I am captive and captured in stills, recalled and rendered in sepia toned illusion. My skin is translucent and tangible only to those with clever eyes and a mangled perception. It is there, hovering above birthdays, anniversaries, doctor appointments, and due dates that you will find me, a constant reminder to offer best wishes and maintain schedule. It seems strange to consider that someone would be ticking off days in such a way, counting down to events that I will never attend.
I am usually inspired while I do my ticking, but that does not happen very often. It is rarely with me, and I often forget…tick, tick, tick.
I am absent, and days go by while I forget. But I am drawn out soon enough. The need to move among the living, shoulder to shoulder, pulls me from my daydream. I must be just in reach. Then I wander off for a coffee, and I am reminded again, my impulsive progression brought to a screeching halt by an unfamiliar voice. The sinister tone still rings my ears “Hey motherfucker you got anything real to say?” I never do. I will though, and I will smile when I say it. “Too bad you missed it prick.”
Now that I have had a good breather, stretched my legs, and fashioned myself a clever new suit, I will attempt to remember to tick off the days.
There are things that I have yet to say, ears I have yet to perk. Shall I scream?
p.s. strange days.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
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955 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 955 Newer› Newest»hi faraway, I´m good how about you??? :)
Hi DG, faraway, sd10. How are you guys? DG, so you were the one who was drunk last night? ;)
sdock thanks so much for the slobbery kiss. Haven't had one of those in days.
Why are you all wet?
hi elena, how are you? *hugs*
Hey Pixie * hugs right back at you*
I'm home now and happy to be here.
Hi Elena. Well guys, I have to go. I'll be back later. Take care. hugs and bat kisses!
xoxo
hi elena,pixie,sdock,RW,BC anyone else. i'm good thank you very much.
Mayo,
Good to hear you're doing well, love. You know we really like it when you stay for a chat. Just keep in mind that you can always be honest with us. We like to help out. Not that you're not being honest, but I'm just sayin', y'know?
The Sepia tone. One of my personal favs. That old-time look, yeah? Love it.
You and your 'ticking'. You've got me thinking with that one. What happened to the buzzing? I'm still looking for some inspiration.
Screaming? It doesn't get your voice heard. I'm so tired of screaming. I guess I need some advice of my own.
Anyway, thanks again. You win for asking Magic Pie the question. Really put a smile on my face.
SS,
How've you been, love? I still miss you. I really hope we'll run into each other one of these days, yeah? You always know how to make someone's day. Thank you for everything you've done for us. Much love to you.
Hey guys. How's it going?
bye bc take care *hugs*
hi ctv how are you?
Hey there CTV. Take care pixie *big hugs* I'll see you guys later.
bye BC and hi CTV!!
Hey FASC, Pixie. Bye BC, take care.
Hey FASC and CTV
Sometimes I feel bad I can't have initials. LOL
CTV I really liked what you said to Mayo about his post. I'm still reading it. Something about it keeps nagging at me. I'm still giving it thought.
Sorry, BC.
Had to go for a bit.Yeah,I was a little giddy last night!
Didn't actually drink much....lack of sleep and food I think,oh well!
Hello Elena, and DG.
Elena, thank you. I know what you mean. I find myself reading this one over and over.
hello all! and DG too.nice to read you and miss T last night.
elena i would be interested to hear your take on mayos latest post. it made me feel sad. i related to him in parts and it made me feel proper sad, tear in the eye shit you know?? just seemed desperately sad to me. like he is unworthy of experiencing things others may be take for granted. i dunno he seemed so shut off from reality. ugh!! its hard to put into words but anyway i would be interested in what you think.
CTV I know what you mean. I think I've read this post more than any other. I wish I could put my finger on what is bothering me about it.
I was glad he stayed a bit and talked. He seemed okay. I hope he really is okay.
I want him to be okay. I don't know if he really is okay.
FASC when I figure it out (if I figure out) I will definitly let you know. Man, this is so strange. I just have such a strange feeling about this post.
Hello ladies.
(and gents, of course!)
hi katherine, how are you? :)
from reading through the comments after he posted and even his comments, i don't know may be its just me, but i don't think he's ok at all. don't want to be dramatic but i don't. bless him i worry too much, its the maternal instict i seem to have had for ever but it feels crazy strong for mayo. fucking stupid i know but i can't help it.
hello KD i'm not often around with you. hope you are ok.
yes we are worrying about the man in the tower!!
Okay here is one thought about his post. If you consider the possibility that he is in a round about way (so Mayo) talking about this blog it's sorta sad. He hovers above all our chatter about birthdays, anniversaries, doctors appointments ect.
“It seems strange to consider that someone would be ticking off days in such a way, counting down to events that I will never attend.”
He says that usually he is inspired by our chatter but then in the same sentence it's like he isn't always and it worries him. He's absent and starts to forget but then is drawn back. Just like we are to him.
“The sinister tone still rings my ears “Hey motherfucker you got anything real to say?” I never do. I will though, and I will smile when I say it. “Too bad you missed it prick.”
Okay this is the part that bothers me. It sounds as though he is questioning his worth to us. Not because of what we say but outsiders. It makes him angry, perhaps hurt.
So he fashions himself a new suit. He tried to reinvent himself. Still he listens and ticks off the days.
“There are things that I have yet to say, ears I have yet to perk. Shall I scream?”
To me it sounds like he wants us to understand he still needs us to listen but that he's almost afraid that's not going to happen. That we will grow tired of him.
He's wrong, very wrong if he thinks this. I can't speak for the whole family but I know I am here to listen until his voice fails.
Of course I could be totally wrong about this!
I agree guys. I didn't get 'optimistic' from the last one either.
I'm kinda worried too!
Katherine, I'm sure he knows that we are all here for him. There are just simply too many of us to acknowlede individually without accidentely forgetting someone and hurting peoples' feelings.
I like to think that every time he posts, it's for all of us to know that he's here; not just for one specific person even if he does sometimes use names.
Hello KD.
Interesting interpretation, Elena. I think you've hit the nail on the head when it comes to certain parts. How does the title tie in with all of this?
The quotations, like you said, bother me too. I don't think we've ever seen Mayo post anything like that.
Magic Pie! I missed you!
*hug*
How've you been, love?
hi magic, how are you?
CTV!!! hello my dearest!
Katherine, no probs. It's gets hard to understand what people mean on the internet because we can't see body language or hear inflection.
But I never said that you wanted him to notice you so I hope you didn't think I meant it that way.
doing well pixie love! you?
I think the title is sorta saying "hey you all think I'm better than I am." I think it worries him. He knows he's not perfect and us thinking it is just an illusion.
I think he worries about disappointing us.
Once again I could be totally wrong.
ok was nice talking to you girls, but I´m off to bed now. have a nice evening and take care *hugs*
elena god someone else at DM related his post to all of us, i was thinking mayo versus real (outside) life but i think may be you are right??
but he is so very wrong if he thinks that we don't want to listen and be there for him.
and him fasioning a new suit and reinventing himself, as in hanging around and chatting a bit more?? do you think? i think he worries more than i do. and god i worry for england!! seriously!
personally i will never grow tired of him and his thoughts. i love coming here and being part of this. it is on my mind alot but i feel a much wholer (is that the right word) person for being part of this. in a weird way this last 4 and a half months has been kind of life changing mentally for me. i've done alot of thinking and addressing and basically coming to terms with things i've not been able to do that before. does that make any sense??
Hootah!
Hey guys, my goddaughter is spending the weekend and we're playing video games, eating ice cream and watching Harry Potter at my folks' later on. TOmorrow we're probably going to spend with Boychild.
I will try to get the next chapter up tonight, 'kay?
CTV, I got your email and I will answer, but in the meantime, thank you so much. And than you for seeing that I'm not usually a morose meffer, but usually pretty happy in the grand scheme of things.
Mayo, Elena made some good points. I'm not sure if that's what you're saying, and I'm less sure that anything I say means anything to you. But in case it does, just know that you mean a lot to us and I still enjoy reading the things you write. I think you're fascinating in a "totally not hitting on you" way. But honestly fascinating.
SSS, I hope you're having a fantastic weekend and getting some adventures into your schedule. The good kind of adventure, not the kind that when you tell it to someone later it ends with "and I hid behind the dumpster until they left" or "you can still see the grease stains on the street" or "and we vowed to never speak of it again." ^____^ Take care.
Guys, I'll try to chat you all later. :D
I'm off too. Doing the "social" thing tonight! lol
night pixie.
hello magic pie!
Man, I really hope he's okay.
Hey, Mayo? Please know that no one expects you to be perfect, okay? We like you the way you are. We all have imperfections, but that's what's great about us, y'know? That's what makes us special. I love imperfections. Don't worry about disappointing us. We're always here to help out in any way we can. You know that, right?
Magic it's okay.
Goodnight Pixie!
Elena, I think it relates more to his private life than to us.
Especially the motherf****** line, he ventures into the real world to do an ordinary thing, and gets called out because of what others think he is.
hi/bye again K!!
bye magic pie!
FASC I totally understand what you mean about this place. I have come to realize so many things about myself here it's crazy. I have learned to accept myself. I have learned to feel accepted.
Mayo - like I've said countless times before...We are here for you and for ourselves. You are one of us. Don't feel like you can't be just as fucked up as some of us because we would be disappointed in you. Just be yourself that's all we want. No pretending...
We are here to help each other.
Goooood day my beauts! =]
How are we all with this fine gorgeous -30 C weather?!
Frank re: the Mama video:
"I don’t know. The idea for the video is a really cool idea. I don’t wanna give it away in case we do it, but there is no talk about doing it – soon. We have no time in our schedule to do it and I don’t know if it will ever happen. So, we’ll see. I don’t know where everyone got the exact date from. We never said anything about a date. It is a rumor. I would love to do it, I just don’t know whether we be able to do it or have to time to do it."
-30 C, PH??
Brrrr!!
Hey RW! <3
What pictures/interviews is everyone talking about? =]
RW, Winnipeg is FREEEEEEZING!
lol. Toronto is a whole lot warmer I expect? =]
These pics, PH
elena absolutely!!
hello PH i never get to see much of you. hope you are good.
RW i know re the mama vid doesn't look like its happening??
Toronto's about -8 C right now, PH. Practically tropical compared to Winnipeg!
RW i know re the mama vid doesn't look like its happening??
It doesn't, does it? *disappointed sigh* And it's one of my favourite songs on the album.
OOOOOOOOH thanks Resurrected Wreck!! =]
Hey FASC! *HUUUUUUUUG*
I've missed you! =D
Y'welcome, PH :D
Too much thinking is making my head hurt. LOL. But one more thing. I think this post was strange to me because of something else.
If I read the words not thinking about Mayo I can hear myself speaking.
A few days ago when I was so depressed I mentioned how I wouldn't tell the truth about how I felt to the people around me. I pretended things were fine like I always do.
Because it's easier. It's easier to say things are fine then really explain.
No one really knows me. The real me. I hide that person from the world. Sometimes it gets to be too much. Sometimes I simply invent a new smiling me to make hiding easier.
There were parts of his post that really hit home with me. Maybe that's why I kept reading it. The words seem familiar.
I walk through life and try to be what others want me to be. I speak words I know they want to hear. It's not the truth but then to be honest they really don't want the truth. People see what they want to see. They hear only what they want to hear.
RW awesome link!!
funny too!
i hate with a fuckin passion gways glasses!!
mikey you look proper happy for the first time in fucking ages and that makes my heart burn!!
frankie god what a little colourful bundle of erm frankieness!! still annoyed about the smoking but i will let him off.
gway is a diva fucker but thats ok i guess is it?? trying to give the guy a break for a milli second.
anyway great link!
PH hugs to you honey!!
^^Elena, what you said made me cry.
I feel the same way as you. Really.<3
FASC: :D
elena i felt the same way as you. when i first commented on this post when i got up this morning i related parts of what mayo said to me in real life too.
hold on i'll go find.
farawaysoclose said...
morning all!
thank you mayo for the new post. it made me sad though.
why do you seem to think you don't deserve what others have?? you do make me sad you know.
do you live in your head alot? i could live in my head forever i love it there! i can't though too many dependants.
don't let others get you down, they have no idea and you are better than them and i think you know that.
looking forward to hearing more of what you have to say, you are very intriguing and i like you.
take it easy mayo.
oh and knowing me i've probably misinterpreted all of that. i'm allowed to though aren't i?? we are all allowed to have a stab at it. i don't know sometimes when i read you mayo i find bits of me in there and then i'm off analysing myself again!!
hope you are ok elena anyway.
FASC, Mikey looks like a vampire in those pictures!
morning all, won't be about much , renewing ark building efforts!!
had over 250 ml in the last 24 hrs (that's 10 inches of rain) it all runs away so we don't flood but it's VERY wet!!lol
elena I love your interpretation and I have felt like you at times (worst was actually Jan /Feb last year)
Shame about the vid, must've been wishful thinking somewheer along the line
take care
Have a great day Ergo<3
FASC - great minds think alike!
I am fine. Just learning to see things about myself even I didn't want to see. Hearing myself say things I don't want to hear. But making myself see and hear because they are truth.
Paper *HUG*
Evening Mayo,
"RW i know re the mama vid doesn't look like its happening??
It doesn't, does it? *disappointed sigh* And it's one of my favourite songs on the album."
Didn't Loveman once say that there was a Mama vid but Reprise hated and mothballed it?
Kass xx
Hello Mayo, me and DG met up last night and had the best time. When we got back, we saw your new post and that you came over to talk to people, that was nice of you. It's fun isn't it sweetie. You should do it more often. We all like to talk to you you know.
SS, your location message still makes me laugh. I'd rather see you in hotpants though ha ha ha.
Hi everyone, here is a run down of last night.
It started when DG came to meet me from my train at Manchester. She is so lovely and really pretty. She drove us to her place which is really nice. Some rooms were being decorated and DG showed me where she sits or stands with her laptop when she is talking to us.
She showed me her flatmates room which I would be having as she was away for the weekend. The bed was sooooooo comfortable.
We got ready for our night out and took some pre night out pics.DG on her landing, me and DG but ignore my daft expression as I was trying to concentrate on getting us both in the pic
We got a taxi to the Academy where we saw The Stone Gods. They are the band made up of members of The Darkness without justin and the strange moustached bloke. They were really really good. Fantastic rock music.Video of Dan, sorry the music was to loud for you to actually hear any tune more video
The support band were called Serpico and sounded like a rockier Simple Plan, I love Simple Plan so I was dead chuffed. In fact, the singer looked like a slightly chubbier Pierre.
After the show we went to the bar and the band came down. Dan Hawkins, who Dg lusts after like you wouldn't believe was soooooooooo nice. What a lovely guy. They are all such lovely blokes.
I took a pic of DG with Dan, she wanted his autograph but didn't want to appear fangirly so I got my ticket signed and gave it to her.in the bar
The security guys said they were locking up then so we would have to speak to them at the tourbus, so we went out to the tourbus. We talked to them more and got more pics. Such lovely guys (Gerard could learn lessons from these guys), they kept shaking our hands and hugging us and thanking us for coming to see them.me and Dan DG and Dan DG and Ed Us and Rick
The singer from the support act came out and we talked with him and he was adorable too ( he gave us some beer), he was called Mikey and he hugged us loads and lots of pecks on the cheek.Me and Mikey
The guys told us that they were going to a nearby pub and that we should tag along, so we did.
When we got there, we had cokes as DG had already had too much. The drummer knocked hers flying and said he'd buy her another and asked what she was drinking. She didn't want to look sad on front of him so instead of saying that it was a diet coke, she said it was coke and double jack daniels.
When we left the pub, DG was weaving quite a bit. I had to hold on to her as we walked into Manchester to get food. She is a weird drunk because although she was weaving, we had a great convo about family stuff.
We got into Manchester and decided to taxi home and get food nearer her place. We went into a fast food place and got pizza. DG asked the bloke serving to take an end of the night pic of us. He took the camera and without warning placed a huge squeezy bottle of MAYO on the counter to be in the pic. I thought this was hilarious and DG grabbed it to pose with it.Us and mayo
Then we walked round to hers and got into PJ's and eat our pizza and chips.
We talked for hours then decided to post at mayos. We eventually went to bed at 7:30am. I told DG that we'd only have a few hours sleep before I needed to get my train so she offered to drive me home the next day.
The next morning, or should I say afternoon, we got up and DG confessed that there were huge parts of the evening that she couldn't remember.
We got ready and set off on the motorway and we chatted more.
I got home at 16:30 and met my mum and sis and told them all about it. While we were having tea, DG texted me to let me know she had got home safe.
This evening I have uploaded the pics for you to see and written this blog.
All in all, it was a fantastic weekend and DG is wonderful. I'm so glad I met her and we will do it again sometime.
PH i love vampires!!
RW gutted about mama too it is one of my fav songs also and it could've been a magnificent video!
ergo not more rain!! hello to you.
Elena, sometimes it's just harder for us to tell ourselves the truth. Sometimes, it's easier to listen to the lies.
For me, the worst part was knowing what I was doing, and making myself feel worse about holding back who I really am. I know I was doing it to make others happy, but maybe for once, my own happiness is for the best.
Same goes for you sweetie. You can't let these things eat you up.
*hug*
FASC change of topic here.
You know when we spoke about the comment you left for WLM?
I can't remember if I told you about LKNA which you also left a comment for. Did you know that's me?
Miss T, you and Dei Gratia must've had an amazing time! The picture of you guys and 'Mayo' made me laugh in fits! Seriously, isn't it weird to say that you met over Mayo? If someone were to asked you guys how you met, you'd have to say "Through Mayonaise". Weird.. lol.
<3
Paper how on earth did you get so wise at your age?
Hun, I can't change. I've been this way too many years but you are so young. Don't conform to please other. Be yourself. Be happy.
Elena, it's my inner old-lady getting the best of me! =] I think that my Auntie-Senses have already turned on! lol.
Please, don't think that you're 'too old' to change, because ONE; you aren't old! And TWO; It's never too late.
Hi PH, I agree sweetie. It was really funny with the mayo thing.
Miss T, thank you for posting the text & piccies of your visit with DG! It looks like you had a blast!!
And... am I the only one who thinks that Mayo's next blog page tribute should be that pic of you, DG, and that bottle of Mayo? ;)
Elena said:
"So he fashions himself a new suit. He tried to reinvent himself. Still he listens and ticks off the days."
But why would he be blogging about trying to reinvent himself just days after putting up Mustard's quote about "[Not] ever pretend[ing] to be something you're not"? Why bother asking for our advice at all if he's just going to ignore it - unless Mayo's just spinning out garbage so he has a bunch of hot chicks to talk to him because he's lonely?
"To me it sounds like he wants us to understand he still needs us to listen but that he's almost afraid that's not going to happen. That we will grow tired of him."
To be honest, I am getting a little tired of hearing the same old, same old regurgitated in a myriad different ways. If you want a direct answer, ask a direct bloomin' question!
That's not to say I don't adore our host - I love Krispy Kremes & Ben & Jerry's and their full of crap too...
Kass xx
Miss T, you guys must've had quite the weekend!
*hug*
RW, I agree with all my heart!!
Hey Kass!
Guys, I'm off to practice stuff that my guitar instructor gave me. =]
Everyone, have a great fucking night, and I'll be back later tonight!!
With Love;
- 007
<3
Ha ha ha ha ha RW, that would be crazy.
*hugs* back to paperheart. We had such a good time.
Bye, PH! Happy guitaring! :D
elena OMFG thats you! thats so long so brilliant!! wow! shit i'll email you tomorrow!
i absolutely have to go to bed now! stern words from mr bloke!! i have to make up for last nights late night!!
miss T i will be back tomorrow to look at what you and DG got up to!! but really if my life is worth living i have to depart!!
night all lots of love to you all.
catch you tomorrow.
oh hi/bye kass!
Goodnight PH.
Great to see you had a fab time MissT - OK, so we're pretty much all female, but how long do you think until we have our first Mayo marriage?
Hellos to Elena & FASC!
Kass xx
See you later PH and FASC.
Elena said:
"So he fashions himself a new suit. He tried to reinvent himself. Still he listens and ticks off the days."
But why would he be blogging about trying to reinvent himself just days after putting up Mustard's quote about "[Not] ever pretend[ing] to be something you're not"? Why bother asking for our advice at all if he's just going to ignore it - unless Mayo's just spinning out garbage so he has a bunch of hot chicks to talk to him because he's lonely?
Well Kass, I can answer part of this but only from my own experience. I have days when I reinvent myself to hide my true feels and I have days when I say to hell with it I'm gonna just be fucking me. Yeah, my life is a roller coaster of emotions. I think some people can relate to this.
As for our advice. You can get the best advice in the world and want to take it to heart...But wanting to take it to heart and actually following the advice are two separate things. Change can be pretty fucking hard.
Okay the hot chicks part. Yeah there are a lot of them here. (not me). Hey, he's a guy. Why of course he'd want to talk to them. LOL
The last part you wrote. Note I said I couldn't speak for everyone. To me nothing he has said has been boring. Puzzling yeah, but never boring.
Back for a minute, anyone know any remedies for cramps?
It's just my dad home right now, and I doubt he knows!
*blushes*
FIMBLE
I wanted to get you pics of manchester, I couldn't do it on the friday cos it was dark when I got there.
I was going to get you pics saturday but I didn't go back into manchester as we went on the motorway and it was near Dg's house.
I tried to get you pics while on the motorway, like the trafford centre but they came out too blurry.
I really really wanted to and will try harder next time sweetie.
Hugs Paper see you tomorrow.
Night FASC - Long yes, brillant? Not so sure about that. LOL
Hey Kass
Hey MissT Love the photos. Wow, you guys had fun.
Ah, some bits are falling into place MissT.
It was a good night, indeed!
God, I'm not always so eye-baggy and drunk looking.
Sober and bagless!
Pre pre-midlife crisis hair dying and butchering
Back for a minute, anyone know any remedies for cramps?
I usually pop a couple of extra strength Excedrin, PH. If you don't have those around, try a bit of a lie down with a hot water bottle on your tum.
Hot water bottle against the belly and an aspirin, paperheartxx *hug*
Good evening everyone :) Just wanted to stop by and say some things. You're probably thinking, "How can she still post?"
How bad is it that I save three windows that could load the comment box for further use? That's pretty bad, right? Anyway...
Mayo:
Dude, today was shit. Now, you are probably thinking, "What the hell? And you're telling me because...?" Well, see here's the thing. I don't know why. No, wait. Yeah I do. It seems only fair that if you tell us stuff, I should return the favor, right?
So, as I stated, today sucked a big one. And you know what? I was myself. And my self got screwed. Did I flip the person a bird like I said I should do? No. I broke down. I wasn't something I "should have" been. I wasn't "strong" enough. But, fuck that. I did the best I could do under the circumstances.
So, now, I've probably solidified myself a place in the Walk of Fame for people that get walked all over. There are times when I don't really care, but then there are times where I think that I could have just lost ten years of hard time. Either way, it's still just fucking me, and I'm beginning to be okay with that. It's too much trouble trying to watch out for everyone else's feelings and make sure everyone else is okay and make sure everyone else is satisfied and make sure everyone else is happy. Fuck it.
When does my time come? When will people see that I matter, too? When will people see that I hurt and that I'm not some fucking machine that is always so happy-go-lucky? Never. That's when.
Oh, and don't go see a chick flick RIGHT after shit in your life goes ape. Dude, how the hell do you cry at a chick flick?
My apologies for unloading on you. But, like I said, this place is a two-way and you gotta give when you receive.
Have a good night, Mayo. Thank you for lending an ear.
SS:
I know what you're thinking. You're like, "Oh, shit. What am I gonna hear now?"
Don't worry. I won't bore you with the details. During said chick flick, I thought about you and all that kindness you always have?
How. The. Hell. do you stay so nice for everyone all of the time? Do you have days where you want to just fuck it all? Do you ever say, "Enough!"? Because, if you're nice to everybody all of the time, I hope karma comes around and bites you one the ass ten thousand times so you can reap what you've sown.
Because people that are nice and giving and caring and who are not self-absorbed, they deserve everything they've given, plus more.
Anyway. I thought about you and I just hope people treat with the same respect and kindness that you've shown us.
I hope the glitter and snow are still falling for you. If they aren't, just do a headstand ;)
See you around, buddy. Have a good night.
I could also give you a tea recipe, PH, but it may mean you having to head out to get the ingredients :(
Oh, beaten to it.
Must be good advice...great minds!
Period cramps?
Nurofen, hot water bottle, TENS machine or, um...masturbation*!
Elena,
I didn't say Mayo was boring - although it does read a bit like that - only that he says the same things over and over. It's pretty disheartening and if I watched even Aliens (which I love) day after day eventually I'd get sick of it!
I understand what you're saying though - it's just I'm a little gun-shy as I've been screwed over in the past by people trying to make out they're incredibly deep and oh so tormented just to manipulate others. Boy who cried wolf and all that...
Kass xx
*Scientifically proven y'all!
Awwh thanks guys for the advice. Seriously, I've never had cramps this bad before!
Mustard, *HUG*
I've been down that road before. Just listen to music extra loud, that always helps me! =]
Off for now=]
All my love;
-007
<3
Period cramps?
Nurofen, hot water bottle, TENS machine or, um...masturbation*!
0_0
*files info away - for purely scientific reasons, of course!*
Elena, we had a great time.
Great piccies, DG!! Did you used to have long hair?
Did I flip the person a bird like I said I should do? No. I broke down. I wasn't something I "should have" been. I wasn't "strong" enough. But, fuck that. I did the best I could do under the circumstances.
Sometimes that's all you can do. And there's absolutely no shame in that.
Well I'm off to the casino. Have a great night or day depending where you are.
Much love
Elena
Mustard, your time is whenever you make it. You matter--a lot. To me you do, anyway. And also? My Mom thinks you rock the house.
Kass: I love you for the things you say. Like, hard.
Okay, I'm off! Later folks!
Thanks RW, yeah really long. Then I had some kind of weird pre-midlife crisis and chopped it all of and went blonde.
When you read this Ergo, I wanted to say that the cat and the pill thing was hilarious.
I'll second that,Ergo.
We had a chuckle this morning....I was kinda sober by then!
So, now, I've probably solidified myself a place in the Walk of Fame for people that get walked all over... When does my time come? When will people see that I matter, too? When will people see that I hurt and that I'm not some fucking machine that is always so happy-go-lucky?
This sounds an awful lot like me 10 years ago. Being small, female, and usually on my own I found myself getting walked over & taken advantage of a lot. I too couldn't see that ever changing, but one day - and damned if I can remember exactly when, why or how - it did, and I can now report that people rarely mess with me any more.
Trouble is, I think I may have swung too much in the opposide direction. I find myself jumping down people's throats for fairly minor incidents. I'm trying to remedy that, but it takes a pointed effort. I expect it'll balance itself out one day, but in the meantime I am constantly reminding myself that, for example, having my lunch hour occupied entirely by an attempt to fix a banking error made by a careless teller is no call to ruin the teller's entire day by me being a bitch about it.
Still trying, and learning all the time...
Hi Kapunua, DG & RW, but also "Goodnight" as I desperately need some kip.
Have a fab night Elena too..
Kass xx
P.S. Tottenham beat Sunderland 2-0, in case you didn't know MissT!
Thanks RW, yeah really long. Then I had some kind of weird pre-midlife crisis and chopped it all of and went blonde.
Lol, nothing wrong with that! I chopped my hair off late last year & went burgundy! Though I'm growing it back a bit, and will probably change the colour again before 2008 is over. I'd really like to go black, but my hair doesn't take black very well. The red starts to shine through after only a week :/
Goodnight kass sweetie.
Thanks for the footie update, I hadn't actually got around to checking it out yet.
Yeah, RW. Change is good...I liked it but I see long hair and think aw...
and it's so bloody expensive keep getting roots done every couple of weeks!
I'm going gradually darker and growing it again.
and it's so bloody expensive keep getting roots done every couple of weeks!
I hear you! My hair grows very quickly & I get noticable roots after less than two weeks. But for the time being though I'm going to keep up with burgundy. My hairdresser's brilliant but not too pricey, and I do love the rich wine colour.
Ah, RW it is lovely. I've seen your piccie!
Thank you, DG :D
Hello lovely people!
How are you all tonight?
Mayo - First of all I would like to say thank you for asking me if I was ok last night. You showed a side of you that I have hardly seen before and that was toward the people here. Thank you again.
Miss T and DG - Wow your night of fun in mancy town looks fanbloodytastic. I am so happy you both had a good night and you met the guys from darkness. How amaaaaazing is that. I know that one of them is the twin or brother to Justin. I saw the pic’s. DG and Miss T you are both really really pretty. Do not worry about the pic’s, I have all the ones I need in my memories but thank you for trying.
Jules - are you having a nice time with your goddaughter, have you took pic’s? Thanks for what you said before and we all missed you last night. Hope to catch you later sea strumpet!!!!!!!!!!!
Splash - you do matter to me hun. You make me laugh you make me think, you make me know more about music. And most of all you try and turn me into a dirty bird just because you are one. Hehehe you are lovely splash and anyone that knows you should be fucking proud! And just for you hun Sugarfart
Well I am under tornado watch at the moment. The rain is coming down and the wind is hurling outside.
There is thunder and lightening which is exciting yet scary at the same time. I am looking after my niece tonight again and she is on the other side of the house so I have set up for the night next to her room in case anything happens. I have never experienced it so it may get scarier. Oh and to share good news with everybody
Manchester united won
Spurs won
Chelsea won (hurts me to say that but that is for kass)
Well guys, have to get to bed. Have to work tomorrow.
Have a very pleasant evening!
See you soon
Goodnight Mayo, sweetie!
Night, DG :)
I'm heading off for a bit too. Have a good one, everyone!
Thanks Fim, you are a little sweetie.
I'm not surprised that mayo wanted to know how you are, we all care about you sweetie.
I hope the tornado doesn't come fim.
i hope so to miss t but it is getting worse out there
Goodnight DG sweetie. Thanks again for a great night.
Goodnight RW, see you later.
I hope you'll be OK fim.
SS
A picture of you tipping your hat to a friend whilst inside your snowglobe
Sounds to me like we need a round of translation from Mayo-nese for these anonymous.
MAYO
I am so sorry that I couldn't stop DG from manhandling you at the end of our night out
hahaha miss t
one of the mans head in the snowglobe is in mid air. did you chop it off hahaha
it is very nice tho
hey amy, how are you today?
Ha, I saw that too fim.
Maybe his hat was too tight and when he tipped it, his head came with it too.
oh maybe it was to cold and it snapped but he man could still move for the last few seconds.
Ha ha ha ha ha fim, that's frostbite for ya.
well maybe it did or even better maybe his head was artificial and it could be screwed on and off. and his eyes where in his nipples really
Hey lovely ladies. I've missed you!
I'm still catching up and can't stay long. :(
I have a really long post for Mayo in just a second, so I just wanted to warn you.
MissT, I'm anxious to see your pictures. [photobucket is a total bitch per usual].
I see that Frank is smoking in that picture. That sucks, but I totally understand. I hope he tries again.
Here's an interesting story:
I have a friend that would always give me trouble for smoking. I let it go for several years, but I got a crazy idea.
My friend is overweight to the point that he has a lot of health issues, so I bet him that I could quit smoking if he lost 100 pounds in 7 months. $500 on the line.
I smoked after three weeks, but didn't tell him. Finally, I couldn't keep it to myself. I confessed, and told him it was in the bag for him. He would get the money if he finished the challenge. Needless to say, he failed. I think the most he lost was 20 pounds, and that only lasted for a few weeks. We both failed. Sad isn't it?
Since then, he hasn't said a word to me about smoking. He even has an ashtray on his patio for me.
Hey Fimble.
Not bad, just freakin bloody COLD.
-A
MissT, his head is missing! Hysterical.
No shit about the frostbite. It's fucking cold outside!
"I am captive and captured in stills, recalled and rendered in sepia toned illusion. My skin is translucent and tangible only to those with clever eyes and a mangled perception. It is there, hovering above birthdays, anniversaries, doctor appointments, and due dates that you will find me, a constant reminder to offer best wishes and maintain schedule. It seems strange to consider that someone would be ticking off days in such a way, counting down to events that I will never attend."
I know that most here do not think that Mayo could be G. Way, but if you read that paragraph with him in mind it makes sense. Imagine having your image above the month of January. The days underneath being marked by countless strangers, just going about their lives. I walked into my daughter's room tonight and there he was on the wall, in sepia tones, hovering above the days.
Just a thought.
anima, hi there hun.
at least you both tried and he did actually lose some weight. it s easy to put on but a pain in the fucking arse to get off.
are you both happy tho the way it is?
amy it is to cold isnt it. i want the bloody sun.
Cold, ol, de ol rol.
The only way I'm going to warm up is to eat. I'm going to eat.
I'll brb.
-A
Fimble, what's the temp where you are?
It's minus 22 here with the windchill. Celcius, BTW.
-A
Mayo and SS
Last night when I met up with DG, I got to thinking about all the people here and how their paths have crossed, maybe without even knowing it.
In November, when MCR played at the sheffield arena, I know that me, SIM and DG were there under that same roof but we never met each other. How strange that we were all so close yet oblivious to each other.
And you mayo, I wonder if any of us have crossed your path without even realising it. You have seen our pics mayo, you would know if you saw one of us but we are in the dark as to your identity.
The same goes for you SS, you I know, have looked around these blogs and seen the things that we have chosen to share about ourselves, but we are none the wiser as to who you truly are.
How does that make you both feel? Do you feel in a position of power over us or do you wish that you could join in and be as open as we all are.
I know that sometomes we have bad times on this blog but most of the time we have good times. Just being able to come here and talk to all the friends we have made her is a blessing for which I am grateful.
I do pity you though mayo and ss, I would hate to have to be as reserved as you both are. I would hate to see everyone being so open and sharing and knowing that I can't join in fully as I need to keep myself seperate to a certain extent.
I only hope that you enjoy the times when you do get to hang out with us. I hope you get as much out of it as we do.
It would be really nice to see you guys more but that is just greed on my part. I just wish that when you do pay us a visit, that you get to be a part of the fun that we have.
I bet Mayo has an MCR calendar in his bedside drawer or hanging up in his closet.
amy it is 47 i think so that is 11 for your temp. but we are under tornado watch at the mo so i hate the weather
Hi Anima sweetie, how are you?
Could you not see the pics?
MissT, that was a great post. Thank you. :)
anima
i bet mayo has a mcr calender in his top draw of his bed side table
Miss t. bravo. loved you post.
Thank you Anima and Fimble.
It does make you wonder doesn't it if any of us here have crossed paths before.
I wonder how many of you in America or canada have done so without knowing.
Fimble,
-22 here is like -8 in your neck of the woods.
I doubt that would ever happen.
-A
Canada, I know the only other poster I share a province with is Sister Midnite. I think everyone else is in Ontario.
-A
Fim, it is definitely in the top drawer. Good call.
MissT, I'm good. I just had a tight-jean moment. And I think these suckers are coming off.
misst and dg love your pics
fimble how scary you be careful!
thanks for the laughs on the cat pill!
still raining!!
hey ergo, i will try
amy i dont think it will ever get like that in the sunshine state hahaha but i would love to eperience that sort of weather.
Okay, I might keep the pants, they are stretching a bit.
Questions: Boots over the pants or under the pants? Or should I just do a cuff?
MissT, photobucket doesn't work at home. Makes no sense. (sorry this was a very late reply).
WOW GUYS.
Check out this picture that my Mom sent me of my dove, Blinkin!
Pretty Bird!
-A
Fimble, feel free to stop by anytime.
Really, that's only if they can get the airplane door unfrozen.
-A
Sorry about that Anima sweetie.
I shall email you the pics.
amy is tat your real pet dove? it is very pretty
and i would love to come and visit. i would just have to be rescued from the plane by those handsome canadian men (hoping i am right that you are in canada).
Amy, the bird is just gorgeous.
-Anima is shoving pizza down her 'pie hole' as husband affectionately refers to it.
Not to be confused with magic pie. That something completely different.
Guys, I need to run.
Have a great night!
Mayo, I wrote something but I deleted it. Go figure.
Goodnight Anima, sweet dreams.
night anima and amy remember to bring us some food pleaseeeeeee
I know that most here do not think that Mayo could be G. Way, but if you read that paragraph with him in mind it makes sense. Imagine having your image above the month of January. The days underneath being marked by countless strangers, just going about their lives. I walked into my daughter's room tonight and there he was on the wall, in sepia tones, hovering above the days.
Just a thought.
The first part of Mayo's post reads to me as a calender, also.
Mayo,
How are you today? I hope you are doing well, sweetheart. And thank you. You know what for.
The images this post brings up are bittersweet, at once optimistic and cynical. You are trying, trying to do what is best for you, for everyone.
That can be a tall order, my dear.
But I have faith in you. I see so much promise in these words. You are wanting, needing to put others first, to remember those days to tick off. But don't think of them as ticking off the days. That sounds so final. Like marking X's through until Christmas.
Make everyday count, ever tick of the clock, every tick of your heart.
I know it's discouraging when you are attacked from all sides, sometimes for no damn reason at all. And all you can do is smile through gritted teeth and push it away. But it never truly goes away. It gets filed in the part of our minds and souls that want to scream out to the world-
"YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, MOTHERFUCKER, WELL, SIT DOWN FOR ABOUT THREE DAYS AND LET ME TELL YOU!!"
Let's just say I have come close to doing just that, several times in my life. Once or twice, I actually did.
I had a doll once, a porcelain doll that I loved. I was only about 5 or 6 and one day, I broke the foot off the doll. It was in about 7 or 8 pieces. I wanted to fix it, to glue it back together. But my Mum was afraid I would get cut on it, so she put the doll up and gave me a new one.
I never liked the new one.
Years later, I wrote a short poem about that doll in relation to my life at the time. I was being sheltered from things I needed to know. Even I was hiding things from myself.
When I realized that, I wrote "Broken Bridges".
It was about how you can't put anything back together if you don't have all the pieces, even if you cut yourself in the process. You have to have it all there in front of you, to find how it all fits together before you can mend it. Some of the pieces are ugly, jaded, bloody. But they do fit.
And only when you have them all, and put them together do you have the answers. "The cracks as broken bridges."
You are stronger than you think.
I love you, sweetheart.
Take care of yourself, and stay on the ride.
Love. Hope. Faith.
L.
Miss T! Have you recovered from your night out with DG? The pics were GREAT! I loved the one with the mayo bottle!
RW, the bit about the button was fantastic. That must have been one enthusiastic performer!
How is everyone?
Love,
L.
RW, the bit about the button was fantastic. That must have been one enthusiastic performer!
Well into her role, and no mistake!
Fimble, indeed I am. And there are handsome canadian men. But be prepared for beards and lots of 'em.
MissT, isn't she a pretty little dove? I miss her!
-A
Thanks L sweetie, how are you?
Is it the op tomorrow?
Very pretty Amy.
amy, did you bring any food back. i am getting a bit hungry.
hello rw, opL and miss t.
miss t, did the guy ever get his head back on?
RW, probably much to the surprise of her co-star!
Miss T., my surgery is Monday, so yes, for your time zone, and no for mine! :) I have to check in at 9:00 so I can get good meds from the anestheologist before they take me in at 10:30 EST. My parents are coming down tomorrow afternoon, so I won't be on the blog after they get here and probably for a few days after surgery. J. will keep you guys informed!
You and DG looked like you had a great time! Fab looking women you are. So, did you take any of the band home with you, or is that the part DG can't remember? ^_~
Love,
L.
Hello, Fimble, Amy, anyone I missed.
How are you guys?
Love,
L.
miss t, did the guy ever get his head back on?
0_0
Alas no fim, he is still headless. I guess he won't be needing that hat anymore.
L, I wish you all the luck with your op but you won't need it. I'm glad that J will be letting us know of your progress. How long are you expected to be in hospital?
Ha ha ha ha, yes DG would have liked to have taken the band home but it didn't happen. What a shame eh?
And Aw shucks for your nice words.
hey L
i am good, its just really quiet tonight isnt it? maybe everyone has a hot date.
amy, what is your dove called?
oh and duh to me, how are you L sorry
Ha ha ha ha
Hi RW sweetie.
Hullo Miss T :D
Thank you, Miss T. Hopefully, I will get to come home that day, in the late afternoon or evening. It depends on how much they have to cut. If they can't do the laproscopic, they have to do the regular kind, and I would be in for a couple of days. So I am hoping for being home that day!
I went out today to run some errands, groceries, book store, etc. and I also got my hair cut. It had gotten pretty long, so I had it cut back in the short spikey look I had earlier in the summer. It's not SHORT short, but it's much shorter than it was. I wanted to have a couple of dark purple streaks in front, close to the sides, but I will wait a little while on that.
I also bought myself a new pair of white slippers, with a white satin bow through the top. They are SO comfortable, and my old slippers were ready for the bin, so I figured, why not, get something comfy. I am wearing them now with my super sexy flannel mice pj's.
J. keeps telling me she is going to take a pic of me one day in these jammies and post it. She says the only reason she hasn't yet is that it "just might drive Mayo wild with desire, and then who KNOWS what would happen?"
She's a funny girl.
Love,
L.
Love,
L.
We should all post pics of ourselves in our jammies.
We could have a funniest jammies contest.
I'd love to see mayo and ss in their jammies *sniggers childishly*
Hey Fimble, I'm doing pretty good. A little tired today, but otherwise ok. Are you doing better? I saw last night you were not having a good day.
L.
We should all post pics of ourselves in our jammies.
We could have a funniest jammies contest.
I could post a pic of me in the extra large yellow rubber duckie ones that my mom bought for my dad but he refused to wear so she sent them on to me.
Fimble, her name is Blinkin, like the blind guy from Robin Hood: Men in tights.
And if you want some pasta, I left it on the stove.
-A
Oh, Miss T. Wouldn't that be a sight? I think we should schedule a night for a slumber party, and we all have to post pics of ourselves in our "best" jammies. J. has some with lambs on them!
That would be great! We can raid the fridge, watch bad TV and see if Mayo and SS decided to join in the fun. We could even do their hair!
Love,
L.
ohh will you feed me to amy, with your hands?
L thanks for asking, i am doing much better. i have some days where i get homesick but the people here help me. just by making me laugh and smile. thats why i love it here.
A slumber party sounds fun L.
RW, you have to wear those jammies to the SP.
RW,
Those sound great! Oh, we could all trade make-up tips too, and try them out and paint our nails.
What colors do you think Mayo and SS would want? Do you think they are a summer or a winter?
L.
Bright pink for both of them L.
I know what you mean Fimble. It is like therapy. It's just amazing how many people are here to help each other when one falls.
Oh, J. just said we have to make rice krispie treats and watch MST3000 movies, like MITCHELL! or the one with the iguana.
L.
RW, you have to wear those jammies to the SP.
Trouble is, they're several sizes too large (they were bought for my dad after all), so if I don't hold them around the waistband while I walk they fall right down.
I'll post a picture of myself in jammies.
-A
Miss T, do you think they already have the bright pink jammies or should we pick some up next time we make a Target run for the House?
HEY! MAYO, SS! WHAT SIZE DO YOU NEED IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR OWN PINK JAMMIES?
L.
RW,
AND...Mayo will be out with the camera!
L.
Even more of a reson to wear them RW. Never underestimate the comedy value of Pj's like those.
L, I'm sure they already have multiple pairs of pink pj's between them.
What jammies do you have, Amy?
Love,
L.
I hate to go guys, but J. wants to write a couple of e-mails before bed, and I should be getting some sleep too. I wish I could stay on longer, but, bed be calling.
So, Goodnight Family,(Mayo and SS included) and I will talk to you for a while in the morning. Sweet dreams, and love you.
Pactum Serva,
L.
'Night, L. Good luck on Monday! :)
Mayo,
How are you? I hope this finds you happy, satisfied, and well. Was Saturday good for you? Were you good for Saturday? Jury still out on both those? Don't worry, you don't have to actually answer for me. Me? I don't know. I'm actually a little worried about myself. He came back home today, and we have yet to discuss last night's events. And, I have yet to shed one single tear either way. Scary stuff...calm and emotionless. Am I waiting for a conversation that is not going to happen? I don't know, but I will wait for now. I'm so skilled at sitting and waiting for shit to happen.
So, I did tick those days off my calendar today. I was only 18 days behind in doing it. What does that say about me? I don't even have anything written down for the month. Are all my days really the same? You know sometimes I don't see that as a bad thing. There is something safe and comforting and secure about a routine life, right? You know exactly where you are going to be and what you are going to be doing and who you are going to be doing it with. So why does it seem we always want what we don't have? I crave something to look forward to....something to motivate me...to inspire me...to move me. Someone living a completely hectic and chaotic life would trade places with me in a heartbeat.
It's crazy. We spend too much of our time wishing time away. Dreaming and not living. Too blind or too stubborn to see that everything we need is right in fucking front of us. All we have to do is open our eyes and grab it.
Mayo, may you reflect on yesterday, sleep well and dream about tomorrow, and wake up with a clear view of the day in front of you.
Love to YOU Always,
S
p.s. Another one is almost gone.
OPL - Warm, comfy, fuzzy ones with purple crescent moons on it.
XD
-A
I'm wearing pink checkered flannel ones :)
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