When I was young I was picked on quite a bit. The usual set of circumstances, I was an easy target (smart, quiet, odd, insecure) and once the kids found my buttons they didn’t relent. For a long time I tried to ignore them. I spent a lot of time reading because I thought that with a book in front of my face I would blend into the background. And, for a while I did. From behind those first books I developed my love of the written word. Beginning with the marvels I found in the library and then later the stories I found in my own head. My need to escape elementary school torment helped foster my imagination, I suppose. I need to thank those kids for that.
So anyway, a few times the kids pretended that they wanted to be my friend. A kid would ask if I wanted to hang out on the playground either at recess or after school. The first couple of times I bought it. It was a pathetic display of desperation that, looking back now, makes me laugh. You can see that kid, right?...very awkward, over-filled book bag, disheveled clothes, greasy hair, hopeful smile. I would wait for my friend to show up and of course they wouldn’t and I would eventually trudge home. Sometimes they would gather somewhere along my route and give me a hard time shouting “Who were you waiting for back there?” and “Did you really think we’d be friends with you.” It was worse when they would wait until the next day bringing my humiliation to school to share with the rest of the class.
Why am I telling you this? Well…insight I suppose and also to offer some context that you may draw from for those times when I seem a bit vague (yes, really). I have had to overcome and still battle with some pretty substantial trust issues. Always present in the back of my mind is the voice telling me to watch out for anyone who gets too close because they probably have an ulterior motive that will leave me in a rut. It has taken me a long time and years of therapy to be able to ignore that voice and share even my more simple weaknesses with friends (without the guise of fiction). And, so I share this piece of myself, my past with you.
p.s. I am not sure what you will glean from my palate but my gut holds plenty.
(Not at present: soon and I'll let you know when.)
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4,973 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2001 – 2200 of 4973 Newer› Newest»Hiya Mustard sweetie.
Snap. :)
You iz being funny.
E-Koms makes me think of Yaw Yikem.
Awwweeeee.
I decided today that people are evil.
And people are sheep.
People are evil sheep.
Hey again, MissT! Hey, RW!
Yaw Yikem. That day was so much fun.
Oh no! What's wrong, RW?
Oh, I slepped his name wrong!
It was supposed to be Yaw Yekim.
Jeez. O_O
Bwuahah!
We both did that! I didn't even catch it!
*cannot spell backwards very well*
Oh no RW!
*covers ears*
This shaun the sheep lover doesn't want to hear a bad word about sheep.
Gah! We iz cezy. Cezy!
I can do SS.
Watch this ---> SS.
Bwahahaha.
Nothing's wrong, S&V. I just find a lot of people I come upon casually to default to mean.
You're right, Miss T, that was a terrible thing to say about sheep!
Hey Ergo, MissT, Smoke, RW, Mustard, ...
Did I miss anyone?
Oh yeah, hello bed bugs you pesky little things.
People are mean, RW. I agree with ya. People in general are nowhere near as nice as they used to be.
:(
I agree with that, Smoke.
Hey, Elena!
I finally got around to cruising youtube for this.
It is in my opinion one of their best songs
When I saw Muse this was absolutely one of the highlights of the whole concert.The robots are fantastic !!!!! and for all the Muse fans out there and even anyone who is not, have a look it was seriously the most incredible audio and visual part of the concert.
Supermassive Black Hole live with the robots
the robot backing video alone
Supahmassive Black Hooooole
Hi Elena, EP, S&V, Mustard, anonymi :)
Oh, now that's all I can hear!
wow a lot of people arrived whlist I was youtubing!
hello mustard sdock RW
I do think a lot of people default to mean (love that phrase RW!) these days, they use stress as an excuse to just not bother being pleasant
Sheep are nicer than people RW.
Sheep
people
Troofax.
Sheep for the win.
Aww! Shaun knits!
Sheeps are fluffy.
People aren't really all that fluffy.
Isn't there a song called People = Sheep?
Or is that People = Shit?
-A
But, people do like fluffy sheeps, so...
I have no effing clue where I was going with this.
I think sheep are cute.
I'd go with People = Shit.
But that's just me.
Sheep are cute. They are almost as cute as unicorns.
Not quite though.
Last weekend I went with my sis to PC world cos she wanted a laptop.
Afterwards, I made her go into Toys R us with me.
I stood there in the middle of the shop surrounded by kids copying the igglepiggle doll do his dance.
Igglepiggle doll
Bwuhaha.
I'ma leave something on the porch for PPU.
I think they will love it.
I was copying the dance, not the kids.
I wouldn't let them get near.
Sheeps are fluffy.
People aren't really all that fluffy.
That's the truest statement I've heard all day.
I was copying the dance, not the kids.
I wouldn't let them get near.
HAHAHA!
LOL! MissT!
actually any of the youtubes of the tour visuals are cool, the big screens were a brilliant part of the whole presesntation, it's a shame you don't see a lot of it on HAARP
stockholm syndrome was brilliant too.
they gave a whole other dimension to the songs
~sorry having a MUSE morning :)
and sheep are a bit dumb though, but definitely superior company to a lot of people
I think I might have just turned PPU into a Rent-A-PPU. >.<
Bwahaha! PPU is gonna ♥ you for that, Mustard. :)
They will laugh-out-loud for sure.
and sheep are a bit dumb though, but definitely superior company to a lot of people
People are a bit dumb too! At least the ones I meet on the sidewalks of Toronto.
RW I think it's worldwide
Gotta head out for a bit. It I don't catch you all later, have lovely evening :)
Bye RW!
I gotta go take a shower. Be back later.
See you later RW and smoke.
Ergo, this is the next kids show I have to get you hooked on.
This is better than drugs.
In the night garden
I is outta here too.
Goodnight everyone.
Luv ya.
Hello everyone
*waves*
night Misst and I've seen that one we have it on here!
I think I'd need drugs to be able to get in the zone to watch it lol
sweet dreams
Hi Fim!
How are you alf, i havent spoke to yoyu in ages, so it seems.
struth it has been ages fim, I've been working hard at the Surf Club and now that I'm starting a bait shop with Ric I'm flat out like a lizard drinking
OMG alf
you make me smile so much, did you know that. every freaking time.
Go put a few shrimps on the barbie and i will be over in a jiffy to drink all your ale.
No worries Fim I'll get Leah to bake us a nice cake and Irene to put together some sangers and we'll go out on the Blaxland for a nice days fishing and a picnic.
Fim I will be lost during the Olympics with no Home and Away!
and it's set to end on a cliffhanger too!
stupid sporting type people
"When it started, it was a medium sized group of smart, aware, concerned, older (not old but older than the usual MCR fan), women with remarks of concern and wisdom, anger, disappointment. Fear and observations. Peopel worried but willing to forgive.
I don't know how many people still feel like that."
...............................
Yeah, I still do.
I'm not blind to what has happened to Gerard. I know there is something going on, and yeah, I worry about his ass. I was at 4 PR shows last year, two at the beginning of July and two at the end. Even in that short amount of time I saw the crumbling. I knew something wasn't right, I think most of us did. There were moments that I absolutely cringed, when he embarrassed himself on stage.
And all I could do was watch. And hope he got better. But he didn't. The videos, reports from shows afterwards didn't look good. Actually worse. The last shows were better, but something is still wrong.
I honestly do not care who he is married to, my only concern was the rumors of the drugging and drinking. As they say, "fell in with the wrong crowd."
Everything I was seeing and hearing, the interviews, the body language, the interaction between him and the other band members, it all seemed off.
I haven't seen or heard much lately, so I am in the dark as far as now. I would hope it is better, but I have a bad feeling that it's not.
Like I said, I worry about him. I want to scream at him until I can't scream anymore. I don't want to come on here one day and find that he's ODed, or been killed in a drunk driving accident.
I doubt he even knows what kind of gift he has, the ability to touch so many people with a song, with his voice. The idea of him becoming a pretty fucking waste is always in the back of my mind, and sometimes at the front.
Two moments stand out for me beyond all the others. The good moments.
One, Memphis, standing in the pouring rainstorm singing "FLW" at the top of my lungs with 200 or more people and meaning every damn word.
Two, Charlotte, talking to Gerard about the ratty old comic books I left for him in Columbus, and telling him they were rough looking because they had been mine, and that they were well read and well loved.
I saw the mask fall. Saw the real person behind those sunglasses, the glazed eyes or pin-point pupils.
He squeezed my hand and very softly said "Thank you."
If that person is still in there, I hope it's stronger than the demons pulling him away.
I hope and pray that's the case.
Every damn day.
L.
Have I ever told you guys about Camp Hero?
ergo, the last i saw of it, rik was getting into a fight and the riot police wasnt goign to show up, i never knew what happened to him. I now how sucky it is not to have it, you will have to fill me in. what is the cliff hanger?
If that person is still in there, I hope it's stronger than the demons pulling him away.
One of those demons is the women he married. An ex junkie can't be married to a junkie and not pick those habits back up.
But why worry about him?
Is it because everyone else in your life is living a content life at the moment?
Are the people in your local ghetto happy?
Are the flora and fauna we've been destroying for the past two hundred years... are they okay?
Why indulge in a hopeless fantasy of a person who really no different from anyone else on the planet? Yes, he has a gift for touching our emotions, but there are so many who truly need your assistance, your good will, your empathy.
Wow.
That is an interesting way to look at things.
Now is the time to recognize that each of us are capable of extending our love and compassion on a moment by moment basis.
Even those you don't like or respect... you are still capable of loving them.
Love isn't that swell of chemicals in the brain triggered by a need to reproduce. At least, not entirely.
Extend that concern you can feel for someone as easily as you do for Gerard to those you meet in the supermarket, those who cut you off on the highway, even those who hold values completely opposite to your own.
Doing this at every moment is just as much a gift to yourself as it is to those you extend it to.
L I agree with you completely
anon sometimes caring can be expansive enough to include all those things, why should someone not care and why do you assume the caring takes precedent over other things?
I assure you many people have the capacity to care about a lot of things actually relevant to their real lives, and still have room for a person who ,though they don't know them , they feel a connection with through the music, or their life and that goes for any person you may see on the TV or anywhere.
Mayo,
I hope you are happy and well tonight.
After damn near 11 months, you pretty much know what you're gonna get with me, right? I'm the "faithful heart", remember? I'm the one who always argues for the heart versus the head. Feelings and shit. Yeah, so that's me.
Well, tonight, can I be someone else? How can I turn this shit off? I don't want my heart to hurt. I dont' want to feel it in my gut anymore. I want to be able to look at this logically and hopefully. Plan for the future and all that jazzy stuff.
Right now, the pain in my chest, the twisted knot in my stomach, and the lump in my throat is kind of making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.
Ever been there, Mayo?
How the fuck do I let it all go?
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Time?
8:52,
No, everyone in my life is not content. And I worry about them too.
As for so many others who need the assistance, good will and empathy, go back and few pages and click on that link for Amnesty International.
I care about a great many people. If they have touched my life in someway, I do worry and care about them.
L.
By the way guys, I still have the Emerald tag, so that may pop-up. Just felt this should be under the Punks name.
L.
Love is not sacrifice. It doesn't mean you grovel in a soup kitchen every spare moment you have. It's not giving in to the demands of those friends and family we know who need constant attention.
We can express love in a myriad of ways.
And yes, I am no saint. But I love each of you, even when I passionately disagree with what you say or your perspective on a situation.
I am humbled by having the gift of the internet to have been given the opportunity to have each of you in my life, even in this small way.
After nearly a year of being here, maybe our combined efforts have somehow helped Gerard.
Maybe they haven't.
Maybe they've just helped us -- helped us sort out our thoughts, our feelings, our points of view, sort out ourselves.
Maybe they've helped other people who watched us here.
Neither I nor anyone else here can save that dude. Hopefully he has friends and family who can help him if he needs help, guide him if he needs guidance.
Jules, no, I don't remember you telling us about Camp Hero. Will you share?
it just astounds me that the assumption is that caring about Gerard is mutually exclusive to caring about any other people or things.
Extending your love and compassion moment by moment is a beautiful thing to do and I don't quite know why some feel people here aren't doing that already
Anonymous said...
But why worry about him?
Because he seemed like a good person. And no one here wants to see him die.
Is it because everyone else in your life is living a content life at the moment?
No, but most of my personal problems are similar to what I see going on with him.
Are the people in your local ghetto happy?
No, and I do try to help them out.
Are the flora and fauna we've been destroying for the past two hundred years... are they okay?
Same answer as above.
Why indulge in a hopeless fantasy of a person who really no different from anyone else on the planet? Yes, he has a gift for touching our emotions, but there are so many who truly need your assistance, your good will, your empathy.
Than why try and help the people in my life, the ghetto and the environment. With the people who are in power now what hope to we have of making any difference. Just because I find the time to be vocal about him doesn't mean he is the only thing in the world that I have concern are empathy for.
Mustard, once again, I agree with you 100%. :)
well anon thank you very much, I hope you have been able to take away some good things to remember and add into your life
and I assure you that I care a great deal about alot of people and things in my life, but I still seem to have room to extend that to anyone I happen to be touched by
I hope you have boundless caring also
Thank you, Ergo. You said what I was trying to say in that last one. :)
8:57, I agree completely with you as well.
Goodnight, SDock. Sweet dreams.
L.
Right now, the pain in my chest, the twisted knot in my stomach, and the lump in my throat is kind of making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.
It's the second-to-worst feeling in the world, one I wish you weren't dealing with right now.
You know where we are if you want to talk, Sdock. We'll be here for you if you need us. Have a good night. :)
blogger = ass. Or maybe it is just this blog. because most of the problems happen here and not so much at the other blogs
Mib I think they have only helped us. Because the more I vent I find I am able to let go of that band just a little bit more.
Be right back, guys.
L.
sdock I really wish I could give you the strength to deal with everything, but I know you have it inside you. it's difficult and heartwrenching but you can make it through.
Trust in yourself and take comfort in your friends.
Sweet dreams
Runs in, outta breath. Just got back from Chineese buffet. Think I might barf! Cannot take me to those places.I dont even eat that much.We had fun.
Listen Elena, Ghost Hunters is on!
I gotta go watch it. Cant catch up on anything now. Must watch GHI.
I know it isnt the same as the regular GH, but its pretty good.
Andy is such a dork a cool dork.haha
L, that was touching what you said about Gerard. I think you meant Gerard. He is still in there. Poor man. Anything he does, did he does to himself.
Maybe he will snap out of it soon.
It does matter who you associate with. I feel for him and feel your concern. L try not to worry too much. He is a big boy, well, grown man and he (cant help but think he is still child like at times I know). Has to make his own decisions, good or bad.
Gotta go. I'll try to catch up later. Whats up with the sheep? Maybe I dont wanna know. Later everyone. :)
Thank so much, you guys.
Well, I'm going to tell you anyway.
I live on Long Island as you probably know, and one of our state parks that is not far from me (in the winter--in the summer it can take over two hours to get there and yes, most of us out here measure distance by the time it takes you to get there ;D ) is our very own X File, Camp Hero.
The rumors and conspiracy theories about Camp Hero are famous far and wide, and range from plausible (secret government projects--I mean we do have Brookhaven National Lab out here where they are creating black holes, and Plum Island where they are creating diseases,) to outright X Files-worthy (hidden UFOs, time travel, etc.
In short, it's our Bermuda Triangle.
Actually it's a state park, and you can go there to hike, swim, fish, bike, all that other good stuff.
But the main rumor that circulates about it has nothing to do with that lighthearted tourist stuff.
The main rumor about Camp Hero is its involvement in the famed Philadelphia Experiment. The site was originally meant to do experiments on military radar cloaking devices, hence the huge radar tower that stands stark against the sunset from the lighthouse. The USS Eldridge was its target. In the experiments with making ships disappear off the radar, the USS Eldridge was supposed to do just that, using Einstein's Unified Field Theory. (Einstein was a homeboy for a while, too. He lived on the North Fork of Long Island, in Southold.)
Except in October of 1943, it didn't disappear off the radar. It disappeared entirely from vision. No radar, no visuals, no contact, nothing. 40 minutes after its disappearance off Montauk Point, calls came in from a base off of Norfolk, Virginia, claiming to have sighted the USS Eldridge there. Shortly after, it disappeared from Norfolk and reappeared off Montauk.
No good urban legend ends there though, right?
According to the stories, the crew members were either dead--some found partially fused to the metal of the ship, some halfway through the hull, some cut in half--or were alive but violently ill, and insane.
And of course, survivors who have tried to write books or accounts of their experiences in the Montauk/ Philadelphia / Rainbow project all died mysteriously.
Well, this is our own little X File, one of many, but definitely the most famous. Montauk Point is everything that a tourist spot usually is, but Camp Hero is for the freaky locals and the curious myth hunters.
And yes, of course, I have been there a few times, too. (Once on Halloween, dressed as the Angel of Death. ^_^ ) There are warning signs all around the radar tower that trespassers will be prosecuted, and there are gates and locks all around it, but of course those gates have been long crashed and everyone has been up to the radar tower. October is the best time to go, of course.
Sometimes I feel like I want to go back there and do more poking around. Maybe this October I will again. :)
Just wanted to share that.
I wanna go with you, Jules! ^_^
Wow, okay, while I was rambling, stuff happened.
I absolutely agree, 8:52/8:57.
There are other gems.
Princess, seriously, I'm telling you guys: ROAD TRIP. :D
Sdock,
Find a secluded area or just your home when no one else is there.
And scream. Thrash. Convulse.
No matter what friends and others may tell you or how you turn to them for support, it will all just be a distraction till it is purged out of you.
Scream.
And Solly, I am really sorry for what you're going through. I know that doesn't make it better, but for what it's worth I am really sorry and I hope that this part will be over soon and you can be happy again. :)
SWA, is that you?
Alrighty, I'm off to bed.
Anon,
I just wanna say thanks for that. I do agree with you. I think that he is worth worrying about and I do hope he's okay but there's not a whole lot that I can do about it. So yeah, just thank you.
Mayo, SS and everyone else have a lovely night!
Sweet dreams!
They have to explain what an EVP is. We know what an EVP is by now!
Yuk! My dog came in here to say Hi, she's so excited we are home gave me a present, she farted! She stinks to high heavens. Whew!
I am so outta here!
Scare tactics on after GHI. Ok? Ok.
Very cool and funny show too. Watch it. Its good. Out for now.
Road trip! EEEEEEEK!!! That would be awesome.
And screaming does make you feel better. ^_^
Alright, gone for real!
Night!
9:13,
I wish I had a quiet place, but I don't have one tonight.
Still, I think you might be right.
Jules,
Thank you.
♥♥
sorry fim lost my train of thought
Ric came out of it ok
viv lost the baby and her husband went to jail
don't know what the cliffhanger is yet
And Splash, I think you're right in a way, too! I think that the venting and ranting helps us, too.
Gerard reminds me sometimes of people like Layne, Kurt, all those others. I mean, well as far as Layne went, he never really became maddeningly conceited or mean to people; he honestly was a nice guy up till the end (that I'm aware,) but everyone around him was all "OMG UR SO AWESOME" till he disappeared and then even still, most people were just like, "He can take care of himself, he's got family and friends who care for him, he's so not on drugs, he would never do that to himself again, to consider it would be ridiculous" and making dumb excuses for his erratic behavior.
I sometimes think that if someone would have just rattled his chains, just busted down his damn door and said, "That's it, enough" things might have been different.
But Gerard, you know, the fangirls will cheer him to the end. It's dangerous.
Night, Smoke!
Aaaaand, me getting 2100 at 9:18.
♥♥
(missed you)
You know who else was a homeboy and set up his research on Long Island, too? Nicola Tesla. He was on that project. (His company was based in Shoreham though, which is where I train. :D )
Aww Anon @ 9:00.(Commercial) That is a true sentiment. No one should "grovel" in a soup kitchen.
Some family and friends do require much attention.
Yes, love can be shown in a myriad of ways. Everytime you get a chance, please do so. Dont pass that opportunity up.
Man, I missed alot. I will have to come back and read properly when I have time.
Later, yeah for like the third time! Its on.I'm out. I am.
Sollybear ♥s PPU.
Just sayin it because it makes me smile.
9:00, are you Mayo?
Hi and bye BI
hi ♥♥
Gah, I was about to say, "Sollybear and PPU" killed the blog!
9:00 sounds like Mayo don't it?
highly doubt it. doesnt matter
whoever they are sounds as if they need reassurance too
and it has been acknowledged and responded to :)
I'm getting yelled at now. damnit
ok, for real. laters. stop catching my eye. closes eyes and leaves
I'm so behind.
Because the more I vent I find I am able to let go of that band just a little bit more.
You have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself from giving up altogether.
You and me both, Mustard
mustardisbetter said...
Because the more I vent I find I am able to let go of that band just a little bit more.
You have no idea how many times I've had to stop myself from giving up altogether.
July 30, 2008 9:38 PM
I think it is better if I just find a way to move on. Even if things go back to the way they were it won't be the same.
if it was Mayo he usually alters his profile so we know
Oh sdock. I understand you heart hurts. Believe me when I say I do, I know what it feels like.
You will go through stages and it will get better, a little at a time. Everyone is different, every hurt is different, every heart heals differently. Its ok to hurt and get angry and feel sad. Please dont think you are alone, you arent.
Wish I could give you a real hug and not an internet one. Thats all I have for now.
*hugs sdock hard* even if she likes it or not! bwhaha
made ya laugh. yeah I did (a little)
Commercial over agh!
I don't know what to do.
And you're right, MJ, it won't ever be the same.
I don't know, I mostly blame myself for it. I should have just bought the music.
Never give up, never surrender!
BI,
Thank you. *squeezes back*
All of you guys have been so amazingly supportive.
Thank you again.
mustard it's a choice only you can make
but you don't have to make it right now
I see it this way. If that wasn't what he believed in than he never should have said he did. I don't think you should blame yourself for believing in the message.
sdock I have always said you are a strong, talented woman.
Perhaps now is your time to shine. Move ahead, start over and take control of your life.
SS,
Do you have a cure all for a broken heart?
It's really hard, and I pretty much flip-flop daily.
Fuck it, it's just a really hard position to be in, that's all there is to it.
You don't want to give up on it, but it's hard to look back and see how it is we got here.
sdock10 said...
Do you have a cure all for a broken heart?
July 30, 2008 9:49 PM
Rent a movie you really love. Pig out on junk food. Than cry until you feel better.
Time.
I know you didn't ask me, but still. :)
Awwh, I just love you guys so much. You are the best bunch of folks.
Mayo, do you see this shit? They are taking poor pathetic Solly and helping her heal her broken heart!
BlogBelieve is MAGICAL!
I'm back. Mum called and good news, the baby bunny is still going, and apparently doing great!
He/She has ate tons of clover and is drinking the water in the bowl, and as Mum put it, is "dancing around inside the box." They are going to keep it for a while until it is big enough to fend for itself a little more.
It could be on it's own now, but it will have a better chance of outrunning predators if it's a little bigger.
Martha, Mustard, it is true that no matter what happens, the band will never be the same, but it doesn't mean it can't be good in a different way, maybe even a better way. Nothing stays the same, but we can hope for more.
L.
Elena,
I know how you feel.
And it sucks.
L.
Mib it is a little easier for me. I can't listen to the music anymore. I want to but it just doesn't feel the same anymore.
For Sdock:
Broken Heart
I’ll start this broken heart
I’ll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before
Then I’ll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that’s yet to come
Fingers crossed there will be love
But I get carried away with every day
And every fantasy
The deeper the wound,
The harder I swoon and wish that that was me
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I’m getting used to it
You have to get used to it
I’ll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They’ll never guess what’s not inside
I’ll express myself with ease,
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed, they’ll talk to me
But I get carried away with every page
In every magazine
The cheaper the thrill,
the deeper I fill my head with blasphemy
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I’m getting used to it
You have to get used to it
I’ll destroy this useless heart
I’ll fuck it up so it’ll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone
But I get carried away
With every phrase and made up malady
The longer I hide behind these lies,
The more I disintegrate
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
You never get used to it
You just have to live with it
Time is a good answer, too. :)
for sdock
SDock,
Remember one thing. You do not need a man or anyone else to validate who you are. Just be true to you, and be strong.
L.
L the problem for me is this, I don't think I can every believe anything positive that is said by GW. It was to easy for him to throw it away.
Martha,
That is something I can't answer. I just know what I saw. I don't want to give up.
Somedays it's hard not to.
L.
oh L that is great about the bunny, it's a lucky little thing to have been found by your parents
I still believe...
Things can change in the blink of an eye.
Sometimes the change is good, sometimes not but still...
The person deep down inside is still there. And I believe that person is good.
We all go through rough times.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring
Mustard, Ergo, L,
Thank you guys too!
Chocolate milk works miracles too!
Just sayin!
Thanks, Ergo. And the coolest thing, their dog BROUGHT it to Dad. He was on the porch and he couldn't see what the dog had in it's mouth, until he got to Dad and dropped it at Dad's feet!
Not a scratch on it!
L.
BlogBelieve,
Thanks again! Love you guys!
Sweet dreams to all except Ergo and I wish her and Meg a wonderful day!
Mwah Mwah!
maybe the dog is a good samaritan too
any other dog would probably have munched it
SDock,
listen to "You're Breakin' My Heart" By Harry Nilsson
thanks sdock I'll tell her! :)
Sweet dreams sdock
Ergo, he's been around the cats since he was a puppy and they pretty much set him straight on attacking smaller critters. :)
I don't know why he chose to bring the bunny to Dad, but I'm glad he did. Mum is really taking to it. She decided to call it "Pennywinkle".
I have no idea why.
L.
i find it quite easy to not give up on him.
but as i'm pretty sure i'm one of the minority, i'll keep my mouth shut on ths topic.
and hello, blogbelieve.
Hi Tj
not that small a minority
Pennywinkle! how cute!
Leaving for the night, guys. I will talk to you tomorrow.
Mayo, SS, It is all about the love. It has to be.
Sweet dreams, guys.
And Mayo, if that was you in the very early morning, tell him in person.
Love you,
L.
hello ergo. sometimes it seems like it, here at least.
how are you?
goodnight and sweet dreams L
I'm good TJ, you?
Night L
Talk to you later
I now turn a deaf ear to those who say that there will be other bands like MCR, that there will be other bands just like this one, because there won't be.
And I'll give you two reasons why:
1. No other band will bring people together like this band did us.
2. No other band will make me hear music the way this band did.
If and when this road ends, and though it will take time to do so, I know I will be able to look back and see, and feel, all of the good times.
Everything will be fine.
Goodnight, Mayo. Goodnight, SS. Goodnight, BlogBelieve. Talk to you all later.
Anima:
I hope you're doing well, I hope your family's doing okay.
good night, l. sweet dreams.
things aren't too bad, ergo. :)
I kinda disagree, Splash. For me, anyway, there were bands that were like MCR in the past. That were life-changing, or brought new people into my life, or put me into new situations I would have never imagined. Or taught me things I didn't know or made me think of things I otherwise would not have thought. Or who made me feel like the things I was thinking and going through were, if not normal, than at least I wasn't alone.
There were a few, and there will probably be a few more. For me, anyway.
Everything will be fine.
I remember thinking that, too.
goodnight mustard sweet dreams
hey there, kapunua. that's cool, what were they?
I can honestly say I don't believe I will ever feel the same about another group.
I found MCR at a very, very rough time in my life. For reasons unknown the music clicked with me. Made me want to stand up and go on. I was ready to give up.
I like lots of other groups but none will ever be as special because of this. I am a stronger person now. I’m not afraid to be me. I will always carry a debt of gratitude to them for that.
i feel much the same way as you do, elena. i've never had another band affect my life like this.
I'm with you on that, though I love MCR's music along with other similar bands , some of their songs were really good to have during a difficult period, partly for vocalising my thought and feelings to allow me to recognise them and partly for just being damn good songs that made me feel good
Hey TJ!
Well, when I was in high school, I fell in love with a bunch of bands. But the ones that gave me the chills and made me want to play guitar were Megadeth and Iron Maiden. And both bands spoke to me and appealed to me, lyrically. Megadeth spoke of when I was angry, betrayed, confused, basically everything a teenager goes through. And Iron Maiden inspired me through their dark imagery and Bruce Dickenson's soaring voice. Like, madly.
WhenI was sixteen, I fell in love with John Lennon. I mean, not only the music, but his writing, his wit, his outlook, his humor, everything. The Beatles were, and are, huge for me.
Later on in high school, Pink Floyd grabbed me by the throat, and to this day Dave Gilmour has not let go (and neither has Syd Barrett. His death crushed me.) Pink Floyd was also my inspiration and my solace. Syd Barrett made me want to write, to create worlds. Dave Gilmour, well oh my god, if ever a human being had mastery over the guitar, so much so that he could coax and wring every emotion out of two or three notes, it's Dave Gilmour.
When I got into college is around when Nirvana and Pearl Jam broke.
Now, Nirvana opened the door to not only a whole different kind of music, but a whole different outlook on the way the music business was handled. Kurt Cobain was the ultimate snark bastard reject, but he was a devout, outspoken feminist. He was passionate about women's rights, and about the rights of minorities. He screamed about injustice, not only in his music, but in interviews. This was a dude who was saying, at a time when it was uncool to say, "You know what, I hate the way heavy metal objectifies women. Punk is going against the grain."
Kurt was another one who was supposed to be "all right," and when a few people saw that he wasn't, their opinions were shot down. "He can take care of himself! He's happy!"
Following Nirvana through the open door was Pearl Jam, and this was a band whose music could bring me to tears just by its beauty! Pearl Jam was also political, and they were socially aware. I was a dumb kid just interested in listening to music and doing some writing back then. There are things I didn't know about the world till Eddie Vedder told me. :)
They opened the door to a world of music that eventually became a community for me: Alice In Chains (you know how that ended,) Soundgarden, Tad, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, and countless others. When I lived in Seattle I would go see a concert just about every week. It was a community.
I remember those times as total discovery. I remember listening to Pearl Jam's "Oceans" while at the ocean, getting my bodysurfing gear on. Thinking that there could never be another Pearl Jam, as I had forgotten thinking that there would never be a band I loved as much as Pink Floyd, having forgotten that there would never be a band I loved as much as I had loved Megadeth.
A few years ago, 30 Seconds to Mars came along and was life-changing. MCR, TBS, The Used.
It's all cyclic.
*gives blog some toffee*
*reading back*
If that person is still in there, I hope it's stronger than the demons pulling him away.
That person is still there. He's still fighting.
-A
Only two bands have had a major impact on my life.
The Smiths-24 years ago
MCR-1 year ago
I have loved and listened to many others throughout my life, but these are the ones that spoke to me.
I guess the point is that every few years I find a band that's like my Camelot. Sometimes Camelot falls and sometimes it doesn't, but I eventually do feel that connection again. For me, products come and go, but music is eternal.
That person is still there. He's still fighting.
How do you know? You don't even know if there is anything for him TO Fight. Maybe he is happy. You seem to think you know a lot about Gerard and Mayo and what they both think and feel.
♥♥
(really)
actions speak louder than words
Hallo Lovelies!
What'd I miss?
-A
that's very very cool, kapunua. i have to admit, music has always been a part of my life, always been something i turned to (especially as teenager, of course), but mcr is the first band that has come to mean more than just music to me. they get me out of my comfort zone, repeatedly.
that's so great that you have so many you can call on, and such good bands too.
Hey Amy
What's new?
Goodnight
It is cool. ^_^
MCR wasn't groundbreaking, I think, musically and personally. Most of the things that Gerard said, Kurt Cobain had already said. "The Black Parade" could be "The Wall" mating with anything by "Queen." Lyrically, Gerard never touched on anything that was 100% new to me.
That is not to say that they weren't one of the best bands I'd heard, and I firmly believe that Revenge is among the top five albums pretty much of the entire decade.
The first I heard of MCR was I'm Not Okay, and I watched the video on youtube. Cried, literally. In tears like a little emo bitch. I thought, "These guys get it. They are special." Not new, not groundbreaking, but special in the way that other bands had been special to me and had grabbed me by the throat.
When I read up on them some more, it seemed like Gerard had taken up Kurt Cobain's torch. He was saying all stuff that Kurt had already said, but it was stuff that needed to be said, and no one else at the time seemed to be saying it.
But, you have to mean those things, you know? And I think that if you do mean them, you don't just change suddenly. I mean, your entire moral compass doesn't just turn south overnight.
Ah well, but my point is that I know by now that there will be other bands. And I can't wait, because I love when I find something new that grabs me by the throat. :D
bands I loved who altered my outlook on life for a wide variety of reasons:
(in no particular order)
Pink Floyd
Supertramp
The Who
Kiss
Mike Oldfield
Abba
The Mamas and the Papas
Joe Satriani
David Bowie
Split Enz
more recently
Muse
MCR
however I often felt a lot of affinity with particular songs, my album (and I mean vinyl) collection is full of compilations which contain songs that I loved.
I have a very eclectic mix of music but they all spoke to me at one time or another for whatever reason.
There are of course many others but they have been the soundtrack of my life and I am forever grateful to the artists who have given me that gift
Goodnight MJ!
Elena, just perusing the gossip comms. Soap Operas have gotten weirder and weirder over the years.
-A
What soaps do you watch, Amy?
♥♥
:)
Oh Ergo....
David Bowie....YES
hello.
the first time I ever heard of My Chemical Romance was when their first album came out. My brother bought it for me. My brother and his friends loved them because they were from Jersey. I remember them always asking me if I wanted to go to a My Chemical Romance concert. I wish I could go back and say yes. They are so huge now, I would like to go back in time just once to see them when they were just beginning.
hello Amy
oh and I should add Skyhooks and ACDC
and I'll think of half a dozen others as well
but I'll stop now
♥♥
:)
♥♥
hi SD
you know the song I love of that album was Headfirst for Halos
it still gets me as such a quirky brilliant song
Oh man, and i also looooved David Bowie! And T Rex, too!
Ergo, Headfirst is such a fantastic song; you're right, it is brilliant. "Bullets" is brilliant.
hi ergoproxy, mine was and still is "This is the best day ever," but I also like "Drowning Lessons,"
Hallo Ergo!
Elena, I don't watch 'em, but the rags reveal plotlines ahead of time, and some of them are pretty wacky! Remember Passions? Wow!
-A
♥♥!!
:D
♥♥!!
-A
for me, mcr literally have helped me transform my life. no other band, no other type of music has done that. so no matter what bands i discover in the future, no matter what music makes me feel alive, they will always have a treasured spot in my life and my memory.
but i do appreciate a wide variety of music. i'd bet my record collection could have rivalled your's at one point, ergo!
as much as i try to, i'm just not able to understand why they don't have that impact on you anymore, kapunua. and i mean no offense, i just truly can't see it. i've been worried about gerard, and wonder about the state of the entire band, but i've never lost faith in them.
Headfirst for Halos - My favorite....
Damn I love to crank it up loud
One time I fell asleep wathcing FUSE and when i woke up I heard this song playing so I turned to the television and I saw people dancing around in a church and I saw this girl dancing around in a church, at first I was a bit confused then it said 'My Chemical Romance,' 'Helena,' and i was so happy that they were on FUSE it was like this kind of local Jersey band on TV, it was pretty cool.
It's not just Gerard that makes MCR so amazingly different. There's four other guys in that band that comprise one of the most captivating forces in music.
Even though their back-ups are also truly talented and special, you can't compare the original lineup of five to, say, three and a couple of techs (I respect and admire Matt, no doubt, and James and any of the others that assisted). The PR shows we saw were with Matt on bass, and they were very good, but the three shows we saw this year with Mikey were even better.
There's an indescribably dazzling emanation they produce when those five men get together and play their songs. I can't use the word "magic" b/c that's too trite. It's...brilliance.
But it takes all five of them to create.
And yes, I too worry about Gerard. He's so gifted, so unique, and like L, I don't think he's aware of that. If he is, he doesn't give it much thought, probably. We DO compare him to Bono in that they both are so compelling on stage, so much bigger than life--but they don't see it. The ones with a true gift hardly ever do.
I don't want Gerard to come to any harm. Nor Frank, Bob, Mikey, or Ray. Or Matt, or James. Or the guys who drive the trucks. Or the guys who run the light boards. Or the sound techs...well, you get the drift. I don't want my friends, either here or in "real life", to come to any harm. That goes for my family, my doctors, my cats, my mailman, and my pharmacist.
Get the idea?
I'm not throwing in the towel on Gerard. He needs support now, more than before, and just because he may turn kind words and strong advice away right now, does not mean I, myself, will stop giving them. He's not irredeemable, he's not evil, he's not a bad man.
He's a human being, and he's in trouble. If I can help in any small, insignificant way, you better believe I'll do it.
I love the live version too
SD it would have been brilliant to see them early on, I have a friend who did.
♥♥
♥♥
♥♥
(so silly)
:)
hello J
and it would be great to get to see the full 5 over here, we missed Frank last year then Bob in Nov
Only time they were all over here was with Greenday and played little side shows I had no opportunity to get to
your friend's lucky ergo, my brother and his friends saw them and they talked about how great they were. Excpet he said it smelled bad, lol.
I got to go, sorry it's so early, bye everyone <3
as much as i try to, i'm just not able to understand why they don't have that impact on you anymore, kapunua. and i mean no offense, i just truly can't see it.
It's that boycott thing I've got, TJ. I can't support anything or anyone that treats women, minorities, hell, or animals cruelly. Once MCR took MSI out on the road it was over for me. I can't be giving MSI my money and that's what it amounted to. Then, when Gerard did that stuff with the girls in the audience, that was the "rape the dog" moment for me.
If you saw my house--or maybe, if you saw me go shopping, let's say--you would understand. I'm neurotic about where my money goes. I sometimes walk around with a list of companies that are cruel or exploitative. I can't shop at Wal Mart. No leather, no suede, nothing tested on animals, nothing from sweat shops, nothing from slave labor.
I boycott companies that don't treat women or minorities fairly.
Err, here's another example. This might explain it better. I thought the show Seinfeld was pretty funny. But after Michael Richards said all those racist things, I will never, ever spend a dime on anything having to do with him. So I will never buy any Seinfeld DVDs or anything like that.
I obviously can't boycott everything because that would be ridiculous. (I'm aware that Edison "tested" electricity on elephants who were deemed "bad" and I can barely even consider the image that gives me, but I can't very well not buy light bulbs. ;D ) But I can't not do my best. I fail a lot of the time and I'm sure my meager amount of money goes to a lot of people and places that I don't want it to go. I buy gas, I sometimes buy medicine (but rarely.)
But it's hard for me to knowingly give my money to things that degrade or exploit others.
That's the only way I know how to explain it.
I am quite far behind, just wanted to say thank you to whoever (I think Ergo?) for the Dark City rec, I really enjoyed it. Okay, catching up now, and hoping this comment isn't some weirdness in the middle of something.
And also, keep in mind: I've been down this road before with the Doomed Rock Star thing. And sitting there going "I have faith in you" accomplished absolutely dick.
Hey everyone
Night Silence
Sleep well
oh you watched it carrie!
(it was me)
Isn't it good!
it was filmed over here too.
bye SD have a good night and tomorrow
I'm also not convinced that Gerard is "doomed" or "in trouble" or anything at all just now. Seems to be living it up. Who am I to try to save him?
me
oh well,
there is always 2400 lol
^_____^
I'm going to have lunch, back in a while
I like having faith in people.
I have faith in Gerard because even though rumor had it that he was a complete trainwreck last summer, he seems to be extraordinarily happy now.
He's doing something he loves instead of "taking time off" and vanishing completely. I respect him, and what he does because I can't get up on stage and sing in front of people. I also can't land a comic book deal and get myself published.
I like him, I think he's a great guy, and I have faith in him.
-A
*cha cha cha*
♥♥♥
*cha cha cha*
♥♥!
-A
First encounter with MCR: "Helena" video on On Demand. I'd heard of them, heard they were good, and I wanted to see for myself. So we watched it. And I was hooked.
Oh the video itself was splendid. Black, white, red, loud guitars, fantabulous vocals (all I could say was, "He sounds like Freddie Mercury!" who I absolutely love), beautiful editing, choreography, wow. It was all, wow.
They made me feel like the real, initial punk bands did. In your face, belligerant, loud, intelligent, REAL. They gave me spirit I hadn't nad in a long time.
MCR, U2, and Stevie Ray. Those are my heroes. My influences. My inspiration.
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