There are so many things missing, last night
Last week, and now quieted by irreverence
Two feet deep and thick with sickness
We are lost and no longer linger. Still
I can reason your denial in difference
Came upon you for thought, and mine
I must say thrust upon me in shame.
I shut my book to save your eyes.
Who is lost in plain sight can speak
As you have always claimed, in truth.
p.s. with an uncompromised view for any other is...well, it is compromised.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Art by: Toujours
No Contest
even if no one gets me, if i'm the only one laughing at my jokes, i won't hide myself away from life. it's uncertain and it's dirty and it's fucking exciting, and i want to be a part of all of it.
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
heart full
Today on my way home from class, I stopped off at the petrol station for some petrol. I paid on my card which wasn’t a lot, and then as I was getting into my car, I saw an old man walking past the building. He had a red and green stripy jumper which was frayed at the ends. He was also wearing some jeans that were dirty and had holes all over.
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
It helped.
Jennicula,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Blog header image by: Anima
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
something
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. If you've had a shitty day and you feel like people just don't want you to be happy, and when you find yourself struggling to make it through the day, just keep on believing and keep the faith. Also, from personal experience, don't push people away. When they say they want to help and that they are there for you, let them in. Believe me, I know how fucking scary that thought is, but don't shut others out.
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
Retro-spectacled
Sometimes, when you look back on stuff in your life, you know, the crap that makes you shake your head and say, "Holy shit, what the Hell was I thinking?" it's part of what makes you - you.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
aloft
Blazing against the sun
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
Electric Blue
…today I saw a ulysses butterfly it was in our yard and settled to feed on our hibiscus. They really are fantastically beautiful things, the electric blue is amazing, however as they sit with their wings closed they are rather nondescript and dull. Sometimes people are like that, from the outside they seem unappealing but within there hides an amazing beauty for those lucky enough to see it. I hope you appreciate beauty in all things, and look for it perhaps where others miss it.
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I read your post again and suddenly without warning memories of construction paper filled my head. I remembered all the lop-sided flowers my girls made when they were young. Bright blue, yellow and pink flowers that were cut out with blunt end scissors would fill the windows to decorate for Easter. An occasional bunny was attempted but those usually ended up looking like creatures from a horror movie. Flowers were so much easier. I can close my eyes and hear the paper being cut into petals. I can smell the Elmer’s glue squirted on in huge blobs to attach each misshapen petal to form the flowers. We had a huge arts and crafts box full of wonderful items just waiting for their imaginations to turn into something wonderful. In my mind I see my daughters, as they once were, small, blond little girls sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of paper and other art supplies. They would create their masterpieces then proudly show each other. Oh and Lord the messes that would ensue if the glitter made an appearance. Now, the box is forgotten. I’m not really sure where it even is anymore. The few flowers so lovingly created that survived are faded and dusty and high on a shelf they sit. Time marches on, so many things get left behind.
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
From the corner.
I wonder if you noticed
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
Thank You. Truly.
"This little world has grown around us, out of nothing, and it is a remarkable thing. Even the dark and dirty parts, the violent parts. Humanity will not thrive without passion."
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Uncondensed
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Character Advocacy.
"Don't ever pretend to be something you're not. You are who you are, and no one can change that. The people who don't like the real you are just gonna have to suck it. Don't take shit from anyone. Don't crumble. Throw a few birds, and walk on.
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Art by: Toujours
“I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.”
Jean-Dominique Bauby
Jean-Dominique Bauby
5,811 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3801 – 4000 of 5811 Newer› Newest»Oh no! Have I walked into a winter wonderland?
Well, at least the white stuff won't make my hair smell!
:P
Goodnight guys!
If you wanna hang out
You've gotta take her out
Cocaine
If you wanna get down
Down on the ground
Cocaine
She don't lie
She don't lie
She don't lie
COCAINE
If you got bad news
You wanna kick them blues
Cocaine
When your day is done
And you wanna run
Cocaine
She don't lie
She don't lie
She don't lie
COCAINE
If your thing is gone
And you wanna ride on
Cocaine
Don't forget this fact
You can't get it back
Cocaine
She don't lie
She don't lie
She don't lie
COCAINE
Carrie!!!!!!!!!!!
I come in and everyone has to leave *pouts*
I've missed you; but, I understand. You must get your beauty sleep!
Goodnight and sweet dreams, Carrie!
Why all the COCAINE lyrics?
You forgot Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash. Just saying.
Beauty sleep for me would require like, a six month coma. This is just functional sleep!
fair enough anon, but do you think he'd care? or notice?
Hi every one!!!
Just popped in to say good night.
I have most of my bags packed for this weekend and my house is a mess trying to find everything and not to leave something I'll need later.
Damn i hate long trips.
Any way!
I will try to get online tomorrow night.
Blows kiss to everyone here!
Maybe Mayo will throw me a going away party this weekend.
What was that....NOPE!'
I'm not going to hold my breath, by the time he gets to this post of mine i will be on a flight and gone.
But Mayo i love ya anyway!
Night everyone!
Did you post white lines. love that song.
couldn't sleep so I stop back by hello 6 and Ph. And Goodnight I am going to try to sleep again
Goodnight
night PJ have a great time and a safe flight
goodnight again MJ sweet dreams
Hi PJ! Good to see you! Packed? Where are going? I suppose I should read to find out ;)
Have a safe trip, PJ!
Anon: Perhaps now would be a good time for prayer....
Pray For Me
SIXX A.M.
She lights a candle, but she doesn't know why.
She wants to save me, but i'm barely alive.
My soul is thirsty. I just wanna get high.
Make her go away.
[Pre-Chorus]
Now i'm hitting the wall and she begs me to quit,
And she drags me to church but i'm scared to commit,
And i'm loosing my mind 'cause she hides all my sh**.
She wont go away.
[Chorus]
And all I ask of her is
Pray for me,
'Cause I don't want to
Pray for me,
If you love me.
Cross your heart and hope that I wont die before the best day of my life.
Just pray for me tonight.
[Verse 2]
I dragged myself out of the bed that she made,
And I escape her in a black motercade
She's pushing bibles and a clear bill of health.
I can't make her go away.
[Pre-Chorus]
Now i'm hitting the wall and she begs me to quit,
And she drags me to church but i'm scared to commit,
And i'm loosing my mind 'cause she hides all my sh**.
She wont go away.
[Chorus]
And all I ask of her is
Pray for me,
'Cause I don't want to
Pray for me,
If you love me.
Cross your heart and hope that I don't die before the best day of my life.
Just pray for me tonight.
[Electric Solo]
[Final Pre-Chorus and Chorus Combo]
Now i'm hitting the wall and she begs me to quit,
And she drags me to church but i'm scared to commit,
And i'm loosing my mind 'cause she hides all my sh**.
And all I ask of her is
Pray for me,
I don't want to
Pray for me,
If you love me.
Cross your heart and hope that I don't die before the best day of my life.
(Pray for me tonight)
Pray for me
(Pray for me tonight)
Pray for me
(Pray for me tonight)
Pray for me
(Pray for me tonight)
Pray for me
(Pray for me to- )
Goodnight ep
Hi Martha! Goodnight Martha!
I hope you find the sandman this time around.
Ergo, are you still here? Where is everyone?
Hellooooooo......
*hears echo*
Scary!
Nothing I can show
that isn't already inside
a droplet of purity in an
ocean of filth
and metaphor,
eyes-deep in sound
of raw aesthetic,
already truly
the gods made thee
poetic.
Now to the nameless.
Me: ridiculing verse along
with the clowns
the stage:
a screen,
I laugh along with them
and oh,
lay it on with a trowel
and to wit,
I make thee away
when you get too deep
and truth:
we have seen better days
I will laugh like a hyena
when you are inclined to sleep.
here's an interesting quiz
sorry wendy I was doing that quiz it's "rate your life"
mine came out pretty well
Well, since I seem to be all alone......
*puts dvd in player*
Bleed Well from Digital Versatile Doom
^a MUST HAVE for music lovers^
*big smile*
Ohhhh.....a life quiz! I shall go take the quiz now, honeybunch.
I hope I pass! ;)
The 'Are You a Compulsive Test Taker?' Test
I think you girls might need this one. ^_^
Haha! Thanks anonymous! I think we already know the answer to THAT one.
;)
What the heck. We could be wrong!
*goes find out what conclusion the quiz/test experts come to*
You scored 23 from a possible 36 on the 'Are You a Compulsive Test Taker?' Test! That means you are not too bad. Everyone needs a competitive streak in them. You are motivated, but not overzealous. Good job.
thanks anon
Another gazhal tonight, no more ballade
as I try to burn away where others have trod
I'm nowhere tonight or perhaps in the shadows,
if you can hear me all you have to do is nod
It no longer sweeps fingers over your heart
I no longer try to push past this prickly facade,
yet I’m the one with the sword and the sight,
a guard or sorts here and a lightening rod
but I'm still at my loom here singing my songs,
and the mirror has cracked--do you find it so odd?
My songs are of blossoms and light and my dreams,
of water and darkness and the seeded winged pod,
and often I wonder still during the sun:
are you the many evening’s weeping dark god?
Hush and hide the talking and never mind me:
the others might lurk and the Weaver won't prod.
*shock*
Are You a Compulsive Test Taker?
You scored 20 from a possible 36 on the 'Are You a Compulsive Test Taker?' Test! That means you are alright! Your will to compete in trivial and meaningless tests is slim or next to none. You can sit around like nobody's business. Congratulations.
Ergo: I suppose we're only compulsive test takers in blogbelieve! ;)
yeah I just do it to waste time while i'm on line.
WHEW! I passed the LIFE quiz too, Ergo.
I scored a 7.8 in life!
:P
lol though i'm more compulsive than you!
That is very nice K/Weaver girl.
yay! I was an 8 and it asked me to say why my body score was lots higher than average.
I said because i was told to get fit or possibly face surgery
Not by much, Ergo! ;)
You probably still do those crossword puzzles, right? I gave up on them long ago!
YIKES! My body score was the only below average rating I had.
LOL, I really should quit smoking and get more exercise!
Oh no! What kind of surgery were you threatened with? I never knew that.
i love crossword puzzles, i buy the collections (not cryptic though)
about 2 yrs ago I partially busted a disc in my back, and had physio then joined the gym to get my muscles stronger, since then i have very little back pain, i used to have sciatica etc
Anonymous said...
The 'Are You a Compulsive Test Taker?' Test
I think you girls might need this one. ^_^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anonymous: I would like to know what your results were.
;)
That's wonderful, Ergo!
Not the busted disk part of it; but, the fact that you were determined to help yourself - and did! HOORAY for will power!!!!
i should have done it sooner! lol
*wonders if anyone would mind if I put on some Nightwish*
Hmmm.....
*doesn't hear any objections*
Bye Bye Beautiful
If anyone would like to sing along:
Bye Bye Beautiful
Nightwish
Finally the hills are without eyes
They are tired of painting a dead man’s face
red with their own blood
They used to love having so much to lose
Blink your eyes just once and see everything in ruins
Did you ever hear what I told you?
Did you ever read what I wrote you?
Did you ever listen to what we played?
Did you ever let in what the world said?
Did we get this far just to feel your hate?
Did we play to become only pawns in the game?
How blind can you be, don’t you see?
You chose the long road, but we’ll be waiting
Bye bye, beautiful
Jacob`s ghost for the girl in white
Blindfold for the blind
Dead Siblings walking the dying Earth
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
"I need to die to feel alive"
Bye bye, beautiful
It’s not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I`ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words
How blind can you be, don’t you see?
That the gambler lost all he does not have...
Bye bye, beautiful
ergoproxy said...
i should have done it sooner! lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll probably say that about smoking......
in about 20 years (if I'm still alive) ;)
can someone tell me what the point was with all the cocaine lyrics.
I wish I could help you anonymous. Ergo did ask but she did not get much of an answer.
Ooops, how are you tonight anon? Do you like Nightwish?
no but I need a bump
*bump*
hey anon!
wendy I have never heard Nightwish, not bad
Awww....you don't like Nightwish?
No bump (for you) if you don't like Nightwish!
Ergo: Are you off taking another test?
Interesting song selection 616, I'm not really that familiar with them.
anon the anon said it was for gerard, I assume it's becuase of the rumours of his going back to drug use, an dthe people who have said MSI are users of cocaine
I'd hope not, it can really fuck up your life
YAH!!!! Ergo can have a bump!
*bump for Ergo*
Do you want to see "Amaranth", Ergo? That one reminds me of Amy, lol!
no
no test but I had my mum on the phone so that's kinda testing at times ;)
sure ! sorry the no was answering you at 1:09
Thank you anon @ 1:10.
It's one of my favorite Nightwish songs!
Thank you for the explanation Ergo.
I'm glad you said SURE, Ergo! ;)
I love this video!
Amaranth
And, of course, the lyrics:
Amaranth
by Nightwish
Baptized with a perfect name
The doubting one by heart
Alone without himself
War between him and the day
Need someone to blame
In the end, little he can do alone
You believe but what you see?
You receive but what you give?
Caress the one, the never-fading
rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak
Apart from the wandering pack
In this brief flight of time we reach
For the ones, whoever dare
You believe but what you see?
You receive but what you give?
Caress the one, the never-fading
rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak
Reaching, searching for something untouched
Hearing voices of the never-fading calling
Caress the one, the never-fading
rain in your heart - the tears of snow-white sorrow
Caress the one, the hiding amaranth
In a land of the daybreak
that's ok anon I take anons like that with a grain of salt, they have no proof of anything
wendy was nightwish the ones who changed lead singer recently?
Yes Cocaine is a horrible thing...can steal your whole life...thats why I've been building this really cool Meth lab ;)
Hello ladies...just passing through...its been a long weekend and I need to sleep...a little
Oh Oh...Wendy is doing songs tonight.
How are you Ergo?
hi triston how are you?
Doing great...just wiped out...had to play Friday and Saturday...that equals a lot of moving equipment.
Speak of the Devil, and who should arrive?
-A
wendy I really like that!
I may have to look into nightwish!
I'm good thanks triston, have tutoring shortly and spent the weekend up the coast to go to a bullriding show and spend time with my relatives, it's cold here too :(
Hello Triston! How are you?
Yep, I'm doing songs tonight.
I have to do something! ;P
Did you play this weekend? If not, you should have gone to the HOB for the Jagermeister Music Tour! T'was fun!
amy!!!
how coincidental! conspiracy anons can have a field day! or if I say your name 3 times into a mirror.....
Amy, what do you think of the song?
AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You heard the call of Nightwish, didn't you? ;)
How are you? How's Lear? How's the stress level?
*is full of questions for Amy*
I would love to go watch someone else play for a while...I am off this weekend...so maybe I'll have to check the Lagniappe Friday. ;)
Ergo I have never seen any bullriding...had a girlfriend once that was involved in barrel racing...I think thats what you call it....More like a horse show.
Okay anon, I will admit, it is not one of Nightwish's better songs; but, the video is lovely!
Anon, the lyrics are quite beautiful in their prophecy, don't you think?
Wendy, Ergo and Triston, I am better this evening, how about you guys?
-A has a secret.
I like horse competition too, we do campdrafting, my hubby has competed (not well but still)they chase a calf around a set course, lots of skill in rider and horse
ergoproxy said...
amy!!!
how coincidental! conspiracy anons can have a field day! or if I say your name 3 times into a mirror.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy-ranth
Amy-ranth
Amy-....
*should I tempt fate?*
?
?
?
RANTH!!!!!
*shrieks*
Dont blame the anon for anything...the no but I need a bump anon was me being funny...well it seemed funny at the time anyway
What's your secret amy...did he propose? :)
You can't save him. If he won't listen to his friends and family, you really think you can save him?
Ergo, conspiracy anons, what now?
Wendy, slightly better. Still maxed out over work, and roommie not paying rent, but we suddenly were given an ace up our sleeve.
She had her income tax filed and delivered to this address, not her new one.
She is getting 2 refunds from the tax man. I think I can see a compromise working out here!
-A
I have a cold, Amy. Other than that, I'm good!
I'm glad to hear you're feeling better!
*big hug*
Ohhh....a secret????
Are you going to make me bat my eyelashes? ;)
I am doing great...now when a woman says "she has a secret" she is usually dying to tell it. ;)
Anon, I bloody well wish! But no, what I mentioned to Wendy is a little secret.
I haven't told my roommie yet that I have her Tax Refunds. I'll do it in the morning.
-A
Amyranth said...
She is getting 2 refunds from the tax man. I think I can see a compromise working out here!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*gazes into her crystal ball*
Yes, yes.....
I do see an owed windfall in your future!
That's GREAT news Amy! Karma is an amazing thing, ain't it? ;)
Hey kids, look, it's almost all of the regular Night Crew!
Hi Wendy, Amy, Triston, Ergo, and Anons--and what on Earth is going on with all the "cocaine songs"? Somebody trying to make a point here? If so, I think we got it.
J
Oh well, better than nothing amy!
Well my sweet ladies I really do need to sleep I start a new one in the morning and it involves climbing ...high...I dont need any mishaps..so I'd better say good nite.
1:32
No one can save him BUT HIM. It has to be his choice. I'm sure his friends and family will be there to support him - if need be.
Hello J....I am off to hit the coffin, would be nice to stay and chat...but not to nice to fall...could damage my music career.
Goodnight, Triston! Good luck on your climbing job tomorrow.
J
J!!!!!!!!!!!! How are you?
*pounce tackle hug smooch*
Goodnight Triston! Careful climbing into the coffin!
very true 616
Tired, Wendy, but ok otherwise. *hugs and kissys*
Did you get the link L sent you for the video she made?
J
Anonymous said...
You can't save him. If he won't listen to his friends and family, you really think you can save him?
With every fiber of my being I want to believe it's possible.
question, who is trying to save who?
Have there been rumors about Gerard going back on the stuff? I haven't heard anything.
My thought is that people would assume he's back on it b/c he's out with MSI. I'm not so sure he would succumb to it again, seeing how bad it got last time.
Elena, great email you sent L, by the way! ;)
J
Anon, it sure beats a kick in the clam.
I don't believe that Gerard is doing cocaine again. Maybe drinking, but I can't see cocaine.
-A
Not by anyone from the blog. Not even if he is him.
1:43, what do you mean?
J
Thank you 1:41.
So, what did you think of Nightwish?
Elena!!!!!!!! Heck, it's a night shift reunion. If only Martha, Miranth, BC, Angel, FangBang and Elune were here!
J: I didn't check my e-mail yesterday. I'll go check now to make sure it's there.
I'm glad L enjoyed her birthday!!!
Amy, we seem to be thinking in the same direction.
She sent it this AM, Wendy. There's one part in it especially that you'll love. I laughed my ass off when I saw it!
Elena, did you get a chance to watch L's video?
J
Can I join in? I have been a long time lurker and have recently turned blue :)
sorry had to get to the bus
goodnight triston sweet dreams!
Hi J
I have tutoring very soon
hi elena! hi persephone!
nice to meet you
Hallo Persephone!
J, good. I have seen pictures that look recent that COULD be him with beer, but you know, better the devil you know than the devil you don't sometimes...
I don't know. As long as he's not on the drugs, I don't care.
-A
It's there J! I'll go watch it now.
Hi Persephone! Of course you may join in. I'll be back in a bit!
Anonymous said...
Not by anyone from the blog. Not even if he is him.
You are probably correct. Heck if he's on coke again, it could take divine intervention.
But who knows? He could end up being the next Keith Richards.
-A
Hello everyone, nice to meet you all!
So Ergo, what was the final judgment on the Moon Pies? My favorites are the vanilla myself.
Hello Persephone, tell us a little about yourself, if you would?
J
amy I think you holding her refund cheques is an excellent bargaining position
What would you like to know J?
It just seems to me, Amy, that he would've seen, and/or been told, what he did while he was stoned last year. I can't see Gerard being unselfconscious enough to say, "Hey, yeah, I acted like I had no brain in my head, but I think I want to do it again and humiliate myself the same way!"
Besides, I think by now he knows how close he came to the Pearly Gates, and we all know that he's afraid of death.
J
Ergo, I frigging hope so. My man is a little worried that she won't want to pay up, especially if she thinks the checks aren't that sizable. My fix for that is to write Return To Sender on them and then she has to go through hell and back to get the money again.
-A
as for Gerard I would hope he wouldn't, but it is a very hard thing to not relapse, many many people do. I would hope IF he did he would be wise enough to seek help and not assume he could handle it, and he'd have people around who would help.
He's a grown man and his decisions are his to deal with. It would be a great shame but happens all too frequently
J not sure about the moon pies, they seem ok, but they aren't like anything I've ever had.
I love the keyring and I have had a quick flick through the mag, some of the recipes look very yummy
it's not about dying or being brainless...it's about a coping mechanism
Why the change in direction, OPS?
where abouts are you persephone? I'm the blogs resident australian so you need to reverse your seasons, and add a day (ie it's about 4pm tuesday for me)
sorry should say one of the blogs resident aussies, the other is cupckae she's down south a long way from me. I'm tropical queensland, she's chilly tasmania
I can't see Gerard being unselfconscious enough to say, "Hey, yeah, I acted like I had no brain in my head, but I think I want to do it again and humiliate myself the same way!"
Mmm.. Yeah. That CAN be true, except when the addiction is SO strong, they don't care about anything but the next fix.
I told you guys I'm MEAN on sake. I'm not joking. I'm a fucking jackass on sake.
It doesn't stop me from drinking it. I consume as little as possible, but when I do drink, it's always at home because I definitely do NOT wanna be in public when I drink.
It's a hard call.
The man seems like he has a brain in his head. I hope he respects himself and what he's accomplished enough to NOT do it.
-A
Persephone, just lay it all out there, since we don't know anything about you yet, anything is fine.
Ergo, I'm glad you liked the keyring and magazine. Did we send you some postcards and a magnet too? I think I remember those being in the package.
Moon Pies are definitely an acquired taste. The thing about Southerners is that most of us like things reeeeeeeeeally sweet. You should taste the sweet tea down here, you could cut the sugar with a knife!
J
J! I love the video! The fur babies are adorable (as are you and L). I particularly like the special appearance by SPARKLE!!!!
LOL
That was great! I knew those hot pink beads would look great with her yellow wool! ;)
Nice to 'meet' you too, Persephone!
yes! J the magnet is on the fridge and the postcards are beside me here, it was nice seeing your writing on the card too, you miss that in typing.
and a spice mix - southern whiskey flavour, I'll buy me some ribs for it would that be appropriate?
Change in direction, Anon? What makes you ask that?
Don't get me wrong. I know full well how addicts act. But I'm also not saying G is an addict b/c I don't know him. His behavior last summer indicated addictive tendencies. And I'm definitely NOT saying he's stupid. He seems to have gone through some changes for the better since then. He's an extremely intelligent man. He seems to be rather determined when the occasion arises.
So, having said all that, my feeling--NOT BASED ON FACT--is that even though it might've been a coping method for him last year, his head seems to be on straighter now. Hopefully he gained some perspective as well as some willpower. He was under so much stress last summer, I can believe he turned to drugs to "help" him cope. But, this summer? I just don't think that's the case anymore.
J
my student is here, must be off for a while see you all!
Ummm......J, I really don't want to disappoint you or any of my southern sisters and brothers; but.....
I REALLY DO NOT LIKE MOON PIES!
;P
See you later, Ergo! Have fun titoring!
I live in London. The name I have chosen is actually what my friends call me, as my appearance is very similar to the character played in the second Matrix movie.
I met Lewis and Martha the other night :) It was Lewis who suggested I go blue.
anymore
Right, you used to be adamant that he was on drugs. Not too long ago.
That's ok, Wendy. I have my own confession:
I HATE BARBEQUE! Sweet meat, blarg. And I HATE COFFEE TOO!
Ergo, ribs would be most appropriate! You might could use the rub on pork chops, hamburgers, or roast beef too.
J
Anon please give us your opinion...
Do you believe him to be on drugs?
I've never had a moon pie a day in my life.
-A
Anonymous said...
anymore
Right, you used to be adamant that he was on drugs. Not too long ago.
May 27, 2008 2:15 AM
I'm not saying I don't think he was hooked. I'm saying I think he's better now than he was then, and can hopefully modify his actions.
I have no idea what he's doing now. I'm just stating my thoughts, that with any luck he'll actually think twice before getting into it again.
J
Persephone: Welcome to official blogger BLUE!
J: I'm with you on the BBQ. Unless it's veggie dogs, burgers or kabobs! And, I am not a huge coffee fan either.
Amy: Didn't you drink an entire bottle of Sake a couple of weeks ago? I don't think you were mean at all!
Wendy, did you LOVE Sparkle? And the timing! "Trust me." I laughed til I cried!
L and I looked a lot different then, didn't we? Those pics were taken quite a few years ago, about eight I think.
Amy, would you like us to send you some?
J
Amyranth said...
I've never had a moon pie a day in my life.
-A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you want my opinion, Amy; you're not missing much ;)
Have you ever had pinwheels? They taste something like those.
Now, grilling is way different than BBQ, Wendy. I love grilled (like charcoal-grilled) things like steak, chicken, some veggies, hamburgers. But BBQ sauce or anything like that just has no appeal for me. :P
When we were in Memphis, we ate at BB King's Club one night. L had a mixed platter that had some ribs; she said they were the best ones she'd ever had.
I stuck with the shrimp.
J
Yes
What, you think he is high on life?
Wendy, you just didn't meet up with me in a dark alley! Pinwheels? Like Wagon Wheels?
-A
You don't put BBQ sauce on your veggie dogs and burgers? They're yummy with the sauce - hot n spicy BBQ sauce, of course!
Oh my god.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard House Of Wolves, and I am fucking POSITIVE that Gerard just said "Tell me I'm a Bat Man, kick me like a stray".
-A
Anon, a lot of people refer to that video lately it seems. It's an old interview.
Besides, Canada usually turns most Americans into a sweaty, nervous wreck.
It's all the wildlife, you see.
-A
That was then....
What about now, Anon?
Amyranth said...
Wendy, you just didn't meet up with me in a dark alley! Pinwheels? Like Wagon Wheels?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are these wagon wheels you speak of chocolate covered marshmallow treats on wafers? If so, they are like pinwheels!
*note to self: meet Amy in a dark alley when she's been drinking sake*
You know I have to find out what would happen! ;)
2.29, you're not getting it.
That video was from August 2007. I saw it several times.
He also had a word Sharpie'd on his neck. Does that mean he's gonna start doing THAT again too?
"Yes" what? What's your point here? Are you saying that because he was high last year that he's definitely high again this year? Can't say that, cause you don't know.
J
Yep, one in the same. Are moonpies vanilla flavoured wagon wheels?
*almost wrote Wang Wheels*
-a
J: I DID love Sparkle!!!!
That was too funny!
Who wouldn't trust a face like that?
Wendy, I get pseudo-japanese on people.
Right down to the shinai and kendo phrases.
The worst part is when I get one or two cups over my limit. Then I start singing in Japanese. One song is about Cherry Blossoms, the other is about Sailor Moon.
-A
Amy, Moon Pies are wafer-like round cookies covered in either chocolate, vanilla, banana, or strawberry coating, with marshmallow in the center. They're about the size of a donut. They're pretty tasty, I think, but I only have one every few years or so.
J
Amy: I think moon pies are banana or chocolate flavored. I might have to do some moon pie research for you!
Hiya Gang,
I'm dropping and running -as I'm rearanging the living room right now -and it's all in the middle; but I wanted to put in my two bits:
I DO BELIEVE Gerard was using drugs again this summer, and I DO BELIEVE he is using them again NOW. I saw them on April 4th and was VERY WORRIED. Then just today I watched about 47 seconds of Part 2 of the SURS interview (as that was all I could STOMACH) and I am thoroughly convinced now. He could hardly stop moving, he kept touching his nose, sniffing and smacking his gum -If you've ever been close to an addict then you KNOW THE SIGNS. And nither Mikey OR Frankie looked to pleased throughout that interview.
I won't blame Lyn for his behavior, as he is his own person. But I will say, the timing is rather interesting and in his current state of mind (as I believe it to be) I doubt he would mind too much to have such a convienent scapegoat nearby. I think he is brilliant and I'm terrified for him, as I believe we need people like him in this world -working towards positive change. However, he's done nothing much but disgust me lately and that crushes. I fear for him, and I wonder what the other band members are thinking of everything that has and is continuing to happen. I also wonder if they will be coming back, especially Frank. The idea that this band may be over -or come back lacking any of the members (all which are needed to be a true force of positive change, again Jedi's) breaks my heart. And pisses me off severe. Fuck, is all I can think to add.
Also -Hello to Pers!! ;D Lovely to see you shinning in blue! How is Hades?? I wish I could stay and chat with ya, but I have blocked the t.v. with a giant shelf and am in deep for it! I might be back tomorrow -if I don't get blacklisted! Hope to see you! Hope everyone is well! -Again thanks for all the bday wishes, you guys are wonderful! Kiss to Far! ;p loves-l/d
L votes for chocolate being the best (it was the original flavor), but I go for the vanilla ones myself. I cannot even IMAGINE a strawberry one!
*blargs at the thought*
Back when both her and my parents were young, you could go to the store and get a "dope" and a Moon Pie for like a nickel. ("Dope" was Southern slang for RC Cola.)
J
Oh P.S.
Persephone,
I shall have to rent Matrix 2 again! I only watched it the once and have little clue as to the character! Hope you are well! Again, very happy to see you in blue! :)
What? Then? Not even a year ago.
And the week here and there they got off touring he spent it getting clean. And there is a totally legitamate reason he didn't come out, not once, this last tour. Right.
Amyranth said...
The worst part is when I get one or two cups over my limit. Then I start singing in Japanese. One song is about Cherry Blossoms, the other is about Sailor Moon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOL Amy!!!! Well, I like cherry blossoms and Sailor Moon (Yes, blame that on my niece)
For Amy when she drinks sake
:P
maybe his anxiety is too much for him to know how to deal with constructively
Anonymous said...
What? Then? Not even a year ago.
And the week here and there they got off touring he spent it getting clean. And there is a totally legitamate reason he didn't come out, not once, this last tour. Right.
Unfortunately, until someone catches him doing a line on someone's kitchen table, I have to say I can't believe it.
-A
My guess--yet again--is that any time Gerard gets within 20 feet of any of the fans, they try to knock him down. Remember the airport incident in, I think, Chile? Those girls CHASED him through the airport, yelling at him for pictures. He politely refused twice or three times, but they continued. Then when he got exasperated at their rude behavior, they jumped him. Would YOU want to confront that every single night?
And, I'm sorry to say, it's probably also the negative attitudes of people who don't give him a chance that keeps him on the bus. Hell, I don't blame him. I'd stay in there too!
J
Why all of a sudden is this being insinuated?
Has the blog died down a bit and needed more controversy?
Wendy,
Domo Arigato, Mister Roboto. :P
-A
mayo? is tonight sharp?
He could hardly stop moving, he kept touching his nose, sniffing and smacking his gum-
I saw that, too. He could not stop touching his nose. My one friend even made a comment and she thinks he's clean.
Hi Lewis!!!!!!!!!! How are you?
*big hug*
I have a question regarding Projekt Revolution.
Why were there so many sharp objects floating around? It seemed as though every interview I saw (with every band) involved knives or swords.
It was most troubling!
Where band members sneaking around slashing the tires on other bands' tour buses or what?
Anonymous said...
Why all of a sudden is this being insinuated?
Has the blog died down a bit and needed more controversy?
*raises her hand*
I can start SHITLOADS of controversy now if you'd like!
-A
Anonymous said...
He could hardly stop moving, he kept touching his nose, sniffing and smacking his gum-
I saw that, too. He could not stop touching his nose. My one friend even made a comment and she thinks he's clean.
Allergies?
I have bad seasonal allergies to pollen from Poplar trees. Drives me nuts, I could rub my nose square off my face.
*rubs nose*
Sorry, it's the poplar.
-A
Dang typo fairy!
where = were
Hi TJ!!!! How are you?
I viewed the airport scenes in asia, particularly the one where they were blocked full of screaming fangirls.
His hands were shaking as he was trying to smoke. I don't think it was drugs, more fear. What a horrible thing to be in the middle of!
If you watch old interviews, Gerard fidgets and twitches in most or all of them. He gets nervous WHEN HE'S SOBER.
When he's stoned, his movements slow down, his gestures become "long" and flowing (notice the arm movements in the Fuse interview), and he TALKS NONSENSE.
He's insecure, so he fidgets. It seems to be part of his personality.
What is your point, Anon? Why does someone always have to have issues with Gerard's behavior? Why don't you harp on other singers who've done coke? What makes him more of a bad guy than other people?
Can you just leave the poor guy alone? Good grief, back off!
J
*raises her hand*
I'm rubbing my nose too!
Mirrors (or other flat shiney surfaces), razor blades and straws are not involved!
*has a cold*
Because of my allergies and my CPAP machine, which dries out my nose, mouth, and throat, I spend a good part of my day rubbing my nose.
Makes me look like, oh, I don't know.
AN ADDICT?
3.02, thank you. Exactly.
J
His hands were shaking as he was trying to smoke. I don't think it was drugs, more fear. What a horrible thing to be in the middle of!
Shaking? Man, I'd probably drop everything I owned under a pack of screaming girls.
That's why I took off REAL QUICK when I saw him in the crowd at Warped in 05. I'm crazy, but I'm not suicidal.
-A
J: I not only looked like an addict; I smelled like one Saturday night! I'm glad I wasn't pulled over on the way home!
Well, my eyes would have told the true tale......
On second thought, they were quite pink from the fumes!
I can 100% say I've never done drugs. Ever in my whole life
My staff on the other hand, has to take a "smoke break" about halfway through the day if the store manager is there.
-A
Are we going back to the blog days of old?
It was the "love" blog for a while
Wendy, I thought I'd told you to quit sniffing that stuff! Shame on you!
Obviously you're that way all the time, since you were like that Saturday night.
Obviously.
J
Well, it's been fun catching up a bit and hanging out with you all again!
I must be off for awhile *le sigh*.
Goodnight J, Amy, Elena, TJ, Persephone, Ergo, anons, lurkers, Mayo, SS.....
Sweet dreams to one and all!!!!
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
PS: Strawberry MOON PIES????
O_O
I don't even want to think about what those taste like!
Try to feel better, Wendy, and get some rest! Goodnight!
3.15, I would LOVE to go back to the "Love Blog" thing. Can you post something for us please?
And where did Persephone go?
J
Original Punks said...
Wendy, I thought I'd told you to quit sniffing that stuff! Shame on you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was powdered sugar from the donuts, J! I swear it was!!!!
;)
Kidding folks, just kidding! It was glue!
Goodnight again ALL!!!
sorry, I'm no one of the "love" anons. They might appear later on, or maybe they hooked up together.
Anonymous said...
Are we going back to the blog days of old?
It was the "love" blog for a while
*big sparkly eyes*
LOVE? I love LOVE!
...
Wow, that was sickening, even for me. And I'm the Cute One. :P
-A
You don't have to be a Love Anon to lay out the Love, Anon. (Sorry, that was weird.)
Its all about the love. Or at least it SHOULD be!
J
Wow, so point and case then huh?
I'd just like to make clear, that I do care deeply for Gerard (and the other guys) and I would LOVE to be proved wrong about my fears of him right now. But they are MY fears. I was just giving my opinion. I'll do my best not to upset things again.
*rubs nose*
*sniffs twice*
*Apologizes for being so rude as to give such a wrongful and unloyal opinion.*
I can promise that won't happen *tiwce. Night ladies. -l
Mayo
I am lost. Honestly I am lost. Stupidly I had believed I’d finally made my way out of the darkness. I am so foolish. One step forward then two steps back. I overcome one problem and there are two more waiting for me. But the latest problem, well I’m not sure I can overcome this one ever. What will happen will alter my life. I know it will happen, I’m just holding my breath, waiting. I’m suffocating.
I’m not much fun to listen to lately, am I? For this I am sorry. I could pretend for you but somehow I think you’d feel the lie.
I will not dwell. Just know, I will not give up. One step forward then two steps back. Perhaps instead of steps I should jump. Maybe I’d get farther. Care to jump with me?
Night Mayo
Elena (it’s just life)
fake love is worse than no love
Lewis:
This discussion/argument has been going on for months. I don't think your two cents hurt anything. Don't feel bad, it happens on its own sooner rather than later.
J
*Apologizes for being so rude as to give such a wrongful and unloyal opinion.*
Hey Lewis, and opinion is just that. You have yours and I have mine. Neither of us is in the wrong for it.
-A
Anonymous said...
fake love is worse than no love
I wholeheartedly agree.
Which is why I've NEVER faked an orgasm!
-A
Elena honey, you're never alone. We're always here, arms wide open, shoulders padded with wads of Kleenex, Starbucks on the table--or JD if that's your choice. :/
L and I will call you later today, ok? We love you, remember? *hugs and kisses*
Anon, that's true, but you just can't give up looking for the real thing. It's out there, I know it. I've seen it happen.
J
Oh Amy, TMI! TMI! It's too early in the morning for that kind of truth!
J
LOL J!!
Sorry, I just HAD to say it.
-A
http://www.phespirit.info/momus/
19880106.htm
Interesting.
-A
hey again and goodnight all, I'll goodnight properly later
elena are you ok?
I know J and L will be able to talk to you, but I'm thinking of you
Tj hi but I can't stay today, hope you're well
Lewis his behaviour has me very concerned also, it really does look that way, but I hope it is just fear/anxiety/nervousness. He is a twitchy guy so perhaps there are other reasons. If he is then I hope people close to him can help him, and he chooses to accept that, if he's not then I really hope he finds some peace and relaxation while they break, he sure looks to be overwhelmed by the attention he creates
night wendy *smooooch*
night J and persephone wherever you are
And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
Hmmm. Tender pervert? A writer of songs. Wow.
And yeah, I knew you had to go there. I expect no less from you, Amy! That's why I luv yew.
J
sorry and amy too
(and me too, just sayin')
fake love only ever leads to disappointment
3.47,
Yes.
J
mayo,
for me, tonight is a lurkful one. the words i want to say are fit only for the pages of my personal journal, and there they are scrawled and there they will remain.
i'm stymied. at a full stop.
i want to be useful to those important to me, but all i can do is wait. it's so frustrating! everyone tells me i'm strong, but no one is willing to test me on that strength. no one is willing to rely on me.
and that's not what i wanted to say, either. but it's all i've got -- rough words, nothing pretty. i almost didn't even write a good night to you, but i'm hopeless.
mayo, your post hurts. i don't like it. i'm not reading it anymore. i've read it too much already.
i'm still tethered, though.
mayo, take care of yourself. be gentle with yourself. you're in my prayers, still.
Goodnight Ergo! (Well, if we're all confessing, then yes, I've had to, a time or two. Totally the wrong men for me, though!)
J
Darn, I missed it.
-A
Oh great, one of the few times I top, and look what it is!
Boy, didn't THAT just make it worse! I'm so bad.
J
*prepares to go there again*
Well, he's gotta work for it! No work, no payoff is what I always say!
Ahaha!
Anyway, I gotta kick off. Lazy day tomorrow, in the garden. I'm thinking about planting some Amaranth.
Goodnight Lovelies and SS!
Mayo, you can take your hands off your ears now. We're done talking about girly parts.
No, really. Stop screaming.
Goodnight Darling.
-A
Goodnight Amy, have a restful day tomorrow. You deserve one!
I guess I'll wander off to bed, too. After a quick goodnight or two, then I'm gone.
Goodnight Ergo if you're still around, goodnight Elena, please be well, goodnight TJ, the words will come, just give them time.
BlogBelieve, let's try it again tomorrow, yeah? Take care, hope Tuesday is good for you all.
love/hope/faith
J
Hello Mayo,
Um, dude, about the Dyson? Is it on its way, or will I have to make some calls? Yeah, today was a holiday, and UPS doesn't run then, but I just want to make sure. So, you know, purple. Dyson. It's a vacuum cleaner. All good? Cool.
(You must just shake your head and roll your eyes at some of my comments. I know I do. ;D )
Hope you had a good weekend with family and friends around. Hope your family isn't as weird as mine. BTW, I survived my Saturday with Mom et al. THERE WAS NO SCREAMING.
Goodnight, Mayo. And, as we like to say around here, be good--or be good AT it.
love,
J
SS darlin',
How are you doing today? Rested after your outing, I trust. Still bruised, though, hmmm? I'm sorry.
For some reason, I just thought of this line from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail":
"Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
I know, I know. My mind. Go figure.
Have a good night, and a great Tuesday. Relax, reread that book I told you about a few months ago. Nap. Eat some more. Stay away from rowdy children. ;)
Goodnight, Precious. I love you.
J
You sound like the FANS that are GIRLS that say "he is so silly and adorable!!!!!".
Post a Comment