When you least expect it.

I am precipitant, and temptation proffers madness. I can’t resist. I love the fucking rush of blood to my head, my heart hammering my ears. The rhythm and intensity set me to cruise. I am making decisions just moments before the situation even presents itself. And it all works out.

With your assault on my senses still pushing adrenaline through my veins, I decided to give myself a brief respite from self-induced ubiquity. I righted myself before you…almost completely relieved of the obscurity that may have impaired your perception (I am absurd). I focused my energy inward and provided you with a unique, cogent vision...handed to you in haste.

Without contrast.

For just a moment I tethered myself to you. In the dark and held captive by brick and chain link, you held the truth in the palm of your hand. While I stood, waiting for the fucking bomb to drop. I wanted to pull you aside, then. I wanted to tell you, whisper it in your ear. I wanted you to see me. Register my words with my voice. But, translation was lost in my subtle introduction, and I know I caught you off guard. My strength diminished, I walked away with the truth in my fist, my secret under a floodlight.

With you.

I admit that you may not know, but I need you to know. I need for you to know.

After all of that, and even if misunderstood, I have to say that your presence is appreciated…and I must admit often anticipated. But, it was never my intention to lead you. I hope I have not caused you concern, and I must ask, are you angry? Are you angry with me? If you need reassurance, if you question my intent, I could tell you again.

My friend, all you need to do is ask.



p.s. and even then I am amazed.