We are all in some way the same. Any of us can be traced on parchment and placed over another and the outline will match, at some point. Keep turning the page until it fits just right. Call it coincidence, if you will.
I can hold you up against me and often the lines match up perfect.
The following is an excerpt from an old handwritten journal.
Yesterday I saw my reflection and waited for an answer. I stood there like an idiot, swaying and staring. It took a while, but what I found was strength and self-respect. The bags packed themselves and walked right out the door. My hand held tightly to all that really mattered, my own heart. All of my abandon had left the poor thing in a sad state, atrophied. But if I am patient and use it a little more each day it will regain its once youthful bounce. It will be fit for giving...forgiving. Forgiving.
(I needed the white noise as well.)
p.s. it is yours and no one can take it away.
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Hello?
Where is everyone?
Good Morning Mayo,
I am new here amd I come with a gift for you.....coffee and muffins.
I hope you have a really wonderful day :)
good morning -- what a wonderful thing to wake up to, mayo!
you know of course, that now i just want to read all the rest of your old journals. (i'm a greedy snoop *grin*)
Good morning Mayo. This is surely an odd time for you to post. Why are you up so early? I hope you have a cup of coffee to get you going. Take care.
so, mayo, has it, do you think? your heart, its bounce, i mean. from then to now, were you able to reinvigorate your heart as you had hoped?
Mayo, I like how you posted at 8:12 on 8-12, and I doubt that was a coincidence.
oh, good observation, anon!
did you have to set your alarm for that, mayo? *grin*
well, anyway, for what you've shown us of your heart here, i think it has.
Umm. We're still waiting on an answer to your riddle. Sorry to nag.
duh. He didn't have to set his alarm. You can set a post for any exact time in the future.
oh yeah.
i forgot about that particular blogger feature.
*facepalm*
hi mayo!
just sat down with my lunch and found this!!
thank you.
and thank you for sharing.
and thank you for sounding very human!
hello anyone here!
Morning Mayo! Morning everyone!
Just poppin' in to say hello and thank you for the new post. We are all in some way the same, Mayo.
Hope you are doing well and hope you have a lovely/blinging day, Mayo.
Later peeps!
Oh and Mayo, I just want to squeeze you just a little this morning.
Don't know why really. ^_~
*squeezes Mayo*
Okay, there.
Now, I can be my mean old self again.
And you know, there is a perfect Jack White song for this post but yeah, I won't go there. Yet. :)
LATERRRRRRR!!!!!
hi and bye smoke!
hello faraway, lunch, huh? i've just got my morning coffee. :)
Toujours, you seem to know how Mayo thinks. What do you think this post is about?
lunch over! barely caught up on anything!
hi TJ and princess!
TJ.... really late lunch for me, it's 14.16 here!
oh well!
have a good one mayo! take care of yourself, be good, wash behind your ears, etc etc!!
oh yeh and an answer to your riddle at some point would be kind!
pretty please??!!
catch you later guys!
hi SS if you are around.
bye faraway!
9:16, you think i know how mayo thinks? i'm flattered.
but i'm still in the reading-reading-reading phase of a new post. i'll figure out what i think of it later.
white noise
A random signal of every frequency in the audio spectrum, all of which have an average uniform power level. White noise is generated for a variety of purposes, including masking sounds in a room, testing loudspeakers for distortion and coloration and to provide input to a synthesizer, which uses filters to derive all of its sounds.
Goodmorning everyone :)
Mayo, thank you. yeh, thank you :)
Anima
Thank you so much for last night. I am so sorry that i went, the battery died and didnt have enough to power my phone. It is more like a computer than a phone urgh lol. thank you again :)
SS
If you do anything today, make sure it is to turn around and touch the ground and then maybe have a little wiggle. You have to boogey on down, right.
Have a lovely Tuesday people, make it a day to remember.
Goodmorning everyone :)
Mayo, thank you. yeh, thank you :)
Anima
Thank you so much for last night. I am so sorry that i went, the battery died and didnt have enoiugh to power my phone. It is more like a computer than a phone urgh lol. thank you again :)
SS
If you do anything today, make sure it is to turn around and touch the ground and then maybe have a little wiggle. You have to boogey on down, right.
Have a lovely Tuesday people, make it a day to remember.
hey there, fimble. :) good morning!
Mayo, the more I re-read this post, the more it brings to mind Sdock's life of recent. Another coincidence?
good morning to you tj, i hope you are well, did you have a nice sleep. I am just getting ready and then going into work. urghhhhh
I think this post makes Mayo sound feminine.
i was super-tired when i got up, fimble -- i stayed up very late watching the meteor shower last night.
i have enough coffee in me to appear like i'm functional, now. :)
hope you have a good day at work!
I'm interested in the timing of the first few posts, the first few anons and the re posting of Sdock10's private information.
Hello Mayo
What a nice way to start off the morning...
Hope you are well.
good morning elena. :)
Hey TJ
How are you today?
♥♥
10:21, I am the anon who posted at 7:38, 7:45, 7:51 and 9:50. I don't know who posted Sdock's private info, but they disgust me.
hey elena, i'm okay, but i've gotta go now. :(
hope you have a good day, and get some time to just veg and watch clouds, or something!
heart anon! missed you. :)
anyway, bye everyone! see you later!
bye, mayo. thank you for sharing that bit out of your journal, it's really a brave thing to do.
*waves, blows a kiss, heads out the door*
Hey everyone. Good morning/afternnon. New post. I like it. Rubs eyes, looks sgain.
More positive this time. Giving of the heart. We would be the same if yiu traced. I am guessing under layers we are very similar. I smiled and enjoyed the forgive part. Cool.
Hi Toujours, Dbpp, Elena, Fimble, Anons and anyone else about. Have a great Tuesday
Anon @ 10:52. I dont even pay attention to that nonesense anyway.
Im sorry about what some one did to you but its not fair of you to say it is my fault. I didnt mean for it to happen, all I wanted was to see you again. I know about your trust issues, I understand. People miss you did you know that? Did you think you were forgotten? Who do you miss? I dont know what I would do.
Hi guys! Hope you are all having a lovely tuesday. It's cool and sea-breezy here, making me think (too soon!) of autumn. I think in a few weeks I will bake a peach pie or something.
Mayo, 8:12 on 8/12, I like it! I feel you on that one. It adds up to two, which I'm sure you know; I suspect that is as significant to you as the 3s, 6s and 9s are to me, or maybe it's just the date and time themselves that are significant to you. Anyway, whoop whoop!
Good of you to shout out Solly, too, on the things she was saying last night. The ability to feel empathy, but more than that, to logically see yourself in another's situation is a useful tool.
But Mayo, isn't it funny? When we talk about visualizing ourselves in the situations of others, and being able to feel what they feel, do you notice that we're almost always talking about negative situations and feelings? "Oh yeah. I could see me getting that bad, being that down."
Can you--and you too, Solly--see yourselves in those who have it fantabulous?
Personally, I don't know if I can. I wonder why?
Oh, and the white noise? Well for me it's more than just having a fan or something on. I need to have the actual white noise machine going in order to sleep. You know the one, it's got all these different sounds on it, like rainforest, river, crickets, thunderstorm, waterfall. I leave it on waterfall because that it true white noise. if the power goes out, then I have to get a battery powered radio and tune it to static in order to sleep.
I am so neurotic.
Welp... Anyway, today I have to go and buy brackets because I need to hang up a shelf, and move things around and generally change some stuff about the house. I do that once in a while.
Oh, so I have this really cute bluejay, right, and he's totally tame and I'm trying to get him to be wild so that he can be released. But he's so imprinted (he was raised by some dude in his garage for a month!) that it's a big struggle to get him to go away. Every day when I go into the aviary he flies onto my shoulder and is like, "SQUEEE! SQUEEEE!" asking me for food. So, I ignore him. Then when I bend over to pick up the dishes, he flies onto my ass and tries to pull the tags out of my pants, or a string, or tugs on the bottom or my shirt, or he pecks my back really hard until I say "OUCH!" and I swat him away. Then he goes back on my shoulder and goes, "SQUEEE! SQUEEE!"
Anyway, this morning I clean out their water dish and put fresh water in, and this one bluejay goes right into it and starts taking a bath at me. (If you've ever had a bird you know that they bathe at you and fling water all over you.) I'm like, "EEEE! STOP IT!"
Then, when he's done, he jumps onto my shoulder, then he goes into my hair and wipes his beak all over me. I keep my hair in a loop when I'm in the aviary, and he goes into my hair and starts using it as a towel to dry himself off.
Oh man, it was so funny, and it tickles.
Right now he is ringing like a cell phone. O_o
Okay, that's about enough babbling from me. I'm off to Ye Olde Shoppes. Later guys!
Awoke to a headache. Cant open my eyes, dont, cant drink coffee (with the messed up kidney and all)but I need to wake the fuck up!
If I go on the treadmill right now I am afraid I will get hurt and I dont want to break anything today.
Going to surf the web for a little while then gotta go to an appoinment.
Nice post Mayo. Positive is always good.*smiles*
Hi Jules!
I am the complete opposite when it comes to sleeping. I want complete silence. I didn't use to be this way. When I was a teenager, I could sleep no matter what and wherever. Upside down in a recliner, at my desk at school, on the floor, etc. Now, I want my bed with complete silence and darkness. I have to have a pillow over my head, too. The slightest thing will bug the shit out of me. I think it changed once I had my son. I could hear his feet hit the floor in the middle of the night, on the other side of the house.
Funny. ^_^
I need total dark to sleep too, Princess. But I have to have the white noise. At the same time, I sleep really lightly and the teeniest unusual noise will wake me up. My dogs shifting, some noise in the house, etc. For the most part though, I've learned to tune out the crow cawing at 7 AM. Well, sometimes.
I think most Moms are like you are, right? The tiniest noise from the kid's room and you're wide awake. O_o
I gots ta run. Catch you guys later! ^_^
Yep, I think so. I think the coolest thing is to wake up because your son is laughing his little head off in his sleep.
Now, that is funny as hell.
Much better than waking up with him standing there looking at you because he's been sleepwalking. O_o
I want that little bird now, just so you know. :)
Later, Jules!
I gotta go back to work. Boooo!!!
Its always good to enjoy and or partake in someone's good fortune or elation as well as being empathetic to a negative situation.
I dont look at things like that.
My head fuckin hurts. I NEVER get headaches. When I do I am a little worried (in the back of my mind) worry that I will have an aneyurism (sp) like my Dad did when I found him dead. Fast easy way to go he wanted that. I also know a 35 yr old family friend who didnt go to the doctor and passed from the same thing. Alos our old neighbor's son who was 10 passed of that too, complained of headaches. Ok, I am officially turning into my sister! Agh!
Dont know where the morbid stuff came from. Dreaming about people dying lately, talk ing about my dad lately too.Eh, I miss him I guess.Probably thats why it stuck in my mind.
Man, I wish I could shut my mind off or down like a flame on the stove once in a while.
Why am I rambling? Dont know, sorry.
Later guys.
Here's hoping you can forgive yourself, Mayo. I know from my own experience just how hard that is.
Mayo, nice post. In some ways very true. I can also pound a square peg into a round hole if I pound long and hard enough. Just keep pounding and eventually it will fit. But I'd rather not, it's not my style.
Don't stay away so long anymore.
Hi Mayo,
Nice post.
Anonymous said...
Shelby Dockery
Clerk / Delinquent Mobile Home and Property Tax Specialist
Employed with Coffee County Tax Office since April 1999
August 12, 2008 8:32 AM
Charley Wood
ECDL Administrator and IAG Co-Ordinator
Employed with UFi since October 2002
What's your point, Anon? Is that supposed to scare or freak Sdock out?
12:14 who is that for? It's out of place.
I'm guessing it's for Mayo but idk.
Well, this is great. :)
Thanks for the new post, Mayo, and I'm pretty sure it rings true across the board.
I hope you're okay, and everything's great in your world.
Why hasn't Mayo deleted Solly's info? Except for the very first one, he left it on the other post as well. Obviously he only randomly skims the comments on his blog. :(
"Why hasn't Mayo deleted Solly's info?"
Because it doesn't bother Mayo. It just brings on more attention and that is what matters here.
"Obviously he only randomly skims the comments on his blog."
Ya think? Do you really think Mayo reads thousands of comments, most useless garbage?
Hi folks.
Still alive, kinda... work still bites the big one.
Just poppin' in to say hi, and that I miss you guys like, WHOA.
*HUGZ* to everyone, and hi to the new peeps!
- Sis "Sleep? What the fuck is THAT?!?" Midnite
Oh oh oh, almost forgot.
Pink noise can be pretty cool, too.
:)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SisterM!!!
Shoots, I skim, too, Jesus.
Anyway, check this out. As I was getting into my car after I bought my stuffs that I wanted, this is what I saw:
My CD was on track number 3. The time of the song was 3:03. The time on my clock was 1:11, and my mileage added up to 3.
WTF? WTF? WTMFF?!
SIS!!
Mustardz! Jules!! Wassup???
Damn good to be able to talk to you guys!!!!!!
Do you really think Mayo reads thousands of comments, most useless garbage?
Of course he doesn't. He's too busy being a rawkstar.
OMG!
OMFG!
Sister Midnite!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!!
HUGS! HUGS! HUGS!
Miss you!
*goes back to working*
Kind of. ^_~
He's too busy hacking poetry, learning to write properly, and choosing which detail of his idol to emmulate next time.
I'm good, Sis! What's up with you? How you been?
Umm, how does one "hack" poetry?
LOL..."rawkstar" MY ASS!!!
When we talk about visualizing ourselves in the situations of others, and being able to feel what they feel, do you notice that we're almost always talking about negative situations and feelings?
I just want to say that that is so true. And sometimes why I have to back away from this place. It sometimes acts as an enabler, so, yeah.
No anon: MY ass.
Splash, that's true sometimes of this place, and of other places, as well. Not always for me, though. I did love it here when it was a safe place, a comfort zone though, honestly. But in the last few months this is a place for me to get kicked in the head, so. ;D
I got comment 69, whoop whoop!
hack
v. tr.
To make banal or hackneyed with indiscriminate use
Frankenpoeming, is another way to put it. Not everything borrowed gets credit.
No anon: MY ass.
Nope. Sorry. I've seen your ass and mine is better.
The anon had a point. All I gots to say is BURN!
So you're saying that Mayo has stolen bits of poetry and reused them in his own? Care to provide examples?
2:25, if you're going to take a long-standing running gag and try to make it into something petty, well, you have fun with that, okay?
Olympic opening uses girl’s voice, not face.
The real singer, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, with her chubby face and crooked baby teeth, wasn’t good looking enough for the ceremony, its chief music director told state-owned Beijing Radio...
“The little girl is a magnificent singer,” Chen said. “She doesn’t deserve to be hidden.” He said the ceremony’s director, film director Zhang Yimou, knew of the change. He declined to speak further about it.
Why am I not surprised? The dude who casts Ziyi Zhang in every movie in the world, when it's known that not only can she not do real Kung Fu, she can't actually even act. It's all about looks with this dude, it's typical lookism.
Now how the hell could i have watched almost the entire thing, heard the name every few minutes on the broadcast, and not gotten "Zhang Yimou" out of it? I thought I was hearing something like "Zan Imo" and wondering who in the hell that was.
Lookism is every freakin' where.
Well, I'd better get going if I want to finish up* the stuff I have planned for today.
Later.
*begin
PRINCESS!!!!! *GLOMP*
How's Solly? How YOU?
Not much new here... work, work, and more work. By the time I get home, I don't even wanna LOOK at a computer screen. >.<
Got some vay-cay comin' up, around Castle de Mayo's 1-year anniversary.
Truthfully, I was worried this place would be gone when I clicked on it today. Good to see that even I can be wrong sometimes. ^_~
ANyone need an ass-kickin' for old times' sake? ^____^
No need to get so defensive, K. I'm just dickin' witcha.
Kick me, kick me! ;)
Hey, SisterM Night Shamallama? Do you think it would be too much to ask to have a kickball game, hmmmm?
I'm kinda bored out here, just sayin'. :)
Please don't stay away for forever and ever, okay?
Later, everyone! Later, Mayo! Later, SS!
Too many "anons" here "dick with me," so please allow that it's hard to tell who's just "dicking with me" and who is being a dick.
Too many "anons" here "dick with me," so please allow that it's hard to tell who's just "dicking with me" and who is being a dick.
This is true and I'm sorry. :(
Mayo,
Each day I look at myself in the mirror and wait for answers. Never does it happen, but that doesn't mean a thing. I know who I am, as you know who you are. Search for answers in all the right places, and you will find them.
I'm off for work.
xoxox;
- 007
<3
Don't worry about it, anon.
Hey PH! I'm popping back and forth, trying to fix my lamp that just fell. >_< How are you?
*jaw drops*
SISTER MIDNITE!!
*hug*
I've missed you! I'm so glad to see you around, BB isn't the same without you!
Nah, I wouldn't kick Mustardz.
Gerard Way, maybe, but not Mustardz. ^_^
((Sorry, just had to snark down Memory Lane for a second there.))
I may not be here much, but I haven't *left*, left. Just not able to screw around at work anymore. :(
Speaking of, I gotta get back. *grr* Later, Lovelies!!
Haha awwh. I'm looking for some jeans to wear to work. ^_^
I'm alright K! How about you? =]
**HUGZ** to PH! ^_^
But is it really a coincidence, sir?
Too many "anons" here "dick with me," so please allow that it's hard to tell who's just "dicking with me" and who is being a dick.
Why do people do that??? And if they do it then they need to own it by at least saying their name and not hiding behind 'anon'.
RAWR.
I have to go catch my bus! I didn't realize it came so soon!
Bye Jules!!
Bye SM!!
Anons
AND Pumpkin Pie!
I lost my happy mojo, PH, because I had all this stuff planned out to do and now everything is falling and breaking, like Prawn Salad in Monty Python. >_<
Sis, it was good to read you!
The Gritty Kitty Contest winning poem. From Ren & Stimpy's "Stimpy's Big Day"
Gritty Kitty ain't so pretty,
But it's really thick.
It fills my cat box oh so snug;
It always does the trick.
I like to rub it on my toe
And squish and squish and squish!
It rare offends my tender nose,
Like a smelly fish!
Its texture is a joy to me,
It's just as smooth as silk.
It makes my little whiskers twitch;
It stays crunchy, even in milk!
I may not be the President,
I may not be the Pope,
But as long as I have Gritty Kitty,
I shall never mope!
Comments about other blogs shouldn't be made here.
Hello!
great to see you Sis M!! its been a while!
and you PH!! hope you are doing good?
"Why hasn't Mayo deleted Solly's info?"
maybe he is bizzy anon?! and anyone who makes time to read all the comments I truly take my hat off to! It is time conmsuming, although enjoyable (OK not the shitty anons) but you tend to miss out on sleep or work or food or something! tis time consuming i tell you!!
jesus!!
how do you spell conmsuming???!
arghhhh
consuming!
it's the little things!!
good afternnon everyone :)
Sister and Jen absolutly fantastic to see you girlies. hope you are both fine and dandy
SS
*waves*
How are you today?
It is raining and dark here, oh well :)
hiya fimmy!!!!
quiet in here this time of the night!! fucking UK time zones!!
you good?
It is very quiet, far.
Yes, i am just great. Returned from work around 20 minutes ago, so i am nackered and stressed but oh well. It is rainin cats and dogs, i swear its gonna flood again lol.
How are you? It is raining in mancy town at the moment, just spoke to family.
I am so sorry, i missed you in the comments.
Safe
It is nice to see you around here, are you still around? Hope you are well.
hey fimmy all good here!
England is having shit weather this summer hols!! so much fucking rain!!!
it's not raining at the moment but they are heavy and on and off!!
i am going camping in Dorset on Sat so I am so hoping for half decent weather!!
what work are you doing Fim? Sorry I have missed a shit load of comments of late!!
oh, fingers will be crossed for good weather for your camping trip. Will we have the great comments from the phone again? they made me laugh especially when mr bloke wanted to tell us something 3 times hahahahaha.
I am just sorting a few things out with our business. once you get over one dilemma or hurdle, another one comes right smack bang on your door step, lol. Its ok, just crazy times at the moment.
I am going to go and do my accounts now, so if i dont speak to you before fasc, have an amazing time camping and i will speak to you soon OK :)
Bye
Safe calling Fimmy. Lol.
cheers fimmy fimmy!
lovely seeing you!
mr bloke will bring his phone and I will try and do my very frustrating and time consuming comments!!
mr bloke was kinda mortified he typoed obama!! he thinks he is so fucking smart!! haha!
stangely that made me smile!!
take care fim and see you around!
mother fucker...serves me right!!
stangely = strangely!!
hey safe she may have gone??
It used to be Mayo trying hard to be as involved with you as SS and make you smile so much.... Now SS doesn't bother with you all and Mayo still does. It says alot about both of them.
hey safe she may have gone??
BALLS! I'll email her.
ok safe!
you doing ok?
anon i just think SS is bizzy. i'm sure he'll be back when he gets the chance.
I'm chirpy! You?
I had to look this up when someone mentioned it earlier.
pink noise
A random signal of every frequency in the audio spectrum, in which each higher octave drops off 3 dB. The lower octaves have more power, and the higher octaves have less power. Pink noise is generated to test loudspeakers in a room as well as to "tune" a room for best audio reproduction.
Also known as "1/f noise," pink noise patterns have been found in music melodies, semiconductors and atomic clocks. They are also found in nature, including the sounds of wind and waterfalls.
safe i am good also!! maybe not chirpy but good!
anon thanks for the info with the pink noise
my first born was a nightmare!! never slept!! i kid you not! i discovered white noise round about then!! the hoover (vacuum) worked. put it on when i wanted her to sleep. she was a nightmare!!
hey proncess just wanted to agree with you that i need pitch black and silence also!! I have ear plugs cos i don't want to hear my kids or the bloke snoring!! pillow over the head makes me feel claustrophobic!
I hope you are doing well Mayo...
4:36 Ever think Mayo and SS are one in the same? That would explain a lot.
hello belle!
don't think we've met but i have read you around.
anon @ 5.08pm i don't think they are the same atall actually. just don't smell the same!!
what would i really know but i don't think so anyway!!
right guys gotta fly!
catch you at some point tomorrow. god knows when! but definitely at some point!
mayo
Hallo Lovelies and Mayo.
Mayo, nice of you to grace us with another post!
I wish I had some white noise, maybe I could stop thinking for awhile.
-A
oh fuck clicked "post" by accident!!
so mayo as i was saying!!
It will be fit for giving...forgiving. Forgiving.
that part made me smile. i like that part very much!
right definitely going!!
*hugs* mayo!
SS miss you too much!! hope you are good and well and positively radiant!! *hugs* to you too!!
love to you all!
hi/bye amy!!
Hi/Bye FASC!
-A isn't sure she wants to cook fish tonight..
It was a year ago today that my friends and I started filming the MCR movie that never was to be.
good morning!
I have no time so I'm flying by with only a few minutes in between getting dressed
HI Mayo I like the post and I like the images.
Makes me think it's bout becoming the person you once were again, the one that time and circumstances jaded. And though as someone said we usually put ourselves in te place of a negative experience, I do actually do it for the good experiences of others too, it's quite a lovely thing to imagine.
And white noise, sometimes you need it to cancel out all the other stuff going on, allowing you to focus, all the other demands of your life.
And now I have the song "White Noise" in my head...you're lucky it's a good song!
AMY- cook the fish, it'll be fine :)
hi anons safe belle fasc (not sure who is about)
oh and re yesterdays discussion, male perspective "We are just dumb" and "We like looking at you like that so we assume you'll like looking at us"
...Also known as "1/f noise," pink noise patterns have been found in music melodies, semiconductors and atomic clocks. They are also found in nature, including the sounds of wind and waterfalls.
Precisely the reason pink noise is so cool.
Actually, sound itself is freakin' awesome. Normally you'd just think of sound as, you know, noise, but the components that make up what we refer to as that sound (frequencies, Hertz, and then there's my favorite, sine waves) is mindblowing.
Hey everyone!
Welly welly welly welly well!
I won't be around tonight, so I'm just going to go ahead and post.
See you guys later!
Good afternoon/night/morning Mayo, SS, Amy, FASC, Safe, Belle, various anons, watchers, lurkers and anyone who came in since I started typing this!
How are you all today? A little better than yesterday, I hope! I am doing a bit better. I spent a lovely 2 ½ hours in a doctor’s office today; but, I did get some good news. No more antibiotics for now and it appears my kidneys are A O.K.! I am still waiting to here from him about a “sample” he sent off; but, I’m sure that will be okay too. MIRANTH: Thank you so much for the good luck wishes!
Now, on to the bad news: The first wake will be tomorrow night. Followed by four more. Stanley’s body was recovered yesterday. His parents had been holding on to hope that somehow - maybe - possibly - he had survived the boating accident…..
The first wake will be tomorrow night. Followed by four more. Brandon is still in a coma and the prognosis is still no better than it was the first day. Everyone, his family - friends - the community, is still hoping for a miracle. There IS always hope, right?
I wanted to thank you all for the words of comfort, support and friendship! Possum, Lewis, FASC, Ergo, Amy, Elena, Carrie, J and L, BC, Miranth, MissT, TJ, Smoke, Sdock, Fimble, Jennicula, anons, anyone I may have missed: THANK YOU. Your words and thoughfulness do make a difference and are truly appreciated. *hugs for you all*
Mayo: It is good to "see" you. Thank you for the new painting. It is a beautiful piece! I, too, require white noise. White noise and total darkness are necessities for me. I hope you (and all those you hold dear) are well, safe and close - at least held close in your heart, and you in theirs.
SS: I hope you and yours are also well, safe and close in heart too.
Amy: Good luck with that interview! I knew you passed that test! Keep that bottle chilled for me! ;)
Ergo: How was your first (official) day back at school? I hope those tutorees didn’t tire you out too much.
*smooooch*
Elena: Hang in there!
It’s me: I have missed you! It’s okay to mourn the loss of a dream....
*hugs*
Pumpkin Pie: Hello and welcome!
I must be off now. Things to do.
Have a good night/morning, everyone. Have fun and stay safe!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Mayo,
I may be stating the obvious here, or I might be making assumptions, but I'm pretty sure everyone has this one moment where their life becomes divided.
There's the before, and then there's the after. Bookends.
Somewhere in between is this single, solitary, split-second of time that you won't likely forget. It's the exact moment when you make that decision, when you hear both your angels and your devils.
When you come out of that moment, when you're in the after, and you look back at that fraction of your life, I like to think that that's the clearest anything will ever be. And the before is the darkest, muddiest, non-sensical portion you'll ever have to face. Everything after is learning, hoping, loving, living, and being.
I left myself -- my head, my heart, my body -- and I wouldn't trade that turnaround moment for anyone else's. It was the most ridiculous experience, and it was hard and confusing and every day nearly killed me, but it's mine, and every day I'm thankful I had the guts to take a good, hard look at where my life was going, and I'm thankful to have made it through.
Hearts are crazy things. Next to your soul, it takes the worst beatings, pun unintended. But, they serve us well, and usually have the right answers, at the very least, I know mine did. And I think they work better in the after -- they beat louder and pump brighter blood.
I hope you keep on the same track, I hope you keep using it. And like you say, in time, in your after, things will be okay.
See you around, dude.
SS,
"Umbrella," dude. "Umbrella." I hope it plays for you all day and all night long. ;)
I hope you're doing well, and I hope we get to see you around sometime!
Sdock,
It took me two reads to get that I always get what you get, and you get what I get, and we get it together. Just thought you should know. :)
You're gonna be okay, kiddo. "Everything will be fine."
Anima,
Haven't seen you in awhile, so I hope you're doing okay and that it's just busy. I hope your dad's doing okay. :)
616,
You and your friends are still in my thoughts. I hope you're doing okay as well. :)
SisterM Night Shamallama,
It was great to see you back around here! Can't wait until we get to talk to you longer!
Gosh, I think that's everything for right now. I'm sorry it's so long, but I didn't want to forget anything! Take care, and I'll talk to you guys sometime tomorrow I'm sure!
right I'm off!
wish me luck and I know you'll all miss me !!
:]
♥xx♥
Mustard!!! Thank you too, love! I knew I was going to miss someone. I'm so sorry. Thank you so much for your words of comfort and for keeping us all in you thoughts.
*hugs*
What's with the 3:54 pm? I must be out of the loop again.
I think that's in regards to a comment made on Mayo's last post.
Okay, I know I said I was gone, but I just found this. >.<
We talk about it a lot around here. A lot.
So, maybe this will serve as a reminder or just another I-wish-I-had-it.
faith.
there is no strength in believing in strong people. its easy. simple. they've proven themselves.
there is strength in believing in the strangers. they havent proven you wrong.
but there is faith in believing in people who are low. addicts. criminals. cheaters. back-stabbers. lefts-behinds... because they have given you cause or reason to not.
strength is taking shots to your faith and getting back up to love a motherfucker despite them pushing away your hand. despite their angry words. despite of their lack of faith in you.
to keep going back for more spit in the face.
to keep running that last mile despite of the blood.
to keep showing up for that band.
to keep loving your alcoholic father.
to taking a chance on the unlovable.
to bet on the underdog.
to refuse to get beaten down by the lack of faith of others.
but to stand back up, tear streaked, battle-scarred and bruised and say,
"fuck you, motherfuckers. heres my heart again. do your best."
to keep extending your hand. your heart. your compassion. your support. your faith.
in friends. enemies. ex-girfriends. lost souls and dirty boys in bands in empty rooms...
to stand up and keep loving and believing in someone who gives you every reason not to.
that is what faith is.
-HeyChris
Taking Back Sunday.
Hand signals. Butt patting. "French kiss." And a hamster named Sweatpants.
Oh, and dreams of whale sharks, and of TBS wanting to name their new album The Black Parade.
Matt is too effing hilarious.
The dog is cute! Ummm, Adam is hilarious too, but strangely quiet. WTF, has Eddie been beating him into silence or something? ;)
Anyway, give it a looksee, it's too funny.
Sweatpants??
Ooooh, snap! Nice little dig on the Republican party. Matt's all VOTE VOTE VOTE! THINGS ARE EFFED UP!
Gotta love it.
Yeah a hamster named Sweatpants. It's really hilarious. ^_^
O_o
K, I'm going to paint my bedroom walls pink.
'Cause I'm a gurl & I can do that.
RW, you should see my living room. I went through five gallons of different colors before deciding that I was sick of changing it. Like you, I couldn't find a red that wasn't too dark but that wasn't pink. The color I ended up with I call "Spanked Ass."
But it's grown on me.
Spanked Ass! I like it!!
The one I picked is called Sultan's Palace, which actually kinda goes with my Turkish brothel-esque decor.
Ooooh, sounds cool! I like reds and warm colors. I tried to do my kitchen all Tuscan-ish but kinda failed. And I have all these middle eastern looking lights and stuff.
My apartment is looking like a cross between Rococco glam & New Orleans B&B.
With the exception of the kitchen (it's yellow), all the colours in the place when I moved in were very dull & dreary. I've decided to brighten it up a bit.
Mustard,
I know you're already gone but that was awesome. I love the way that dude writes. Awesome. Thank you for posting that. :)
Wassup peeps?!
And one more time....AWESOME.
O_O
Damn. Guess it's better than ammaaaayyyzzzinngg.
Hiya Princess!
RW: I did murals on the walls of my living room, sakura and bamboo. I can't seem to decide on one motif so I have like ten of them. ;)
I don't cook. I don't decorate. I don't garden. I don't dance. I don't write. I don't sing.
WTF do I do exactly? O_O
Hi, S&V! :D
You primp and look pretty, of course!
Murals? Cool! ^_^
I'm thinking of doing a bit of stenciling.
Gonna go baff with Solly.
Back in a bit...
Oh yeah, there's my riddle for ya, Mayo.
Snap.
^_^
Hiya RW! Hiya Jules!
Whatchoo up to tonight, S&V?
Hiyaaaaa! I was just writing messages to Eddie Reyes. ^_^
RW, I skipped the stenciling and got a little, uhh, free with it I guess. O_o
Mayo,
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to sit down with one of us face to face? Like, what if you and I had just met in real life and we decided to have dinner. Go with me on this, okay? How weird would that be? Would we realize how much we have in common? Would we pretend to be nice and polite and make small talk? Or would we end up laughing half the night?
I'm glad our paths have crossed, Mayo. Coincidence.
Weird.
Babble much? Yes. Yes, I do.
I hope you are doing well.
Have a good night, dude.
XOXO
P.S. - I'm gonna say we'd for sure laugh our asses off, Mayo. I can find humor in just about anything. I bet I could even make you laugh. ^_^
Do you have pics, K?
SS!!!!
:(
Shut up.
Oh wait, you haven't said anything. Bwah!
Just messin' with ya.
Hope you are cezy bizzy with all kinds of fun shit and stuffs. Like, stuff that makes you go all cezy-like and psycho. Stuff that makes you giggle and laugh and scream and run around the room. You know, the stuff that makes you the happiest in the world. Whatever that might be. That's my wish for you today. Well, if I like for real had some wishes to be granted. Anyhoo.......^_^
Miss ya like whoah!!!
XOXO
And goooooodniiighhhttt BlogBelieve!
Sweet dreams to you all!
See you guys tomorrow!!!
I like your idea, Princess! That'd be both neat and kind of awkward, right? :)
RW, I have a pic somewhere, Imma go look for it real quick. :)
i'm sure Chauntelle DuPree thinks Adam is sooooo hilarious.
Here ya go, RW! the murals I did about a year and a half ago. :)
It's lovely, K!
I could use some painted greenery for my walls, seeing as live plants never live long in my basement apartment.
Ohhh, well you need to knock out some walls then, and let the sun shine in. ^_^ Or get fake vines and drape them everywhere. ^_^
Well, I'm gonna head off for a bit and maybe Wiilax for a while. :D
Later!
Knocking out walls won't help. I'm essentially underground, so the only things that would let in are the earthworms O_o
Bye for now, K :)
Gonna sign off.
Have a nice night, all :)
The sky glows
I see it shining when my eyes close
I hear your warnings but we both know
I'm gonna look at it again
Don't wait, don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
You get one look
I'll show you something that the knife took.
A bit too early for my own good.
Now let's not speak of it again
Don't wait, don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
Don't wait, don't wait
The lights will flash and then fade away
The days will pass you by
Don't wait
To lay your armor down...
Here's another sunday morning call
You hear yer head-a-banging on the door
Slip your shoes on and then out you crawl
Into the day that couldn't give you more
But what for?
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
And you take what you want
But you don't get it for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But I'm not sure if it will ever work out right
But it's ok, it's all right
When you're lonely and you start to hear
The little voices in your head at night
You will only sniff away the tears
So you can dance until the morning light
But at what price?
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
And you take what you want
But you can't get all for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
And I'm not sure if it'll ever work out right
If it'll ever, ever, ever works out right
Cos it never, never, never works out right
And in your head do you feel
What you're not supposed to feel
And you take what you want
But you won't get help for free
You need more time
Cos your thoughts and words won't last forever more
But I'm not sure if it will ever, ever, ever work out right
if it will ever, ever, ever work out right
will it ever, ever, ever work out right
My skull is trying to crack..
-A
It's not just about trust. I don't know how to do this. I've read about, I've seen it. Found it to be unreal in beauty and wonder and unreal in total bullshit and convenience. And who's to say you are trustworthy? Who's to say you're pretty words aren't just -pretty? Theres no knowing, which I guess is a bit of the point, in all of it. But I don't like it much. I hope you are well. You seem sad, but hopeful? I didn't mean to imply that was your fault. I do see how that came across though, and I am sorry. Theres no way that was on anyone, but them. And me, for being too eager. I have given it back now, if you want it, it's there. And I have been out, I miss everyone. You know that. I just haven't felt like putting on something nicer to wear. I like my sweats. They are not so binding. And honestly, I don't know if you should doll yourself up either. I would feel silly, so underdressed beside you. But I don't want to dance in front of people. I get nervous- and that makes people uncomfortable. If you dare, you can veil even further -it's there again now too. I hope you like that. ^^ I had to look the other up. Beautiful (and dirty) -and makes me ever aware of your teeth. But I had a feeling you were into that. So, once again, I apologize. But it is all confusing in such a manner. And I think it would probably be anyway.
Somewhere between happy, and total fucking wreck
Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge
To spend your waking moments, simply killing time
Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your...
Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind
So take a number, (who we are) stand in line
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are
An obvious disinterest, a barely managed smile
A deep nod in agreement, a status quo exile
I shirk my obligations, I miss all your deadlines
I excel at quitting early, and fucking up my life
Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind
So take a number, (who we are) stand in line
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are
All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so fucking great
All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so great
(Life isn't like this)
(Life isn't like this)
(Life isn't like this)
(Life isn't like this)
(Life isn't like this) Life isn't like this
(Life isn't like this) Life isn't like this
(Life isn't like this) Are we verging on an answer,
or fucking up our...
Life for you, (who we are) has been less than kind
So take a number, (who we are) stand in line
We've all been sorry, (who we are) we've all been hurt
But how we survive, (who we are) is what makes us who we are
(Who we are)
It's what makes us who we are
(Who we are)
Makes us who we are
(Who we are)
It's what makes us who we are
(Who we are)
anon 9:22
who are you talking to?
Hey you guys.
Nah, never mind. Some damn anons would only make a muck of it.
Me = verrrrrry happeeeeeee.
^________^
Email if you really wanna know.
It was private message 9:21. Unfortunately had to be made public. I am sorry. I hope to not have to do it here further.
And Kapunua, I hope your smile has to do with your possibly being published? very exciting and congradualtions if so! And no one will be surprised by that I am sure!
Have a good night all.
Oops. 9:31. :)
Nice track For All!
Oh gosh, 9:41, I wish! No, it's nothing that momentous. I won't know about that for another six or so months. But thanks!
maybe she got a man. Except thats not pissible
BURN!
pissible? wow thats a new one. well done.
Add it to the mayo dictionary, you never know when that smart cookie will come in handy.
goodnight people.
BURN!
Pissible? It's not pissible?
Well, you got that right. Thankfully.
^_^
Hey Fim! PISSIBLE!
9:41, you've been all over the place lately with your "private" messages. Why don't you give it a rest.
i just took a pissible
LOL, actually, no, it's nothing to do with "snagging a male," it's actually something a little more OMG, a little more surprising (to some) and definitely not pissible!
Well you have to. Life offers so many pissabilities for you to take.
"Pissabilities." I guess that's when you can, like, do fancy things while taking a whiz. Like the old side-saddle whiz, perhaps. Or the ability to squat behind a bush, which I can somehow never do.
I guess I don't have too many pissabilities! Just the essentials, thankfully!
i agree, "private" anon, this is not the place.
the pissibilties are endless.
shut up just shut up. You know what I meant and you know it was true..... Thats why it burned you.
Is anything really impissible? I don't think so!
Anon, if it's pissible, and it burns? you should really see a doctor about that.
Wow, well. So I have gotten my SQUEE on tonight, and now I have gotten my LOL on, too.
Thanks, pissible anon! You would have made my night, had it not already been made. ^_^
Now, I'm off for ice cream and Sex Files!
anon 10:10
you win the "Typo of The Night" award.
Just a mistake. the idea of it still stands, she can't get a man and never will
anon 10:24
why?
Ahhh Kapunua, you are impissibly delightful.
I must say that I am quite, quite fond of you.
Mayo,
your blog has been so dead lately. what are you going to do about that?
Mission Impissible
Mayo,
How was your Tuesday? Did you rock it? Did you trick it out like I asked? Ummm, me? Yeah, well, not so much, but it sorta rocked and I had candy! That always makes the day better, right? Music and candy.
As always, thank you for the new words. You know, I was pondering the other day, because that's what I do. I'm a ponderer. Oh yeah, they call me the ponderer...what? Who? Me? Yeah. So, I was pondering on your last post and how you mentioned how your obituary won't mention about all the "stuff" you had accumulated. And I was like, "wow, I haven't even bothered to really live yet. I have tons of shit, boxes and trash bags full of shit, but what would my legacy be? What would I leave behind? Who would I leave behind?"
Which leads me to this post...stay with me here, I'm trying to make this flow properly. The one thing that I have that I would leave behind, that I give away so freely is my heart. I guess that would be my legacy...Solly, she had a good heart. That's something to be proud of, right?
This is going to get a bit long. I should have warned you 3 paragraphs ago. Through this past year...through the last 6 and 1/2 years...I gave away so much of myself, that I barely had anything left that was my own. I didn't realize that I was even doing it, until I found my voice, and I found my voice here. I started looking where I had never bothered to look. I started pulling out things that I had put away. I started remebering the things that I tried to so desperately to forget. And when he finally began to see me, I was no longer her. I was a completely different person. I didn't live a lie, I just tried too hard to be someone else.
It's funny. I look back now and I wasn't trying to make him love me. I was trying to make me love her.
Now, it's time to put her to rest or at least see if I can merge the 2.
They do share a pretty good heart, after all.
Mayo, thanks again, and you are absolutely right. At some point in our lives, we will switch roles. I will be you and you will be me. You'll trace my steps. And you'll wonder how in the fuck did she walk all those miles, with such little feet. And why the hell didn't she get a better pair of shoes and boy, this gal has no sense of direction. Meanwhile, I will be blazing you a brand new trail.
Goodnight, Mayo. Sweet dreams.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Accepting.
I think I will do absolutely nothing.
It is what it is.
anon 10:42
are you Mayo?
Mayo shouldn't have to do anything.
-A
200
And 201.
Goodnight Lovelies, my brain is trying to crawl out of my skull.
-A
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