, class time to do it all to get an A and they'd rather sit and talk and generally waste the rooms oxygen.

But you get to the point you don't care, I help the ones doing it and the others can just fail

Original Punk J said...

Hey Ergo, what's up? Elena's lost her internet again, lots of wind. She's actually reading her goodnight post to L right now, who's copying it down so we can post it for her...O_o

toujours said...

wow, it sounds like it was kinda an irritating day at school, though, ergo. are you okay?

Anonymous said...

Hi there Ergo

toujours said...

oh, poor elena. that sucks. :(

Original Punk J said...

I think that was part of her comment, TJ! :D

Those little weasels, Ergo. Beat one with the other, that's what we say here. ;D

Not really. But sometimes you want to!

ergoproxy said...

TJ it is irritating but you just have to know when you've done all you can

on a brighter note my yr 12 girl I tutored finished today, they had an assembly and the yr 12's all got called out, given bright helium balloons and then they all walked to the front of the school and released them, it was lovely

then I skipped out while I had a break and had a glass of wine with her parents to celebrate


AND

as I was typing before I heard a "cheeeeeep" and went out and all my eggs are hatching!!
:D
(we aren't keeping them though I'm giving them to a lady from work)

toujours said...

oh, eggs hatching is a good way to celebrate the end of a work day. :)

i'm glad that there were other things today to balance the yr 10s, ergo.

Anonymous said...

as I was typing before I heard a "cheeeeeep" and went out and all my eggs are hatching!!

-----------------------------

Awwww :)

Original Punk J said...

Oh cool Ergo! Hatching eggs! How wonderful! Are you going to take pictures? Please please please?

ergoproxy said...

I will when they're finished, there are about 5 out and the other eggs bar 1 have cracks, the hen was out though as the chicks were out so she was over them , not with the eggs so I barricaded them into the box to keep her there

Original Punk J said...

Great! Thanks, Ergo, that'll be something to look forward to. :)

Ladies, I believe I'm going to head off to bed. L's going to post Elena's comment in a few.

Goodnight Ergo, TJ, BC, Mya, Martha, everybody! Nice to see you all.

Goodnight Mayo, I want to read and think about your post some more before I comment on it. Please don't wait up on me to do that, you'll never get any rest.

love, faith, hope, chicklets, boring Martians

toujours said...

it reminds me of the chicks we used to raise when i was kid. we didn't hatch them, we got them in the mail. but i remember their tiny little sounds. so cute. :)

toujours said...

good night j.

Anonymous said...

Goodnight J sweet dreams

ergoproxy said...

goodnight J
sweet dreams

I'm so glad elena can get through somehow

ergoproxy said...

the chicks are gorgeous TJ

Original Punk J said...

SS! Baby!

How on Earth are you, honey? I hope you're great. Great, wonderful, and fantastic.

Or at least awake and upright. Some days, that's all I want, y'know? ;D

Sending you warm hugs to keep you toasty. And mittens, and thick socks. :)

Goodnight, Precious. I love you.

My heart to yours, always.

toujours said...

you have interesting birds, too, if i remember correctly, right ergo? not your run-of-the-mill poultry.

ergoproxy said...

they are Barred Plymouth Rocks they have b&w striped feathers and so look spotted, and they are big birds too
the chicks are black with a yellow spot on their head, yellow of wings and a yellow bum

toujours said...

they sound really cute! a spot on their heads? *hee*

ergoproxy said...

what the chick looks like

Anonymous said...

Aww they're so cute Ergo ^_^

Anonymous said...

goodnite

toujours said...

it's like a little punk chicken! :)

toujours said...

good night anon. are you well? sweet dreams to you.

ergoproxy said...

goodnight anon

mya said...

Damn! What a great movie that was! And all the actors are wonderful!

mya said...

Hi, Ergo!

mya said...

Cute chicks!

mya said...

OK, it's late and I'm going to bed now. Hope everyone has a great evening!

Anonymous said...

Mayo,

Dude, you know I really wanted to talk to you tonight, however, the Powers-That-Be (my internet provider) have all conspired against me. Well, at least it came up long enough that I could go back to “e”lena. That whole “E”lena scared me!

I fear change.

So as I write this for my friends to post I’m sure my internet provider is making up shit to keep me entertained. Seriously, PCP Error 800.4 Acceleration Backbone? Say What? That’s just one of the error messages I’ve got tonight, but I think that one is my favorite. And I’m not gonna call them again, cause I’m afraid that if I do and they said the word “hiccup” to me I’d lose it. So Mayo, I’ll just have to keep my thoughts locked in my head tonight and maybe I’ll get to share them with you tomorrow night. Of course, by that time I’ll have another whole day of thoughts to add. This really sucks. One quick thought before I go. Even the best counterpart is just a poor copy of the original.

Take care.

Night Mayo.

Elena (hiccups and…backbones)

P.S. I have to be little in blue but big in black. By the way Mayo, is your M gonna be big in blue?

Anonymous said...

Goodnight mya and elena.

Anonymous said...

He's an old man. He has earned his big "M".

toujours said...

good night mya. thnak you l. for posting elena's good night.

i think it's time for me to get started on writing my own. i'm feeling tired.

good night bc, good night ergo. good night any lingering lurking anons.

sweet dreams everyone.

ergoproxy said...

hi Mya!

goodnight Mya!!


sweet dreams

goodnight elena even though you aren't here

I was thinking of getting back to e'rgoproxy too, the E makes me feel odd

ergoproxy said...

goodnight TJ sweet dreams

hi anon, maybe he's a young man and just really already deserves a big M?
;]

Anonymous said...

Goodnight TJ, sweet dreams.

ergoproxy said...

i iz back to little e

Anonymous said...

You look pretty now ergo

ergoproxy said...

thank you anon, I was kinda used to it that way,
no need to change now :]

Anonymous said...

hi anon

Anonymous said...

Hi BC

ergoproxy said...

are you well anon?

Anonymous said...

Yes :)

You?

ergoproxy said...

I am thanks, bit of an annoying day but good now

miranth said...

Hi - I have to catch up and do some chores but I will check back.

I agree with J that DW is cool. I appreciate his hosting skills. :)

I also agree with elena and ergo. Something about the lack of caps and the uniformity of the x-height appeals to my designer's eye. :) (No offense intended to those who prefer capitals.)

Checking back in a bit...

Anonymous said...

Hi there miranth

toujours said...

mayo,

there are days when all we can see of ourselves are our faults. i suppose this is true for everyone. when i feel like that, i believe that what i am seeing is my core, worthless and tarred, something that is usually hidden by the happy distractions. i think that is all i am.

but whatever our faults, whatever it is that we have done in our lives that wasn't up to the expectations of our best selves, you know that those don't make up the sum total of who we are.

even in the limited world we have created for ourselves here, even in the little sliver of yourself that you have shared with us over all these months, i have seen someone complex, someone with a myriad of moods and motives, someone angry with himself and kind with others.

none of us are ever just what we believe ourselves to be in those sharp times.

and when you feel like your heart has curdled inside you, when you feel there is nothing you can ever do or say that will be welcomed, when you look inside yourself and want to peel shreds from your soul because only the pain seems appropriate, that's precisely when you have to get up and go to the people who are important to you.

you don't even have to show them what is wrong, you just have to breath in the fresh air of their companionship, just have to make contact with those who you love.

because the longer you stay inside, the more tangled and vicious the path becomes, and you lose sight of what is true. after awhile, the darkness becomes cannibalistic.




you know i wish you well, every day.

good night, mayo.

Anonymous said...

Goodnight toujours, sleep well.

miranth said...

Hi BC! Did you receive my last email? I think I replied to your last one. I can check in a bit.

How are you? Is your back feeling better?

PS - I don't know if DW is male. I just have a feeling. I successfully trust my gut instinct, if my grades can serve as proof. I rarely studied.

Anonymous said...

Miranth, yep, I got it :)

My back is feeling much better, thank you, although I have a distinct habit of cracking my jaw all day.

Anyways, how are you? It's so good to see you here.

miranth said...

Hi! I am okay. I slept after work or I'd be sleeping right now!

I am glad you are feeling better! Is your viral infection gone? I hope so. That sounded quite painful. :( I was reading the other day that some infections may be spread through (animal) food sources, but there's no definitive proof.

I am still packing and figuring things out. Computer access is going to be a problem unless I use the library's. I need it for work though, so I may splurge on a new laptop. (Panera will be next door!) My brother who works with computers will know what to do. He fixed my 'ancient' Mac, apparently. :)

Computers made him rich during the sixties/seventies, so he has reason to respect them. :)

ergo - are you still here?

Goodnight TJ!

ergoproxy said...

hi miranth

just had a beer with hubby sitting out the front in the cool

you're well?

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the moving Miranth.

I feel okay now. The virus thing just made me feel really yucky and ill on some days :/

miranth said...

Yes, I am ergo. Things have settled down a bit. I am very grateful! (though I detest boredom :)

How are you? I am glad that you have more knowledge about what your goals are or are not as the case may be. When you are free to make choices, sometimes its difficult to know what is best to do, so epiphanies are appreciated all the more. :)

miranth said...

BC - It sounded terrible. How are you besides the physical problems?

I know physical problems lead to stress in other areas. Its a fact of life, unfortunately. :(

ergoproxy said...

very true Miranth
It helps that I have the option, through care with our finances in the past few years we are in a fortunate position, our business is doing well so that also helps
And hubby is quite happy for me not to work as well, knowing though that I enjoy it and I will still keep my private tutoring students and that financially is almost the same as I'd have going back, and especially if time wise I'd have to stop tutoring it really wouldn't make us any better off

glad your moving prep is going ok, it's always a bit of a trying time

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm not gonna lie, the episode had also affected me mentally, stressfully, and also with sleep.

I'm slowly trying to go back to my normal sleeping routine. All these weeks, I've been staying up past 3or so in the morning so I didn't had to spend all night worrying about whether I was gonna get worse.

I kinda got nervous sleeping at night during all of that.

ergoproxy said...

BC I hope your sleep gets back to normal soon, that would affect me worse than the virus, I don't do sleep deprivation very well at all

Anonymous said...

Thanks Ergo. I don't do either. It just makes you feel blah and horrible when you don't get enough sleep.

The last many weeks, I was trying to force myself to stay up, all because I was consumed by fear.

Not to
mention that a small part of me was angry with myself for not taking better precautions at preventing it.

It was pretty bad.

And that's pretty much the reason why I'm seriously considering taking yoga and tae kwon do. I'm supposed to start signing up for it tomorrow.

miranth said...

Thanks ergo. And I am happy to hear you have options - good planning on your part - and your husband's. You are successful at tutoring and have flexibility of scheduling at least somewhat, I am sure, so that is a good idea. I am also glad your business is successful. You have talents in many arenas (cooking, baking, writing, etc :) and I am glad you've seen such success with them.

BC - Changing a sleep routine is difficult! Especially if you're worried. I find a hot water bottle and a glass of wine helps these days. If you are too tired when you sleep, you may sleep 'wrong' and pull muscles. I do that fairly often :/ I do understand the stress though, especially when it takes a while to heal! Patience is a virtue that is hard to possess in some of us ;)

Anonymous said...

My mom keeps telling me the same thing about patience Miranth :)

I have no wine though, but wished I did. But during the past week or so, when I lay down, five or ten minutes later, I'm knocked out, so I guess that's good.

miranth said...

Ay, BC - You are not the only one lacking patience - let me tell you! I once sprained my ankle over the summer, then sprained it again! The doc put me in a cast. When it was loose (the swelling went down) I poured water in it so they would take it off. They took it off, but put another one on. I was sooo pissed.

And now, let's just say, I knew it was going to snow today before it started. My ankle was throbbing as an indicator. :(

So it is best to be patient and follow doctor's orders - no matter how little you may like them! :/

I am glad you are tired enough to sleep soundly though. We recuperate when we sleep. :)

miranth said...

ergo - did you see reports about how driving when sleep deprived can be as bad as drinking and driving?

That is scary to contemplate.

ergoproxy said...

oh definitely, driving is the cause of so many accidents, hubby came across a guy in a burnt out car, ended up he'd fallen asleep.
So many accidents around here are either sleep or speed (and sometimes alcohol)
I know sleep deprivation can cause so many problems but people often don't connect them

I suffer from insomnia but am treated so it no longer worries me at all

when I developed it, it was terrible!

miranth said...

ergo - especially as you are so affected by sleep deprivation!

I am too, but with enough caffeine, I can fake it pretty well ;) but that's not necessarily a good thing, when your higher brain functioning is impaired! People get the wrong impression. :)

ergoproxy said...

I can stay up if I am out or have to,and caffeine is fine when it's only occasional but when every night you can't fall asleep or you wake up and then can't go back to sleep it affects your whole mood, and health, different to just being overtired.
And when it happens every night it becomes a big problem very quickly

anyway great to talk but it's my dinner time so I shall bid you farewell!

miranth said...

ergo - Yes, I agree. I have had struggles in that direction myself! And it does effect one's mood - and when dealing with others, they may not understand (and take things personally), and that is a very important issue as well as the health concerns. :(

Sorry if it read like I belittled the condition! Not my intention at all. I just try to put a positive face on most issues, however foolishly.

Enjoy your dinner!

ergoproxy said...

oh, just calling back,I didn't think that at all miranth, but I do like to qualify for anyone reading who may not realise
(as I now we have a number of readers)

bye!!

miranth said...

We have a number of readers! Now I feel self-conscious ergo! :D

But yes, clarifying is never a bad idea. So much is subject to interpretation on the net.

Bye BC - Did you fall asleep? I understand if you did. Continue to take care of yourself please! *hugs*

Amy and LEWIS! - I left you messages at my place. Sorry for the delay! :) and I appreciate your kindesses.

Did you get my last email lewis?

Mya - I may be joining you down there! My friend is already there.

(I like North Carolina too though. We'll see.)

MissT - For the short hop I am making, it shouldn't be too bad. If I move out of state, I have a lot more work to do! Thank you for your kind wishes. I hope everything is going well over there? I know Fim was excited about some promised snow. You guys can have some of ours if you want - plenty to spare! :D

Wendy - Take your time if need be. I know I sent a LONG missive! I hope you feel better and take care. Call me when you have time!

BC - And I realize I sent you two emails! I overdid it, I think.

I meant to say, it was nice to see you stop by PH and CC. I didn't have time to say hi then, but I am glad you made it by. Please take care of yourselves! Good luck with the friend troubles PH and Cuppie, that is good news about your grandfather. I admire your grandma, as I believe I read she was trying to provide most of his care herself!

Mayo - Thanks! I wrote bunches yesterday. (BTW - In case it wasn't clear, Boy G likes women from the waist up!) I laughed when I saw him say that on TV as I always wondered! And sorry for the stupid joke.

Small minds are easily amused.

Good luck, and in case I am not back by, enjoy the weekend everyone!

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

It's Friday, fucking finally. Now I'm not sure if Fridays mean anything to you, but for me they mean I'm about to get 2 whole days without staring at checks and money and dollar signs and computer screens and adding machines and telephones and people asking questions. Yep, as a trade, I get 2 days of myself staring at myself, talking to myself, arguing with myself, analyzing myself, questioning myself, and pretty much just getting tired of myself.

Good thing it's only 2 days, huh? Yeah, I know.

So anyhow, I hope today finds you better than yesterday, but not quite as good as you'll be tomorrow.

How's that?

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. always room for improvement.

Anonymous said...

Hiiiiiiiii Mayoooooooo! =)

*feels like aliens are busting out of her head*

*and fingers!!*

*squirks, yes, squirks, and growls all fidgity idgity!!!*

Argh! Stop!

*breathes deeply and calms*

*for a moment*

Um, how are you doing today, BigM?

So did the drinking help? You know that problem is still going to be there today.

Guilt, and awareness, of your own actions can eat you up if you are particularly empathic. You really have to deal with that which is bothering you.

As well as the fact you seem to have peeved people off and you seem to be owing them.

Er, and if that wasn't you drinking,Big M, and it was an anon, the same deal to you, sweetie!

Anonymous said...

S - SSSSSSSSSS!

*grabs SS's hands*

*twirls him around in super fast circles, with his feet flying off the ground*



*collapses dizzily on ground*



Miss reading you around. =)

Anonymous said...

Good grief!

How the heck am I going to get to sleep tonight? O_O

Happy Friday all. =)

Anonymous said...

We ♥ Carrie.

Anonymous said...

*tucks Socky under arm and runs away!*

sdock10 said...

Whoaaaah, wha? Hey!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! This is fun!

Who moved the earth?

ergoproxy said...

morning sdock hope friday is a good one for you

Mayo I'm off to bed, and I will hopefully get a sleep in, well it is saturday and I deserve it and....well we'll see in the morning I suppose, but I can hope. It's getting so hot here, it was 35C today , 95F with up around 80% humidity, and tomorrow is supposed to be hotter, yay for the monsoon, though we need the rain, some areas are getting rather a pounding.
So ther is your aussie weather report for today, lol , as if you really need to know that, but sleeping at night becomes a bit less comfortable.
I suppose you're all rugged up. I wish!!
wishing you sensitivity, response, resilience and stamina
much love EP xx

SS
are you cold? or are you hot?
and would you link your finger, put it on your hip and go "tssss" if I asked you that?
sending you a blotter, watermarked paper and a calligraphy set
lotsa love EP xx

goodnight blogbelieve, see you in my morning
♥xx♥


PP!!
my little possum pals were back and I fed them some apple, out of my hand!
awwwwwww
thought of you!!

ergoproxy said...

hey wow I was writing that and you were there!!
I didn't see you before I started

*cue spooky didgeridoo music*

*for that aussie feel :]*

sdock10 said...

*yells*

Sweeeeeeeeet Dreeeeeeams, Ergo!

ergoproxy said...

ss
that should be "would you lick your finger and go "tssssssss"

ergoproxy said...

*yells back*

thaaaaaaaaaanks sdooooooock

Anonymous said...

*suddenly halts at sound of didgeridoo music*

Gidday, Ergo!

*tucks Socky tighter under one arm*

*gives her a pretty distraction*

They are very tame little possums, aren't they!

I thought of you today, too,when I was talking to a sculptor. After admiring his cockatoo, I mentioned how popular his work would be in Australia.
Turns out he is Australian.
*slaps own face for obvious lack of brain cells*

So, yes, all things Australia = Ergo.
Lovely to be here with you at the same time. =)

Right. Got to zoom.

*hitches, Socky tight and runs back through DM*

Anonymous said...

Word to POSSUM.

Drunk Anon, I don't care who you are, but if you were really in pain and needed to reach out last night, why mock yourself?

Mocking your own suffering does nothing for you. It is a cowardly act and will make people doubt you the next time you actually reach for help. Did no one ever tell you of the boy who cried wolf? Don't downplay your pain. You will never be free of it if you do not acknowledge it and try to deal with it. Despite that you may have turned those close to you against you, people tend to be more forgiving when you finally admit that you made mistakes and need their help. And as it sounds like those close are tired of reaching for You, I suggest you give your own effort one more try...

Have Courage.

And may I add, I did not find the mocking of that anon (whether or not honestly in pain) or ANY anon that comes in here, (needing GUIDANCE) amusing in the least. Who the fuck cares for AGE when someone is suffering. How could a mere number decide whether or not a person is in need?

I would suggest that those who think in such an Immature Manner, should know best that age has little to do with how someone ought to be jugded OR helped. Please think before you type. These are real human beings behind the words.

Good luck to anyone who needs help, especially to those who lack the courage to ask for it.

Anonymous said...

8:39, you are wise and kind. :)


9:56, if you are about, I'm wishing you a grand and glorious day.

Sorry I missed you the other night.

Your pal, 10:01.

Anonymous said...

Thank you 10:01.

I hope you have a good day.

:) Bye

Anonymous said...

Thanks 8:39, have a good one. :)

Rasputins Revenge said...

Everyone Have A Great Weekend

Anonymous said...

Mornin', guys. Check this out:

E=MC(2) is, in fact, true.

Well, no duh? I mean, didn't we know that? But apparently it had never been actually proven.
According to the conventional model of particle physics, protons and neutrons comprise smaller particles known as quarks, which in turn are bound by gluons.

The odd thing is this: the mass of gluons is zero and the mass of quarks is only five percent. Where, therefore, is the missing 95 percent?


Well, the answer is the energy from the movement of their miniscule mass.

Do you remember what I said about two weeks ago:



The up, the down, the truth:
these, my beacons in the dark
the strange beauty and the charm
that I see within the quark



Mayo, the world is lovely and interesting, isn't it? Things that one hardly ever thinks about are so grand and amazing. And yet most of the time we're all so caught up in small things that seem so huge, but that we see every day. Like Utada Hikaru said:


The daily things
(Like this and that and what is what)
That keep us all busy
Are confusing me...


Well, I totally don't know what I'm getting at, to be honest. You seemed upset yesterday and I'm just thinking, But the world is so neat, surely something can make you smile, or even be amazed. It's probably not this geeky article or the non-mass of gluons or whatever, but it'll be something, right? Right. :D

"And maybe some things are that simple."

Anonymous said...

Ashlee Simpson gave birth Thursday to a baby boy she named BRONX MOWGLI WENTZ.

what is up with all these celebrities naming their kids after one of the five boroughs of New York?

Anonymous said...

Bronx? O_o Forget the five boroughs. I'm going to name mine a county. Suffolk, in fact. ;D That would be my son's middle name.

Fox Suffolk Okalani. That'll be great!

So check this out, my goddaughter is coming to spend the weekend but I have to go pick her up early. School is closing early because their heat is broken. Imagine how cool that must be for all those kids! How come stuff like that never happened to me in school? >_<

Smoke said...

I'm kinda wondering about Mowgli myself. What does it mean? Besides being in the Jungle Book. I'm sure it means something though. Jules, help me out. What's it mean?

Mayo,

You worry me sometimes but there ain't a damn thing I can do about it. I hope you're okay.

Oh, and I've officially nicknamed you MonkeyPuff. ^_~



SS?

Oh, Subtle One? Where might you be? Off somewhere being subtle? Well, get your not-as-subtle-as-you-might-think-you-are-ass back in here. Okay? We miss you.

Smoke said...

Wait, that was the boy's name in the Jungle Book, right? Or do I have that wrong. O_o


*goes to Google*

Smoke said...

Yep, okay. Damn, scared me there for a minute. I thought I just made that up.

Smoke said...

Well, my kid is getting out early because the high school football team won their game last Friday. Two Friday's in a row they've released school at lunch because of football. That never happened when I was in school! NO FAIR!

Anonymous said...

Mowgli! No idea. O_O I never actually saw the Jungle Book, tbh. I fail at Disney!

I swear I could call my son Fox if I had one. That wouldn't honestly be his name, for real. But it would be his nickname. I'm cruel like that.

Smoke said...

LHM hates his name. He's pissed because I didn't name him Luke. And everytime he says that I have to say, "LUUUKKEE!!! I AM YOUR FATHER!" And he gets even more pissed. Ha.


I call him all kinds of names though. Bubba, Doodlebug, Goober, Forest Gump. I'm sure he hates that too but he doesn't say anything. He actually answers when I call him Bubba.

Smoke said...

I'm debating on whether or not to go see Twilight tonight. I just don't know.

Anonymous said...

DON'T DO IT! Twilight is an awful book written by a hack who doesn't believe in "real writing." She's just a fad. A rich fad, that's true, but the whole "Twilight" thing is so lame. NOoooooooOOoooOO!

I mean, I'm a hack writer, too, but at least I believe in standards!

Mediocrity and popularity don't always go hand in hand. I mean, they're not married or anything. But they do occasionally snog on the street corner for all to see, and Twilight is the perfect example of that.

Also, my young cousin, SB, is constantly mortified now because he looks like the guy in that movie and everyone's calling him "The Sparkly Vampire." O_o

Anonymous said...

By the way, I love your son's name! I think that's an awesome name.

I would be tempted to name my son Luke, actually. But then I'd go overboard and name him Luke Skywalker because I am just that lame.

Smoke said...

Hahaha! My mother read the books and loved it for some reason. She really got into it which was so unlike her. Solly and I have yet to figure it out. She's peculiar. We were thinking about taking her to see it. She'll probably wait until it comes out on dvd though knowing her.

I like my son's name, too! Thank you! Too bad he doesn't! Hahaha. I think what makes it worse is there is another kid in his class with the same name but he's like four times the size of my son and so he's the 'Big' and my son is the 'Little'.

toujours said...

kapunua, i had to go to walmart this morning with my stepdad to help him with the thanksgiving shopping, and i saw a big ol' display with nothing but "tropic thunder" dvds. i haven't even seen the movie and i was grinning like an idiot. *heh*


heading offline, but i wanted to stop in for a teeny bit.

mayo, i hope today is a better day for you.

Anonymous said...

Awww, well then take your Ma, Princess. That's always fun. :D

TJ, oh man, you should see it. It's such a nasty little satire on Big Dumb Arrogant Hollywood.

And, RDJ. ^_^ And Satan's Alley. ;D

Smoke said...

You shoulda bought it, TJ!!!!! GAH! It is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

This is my cousin who looks like that "sparkly vampire" actor. I think he was Cedric in Harry Potter too, right?

1

2

3

He would KILL ME if he knew I said he looked like him and then also put pics up. ;D

toujours said...

i will take your advice, kapunua and smoke! once i get my dvd player out of storage, i'll see if the library has it. it looked pretty damn funny. :)

Smoke said...

Ooohh, I can't see them! I'll have to wait until I get home!

Anonymous said...

It's weird, he is my baby boy and I still see him as a little tiny kid playing with Ninja Turtles and singing the Price Ali song. When I see pics of him as this tall, handsome adult, I'm like O_O And when girls giggle over him, I want to slap them silly. He's still a BABY. I have to make him lunch and put his coat on him before he goes outside and buy him TOYS.

toujours said...

i don't know about his resemblance to the vampire dude, since i can't figure out why the vampire dude is supposed to be so hot, and your cousin is rather cute!

Anonymous said...

And then my god(dess)daughter is 16 and she's growing up to be this renegade knockout, and most importantly she has absolutely NO CARES about what the world thinks of her. She's got this fabulous curly hair and she's the best unpublished writer I've read--that includes me--and I think I just have to smack her when she gets here today.

Anonymous said...

Oh TJ, you shoulda seen him when he was 3, he was my little butterball turkey with curly blond hair. And he was such a good boy; he wasn't a brat, or a bother like many kids are.

toujours said...

And when girls giggle over him, I want to slap them silly.

i didn't giggle, i swear!


please don't hurt me?

*bambi eyes*

Smoke said...

Haha! I know what you mean. I'm gonna be the same way.

Anonymous said...

Bwaha, I know you didn't, TJ, I'm just playing.

Princess, I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like when it's your own son. He's going to bring a girlfriend home one day and you're just going to be O_O WTF!

Smoke said...

I know! I don't even want to think about it! Gah! DNW! DNW!

toujours said...

i didn't get to see my nephews growing up, unfortunately, and so now they are teens, but oh my, i'm ridiculously proud that they handsome. it's so shallow. :)

Anonymous said...

And that's my god(dess) daughter carrying my god(dess)son. ^_^

Anonymous said...

I feel that way too, TJ. It's weird, almost like I made them all good-looking, when obviously I did not. ;D

Princess, I can't even imagine what that will be like!

toujours said...

Bwaha, I know you didn't, TJ, I'm just playing.

*phew*

cuz, like, you're all strong and stuff. i'd be a puddle of human-flavored jello if you decided to smack me around, kapunua.

my only upper-body strength comes from lugging around books. lol

toujours said...

aww, that's such a nice pic, kapunua. :)

smoke, i tell ya, there for a while i was on gaia with my middle nephew, and one day he introduced his "friend" to me. i was all squinty at the fact that his "friend" was a girl...

>.<


and i haven't even ever met him in real life yet! lol

Smoke said...

Well, I gotta get back to work. Booooo!!!



Mayo,

Behave.




Later folks!

Anonymous said...

Oh, TJ, you know I never would. ^_^

The truth is that even in Kung Fu it's hard for me to throw a punch or a kick, because I have this mortal fear of hurting someone nice.

Anonymous said...

Later, Princess!

TJ, it's funny how we feel protective like that, you know?

I also have cousins that I've never met. But I actually don't have any nieces or nephews. None of my brothers or my sister ever had kids, and none of them ever will, which is kinda strange, I guess?

toujours said...

bye smoke, good chatting with you. :)

i know, kapunua. :)

i'd probably be that way if i was in training, too. i think it'd be difficult to get around the mental block.

Anonymous said...

It is so difficult. Punching or kicking someone who hasn't hurt me is among the hardest things I've ever had to do.

That is a really complicated sentence up there. O_O

toujours said...

it's funny the way the family thing can rear up when you least expect it, kapunua. my family isn't really super close-knit, so i was startled at how much these nephews mean to me.

i'll probably scare them when i do get to meet them.

toujours said...

it's probably as much mental training as it is physical, so that if you ever have to use your training defensively, you won't freeze up.

Anonymous said...

When do you get to meet them, TJ? Soon? Will it be this TG?

And, you're right about the Kung Fu. My first teacher told me that. She said to practice in your mind what you would do and how you would react.

We always joke in class that we hope we'd actually remember our training and not go, "Okay...okay, wait, give me a second. I know I'm supposed to drop into my stance, but can you just hold the gun a little higher for a sec so I can disarm you?"

mya said...

Hi, Guys!

Kapunua, your cousin is quite the looker! My daughter or my niece, either one, would go for that!

toujours said...

i haven't any plans to meet them soon, unfortunately. they don't live near here, or near me in seattle either, so it's difficult. someday though! (what's "tg"?)

and maybe you'd get lucky, and be mugged by a polite attacker who would wait? *hee*

toujours said...

hello, mya. having a good friday so far?

mya said...

Thanks, TJ. I haven't been up long, so I don't know yet how my Friday is going...

Anonymous said...

TG is thanksgiving. :D TJ, I'm sure you'll get to meet them sometime. It's nice that you want to. My family members whomI don't know, I have very little desire to meet them. Except my sister. I'd like to meet her. :D

Mya, thanks! he is a ridiculously popular boy because he's kind to everyone. Once you get to know him, he's a total nut. Smetimes we all just shake our heads and go, "... the boy ain't right."

toujours said...

oooh! thanksgiving! duh. :)

clearly that's my cue to go get something to eat, if my brain is that disabled. lol

good to get to talk to you kapunua, and mya, hope your friday turns out to be very nice.

see you guys later!


mayo, maybe it's corny, i don't know, but every night i do still remind my gods to look out for you. i hope your friday holds some beauty for you.

bye now.

mya said...

Have any of you ever heard of Restaurant.com? Man, it is great! We use it all the time!

You purchase certificates, like $25 off certs. for $10, so you're getting $15 off your meal, right?
Anyway, as each month progresses, they knock down the price of the certs. Right now, they are 80% off, so you'd get a $25 cert for $2, giving you $23 off the meal.

What a deal!

mya said...

Oh, and the discount code is SURPRISE

Anonymous said...

I'm glad too, TJ. See ya later!

Mya, that's pretty neat!

mya said...

Gotta go play games now...

Anonymous said...

I have to go pick up Jo-chan. Later all!

Anonymous said...

Blogger Original Punk J said...

DW's a cool person who got this lovely screen name courtesy of someone else here.


Tell us who..... NAMES please!

Anonymous said...

good afternoon
♥♥

Anonymous said...

If you live in Southern California and can get to Secret Headquarters you can meet Gerard Way. He is hosting a party to celebrate the release of TUA:Dallas tonight from 8pm until everyone leaves! Beer and cocktails will be served for the 21 and up crowd, but the event is open to all ages.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mayo.

Anonymous said...

Hi anon.










(not mayo)

Anonymous said...

What is the most valuable thing you own? What makes it so valuable to you? Would you trade it for 10 million dollars?

Anonymous said...

Ooohhh, let me see. Well, I'm not the antique collector like Sdock and she has most of the heirloom type stuff so, huh. Yes, I would trade anything I have in my house for $10,000,000.00. I guess the most valuable stuff I have is pictures and what-not. It's nice to have them but yeah, I'd sell the shit out of them.


Am I shallow? Probably. But that's ten million!

farawaysoclose said...

What is the most valuable thing you own?

nothing in terms of money! or indeed anything. i really have not been passed down anything or have anything that has emotional value, possession wise anyway!!

that's kinda shit! i want 10 million dollars!



hi proncess!

hi anon!

hi anyone!

farawaysoclose said...

hello mayo!!

if it was really you yesterday then i hope you are OK?

if it was anyone else then i hope they are OK?

if it was some anon pretending to be mayo then that was a bit low....but anyway!!

mayo i haven't been in today, so i have to say it's fucking friday again!! jesus, it's a flying!! less than 5 weeks til Christmas! shit!

hope you are fab and well and just great mayo?!!

farawaysoclose said...

SS!!!!!!

where the motherfuck are you?!!

we do miss you! very much!

oh well when you get some time i hope you can pop in and inspire us a little!!

farawaysoclose said...

would

farawaysoclose said...

so

farawaysoclose said...

very

farawaysoclose said...

wrong

farawaysoclose said...

of

farawaysoclose said...

me

farawaysoclose said...

to

farawaysoclose said...

play

farawaysoclose said...

here

farawaysoclose said...

and

farawaysoclose said...

get

farawaysoclose said...

all

farawaysoclose said...

the

farawaysoclose said...

way

farawaysoclose said...

to

farawaysoclose said...

a brand new page??

farawaysoclose said...

nope i guess not!!

Anonymous said...

that deserves a prize.

faraway's well deserved prize

mmmmmm

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