I am filthy and filled with an untenable relapse in reason. I reek of the ruinous stench of revolt. I am vile. There is a guard posted at my bedside who never allows me to rest. He keeps a silent watch with his fist in my gut. My screams he silences with his lips pressed full against my mouth. He eats my words before they have a chance to live. And, he knows that once I am free I will disappear.
I throw my shadow against the wall. I hope that the guard will find the illusion a distraction and he does. Now, with the guard so easily bemused, I quickly slip out from under the sheets. Feet hit the floor first, then knees and hands, then once I am steady I crawl my way out the door. I only have a little time before the guard notices my shadow’s foolery. He could beat me to a pulp. Fucking prick.
And of course, I always return to the same place. They will eventually find me and post a new sentry. Perhaps the next will be somewhat entertaining.
p.s. present tense and terse with (only) myself.
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I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Art by: Toujours
No Contest
even if no one gets me, if i'm the only one laughing at my jokes, i won't hide myself away from life. it's uncertain and it's dirty and it's fucking exciting, and i want to be a part of all of it.
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
it's too good to waste in hiding.
toujours
February, 21, 2009 1:27 AM
heart full
Today on my way home from class, I stopped off at the petrol station for some petrol. I paid on my card which wasn’t a lot, and then as I was getting into my car, I saw an old man walking past the building. He had a red and green stripy jumper which was frayed at the ends. He was also wearing some jeans that were dirty and had holes all over.
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
I sat there and became intrigued by him because I didn’t know what he was doing, so as I sat there and watched him, he continued doing what he set out to do.
He walked past the trash cans and first picked out a cup with some drink still in it (one of the cups that you get from burger king that has coke in it). He then walked over to the next trash can and pulled out the end of a half eaten sandwich. In my shock horror, he ate it and then went to sit on the wall to drink the drink he had found.
I felt sad, I wanted to give him my last $4 that I had but I was told when I was younger that you should never give people money, you should give them something they need or can use because that way, if they had an addiction, they would not be able to use the money for their addiction. So I went into the shop and bought a chicken sandwich from their deli counter and then walked out of the building.
The guy was still sat at the wall drinking his drink so I walked up to him and asked him if he would like this sandwich. He thanked me and said that he was hungry.
I should of felt good after that, doing something for someone else but all I could think of is where his next meal will come from or where in fact he will sleep tonight.
Fimble Star
September 30, 2008 8:08 PM
(Tonight, although I am cold and my feet are sore, my belly is full.)
It helped.
Jennicula,
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although it only appeared briefly, I was lucky enough to have caught it.
Once upon a time, for me, that was the best part of this place...having my words related back to me from another's perspective.
And it never mattered to me who said it, just that it meant something to the writer.
Blog header image by: Anima
I would like to credit the photographer and thank her for sharing her work.
something
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are. If you've had a shitty day and you feel like people just don't want you to be happy, and when you find yourself struggling to make it through the day, just keep on believing and keep the faith. Also, from personal experience, don't push people away. When they say they want to help and that they are there for you, let them in. Believe me, I know how fucking scary that thought is, but don't shut others out.
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
paperheartxx
September 22, 2008 11:07 PM
Retro-spectacled
Sometimes, when you look back on stuff in your life, you know, the crap that makes you shake your head and say, "Holy shit, what the Hell was I thinking?" it's part of what makes you - you.
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have made small mistakes and really big, fucking scary mistakes. Would I change those mistakes and blunders?
No. Wanna know why?
Because they make me - me. They help make up the person that I am, what I've learned the hard way. Hopefully I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better person for it. And, hopefully I don't repeat those same mistakes. Although, sometimes I repeat variations of certain ones, but I'm working on that. :)
Jennicula
June 11, 2008 11:19 AM
aloft
Blazing against the sun
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
like locusts,
samaras swarm the sky
and skitter to an earthly end,
dry
like clever words.
I want to make them fly up,
flip heaven upside down
and dance across the top of hell
and sing your thoughts
to the sound of thunder
that you love so well,
rip open the littered sky
and bathe in the light
or draw across the firmament
the blanket of the night.
In only a day they have
covered the ground,
their brief flight
yielding nothing permanent
on infertile land,
a fleeting moment of swarming glory
that calls to mind our own
short story:
Diamonds and petals,
the loom and the light,
the inkdark moon, foxfire marsh,
an open, waiting hand.
Clever winged seeds
of childhood reminiscent--
and like the idiot grown-up heart,
as stubbornly indehiscent.
Weaver Girl
May 26, 2008 11:27 PM
Electric Blue
…today I saw a ulysses butterfly it was in our yard and settled to feed on our hibiscus. They really are fantastically beautiful things, the electric blue is amazing, however as they sit with their wings closed they are rather nondescript and dull. Sometimes people are like that, from the outside they seem unappealing but within there hides an amazing beauty for those lucky enough to see it. I hope you appreciate beauty in all things, and look for it perhaps where others miss it.
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
ergoproxy
April 29, 2008 4:45 AM
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
I read your post again and suddenly without warning memories of construction paper filled my head. I remembered all the lop-sided flowers my girls made when they were young. Bright blue, yellow and pink flowers that were cut out with blunt end scissors would fill the windows to decorate for Easter. An occasional bunny was attempted but those usually ended up looking like creatures from a horror movie. Flowers were so much easier. I can close my eyes and hear the paper being cut into petals. I can smell the Elmer’s glue squirted on in huge blobs to attach each misshapen petal to form the flowers. We had a huge arts and crafts box full of wonderful items just waiting for their imaginations to turn into something wonderful. In my mind I see my daughters, as they once were, small, blond little girls sitting on the floor surrounded by scraps of paper and other art supplies. They would create their masterpieces then proudly show each other. Oh and Lord the messes that would ensue if the glitter made an appearance. Now, the box is forgotten. I’m not really sure where it even is anymore. The few flowers so lovingly created that survived are faded and dusty and high on a shelf they sit. Time marches on, so many things get left behind.
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
Today was the first Easter I spent alone. I don’t think it really upset me until I remembered the construction paper flowers. Of course I understand that my daughters are growing up and have lives of their own. But understanding doesn’t make it any easier to accept. I miss my little girls in their frilly Easter dresses. I miss the laughter that filled the house when they found what the Easter Bunny left for them. And I miss making the damn flowers.
Elena
March 24, 2008 3:57 AM
From the corner.
I wonder if you noticed
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
all our friends playing
Some had never tried before
and the result was amazing.
Poems from the corner
from the left and right
We did our best to keep them flowing
Late into this night.
If nothing else was accomplished
I hope we made someone see
How truly beautiful and amazing
a poem can be.
Sdock10
March 13, 2008 11:36 PM
Thank You. Truly.
"This little world has grown around us, out of nothing, and it is a remarkable thing. Even the dark and dirty parts, the violent parts. Humanity will not thrive without passion."
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Redrum
March 1, 2008 3:13 AM
Uncondensed
Your words are what give value to this space.
Never do that again.
Yes, I am aware.
Character Advocacy.
"Don't ever pretend to be something you're not. You are who you are, and no one can change that. The people who don't like the real you are just gonna have to suck it. Don't take shit from anyone. Don't crumble. Throw a few birds, and walk on.
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
I'm still trying to do this, so maybe we can work on it together."
mustardisbetter
January 16, 2008 4:48 PM
Art by: Toujours
“I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.”
Jean-Dominique Bauby
Jean-Dominique Bauby
2,926 comments:
1 – 200 of 2926 Newer› Newest»Beating yourself up over something? Or no? I'm just assuming since you did state "I throw my shadow against the wall." You do have a way with words Mr. Mayonaise. If only I was half as talented as you.
Thank you, PH!
Hey Mayo.
This is a hell of a bedtime story, Mayo! One hesitates to ask you how you are for fear that it might be too personal a question.
Nevermind. I should read this like 1287947 times before I open my trap.
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, and with you being so smart and old... ;)
I can't figure you out sometimes Mayonaise.
Evening, Mayo
I just got home.
Wow, I will have to let this one sink in a bit.
How are you?
Have you been lurking, S&V!
And Sdock! How was the show?
Hey Princess and Sdock!
Glad to see you both around.
=]
Glad to see you all actually.
Nope, RW. Just walked in the door. :)
It's soooo freakin' late.
Mayo,
You okay?
The show kicked ass, RW! That dude rocks. He played for damn near 3 hours.
And I was about to retire, yet this nightmarish vision may keep me awake.
Mayo, perhaps you should not return to the same place after each escape... I wonder what draws you back? Or is that too personal a query...
Rebellious?
Risk taking?
Prisoner?
I'm trying to figure this post out. Shall I take it literally? Shall I look for an "inner-meaning"?
Oh good Lord, I have a 15 year old daughter if I want this shit. I loves you, but fix you eyes and cheer up.
You know, I read and reread each new post, but it takes other peoples' interpretations of it to fuel my imagination to come up with my own version. And in the end it's all just speculation as it could actually mean something none of us have even imagined.
And I'm still suffering brain twist from that grid pic you posted ages ago. Never did figure that one out, if indeed there even was anything there to figure out. Sometimes I think maybe we (or I, at least) over-analyze things here.
Well this is something on going. Because a while back you vile on your profile.
Grid pic, Mayo? Are we ever going to get a solution to that?
Mayo,
Were you there, too? You was following me and Solly, weren't you? That's why you're just now posting this. Uh-huh. I totally saw you throwing the metal up.
^_~
Hey everyone!!!
OH RW, I know!
My brain gets all fucked up, and in the end, I still don't know what the hell any of these posts actually mean! That grid post still gets me to this day too!
I mean, someone said if you look at it from far away, you see a boat? A BOAT?!Is Mayonaise trying to tell us he's a sailor?
We really do need the book entitled "Mayonaise interpretations for Dummies"
Ph when he said throwing his shadow I think he means he's showing this person what they want to see to fool them. So they will leave him alone.
And hello everyone who has returned.
Are you still hanging around, Mayo, or is it past your bedtime, time-change and all that?
That was alot of catching up, and then right when I do, new post!
It was funny.
A boat, PH?? I hadn't heard that one before! A hand still looks like the best bet, but who knows?
Martha, that makes much more sense. It's 1:46 am, and my brain is all jumbled.
=]
I'm saying the first thing that comes to mind, and that just happened to be it.
If I said the first thing that came to mind right now it'd be:
Peanuts.
Mayo's profile now says "Remote."
You forgot the "ditto", Mayo.
Just messing with ya.
Anyhoo....
Plus, I visted someone who is actually dying today, like soon, so maybe I'm not in the mood for your cryptic blogger pretentious shit, I apologize.
sdock - I am glad you enjoyed your concert!
kapunua - You looked beautiful in your lovely red dress. In response to your ability to desensitize to some degree while working with injured animals, if you could not, you'd probably go mad if you were a sensitive person, so it's good that you have that defense mechanism... Also, does Mayo's writing remind you of CJ's particularly the early posts and in tone if not wording...
ergo - I hope you read my comment at your place, I hope it helps. Did you enjoy your picnic? And I fixed the disposal. Yay for me!
Hi Martha! and everyone else!
Ph when he said throwing his shadow I think he means he's showing this person what they want to see to fool them. So they will leave him alone.
Hey! That's an excellent interpretation, MJ!
I swear RW, someone said a boat! I was confused!
Mayonaise; are you still around? If you are, hello. How are you Mr.Mayo? I bed you're in your pj's already; snuggled up in bed with a teddy bear that say's "I love Paperheart" ^_^
(wishful thinking right there.)
Remote, eh? Better than vile... I think.
You still hanging around, man?
Thanks, Miranth!
It really was a fantastic show.
Remote?
Yeah, I totally get that you're probably not talking about a tv remote but you have no idea how freaky that is.
I've been fighting with my 'remote for the last thirty minutes. GAAHHH!!!
carrie, I am so very sorry to hear that.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Carrie
:(
Remote = Secluded = Isolation = Alone = Lonely.
Mayonaise, are you feeling lonely? Orr, are you held captive on some remote island, and you're trying to fool your guards so you can escape?
(again, totally wrong Paperheart interpretation. ^_^)
Mayonaise; are you still around? If you are, hello. How are you Mr.Mayo? I bed you're in your pj's already; snuggled up in bed with a teddy bear that say's "I love Paperheart" ^_^
Everyone needs one of those, PH :)
Hello miranth, sd10, s&v20,carrie and entropy how are you?
Thank you ph and rw.
Are you alright carrie
That is terrible, Carrie. I'm so sorry.
Well, Mr. Naze....
You can deny all you want but I saw you rocking out to Bob Ritchie and I'm totally gonna out you.
Okay, maybe not. I hope you're okay, man.
Alrighty!!! I'm off to bed for a couple of hours anyway.
Love you all!
XOXO,
S&V20
Remote = Secluded = Isolation = Alone = Lonely.
At the risk of sounding flippant, if you're feeling alone then here's a good place to be. There's always someone hanging around your abode who's up for a chat.
Even if it's about vibrating panties.
Carrie, I'm terribly sorry. (thought I already posted that, but blogger ate my comment. )
I've been there. All I could do at the time, was stay strong for everyone around me. Don't let your emotions stay bottled up.
Or is remote as in we are not remotely close to figuring out what you mean?
Hey MJ!
'Night, S&V! :)
Thanks, you guys. It's my husband's godfather, and yeah, cancer, even sung about by a pretty little guy with a perfect nose, should not be romanticized. It sucks utter shit.
I'm with you on that, Carrie.
RW, I agree. Everyone does need one of those. =]
Ahem... I really hope Mayo didn't read the comments about my boobs being sore. As much as they are sore, I don't think a thirty-year-old man needs to hear that. :|
And that was not me with the vibrating panties comments. My body was invaded by aliens, and.. uhh.. they wanted you all to think that I had a dirty mind.. I am fifteen and not capable of thinking such dirty thoughts.
0_0
Sweet Dreams Princess!
Carrie, no matter what anyone says, no matter what Mr. Way sings about, cancer is never a good thing.
I might be in the same position as you right now, but my mother won't tell me the exact truth. No matter how close the person is to you, it still hits close to home and affects you. The most you can do is make sure that person knows how much you care about them.
Goodnight s&v20.
I wonder if remote could be someone pushing his buttons or that he is maybe going through the motions like he is like someone else is controlling him.
I don't know
Of course not, PH! You're as pure of thought as I was at 15!...
...
Ahem.
Haha..
I mean.. how could I think such things? Clearly, my body was inhabited with non-human beings with very dirty minds..
I wonder if remote could be someone pushing his buttons...
Sdock! I thought I warned you not to push too many of Mayonaise's buttons! =]
Ph, I certainly hope that your mother is ok, sorry to be a Debbie Downer in here tonight, I just got a bit smacked upside the head today and it gave me a bit of perspective, and made me terribly sad too.
I think Mayo may have turned in for the evening. I mean, if vibrating panties won't draw him out, then what will!
Mayo I'm not supposed to be here. I'm here at the computer while I'm supposed to be in the bathroom. How sad it it that I have to sneak to the computer to read your words? I wish to escape, I can't escape. I will never escape.
Hell I'll have to talk to you tomorrow when I can be me again.
The real me, not the one I'm being right now.
Carrie you have me at a loss of words. My mom die of cancer so it's hard for me to really think of anything to say about it that can comfort a person.
ph,
Damnit, I can't help myself!
Oh Carrie, not my mother. But my Auntie, who is my mom's sister. Sorry if it seemed that way. My mom won't tell me anything other than the cancer has spread, and I just don't want to ask my Auntie what's wrong.
It's alright Sdock, I mean, I learn from the best! ;)
Please tell me you didn't push the big shiny red button marked "I dare you!", did you??
Fimble Star said...
SS
I know I have already thanked you for your comments today but I wanted to tell you something.
I really hope that you know what your words and your presence means to the people in this little family, not just the people in blue but also the people who are under the anonymous name.
Your comment @ 11.36am today particularly stood out in more ways then one.
A friend of mine that I was fortunate to meet in this blog, whom has become a very good friend and one that I will keep in contact with, recently lost someone very dear to her. Her grandpa passed away last week, and I know that it is very hard to lose someone in your family. In this particular comment you stated “Never miss an opportunity to tell those you love how much they mean to you.” Well, my friend wasn’t really close to her grandpa but she wanted to be. She wanted to be closer and she wished she had told him how much she loved him, unfortunately though they were separated by living in different countries. When she read your comment, you made her cry just by simply using your words to help others. The words made her think of her situation with her grandpa and the memories that they had made when she was younger. she cant make more memories with him now but she can cherish the ones that remain in her mind and her heart.
You touched someone who needed to hear those words and with that she wants to say thank you. She hopes that you really do know what your words bring to this place and that she hopes you take your own advice and make your memories special. Cherish the ones you love and live life to the full. Remember everything about the ones you love and tell them as often as you can, how you really feel about them because you never know when you may never get to see, hear or touch them again.
Thank you for your words, and thank you for what you did for my friend. You have so much of my respect and I would like to call you my friend.
March 5, 2008 9:08 PM
Or the tempting yellow one marked "You know you want to!".
PH I'm have the same trouble with one of my Aunts. N one is sure what is wrong with her. And she isn't willing to tell the Dr what is wrong. So we can't help her.
RW,
I'll never tell.
Mayo, are you and your guard the same person?
Awhh Martha.
It's horrible to be in these sorts of situations.
=[
Thank you Ph It is such a shit situation.
Damn, Sdock! 0_0
MJ and PH, sorry on both your counts. Like I said, this is my husband's godfather, so he's not a blood relation, but he has been a huge part of our lives. My fave memory of him is on a video that Terry sent to introduce his family to mine, he's talking about his wife, he says she's his "melancholy baby" and then says she's got an ass like a melon, and a face like a collie, and then she smacks him and laughs. She died last year of emphysema, and now this, gah, sorry, I don't mean to be depressing, but he just really got me today, he looked almost like a baby or something, with the glassy eyes staring at something I couldn't see. And oh God, I should just really shut the fuck up, because I get all irritated when people are all dramatic on the blog, and here I am doing it.
*sigh*
It really is.
Every time I listen to "Cancer" I have a good cry. I just hate it so much to see the one's I love suffering. Especially feeling like I can't do anything to help.
ooops.... I kept hitting back and my possessed computer reposted the same comment :(
*****************************
One of my nieces has health problems. It's hard to deal with, especially when you see a child suffering, but I try not to borrow any pain from the future and to help her with medical treatments as best I can. And sometimes she gets better :D It makes me very happy to see and I have to appreciate those times...
Carrie, you don't need to apologize.
No matter how close the person is to you, blood related or not, it just really hurts when you know they won't make it. It's okay to be upset. It really is.
Carrie I know we say this a lot but one of the reasons we are here is for people to tell us when this stuff happens. So that they have an understanding ear or eyes in this case to hear them out in there time of need
Hear, hear Martha :)
Miranth, I've seen you comment before, yet I don't recall if we've ever talked. =]
So, hey. =]
Mayo,
Okay, so forgive me if I take this and run with it at 4am. I figure what the hell. My body is still on 3am time, right?
I get the feeling that this post is about you fighting with yourself. You, your shadow, and your guard.....Boy, I know how that feels. I fight with myselves constantly. I can never sleep without help. I struggle to say what needs to be said. Instead, I sometimes twist my words to benefit others. To keep from rocking the boat. I hate that about myself. Being my own prisoner sucks ass. And you're right, I always arrive back at the same place. The only difference is that minutes have ticked off my life. Am I wiser? Have I learned my lessons? Apparently not.
Relive and repeat. Replay and rehearse. Relive and repeat. Over and over. Start again. Same beginning...same ending.
Yet...we always hope that this time it will be different. Right?
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. We can't keep running.
WOW! We are all vampires tonight!
Mayo,
You sound so frustrated.
Your post reminded me of parts of the short story "The Yellow Wallpaper", by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. Well, I mean the idea of the main character feeling trapped, not the idea that she had undiagnosed post partum depression. It made me melancholy.
Thank you miranthI sorry about your
niece
Thanks, you guys, I do appreciate it, seriously.
Carrie, like MJ said, that's why we are here. =]
For each other.
Hey Star! =]
Hell's bells, is that the time?? Yegads! Time for me to crawl into bed, I think.
Thank you for the new venue, Mayo :) SS, thank you for coming by when you can. You brighten up the place better than saffron-coloured curtains!
Have a good night, all! :)
Oh! Hullo there, Star! :)
Hello star
Sweet Dreams Sdock.
Really, you and I are lots alike. =]
I believe I should go as well. The pot of coffee has worn off, and I'm getting sleepy. =]
Everyone have a great night.
I still think that this post is representing the fact that Mr. Mayo-man is beating himself up over something. We all do it. Just remember, don't regret anything in life. You learn from your mistakes. No matter how many times your mistakes are repeated, you always learn from it.
Good night everyone!
xoxo
- 007
<3
Good evening, Miss RW.
Hey PH!
Carrie, don't apologize. We've all been there.
Goodnight RW
Hello and goodnight, Marthajones.
I'm turning in too.
Goodnight all.
Goodnight Ph
Good night Resurrected Wreck!
You being in Toronto, I imagine it must be around 4:30!!
Wow, I hate daylight-savings!
I used to think that it referred to some sort of banking thing. Silly PH! =]
Goodnight everyone!
Mayonaise; I hope you are snuggling up with your special "I love Paperheart" teddy bear right now! ;)
SS, I miss you tons. Even if we've never spoken, you have said some stuff that has meant a lot to me.
Sweet dreams guys;
- 007
P.S. Don't let the monsters get you. =]
Ooohh and goodnight to Star! =]
<3
Goodnight star
Goodnight you guys, thanks for listening!
Goodnight PH! It's nice to meet you! I am sorry about your aunt, too.
You're welcome Martha :)
Goodnight all - I am going to bed too. :) sweet dreams.
Mayo - I hope you can have sweet dreams too, despite all.
hello anyone about
and hello mayo
I caught a couple of fish had some nice wine and cheese etc by the creek and a little padde, the others swam while I fished
Ccarrie cancer sux I very much agree, I have a friend who's gonna be beaten one dayby it and another I taught has just had a really bad diagnosis. Nothing really helps.
Goodnight Carrie take care of yourself
Inside this new love...die
Your way begins on the other side
Become the sky
Take an axe to the prison wall
Escape
Walk out like someone born into color
DO IT NOW
You're covered with a thick cloud
Slide out the side
Die...and be quiet
Quietness is the surest sign that you have died
Your old life was frantic running away from silence
The speechless full moon comes out now
Nice to meet you too Miranth. =]
Thank you very much.
In the end, I know that things will be alright. Everything always turns out to be fine in the end. =]
SS, the thought occurs that I don't think I ever properly thanked you for editing your birthday story last year to include me. Seriously, that put a smile on my face that lasted all day. Thank you :)
And now, to bed. 'Night, all!
Goodnight Miranth.
Hello Ep
Ohh and i must say hello to EP. =]
<3
Really I am off. I think. ;)
miranth I did see it at Mayo's but thanks so much for reposting it, they are trying behaviour modification at the moment and fingers crossed it'll be beneficial
Reading back to the older posts, I realize how straight-forward those blogs actually are.
In times of desperate measures; we over-analyze. In two months time, we'll look back to this very post and say "So that's what he meant; that's what Mayonaise was getting at!"
Okay, I'm gone. =]
goodnigt PH
hi again MJ RW
I'm cooling dinner so won't be on but mayo's post is interesting and well written, great imagery don't you think?
so now he escaped his jailer he's waiting for a new one?
and why remote?
distant geographically.?.emotionally?
he's a conundrum isn't he?!
cooking - it's chilli and chorizo pasta so def not cool
I'd wondered, EP!
Okay, off now... 'Night :)
I'll be up for a little while. but i will be back and forth
And a hush descends...
Oh wait, I'm in bed...
*scuttles off*
Good morning/night Mayo, SS, Martha, RW, Miranth, Carrie, Paperheartxx...anyone else lurking.
I have just returned home and I was just about to go ‘knock-knock’ on Mayo’s door/last post to see if he was okay.
I think I have my answer.
Mayo said…
“I am filthy and filled with an untenable relapse in reason. I reek of the ruinous stench of revolt. I am vile.”
Now, stop that Mr. Mayonaise, please! Self loathing is not good, not good at all!
I know what you mean about feeling as though you’re a prisoner. I had to go out tonight/escape. I had not been out for 2 weeks (I did promise to stay home for that long). I was getting cabin fever, going stir crazy, getting fidgety …….It was horrible!
Well, I went out; got my fix of live music and now I feel much better. Reinvigorated, rejuvenated (from my rest) and relaxed.
I hope you manage to break free of your prison, your sentries, your chains Mayo. Use they key Mayo…..
You have it, don’t you? Or did you misplace it? Do you need help finding it?
Hmm……perhaps you should ask those you trust for a little help.
Is that pendulum swinging to the beats of time OR the death march?
You leave us with so many questions……
Carrie: I’m so sorry to hear about you husband’s godfather. Cancer and Alzheimer’s rob people of SO MUCH. How I wish someone would find a cure for those two diseases….
FAST! *big hug*
Ergo: How was the fishing expedition? You didn’t fall in the creek, did ya?
Martha: I need the web address for those panties. I’m getting a headache! ;-)
To ponder today:
```````````````````````````````````
Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them -- and then, the opportunity to choose.
C Wright Mills
``````````````````````````````````
May we all make the right choices - for our own health and well being - today…
Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy
HI also to the possibly soon to arrive FASC, Kass and Possum!!!
Hello 6.
It is 1:13 am here and I need some rest.
So goodnight anyone and all who are here.
Oh noooo.....I've run everyone off AGAIN.
I'm sorry Mayo! It's all those darn questions I ask, ain't it?
Goodnight Martha and sweet dreams to you. You too Mayo and any lurkers!
mayonaise
Who posted the sentry? Perhaps it is a hoax?
Hello everyone
I would like to to dedicate this song
to mayonaise, ss and all who come here...
whatever their reason
I think the lyrics somewhat reflect
November Rain
When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
November Rain video: Guns N' Roses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bwu7ixmQk0c
I wish you for you all, spirit to reach out
touch something and make it your own
`sc
hello SC Wendy
goodnight MJ and RW
has anyone seen the series Jekyll? Watching the last episodes tonight, v creepy
SC I really like November Rain especially the "everybody needs somebody " part, Hoping you are well and the grief is easing.
holding you all in my thoughts
Mayo
are you a prisoner? Is the guard someone else or of your own making?
Regardless I hope you have enjoyed placing your thoughts for us to share. I actually really liked the way it read.
So wishing freedom release caution and love to you and yours
much love
EP xx
SS
hoping you and your loved ones are well, thinking fondly of you always
lotsa love
EP xx
everyone else have a great day. I am tired,full, relaxed and absorbed in a tv series!Nothing better!!
goodnight all
..and I didn't fall in Wendy :)
good morning mayo!
well one thing for sure you are making me have a little think on a sunday morning!!
i am taking this to be about you. is this all you think you deserve? do you do this to yourself? are you the guard also? are you resigned to this?
I am filthy and filled with an untenable relapse in reason. I reek of the ruinous stench of revolt. I am vile.
so you are still vile. do you hate yourself that much? and now you are remote. is there no one for you mayo? no one that understands the real you? do you really want anyone to?
lots of questions sorry. i don't want them answered it's ok, i am just thinking outloud.
"pendulum" - so this is the way it will be forever mayo? it will never stop. do you even want it to?
anyway thank you for the words mayo. even if it paints a sad and bleak picture, i love the way you write and i love reading what you choose to share with us.
*big squeeze*
that's better!
mornin SS!! hope you are have a lovely relaxing sunday! take care my friend!
and good morning to my lovely blogbelieve family!!
hope you all have fun days with your loved ones.
i can't stop i am off to my mum's for lunch but will be back later!
hi/bye to the morning gang!
Good morning Mayo, SS, the morning crew, absent friends, and lurkers not having a Sunday lie-in.
Would you like to come over for dinner? LOL
Um, thank you Elena, but unfortunately I have to graciously decline your kind offer because...because...um...
*takes 616's advice and runs*
*runs FAST*
Sounds like you had the kind of day that I would be so into.
Kapunua,
I actually thought of you and how much you would enjoy Pasifika while I was there!
Anyone bored by island dancing please skip the following =)
Did you see any good Hula / Tahitian / Samoan dances?
You bet. I love the dancing!
Each Island village has their own stage that performers appear on over the eight hours. I follow the beat of the drums and move from stage to stage.
The Tahitians brought over their foremost choreographer with them this year. They had her perform, and then instruct the crowd in a routine. She was amazing. You would have loved that.
Great as the Tahitians are, my favourite performers, for grace of movement, are the Cook Islanders. Their hand and arm work is stunning. They also outshake Shakira, with shoulders remaining perfectly centred and those coconuts don't budge a bit.
*slow moment realisation*
Kiribati dancers are LOUD, clapping and slapping hard woven mats around their hips. Very strongly physical and probably just a little chafed.
The Samoans are an essential for the men's performances. Yes, to the slapping. As an aside Samoans have the most amazing tattoos out of all the island groups that attend. Many of the men have pe'a from just above their hips to down their thighs, with a few down to their ankles. The endurance of pain is astounding.
You would have such a great day there!
By the way, you looked beautiful for your Ocean Of Ho event. They were lovely photos.
And...was there a LeatherMouth video you wanted us to see by chance? lol
Frank sure sings/screams like he plays - with full passion and committment to what he is feeling from the music, and just a little O_O as well.
Socky and Princess, so great you had a good time at the concert. Three hours performing is fantastic.
*pauses*
*hears opening notes of The Clash - Rock The Casbah from the TV*
Eek, loved The Clash.
*skedaddles away from Mayo's to sing and howl along*
Oh, and Mayo, please learn to love yourself just a little.
I know you have some good qualities. You just have to learn to acknowledge that side of yourself. Self deprecating or not.
SS, Whatever you are doing today I hope it is a Sensational Sunday for you.
*waves bye again*
There's a lot here. I'm trying to absorb it all, but I think I need a couple of more reads.
I don't know what it is about this post that I find absolutely captivating. I have this clear visual in my mind at this moment. I don't get that much with these posts.
I throw my shadow against the wall.
This sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I totally thought of Peter Pan haha. Love it.
Take care of yourself, love.
SS, I hope you know to this day I still read what you wrote to me for the very first time. It means a great deal to me. You have a beautiful heart.
Thank you so much.
So Mayo, your conscience is keeping you in check? And I believe you are actually happy about that but naturally there is always the little devil on the shoulder promising relief if another path is taken.........
Oh, and you didn't forget to move the time one hour ahead!
Huzzah!
Mayo, I hope this morning finds you in a much better state of mind than you were in when you wrote this post. My wish for you is that you would find inner-peace and learn to love yourself. Easier said than done, I know. Please talk to someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling.
Mayo... I wish I could hug you.
I've gotten myself in a very bad situation, which reminds me what a fool I am.
Weak and pathetic.
You'd all be so ashamed of me.
God, I hope you're all well.
xoxo cupcake
Wow, I'm not even sure really where to begin. Ah, I got it.
Mayo? You ever thought about purchasing that guard of your some vibrating undies to keep him occupied while you slip away? Kidding, but a sore attempt at making you laugh.
So, my first thought was why you're so hard on yourself, why you claim to be so filthy and vile. But, in all likelihood, you just feel like you are and there's really no rhyme or reason.
Being remote sometimes helps, don't you think? It allows you the time to evaluate and rearrange. But, there's always this imaginary threshold into the realization that it's too remote. Thinking stops. Evalution ceases. Then you're left with a need, an hunger, a drive. But, you don't know how to silence it. I hope you haven't crossed yet.
And of course, I always return to the same place.
Yes, but atleast there's a light glowing in your room.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cuppycake
Carrie and PH:
I'm very sorry. I wish that I knew what to say, but I don't. I never do in these situations.
Carrie,
The look you described, I've seen that look. It's probably the hardest one to stomach. I stood and watched as my cousin told her he loved her, and I watched her eye lids slowly open, her gaze glossy, and she said I love you back to him, and watching him walk out of the room, tears streaming down his face, has been one of the events forever painted on my heart and mind.
The look in her eyes was so hard to comprehend, yet so beautiful.
PH,
I hope that everything will work out and that the doctors will do their very best to treat your aunt. It's a horrible disease, but one that can be annihilated, and I'm hoping it will be for your Aunt.
All my love, you guys. You know we're here if you need to talk.
Good morning everyone. First I would like to register my utter hatred for Daylight Savings. It's retarded and useless. When I get up for work now, it's going to be dark SO REALLY NO DAYLIGHT HAS BEEN SAVED WHATSOEVER. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. Hope you all managed a good sleep last night anyway. :)
*cough*
Miranth: Thank you. Yeah, I have been lately wishing that I could remember the URL to CJ's old page and re-read some of that stuff. I know she deleted, but there is always the wayback machine.
Does anyone remember CJ's blogger URL or name?
Star said...
Your post reminded me of parts of the short story "The Yellow Wallpaper", by Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
I LOVE that story. Love the idea, love the feminist angst, love the prose, and the narration steals the show. The short, tense paragraphs. I wasn't thinking of that story when I read this post, but yeah, juts want to say, great story.
Princess and Sdock: So glad you had a good time last night! ^_^
PP said:
You bet. I love the dancing!
Each Island village has their own stage that performers appear on over the eight hours. I follow the beat of the drums and move from stage to stage.
That sounds like a day in heaven!
The Tahitians brought over their foremost choreographer with them this year. They had her perform, and then instruct the crowd in a routine.
Do you happen to remember her name? ^_^
As an aside Samoans have the most amazing tattoos out of all the island groups that attend. Many of the men have pe'a from just above their hips to down their thighs, with a few down to their ankles. The endurance of pain is astounding.
I know, it's so hot. And the way they do the tattooes, too! Not in a parlor, that's for sure. ^_^ Oh man, so awesome.
By the way, you looked beautiful for your Ocean Of Ho event. They were lovely photos.
Thank you. :)
mustardisbetter said...
Mayo? You ever thought about purchasing that guard of your some vibrating undies to keep him occupied while you slip away?
This is why I love you! ^_^
Yes, but atleast there's a light glowing in your room.
My ass?
Mayo, this post is pretty hot. Not what you are going for I'm sure, but well, there ya go. I know you weren't trying to appeal to the hopefully well-hidden "Oh the poor dear!" part of my psyche but you drew that simpering bitch out, damn you. (MEFFERS, STFU. I MEAN THIS. ;D ) Anyway. This is like Link and Dark Link (and by the way, thank you for the image of you making out with yourself. No really, thank you.) Well I'll tell you, here's what you have to do: Beat him with a sledgehammer. Honestly, it's the only thing that will work, or at least that's how it worked for Link with Dark Link.
I'm glad you took down "VILE" (although you are still saying so; guess it's not our lot to change your mind,) but "remote" is only a slightly nicer place to be. Unless you meant like the TV remote. In which case, that must be cool. You could like, change the channels with your mind.
S(S)S, a thousand hugs and orange blossoms to you and your family today. No reason, just because. A thousand hugs and orange blossoms. You. Your entire family. A thousand. ^_^
I HOPE EVERYONE SAW THE NEW LEATHERMOUTH VIDEO. If you haven't, say so and I will repost the link.
You know? I'm such a dork. Here and I'm telling Mayo "Oh hey, quit being so mean to yourself, you're not vile, blah blah" and the same thing to anyone who will listen, about you know, "love yourself, don't beat yourself up, don't listen to the negative things other people try to tell you about yourself," etc. and yet, I can't even look in the mirror on most days. I like me an awful lot and I fully own that I am just like, overflowing with talent of all sorts, (^_~) but damned if I can even look in the mirror without thinking "Eww. Vile."
So I should STFU or walk the walk, I guess. Sorry for being preachy. ^_^
Also, this post reminds me of Poe. Not only because of the pendulum reference, just the overall vibe and style.
Here and I'm telling Mayo "Oh hey, quit being so mean to yourself, you're not vile,[...] "love yourself, don't beat yourself up, don't listen to the negative things other people try to tell you about yourself," etc. and yet, I can't even look in the mirror on most days.
Humans.
We suck. ;)
No, I totally get that, because I'm a dork that does it, too. I can't take my own advice, yet I expect someone else to, or hope that they would. It's always easier said than done.
Ain't it always the case, Splash.
'Kay, one more thing then I'll leave, honestly.
My screams he silences with his lips pressed full against my mouth.
Mayo, the next time this happens, could you like, have a camera ready or something? Just 'cause I am a visual creature and like, the artistic visual part of my brain and... yeah. You get it. :D
I miss Fim.
Okay, out. ^_^
hi MIB and K and anyone else.
its always easier to give advice than take it.
and its even harder to actually act on that advice.
i kid myself that by giving my advice to some one else i am making myself better also, but in reality it's me just being a coward and focusing on some one else so that i don't have to focus on myself.
Goodbye, Jules!
i kid myself that by giving my advice to some one else i am making myself better also, but in reality it's me just being a coward and focusing on some one else so that i don't have to focus on myself.
I don't know if it's like this for everyone, but it is for me.
And that's exactly the reason. It is cowardly. It's also easier. And not only that, it's sometimes hard to fix yourself.
Mayo,
It’s so hard to be helpful when the ghosts that hunt you are the same as mine.
Try Mayo, try to escape from those ghosts. Try to break free from those chains. Pretending to be that shadow on the wall will not help,even if you do it for love. It only will make you feel miserable, eventually.
What are you afraid of,Mayo? That pendulum? Is it because it reminds you everyday time goes by and you’re letting your life slipping through your fingers without trying to take the control? Or maybe is it because its relentless swinging seems to suggest you are doomed to go back to your original spot, no matter how hard you try to run away?
What about a digital clock, Mayo?Just kidding, dude. ^_^
It’s never too late, though. You can still change it and be happy. You have to do it.
And maybe when you do that, that guard will leave your side silently,with a smile on his lips. Because he will know his job as your admonitory conscience is over and you’re ready to face life as the real yourself.
Or, if that guard represent all those people who have pinned you against that bed, well then I want you to kick their asses very, VERY badly.
I see a man with a lot of fears and doubts, but also with a beautiful, strong and caring soul. Definitely not a filthy,vile man. Just a human being.
Mustard is right: you are who you are,Mayo. The ones who really love you will never ask you to be someone different.
WE will never ask you to be someone different.
Take care.
Love to you.
Good morning Family and SS!
Wish you all a great Sunday.
I have to go now, but hopefully I’ll see you later.
Love you all!
*HUGS & KISSES*
PS: Carrie and PH, you’re both in my thoughts.
Hey errbody!
It's Sunday! NASCAR raceday! Hot damn!
Ok, anyhoo.....
Mayo,
If it's worth anything, we don't think you are vile at all. Not from what you've shown us here anyway. Just let go every once in a while and have some fun, okay? Have a great Sunday afternoon.
SS!
Man oh man, you should have seen me and Sdock last night! We had soooo much fun and you would have laughed so hard at us. Just get a mental picture of ten thousand people screaming "Walk This Way" with Kid Rock and Reverend Run from Run DMC. Classic. It was unbelievable. Wherever you are man, I hope you're still doing great and all is well. Come and swing by when you have a chance okay? Things seem to be pretty quiet around these parts lately. Have a great day, week, month and all that and let your light shine wherever you go, okay?
Love you all! See you later!
XOXO,
S&V20
And that's exactly the reason. It is cowardly. It's also easier. And not only that, it's sometimes hard to fix yourself.
i know MIB!! aint it the truth!
hi princess! so glad you had such a brilliant time. its good to get out and let your hair down once in a while!
bella loved what you wrote there! see you around.
Mayo, dude, I'm totally engulfed by this post.
I keep coming back to it. It feels familiar. Maybe because my turning point involved a wide-eyed me, in bed, watching light play on the wall opposite myself, and a startling realization.
Present tense and terse with (only) myself.
But, why? Don't you deserve more than just a yes or no answer? Don't you deserve a future? Have you learned from the past? It isn't just here and now, Mayo. It's all the time. What you do now decides your future, so if you must always live in the now, make wise decisions.
Or maybe you're just like the rest of us, and have answers for everyone but yourself.
You deserve more. You shouldn't have to crawl. But, when there's no other choice, I hope with all that's in me you have someone there to give you knee-pads and safety goggles from flying debris. I hope you have someone like that.
For SS and you all:
We were talking - about the space between us all
And the people - who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late - when they pass away.
We were talking - about the love we could all share - when we find it
To try our best to hold it there - with our love
With our love - we could save the world - if they only knew.
Try to realize it's all within yourself
No-one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small,
And life flows on within you and without you.
We were talking - about the love that's gone so cold and the people,
Who gain the world and lose their soul -
They don't know - they can't see - are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself -
Then you may find peace of mind, is waiting there -
And the time will come when you see we're all one,
And life flows on within you and without you.
Thank you for showing us.
I keep coming back to it too, Splash. But it's because I have a dirty mind. Aren't we going to have quite the AIM chat tonight, dears? ^_~
I'm back from grocery shopping and--yes Mayo--I also got Super Smash. Oh man, if you were here I'd kick your ass so hard. ;D
Got stuffs to do, later guys! Have fun! :D
Mayo
I've read your latest post over and over. The visual imagery haunts me. The only thing I can say is to me it speaks of a self-imposed prison. You allow yourself for whatever reason to be captured and held there. This may not be true in your case. It is in mine. I allow myself to be gagged and bound by the belief that I am doing what is right for others. I hide in the belief that it can be no other way. I just keep telling myself that it has to be this way.
ETA: GOtta love the fansheep at Verita's who are insisting that Gerard's "moan for me ladies" thing is "expected" and "a joke" and that he's just "acknowledging lust."
Jackasses.
I also love the fact that Love Man's blog has kind of faded into non-existence, but Verita and the comments there still get the fansheep bleating. ^_^
I just went to VV's.
There's no point in me saying anything there anymore. This has hit an all new level of delusion.
*lightbulb!*
I have a feeling, K, that if Gerard started pissing on the audience as part of the show the fansheep would find a way to justify that too. The boy can do no wrong in their eyes, which is a good thing neither for them nor Gerard.
Are you a swinger?
Just joshing with ya ;D
I reek of the ruinous stench of revolt. I am vile.
What is with the self-loathing? Vile? No, you are not. You will only believe that you are if you continue to convince yourself. I see a work-in-progress, and that is a wonderful thing.
And of course, I always return to the same place. They will eventually find me and post a new sentry. Perhaps the next will be somewhat entertaining.
If you return to the same place over and over, maybe it is because a part of you wants to, because it is so much simpler than trying to find a way to escape your inner prison. If you are searching for that freedom, you are not trying hard enough. You are allowing the ghosts to take precedence. Try to find some solid ground, and perhaps, you can find a way to be free
No point analyzing this post, everybody has said most of the things I would have said.
So, either you've been watching 1960s horror films or you've discovered the joys of dodgy rave music.
Please say it's the former.
Hi BC, it's good to see you :)
I can't stop I'm afraid, I'm in the middle of doing the tea.
Come around again, you've been missed.
BC, it's nice to see your name again. :)
If you return to the same place over and over, maybe it is because a part of you wants to, because it is so much simpler than trying to find a way to escape your inner prison.
I think you're right.
It's comfort. It's predictable, both good and bad. It's safe.
---
GS, hello, goodbye!
Hi GS. I miss you too. Enjoy your tea, love.
Surprising, I have come to sincerely miss you as well Mayonaise, including your cryptic ways.
I wish you weren't feeling so remote. I don't like it.
Most of us didn't miss you at all BC. it was nicer (and smarter sounding here) when you were at your secret blog with the OPS and the others just talking about every one here. You should go away again. We knew you would be back with your stupidity and we know the OPS will be back to with their obsession with Frank and their finger pointing. It's only a matter of time now before the idiocy and the hatred start up again. You guys are all the ones who bring it here.
Hey there mustard, thank you. It's good to see you again.
I hate daylight savings time. It's only 1:16 and I am already feeling wiped.
Anyways, see you guys later. Got some zombies that need blasting.
Oh shut up "anon"
BC, do you have any original thoughts in your head at all? No, you just copy what everybody else says.
"Anon" I did not came here to start anything, only to offer my own advice.
of course they will be back, how could they stay away for their babydoll ss? their precious? they won't leave not as long as ss still comes here.
Anon,
Ever thought that someone found comfort in those words?
nope.
Then you're not paying very good attention.
Have a nice day. I hope someone out there says something that means anything to you one day.
There is no comfort in recycled cliches. BC only copies things that everyone else says even if she tries to change the words a little. As for the OPS and the others they will NEVER stay gone. They'll see that they don't get the attention they need so bad at their secret blog and they will come back. They'll say things like 'Oh we're so sorry' but they'll also say that it wasn't their fault and they'll whine about being 'kicked out' and still try to blame everyone else around. It has happened so many times before and it will happen again. That other anon was right, as long as SS is possibly coming around agian they will never leave and as long as they never leave they are going to bring trouble. They were the anons the other day getting on Mayo's case about not having as many regulars as he used to. BC is a lot of anons too because she needs the attention. People like her and the others will never stay away for ever. They like to storm out of here complaining and whining then they hope that someone will beg them to come back and say 'oh we missed you so much!!!' when they do. And everyone always plays right up to them. It's pathetic.
how could they stay away for their babydoll ss? their precious?
Hahaha you made them sound like Gollum. I can picture that.
ss will never beg them to come back. he never liked them anyway and who could blame him. they say they love him so much but that didn't stop them pissing all over him several times. dude doesn't deserve or need shit like that.
Anon 2:35
Don't act like you know me. First of all, if I have something to say, at least I don't act like a coward and hide behind anonymous like chickenshit in order to say things. I don't work that way. Never have, never will. I have a username and when I have to talk about things, I will say it using my blog name.
Second, your attempt at trying to push and bully everyone out of this blog for your own selfish needs is way too obvious "anon" and third, with the way you speak I have no doubt in my mind that you're a regular here.
And fourth, this blog is open to everyone regardless if you don't like that person. If you don't like the, -IGNORE them. How hard is that for you to comprehend?
And don't try to bully me into leaving. I came here to help mayo and the Blog family. You don't matter, and I feel sorry for you.
Oh how nice attack of the ANON'S
Why don't you just keep your negative thoughts to yourself? Do you really think anyone wants to hear your endless whining shit? Same song different tune. Didn't your mama's ever tell you that if you didn't have something nice to say then just shut the fuck up?
Nope, guess not.
BC I've been worried about you. I'm glad to see you back.
Hi elena. It's good to see you again. I hope you're alright.
I'm okay BC. Dealing with each day the best I can. How have you been?
Didn't anyone ever tell the OPS to quit their whining? Because they are the whiniest ones here. "OH SS how could you desert us, we thought you loved us!!!" Looks like they can do no wrong in your eyes. BC AND the OPS were and still are anonymous on here all the time. The OPS just got caught. And BC is just obvious when she does it.
The idea of BC's stupid cliche thoughts actually HELPING anyone is funny. Hallmark cards work better at helping people than BC.
Actually you are all pathetic. At first you all came here because you were disappointed in Gerard and concerned about him and now look, you all kiss Mayo's ass. You are just as much of fangirls as you say the Mcrmy is.
Mayo, run like hell and stop going back to the same place. That way they won't find you and maybe you'll find your voice again.
I've got a big purple couch that has saved many a soul, including mine. You're welcome to slip into the comfort and safety of it.
Anon 3:02
Your comment only shows how delusional and how desperate you are to find anything in order to fuel the fire. You know what's funny is how you anons didn't deny the fact that I said you were one of the regulars.
Anon 3:03
Perhaps you are jealous. Trying is better than not trying at all my dear.
"Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don't want."
Hi jen
Hi BC
"You think that the goal is to be over there, and we say the goal is the journey over there; the goal is the fun you have along the way on your way to over there."
Hi rw
"You will always, almost always, most of you, choose negative emotion over no emotion. Because emotion indicates desire. It's exciting!"
Hullo, BC! :D It's nice to see you back around these parts :)
Hello everyone!
Long time, no see!
Anon
I can honestly say the hatred you spew is sorta getting old. I can't imagine how you must feel. Does it make you feel better to try to hurt others? Does it? Maybe you hate others so much because you hate yourself and want them to feel the way you feel. Either way, there is nothing I can say that will make you stop. That you have proven time and time again. So spew on little Anon, spew on. Just know that your constant insults are losing there shock value. We've come to expect them.
It has nothing to do with shock value. It's' the truth that no one wants to hear.
RW, thank you. Its good to see you again. I missed ya'll so much. Hello my lovely pancake-zilla, how are you? *hugs*
Hi Elena!
How is it going?
*is watching 'Troy' with a sexy Brad Pitt*
Aww, BC! *big bear hug*
I'm doing fine. I'm well fed and no threat to you lovely ladies here, hehe.
How are you, dear?
Hi Siobhan, Elena, unhappy anon :)
It's sick how you all suck up to Mayo and kiss his ass now. And how you all suck up to each other pretending to like each other. When most of the time you can't stand each other. There's so much ass kissing here it makes me feel sick.
Hello, RW!
How are you?
*is watching 'Troy' with a very unsexy Orlando Bloom*
"The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But, if you don't feel really good on your way to there, you can't get there. You have to be satisfied with what-is while you're reaching for more."
Anon,
Your version of truth is twisted and distorted.
Did you just say the words "unsexy" and "Orlando Bloom" in the same sentence??
0_0
No BC, you really are just an idiot.
So, why don't you just choke on your own vomit then, anon?
"A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life."
I accidentally found something of Mayo's somewhere else and I think he knows about it. He made a hint towards me about it. I don't know who to tell. I know now how he feels about some of you people. it was a mistake but I was curious. I don't know what to do.....
"The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But, if you don't feel really good on your way to there, you can't get there. You have to be satisfied with what-is while you're reaching for more."
This sounds really good and so true, RW.
And yes, Orlando Bloom = Not sexy.
Do you think he's sexy?
I think Viggo Mortensen is sexier, Siobhan, but I do think OB has something.
"A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life."
So true, indeed!
"You are the vibrational writers of the script of your life, and everyone else in the Universe is playing the part that you have assigned to them."
Big bear hugs for my pancake-zilla *hugs*
I'm glad you're well-fed today. I'm doing alright, just blasting some zombies. It's my first day back here ^_^
Hey unhappy anon, caring about someone does not constitute as ass-kissing. How is caring about someone counts as kissing their ass? That's annoying. As far as pretending to be nice to each other goes, I actually have no problems befriending people here and caring about them.
anonymous said...
It's sick how you all suck up to Mayo and kiss his ass now. And how you all suck up to each other pretending to like each other. When most of the time you can't stand each other. There's so much ass kissing here it makes me feel sick.
Well, how about you kiss my ass? If you don't like it here, why don't you leave?
Never watched 'Lord of the Rings'. Don't know why.
Brad Pitt is only sexy in 'Interview with the Vampire' and 'Troy'.
Orlando is cute in 'Pirates of the Caribbean'.
It's sick how you all suck up to Mayo and kiss his ass now. And how you all suck up to each other pretending to like each other. When most of the time you can't stand each other. There's so much ass kissing here it makes me feel sick.
well fuck off then!
I wasn't here for a while, as well.
Have some of you heard about Patrick Swayze? That makes me sad!
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