It was written from another’s perspective. A recollection of a conversation turned first person. Expensive, anti-climactic words ringing in my ears with an unrelenting need to, once again, find voice. In reverse, they became a bit of guilt unfurled to reveal how my selfish needs superseded best interest. Recall that I held on too long, to that room, to that moment.
“Just say it, say it already”
“I don’t.”
As painful as it may have been to hear it rephrased in that manner, I never meant to be cruel. And now, when the melody of the moment presents itself, I am reminded to never again make that mistake. Although ironically, it was only after repeated cost that it became my lesson. I hope it has become yours, as well.
p.s. volumes like breadcrumbs lead back.
Friday, September 12, 2008
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It wasn't you at BN and INO. It was all the people you told the stories to. You KNOW that.
7:50, Yeah. Wonder if they planned that?
Hey, 7:42! Did you plan that?
L.
7:50 wasn't me.
Now, you just got done saying that it was two older women on BN and INO that said it.
I'm confused now.
L.
Sorry...7:50? Wasn't sure who I was talking to. See, this is why I asked for names.
L.
Shenanigan! I call shenanigan on 7:51
hi B
shame it come to this hey, it's be great it they'd leave us all to our various delusions and personality disorders and such
hope you enjoy your new home
and anons I still don't get why you feel the need to come here and do this, does it matter to anyone else what we do say or think?
unless somehow you all believe there is something going on here that gets back to people you want to communicate with. If this was just a blog with a heap of lonely people who want to pretend they can talk to a band member you'd have no interest.
I don't see why wasting your time coming here just to repeatedly tell people they are wrong is worth it.
Do you go hassle the Arty people at Myspace? or the CLB?
No, the rumour originated from you 2. Others went and spread it around. And I still think you are on both BN and INO so maybe it was you.
I call home base!
L.
Now you are trying to say that you wre talkign to Mayo / Gerard about leaving Eliza in Germany.
Since when do you stick up for Eliza? You hated her. Like you hate Jamia and LynZ. You were the ones who called LynZ a stupid lesbian.
Anonymous said...
Now you are trying to say that you wre talkign to Mayo / Gerard about leaving Eliza in Germany.
Since when do you stick up for Eliza? You hated her. Like you hate Jamia and LynZ. You were the ones who called LynZ a stupid lesbian.
September 12, 2008 7:58 PM
Have you been to Verita Venom's blog, people over there call Lyn-Z all sorts of names. That doesn't mean they started a rumor.
You wound me, 7:57. I can assure you that you won't find any footprints of ours at those sites.
Ergo, thank you. Why can't they let us poor delusional creatures be? If they just leave us to wander in a contained area, we will be no harm to society.
L.
Mayo, do see what your house has become? No longer is it full of your lovelies giggling and chattering around the table. The places are set, still untouched, hopeful that the space will soon be occupied once again. The seasons pass. Your house has become tainted, dark and cold. The embers are dying out, a faint glow replaces the roaring crackle of times gone by.
Have you really learned your lesson, or do you still allow your selfish needs to supersede best interest?
The point is that they hate all three women for breaking up Gerard and Frank who in their mind had an affair in Germany and are supposed to be lovers forever. So why would they stick up for Eliza all of a sudden?
thanks L :)
anyway I am actually leaving now,
thanks for the wishes L and everyone else who has said over the last few days
just make sure you all remember what is really important
♥xx♥
7:56,
What a coincidence. They were playing that episode of South Park the other day ^_^
Hi L and Ergo and any nice anons about.
Whoop whoop! Am I nearly finished packing? Well, uhh, nearly. Kinda. Sorta.
I started a wash and need to take a break; my back hurts. Packing makes my back hurt and I need my chair massager.
Is anyone around for AIM?
Ergo, once again, I am sorry for your friends and their families, and for you.
The point is that they hate all three women for breaking up Gerard and Frank who in their mind had an affair in Germany and are supposed to be lovers forever. So why would they stick up for Eliza all of a sudden?
thanks K
I want to hear more about this affair in Germany! HOT HOT
Anonymous said...
The point is that they hate all three women for breaking up Gerard and Frank who in their mind had an affair in Germany and are supposed to be lovers forever. So why would they stick up for Eliza all of a sudden?
September 12, 2008 8:07 PM
I should believe you because....
You already changed your story once and you can't provide evidence that they did what you said.
This is a blog.
The blog owner dosn't have any responsibility to the people who post here or those who no longer post here.
THe OPS know and everyone who remembers know. Sorry, I do not keep copies of everything they said. Pretty much everyone knows they believe Frank and Gerard had an affair in Germany. Using Eliza to cover up what they were saying is stupid and everyone knows that too. And everyone knows how they feel about Jamia.
8:01, I could say that I wish that was how it still was, but I would bet bullets to bootstraps that I would get a "It's all your fault that it's like this" or it's all someone else's fault. Because that's what it has become now, isn't it? Blame all around.
Many moons ago we could come in here and say what we felt without being attacked the moment a word came up. Now we walk on eggshells. Every single one of us.
I came here for a reason. That reason is no longer here.
Goodnight, BlogBelieve.
L.
THIS IS FOR SMOKE, SOLLY AND FIMBLE!
I know I always say that I never click on any link unless I know what it is because I hate that "surprise" factor. But I will say that this is our song for next week! ^____^
Pretty much everyone knows they believe Frank and Gerard had an affair in Germany
And this matters to you why?
I came here for a reason. That reason is no longer here.
Meaning Frank of course.
One last thing...
For you SS.
SYMPATHY
I know what the caged bird feels.
Ah me, when the sun is bright on the upland slopes,
when the wind blows soft through the springing grass
and the river floats like a sheet of glass,
when the first bird sings and the first bud ops,
and the faint perfume from its chalice steals.
I know what the caged bird feels.
I know why the caged bird beats his wing
till its blood is red on the cruel bars,
for he must fly back to his perch and cling
when he fain would be on the bow aswing.
And the blood still throbs in the old, old scars
and they pulse again with a keener sting.
I know why he beats his wing.
I know why the caged bird sings.
Ah, me, when its wings are bruised and its bosom sore.
It beats its bars and would be free.
It's not a carol of joy or glee,
but a prayer that it sends from its heart's deep core,
a plea that upward to heaven it flings.
I know why the caged bird sings.
Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)
Love,
L.
Anonymous said...
This is a blog.
The blog owner dosn't have any responsibility to the people who post here or those who no longer post here.
September 12, 2008 8:14 PM
Why did he say that he liked them and would fight for them, if he has no responsibility to them?
It matters because they started that rumour and because they are stupid enough to continue it on this blog. Do you think that Frank likes to hear about him cheating on Jamia? No, it's not nice.
JULESSSSSSSSSSSS!
AIM, you hussy!
For you, SS....
October 31. Halloween. The day for supernatural happenings, eerie noises, creepy feelings.
And to go along with the wonderfully weird world of scary things, October 31 is also the birthday of one of our favorite punk-rocker guitarists. You know who I'm talking about. The lean, not-so-mean, heavily-tattooed force known far and wide as:
FRANK IERO.
This October 31 we celebrate the 26th anniversary of the event that started a revolution. Frank Anthony Thomas Iero Jr. was brought into the universe very obviously to fulfill a dream: that of being the object of lust for millions (well, at least hundreds) (well, ok, about 50 of us on the Other Blog) of women the world over.
That being said, I would now like to present you with the following:
TOP 15 SIGNS YOU AND FRANK HAVE CELEBRATED HIS BIRTHDAY A LITTLE TOO WELL:
15--Faint backwards outline of "and" on your stomach.
14--Faint backwards outline of crossed handguns on your stomach (think about it...).
13--Faint backwards outline of "N.J." on your personal parts (think about that, too).
12--The screaming that the neighbors rep0rted to the police makes Leathermouth sound like Barry Manilow.
11--You find chocolate cake crumbs in some unmentionable places.
10--Makeup is smeared across the pillowcases--and you don't wear makeup.
9--The crotch of your jeans has been gnawed open (see No. 13).
8--You can't pass a tattoo parlor without getting moist.
7--There's a pink belt tied around one bedpost and a Frankenstein guitar strap tied around the other.
6--Your role-playing game was called "Franky Potter and His Magic Wand". ("Stir my cauldron, Wizard Boy!")
5--You used all your AA batteries, but not for his SoniCare toothbrush.
4--After about 30 minutes, he quit calling you "G".
3--Three words: Trick or Treat.
2--You can now answer the question "Just how flexible is he?"
and the Number One Sign You and Frank Have Celebrated His Birthday a Little Too Well:
You know why all the girls call him the King of Fuck Fest 2007.
Franky, if you happen to come across this, maybe it'll make you laugh a little. I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
Love you, baby.
J.
Be right on! Gonna take doggies out. Check out our song though, okeeee? :)
You are just coming here to get everyone mad at the OP's. Thats not going to happen....We will stand up for the OPs because we like them...you not so much.
I happen to like the top 15.
Anonymous said...
THe OPS know and everyone who remembers know. Sorry, I do not keep copies of everything they said. Pretty much everyone knows they believe Frank and Gerard had an affair in Germany. Using Eliza to cover up what they were saying is stupid and everyone knows that too. And everyone knows how they feel about Jamia.
September 12, 2008 8:16 PM
Let them make fools of themselves than. If they are spreading a rumor it will come back to them.
All you are doing is wasting everyone's time by beating this dead horse.
I wonder how Frank feels about it.
Post that as many times as you like, it doesn't mean anything but make you look like a crazy stalker.
YOU GUYSSSS! AAAIIM!
According to many people at recent shows, Frank does not like being the object of lust.
Post that as many times as you like, it doesn't mean anything but make you look like a crazy stalker.
post away stalker, i enjoy reading
L, why are you letting the crazy anons get to you like that? Just ignore them.
According to many people at recent shows, Frank does not like being the object of lust.
not to his face, but i doubt he would care about a storie.
WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY?
Guys, I THOUGHT WE WERE A UNIT!
*waits patiently*
I love how the ops go anon to defend themselves.
He would care. He would probably be disgusted. That's why maybe you should all STOP POSTING IT.
dont any of you young uns have chores to do after school?
Guys!
I THOUGHT WE WERE A UNIT!
*still waiting*
Don't be so damn pushy kap!
Mayo,
i guess your secret got out.
Hi, Gerard
OMFG.
O_O
>_<
Muwahaha.
Hiya RW* runs to RW, then gives her a big teddy bear-like squeeze* How was your day?
8:28,
Aw, I love how crazy paranoid you become when you make false assumptions ^_^
Hi & bye, K :)
Just checkin' in. Got a friend visiting, can't stick around.
Have a good night!
Hi S&V! :)
Hi BC! :) *squeeze*
Bye S&V and BC!
RW, sorry you can't hang. That sucks.
I thought we were a unit!
Bye RW *squeeze*
Fine, I see I will have to play with myself!
Suck my unit!
Oh Kirk, I love youuuuuuuuu! Have my baybies!
*watches*
IMO he doesn't care if it is a story being written. What he hates are when the fangirls scream they want to have his baby when he or another band is playing.
It is disrespectfully to him, the other fans and the other bands playing at the show.
I also think he would be horrorfied to find out that people who call themselves his fans would use a story like that to harass people.
[heading towards an ox] I need to bite its hide... and wear its stomach like a unitard.
I also think that SS, who you are pretending to be, wold he horrorfied to see you spell so much wrong while pretending to be him.
In a weird way I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that is was ok to be stupid or dumb.
I wasn't pretending to be SS
Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.
Can I interrupt my own attempt at merriment to say that maybe all the "SS this" and "SS that" and "stop pretending to be SS" and "I'm not pretending to be SS" and "What woudl SS think" and such has gotten so far out of hand it isn't even true?
That said, I miss the everloving crap out of S(S)S and I wonder if this kind of madness isn't making him want to stay away. >_<
Anonymous said...
I also think that SS, who you are pretending to be, wold he horrorfied to see you spell so much wrong while pretending to be him.
September 12, 2008 8:44 PM
you shouldn't comment on other people's spelling if you can't do it yourself.
would
horrified
My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
A picture of me?
YOU CAN'T TAKE THE EFFECT AND MAKE IT THE CAUSE!!!
Sorry, JW on the brain.
Hi errbody!
No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!
Principesa, you interrupted my flow!
Nah just kidding. How come we can't get you into the damn chat room? >_<
Cuz AIM is a mothereffin' bitch ass whore. >_<
Cover me, limp dick fuckers!
I get excited about my foods, man!
Talking money...
A talking monkey?
Talking monkey, yeah, yeah. Came here from the future, ugly sucker, only says "ficus".
THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS!
Oh, and,
OH YEAAHHHHH!
Did someone say blood?
Drink of my juice! It is the juice of life!
Hi smokie and tropic thunder anons
NOM NOM NOM
Dracula, the juice is the life.
Put me on some bread, then EAT ME.
I thought the blood was the life.
Wait, what?
My juice is my blood though.
Curiouser and curiouser.
*eats mayo on bread*
OH HAI GUIIIIISE!!!
War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma!
Eat yourself 9:04!
Did I fail to mention that I am, in fact, looking glass mayonnaise?
*spikes Kool Aid*
You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!
I feel unclean.
Would you like looking glass milk with that?
Would you like to suoersize?
Let's roll man! I'm done with the woods! Let's go! C'mon man let's get the fuck outta' here!
That's because I failed to mention what i spiked it with.
You have been a bad, bad kool aid.
You dirty boy.
Where the hell is my bag?
I have three faults, you know.
O_o
OHHH YEAH!
*jumps inside kool aid*
I was wondering where kool aid pitcher was at all this time.. Hi kool aid, and the infamous Dracula.
*Does the breast stroke*
*and swims a little too*
Oh now look what you've done!
Well I'm not cleaning it up!
Would like to add that I was comment 309 at 9:12 on 9/12.
*cracks, leaks*
Why the fuck am I wearing a waistcoat?
Do you have pants on?
I can't even tell the time so I don't actually know whether I'm late or not. I really should get one of those digital watches, or maybe the nice swatch watches that I can change the wristband to co-ordinate with my outfit. Oh yes, that's what I'll do.
*spills all over the floor*
Whooooooaaaa!
Perhaps you are late as in "deceased."
OPL (NSI) said...
Is there anyone sane here?
L.
only a handful of sane people remain. they took the day off.
;-)
Kool Aid, can't you contain yourself?
I am drenched in Kool Aid that I spiked with my love.
I'm dead? That explains why I'm not wearing any pants!
good to see kapunua back as all the beverages and other characters.
Geez Bert, look at what you just did ^_^
A sentient Kool Aid Pitcher? Well think about it! There are past reports of objects moving around by themselves.
But Mulder, none of those reports have ever been substantiated! THis is ridiculous!
Fox, we've been over this. It's just juice. You're looking for something that isn't there. You have to let it go.
*leaves the room*
OOHHHH YEA-....
*shatters to pieces*
*facepalms*
9:19,
It is. It's a good way to break the ridiculous drama from earlier.
And I have to admit, the characters are funny.
Hi second anon at 9:18 :)
*comes into the room*
*slips on spilled Kool Aid*
*begins to melt into Kool Aid and merge into one being*
I think, therefore I am.
not really
And now...
I HUNGER!
...
Uh oh.
*sidles up to bert*
Hello wee little man.
EEEEEE!
It kind of tickles.
Anonymous said...
No, the rumour originated from you 2. Others went and spread it around. And I still think you are on both BN and INO so maybe it was you.
September 12, 2008 7:57 PM
witch witch
they have the mark of the devil
i saw them dancing naked in the forest
looking up at the moon
burn them at the stake
quick
before their evil spreads
witch witch
Stop squirming. I am trying to make a lucid transaction with you!
*Consumes Bert*
Ahhh, now who is next?
Geez Bert, look at what you just did now ^_^
No! Scully, help!
Mulder, it's me! Where are you?
I can't help you! I need help!
I've been waxing without a device and now my legs are stuck together!
I'm being attacked by a sentient conglomerate! Somethign kind of sugary, yet gooey and white, and at the same time kind of dirty!
*sigh*
Mcmayoaid,
You can always try dracula next.
BORING!
Mulder and Scully suck donkey balls.
You're not boring, don't be so hard on yourself. Once I've completed this personality implant procedure you'll feel much better about yourself.
OMG! Don't stop!
"Hard."
"On."
Oh, terribly sorry. That was the Bert side of me manifesting.
I can help!
I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipes, and swallow the gravy.
Hi :)
Hi RW *gives RW another teddy bear-like squeeze*
Hi, RW. :)
hello.
i have to admit, though i'm happy to see a new post from mayo, the anon conversation at the beginning has left me very unsettled. i'll read more. i'll try not too worry.
Hi BC :) *squeeze*
Hi, K and TJ! :)
Hi Tj.
If you're going through the comments, Try to remain calm.
9:38,
Don't be such a stick in the mud. Everyone likes kool-aid. Fruit punch is the best ^_^
hi resurrected wreck, hi bc.
good advice, bc, but too late i'm afraid. the anon attack on the ops is sadly not a surprise. you think people would grow up. but the post itself, and some of the comments afterwards...
i can't help it. i worry.
I Love The Witches that dance naked in the forest....ahh what sweet memories.....the good old days!!
sky clad ain't all it's cracked up to be, you know.
I just got an email from Laura who tells me that Havoc is settling in and getting comfy at her place. He let her rub his eyes before bed time.
he hugged me before I left today, he actually put his little wings as far around me as they would go and his little face on my shoulder. It was hard to leave him!
Awwwww! I ♥ Havoc! :)
I don't blame you TJ. Hi smokie. Something wrong?
Hi anon :)
How was your day RW?
Not really, BC. You okay?
I do too, Princess! I wish you could meet him but he would only scream at you. I am the only one who gets crow hugs. ;D
Well guys, you know what time it is.
TA WATH.
Hi, S&V! :D
Why ain't you out on a date??
Awwwwwww! ^_^
I gotta go, too.
Night BlogBelieve! Night Mayo! Night SS!
My day was good, thank you, BC :) Though I have decided that Friday afternoons are not the best time to start new projects at work. My mind nearly went into meltdown.
How was your day?
Night night, S&V :)
Oh! We went out to dinner earlier, RW! It was nice! ^_^
See you guys tomorrow!
Lovely, S&V ^_^
Have a good night!
Why do my boobs hurt?
It's not time of the month, so someone please tell me why my boobs hurt?
I'm okay smoke, thanks.
Anonymous said...
Mulder and Scully suck donkey balls.
September 12, 2008 9:39 PM
I hear Mulder is getting help for that problem. Don't know about Scully.
i have no answers for you, resurrected wreck.
toujours said...
hi resurrected wreck, hi bc.
good advice, bc, but too late i'm afraid. the anon attack on the ops is sadly not a surprise. you think people would grow up.
yes, you would think they would have outgrown that type of behaviour by 5th grade. apparently not.
Goodnight Smoke, sweet dreams. I forgot to say, happy late anniversary!
That's good RW. How was that prewedding party? ^_^
My day was alright. It was raining yet again, and it made it a bit uncomfortable for me, but I did get to eat some pizza.
I'm getting an eye exam tomorrow in order to get new glasses(I had mines for more than 3 years), and then after that I'm getting my hair done :)
maybe your boobs need some attention, resurrected wreck. a nice, gentle massage might do the trick.
;-)
O_o
Well, I am going in for a salt scrub/aromatherapy massage tomorrow, 10:35pm. I don't know how - ahem - "thorough" they're going to be.
RW, maybe it's from stress?
Does stress cause the boobs to be sore?
That's good RW. How was that prewedding party? ^_^
It was quite nice. Very low-key. Just the people in wardrobe and props, snacks & wine.
Does stress cause the boobs to be sore?
Dunno. Possibly. I'm not stressed though. I suspect it's something hormonal. It is said that in the decade before menopause breast tenderness is at it's peak. Maybe that's all it is.
Or I may have been leaning funny at the lunch table lately.
i would request an extra thorough massage, resurrected wreck. i would do that only after i request an extra attractive male massage therapist.
^_^
thank you 10:33. fortunately, the op's are very strong women, and i know they are better than the ones attacking them.
Your suggestion does have some merit, 10:40pm to be sure.
However, when my boobs get sensitive like this the very thought of anyone touching them makes me want to punch them right in the nose.
i agree, toujours. it's just such ashame they have to deal with such juvenile behavior and so much hatred and bullying here.
A boob message does sound nice. You should try it RW.
o_O
i don't think she would get a satisfactory massage if she punches the massage therapist in the nose, bleeding chaos. mayhaps he could massage your boobs instead?
^_~
Good idea!
Hi other anon(if it's not the same one)
I could go for a neck message. Sighs.
Oooo! A neck massage! That sounds just the ticket!
Boobs anon, well, I had my chest massaged before, and honestly, it felt nice. That opportunity will only be reserved for the future man in my life.
Well, unless you're a really cute message therapist, then I will make an exception.
same anon, bleeding chaos. i would offer my services but i don't think my arms are long enough to reach you. close your eyes and imagine my hands gently and masterfully kneeding you neck. in a few minutes i will apply more pressure and some heat then work my hands up to the base of your skull and down to your shoulders.
^_~
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