Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Slurry.

Let me tell you what it was like. Lying on a rack of a bed, the sweat from all of a sudden and a half minutes of sex still clinging to my naked body, I am no longer relieved. Instead, I am shaking (but it’s not cold). The blankets have fallen away and I don’t dare get up to retrieve them. I know that if I do I will not return to the bed. And it is all gone anyway, finished off an hour ago amidst impetuous greed and loud music. The others, the music, all of it was irrelevant to relentless want. The pattern repeated, ten minutes of synthetically induced exaltation followed by the entirety of my consciousness engulfed by its insufferable demands. Fake rapture.

And in that bed, everything I had poured down my throat to even me out is trying to make its way back up. Another reason to stay put, but I can’t sleep with my head twitching and an arm around my neck. So, I will pace. I sort of know the neighborhood, and because I do it will occur to me much later how fucking stupid I was. Not just because some desperate fuck could have put a gun to my head, or because it was way too much, or because I am not entirely familiar with the body in the bed, but because I will have to live with it.

Nevertheless, I am not thinking of that when I pull on my clothes and walk out the door. Swallowing hard and still grinding my teeth, my jaw is tired and my lips are chapped. My feet step ahead of me slightly, but I am keeping up. In order to slow my quick heart my breathing becomes forced, gasps long and slow. Think. Breathe. Walk. Walk. Walk. Think. Breathe. If I just keep walking it will go away, all of it…even the body in the bed.





p.s. yep that was the last and forgive me the past and present tension.

3,616 comments:

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DoveDarkChocolate(DDC) said...

Am,

I dated the same guy!

We went thru the drive thru at Burger King and after we pulled away he said, "Did you want something?"

I should have said, HELL YEAH Asswipe, go back, but well... different gal back then.

Sorry for the butt comment but poop has been a topic tonight. :-)

Vivienne said...

Really ergo? *Eyes well up with tears*
I'ma hold you to that! :P

Amyranth said...

DDC, that's terrifying.

I was hoping it was only one guy in a pool of many that didn't have his head screwed on right.

-A

Vivienne said...

Holy horse poo DDC!

what a dick.

DoveDarkChocolate(DDC) said...

yeah... :-( I know how to pick'em.

Gals, thanks for the warm welcome!

I am off to sleepy land. Have to be up early for work.

I really enjoyed reading and chatting tonight.

Night.

Anonymous said...

True anon at 11:41. If it gets them through the day that's pretty sad. It's not like he is going to leave Jamia for them.

And I HOPE that SS doesn't leave the blog because of this thing with people insisting he is Frank and saying they have a "special connection" with him. From what I understand SS hates exclusive stuff like that.

Amyranth said...

Ugh. Work.

Way to remind me DDC.

-A

ergoproxy said...

DDC I would have just stolen his food

CC classic comment

ergoproxy said...

goodnight DDC sweet dreams

Vivienne said...

Goodnight DDC.

Ergo, thank you! I'm rather proud! ^-^

Original Punk J said...

*has fingers in ears to drown out Vulture-talk*

DOES ANYONE HEAR ANYTHING?

Oh, you dumbass anons. First, I don't want to have ANYONE'S babies. You should know that by now, you've been here as long as I have.

Somehow, I have a feeling you don't like me! *checks pulse* Gosh, I'm hurt.

And do me a favor, leave L out of it. I'm the one you want to fuck with, not her. She's not even here. And neither are any of the other people you've called out. So drop it.

You don't intimidate me. You don't scare me. You're not making me leave. People have their opinions about me already, whatever you say won't change their minds.

Not about me, anyway.

J

Original Punk J said...

Sorry about the rant there, girls. Had to let it out, but no more tonight.

Goodnight DDC! What a guy he was. Maybe he WAS the guy Amy dated...

CC, honey, this poo obsession is intriguing. Have you, uh, spoken to anyone about it? :D

Ergo, watch her around the horses. She's a little too eager, y'know what I mean?

So, what happened to FP? Did someone tip them over?

J

Amyranth said...

New Post.

-A

Amyranth said...

PWND! by J!

-A

Anonymous said...

ty

Anonymous said...

Helo my friend my still learning englisher but i like curry too

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