Tuesday, November 11, 2008

They said you said what I said to you

Your subtlety lacks finesse. Either it is, or it isn’t.

And, we know it is.

But it is incomplete, isn’t it. What is it that was left out or held back?

Well, let me remind you.

Fear at all hours of the day and night. And, I couldn’t breathe without suggesting abandon, so I suffocated from repression. Then, managing the never ending time spent attempting to quell your irrational needs killed me. It was never enough, the time, the attention, the truth, so I finally caved. Yet, the debate continued. And, you couldn’t stop me or make me change my mind, and that infuriated you. But, instead of pushing so hard you would have been better off just killing time.

But, I relent and you suffer delusion and sometimes it was the other way around.

It was like this; there, assembled from misery, denial and frustration, we produced an alternate reality. Can we just admit that it was unnatural? Not quite forced, but awfully close. If so, then we’ll leave it at that.

In the end, it was finished. I’m surprised we held out as long as we did.

And yes, “it was grand, and we have the pictures to prove it.”

Now it’s just shit and we are both shoveling.





p.s. while hiding beneath the window, crying.

2,962 comments:

1 – 200 of 2962   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

I <3 you . ;)

Amyranth said...

Ouch. Mayo, your PS got me in the chest.

Also, hello.

-A

toujours said...

oh mayo.

an unexpected post. are you alright?

Amyranth said...

Sorry, went to grab everyone else.

Mayo, you sound like you just went through hell.

Amyranth said...

Hi Teej, I just caught Elena's post about Flighty, is she okay? Can I email you?

toujours said...

you can email me amyranth. did elena post a comment on the last page? i missed the last few comments, came back to this.

Anonymous said...

Ooo, a new post. Neat.

Hey again everyone.

toujours said...

elena, if you're lurking -- i'm so glad she's going to be okay. i'll talk to you tomorrow. much love.

Anonymous said...

"How could we say no? We couldn't."

Amyranth said...

Hi BC.

Teej, sent to your gmail.

Anonymous said...

Not Frank, Eliza.

Heard her new lyrics yet? Hmmm

toujours said...

i'll go check amyranth. it's slow, so i'll be back in a bit.

Anonymous said...

Then, managing the never ending time spent attempting to quell your irrational needs killed me. It was never enough, the time, the attention, the truth, so I finally caved.


When you agreed to Marry Eliza.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kapunua said...

I really wish that all of you would leave me alone. All of you.

You know, it doesn't often get to me because I don't have a high opinion of you people who just can't quit bringing me up, honestly. But sometimes the lack of earth logic and the unremitting hatred you all manage gets to me. Probably the lack of logic the worst.

Fringe was dumb. X Files was fun. One more episode and then bed, to read more Dragonlance.

Mayo, I won't apologize because you've said it's not necessary. I understand.

I like you, Mayo, and I like your blog. and I want to suck your dick and try to make you talk about me in your posts again.

November 11, 2008 11:18 PM

Anonymous said...

This post is about the blog and some people being an attention whore.

Amyranth said...

I doubt this has anything to do with Frank Iero or Eliza.

Mayo sounds like he's going through a really shitty time though.

And that P.S? Been there. Curled up on the cold floor. A draft weaving it's way in.

I have a knack for getting dumped in the wintertime myself.

-A

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's about Frank or Eliza I think it is about this blog.

Anonymous said...

The porchies constant demands on Mayo is what this post screams to me.

Anonymous said...

11:19, this is what you advised, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Crying under the window is under the window of a tour bus.

Anonymous said...

Your words and blood, apparently.
I'm sorry I am not above asking for it.

Anonymous said...

11:11 on 11/11

Nice :)
I can't sign in or my head will be bitten off.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand, why the tears?

Anonymous said...

Kapunua aty 11:45. Who do you think will bite your head off? We all already know it's you. he number obssession. What do you have to do with all of this?

Anonymous said...

But that's east coast time isn't it? Isn't Mayo pretending to live in LA?

Anonymous said...

11:48, not even close.
It's a holiday, look it up and learn what happened at 11:11 on November 11th many years ago. I'm pointing out that it's nice of Mayo to note that.
People like you are the reason I can't sign in.

Anonymous said...

When did mayo say he lives in LA?

Anonymous said...

It was never a war...

elena said...

Mayo

TJ kindly sent me a text telling me about the new post. I'm sorry I don't have time to reflect on your words but the sadness of the ps brought tears to my eyes.


Amy

I can't really go into a long explanation right now but Flighty had an accident today. She was pulling something off a shelf and a wire pierced her cheek and went up under the skin stopping a inch from her eye. Very scary and very bloody. She's gonna be fine. Thanks for being concerned. When I have time I'll relate the whole story. It truly is very "Fligthy-Like".

Gotta go. Take care all.

Mayo - you especially.

Anonymous said...

Elena

My thoughts are with you and your daughter.

I'm so sorry to hear about her accident.

Take care

Amyranth said...

Elena, the base facts are more than fine. And I'm glad to hear Flighty will be okay.

Flightly-Flighty.

Anonymous said...

Elena, I hope your daughter is alright. Take care. Goodnight.

Anonymous said...

11:48 please don't ask her that question. You know she likes doing things like that and she won't give you a straight answer.

toujours said...

amyranth, email replied. gmail's being a stone drag though so i'd prefer not to have to go back into it. :/

toujours said...

oh elena. *hugs*

take care. talk to you later.

Amyranth said...

Thanks Teej. J got me some info too. Thank God.

Okay, I gotta go. Goodnight Lovelies, Mayo and SS.

-A

ergoproxy said...

hello

Anonymous said...

Goodnight Amy sweet dreams

toujours said...

good night amyranth.

hello ergo. :)



*gasp* ergo! proof-reader! yes?

Anonymous said...

Hi there Ergo :)

ergoproxy said...

hi amy and goodnight
Hi Tj
hi anons
Hi BC

ergoproxy said...

mayo your post is really sad

ergoproxy said...

mayo whatever it was it is such a shame it ended the way it did, and that it continues to hurt.
Sometimes you can try so hard but if you aren't being your true selves, no amount of acting and trying will make it so
I just hope that it can be left to rest some time soon


*places a box of tissues and some milk and cookies on the windowsill*

ergoproxy said...

am I the only one here?

Anonymous said...

That's only his perspective ergo.

The other side may have seen things completely differently.

ergoproxy said...

I remembered the 11th of the 11 at 11

though it was yesterday , I have the poppies in my car

Anonymous said...

Blogger lewishasfallensloppydead said...

I just came in here to say one thing.

---
Not gods, preachers, teachers or your parents.

November 7, 2008 12:31 AM
-------

No they are not. Certainly they are all just human, like the rest of us. You are right, 12:31AM

Howfuckinever, all of the people in those positions Especially Including Rock Stars and Actors have been more powerfully influencial amongst the younger people of this world than religious figures EVER were or probably ever will be. It may be Quite Sad, but it's the damn truth. And it is purely ignorant and irresponsible to deny that influence. OR use it for your own fucking amusement(MSI).

I was holding out hope that the few icons of this world that Appeared to be AWARE of this great power they have, FRANK, were still going to try, at the very LEAST to behave a touch more tastefully than some of the others do. Opening for MSI? WTF is THAT.

I PRAY Elena is right, and there is a REALLY GOOD FUCKING REASON for that fall from grace and purpose, Frankieboy. Cuz, fuck this if there isn't.

I surrender. I'm sick of this bullshit. All of it. I hope everyone is well.
-loves

Oh, and hey mayo. Nice to see you.

November 7, 2008 1:22 AM


TRUE FUCKING STORY.

Now what was all this bullshit last year about "False smiles to seal his fate? after Frank sat there and took Steve Righ's shit about ex fans just being jealous of Gerard and Lynz?

Looks like the "false smiles" were PASTED ON for YOU guys.

toujours said...

no, i'm here, ergo.

between elena's news and this post, i'm a bit unsteady. calming down, though.

would you have time to take a quick look at my revisions? they are little ones.

ergoproxy said...

of course anon, but if one side is pretending it still doesn't matter how much you want it to work it just can't. And it's sad for both, leaves you disillusioned and saddened. It sounds like Mayo is saying he tried. Sometimes you really think you can be a different person, but it's so much effort to hold up that front, even for the best intentions, that you just can't do it anymore.
For the other, if they weren't aware of it it's doubly hard but to still hang on and allow it to dictate your feelings now is a shame.

ergoproxy said...

TJ at your service :]

toujours said...

thank you ergo. sending it now. :)

Anonymous said...

Some people here have chosen NOT to honor the soldiers who have died and are dying. Some people have spoken out AGAINST their efforts.

Some people have no pride in their country and their military.

Mayo how does that make you feel when that happens on your blog?

ergoproxy said...

plus it sounds like Mayo is saying he felt it was almost emotional blackmail, never being able to satisfy a need, wanting to, trying to but finally realising you can't.
It's just a very sad situation for all involved

Anonymous said...

though it was yesterday , I have the poppies in my car

------------------------------

Aye aye aye. Ergo, I actually thought you said you have poopies in your car *shakes head*

;p

ergoproxy said...

anon I don't always agree with the deployment of troops but I would never deny the bravery and honour to those who have served and died for their country.
I cannot imagine what it would be like for soldiers, even more so those in past conflicts.
I think there are times when you have to just look at what is.

ergoproxy said...

BC my car might get messy, but never that messy :]

toujours said...

email sent, ergo. thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

Lol sorry about that ergo ^_^

ergoproxy said...

got it TJ

Anonymous said...

I ♥ veterans. I have some poppies too EP.

ergoproxy said...

anon I always feel for the young men of WW1, WW2 the early conflicts.
Today the military have a greater idea of what to expect (though I don't ever think you could fully grasp it) the men back then were so young, so ideal, so full of patriotism and sureness, camaraderie, I don't think they could ever have expected what the wars would really be like. The fighting was so much closer, more personal. None of the equipment and such they have today.
I always feel so sad seeing those pics of the smiling young men, some just boys, knowing that so many thousands never came back

Anonymous said...

Ergo, maybe the other side had a perfectly valid reason for the discouraging.

Maybe it wasn't emotional blackmail at all.

Maybe it was for his benefit, not to deliberately hurt him.

They could be suffering too. You never know.

ergoproxy said...

I think that sounds great TJ
his email certainly gave a better idea of what he wanted, I can see his vision better now, shame he hadn't really gotten that across earlier! lol
but I think the revision will fit what he's looking for
I'll send it back in a bit when I've looked over it closely

Anonymous said...

Whatever the case, neither party is to blame completely. No one person is perfect; some people tend to forget that. Whoever Mayo's post is for, they obviously hurt him. But likewise, there may be things he did that hurt them.

ergoproxy said...

anon very possible, it's hard to say how the other side felt, seeing as we only have one perspective.
I'm going by what I feel Mayo is saying he felt about it.
Seeing as I'm speaking basically to him.
I'm always mindful that without the full story it is impossible to make valid judgements.
Perhaps Mayo feels his side of the story isn't being recognised by the other.
It's always a very difficult situation when a persons individual perceptions are involved.
I do however, get the feeling that he wishes it could be resolved and left.
Maybe it hasn't come to that point yet?
Perhaps both sides need time and wisdom to counsel their future responses.

toujours said...

ooops, sorry about the delay...i went outside to look at the moon for a bit.

thanks ergo, i'm looking forward to what you have to say about it. :)

ergoproxy said...

hi anon 2

ergoproxy said...

sent it back TJ just one spot maybe could be added to, I wrote and idea but I don't know if it sounds any good, The paragraph seems a bit short, no real reason for it to link the previous and later paragraphs

toujours said...

pardon me if i'm interrupting, but the thing about this post is that, whatever the other party's perspective of the events might be, this post is about how mayo felt about the situation.

there are never "two sides" to the emotions in a situation. the events themselves might be interpreted in different ways, but how you react and feel is always yor own. you can't argue with someone on the basis of it not being the whole story when what they are talking about is how they feel. their feelings are just that: theirs, regardless how the other person perceives the situation.

that's what i read in this post anyway.

toujours said...

thanks, ergo, i'll go see what you said. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi there anon

Martha Smith-Jones said...

hello

ergoproxy said...

HI MJ!

how are you?

toujours said...

i liked your suggestion, ergo. i made the change and bounced it back to you.

toujours said...

hello martha. :)

and bc, hopping back in. lol

Anonymous said...

Hi there mj, how are you?

Sorry TJ. I'm on a desperate quest to find true love on myspace, lol :p

Martha Smith-Jones said...

I am well how about you ep

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Hello TJ and BC

ergoproxy said...

it's good TJ send it to him and see what he says
best thing is he's happy with the bulk of it, so anything is just minor now

well done!

Martha Smith-Jones said...

How are you tj and EP

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Ep should be bc I am watching SVU.

ergoproxy said...

I'm good MJ busy and I have to head off titoring soon but at least tonight I get home early, my other 2 kids are going to the school dance so we've given titoring a rest for the night :]

So I'll be home at 7 instead of 8:30!

toujours said...

thanks ergo! i truly appreciate your help. :)

bc, a quest, eh? be careful...knights in shining armor are rarely what they seem. ;)

doing ok, martha. good to see you here.

Anonymous said...

Makes some snickerdoodles BC, then you will know true love.

Anonymous said...

That's good MJ. Damn, I missed tonight's episode :/

Thanks TJ ^_^

Anon, everyone's been saying that about snickerdoodles and how awesome they are.

I have never tasted one in my life X_x

ergoproxy said...

BC you MUST cook snickerdoodles
they are the best cookie!

Anonymous said...

Ergo, I must! Maybe for thanksgiving...

Are they soft and chewy cookies?

Martha Smith-Jones said...

I have two kinds of snickerdoodles regular and chocolate.


Bc you need to make these cookies or find a bakery that makes them.

Anonymous said...

my feelings are

i hope neither mayo nor the other party are suffering as much as it seems they are.
if this is a current or ongoing situation
i hope both parties heal soon.


hi & g'night everybody. i have a headache.
:)

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Hello and goodnight anon

ergoproxy said...

1:54 I hope so too


goodnight, hope your headache eases, sweet dreams

Anonymous said...

Thanks mj. Goodnight anon, if you got a headache, take some tylenol or aspirin.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Anon try put ice on your neck it might help with the headache

ergoproxy said...

ok I must say bye too,I'm off titoring

Mayo, mate,
chin up me old bugger, worse things happen at sea!
lol
that is the lamest thing to say but maybe you'll crack a little smile?

take care sweets

bye all!

xx

Anonymous said...

Take care ergo

Martha Smith-Jones said...

later ep

Anonymous said...

When the world ends
Collect your things
You’re coming with me
When the world ends
You tuckle up yourself with me
Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing
The day the world is over
We’ll be lying in bed

I’m gonna rock you like a baby when the cities fall
We will rise as the building’s crumble
Float there and watch it all
Amidst the burning, we’ll be churning
You know, love will be our wings
The passion rises up from the ashes
When the world ends

When the world ends
You’re gonna come with me
We’re going to be crazy
Like a river bends
We’re going to float
Through the criss cross of the mountains
Watch them fade to nothing
When the world ends
You know that’s what’s happening now
I’m going to be there with you somehow, oh...

I’m going to tie you up like a baby in a carriage car
Your legs won’t work cause you want me so
You just lie spread to the wall
The love you got is surely
All the love that I would ever need
I’m going to take you by my side
And love you tall, ‘til the world ends

Oh, but don’t you worry about a thing
No, 'cause I got you here with me
Don’t you worry about a
Just you and me
Floating through the empty, empty
Just you and me
Oh, graces
Oh, grace

Oh, when the world ends
We’ll be burning one
When the world ends
We’ll be sweet makin love
Oh, you know when the world ends
I’m going to take you aside and say
Let’s watch it fade away, fade away
And the world’s done
Ours just begun
It's done
Ours just begun

We’re gonna dive into the emptiness
We'll be swimming
I’m going to walk you through the pathless roads
I’m going to take you to the top of the mountain that’s no longer there
I’m going to take you to bed and love you, I swear
Like the end is here

I’m going to take you up to
I’m going to take you down on you
I’m going to hold you like an angel, angel

I’m going to love you
I’m going to love you
When the world ends
I’m going to hold you
When the world is over
We’ll just be beginning...

*******

Let me be the one who calls you baby
All the time
Surely you can take some comfort
Knowing that you're mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?

Let me be the one who never leaves
You all alone
I hold my breath and lose the feeling
That I'm on my own
Hold me too tight stay by my side
and let me be the one who calls you
Baby all the time

I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of
my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?

When I'm alone time goes so slow
I need you here with me
and how my mistakes have made
Your heart break
Still I need you here with me
Baby I'm here

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
and Smother me
Warm and alive I'm all over you
would you smother me?

*******

I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you

*******

I still love you
I still want you
Now more than ever
Do you?

toujours said...

good night ergo, have fun!

1:54, it's a good hope to have. good night to you.

well, my article is sent back to my editor. hope he likes my revisions. :)

Anonymous said...

Good luck with that TJ :)

toujours said...

thank you bc. :)

you know, i really have to add my recommendation to the others: snickerdoodles are a very very tasty cookie. try 'em next chance you get. :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks TJ ^-^

toujours said...

you won't regret it, bc. :)

alas, it's time for me to go to bed. i'll see you later, bc, have a good night.

and good night, any and all anons.

sweet dreams, everyone.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

goodnight tj

Anonymous said...

Are you sure the person you think made that comment did make that comment 2:06? It could be a case of mistaken identity. They could have posted that comment for anybody. It wasn't addressed to anybody in particular. It could have been a one shot poster doing something nice for the blog.

Anonymous said...

i can't wait for Bert's response.

Anonymous said...

Thanks TJ. Sweet dreams :)

Anonymous said...

It was bert? I'm on pins and needles waiting to hear. Ernie must be too.

Anonymous said...

i wasn't talking about the anons or payed attention to the current conversation

Anonymous said...

I am off for the night. Goodnight mj and anons.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

goodnight bc

anima said...

So many comments, very provoking...



TJ, I love your 1:18 post. Spot on. That is the beauty of all.

♥ everyone. Mayo of course that includes you. Can't stay. :(

Take care my friends.

toujours said...

mayo,

you caught me off-guard with this entry. i stepped away to get some coffee, and when i returned, there you were, and what you wrote just slammed into me.

every time i've read the post tonight, i feel the same thing: i feel such sorrow that you ever had to experience a relationship like this. i'm so sorry, mayo. no one should be trapped in a situation like what you describe. and that this was in the past, and yet you still so clearly have strong emotions attached to it, means to me that it was a struggle for you.

mayo, i haven't experienced anything so tumultuous. my relationship lay down and died, and it took me several years to notice. it was a sad, slow, and heavily quiet ending.

but when it was over, that was it. i closed the door on it all, packed it away in a box for a space of time until it was no longer so raw. i gave myself room to heal so that i could go forward.

this entry of yours, mayo, seems to describe a wound that is still raggedly open long after it should be. sometimes, the only thing you can do to heal is walk away. sometimes the ties that linger are harmful, and can never be made right.

sometimes, you have to face forward and walk into your own life, for your own sake, mayo.




that you put this here, where we can read it, and share it, still means so much to me.

be well, mayo.

good night.

Anonymous said...

head met desk

Anonymous said...

Head meet shrink.

ergoproxy said...

shrink meet wrap?

farawaysoclose said...

woah mayo! this is sad. i can feel your hurt and desperation.

i'm glad it is in the past. it still clearly bothers you though. i hope you can let go. i hope that you are able to fully move on.

just leave the shit alone, stop shoveling and walk away.

anyway i hope you are OK? hope you have a lovely wednesday!

and thanks for the new post.

farawaysoclose said...

SS!

hello you! where are you?!

do you realise it is a year ago today that you did your fabulous birthday story for princess! you got so much into that story it was so good! a whole year and it's gone like that!!

and so much has changed in blogbelieve in that year. that makes me sad.

anyway have a good day SS! hope to catch a whiff of you around these parts soon!! ^_~

miranth said...

Hi guys.

I checked here earlier and had to leave, the shit was piled so thickly.

Wendy - I got your message and I hope things are better soon - also I will keep your mother in my thoughts and send her positive wishes. And I am sending lots of *hugs* for you. :)

BC - How are things?

Ergo - I hope all is still well with the job!

FASC - It was nice to see you here! :)

Mayo - At first I read the post and didn't read the comments (though I had stopped by after dinner and saw what was going on) and I thought you were describing a personal relationship. However in reading the comments, I see that you could also be referencing this place. My advice is to not let the bullshit get to you. Imagine an invisible shield and allow the negativity to bounce back to the perpetrators. (Whether in 'real' life relationships or here) I find that this works. And often to the severe detriment of the instigator. (Some actually realize it.)

And when a relationship turns to shit, salvage the good from it, or at least the lesson, before jumping ship.

PS - A big *hug* for you, as well. I think you may need it - and certainly deserve it. :)

And none of my words here are forced, lest you think it.


By for now, everyone!


PPS - I find myself counseling friends over the phone so much these days that I have little time for this place, but my thoughts are often with you.

farawaysoclose said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY PRINCESS! i know it's the same pic i gave your sister for her birthday but fuck it, i like it!!

miranth said...

PPPS - If today is smoke's birthday -


HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


I hope you enjoy the day and many happy returns!

:)

farawaysoclose said...

hi miranth!!

oops i didn't read the comments fully! well fuck it i have always said i don't interpret mayo very well. he knows this and laughs at me!!

hope you are good miranth?

hello to everyone also!

elena, glad Flighty is going to be OK. scary though, thank god it wasn't worse!

right gotta go guys!

have lovely wednesdays!

ergoproxy said...

Smoke it's your birthday???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


hi miranth - yep going fine :}
thanks for thinking of me, hope you're well too

Hi fasc
have a great wednesday

miranth said...

And another note:

My Dad was a WWII veteran and I did stop and think of him yesterday.

I was happy to be reminded of him, and this despite the horrible connotations of war.

miranth said...

I am good! I hope you are too FASC?

Ergo - I am feeling a bit better, actually and I am happy to hear that!



OK bye again! :)

ergoproxy said...

that's great so many people in blogbelieve and here have been sick lately
touch wood we've avoided it so far!

Smoke said...

Awww, thank you guys! Yep, it's my birthday.

Mayo,

Thank you for the new post. It doesn't quite make me sad like some of the others. I don't know. I can't explain it right now. Anyhoo...thank you! ^_^


SS,

Dude! Hope you are okay wherever you are!



Have a great day everyone!

XOXO

Anon616 said...

Wrap meet shoulders!

God morgen/God kveld Mayo, SS, Ergo, Miranth, FASC, Sweetcheeks, Amy, Martha, Elena, TJ, Anima, anyone I missed; various anons, watchers and lurkers; all those celebrating a birthday today (and those not) in the land of blog!

How are you all today/tonight? Good, I hope!

Okay, now I am worried about Mayo. Like I don't have enough going on/to worry about right now. Just kidding, Mayo!

This post really is heartbreaking.

~~~~~~"And, I couldn’t breathe without suggesting abandon, so I suffocated from repression. Then, managing the never ending time spent attempting to quell your irrational needs killed me. It was never enough, the time, the attention, the truth,"~~~~~~~

Yep, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how much time ~ attention ~ energy ~ blood ~ sweat ~ tears ~ words ~ truths ~ years, you give them; it's never enough for some people. And, more often than not, will never be enough.

Feel free to blame that crying on hormones. I understand men have them too.

Miranth: Thank you!!!! I'm keeping you in my thoughts, too. And I'm sending every good wish I can think of to you (to help with your current situation).
*big hug*

Ergo: *smoooooooch*

Elena: I'm glad Flighty is alright and I'm happy to hear it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Sweetcheeks: 3 months till Mardi Gras!!! Start practicing that Mambo and bead catching. Oh, and flashing ~ if you so choose to do that. Just remember, the beads are plastic and flashing really is not required. Some people just seem to enjoy it! ;)

To ponder or not to ponder, today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life."
unattributed

and:

"Letting go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means
taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much AS POSSIBLE."
Melody Beattie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a great (or at least decent) day, everyone!

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

Hi PJ, Andrea, Mel, Already Gone, SC and Professor anon!

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Thank you for the new words. I'm still pondering and I'll get back with you later on tonight.

Mostly, I'm just running out of "time".

Hope you'll let yourself have a wonderful Wednesday!

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. On second glance...

sdock10 said...

Happy Birthday to my best friend in the whole world, my Princessy Proncessy Prancing Slaw Ass Smokey Sister!

I love ya!

ergoproxy said...

Mayo I've left it too late to write much, but I told you how I felt earlier and I still do
wishing you resolution, wisdom, compassion and peace
much love EP xx

SS
have a very wonderful wednesday, Hope the sun shines upon you and the day graces you with beauty and grace.
lotsa love EP xx

goodnigth blogbelieve, see you in my morning
♥xx♥

smoke have a lovely birthday day

sdock have a great wednesday too

sdock10 said...

Ergo,

Sweet dreams!

Anonymous said...

Mayo,

This sounds like the torture I know I put my ex through.

I know I can't speak for this other person, but I must confess to you.

Until I received absolution from my ex, I spent every day for two years regretting the wretched mindfuck I put him through.

He never could provide enough. He could never give me enough attention. He was never what I had hoped he would be.

He simply was and I couldn't appreciate it.

We were constantly circling with our chisels, hacking away to try and make our shapes just so. But there was always some jagged edge left unseen when we thought we had finally sculpted ourselves to fit together. And pieces of ourselves lay all over the apartment we had tried so hard to make a home.

I wish I had put him through two years of that instead of five.

I have no pretty way of wrapping this up. We're good friends again, but that means nothing to you at this moment.

I know I remained lonely and hurt until I decided it wasn't fun to be a victim anymore.

Perhaps someday you'll decide the same.

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LA PRINCIPESA!

For your birthday, I did some remodeling.

Hope you like it! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Katherine; that was brave of you to share that. It's good to read you. :)

Anonymous said...

hi. wrong blog. bye.

Anonymous said...

O_o Haha! Left turn, Albuquerque, that whole thing.

Bellatrix said...

Hello Mayo,SS and Lovelies.


Mayo,I don’t know if this post is about a past relationship or the blog as someone suggested,but it doesn’t really matter.
The pain in your words is what upsets me the most,and I’m sorry I can’t give you any advice.I wish I could.

We’re all willing to listen to you though,if you want.
I hope it’s enough.

Take care of yourself.



SS,take care as well and hope to see you around soon.



Smoke,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!



MissT,great to see you!



Kapu,hope you’re okay.



Have a great day,everyone.
Love you all!
*HUGS & KISSES*

Anonymous said...

"I don't love you"








p.s. like I loved you yesterday

Anonymous said...

do you love them more or less.
clarification could be helpful.

MissTottenham said...

Just a quickie.


I'll be back later.


Bella, it's great to see you too sweetie.


Mayo, I hope you are OK. I guess you just really needed to get this off your chest.









HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SPARKLY PRINCESS

I hope you have a great day sweetie.


See you all later.

Anonymous said...

a quickie could be helpful too misstot.
;)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Hi Misty, also!

Anonymous said...

Oh, except, Mayo, when I had that thing going on with that dude, there were a lot less commas than there are in your thing.

I'M JUST PLAYIN WIT YOU SON.

But there were.

toujours said...

hello hello.

just about to get off the computer, but thought i'd stop in and say...

happy birthday smoke!!. in honor of your birthday, today i will think kind thoughts about nascar. ;)

kapunua, regarding what you wrote about your experience, this is the same thing i told katherine: every relationship we leave behind is a lesson for the next one. now you're stronger for whatever (and whoever) is on your horizon. which i know you know. *grin*




well, it's raining here, which is happy-making, but it's raining more in seattle, so that leaves me feeling pouty.

also, this was weird, but as i was reading the morning's comments, when i got to the anon at 11:42 that just happened to be the song playing right then in my headphones. um.

oh hai co-inky-dink!


okey-doke, time to turn off this word in favor of the three-dimensional one. have a good day everyone, even if it isn't raining in your neck of the woods!

bye blogbelieve.
bye mayo.

Anonymous said...

♥Thank you....I'm having an awful day

toujours said...

"turn off this world"

i am experiencing typo-grief.

again.

Anonymous said...

Where ya at you big fine red headed wiccan princess. ;)

Jennicula said...

Hey there Mayo.

It’s difficult when a relationship implodes. Whether it be a friendship, love, family, or work it always makes you step back and take stock of the situation. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It won’t make anything better. Just try and take away the lesson you got from this one.

I have a lifetime of regrets and mistakes and no way of fixing them. I just hope I’ve learned the important lessons and go from there.





ps - happy birthday, Smok.

Anonymous said...

Hiya, Jenn. Too right you are!

Thanks TJ, I agree. And I wish it were raining here. Ah well, tomorrow and the rest of the week promises to be dreary and blustery. :D

MissTottenham said...

Hi again peeps.

Hi K, Hi Jenn, Hi TJ, Hi Bella, Hi anon.

Hi to anyone else around.


Anonymous said...
a quickie could be helpful too misstot.
;)



Hee hee naughty!

Anonymous said...

there was NO reality...not even alternate.

if you want reality, look at your left hand. that's all the reality i need to know.

p.s. there is nothing to shovel

Anonymous said...

That he married someone else Eliza?

Anonymous said...

3:08

We're supposed to believe that you know mayo and are speaking to him directly?

Vivienne said...

Ouch.

Mayo, you poor thing.
It's an awful feeling, I know this...

Elena, my thoughts are with you. <3

And happy birthday to Smoke&V.

I hope everyone here is well, I'm sorry I haven't been around.
You know what I'm really looking forward to? Christmas. Making it a special one this year.

Love to you all, yes, each and everyone.

xoxo cupcake

MissTottenham said...

Hiya CC sweetie, how are you doing?

Vivienne said...

Hi MissT, it's nice to see you. ^_^
I'm ok. How are you?

MissTottenham said...

I'm good thanks CC.

It's always nice to see you.

How are the family doing healthwise?

Vivienne said...

Well, my Grandfather has just returned from hospital, so were all a bit tired and stressed. Just getting sued to the new routine.

MissTottenham said...

How is he doing?

Vivienne said...

Pretty well, all things considered. Of course things are very different. It's strange, trying to adjust from having someone who was very capable and independent to someone who just isn't.
This really has been a year of change.

How are your loved ones going?

MissTottenham said...

That's sad to hear CC but it's good to hear he's out of hospital.


My mum had a mamagram a couple of weeks ago and she has the all clear again.

Vivienne said...

That's great MissT, a relief I'm sure. ^_^

ergoproxy said...

good morning!

MissTottenham said...

Thanks CC sweetie.

I meant she had it a couple of months ago. We don't have results quick.



Hiya Ergo sweetie.

ergoproxy said...

that's great misst my mum always gets very stressed prior to hers each year

CC so glad your grandpa is out of hospital, it will be a big adjustment but you'll manage, make sure you take advantage of any assistance, blue care etc etc

MissTottenham said...

Thanks Ergo.



Yeah CC, you make sure he gets all the home help he's entitled to. You can't do it all alone.

Vivienne said...

Hi Ergo ^_^ *hugs*
How are you sweetie?

And thank you MissT, you're both quite right.

ergoproxy said...

I'm good CC
everything is going well here, though I have no time

working 4 days a week and doing the business stuff, titoring and housework is hard, and guess what slides!

they've just asked if I'll do a full week , the week after next but I don't really want to, I think I'll say no.
It's all juniors, near the end of the school year, it's money but I just don't want to, I'll end up with no time for anything

Vivienne said...

Gah, I'm exhausted just hearing about it Ergo!

MissTottenham said...

How are the kids behaving Ergo?

ergoproxy said...

the yr 10's who are mine are being really good the only problem I have is they talk a lot so that's no big deal

the supervisions I've had have been ok, both ran out of work though and that isn't great so now I have a pile of word finds and stuff to give out. But I have been fortunate as tuesday no staff were away so I just went and photocopied booklets then helped in the Special Needs dept

today is my previous tutoring work so that is easy, tomorrow is a relief day so wordfinds at the ready!

MissTottenham said...

Sounds good though Ergo. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

MissTottenham said...

So, is everyone ready for crimbo?

Although, you guys have thanksgiving first don't you?

MissTottenham said...

Americans obviously.

Do you Canadians have it too?

Vivienne said...

Well darlings, I must go!

It's been nice talking to you all again, I hope I'll be back soon.

Mayo, Take care, mmkay?

SS, you're lovely as always.

xoxo cupcake

MissTottenham said...

You take care CC, come back soon. It was lovely seeing you again sweetie.

ergoproxy said...

see you CC take care!


misst we have nothing between now and Christmas, and I cannot believe it's only 42 days!
that sounds ludicrous!!

what day is thanksgiving?
Elena sent me some stuff, lol I am a pseudo american

I have a turkey windcatcher hanging up outside, very sute

MissTottenham said...

Ergo, I have been informed that it is on the 27th this year.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Just popped in to say hello to miss t and ep

hello

ergoproxy said...

Hi MJ!

thanks missT I keep forgetting to find out


I have to go so i'll say bye and see anyone here when i get home

have a good rest of your day and tomorrow
xx



ps sute = cute

MissTottenham said...

See ya Ergo, have a nice day.



Hiya MJ, how are you sweetie?

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Miss t I am well how are you?

later ep

MissTottenham said...

I'm good thanks MJ.

Just had to restart the computer cos of page freeze.

Bloody thing.

MissTottenham said...

So, what have you been up to MJ?

MissTottenham said...

Well, it is goodnight from me blog.

See you tomorrow.


Nighty night MJ sweetie.

gnothi seauton said...

Hi Mayo.
Hi Ladies.

Can't stop.

HAPPY JAPPY BIRTHDAY SMOKE. ^_^

I looked at tiara Christmas decorations today and thought of you. Enjoy the rest of your day.

I hope everyone is well.

TTFN

Anonymous said...

Wow, I posted the song by Dave but not the other part that is underneath it. Good song. :)
I potsed it for everyone bc the words are awesome. I guess someone else liked it too

elena said...

Hello everyone. I just wanted to pop in a moment before heading off to the grocery store to say thanks for all the kind words about Flighty’s accident.

Here is what happened. I’m not sure if you’re all familiar with the “pop-up” hampers but they are the ones that start out flat and spring up. Anyway she was reaching for hers up on the shelf and it started to fall. She grabbed it but the wire inside tore through the material and when it fell on her the wire actually pierced her cheek then ran up under her skin stopping about an inch from her eye. She said she didn’t even realize what had happened at first until she tired to pull it from her face and the wire was still under her skin. Okay, yuck. So she pulled it out and then of course there was lots of blood and she freaked. She called me (I was at work) and I told her I’d be right there. It took me almost 35 minutes to get to her apartment and when I got there she was standing outside in the cold with blood still all over her. Yeah, she was wearing a white coat. I asked what she was doing outside and she said she felt dizzy so she thought the cold air might help. A very “flighty” thought. So I drove her to the Emergency Quick Care. (let me just say the word “Quick” doesn’t belong in the name. We waited 2 hours to see a doctor and then it took another 45 minutes to get her patched up. They syringed her face. (that was the first thing she told me) and then dermabonded the wound. Hopefully it won’t leave a scar. I’m just so thankful the wire didn’t reach her eye. So anyway thanks again to all of you for showing your concern. You have no idea how much that means to me.

Well off to the grocery store.

OH and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Smoke. Hope it’s a great one!!!!!

Martha Smith-Jones said...

happy bday smoke

Smoke said...

Thank you all for the birthday wishes and the prezzies! ^_^
YAYNESS!!! ♥ you guys!

I've just had the weirdest experience with a cemetery, a black cat and a full moon. O_O

Smoke said...

Oh gosh, Elena! That's so scary! I'm glad she's okay!

Amyranth said...

This is just great.

And I'm being sarcastic. And scared.

-A

Smoke said...

Mayo,

I read your post this morning and again this afternoon and I just gotta say that I guess I'm interpreting it differently than most everyone else. I saw it as more of a "Okay, I'm saying it and this is what I remember and well, let's move on, shall we?" kind of post. Only you know though and without knowing the who, the what or the where and when, I'm kind of just guessing. Rambling a bit, too. Anyhoo. It's my birfday! I can ramble if I wanna, right? You're still an ass. Just messing with ya! That's why I ♥ you! Have a good one, Mayo!




SS!!!

Dude. I could still squeeze you from last year. Hell, I could squeeze you any day of the week. Hope you are doing well wherever you are and you are happy, happy, happy! Full moons and black cats all the way, dude! ^_^




Thank you all again for all the birthday wishes! You guys don't know what you mean to me. Have a great night everyone!

Anonymous said...

♥ La Principesa! :D

Anonymous said...

loser

Anonymous said...

cow

Anonymous said...

i like string

Anonymous said...

i like it more

Anonymous said...

Blogger lewishasfallensloppydead said...

I just came in here to say one thing.

---
Not gods, preachers, teachers or your parents.

November 7, 2008 12:31 AM
-------

No they are not. Certainly they are all just human, like the rest of us. You are right, 12:31AM

Howfuckinever, all of the people in those positions Especially Including Rock Stars and Actors have been more powerfully influencial amongst the younger people of this world than religious figures EVER were or probably ever will be. It may be Quite Sad, but it's the damn truth. And it is purely ignorant and irresponsible to deny that influence. OR use it for your own fucking amusement(MSI).

I was holding out hope that the few icons of this world that Appeared to be AWARE of this great power they have, FRANK, were still going to try, at the very LEAST to behave a touch more tastefully than some of the others do. Opening for MSI? WTF is THAT.

I PRAY Elena is right, and there is a REALLY GOOD FUCKING REASON for that fall from grace and purpose, Frankieboy. Cuz, fuck this if there isn't.

I surrender. I'm sick of this bullshit. All of it. I hope everyone is well.
-loves

Oh, and hey mayo. Nice to see you.

November 7, 2008 1:22 AM

TRUE FUCKING STORY.

Now what was all this bullshit last year about "False smiles to seal his fate? after Frank sat there and took Steve Righ's shit about ex fans just being jealous of Gerard and Lynz?

Looks like the "false smiles" were PASTED ON for YOU guys.

November 12, 2008 12:16 AM

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