Monday, August 4, 2008

Your obituary won't mention you have a huge house and a plasma t.v.

My Grandma used to say "You only get so many words when you're born and once you've used them up...that's it."

She said the same thing about steps too.

"Once they're gone you don't get anymore."

Words and steps, I think she meant that they are the measure of a life.

She was a cool lady.





p.s. and in those last few moments they won't occur to you either.

4,595 comments:

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MissTottenham said...

That's cool Ergo.

I had only heard the same ones as Amy plus that birdhouse in your soul one.

ergoproxy said...

particle man particle man
doin the things a particle can
what's he like it's not important
particle man

is he a dot or is he a speck
if he's underwater does he get wet
or does the water get him instead
nobody knows particle man



I love TMBG

resurrected wreck said...

I still can't decide what colour to paint my bedroom & it's making me CRAZY!

resurrected wreck said...

Hell, maybe I'll just leave it alone until a colour grabs me.

Amyranth said...

What about yellow RW?

-A

ergoproxy said...

have you looked at the paint websites?

some have examples of rooms to see colour looks

resurrected wreck said...

What about yellow RW?

O_o

I think not, A! I'd like it to be either a light red (but not pink) or a sagey green, I think.

resurrected wreck said...

have you looked at the paint websites?

some have examples of rooms to see colour looks


Yep, I've been doing that. Still stumped, though :/

MissTottenham said...

Yay go with the yellow RW.

resurrected wreck said...

No yellow, Miss T!!

resurrected wreck said...

I would prefer a shade of red, but I'm having a hard time finding one that's not too dark but isn't pink.

Amyranth said...

The only problem is, the only light red I think I've ever seen IS pink.

I think.

- Cap'n A was mutinied over pizza.

ergoproxy said...

missT Cap'm is off their latest album called The Else
It's different to other albums as the songs are more traditional length, rather than shorter
There are some great songs, with their great little obscure lyrics

eg. Catbug is a cat but he has bugness in his veins


and my favourite song of it is
the Mesopotamians

it just makes me so happy!

"Sargon Hamurabi Ashurbanipal and Gilgamesh"

sdock10 said...

Hi Guys,

Wassup? What have I missed? I am too tired to read back. How is everyone tonight?

MissTottenham said...

Red sucks. yellow is the way to go for sure hee hee!

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Any pizza left???

resurrected wreck said...

The only problem is, the only light red I think I've ever seen IS pink.

If I could find a light shade of burgundy that might work.

resurrected wreck said...

MMMMM, PUMPKIN PIE!!

MissTottenham said...

Hiya Solly sweetie, how are you?




LOL Ergo, I can tell you like them. I can hear the excitment in your voice when you describe them.

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, Solly! :D

How was your day?

resurrected wreck said...

No yellow, Miss T!!!!!! >_<

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Pumpkin Pizza????

MissTottenham said...

Hiya death by pumkin pie, I don't think we've met.

How are you sweetie?

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

I'm a good. How are you?

resurrected wreck said...

Pumpkin pizza?

O_o

ergoproxy said...

hi sdock hi DBPP

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Hello Ergo!

ergoproxy said...

anything like this RW?

MissTottenham said...

I'm good too thanks DBPP.




RW, look into my eyes.

you are feeling very sleepy, you are feeling an urge to paint your room yellow.

Yellow, yellow, yellow.

sdock10 said...

I'm so meffin' tired. I worked for half the day and went to the mall with Smoke. We bough new old Jack White and some candy.


Mayo,

Before I forget, Smoke has something to tell you when she gets home which should be in any minute now.

MissTottenham said...

Did you have a nice time though solly?

Tired is good if you had a nice time.

resurrected wreck said...

Too pink, EP.

ergoproxy said...

3rd or 4th along 2nd from the bottom?

resurrected wreck said...

Miss T: @_@

sdock10 said...

Yeah, we did. We laughed a lot, especially at this place and all of you guys.

resurrected wreck said...

They're either too pink or too purple, EP.

ergoproxy said...

wow there are a lot of reds!

ergoproxy said...

RW try the "fresh" reds at that same link

sdock10 said...

Bath time, be back in a bit.

ergoproxy said...

or click across one to the oranges

ergoproxy said...

who makes the rasberry truffle you have already?

resurrected wreck said...

Nothing's tickling my fancy at the moment, EP, but I shall try again later.

Thanks for the link :)

MissTottenham said...

See you later Solly.

resurrected wreck said...

who makes the rasberry truffle you have already?

Benjamin Moore.

resurrected wreck said...

Bye for now, Solly :)

DON'T USE UP ALL THE SOAP!

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Raspberry Truffle paint??? That sounds yummy.

MissTottenham said...

Sounds good enough to lick.

Smoke said...

MAYO!!!

DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY STUFF,
PET THE SWEATY STUFF.


A very funny guy told me that once.
Words to live by, dude. Trust me!

^_^

Hi errbody! Going to take a shower now and I'll be back in a bit!

resurrected wreck said...

Hi & bye, S&V! :)

DON'T USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER!

MissTottenham said...

Blimey smoke, what an entrance.

ergoproxy said...

that's ok RW I know what it's like, I have a hallway undercoated now for oooh 3 years? as I cannot decide what to paint it

and sdock and smoke in synchronised showering!

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

I'm off to go make some cookies. Be back later.

Bye :)

resurrected wreck said...

Hi, BC! :)

*squeeze*

resurrected wreck said...

Have fun, Pumpkin Pie :)

MissTottenham said...

See you later DBPP.



Hiya BC sweetie, how are you?

ergoproxy said...

hi BC


oooh cookies DBPP? bring some back pleeze :)

resurrected wreck said...

Gonna go shower with Solly & S&V, back in a bit...

Anonymous said...

FOAM PARTY!!!

Only, not really.

;)

Anonymous said...

Bye pumpkin. I'm good, tired, and feeling strange Miss T, so I went to order a pizza. I'm just taking it easy today.

How are you? *hugs*

Hi RW *big squeeze* how was your day? Hi Ergo

Anonymous said...

Hi mustard, enjoy your shower RW

MissTottenham said...

Oooooooer RW and Solly getting soapy together.


I'm good thanks BC. All this pizza talk is making me drool though.

ergoproxy said...

wow maybe we should all shower?

do they know something we don't?

Hi again mustard

Anonymous said...

Poor Miss T lol

I'm gonna go rest for a bit. Later guys

Smoke said...

MUSSSTTTAAAAARRRRDDD!!!!

Did ya see what I told Mayo up there? Did ya? We're gonna have that put on the back of his pimped out track suit.

Bwah!

^_^

MissTottenham said...

See you later BC. Enjoy the pizza.




*whips off clothes and puts on shower cap and grabs loofah*

You were saying Ergo?

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

*passes out cookies to everyone*

enjoy!

MissTottenham said...

Ooooooo thanks DBPP, these are gorgeous.

*wipes crumbs from chin*


Scrummy.








LOL smoke, has mayo got hiimself a chav trackie?

Smoke said...

He totally does!

*munches on cookie*

He's gonna have his own pimp cup/goblet thingie and his own grill.

Big Pimpin' Mayo! :)

Hee-hee.

MissTottenham said...

He has to have the bling too smoke.

One of those huge gold chains that looks like a bike chain.

And sovereigns on every finger.

ergoproxy said...

oh thanks DBPP

I just did my workout extra hard so I could eat cookies


Mayo be lookin fly

Smoke said...

He is sooo fly. ^_~

Okay, I'll be back in a bit. Going to watch Intervention.

Later!

MissTottenham said...

Mayo be slammin'

Anonymous said...

Mayo should get the "Mack of The Year" award.

MissTottenham said...

Later smoke.

MissTottenham said...

LOL anon.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

*giggles......had a visual of Pimp Mayo*

resurrected wreck said...

We had homemade peach pie at work today.

YUM!

Amyranth said...

Does anyone else watch Wedding SOS on Slice?

-A is horrified

MissTottenham said...

Has no idea what Amy is talking about.

resurrected wreck said...

Never heard of it, A.

Amyranth said...

Well, it's a show where people who are having a hard time planning their weddings, get three wishes from a wedding planner to help get stuff done.

So, anyway, on this show, there's a girl who has left the wedding entirely up to her maid-of-honor, and she refuses to even help work on the wedding. Especially because from Monday to Friday, they drive out to the farm to ride their horses.

However, the bride is constantly throwing fits because nothing is to her liking, even though she refuses to help plan.

Reality TV at it's best.

-A

resurrected wreck said...

Oh! That soudns like the show one of my co-workers was telling me about. She watched a hillbilly wedding where the bride cut wedges out of a potato for her granny to insert in the gaps between her remaining teeth so she could smile all pretty for the wedding photos.

MissTottenham said...

Well, it's goodnight from me.

Have fun everyone.

Take care.

Byeeee.

ergoproxy said...

oh amy people will do anything t be on Tv!

there is a show called Don't tell the Bride where the groom gets to plan everything, even her dress
who in their right mind would trust most men to do that, unless he's gay, in which case he's unlikely to be the groom

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Does anyone watch 'The Mole'??? I missed it last week and I don't know what happened.

ergoproxy said...

She watched a hillbilly wedding where the bride cut wedges out of a potato for her granny to insert in the gaps between her remaining teeth so she could smile all pretty for the wedding photos.



.......*is speechless*







Goodnight missT sweet dreams

resurrected wreck said...

Have a good night, Miss T :)

resurrected wreck said...

I haven't heard of The Mole, Pumpkin Pie. What's it about?

ergoproxy said...

we had an aussie The Mole it was good, but they never made a second one

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

It's a reality show. You have a group of people doing challenges every week and if they complete the task a certain amount of money goes in the pot that will go to the winner at the end. But..... there is someone (The Mole) who is not what he/she seems and tries to cleverly sabotage the challenges. Who the Mole is....is a secret.

ergoproxy said...

Rw it's fun to try and guess who it is, the contestants guess each week don't they? and one gets knocked out?

resurrected wreck said...

But..... there is someone (The Mole) who is not what he/she seems and tries to cleverly sabotage the challenges. Who the Mole is....is a secret.

Hmm, interesting..

Is it a good show?

resurrected wreck said...

If the contestants discover who the mole is, are they allowed to kill them?

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Yes ergo. Tonight is the finale.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

If the contestants discover who the mole is, are they allowed to kill them?



LOL, That would make it really interesting.

Amyranth said...

O_O

POTATOES RW?

POTATOES?!?!

-A

ergoproxy said...

haha I googled it and there were 4 seasons but it was a few years ago and I'd forgotten

ergoproxy said...

who do you think the mole is DBPP? do you have a firm idea?

resurrected wreck said...

POTATOES, A!

Believe it or not!

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

I missed it last week so I don't know who got booted. But my guess is the woman who is left(if she didn't lose last week). I forget her name.

Anonymous said...

Whoop whoop! I paired with Beautiful Boy tonight for both partnered stretches and chest strikes, so I'm pretty sure I scored.


^____^

ergoproxy said...

Amy new job idea!

You and RW go into cut price dentistry
supply false teeth which are organic, environmentally friendly, recyclable and if you accidentally swallow one it's ok, as it's also a source of fibre

Anonymous said...

Umm. 4320 (9) at 9:39. Whoop, uhh, whoop? O_o

resurrected wreck said...

Go, K!! :D

resurrected wreck said...

Nice, EP ^_^

Amyranth said...

Well, I'm not paying anymore money to my scam artist of a dentist.

I'll just use potatoes.

-A

Anonymous said...

Death by pumpkin pie, the finale of the Mole is tonight 10 est. They will reveal the Mole and the winner. It's down to Nicole, Craig and Mark. I think Nicole is the mole, too.

resurrected wreck said...

Potatoes are dentistry's best kept secret.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Yes, that's her name. Thank you!!! I really do think it's her too.

resurrected wreck said...

My parents called from Australia last night. I talked to my nephew for the first time. He told me "Hi", and "Fast cars go vroom vroom", and "Night night".

He's 2.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

But potatoes turn brown so quickly.

resurrected wreck said...

They they'll fit right in with hilbilly teeth!

Anonymous said...

Okay, this is me going from a good mood to a crappy mood.

Bush to relax protected species rules.

Plan takes scientists out of decision making on species status

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration on Monday said it plans to let federal agencies decide for themselves whether highways, dams, mines and other construction projects might harm endangered animals and plants.

The proposal, which does not require the approval of Congress, would reduce the mandatory, independent reviews that government scientists have been performing for 35 years. Developers welcomed the plan, while environmentalists derided it.

Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne said late Monday the changes were needed to ensure that the Endangered Species Act would not be used as a “back door” to regulate the gases blamed for global warming. In May, the polar bear became the first species declared as threatened because of climate change. Warming temperatures are expected to melt the sea ice the bear depends on for survival.



Really read it, read the whole thing and try to find the "logic" in it, and try to feel what they are really saying. It's not hard. They didn't even try to pretty it up or make it seem innocuous this time. They don't even care what it seems like anymore. It's just like, "Well, we're putting it in the hands of big businesses now because we don't want the environment's protection to get in the way."

How can this not just burn people up? It affects the whole world, not just america.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Seriously, how would you brush and floss potatoes???

Amyranth said...

And we'll call them Ergo's Eco-Friendly Exsanguinators.

..

Okay, too much?

-A

resurrected wreck said...

Sounds like he's going to inflict as much damage as he can in the limited time he has left in office, K.

resurrected wreck said...

How can this not just burn people up? It affects the whole world, not just america.

Which is why many of my friends and I believe that the world should be able to vote in American elections, not just Americans, as being such a powerful/influential nation the results affect the globe, not just one country.

Anonymous said...

Goodnight, guys.

But first, I'd just like to ask a question.

Is it the Bush Administration's goal to completely alienate the American people, piss the entire rest of the world off, and do an overhaul of everything we, as a nation, have worked so hard to build?

Because if that's the goal, it's a bunch of bullshit, I'm sorry. Enough is enough, and enough happened seven years ago.

Now I'm going. I hope you guys are well.

Goodnight, Mayo. Goodnight, SS. Take care, guys.

:)

Amyranth said...

Pumpkin, you wouldn't.

You'd eat them, and carve yourself another pair.

-A

Anonymous said...

Okay, well high fives to RW for saying it in a much better way. :)

Goodnight now!

resurrected wreck said...

Night, Mustard :)

I'm turning in as well. Have a good night, everyone :)

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Raw potatoes.....ack!!!

The Mole is on. Gotta go.


Byeeee :)

ergoproxy said...

RW that would be interesting


A love the name!

ergoproxy said...

..or spit them into a pan of hot oil and have chips!



bye DBPP let us know who it is


goodnight mustard sweet dreams
goodnight RW sweet dreams too (hope you dream of your bedroom colours)

Anonymous said...

RW, that's what I think, too. It's like he's getting in his last few shots, and they are knockouts.

Splash, I'm not sure what his social agenda is, but his political one is really, really scary. The thing is that he and his people, his administration and above, even, have amassed so much power that it doesn't matter anymore who he alienates.

Doesn't that sound familiar?

Amyranth said...

ergoproxy said...

..or spit them into a pan of hot oil and have chips!

>_O

Are we talking teeth or fangs? Cause I'm not suggesting we put them on Jungle Animals or anything...

*a low growl comes from behind the couch*

Lear agrees.

-A

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Ummm, yeah, so I am watching this episode of Intervention. This girl is huffing that duster stuff that you use to clean your computer. She just sticks the nozzle in her mouth and inhales, like 10 cans a day. She also cuts herself and doesn't eat.

Why am I telling you this? Because, there's always someone out there who feels lonelier and more fucked up than we do. It's so sad to watch her push away her family who so desperately wants to help her, to reach her. This girl doesn't care if she dies....she expects to die.

She finally agrees to treatment but only after she has run out of options and has hit rock bottom. She is getting help and finally realizing why she does the things she does. She has been sober since May of 2008.

Shows like that really hit me in the gut. I don't know what it is inside of me that relates so much to people like that. I guess it's just that I realize that I'm not all that different from them.

Not at all. Not even a little bit.

Mayo, hope you have a nice night. Hope you look around you and find someone's hand to grab hold to. Not for you, but for them.

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. fundaMentally flawed.

ergoproxy said...

well amy you never know how far our Solanum Empire could stretch!!!

vets, zoos...the possibilities are only limited by the size of our spuds!




K can the next administration just change stuff back?

Anonymous said...

It's Me

I know....long time no be here.

Hate to barge in here after being gone for awhile, but I have been thinking about things and just did not know where else to turn, but to you and see what your thoughts were. So here it goes and I am sorry up front if I am "hogging the blog".

As I sit here and wonder what is happening to my life…who can I turn to….to make sense out of me….out of my life.

I have a complicated family….relative by birth…relative by marriage…relative just because they were part of my family growing up. My boyfriend calls us the hodge-podge family….can’t really blame him….it does get a bit complicated.

As I get older and more relatives leave me, I know things should be different. Time has gone and we have all settled into our own little lives. Some intertwine, but most do not.

My heart keeps telling me it should not be like this! But I am only one person and I have failed! It is a far bigger task then I could ever hope of taking on alone and winning.

So now my self-preservation instinct has kicked in and I feel I need to “drop” some of them….leave them by the road side to “fend for themselves”….because I am just one human….I have no control over them and I do have a life that should be worth living without having to worry about if I did the right thing.

Wondering if they liked their Christmas gift or their birthday card….did they really care that I remembered them. If I “forgot” about them, would they really care.....

Amyranth said...

It's Me,

The thing about relatives, whether they're by blood or by paper, or even in your heart, is that they are ALWAYS there. They are still another physical body that you can turn to in a time of crisis, usually regardless of how close you are.

-A

Anonymous said...

I dunno, Ergo. Obama and his folks would have to fight really hard, and there's a lot on his plate already, because he's got to get us out of this insane war as well as struggle with an unprecedented national debt, unprecedented unemployment and general all around misery and loss of rights.

What I really fear is that it goes wayyyyy deeper than just the current administration. I'm afraid that as much as I am for Obama, if he does get in there, while he will clean up some of the damage, much of it is permanent and in those cases he'd be little more than a figure-head.

With his hands tied by people way bigger than he is (and what will doubtless be a conservative chokehold on the nation regardless of who is president,) even the people who did support him will lose faith in him and then four years later we will be stuck once again with another Bush administration under a different name.

Sometimes I am really, really afraid.

ergoproxy said...

goodnight sdock sweet dreams

Anonymous said...

It's Me

The thing about relatives, whether they're by blood or by paper, or even in your heart, is that they are ALWAYS there. They are still another physical body that you can turn to in a time of crisis, usually regardless of how close you are.

Amyranth...that is not the case...I firmly believe that some of them would not have a clue as to how to help....or even if they would want to help...or it would be "something" they need to do.

I appreciate the kind words...I just do not feel the love anymore.

Amyranth said...

Wondering if they liked their Christmas gift or their birthday card….did they really care that I remembered them. If I “forgot” about them, would they really care.....

I bet you they loved them.

-A

Anonymous said...

It's Me

Amyranth...do you know what it feels like to be in the same room as your mom and you start crying and there is no hug....

Does she understand or is it just because we have ALWAYS been like that.

You don't know how much I really wanted that hug.

Amyranth said...

Amyranth...that is not the case...I firmly believe that some of them would not have a clue as to how to help....or even if they would want to help...or it would be "something" they need to do.

I appreciate the kind words...I just do not feel the love anymore.


That is truly a sad situation It's Me.

But you did say yourself, you are a person with your own life to live.

"You have to do for yourself, because nobody else will."

At the end of the day, you have to look out for you.

-A

Anonymous said...

Here's another worrisome thing going on. Bush has demanded that Russia pull out of their military strike on Russia.

Well, yeah.

But, what if they don't? What can we do? Well if Murrika says something and the Russians don't listen, two things happen: One, The Russians become The Bad Guys in all the movies again.* Two: Murrika loses face. The country looks bad. I mean, we'd have to do something to enforce that, right? Bush ain't gonna just stand there and stomp his feet.

But the thing is, HI, OUR MILITARY IS A LITTLE TIED UP RIGHT NOW, K THX!!!! So we'd be pretty much powerless if Russia was like, "Yeah? Make me!"

It's an all-around bad situation.





















*What I really mean to say is that America will be force-fed the typical anti-Russian propaganda that we saw all during the 80's, and another "cold war."

ergoproxy said...

hello It's me

you know I always have time for friends and family but sometimes some of them always seem to be taking and never giving. Or you feel the reliance is upon you to always be the one who is there for them, though you feel they are never really there for you.
In situations like that I think it is reasonable to turn a little and focus on yourself, you seem to feel your identity is inextricably tied with theirs.
It is like that, it's just what happens, links may become lesser but they are still there. There comes a time when people do grow and move on and the closeness that was there changes to something new.
It's not a failing, it's just what happens
You obviously care a lot, and it's not like you are dropping them, it's just that you are now living your life


did that at all make sense?

Anonymous said...

It's Me

Amyranth...please do not get me wrong....I grew up in a household that met our "needs"....clothes, food, roof over our heads. What was missing was the emotional bond.

I really do not remember my younger siblings as babies...only when they started to walk and talk. I wonder why that is...why don't I remember them.

ergoproxy said...

If you cannot rely on your family than rely on your new family, your boyfriend, friends and others.
Family isn't always perfect, and it can't always supply what we need.

and once again
it's not you failing, you live for you

if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was

Anonymous said...

Also, you may or may not notice, but under Bush's administration, Murrika kinda more or less illegally invaded and occupied a country too. So really, Putin can just turn around and say, "You're one to talk, dick."

Anonymous said...

I know I shouldn't have refreshed, but I did.


It's Me:

I'm really sorry about the position you're in. All I can say is that I know how part of you feels. I've been there, and it's a place I don't like to go back to, you know?

It's hard when it happens with friends, even harder when it happens with your own blood. And I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I think you'll figure it out. I think something will happen and you'll say, "Oh, yeah. There you are.

But, in the meantime, you know you have us here if you need another outlet or if you don't feel there's anyone else you can unload on. :)

I hope everything turns out okay for you.

Anonymous said...

I, like a moron, said:

Bush has demanded that Russia pull out of their military strike on Russia.

Georgia. Clearly I meant Georgia.

I are smart and aware. ;D

Anonymous said...

It's Me

ergoproxy....I guess since I am laying it all out....we were never really close. I was close to one simbling.....we played and did things together....but the others...total of 4....were never close. We knew we were related, but that is just about all.

So now years later..it is just the same.

ergoproxy said...

It's me how much younger? were they. I don't remember much of my brother as a toddler at all, we are 4 years apart
it's just your memeory, it doesn't mean you didn't care. Recall is different for different people

Anonymous said...

It's Me

*grabs tissue to dry eyes*

I knew I could get a lot of feed back from you all.

mustard is better....I hear you and thank you for being there and listening.

ergoproxy said...

yeah it's hard to be all "get out" if you did the same thing

toujours said...

hello.

i've been reading along.

it's me, it's perfectly alright to decide to focus on what you need, to reduce your interactions with your extended family. your own mental, emotional and physical well-being comes first.

and those family members that truly love you, that you have a true connection with, they will understand and be patient with while you recharge your batteries and reconnect with yourself.

they are your family, it's true, but you also have a responsibility to yourself.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Anon, when I read what you wrote I thought to myself 'are we the same person. Did I just write that and I don't remember dong it?" I know I didn't write it but I know exactly what you are saying. I'm there. I don't know what else to say except that I hope it gets better for you :)

Anonymous said...

It's Me

It's me how much younger? were they. I don't remember much of my brother as a toddler at all, we are 4 years apart
it's just your memeory, it doesn't mean you didn't care. Recall is different for different people


I would have been about 7 and 9. You would think I would remember a bit more about them being a baby.

ergoproxy said...

It's me

to be all Dr Phil:

deal with what IS now, it's easy to get caught up in why's and what should or could have been, but you need to manage your life.
That is the most important thing. And if you are feeling a bit emotionally weakened, then find strength in those who you know care about you.
It's something that you'll always think of, but don't let it affect your decisions now, do what is best for you, and if your family sees you living a strong authentic life, it may be what they need to see you differently.
And if they don't , well it will be their loss. As you seem to be a very loving and sensitive person.

Anonymous said...

It's Me

toujours...what is a connection?....maybe there was no connection to begin with....

How long do you continue on?

Shouldn't there always be a connection reguardless of what is happening? Maybe the connection was never there to begin with? What do you have to work with then, but run yourself down wondering....wondering....wondering

I hear you about if a person takes a step out.....but if there was nothing there to begin with...doesn't it make it harder to continue?

Anonymous said...

Yes, ergoproxy. The next administration can change it back if they care enough to do it.

Amyranth said...

It's Me

Hey, hey.. listen, don't worry about it.

On my mother's side of the family the only person I really feel close to is my grandmother.

There are six other grandkids, and I barely keep in contact with them at all. Even my Aunts and Uncles are rarely ever talked to.

On my father's side, I don't talk to anyone. There's one aunt that reaches out to chat once in awhile, but there's mostly nothing to say.

I think maybe what Ergo said was right. You need to find outlets where people care for you, are willing to give affection, react to your good will and nature, and appreciate you for it.

And I think you'll need to do what I had to do a few years ago, and just accept your family for who they are, and how they are.

And yes, I know how it feels to want hugs when you're sad. That's why I have a boyfriend who really likes to snuggle.

-A

Anonymous said...

Well, I am off to watch the X Files, where the conspiracy and insider dictatorship are fake, and where the people fighting against it are hot and powerful, instead of one measly, lonely voice of an angry, powerless island gal.

Whole world's goin' to crap.

Night all!

Anonymous said...

10:34, so much of the damage will already have been done. And I think I disagree, anyway. I think that it goes deeper than the president. But, that's just me.

ergoproxy said...

it's me
memory is a funny thing, at 7 or so you would have had a lot more things to be thinking about and doing, the momories are probably there, but if you ahve no frame of reference to trigger them they are hard to recall.
Memory needs to be used to be effective, the more often you recall something the easier it becomes to recall.
You've probably just never had reason to recall them much, the kids would have always been there, as background in your life, you probably just knew, never really needed it at the fore front of your mind.
If you want to try and recall look at old pictures, have an older relative tell you stories.
Our memory is like a huge filing system, if it's apparent a memory is not required it is shunted off to a back room under a pile of old boxes to leave room for the more needed stuff.
We have so many stimuli every day that a lot is filtered, some goes straight to filing without ever being a conscious thought.

so apart from a tiny science lesson (sorry that's how I explain it to students) I hope that helps you not feel bad about it

Anonymous said...

And if Obama doesn't win, K..... MCain won't try to turn it around either.

Anonymous said...

It's Me

amyranth...thank you for being here.

*grabs another tissue*

I have been living with this for years and yes, maybe it is time to back off a bit and still feel OK about it.

Anonymous said...

Oh btw you are not alone.... I hear your voice!

Anonymous said...

I left you a comment K.... Please check. Oh and I have never seen an episode of X files! ever! Is it good?? You seem to like it alot.

toujours said...

it's me, if there is nothing there to begin with, then perhaps, someday when you are ready to, you might be able to create a connection, if you want one at that time.

but what is important is not mourning the loss of what you wanted with your family, what you never had. what is important is to become your best self, and find what is good with what you do have with your family.

there's no such thing as a total loss. for now, just like ergo said, you need to focus on yourself, and cherish whatever good your family has given you -- no matter how small, no matter how isolated, those gems are still yours. take them and go out into your life.

if they can't keep up with you, then they must fall behind -- that will be their loss. it sounds harsh, but even a temporary period of isolation can help you put things into a better perspective, and help you break out of your circular thoughts.

ergoproxy said...

night K enjoy the x-files, fiction is so much easier than real life


it's time for lunch so I'm going to head out and sit in the warm sunny spot and have a read and eat

back in a while


Hello TJ!!

Original Punk J said...

Just to throw in my two cents:

Memory doesn't truly begin to develop until you reach school age, around 7. Most people have "flashes" of memory from times before then. As for full-blown memories, they don't come along until your brain develops more.

I don't think many, or any, of us remember events from our younger days. That's normal development.

What's happened, It's Me, to make you feel this way? Did something occur recently to spark these feelings? I'm sorry you're going through a tough time.

Hey all, how's it going?

Anonymous said...

It sure is, Ergo. That's for damn sure. I just get so worked up; I mean, it's the whole world. It's human rights. The environment, the world. This thing, this administration is so frigging huge and destructive.

Anon, it was a fantastic show: fun, witty, scary, cheesy, poignant, and with hot people. ^_^

I saw the comment, thank you very much. Made me feel nice in my rebel places. :D

I'm a-waitin' for my ice acai to get a little melty. It probably is.

Good night all. :)

toujours said...

hey ergo -- have a lovely lunch en plein air!

Anonymous said...

It's Me

amyranth...You've probably just never had reason to recall them much, the kids would have always been there, as background in your life, you probably just knew, never really needed it at the fore front of your mind.

I have looked at old pictures and have heard plenty of stories....I guess recalling those memories are something that might not ever happen. Sad, but I need to get over it....if I really think about it, there is really not a lot of childhood memories...

I remember Grandmas' houses and camping, going to school. Maybe some of the memories are not meant to be remembered...

I thought once we were grown...new memories might take shape. There are some great memories, but nothing I thought would happen.

Amyranth said...

No Problem, It's Me.

And if you feel comfortable with doing it, I agree with you. You don't have to drop them like a sack of bad potatoes, but even just letting go a bit can be very freeing.

And in some cases, they might come to you saying "Hey, you know, we haven't talked in a while... So, how've you been?". You never know.

-A

ergoproxy said...

and thanks anon I always like to check if US politics is like here

Anonymous said...

It's Me

toujours said...
it's me, if there is nothing there to begin with, then perhaps, someday when you are ready to, you might be able to create a connection, if you want one at that time.

but what is important is not mourning the loss of what you wanted with your family, what you never had. what is important is to become your best self, and find what is good with what you do have with your family.

there's no such thing as a total loss. for now, just like ergo said, you need to focus on yourself, and cherish whatever good your family has given you -- no matter how small, no matter how isolated, those gems are still yours. take them and go out into your life.

if they can't keep up with you, then they must fall behind -- that will be their loss. it sounds harsh, but even a temporary period of isolation can help you put things into a better perspective, and help you break out of your circular thoughts.


toujours....that just might be the words I need to follow....thank you

Anonymous said...

Ergo are you in europe?? American politics is complicated. I don't alwys get it but I know when something bad happens... I learn alot from he internet.... from the people here too

Anonymous said...

It's Me

And if you feel comfortable with doing it, I agree with you. You don't have to drop them like a sack of bad potatoes, but even just letting go a bit can be very freeing.

And in some cases, they might come to you saying "Hey, you know, we haven't talked in a while... So, how've you been?". You never know.


amyranth...that is what I am hoping for.

Original Punk J said...

Oookay then.

Hello, anybody?

Anonymous said...

Evening, J. Hope you're doing well.

Original Punk J said...

Hello, Anon, doing some better tonight. And yourself?

Anonymous said...

It's Me

I need to get off...time for bed...work tomorrow.

Again, thank you for listening to me...and I will take all of your suggestions in.

Sleep tight....good night:)

toujours said...

hello j! :)

it's me, i wish you the best. family issues are the ones that seem to be the most tangled, it's difficult to really hear our hearts when those ties get messed up.

but there is a reason for you to be here, that's very important. don't lose sight of that, and i believe that the rest will eventually fall into place.

Anonymous said...

I'm boring so let's talk about you. Something happened today that made you smile. What was it?

Anonymous said...

*waves*

Anonymous said...

me?

Anonymous said...

:)

Anonymous said...

You, happy now? :)

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah!!!

Amyranth said...

Goodnight It's Me.

Feel better in the AM!

Hiya J!

-A

Original Punk J said...

Made me smile...well, let's see. My car started (yay!). Raindrop, my younger cat, cuddled with me a lot. Had a semi-pleasant conversation with my mom (check your pulse!). Saw some pictures of someone who makes me happy. Remembered talking to L on her cell yesterday when she said, "I can't find my cell phone." (I told her, "You're on it." We laughed.)

There might have been other things, but they're not coming to mind. What made YOU smile today, Anon?

Anonymous said...

I'd like to dedicate my first place smiley face to It's Me.

toujours said...

this made me smile today:

my sister (sisterlor) decided i needed to see her coffee station, and so she sent me a picture of it.

it was diagrammed out with labels and arrows, very thorough, very professional, very silly.

:)

Anonymous said...

Hi anon *waves*

Carrie said...

The ending of The Mole made me smile.

Death By Pumpkin Pie said...

Good night everyone. I'm wishing you all pleasant dreams and a joyful day when you wake up.

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy, TJ, J

toujours said...

hi there bc, hi carrie. good night death by pumpkin pie. :)

Original Punk J said...

Hi Amy, BC, Carrie, TJ. Goodnight Pumpkin.

Original Punk J said...

L says Hi and antibiotics are "nassy". But helpful. :P

Amyranth said...

Goodnight Pumpkin!

Hiya BC!

-A

Anonymous said...

Plenty of reasons to smile when you look, huh? Every little thing counts sometimes.

Me? Well, the rain and hail eventually stopped. (I had doubts...) It's quiet here now and I'm alone. That rarely happens anymore. I had cupcakes! That was nice. Yeah, I'm boring but I own it. ;)

Anonymous said...

Goodnight pumpkin pie, sweet dreams. Hi carrie

Anonymous said...

And I just got an extra smile. The same group is here that I spoke to the other night.

toujours said...

quiet and cupcakes are very very very good reasons to smile, 1:26!

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