When I was young I was picked on quite a bit. The usual set of circumstances, I was an easy target (smart, quiet, odd, insecure) and once the kids found my buttons they didn’t relent. For a long time I tried to ignore them. I spent a lot of time reading because I thought that with a book in front of my face I would blend into the background. And, for a while I did. From behind those first books I developed my love of the written word. Beginning with the marvels I found in the library and then later the stories I found in my own head. My need to escape elementary school torment helped foster my imagination, I suppose. I need to thank those kids for that.
So anyway, a few times the kids pretended that they wanted to be my friend. A kid would ask if I wanted to hang out on the playground either at recess or after school. The first couple of times I bought it. It was a pathetic display of desperation that, looking back now, makes me laugh. You can see that kid, right?...very awkward, over-filled book bag, disheveled clothes, greasy hair, hopeful smile. I would wait for my friend to show up and of course they wouldn’t and I would eventually trudge home. Sometimes they would gather somewhere along my route and give me a hard time shouting “Who were you waiting for back there?” and “Did you really think we’d be friends with you.” It was worse when they would wait until the next day bringing my humiliation to school to share with the rest of the class.
Why am I telling you this? Well…insight I suppose and also to offer some context that you may draw from for those times when I seem a bit vague (yes, really). I have had to overcome and still battle with some pretty substantial trust issues. Always present in the back of my mind is the voice telling me to watch out for anyone who gets too close because they probably have an ulterior motive that will leave me in a rut. It has taken me a long time and years of therapy to be able to ignore that voice and share even my more simple weaknesses with friends (without the guise of fiction). And, so I share this piece of myself, my past with you.
p.s. I am not sure what you will glean from my palate but my gut holds plenty.
(Not at present: soon and I'll let you know when.)
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«Oldest ‹Older 3801 – 4000 of 4973 Newer› Newest»It's ok, TJ, sometimes it helps to get rid of a thought or idea if you talk about it.
BC, it is indeed.
The world is becoming a more dangerous place...
Absolutely. I blame Bush. Actually, I blame him for most everything, so it may not count.
Speaking of presidents, are either of you guys going to vote this year? I've decided that I'm not. I don't care for either candidate, and I don't feel comfortable just voting for the party-nominated candidate. So, I'll sit this one out.
An event like that is unpredictable.
It does pay to be alert, but how much more do you become before it turns into paranoia?
thanks bc. :)
i should be thinking about getting to bed, so i'll say good night now.
good night!
*grin*
well, that's a good point, anon, and kind of why i said something about it here. otherwise, i'd just keep thinking about it, you know?
and i have too much imagination.
ok, now i'm going to bed!
good night. :)
Goodnight TJ, sleep easy.
Anon, very good point. I think we could all be a little more careful at times, but you can't go around looking over your shoulder. Keep your eyes open if you see someone acting strangely--but then, how to define strangely? Plus, I feel that if it's your time to go, there's nothing you can do to stop it completely. You may be able to postpone it, but if it's not one way, it'll be another. When God wants you, you gotta go.
Goodnight toujours, sleep well.
J, I also blame Bush as well. It's still hard to believe that fucktard went to Yale, but I'm sure his daddy had something to do with that. And with that offshore drilling proposal, I feel like it's only going to temporarily solve the oil/high gas prices, and then, when all the oil is gone, it's back to square one.
I think voting is a very very important issue, so I think I will when the elections come in November. I am not voting for McCain, obviously.
Anon, great question, so many different answers. I think that even when it's getting bad out there, I believe the best advice given is to not live your life in absolute fear. If you live in fear, you are allowing the paranoia to win and take over your life, and your mind, and then, you'll become trapped by your own thoughts.
Goodnight TJ, sweet dreams :)
Obviously, I wouldn't vote for McCain either, BC. :D But, I don't think Obama has enough experience yet. Maybe in 2 or 3 more elections, but not now. America is so fucked up right now that we need someone who's dealt with world leaders, domestic issues, education, unemployment, etc. before. Plus I think his wife is going to create problems for him just by talking out of turn. She's already said some firestorm things that haven't set well with many.
JUST MY VIEWS. Not trying to cause trouble.
mayo,
so, like i already mentioned, today was an off-kilter day. it wasn't a bad day, i was just a little out-of-step all day long.
we went into town to have lunch with my sister, and the entire way there, i just sat and watched the trees go by, thinking about what has happened to bring me here, to this moment.
back at the house, i read a bit, but spent the bulk of the afternoon again, just sitting, thinking.
going over my path, and my future, and how to get me there, and what might happen once i'm there.
i was in my head most of the day.
that doesn't really sound so strange, written down like that, but it was a low-key weird. walking meditation. desultory pondering.
and there's nothing i can do with it.
before, days like today would end with me telling it all out to my spouse, all the threads and all the inconclusive alleys of my meanderings. just to lay it out, and maybe a pattern would emerge, or maybe not, but it didn't matter. that wasn't the point of telling him.
because a day like this one leaves you feeling disconnected, like you're still in a balloon hovering over your life. and once told, he always did the right thing.
he held me, and brought me home. just an embrace, but that was enough. nothing is more secure than that.
he forgot how to do that eventually, but that's what's good about marriage, you know. there's someone there to listen when you need to ramble, and then having listened, having made you real again by that alone, they bring you back home.
i miss that.
well, anyway, that was lammas. maybe i'll be make some sense out of it tomorrow. *grin*
good night, mayo. sweet dreams to you, my friend.
Well, BC, it's been fun talking politics, murder, and world mental status! But, shooooo, I'm pooped and have to get up semi-early to go to Mom's.
Not looking too forward to that this week. Just want to sleep, really. Ah well, so it goes.
Goodnight BC and Anon, and Ergo when you come back in!
love, faith, hope
I'm gonna have to agree J, about obama having lack of experience, I wish there was more choices though :/
But fuck, anyone who is decent would be better than having the dumbest president in history right now. He needs to be impeached already
Good luck at Mom's J. Goodnight to you and L, sweet dreams
Mayo,
Maybe you read earlier that we spent another lovely evening at the ER. Two nights in a row. Man, we are two women that know how to par-TAY.
...yeaaaaaaah, maybe not this time.
But regardless of whether it was enjoyable (NOT), that's what you do for your Best Friend. You take them to the ER two nights in a row if their stomach's trying to claw its way out of them and their BP is 205/110. Because they would do it for you.
I know you and your Best Friend would do that for each other. Right?
Hopefully your answer is "yes". Don't throw away a true friendship, b/c best friends are hard to find.
BTW, Elena said to tell you "Night Mayo" and "Thought of a title yet?" She said you'd get it.
Take care, sleep well, see you tomorrow.
SS baby,
Long Day II, now officially over. After running errands this afternoon, then taking L back to the ER, I'm--yes, imagine it--tired. Not really sleepy, though, so there's the problem.
Another problem is that suddenly I can't think of anything to say.
That may be my cue to go. ;)
Ok, I'm off (yes, yes, I know, that's normal, don't be like that). Have a wonderful Saturday, and I'll see you tomorrow.
Goodnight precious, I love you.
My heart to yours, always.
Make me feel again
Slide across my skin again
Let me uncover you to rediscover you
And I will open up
If you promise to give in
On this perfect night
Let the two of us be one
We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
Cause I would leave it all so far behind
Just to be with you today
So make me feel again
Feel your every breath again
Nevermind everyone
There's only me and you
We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
Cause I would leave it all so far behind
Just to be with you today
Just to be with you today
Just to be with you today
Just to be with you
We will be again another time
No matter what all the others say
Cause I would leave it all so far behind
Just to be with you today
So we will be again another time
And I will do all I need to do
To leave the others all so far behind
Just so I can be
Just so I can be....
....With you, with you, with you, with you....
Hi lyric anon
BC - Are you still here?
I visited at your place earlier. I just woke up. I can never sleep long...
Hi miranth, how are you? *hugs*
Yep, I'm still here, thanks for stopping by my blog :)
Finally! I know - I am late for everything... :)
I only read this page, so I don't know what's going on, though I did read them teasing me earlier with 'I know' as confused anon. I smiled.
They remind me that I must always come back, as getting rid of us is their aim.
Anyway, I am voting Obama, because even if I didn't agree with his politics - and I do - I would have to vote for him to counteract at least one of those who wouldn't vote for him merely because of his skin color.
A lot of people are racists. I see it being from the D.
I forgot to ask - how are you?
I'm voting obama too. I have heard about how some people are not voting for him just because he's African American. I, for one, think that is a very stupid notion. Race should not be a factor at all.
I'm okay, but going to sleep in a few.
I understand, I still feel sleepy, myself. I only took a nap.
On a local union paper, they had an image with McCain morphing into Bush - and I can't help but agree about their similarities. And I knew Bush was going to be terrible at the outset - I told everyone to bend over. :D
Yes, I did.
But I had no idea the extent to which he would fuck things up, with the help of his henchman Cheney. Though Cheney just may have been in control all along.
to Your Always, from July 20:
Dreaming of you, my love, and drowning in the scent of roses.
Hi Your heart
BC - I assume you fell asleep? I think I will too.
I hope that I have the chance to talk to you again another time :)
*hugs*
Good morning/afternoon/evening Mayo, SS, Miranth, BC, J, TJ, FASC, Kass and Possum (do we need to send a search party out for you two?), Lewis; various anons, watchers and lurkers; independent, reform party, green party, republican and democratic voters in the land o’blogbelieve!
How are you all on this hot and sticky Saturday morning? Well, happy and just the right temperature, I hope!
FASC: It sounds as though you had one heck of a holiday! I really appreciate all those drinks you had for me. *hiccup*
Safe travels on your way home!
J: Please give L/Emerald a humongous ‘feel better and get well soon’ hug for me. I hope you’re getting some rest and remembering to take care of yourself while taking care of her.
BC: How are you sweet cheeks? Did you decide what to wear to the MOM event yet? Any new Killer developments? *wiggles eyebrows*
Elena: Sandy Ann sends her love to Jake. She misses receiving those sweet messages from him.
Ergo: Have a great time at the fair and good luck!!!! *smoooooooch*
Amy: Have a great time at the wedding and do some dancing for me! ;) Don't forget the pictures!!!
It seems as though my choice of songs yesterday morning, was a bit prophetic. If some of you did not google the lyrics to find out what the song is about: It is a song about going “Face to Face with your DEVILS”. Not only going face to face with them; but also grabbing them by the horns - staring them right in the eyes - and kicking them straight back to hell, before they drag you down with them!
Anon at 1:23 yesterday afternoon: I have no doubt you can go face to face with your devils and send them right back to Hades. Wishing you the best of luck , the strength, confidence and will power to do just that!
For your consideration to do whatever you wish with today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Starfish
Author Unknown
An old man was walking along the beach, when he came upon a part of the sand where thousands of starfish had washed ashore. A little further down the beach he saw a young woman, who was picking up the starfish one at a time and tossing them back into the ocean. "Oh you silly girl," he exclaimed. "You can't possibly save all of these starfish. There's too many." The woman smiled and said, "I know. But I can save this one, " and she tossed another into the ocean, "and this one", toss, "and this one..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No one can do it all; but, we all should do what we can!
Have a great Saturday/Sunday, everyone!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
Darn! I just missed the "spooky" 6:16 spot. Oh well, perhaps tomorrow!
*blows kisses*
To Your Heart @ 4:18 ~
Oh my bright flame, you make me drunk on your words, and greedy, and impatient.
Quando, quando, quando...
so, did anyone hear about the incident on the greyhound bus up in canada?
a guy just up and stabbed his seatmate, while the poor man was sleeping. stabbed him in the chest repeatedly, and then, after everyone else escaped the bus, and he was barricaded in...he decapitated his victim.
Stabbed him in the neck, I believe. It's been all over the news here. The guy's in court now, up for psychiatric evaluation.
He's got no priors for any type of violent behavior, and by all accounts lived a pretty quiet life with his wife. Nobody knows why he suddenly snapped.
A similar incident happened in Toronto a few months ago. A man randomly attacked a young woman at a bus shelter, stabbed her in the stomach then walked away. Luckily, she survived it. Turns out, the man had previously been arrested for another random attack, but didn't get sent to jail because he was deemed mentally unable to be held accountable for his actions. So they just let him back out onto the streets.
I'm not surprised things like this happen when the government is trying to cut costs by closing down institutions & hospital wings that were there to accommodate & deal with people like him. There's cot to be a better way to save money (eg. like putting a tap on government officials' spending & travel expenses).
*got to be
when, when, when?
What a joke anon. Ring her.
you did offer her your rose, and she answered your question
this is beyond ridiculous
Occurrences like that often make me wonder what step might have been skipped or what fuse might have been lit in that person's life.
Anyway, good morning, guys, Mayo, SS. I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday. :)
I, on the otherhand, don't even want to be awake today. Just let this one go right on by.
Hi, Mustard :)
Hey there, RW. :)
Whatchoo up to today?
BlogBelieve,
G'morning, hope you guys have a great Saturday!
I feel hungover this morning, complete with the headache.
And let's just say that hearing the Pussycat Dolls blaring in my ear is not helping me.
Makes me want to throttle someone.
Mwah! Mwah!
Pussycat Dolls??
>.<
I'm sorry you're feeling icky, Solly :(
DON'TCHA WISH YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS HAWT LIKE ME?!
DON'TCHA?
DON'TCHA?
DON'TCHA?
DON'TCHA?
>_<
I dunno, RW. I haven't decided yet.
is Mayo in love with heart? O_o
"I spent my high school career spit and shoved to agree."
The term "high school career" has always bothered me.
Mayo,
Have a nice Saturday! Can you feel a touch of fall in the air? I can and I love it.
Of course it's probably just my imagination....Yeah, the fucker works at the most inconvenient times.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Bubblewrap and boxes and boo hoos.....
"So I could watch all my heroes Sharpie embarassing messages on themselves & display strategically-placed hickies"
Doens't sound right, too many words...
*Girlfriend, and further proof that I shouldn't be trying to sing a Pussy Cat Dolls song.
Sometimes I get so still it makes me dizzy.
I end my solo moonlight dance and bow out gracefully.
Sometimes I still let you play the prophet in my head, as I play back the words you said.
So in my mind I can go back in time and tell you, you were wrong.
And you'd say, "Remember the time I called you wildflower?"
I guess you took me a little too seriously.
You'd say, "it's not just you, it's just your bravado that causes my worry."
I can see you saying this to me.
One time I undressed my soul to wander.
I found a greener shade of meadow, and sat right down to rest.
That time you rolled your eyes away to ponder the things your own soul took for granted and your own loneliness, but I digress.
'Cause you'd say, "Remember the time I called you a river fat with your own rain?"
I guess you took me a little too seriously.
You'd say, "It's not just you, it's your indifference that causes my worry."
I can see you saying this to me.
Myself, I don't have anyone to blame except your self-appointed sacrifice to save me.
Though you know that nothing's ever gonna change
You try your baby, baby, baby's.
And now sometimes, I still relive your benediction.
Sounds like the voice of a thousand angels armed to rescue me.
Sometimes I still paint my door red and say a prayer that your spirit won't pass there.
That all these wisdoms of a lifetime of just-like-yous has set me free.
And you'd say, "Remember the time I called you a kiss blown from a thousand miles away?"
I guess you took me a little too seriously.
Yes I know it's not just me, it's just my bravado that causes my worry."
I can see you saying this to me.
Because I always feel like singing....and this song reminds me....
Nobody should, Mustard, especially the Pussycat Dolls.
Mustard,
Their new song has the catchy hook of something like "careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it."
Since I really can't remember, I suppose it wasn't all that catchy....
We really just get to writing our song today.
Or maybe we will just be a revolutionary No Name band with no songs, we will just thrash around onstage playing air instruments with nothing but silence in the crowd.
*gets me chills just thinking about it*
I think I like the music to "Disenchanted" moreso than the words.
Same with "Dead!" and "...Disappear" and "HOW," but not "FLW." The others, on that album, I'm indifferent.
We would be the most awesomest No Name Band eveeeeeer. /Adam Lazzara
A Line-storm Song
by Robert Frost
The line-storm clouds fly tattered and swift,
The road is forlorn all day,
Where a myriad snowy quartz stones lift,
And the hoof-prints vanish away.
The roadside flowers, too wet for the bee,
Expend their bloom in vain.
Come over the hills and far with me,
And be my love in the rain.
The birds have less to say for themselves
In the wood-world’s torn despair
Than now these numberless years the elves,
Although they are no less there:
All song of the woods is crushed like some
Wild, easily shattered rose.
Come, be my love in the wet woods; come,
Where the boughs rain when it blows.
There is the gale to urge behind
And bruit our singing down,
And the shallow waters aflutter with wind
From which to gather your gown.
What matter if we go clear to the west,
And come not through dry-shod?
For wilding brooch shall wet your breast
The rain-fresh goldenrod.
Oh, never this whelming east wind swells
But it seems like the sea’s return
To the ancient lands where it left the shells
Before the age of the fern;
And it seems like the time when after doubt
Our love came back amain.
Oh, come forth into the storm and rout
And be my love in the rain.
You know, if we keep this up, we are going to have to stick to, "No Name Band" as our for real imaginary band name.
I really like WTTBP, Sleep, and Blood. Do not like Teenagers. The others I like, but not as much as the above-mentioned three.
Forgot: I also love Mama.
Maybe I will go back and take a look at Paul and Emma and try my best to remember.
We should have told the blog what it was so someone could help us to remember.
Did it have something to do with Paul and Emma?
I'z gots to head out for a bit. I am cat sitting this weekend for my friends who live just around the corner, and the kitties will be wanting their brekkie.
Back in a while!
Oh yeah, musically, for sure "Mama."
I like TBP, but in my opinion, the lyrics can't stand alone. The lyrics need the music. Maybe that's why I'm just, "Meh."
But on Revenge, those lyrics have that ability. They can be seperated from the music and still be good. But, that's just me.
Yep, RW! It was an amazing band name that PPU would have loved and we were inspired by Paul and Emma's story.
It was amazing.
See ya later!
Yeah, Mustard, that's what our paranoia of someone stealing the most awesome band name evah, gets us.....A Band With No Name!
Gah!
Later, Folks!
Kid Rock is on TV and I am a little distracted.
Mustard,
Before I go, make it a Jack White kind of day.
*grin*
Feel me?
Yeah, I know you do.
Come over the hills and far with me,
And be my love in the rain.
yes. ♥
In the good old days people used to write to each other and privately reveal their feelings to each other.
It can't be really that hard for you to do that, seeing that she is only a blog away.
It's starting to appears like the blog equivalent of sharpies.
10:31 you've given 10:20 your answer for the second time.
This is not WOW. It about time you stop this game and once and for all contact each other. I guess the emails should be answered now.
Ummmm, yeah.
I don't wanna do anything today so I probably won't.
Have a good one, BlogBelieve!
Mayo,
Have a nice Saturday!
SS,
You, too! Hope you are doing okay. Miss you!
XOXO
Yet the strongest remain. BY "Your Choice"
Then Mr. White it will be.
Doorbell, WHOOP WHOOP!
Hi Smoke!
Bye, Smoke! :)
good morning.
i've been listening to "desert song" on repeat all morning. i think it's beginning to induce an altered state. :)
i've always done this -- get hooked on one song, or one album, and then just play it over and over and over and over and over, until every connection in my brain is positively vibrating with it.
*grin*
gonna go see what's what on my lj. back soon.
Defeat them all. One at a time.
oooh-kay. totally don't get the quotes, but...
*shrugs*
everyone must be out running around, and here i am, crouched at the computer like a troglodyte, coffee and happy clicking keyboard as i write, and write, and write.
*grin*
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down, on me
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean
And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin
On a clear day I can see a very long way
On a clear day I can see a very long way
like that song, anon. i can see myself in it. :)
Can't Finish What You Started
Why can't you finish what you've started?
Why can't you try and understand?
It doesn't make a bit of difference if you start what you can't finish
Every story needs an ending, after all.
I think I've known it for a long time
Suffice to say, it's been a while
You're too afraid to face the outcome
Quite likely, you're a failure
It's a shitty thing to say, but hey man - the clock is ticking
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
What fills the magic in the meantime?
I know it’s hard without a vice,
You need to find a new solution,
Adaptation or retribution,
If you truly do believe in something,
Somehow it all works out.
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
I'm completely bored
With every single word
And nothing ever works
And this juvenile search
Is systematically revealing to me
That I need a new approach
I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start
So sick of all the things I'm trying to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I...
Love that song. ^ But I always heard the lyrics as 'I'm just waiting for my world to fall apart.'
Great song though. MCS is so underappreciated. :/
If you truly do believe in something,
Somehow it all works out.
haven't heard the song myself, but i like those lines.
*loves MCS, too*
MCS is so underappreciated.
I agree so hard.
For Toujours. :)
oh! thank you for the link, anon. :)
i'll have to wait and load it tomorrow morning though, ok? youtubes take forever with this dial-up, and unfortunately, i need to give up the computer for the day. :(
can't wait to hear it, though!
Thanks for leaving that link, anon.
I've never listened to MCS before and I really enjoyed the song.
Now back to work for me...
hi and bye, elena!
*waves as she heads out the door*
Welcome. :)
MCS always has great lyrics. Very introspective, often funny, sometimes dark, but at the same time uplifting. They put on a great live show as well.
Effing Blogger. >_<
Anyway...
I think The Conversation and Hello Helicopter are my two favorites off that particular album -- The Conversation for its simplicity and lyrics, Hello Helicopter a crazy reason I'm sure.
The part at around 2:25, I guess I would consider it the climax of the piece where Justin's voice seems like it's at its max, and they almost have two-part harmony all the way through.
sorry about the deletions, i was just saying that i think i'm done for the day, and i should get my butt off the computer.
thanks again anon -- i love adding new bands to my personal roster, so i'll definitely be checking them out!
see you tonight, blogbelieve.
bye, mayo. have a good rest of the day, ok?
♥
Hi and bye TJ
I'm listening to MCS right now!
Sorry I don't know a thing about the band. How long have they been around?
I honestly don't think I can choose a favorite MCS song - or album for that matter. They're all just so good.
I do like the two tracks you mentioned, MIB. It's really good to find someone else who appreciates them. :)
The band has been around for about ten years now, Elena, but their first major record label release was in 2003.
I honestly don't think they're capable of making a bad record and I never get tired of listening to them.
No, me either. They keep it fresh and have continuously developed their sound.
Hey Mustard
Thanks for the info, anon. It's nice to learn something new. I'll have to check out more of their stuff!
Happy Saturday everyone!
Um... what's MCS?
Why is it that even though you look at the same reflection in the mirror every fucking day there are some days that you can't stand the sight of yourself?
I mean it's not like you're any uglier than yesterday, so what the fuck is that all about?
Just thinking out loud.....
Andrea:
Motion City Soundtrack
Sdock:
Good question, and one I can't answer.
Hi Andrea
Sdock cause sometimes what you see in the mirror is what you're feeling inside.
Mirrors are only useful to those who want bad luck and bloody knuckles, just sayin'.
NOT AS WE
I ♥ this song. No real video but the song doesn't even need one.
Hey errbody!
Okay well, byeeee errbody! :)
♥♥
♥
*cough cough*
Anyone home?
Hey RW
How are you?
Hi, Elena :)
Not bad. How are you? Have any plans for this weekend?
your heart said...
to Your Always, from July 20:
Dreaming of you, my love, and drowning in the scent of roses.
August 2, 2008 4:18 AM
Your Always said...
To Your Heart @ 4:18 ~
Oh my bright flame, you make me drunk on your words, and greedy, and impatient.
Quando, quando, quando...
August 2, 2008 8:56 AM
Anonymous said...
you did offer her your rose, and she answered your question
this is beyond ridiculous
August 2, 2008 9:39 AM
Anonymous said...
is Mayo in love with heart? O_o
August 2, 2008 9:57 AM
There is too much confusion going on around here. I will try to explain.
The "Your Always" I wrote to early this morning is not the person who answered me. I know how my love writes, and that was not it. The answer I received bordered on selfish and pushy. My love is neither.
My love and I had a conversation on July 20 that I was referring to, and it was "Your Always" that gave a rose to me.
"Your Always" is not Mayo. Neither am I.
The confusion seems to be based on the use of the word "always". So I would like to propose a suggestion to my love.
Perhaps you might use another name instead of "Your Always". As much as it does mean to me, I feel it would be less misleading to use another reference. Don't you agree?
You know how to find my words. I shall leave it for you to tell me how to find yours.
Thank you all for your attention.
Sorry RW I got distracted
No plans for this weekend. It's soooo hot here. I don't want to step outside the house.
How about you? Any plans?
I have tentative plans to meet witha couple of friends tonight who are in town from Vancouver. They've got their 2 year old son & 8 month old twins in tow O_o
vibratingtouch.com
O_O
A 2 year old and 8 month twins?
Wow, that could be interesting.
Yes, indeed! I may or may not hear from my friends tonight. They may be otherwise indisposed!
HELLO BLOGBELIEVE!! I AM BACK!!!
hi mayo!
hi SS!
you both good??
well can i say i missed you all loads??!
good...cos i so did!
we arrived back sandy and salty and disarrayed! got a shit load of washing (laundry) to do!! more than is even believable (seriously) but i am cracking on with it!
hope everyone is good and well. i haven't caught up....my apologies for that!!
hi elena and RW!! hope you are good?
RW avoid those people with those kids...it will cause a headache i promise!! (kidding!... well sorta!!)
elena i have been back reading! all caught up now!
hello anyone else around that i have missed!
Hi, FASC! :)
How was your trip?
Hey FASC
Glad you're back. I've missed you!
Sending you an e-mail soon. I need to know your opinion about something.
your heart said...
to Your Always, from July 20:
Dreaming of you, my love, and drowning in the scent of roses.
August 2, 2008 4:18 AM
Your Always said...
To Your Heart @ 4:18 ~
Oh my bright flame, you make me drunk on your words, and greedy, and impatient.
Quando, quando, quando...
August 2, 2008 8:56 AM
Anonymous said...
you did offer her your rose, and she answered your question
this is beyond ridiculous
August 2, 2008 9:39 AM
Anonymous said...
is Mayo in love with heart? O_o
August 2, 2008 9:57 AM
There is too much confusion going on around here. I will try to explain.
The "Your Always" I wrote to early this morning is not the person who answered me. I know how my love writes, and that was not it. The answer I received bordered on selfish and pushy. My love is neither.
My love and I had a conversation on July 20 that I was referring to, and it was "Your Always" that gave a rose to me.
"Your Always" is not Mayo. Neither am I.
The confusion seems to be based on the use of the word "always". So I would like to propose a suggestion to my love.
Perhaps you might use another name instead of "Your Always". As much as it does mean to me, I feel it would be less misleading to use another reference. Don't you agree?
You know how to find my words. I shall leave it for you to tell me how to find yours.
Thank you all for your attention.
Why would you want, or even need our attention?
hey RW and elena!!
RW the trip was alot of fun!! despite the very english weather!! the kids loved it and enjoyed hanging out with their cousins and cycling round the caravan site visiting all the family's caravans and eating junk. the grown ups enjoyed the fact that the kids were happy and we had fun evenings doing quizzes, chatting and drinking!!
the day's on the beach were alot of fun when it wan't raining. the kids all have wetsuits so they are able to enjoy it all with out freezing to death!!
elena email away!!
sorry this is brief guys but it's just a pop in to say i'm back! gotta crack on with the unpacking and laundry and we are all soooo knackered!!
great to be back though!
missed you guys!
mayo and SS you too!
edit
day's = days
obviously!
edit
wan't = wasn't
obviously!
nothing to do with
4:00 comment
overwhelmed
Hello
oo
o
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┃ ━━━━━ ┃ ┏┳┫┣┳┓
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stay high with weed
0_o
DA DADA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
*Ergoproxy walks in with 2 seconds and 4 firsts*
*draped with purple Champion Sweet ribbon*
*and with Most Successful Exhibitor voucher*
How is everyone?
*and the crowd goes wild cheering for Ergo......*
Congrats!!!!!!
Congratulations, Ergo!
thank you elena
and thank you anon
:)
I was pretty thrilled.
Obviously my chocolate fudge and rum balls are hard to beat, it's 4 yrs running they'eve gone first
(and I did have competition too lol)
Chocolate fudge and rum balls?
I hope you have enough so we all can try them.
Come on....pass them out.
*brings in plate with prize winning confectionery*
*places on Mayo's table*
*takes selection of nicest pieces*
*divides into 2 bags*
*writes "Mayo" on one and "SS" on the other*
*places them on mantle below portrait*
How are you elena?
do you have any weekend plans?
and you're well anon? any plans?
*takes a piece of chocolate fudge*
I'm doing okay, just trying to stay out of the heat this weekend and wishing my swamp cooler hadn't chosen this week to die.
No plans here other than to stay out of the heat...
It's soooo hot. I swear if one person says "you can fry an egg on the sidewalk" I'm gonna smack them.
oh I feel sorry for you, I hate being hot and not able to get cool
we have quite a warm day today
I thought last night would be freezing, they have a round of the PBR bullriding and fireworks from about 7pm and some years it's bitterly cold but last night it was ok (had long sleeves and a leather jacket on)
We stayed until about 10. Had to have one last ride on the Dodge'ems
How hot did it get for you Elena, it was 103 degrees and "fry an egg on the sidewalk" has been the choice phrase here as well.
Sounds like fun, Ergo. Man, I would give anything to feel cold right now. Cold temperatures are so much easier to deal with than triple digits.
Actual temp was about 98 but the heat index is 107.
Where abouts are you anon?
oh for sure!
At least when it's cold you can add more clothes.
Hottest we get in summer is (I have to convert)is about 107 F. But there can be occasional days it's hotter.
To the west it gets hotter but it's very dry, and I don't feel it as bad as here as it's usually very humid.
Coldest is about 27 F and it was that last week, but today it's beautiful.
Elena I remember a MAD magazine strip where someone snapped after everyone kept saying "Hot enough for you?"
I remember that one too, Ergo.
"Hot enough for you?"
I remember that one too, Ergo.
"Hot enough for you?"
That drives me insane. It feels like opening an oven door when you step outside.
We're under a heat advisory. Well no duh!
Just reading back I love the "You've been hanging out at Mayo's too long when..."!!
they are so true
I'd like to add
...when you are telling a story about someone and cannot for the life of you think of their real name.
...you now pay so much more attention to overseas news
...you start to actually say *sits on couch* or *throws pillow at*
Hey how come it posted part of my comment then reposted it with the rest?
I think blogger is having a heat stroke.
yeah we get bulletins to check the elderly and stuff in summer.
Our house was really bad until we put ceiling bats in as insulation.
The fans just blew the hot air down from the ceiling, you couldn't even lay your hand on it.
We are lucky though to have lots of windows and usually a breeze, we have A/C but don't turn it on often, usually only to sleep. One christmas a few years ago was ridiculously hot, thats why we rarely do roasts for christmas, eating cold meats or BBQ and seafood is what christmas is to me.
elena I think you may be right..
or maybe as it appears we are the only ones here, blogger wants to make it look like more people
Wants to make it look like more people....That's funny.
WHOOP WHOOP!
Long, pleasant day of swimming and partying with my training brothers and sisters, eating cake, and laughing till I had tears. As usual, spent most of the day with young Alex, a snarky, too-smart-for-his-own-good, seventeen year old brownbelt, and Beautiful Boy. For some reason it seems to be us together most of the day during these things.
Gotta get a shower, more later!
FASC! I'm glad you are back! We missed you!
Kapunua!
Glad you had a great time today!
Hi Ergo! Hi Elena!
Mayo,
O_o Where iz you?
SS!!!
Still missin' ya!
Okay, I'll be back in a bit.
Hey K and Smoke
Good to see you both...
Man, K said cake and it sounded so good. Between talk of all of Ergo's goodies and now cake my sweet tooth has been awakened.
*runs in and shouts WOO-HOO!!!*
CONGRATULATIONS ERGO!!!!!
*throws confetti, blows party horns, rings party bells, grabs Ergo by the hands and does a HAPPY, HAPPY dance with her*
Great work, honeybunch! And, well deserved, I'm sure! :D
I hope you're savoring the sweet taste of success!
*grabs Elena by the hands and twirls her around a few times*
Ooops, please excuse my bad manners. Hello Mayo, SS and everyone else around!
I hope you are all enjoying your day. It's hotter than hell here!
Sorry I can't stay and celebrate more with you, Ergo. I must be off!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
glad you had a great day K, pool and food are always fun
hi smoke!
I left some goodies out for Mayo and SS so it may draw them out of the woodwork
WwwwwwENDY!!!!
lol
*spins in HAPPY HAPPY dance!*
thank you :)
I'll post some pics in a bit, so you can see
*runs back in because I forgot to do this
*smooooooches* and
Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Save a rum ball for me, Ergo. I'll check out your pictures when I return. I bet they will be quite tempting! ;)
Hi Smoke!
Okay, now I am really off. Have fun everyone!
*blows kisses*
Wow was that tornado Wendy?
She blew in and out so quickly.
See ya later, Wendy!
Champion!
cowboys for TJ
fireworks
Nice pics Ergo...
But I really wanna sample those winning items!
Question for 4:00 anon. Just how long have you been writing to your love that you know their style so well? This is the internet. Anybody could be anybody.
Be nice.
Until it's time to not be nice.
Road House
Rules!
Yes, it does. ^_^
I've never seen Road House :(
Oh, you must! A very handsome Patrick Swayze kickin' some ass.
Very nice.
And I ♥ Sam Elliott.
And it had Jeff Healey in it.
^_^
I'll have to see if I can find it
have any of you ever seen the "Up " shows like "7UP, 14Up , 28Up " where they interview the same people at each age?
it's really fascinating to see how they change and grow up, and how some stay so much the same and others change dramatically
Hey, guys!
Just wanted to pop in, post, and say goodnight!
I might hang out on the porch for a bit longer.
Have a great night, everyone. Talk to you all sometime tomorrow. :)
Ergo:
Congratulations on your ribbons!
FASC:
So good to see you back! I, for one, missed all of your fucks. :)
Oh no, I haven't. I bet that is pretty cool.
Mayo,
I had a sort-of preface for this, but I read a quote a really long time ago that said prefaces were used by people who didn't know what they wanted to say about the thing they wanted to say stuff about, and it made sense, so...
Anyway, to make a long story short, I thought back to this post.
And then I remembered something that, more times than not, resurfaces and makes me think exactly like you did. Being where we are now, we can laugh about it and chalk it up to childhood, but back then, we were just kids with malleable hearts, hearts that could be crushed with a single blow.
It was lunch time, and this day, in particular, was a special day. There were two days out of the year where we were able to eat lunch with whomever we chose as long as we remained in our designated section, and this day was one of them.
Each section was comprised of two bi-fold tables that were to seat a normal-sized class, but you know how kids are. They want to sit with their friends given the opportunity, not some smelly boy, right? And of course this was the day to do it.
So, before we were to be dismissed for lunch, it was customary that everyone run around and say "SAVE ME A SEAT!" to the buddy they wanted to eat by.
I somehow ended up at the end of the line, I made my way through, smiled at the lady who had greeted me as I came in, then I looked out to a lunchroom full of my peers.
I made my way through the maze of tables and found the rest of my classmates, and I looked for the two or three who were to save me a seat.
But, there wasn't one, so I took a seat at an empty table in a section with students much older than me. I was constantly uncomfortable, and just, I don't know, maladjusted, but this was something entirely different. This was terrifying.
I can remember like it was yesterday. I sat there eating my creamed potatoes. I turned my chair the opposite direction from everyone else so they couldn't see me cry, and I tried to keep from looking down at my tray so my nose wouldn't run, because that would have caused me to have the sniffles, and then I would have been given away.
I think about that day often, and I can remember it in pretty vivid detail. And it's so pathetic that I can, but some things affect you, you know? They make you grow, but they affect you.
Anyway, just wanted to share since you shared yours, and tell you again how sorry I am that you got treated that way.
I hope you're doing well, Mayo. Maybe we'll see you around.
SS,
Doooooooood? Did you fall in? Bwuahaha.
I hope you're okay! Fingers crossed you are and you're just crazy bizzy.
See you around!
*My sincerest apologies for the length of the comment.
Goodnight Mayo! Hope you are doing alright. Ever seen Roadhouse? No? Check it out. :)
SS!!!
Like Mustard said, hope you are just really crazy bizzy right now and you are super happy. Wishing you all the best, dude.
Night BlogBelieve!
Sweet dreams!
Splash, I know that feeling too well. I would have sat with you and we would have listened to my walkman. ^_^
Mustard,
Thank you for sharing that story. I've had days on top of days like that. It's funny, the things we try the hardest to forget and bury are probably the things that helped make us who we are today, sometimes positive, sometimes negative.
I ♥ you and just like Jules said, I would've sat with you guys, though I probably would've been too scared to ask if I could've. In my eyes, everyone is always way cooler than I am.
You know what? Lifting babies is an excellent workout.
Solly, we would have ended up hanging out together anyway, somehow. No one would have had to ask each other, we would have more than likely just ended up in the library together or something, or hiding under the bleachers during pep rallies. ;D
WHERE'S MAH BLING?? O_O
*cough cough*
I mean hi, honey, I luv you, tru fax!
hello.
hey, congrats and thanks for the cowboys, ergo! *hee*
and i remember hearing about that "7up" series -- they were sociology documentaries, weren't they?
how's everybody doing tonight?
hey
Hi Tj *hugs*
Hi, TJ and BC *squeeze* :)
Mayo,
How'd you spend your Saturday? Mine was spent shoving stuff in boxes and trash bags and into the back of my truck and driving all the way out to my sister's house (she lives almost right next to my Mama) with the intentions of unloading all this shit in my old bedroom. But, I couldn't do it. I drove right back home with all that stuff still in the backseat. Why? One sigh from my mother and I just couldn't do it. I could not go out to her house and watch her watch me shake her life up. My failure at love and life reflected in her eyes. Looking at her, I would have to see me as I am right now. Let's put it off for one more fucking day.
This is certainly not the way things were supposed to happen and I know a year from now, or a month from now, or hell, even tomorrow, I might be grateful that this is exactly the way things turned out, but tonight, all I feel is fear and doubt and sadness.
Do you ever feel like you don't belong anywhere, Mayo? Like you never have and you never will.
Yeah, I guess should be used to it by now.
So, the question tonight is....White or wheat bread?
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Maybe the reason I always feel out of place is because I've never bothered to accept myself.
Have a good night, Solly :)
BlogBelieve,
G'nite and can you guys believe that it will be the 11 month anniversary tomorrow??
Yeah, me either.
Mwah! Mwah!
hey there bc, hi resurrected wreck.
good night sdock.
Are we gonna have a party tomorrow? Or are we waiting til the one year anniversary?
ME!
You
!
My mistake: ME!
Hi RW *big squeeze* how are you? :)
I'm good, thank you, BC :)
How are you this evening?
I got my hair done today ^_^
I always like to get my hair done.
Hey guys just wanted to tell you all goodnight...
I'm off for a Harley ride. It's finally cooled down just a bit and riding after dark is great.
Catch up all tomorrow..
Oh and
Night Mayo!
i'm jealous, elena! have fun. :)
resurrected wreck, did you get the twenties' style cut you were talking about?
Have fun & have a good night, Elena :)
It was kinda in a 20s style cut to begin with, but had grown back quite a bit. So I really just got it trimmed. It's a short A-line bob.
The cut is similar to this, TJ, but shorter at the back.
Enjoy the ride Elena, Goodnight and sweet dreams. Sorry about my absence RW, I had to do some stuff. Your haircut sounds nice :)
I'm doing okay, I decided to glue my eyes to a episode of Doctor Who(There was nothing else on)
And I'm gonna go download some songs
Hey everyone!
ERGO, CONGRATULATIONS!!! L and I both want to wish you happy joy (heeheehee) and say how proud we are of you! Your ribbons are so cool, and the fireworks looked like fire faeries. :D
I, on the other end of the scale, just burned Jello.
*closes eyes in frustration*
It exploded! I put the Jello mix in the boiling water, and it exploded! That's never happened before.
Wisely I decided to wait until tomorrow to tackle it again.
oh that's a cute style -- it looks very breezy. and do you look good in a cloche? :)
hi j. -- maybe the water was superheated?
Hi J, sorry about the jello. How are you? I hope L is doing better?
I forgot to say: Congrats on the ribbons Ergo :)
Hi, J :)
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