When I was young I was picked on quite a bit. The usual set of circumstances, I was an easy target (smart, quiet, odd, insecure) and once the kids found my buttons they didn’t relent. For a long time I tried to ignore them. I spent a lot of time reading because I thought that with a book in front of my face I would blend into the background. And, for a while I did. From behind those first books I developed my love of the written word. Beginning with the marvels I found in the library and then later the stories I found in my own head. My need to escape elementary school torment helped foster my imagination, I suppose. I need to thank those kids for that.
So anyway, a few times the kids pretended that they wanted to be my friend. A kid would ask if I wanted to hang out on the playground either at recess or after school. The first couple of times I bought it. It was a pathetic display of desperation that, looking back now, makes me laugh. You can see that kid, right?...very awkward, over-filled book bag, disheveled clothes, greasy hair, hopeful smile. I would wait for my friend to show up and of course they wouldn’t and I would eventually trudge home. Sometimes they would gather somewhere along my route and give me a hard time shouting “Who were you waiting for back there?” and “Did you really think we’d be friends with you.” It was worse when they would wait until the next day bringing my humiliation to school to share with the rest of the class.
Why am I telling you this? Well…insight I suppose and also to offer some context that you may draw from for those times when I seem a bit vague (yes, really). I have had to overcome and still battle with some pretty substantial trust issues. Always present in the back of my mind is the voice telling me to watch out for anyone who gets too close because they probably have an ulterior motive that will leave me in a rut. It has taken me a long time and years of therapy to be able to ignore that voice and share even my more simple weaknesses with friends (without the guise of fiction). And, so I share this piece of myself, my past with you.
p.s. I am not sure what you will glean from my palate but my gut holds plenty.
(Not at present: soon and I'll let you know when.)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
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«Oldest ‹Older 4601 – 4800 of 4973 Newer› Newest»oh, no! no kitty! i'm a cat lady, i worship your folk, i'll smother you in kisses, but never never ever gravy.
*puts a plate of flaked fresh salmon down by the blog kitty*
that's a big rooster, ergo! i would've been nervous around him...was attacked by one as a kid (it just flew at me, no provocation, dug the spurs into my back...and promptly went into the stewpot. damn straight.) and so i never underestimate them.
Hi blog cat
me neither TJ
this breed are known as quiet and the roosters we've had have been really calm, almost friendly
but HUGE spurs
It's best to always be careful
They are nice to cuddle though
*rubs on BC's legs*
*settles down to plate of salmon*
*will forgive you*
*purrs*
*whew*
happy cat = happy tj
:)
ergo, i know some people even keep chickens as indoor house pets, but having raised them, collected eggs from them, had my hands pecked by them, etc. it's difficult to see them as adorable. lol
K if you're about try this for teeny idea of what MUSE concert is like with your fave song
(and mustard)
(and anyone else)
make room dark
volume up
play in full screen
picture 3 screens playing this left,centre and right
Stockholm Syndrome Tour Visual
TJ I have "bitch hen from hell" clucky at the moment
getting eggs is a peck-fest
*pets blog cat affectionately*
*jumps on BC's lap and proceeds to clean self*
Cat in all his glory
OH my! that is like a pillow with paws!
He is indeed a well-rounded pud!
oh my gosh, that cat's waist was 23 inches!
Did you notice how big his waist measurement is? 23 and 1/2 inches!!
Snap, TJ! :)
lol, resurrected wreck!
but i mean: O_O
23 inches.
that's a well-fed kitteh.
I've made costumes for performers that had smaller waists that that cat.
Okay, they were ballerinas, but still!
I had to get my tape out, that's a big kitteh
too many cheeseburgers
Too much kibble makes kitty a portly puddin'!
him is as big as peoples!!!
it looked so bewildered, too.
maybe he's thinking
"I iz falled over and I can't getz up"
he looks so soft and cuddly too, like you could just skoosh him and wobble his belly.
You'd need a strong lap to cope with him
"What iz this people doin' to me!!"
My friend's 23 lb cat walks on me sometimes. It actually hurts, and he's not as big as that kitteh.
lol you guys
Hi again RW *squeeze* :)
there were times when my cat was laying on my tummy, and she would launch herself off...
*oof!*
and she's only 10 lbs.
Hi, BC :)
*squeeze!*
my cat who's only small (he's just over 1) jumps on me from about a foot away, all 4 legs
and both cats seem to be able to stand on my boobs no matter how hard I try and deter them, and not just a step, full weight
Mr Plumpers (my friend's 23 lb cat) steps on my boobs all the time. Or sticks his paws down my cleavage, or up my nose.
Well, time for me to turn in.
Have a lovely evening, everyone :)
my cat who's only small (he's just over 1) jumps on me from about a foot away, all 4 legs
okay, that's just the cutest mental image!
when my cat was younger, she would lay on my upper chest and bury her head under my chin. a real snuggler. :)
good night resurrected wreck, thanks for the marvel of a cat pic!
would you "search the cavern" with me?
MR Plumpers is certainly a mr!
goodnight sdock sweet dreams
TJ he's a very springy cat
some nights I have both of them lying on me while I lie on the couch, it's sort of an uneasy truce, and I am covered with cat
which cavern?
why did I write sdock?
goddnight RW
sweet dreams
Goodnight RW, sweet dreams
would you "search the cavern" with me?
i must admit, i'm intrigued...
but my mother always told me not to go with strangers.
(but are you a stranger?)
(or just strange?)
*grin*
Toujours, do you really think that anon was Mayo?
Anonymous said...
would you "search the cavern" with me?
are we playing dungeons and dragons tonight?
does it involve pith helmets?
any hard hat should do.
1:41, it could have been anyone. i honestly don't know who it was.
i was just amused by the non sequitur.
Toujours thinks every anon who says something flirty or suggestive is Mayo, and he's talking to her.
so is this a real cavern or is it an allusion
why the frown 1:50?
why so sad, 1:50?
oh she does not
we have that many anons who's to say any are Mayo?
jinx! you owe me a coke, anon 1:52! :)
great minds think alike ^_^
hey does anyone remember what the thing was that if you said the same thing you yelled jinx and the other person couldn't talk until ? I can't remember
say their name?
yeah, but i still want my coke. :)
ergo, i thought there was counting involved, somehow?
it's about WONDER
What's about WONDER?
I cannot remember TJ
Hubby and I did ,in the car and I said "Ha! Jinx" but couldn't remember what it meant so I kinda had to back down on the whole jinx issue
ergo, you just shoulda slugged him in the shoulder. that usually covers most jinx-related situations, i find.
no biggie
thank you for caring
:-)
search the cavern is about wonder?
like explore the far reaches of your mind
a surprise party? for me?
you shouldn't have....
:)
2:04 glad you feel better
TJ I may stick to that
anon 2:04, you need a brownie. my sister left a plate of them...
snarf away!
:)
anon, you're not a little fez-wearing monkey are you?
because i'm getting a serious aladdin vibe all of a sudden.
"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
Have a goodnight blogbelievers
thanks anon
sweet dreams to you
oh, i like that song. good night beloved imortal, thanks for posting it. :)
BI needs a big hug from the hubby.
ooop[s thanks BI I missed the name , sorry
see you next time
Hi B, goodnight and sweet dreams
its so pretty
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
playing dirty, Pablo Nerada
*Neruda*
2;19 that's lovely
I hope they read it
So do I Ergoproxy.
Not playing dirty.
Not playing at all.
well, i'm starting to get really tired.
but hey ergo, get this: today i drew a map.
i was reading this mediocre fantasy, and all of a sudden i looked up from it with the notion to draw a map.
so i spent the rest of the afternoon doing just that, started with the coastline and a main river, and then started putting things were they "belonged". and it was cool because i think i might have to write about these places now, i know some things about them that i learned as i was drawing them.
weird, huh? but fun. :)
Haha. I got hugs from the hubby. Thanks.
Just because I put a song or lyrics up or whatever doesnt mean it has anything to do with me personally.
Please don't think that you would be mistaken.
It's a really good song thats all.
Written well.
Not being mean anon 2:15 at all
:)
I was going to put Heaven Help Us for TJ but I put that up for her quite a few times. Next time. G'night
that sounds nifty TJ I remember doing that, making up names for places and features, have you ever seen Maggie and the Ferocious Beast?
(my girl loves it) it's all in a little girls imagination and she has a map of "nowhere land" she's drawn, it's a great cartoon ~ Great googly moogly!
Maggie and the Ferocious beast
Anon 2:19. That was good. I liked it. Thanks for sharing.
yawns G'night
thanks for posting heaven help us, beloved imortal, i'm always happy to see those lyrics. :)
good night again.
ergo, i've never seen that (that i can recall), but i can't click on the youtube link. :(
i tried to load that song from yesterday this morning, and this computer or its connection or something, just won't cooperate. no youtubes for me here. :(
but it was a lot of fun, making up this place, wholecloth. i wonder what's going to happen there?
oh that's a shame it's the opening titles
it shows her map.
hres the wiki site
Great googly moogly!
oh that looks familiar ergo. i'll have to see if i can find the book next time i go to the library. :)
well, i'm really done in now. i've been sitting here listening to the live cd with my eyes closed, and it's getting more difficult to open them each time.
so, off to bed!
but i wanted to post my own song for tonight. apologies for the length!
Once upon a time, there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours,
Think of all the great things we would do
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
Then, the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If, by chance, I'd see you in the tavern,
We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
Just tonight, I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
good night!
not much
goodnight TJ sweet dreams
maybe you'll dreams events for your new land :)
mayo,
it's weird, but i've been remembering my road trip off and on this week. not deliberately, but every so often, i'll suddenly remember cleveland, or perfect st. louis, or msg.
always the shows, always standing in the crowd, always being so alive.
at first i was like, wow, live in the past much? turning into an old lady on her porch rocker, reminiscing about her glory days?
but then i realized what was most vivid about these memories was the way i felt at thse shows. i was an adventurer in my own life. i don't want to lose her.
and essentially, i'm heading back out again. i may not be hitting the road, or going to a ton of concerts, but it's still an adventure, isn't it?
so i'm going to hang on to those flashes as they come, and use them to keep who i really want to be fresh in my heart and mind.
i can do this.
i can.
good night to you, mayo. hope you have lovely, kind dreams, and hope your coffee is just absolutely perfect when you rise.
and be well, too, please?
Mayo
Well hell, I’ve been sick as a dog today. I actually slept almost the entire day only getting up a few times then heading right back to the sofa. Okay, gotta ask. Why is it sick as a dog? I mean other animals get sick so why do dogs get this dubious honor? Shit, ever seen a sick cat? Holy crap that can be so nasty. Yeah, my mind just wandered. Pretty sure I’m running a bit of a fever and when I do my mind really goes off in strange directions. Weird thing about today is I actually dreamed. I guess I don’t when I usually sleep because it’s just for 2 or 3 hours but today…lots of weird dreams. Think my favorite was I won a car at the casino. Yep, three little cars came up on the slot machine wheels. It was a green VW Bug. I remember in the dream thinking that I didn’t want that car and if I took it home the daughters would just fight over it. I also dreamed I was moving into an apartment. All my stuff was in boxes but as I looked around the kitchen of this apartment I was upset because I didn’t like the counter tops. I wanted to move back to my house. Do I think any of these dreams meant anything? Nope, not at all. Once again I’m pretty sure the fever is messing with my brain. Oh well, I’ve got to be better tomorrow. My youngest daughter has a series of doctor’s appointments. I’ve mentioned before she’s had tests run but the doctors are baffled. So now I’m taking her to a Pediatric Hospital that is well known in the area. The whole thought of it gives me the willies. I’ve been there once before and to me it’s so heartbreaking to see child size wheel chairs and beds. I can’t stand to see children sick. It just makes me want to cry. So yeah, I’ve got a bit of stress going about tomorrow.
Well I hope your day was a good one. I hope tomorrow will be even better for you. Eleven months – can you believe it? What a strange journey this has been.
Night Mayo
Elena (why couldn’t I have won a Dodge Viper?)
Goodnight Elena, TJ, sweet dreams
we can
we will
i do
♥
I'm off for the night. Goodnight Ergo, anyone else lurking, sweet dreams.
Sugarplum: No need to apologize, my friend. It's hard to keep track of the festivals. Way too many of them O_o
And I am not changing my opinion of Ville's smoking, muhaha. I don't approve smoking or cigarettes whatsoever. I value healthy lungs :)
I finally bought my copy of Breaking Dawn today, but from reading some of the reviews, it's a mixed bag, and apparently, a lot of people didn't like it. I got 730 more pages to go through and a review to write, so my opinion has to wait until I'm finished.
Anyways, goodnight to anyone here
I knew you would respond, so predictable
...and playin' dirty is your forte.
You ain't seen nothin' yet
B-B-B-Baby, you just ain't seen n-n-n-nothin' yet Here's something, here's something that you're never gonna forget
Oh elena I was wondering where you were
Poor thing I hope you feel real better soon, and I also hope your daughters tests are at least enough to point doctors in the right direction, tests that never find a reason are so frustrating.
So get well soon, rest as much as you can and I hope you dream of winning something you really want this time!
goodnight BC sweet dreams
Michael said...
Defeat them all. One at a time.
August 2, 2008 11:50 AM
not a chance
morning mayo!!
no new pretty words from you yet then! (obviously not). oh well, no worries. hope you are good and well and have a great monday! if that is at all possible?! nope possibly not!
hi SS!
i haven't have chance to check for any sneaky moves by you but i am just guessing that you have been bizzy and not around?
take it easy SS!
hello family!
hi ergo!
i want a mattress like yours!
elena hope you are feeling better?
solly and K i caught a wiff of some shit going down here as i scrolled. hope you are both ok?!
PP meant to ask "what was up with your bottom lip??!" some new fangled collagen boosting lip balm??!
ok can't stop sadly! hope everyone gets through their mondays as best they can!!
love to you all!
edit
have = had
obviously!
Good morning/afternoon/evening Mayo, SS, FASC, Ergo, BC/Sweetcheeks, Elena, everyone else I missed last night; the maybe soon to arrive Possum, Miranth and the missing and missed Kass, various anons, watchers and lurkers; all those going to sleep soon, and those waking soon, in the land o’blogbelieve!
For those waking: May the sun greet you with its golden rays and touch you with its warmth this morning!
For those going to sleep: May the stars kiss you goodnight and the moon tuck you in safely!
It seems I made a significant boo-boo yesterday morning! I typed Happy 10 month Anniversary, didn’t I? Oooops and *blush*. It seems I lost an entire month somewhere along the line. I know exactly what month it was! November! I always misplace November. Seriously, I don’t know what the heck happens to it. One morning I wake up and it’s Halloween; the next thing I know, it’s December 15th! Yeah, I know - that’s a month and a half I lose. Hopefully, I will not misplace November (and half of December) this year! ;P
Please allow me to correct the boo-boo this morning by saying: HAPPY 11 MONTH and 1 day ANNIVERSARY blogbelieve!!!
*feels much better now - that was bothering me*
Elena: I hope you feel better today!!! Good luck to you and your daughter. I agree with Ergo. I hope they can figure out what’s going on and your baby is not subjected to more tests. Let me know how things go!
Ergo: Did the Dream Police get you last night? If they did, I’ll reimburse the bail money. I did, after all, send them after you! *smooooch*
RW: I forgot to tell you, NICE CUT! Also, thanks for posting that fat cat photo. LOL!!!! That poor kitty’s waist is bigger than mine. That photo did inspire me to finally measure Sandy Ann’s waist! My poor big baby girl has a 35 inch waist! O_O She’s wider than she is tall. That’s it! It’s back on the green bean and lettuce diet for her!
Amy: Are you home yet? How was the wedding? Where are the pictures? Oh, and I missed you!
BC: What’s this about a new outfit? I must have details! Sorry you haven’t had an Killer sightings lately. Oh well, it’s a brand new, fresh week! Hopefully, you’ll ‘run into’ him this week.
L/Emerald: I hope you’re all recovered from that nasty stomach virus and eating solid food again!
Submitted for you pondering consideration today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”
and
“A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
Both by Wayne Dyer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wishing you all a very peaceful day/night!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Hi FASC - Welcome back!
ergo - Congratulations! :) And its great to see you back *hugs*
J - I hope L continues to improve - *hugs* for you both!
Wendy - Country twang actually gives me a headache! I don't know why!!! Some rock/country is cool though. I'll get back to you soon - I just have to look back over everything to compile a very long letter - be prepared :) *hugs*
BC - I understand about the other night, but I can't say that I am not disappointed, as I always enjoy our chats. And I miss you the most when you're away - or I am - (don't tell the others :) *hugs* sweetie!
elena - I hope you receive the news you're hoping for from the tests for your youngest. I am sending positive thoughts your way!
horrible anon(s)- I did think that I was having a very interesting and intelligent conversation with k (as j'observe) but I've long since realized that many speak french here. I still check j'observe's blog every now and again, actually. If you continue harassing people, as the anon said, I know that karma will get you in the end. Perhaps literally...
I have had a long weekend and I am very, very tired.
Beloved Imortal - Thank you for your advice the other day - it did work - and I discovered a LOT of the truth about other people around me using your method. I think I did recapture that sixth sense, too, or at least, if I looked at people from more of an observer's viewpoint, I learned what I needed to know. I tend to relate so well to people that I have trouble separating my feelings from our interactions - that includes my experiences in this space :) But in 'real-life,' it was confusing me - I wasn't getting that understanding of their true character - and one turned out to be a sexist ass! But, I also met cool, arty new friends - and I am very grateful for that experience. Thank you again :) I didn't expect to get such 'real-world' useful advice here on the internet, but it worked!
Mayo - :)
Take care BBers!
♥ - sorry, heart anon(s) :)
And, Sisterlor, WELCOME! :)
Goodmorning everyone!
Hi Mayo! *snorts* For some reason this just tickles me! =)
Hi SS!
Dude! OMGoodness! I lurked past your page yesterday and all your tools were hanging out in the open. O_O
You know a less innocent person may have added a few bits and pieces *cough - PP woz here! - cough*, but nuh-uh, I just closed my eyes (and your home).
You really have to watch who you share your privates with!
[If you want to want to figure out how it happened, the time was 10:18am 4th August where I am, so that would be about 2:18pm 3rd August, maybe, Mayo time, if that is any help? I'm a bit stink with time zones.]
Mustard, sorry I missed you yesterday. Loving your songs. It's going to be kick-ass band. =)
FASC,
No collagen, or lip enhancing stuff at all! Just an absolute crackpot allergic reaction to some ingredient. It looked like my lips had been replaced with two chippolatas. I kept on wanting to chew them! >_<
Kass,
Missing you. I'm hoping you're well.
SisterLor,
Nice to see you in blue. And another sister-set! =)
Elena,
I hope you make it through the day in one piece, today. Best of luck.
'Night all! =)
*leaves the blog a big multi tray of various flavours of pedialyte, and chocolate*
TWO GLASSES OF WINE
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayon(n)aise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "There is no room for
the pebbles or the golf balls The same goes for life; If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine!"
yeah...just like a couple of extra women in your life
Mayo,
Good Monday Morning! Did you notice I said that through clenched teeth? It was really hard not to throw a "fuck" in there somewheres. Don't you admire my restraint?!
Anyways...have a good one. Heard this song yesterday and it sums it all up for me.
Enjoy.
Falling to Pieces
Back and forth, I sway with the wind
Resolution slips away again
Right through my fingers, back into my heart
Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark
Sometimes I think I'm blind
Or I may be just paralyzed
Because the plot thickens every day
And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumblin' away
But I know, there's a picture beneath
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens...
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together
Layin' face down on the ground
My fingers in my ears to block the sound
My eyes shut tight to avoid the sight
Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight
Droplets of "yes" and "no"
In an ocean of "maybe"
From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline
From the top, another downhill slope of mine
But I know, the equilibrium's there
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Oh what the hell...
*taps Mayo on the shoulder*
Cool, I loved FNM!
Hi Mayo & anyone lurking,
I am about, just with rather more to do than I'm generally used to so my time spent on the Net is shrinking like the Wicked Witch of the West. Otherwise PP, I am well.
And I'm off to lunch...
Kass xx
hi wendy *smooooch*
PP *waves* that happened to me once too! And love the newspaper! Mayo turns up in the unlikliest of places
Hi Miranth
Hello 2 glasses of wine anon, very true piece, and a good excuse for my 2 glasses of wine each night!
have a good day sdock and Kass and all the soon to be arriving
Mayo goodnight and hope you have a great start tot he week
wishing you prosperity, hope, willingness and gratitude much love EP xx
SS hope the first full week of august brings a smile to your dial, sending you sunrises full of anticipation and sunsets full of satisfaction lotsa love EP xx
goodnight blogbelieve see you in my morning
♥xx♥
Kapunua
I agree, you made me laugh so much. Thank you. I like your brand of snark.
To handle a language skillfully is to practice a kind of evocative sorcery.
Mrs Mayo
Backtrack "mrs. Mayo" and pretend that you WEREN'T insulted and pissed off enough to post all that google shit about her! Over a POEM.
What are you talking about 9:13?
I said mrs. Mayo didn't I?
Now she's sucking up to K to pretend she wasn't mad enough at getting her poem insulted to go and post all that google info about her last night.
Hmmm 9:35 no one is "sucking" up to no one.
You do not know me. You only think you know my identity.
I did not post any of that vitriol. It is totally wrong. The so called "poem" was tongue in cheek. Her reaction was funny. I have always admired her.
However, as it always seems here, people seem to get accused for things they never did.
I will not explain myself any further. Believe what you will.
Kapunua and Sdock, I did not take part in any of that activity, and I think you have mistaken my identity. I'm sorry it happened to you. It was totally wrong and I don't understand why anyone would do that. Whether you believe this is up to you. I will not be offended.
And to be upset over a critique of a poem? please...
Mrs Mayo
I don't think you are Alie or Lombard or tink. I think you are Mrs. mayo and you did not harrass K or Sdock. At first I thought it was you. Now I think otherwise.
Who sent the email out with Sdock's name? The OPS. They were the only ones who had it. The group of people who GOT that email, someone from there put Sdock's real name on this blog. It was the time Mayo deleted it. It was the only time that happened. That was the OPS letter.
I also think that it was the OPS who wrote to K's boss to get her fired. That wasn't some anon passing through..... it was someone who knew her enough to hate her. And to know how to get to her. The OPS tried to set her up o take the fall for lots of things. They put her in with the 'orange little bees' thing. They said that she was the anon who kept bothering them. No matter what she does..... they still go after her. I think it ws THEM who got her fired. Not Alie. Not Tink. Not Lombard or Mrs Mayo.
Think about it. They gave away Sdock's real name and it got onto the blog. They made that post then tried to blame 'orange little bees' or The Day Crew porchies. And they are the only ones here who have it in for K bad enough to keep going after her.
He says he saw the Devil. He says the Devil was in the harbor, killing many men.
Where's your head, Agent Kujan? Where do you think the pressure's coming from? Keyser Soze - or whatever you want to call him - knows where I am right now. He's got the front burner under' your ass to let me go so he can scoop me up ten minutes later. Immunity was just to deal with you assholes. I got a whole new problem when I post bail.
I'm just askign you to think about it
How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?
You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it'll be to get rid of me. After that... my guess is you'll never hear from him again.
My point, anons, is that it doesn't matter who did it, and pointing fingers at this point isn't going to accomplish anything but more drama. Whoever wrote that email or whatever (and it wasn't to my boss, it was to the evil clowns, who then stood on my douche of an ex boss until he caved,) did me the biggest favor anyone's ever done for me, dig?
And if those people want to go and email my Sifu now with another copy/paste? Well be my guest. Do go and tell my training brothers and sisters that I think Tristan looks like Matt Damon and I wanted to date him two years ago. Do tell them that I think Chris is beautiful and gracious, and that Alex is smart and fun, or that I think Raq is a gorgeous girl with a thousand-year-old soul, or that Mike has a good heart but I worry because he hurts himself. Tell them I think they're all attractive and heroic. I'm sure they'll all be so upset. Go for it.
maybe no one wants to catch you...at least I don't.
All lies lead to the truth.
I gotta go mind the Boychild for a few hours. You anons behave yourselves.
Solly, I love FNM and that is still one of my favorite songs by them. They were truly the best band of the 80's and early 90's.
I just think its obvious K and .... So easy to be fooled. Think about it
if you find the truth, will you believe it?
The truth, the truth! There is no truth! These men, they make it up as they go along.
*kiss*
Really going now. Later, all. ^_^
Krycek
You're hawt!
:* :* :*
hello, is anyone here?
i guess i am all alone...
good morning good morning!
i've used up all my morning time on the computer writing emails, so i'm really only stopping in to say good bye/have a good day/see you tonight. :(
but! i'm in an optimistic mood today, feeling rather buoyed up, so i'm hoping to be able to finish up some of my current art projects, and so maybe if i do, i'll be back tonight with a clicky link or two for an itty-bitty show & tell. if no one would mind?
have a good day blogbelieve!
and you have a good day, too, mayo. (my coffee was pretty good, but not actually perfect. better luck next time for me, hope your's truly hit the spot. *grin*)
bye now. :)
♥
hi and bye, silence! :)
BOO!
BABA BOOEY!
BOO HOO!
O_o
nobody has to believe it, but I think it is true.
My point, anons, is that it doesn't matter who did it, and pointing fingers at this point isn't going to accomplish anything but more drama.
But don't you ever wonder why they always point THEIR finger at YOU? They don't seem to mind the drama of starting trouble..... They hate you, they always talk about you. The email with Sdock's name came from them. So why is it hard to believe that they would set you up to lose your job too? I can't believe it doesn't matter. If someone hates you that much...... it matters.
I don't know if they were the ones googling you last night, whoever that was sounded like the ones who may have got you fired. I don't know K. Don't you wonder? Don't you want to know? Think about who hates you that much, who always blames you for everything. Who always drags your name. Who always points the finger at you when someone bothers them. Who gave away Sdock's real name.
Hi to anyone here. Hi RW *super big squeeze* This is just a quick note to give you some good news....................
I got accepted to the arts school!! :)
Jesus christ, it's just a blog!
Hi, BC :) *SQUEEZE*
That's fabulous news!! Congratulations!!!
BC,
that's awesome, congrats!
Jesus christ, it's just a blog!
No Resurrected Wreck. It's someone's career that got flushed BECAUSE of the blog. And no one ever says anything about it! Not even MAYO said anything about it. Everyone brushed it off. If it was me, I would care!
Jesus christ, it's just a blog!"
That's the shittiest thing I've ever heard someone say on here. She lost her job. It's not 'just a blog' I am talking about, it is who would hate her enough to do that.
I agree 1:51. That's what I m saying.
Give it a rest, 1:52pm.
But anon she LIKED losing her job remember?
That's the shittiest thing I've ever heard someone say on here.
Fuck you.
Why Resurrected wreck? Because it's not YOUR job? ANd YOUR life that is being raped??
You obviously care so much.
No, it really IS the shittiest thing I've ever heard. I come on here sometimes and I can't BELIEVE the things that happen to K and Sdock. Their real names, their lives, their JOBS. Give it a rest? Yeah that is SHITTY. Just because it's not your life and your job. Why should you care?
Fuck you as well.
I feel bad for K too. But she doesn't seem to care about it anons, so why should you? And why should Resurrected Wreck care? Leave her alone.
Good comeback Resurrected Wreck.
YOu can't force people to care. Mayo didn't care and I didn't see peopel call him shitty. Reserrected Wreck does not have to care either.
Just because it's not your life and your job. Why should you care?
That's my point. Why should she care? Why should anyone care? K doesn't care so no one else has to.
Whoever wrote that email or whatever (and it wasn't to my boss, it was to the evil clowns, who then stood on my douche of an ex boss until he caved,) did me the biggest favor anyone's ever done for me, dig?
Why should anyone be forced to be upset over her losing her job if she is happy about it?
You know it's funny Resurrected Wreck. When the OPS point the finger at everyone else over what they did, I don't see you telling them to give it a rest.
Why should anyone be forced to be upset over her losing her job if she is happy about it?
Because they are obviously not happy about stopping there jackass. Did you see what happened last night? Oh wait we're not supposed to talk about that. Give it a rest.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
You know it's funny Resurrected Wreck. When the OPS point the finger at everyone else over what they did, I don't see you telling them to give it a rest.
That is true, I'll give you that. The OPS are allowed to drag people's names through the mud and point fingers every time something happens to them. But they are never told to give it a rest. Guess K doesn't have as many friends as she thinks.
Jesus christ, it's just a blog!
yeah, fuck her if she lost her nob. It's just a blog!
job not nob, lol
LOL!!! yeh Resurrected wouldn't care if she lost a nob either.
That's her whole defense. "It's juts a blog". "Fuck you".
This takes the ultimate cake.
ONE TIME ONLY, so if you miss this one, too bad.
Neither L nor myself had ANYTHING to do with K getting fired. I'm sorry it happened, that was a low blow, and it crossed the line into "taking the blog way too seriously".
Also crossing the line is the obsession you Hate OPs Anons have for us. According to you lot, we've been every one of the hateful, harassing anons that ever set foot in the Castle.
We've both addressed all other accusations, and will not do so again. THIS ONE, however, is beyond belief. Seems we are quite convenient to lay blame on, too.
If you care to look back a bit, you will find when all that shit happened about K's job, you will see that both L and I were in Memphis at the Beale Street Music Festival. Both Thursday and Friday. I can assure you we were not stopping some local on the street to ask if we could borrow a computer to trash anyone.
J
Haha, nob!
According to you lot, we've been every one of the hateful, harassing anons that ever set foot in the Castle.
Funny! According to you, it was K!!
You seem to know a lot about the days when it supposedly started.
Hahahaa it's just a blog, forget about it, she lost her career, fuck her if she can't take a joke!
According to you lot, we've been every one of the hateful, harassing anons that ever set foot in the Castle.
Funny! According to you, it was K!!
Good point!! They are allowed to always blame her, but if someone blames them they feel all persecuted. Please.
Hahahaa it's just a blog, forget about it, she lost her career, fuck her if she can't take a joke!
Exactly.
I know. I just never expected it from Resurrected Wreck. I thought she and K liked each other.
If you care to look back a bit, you will find when all that shit happened about K's job, you will see that both L and I were in Memphis at the Beale Street Music Festival. Both Thursday and Friday.
it's interesting that you remember the exact days.
You don't give a damn about K. You're just trying to get a rise out of whoever's in here. Well, you got one.
Have a nice fucking day.
Thank you RW, 1:50 :)
Hi J. See you guys later
K-wreck 4 eva
I happen to like and respect K. You are th one who thinks that 'it's just a blog' and fuck anyone who wants to find out who would do that shit to her.
If you care to look back a bit, you will find when all that shit happened about K's job, you will see that both L and I were in Memphis at the Beale Street Music Festival. Both Thursday and Friday.
it's interesting that you remember the exact days.
^I don't even remember the exact days it happened. Wow.
nobber!
I happen to like and respect K. You are th one who thinks that 'it's just a blog' and fuck anyone who wants to find out who would do that shit to her.
That is not what I said, and you know it.
What about posting Sdock's real name in emails, OPS? Blaming Fimble Star for making up an email.... Blaming K every time someone says something about you... Yeh that's OK. I don't see Resurrected Wreck complaining about when you do that.
anon 2:12
likes to fling boogers
it's interesting that you remember the exact days.
The reason I know when it happened is because it was THE topic of discussion when we were going to the MCR concerts in May. It was all over the blog, and all I did was go back and check the date before I posted this comment. Not difficult.
Now, I am done with you.
J
Au contraire, it is EXACTLY what you said Resurrected Wreck. I m honestly suprised.
Again, fuck you.
Mayo, your blog stinks.
anon 2:14
smells, and it ain't like roses
I did go back and check. It wasn't until the middle of the week when she lost her job. How would you have known about it thursday and friday?
Again, your comeback stinks Resurrected Wreck. What a shitty thing to say.
Stop trying to guilt RW into making something out of it. KAPU SAID SHE DIdN"T CARE. She thanked the anons. WHY should RW care? Like she said. It's just a blog. Forget it.
Thank you RW, 1:50 :)
Hi J. See you guys later
anon 2:26
is a bed wetter
Look back. Resurrected Wreck thought it was shitty of Mayo to not say anything about it. But now she is trying to say it's not a big deal.
Kapu said she didn't care about losing her job. Now they are going after other parts of her life.
Oh wait I forgot. It's just a blog.
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