Thursday, November 6, 2008

Obviously.

I Hate Swimming

I am barefoot
and the pavement burns
my pale soles.
I begin to shuffle
first to the left
then, right.
Holding each
until I can no longer stand
without wobble.
I would seek shelter
but, that would find
me leaving you
alone, again.
And, I can’t.
Won’t.
Your willful eyes
and your exuberance
stand with me.
I am here
to brave the burn.





p.s. all that stuff about going blind is a lie.

3,282 comments:

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resurrected wreck said...

There's a box at work marked "Fragile: golden ass hats".

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Here is Solly's Random Tip of the Week:

Do not drive while distracted! Distracted driving is a big no, no! Yes, the sunrise is pretty, yes, it is fun to sing along to a double shot of Heart on the radio (Magic Man!) and Yes, the bumper stickers on the car in the lane next to me were oh so interesting, but.....you must always keep your eyes on the road, Mayo. Not beside you, not behind you, well, I mean it's nice to be aware of those things, but look ahead, dude! Straight ahead! I don't know how in the world I kept from eating up the ass end of a little red pick up truck this morning. Thanks to good brakes and perfect "timing", I somehow managed to avoid a collision. Scared the shit out of me and it was and would have been totally and completely 100% my fault. As much as I would have liked to have blamed the Obama bumper stickers I was trying to read, or Ann Wilson that I was trying to sing along to, or the sun for being so pretty, it was all me. I had prepared myself for impact, my purse was in the floorboard, and I bet you couldn't spit between our 2 vehicles, I was that close. With my hands and legs weak and shaking, I pulled it together and got myself to work. This time staying at least 3 car lengths behind. Like, "oh hey, sorry Mister Man, didn't mean to almost crash into your ass end! Don't worry, I've got this now. I'm totally paying attention. Actually, I was just testing my reaction time and reflexes! Yep, they're good!"

Fuck distractions, Mayo, fuck those distractions and focus on the task at hand, especially if it's driving.

Get me?

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. Following too close...

sdock10 said...

RW,

o_O

resurrected wreck said...

I never know what I'm going to find there, Solly. One other wardrobe I worked in had a box marked "Extra animal ears and peculiar bits".

Smoke said...

Peculiar bits?

Bwahaha!

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, S&V :D

Happy day-before-your Birfday!! ^_^

Smoke said...

Yayness! Thank you! ^_^

Smoke said...

I just said on the porch that I'll officially be in my 30's tomorrow. Being exactly 30 doesn't count. Not in my book. Bwah.

Smoke said...

Ever been to Land O'Lake, Mayo?

Nevermind.

*snickers*

resurrected wreck said...

You're just a young'un, S&V!

Smoke said...

Awwweeee! ♥

resurrected wreck said...

S&V: ♥

Anonymous said...

You are a youngun, Princess! And I said the same thing when I hit 31. Well, my cousin and I in the same week. We were all "Dude. We're in our 30's."

And as of last month, we are not both closer to 40 than to 30.

Neither of us has a line on our faces though. ^_^ And that's what counts, right?

Anonymous said...

I LIKES TA EAT YA WITH MY LITTLE MOUTH, TOO!

Smoke said...

Yep! Yep! I still feel like I'm 20 if that counts for anything. I mean, not so much my body but my mind. :)

Hee-hee.

OMG!!! I'z gonna git pressies!

Well, maybe. O_o

Smoke said...

O_O

Smoke said...

OMG. OMG. This morning my child made me listen to Iron Maiden all the way to school. Gerard would be proud. @_@

Anonymous said...

Prezzies are the BEST!

Oooh, what Iron Maiden songs? I grew up listening to and playing Iron Maiden. Bruce Dickenson was my idol.

sdock10 said...

*comes in singing in best Bruce Dickinson voice*

Run to the hills, run for your liiiiiiiiiiiife, just don't run into the ass end of pick em up trucks!

Smoke said...

"Run to the Hills"

I've had that 'wah-wah-wah wah-wah-wah' guitar part stuck in my head all damn day.

sdock10 said...

Presents? Who said anything about presents?

Anonymous said...

Well as you might guess, that was one of my favorites by them. I was then pretty much the same way I am now, you know? The whole "equal rights / tell it like it is" stuff. ^_^

Smoke said...

Oh, he loves it! I mean loves it!

sdock10 said...

He was singing it over here too, Smoke.

And running around making the guitar noise.

o_O

Smoke said...

See? Hahaha. My child is so effin' funny. He should have his own show.

He left me a note here at the house and all it said was this:

THIS WAS BY ME. YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

O_o

I was like wtf?

Anonymous said...

It'll be o.k. 8:19. :)

sdock10 said...

Dude, sounds like a Mayoism.

Anonymous said...

Aces High! He would love that one, too!

There was seriously a time in my life--right before SB was born, in fact, so this is almost twenty years ago to the day--where I couldn't get to sleep unless I had my Iron Maiden CD on repeat all night.

See SB's mother was living with us at the time of her pregnancy and I gave her my bedroom. So I slept in the guest room and I had this little sofa bed and a stereo, and I had to have Iron Maiden on repeat otherwise I would just lie awake all night dreading school the next day.

That's something I'll never forget.

resurrected wreck said...

THIS WAS BY ME. YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

O_o

Anonymous said...

One would hope you would know who he was! O_O

Anonymous said...

The second he wakes you up crooking his finger and going "REDRUM! REDRUM!" in a crazy voice, that's when you need to start to worry.

(I'm teaching Boychild to do that.)

Smoke said...

I'll have to get him some more Iron Maiden stuff, for sure. :)




Does kind of sound like a Mayoism, doesn't it? Ha.

sdock10 said...

I bet it's a metaphor.

Smoke said...

Haha! I wish I could see Boychild do that! He is so adorable!

Smoke said...

A metaphor for what?

*thinks*

*turns head to the side*

*thinks some more*

Yep, just like Mayo. I don't have a clue.

Anonymous said...

He's way too damn cute. He laughed so hard on Sunday that he fell over. O_O

Smoke said...

Awwww! ^_^

sdock10 said...

Smoke,

Did you check out those Killers tix? Go to ticketmaster and see what ya think.

Bastards!

(Ticketmaster, I mean, not The Killers!)

Anonymous said...

And he calls me Gigi, which is like the coolest thing ever.

Smoke said...

Ok, hang on.

sdock10 said...

Dr. Simple Jules,

Please get rid of my headache. I need meds.

sdock10 said...

Gigi!

*melts*

Awhhhh, that is too cute. I wish I could hear that.

Anonymous said...

Solly, if I was there I would rub your head. That gets rid of headaches so fast.

Anonymous said...

Written by Brian Vander Ark

Tonight I took a snapshot, guess I got a tender spot
That'll never change
I got brand new strings, someone waiting in the wings
And that'll never change
And it's good to be home tonight
Yeah, it's good to be you and me
I got nowhere to go after the show
But that's all right, yeah that's all right by me
No cop no stop cruising to the corner shop
That'll never change
Park near the backstage pass a lot of underage
That'll never change
And it's good to be home tonight
Yeah, it's good to be guaranteed
There's nowhere to go after the show
But that's all right, yeah that's all right by me
And I, I don't think you understand
I really didn't get a wristband
But could you let me in cause I'm with the band
And it's good to be home tonight
Yeah, it's good to be guaranteed
I got a place to crash after the bash
It's called home tonight and that's all right by me
And all the kids sing boy we don't like what you became
Since you made it well it isn't the same
But I guess that's really typical of fame

Anonymous said...

COMING.

I gotta get me some of that candy.

Smoke said...

Ummm, I think we better wait.

sdock10 said...

My BP has been kinda high for 2 days. How can I get it to go down?

sdock10 said...

Jules,

Hhahahah!


Smoke,

Yeah, I just ain't feeling this one. They better take their happy asses to Florida! Fimmy will be so super jealous!

Smoke said...

*coughgotothedoctorcough*



That candy! Bwahaha!

Anonymous said...

Solly, you could drink lots of water and flush the excess salt out of your system. Sometimes your BP goes higher when you are a little dehydrated, too.

sdock10 said...

Smoke,

You should really go to the doctor. That cough sounds really bad.

RW,

O_O

Just cause, I wanted too.

Anonymous said...

ASSE angel sweets.

Anonymous said...

You know guys, this whole thing about having a cough, I'd go get that checked out. Solly, did "dude" smoke in the house?

Smoke said...

I'll be back later! Gotta go shower and get ready for House!

resurrected wreck said...

Have you guys seen these?

Anonymous said...

hi
:)

resurrected wreck said...

Solly: o_O

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, smiley anon :)

How's things?

sdock10 said...

No, Jules.

sdock10 said...

Ojamas! Nice!!

RW,

x_O

That's cause I have a headache.

Anonymous said...

OJAMAS! Sweet!

Solly, I'd get that cough looked at, you know. you don't want to leave things like that alone. Just a quick visit, breathe in, breathe out, end o' story.

I also recommend going to the crotch doctor at least once every two years just to make sure your bits and pieces are all pink and where they belong.

Anonymous said...

Have a good shower Princess! And when you come out you and Solly can share

Georgia DEEPRESS.

Anonymous said...

Make that "DEEPRESSO."

resurrected wreck said...

Aw, I iz sorry, Solly :(

Anonymous said...

Or you could drink Georgia Wild Drip.

resurrected wreck said...

I've never been to the crotch doctor, so for all I know my bits and pieces are green polka-dotted & floating willy nilly.

sdock10 said...

I need Gin, right? Yessssssss!

I like the Georgia Wild Drip!

sdock10 said...

RW,

*_*

resurrected wreck said...

Solly: >.<

Anonymous said...

O_O You should go. It's good to have someone look up in there once in a while. Also it's very empowering. I never went when I was a teen but then there comes that time when you need to go etc. and once you get past that "going the first time" thing, you realize they're not going to like shove tentacles up your business or crank it open with the jaws of life, then it's not so bad.

It's like, *cold thing, poke poke, prod prod* "Okay, get dressed!"

The whole thing seriously takes about two minutes.

Smoke said...

Oh, I just found out my cousin is missing. Nobody has heard from him and his cell phone number is changed. O_O

Anonymous said...

hi rw.
things are calmer tonight.
how's things with you?
:)

sdock10 said...

Doctor talk!

Must go get ready for House.

Catch you guys later!


RW,

U_U

Anonymous said...

They do ask you some personal questions though. "How many dudes have you banged? Were you a whore who didn't use protection? Did it look crusty? Are you banging someone as we speak? Do we need to use the HUGE speculum?"

Not in so many words, but still.

Anonymous said...

Princess that's crazy! You must be so worried. How long has s/he been missing? I hope everything's okay.

Smoke said...

Did it look crusty? O_O

resurrected wreck said...

Oh, I just found out my cousin is missing. Nobody has heard from him and his cell phone number is changed. O_O

Weird! How long has he been gone?

sdock10 said...

Smoke,

Say huh?

resurrected wreck said...

K: O_O

Anonymous said...

Well if he changed his cell phone number, then he must have done it on purpose, right?

resurrected wreck said...

O_O You should go. It's good to have someone look up in there once in a while.

My audience is up there all the time, whether they want to be or not. The world is my gynecologist.

Smoke said...

Well, it's not unusual for him to go off the deep end every now and then. He is supposed to check in at this place he stays at everyday because it's kind of like a probation thing, I think and he hasn't checked in.

Of course, my aunt immediately thinks my husband is with him.

Ummm, NOT! >_<

resurrected wreck said...

Good to hear, smiley anon :)

I'm well, thanks.

Anonymous said...

How many lovers have you all had? I'm a curios anon. RW and Kapu, have you ever had lovers either of you? Are either of you gay? Smoke did you marry your first sex partner?

resurrected wreck said...

It's like, *cold thing, poke poke, prod prod* "Okay, get dressed!"

The whole thing seriously takes about two minutes.


I know I should, but I don't have a family doctor in Toronto.

Smoke said...

I think she talked to him yesterday morning and that's the last anyone has heard from him.

Weird.

I hope he's okay. He seriously needs help and I don't know what it's gonna take before he realizes it.

Anonymous said...

0_o

Anonymous said...

She thought your husband was with him? Why the hell??

Smoke said...

Anon,

Say what?

O_O

resurrected wreck said...

Say what, 7:49pm?

resurrected wreck said...

SNAP, S&V!

Anonymous said...

RW: Ummm, but I doubt if they can actually see if you've got, like, fibroids or gnomes or something up there. O_O You can get a family doctor though, just look one up. And then have one look up you, HAHAHAA!

Anonymous said...

good to hear rw.
g'night to you.
:)

resurrected wreck said...

Gnomes!!

Bwahahahahaha!!

resurrected wreck said...

G'night, smiley :)

Anonymous said...

7:49 O_O Look I don't like to talk about that because my Mom reads here some of the time and she doesn't want to hear about stuff like that when it comes to her daughter, I'm sure. I lived with a dude for a really long time years ago and let's just leave it at that. Gah, stop saying embarrassing things.

Smoke said...

They were best friends in high school and used to get in a lot of trouble together. Well, most of the blame got put on you know who. Hahaha. As far as my aunt was concerned anyway. So she calls and she's like, "Have you seen your boy lately?" My husband is like, "Ummm, 'scuse me? What and who are you talking about?"

Gah, I just hope they find him.

Anonymous said...

Princess, how worried should you guys be? I hope everything's all right.

resurrected wreck said...

We've got a shortage of doctors taking new patients, K. Though if I perservere I should be able to find one.

Smoke said...

Well, I'll be back in a bit!

Smoke said...

Thanks guys! I'm sure he'll be fine. Well, he's not fine either way but I'm sure they'll find him.

I hope so anyway.

Anonymous said...

thank you for being honest kapu. I was a virgin until I was 25. How old were you? RW have you had lovers? How old was everyone else when they lost it?

resurrected wreck said...

Not telling, anon. Personal bizzness, I'm afraid.

Anonymous said...

I just realized that when I take my class on male reproductive health I'm going to look at and touch all kinds of troubled peens. O_O

Anonymous said...

Yeah that is super personal, actually. And like I said, my Mom doesn't want nor need to know these things.

Anonymous said...

i didn't marry my first sex partner 7:49. there has been more than one. i am not gay. nothing wrong if you are gay.

Anonymous said...

OMG, House is on at EIGHT! I almost forgot.

GOTTA GO! Byeeee!

resurrected wreck said...

Bye, K! ^_^

Anonymous said...

RW is a virgin

I always thought K slept with her english teacher, just a feeling.

resurrected wreck said...

RW is 40.

Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me! I appreciate your honesty K. I respect your privacy RW

Anonymous said...

my mom doesn't haunt the same places i haUnt. that is what she doesn't want or need to do. hasn't done that since i was a teenager. she does know i have had more than one sex partner. she does know i am not gay.

resurrected wreck said...

Thank you, 8pm.

Anonymous said...

So the 40 year Old Virgin, that was a movie.

resurrected wreck said...

RW is not Steve Carell.

resurrected wreck said...

I am, however, getting tired of the intrusive behavior.

Anonymous said...

just because rw has not answered the questions does not mean she's a virgin. good on her if she is.

Anonymous said...

I respect purity and personal decisions.

resurrected wreck said...

Lord almighty >_< Is this how the evening's going to go?

resurrected wreck said...

Sorry, 8:05 & 8:06pm. I didn't mean to sound snappy. I'm just not used to being drilled like this.

Intrusive anon, kindly back off and mind your own business.

Anonymous said...

Im a virgin! :)

Anonymous said...

i respect purity or celebacy, personal decisions and sexual freedom.
i respect monogamy most of all.

Anonymous said...

"I'm just not used to being drilled like this. "



There is your answer anons.

Anonymous said...

But when you said you never went to the OBGYN I figured you had never had sex, once you become sexually active you usually go to the OBGYN.

Anonymous said...

I'm Like a Virgin.

Anonymous said...

rw is a little slut. i bet it's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

Anonymous said...

hang onto it until the time is right 8:08.
it's allright rw. you don't owe any of us an explaination or apology.

Anonymous said...

8:13, you are an idiot.

Anonymous said...

What was his name Kapu, the guy you lived with. What did he look like. Could that person be Calaf?

Anonymous said...

Someone was desprate enough to want to live with kapu

Anonymous said...

Had to be some ugly back woods loser.

Anonymous said...

I bet it was a girl with a mustache

Anonymous said...

Why did he break up with you Kapu?

Anonymous said...

maybe he saw her naked hahaha

Anonymous said...

RW tell us about one boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

He didn't have to see her naked all he had to see was her face.

Anonymous said...

Do you think "Ugly Boy" will sleep with Kapu?

Anonymous said...

not a chance.

Anonymous said...

He is not even cute and she still doesnt have a chance

Anonymous said...

I know, its actually sad.

Anonymous said...

Will kapu ever get a man??

Anonymous said...

kapu never lived with a man. she dated one in college. they played video games together.

Anonymous said...

She's a skinny skank. Some people here are fat bitches but her bones show. It disgusts me.

Anonymous said...

Men usually don't like when girls are skinny like corpses.

Anonymous said...

What kind of men do they have in River Head? Probably truckers and ghetto people. Kapu tries to sound smart but you know she is really a ghetto type person.

Amyranth said...

Hey, fuck off and leave RW alone. What did she ever do to you?

-A

Anonymous said...

guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses.

Anonymous said...

"beautiful" boy is 17 years old. why would she want a chance with him? that's what i would like to know.

Anonymous said...

Why waste your time on people you dislike. Life is short.

Anonymous said...

17? OMG PEDOHPILE

Anonymous said...

well said amy.

Anonymous said...

pedophile

Anonymous said...

pedophiles are creepy.
creepy sick.

Anonymous said...

Kapu is a biatch

Anonymous said...

You anons are creepy and sick. Take a look in the mirror.

Anonymous said...

I dont think Kapu owns any mirrors but I dont blame her

Amyranth said...

And while you're at it, you're discussing sex lives of other people, when it's clear you have none of your own.

Go out, pay a hooker, and get laid, would you? It might take some of the stress off.

Anonymous said...

Amy I don't have a prob with RW and no one said anything nasty to her. Our problem is with Kapu and you get that. We are only being nasty to her. Not RW.

Anonymous said...

or visit a near by bar. that'll save them 40 dollars on the hooker.

Anonymous said...

How do you do?

Anonymous said...

I highly doubt they are even old enough to drive.

Anonymous said...

No one is nasty to RW, just Kapu and she deserves it.

Anonymous said...

The medicine on House is getting just full on stupid.

sdock10 said...

Agreed, Jules.

Anonymous said...

*squeezes RW*

What the fuck is going on in here?

8:54,

I don't like mirrors. I think they only make people feel self-conscious and critical about the way they look. I think having confidence is more important.

Anonymous said...

i do fine 8:59.
how do you do?

Anonymous said...

You know, some of you people are just plain mean. Why do you need to say things like that about me? Why does it make you feel good to try to hurt my feelings, hmm?

You're wrong about nearly everything you say about me.

I'm not going to tell you what his name was. You people get way too into my life.

He was a good guy but it never felt right to me. He didn't break up with me. He wanted to get married; I didn't. He said he loved me more than I loved him and that was true. But I also gave him more than he ever gave me.

I didn't date in college and I didn't play video games in college either.

I am not that skinny, I weigh 135.

Chris is not 17; he's 23.

Just because you say something about me doesn't make it true. It doesn't matter how many times you say it, or to whom. Even if people believe you, that still does not make it true.

I am a biatch though, and I own that. ;D

Anonymous said...

Now I'm going to try to watch Fringe and then Fringe in its original form when it was called X Files.

Anonymous said...

If you really dont care what people say about you what does it matter if they say it or not?

Anonymous said...

Liking somebody half your age is disgusting.

Anonymous said...

you're probably right 9:00.
no last call for them. if they're not old enough to drive
they're not old enough to drink.
they're going to need to stay home, drink and call that hooker.

Anonymous said...

I'm 135, am I fat now?

Anonymous said...

But anons, I've answered your many questions and allegations as well as I could. Don't you think you could return the favor?

Anonymous said...

He is not half my age.

135 is nowhere near fat but it's not "corpse-like" skinny either.

What is you guys' problem?

Anonymous said...

and vice versa kapu.
just because you say something about someone else
doesn't make it true.
you might want to keep notes about what you've said in the past.

Anonymous said...

BC & amy how do you do?

Anonymous said...

I just think you are ugly and nasty Kapu. I am allowed to have an opinion on you.

Anonymous said...

I have never seen someone who is ugly on the inside and out. I thought you have to be pretty atleast on one

Anonymous said...

K , don't you know, those anons are perfectly perfect in every way.

Anonymous said...

i do not weigh 135 pounds. that is the truth.

Anonymous said...

Anon, the things you've said I've said have been so exaggerated and in some cases made up. You keep saying you are "walking away" but you obviously have a huge throbbing hate on and you can't stop. I haven't made up lies about anyone here; yet you insist on making up lies about me and insulting me.

Stop being ridiculous. Stop messing up Mayo's blog. He's said he doesn't like it. You can hate me all you like; perhaps you can start up a hate blog just for me. But do try to respect the owner of the blog.

Anonymous said...

Kapu is ugly inside and out.

Anonymous said...

I have never seen someone who is ugly on the inside and out. I thought you have to be pretty atleast on one

November 11, 2008 9:20 PM

You are the one that is ugly on the outside. People call other people ugly, when they are jealous.

Anonymous said...

I thoguth you were "walking away" Kapu? But you are still here. Pot meet kettle



"Now I'm going to try to watch Fringe and then Fringe in its original form when it was called X Files."

Anonymous said...

And you won't even tell the name of the guy. Are you ashamed of him? Would he be ashamed of you? Probably.

Anonymous said...

Kapu you have to respect everyone not just one person, if you dont give respect do you really expect to get respect in return?

Amyranth said...

9:19, stuffing my face full of poutine, how about you?

Anonymous said...

biatch

Anonymous said...

Amyranth sign in.

Anonymous said...

UGLY BIATCH

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

and vice versa kapu.
just because you say something about someone else
doesn't make it true.
you might want to keep notes about what you've said in the past.

November 11, 2008 9:18 PM

Anonymous said...

TS IS HERE AS AN ANONYMOUS

Anonymous said...

Amyranth is brave true and strong. She stays signed in and does NOT play games. She has a man and can keep a man.

Anonymous said...

TS is always here as anonymous, too shameful to sign in and defend her "friends".

Anonymous said...

I would be ashamed if they were my frineds too.

Anonymous said...

And you won't even tell the name of the guy. Are you ashamed of him? Would he be ashamed of you? Probably.

Why don't you tell us everything about yourself?

Anonymous said...

He was probably a fat alcoholic slob who never took off his beer glasses. Can you imagine waking up to see her face every day? No way.

Anonymous said...

She doesn't give the name because he is imaginary

Anonymous said...

I've answered you guys. But I've yet to get an honest answer from you aside from "U UGLY."

Seriously, you guys.

Amyranth said...

9:24, OWND.

I've been signed in for the last 15 minutes. I'm EATING for fuck's sake.

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