Reflection.
I battle with my image. It is difficult to see myself in the context of life. To see myself as others do, with a watchful eye. I am often too busy living to be constantly aware...aware of my actions and my thoughts as they occur, to be always on. That is a poor excuse, and so I will continue learning.
There amongst the rubble, the rubbish, the reality, and the reverie…is a life lived. I have opened it up for my inspection, my dissection. My life spilled open before me, I am able to pick it apart. What is worth keeping and what shall be cast aside? Some of it will be misplaced or forgotten without intent. Some will be thrown full force out the fucking window.
The entirety of it, my life, has been examined, admired, and accepted as a lesson in time…without regret. But still I ask myself, how can I be a better person?
Considering the past, I must live forward.
I will continue to challenge myself to sustain thoughtfulness. I will attempt to close each day with a question…was I good?
I will allow the answer to that question to lead me forward. Daily, I will take the hand of my mistakes and my misgivings and allow them to guide me to craft a life. My triumphs and successes enhanced by greater insight. I do not want to come to the close of another year bombarded with resolution.
I will also try to keep fear at bay. I will pause, even if it is just for a moment, to reflect. I intend to live, and live well. Each day I will do my best to be good.
My lovelies, I wish each of you the best of life in the new year. I hope that you are all happy and healthy, and that you find joy in each day. I hope you live, and live well.
Apparition?...please.
p.s. my clichéd resolve will be found in the calm exhale of purity.
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«Oldest ‹Older 1001 – 1200 of 2409 Newer› Newest»I like big butts too Mayonaise. lol. Were you one of the butt anons? :D
SIM, see, the best part about leather pants is that once you take them off, you have to get him--whoever he may be--in the shower.
See what I'm sayin'?
Come on, what do you guys mean, you can't see G in leather pants? Even I can see that! Good stuff.
J
OPJ!!!
Now, let's take Frank from this summer. The long hair, the sleeveless T's, sweaty, rubbing all over Gerard...
*long whistle*
FUCK.
I have a job interview later how will i ever concentrate when you are filling my mind with such sweet filth :P hahaha
Yes, Martha, the long hair was ever so delicious.
I liked when Gerard would grab Frank by the hair and pull his head back. Frank always looked so...uh...JAPPY. Plus the line of his neck looked FANTASTIC.
J
J,
I was reading an article in Cosmopolitan about what man fear about women.
One dude, said he never trusted women because of the current "bra technology" that "uplifts" things. He felt cheated. I laughed so much at that.
The problem with leather pants is that they exaggerate things.
erm hmmm i dont think that would be a bad thing, especially with GW if you know what i mean :P hahaha
i think i am coming round to the idea of Leather pants a little hahaha
and didnt GW wear leather pants at the start of the Black Parade?
Sorry SIM! I can stop if you like.
*smiles sweetly*
Shall I?
J is evil but very good at it
*fans self* its a little hot in here :P
Katherine, I laughed almost immediately as soon as I read that cosmopolitan comment :D
Well, maybe I can picture Gerard in leather pants just a little, but not much.
Haha OPJ Nooooooo!!!
I believe in starting the morning as you intend to go on :)
I am feeling Jappy :)
No I can't see him in the leather pants.
I don't care about Gerard in leather pants.
I think his eyes are his best feature. Extraordinary eyelashes.
"Bra Technology".
I don't know about that phrase. Sounds too much like something concerning Homeland Security.
Men seem to like boobs no matter what size they are. :P
L will know when G wore leather pants. She's gone to bed, though, so we'll have to wait to know.
J
His eyes are definitely the best feature. I also like the way he laughs :)
Haha OPJ does L have a Gerard filing system? can i get access to that? hahaha
I think gerards smile is his best feature it makes sense too me :) his whole face makes sense and i love his hair at the minute mmmm :P
Yes his eyes and his smile I would say his hair as well. When it's long.
And i love a man in a suit, shirt and tie and/or stab vest haha the stab vest does it for me :) LOL
To me, Gerard is very attractive, but he doesn't make me want to grab him and rip his clothes off. He's a really good-looking man, don't get me wrong. And he has some great qualities.
Not that I would turn him down, mind you. ;)
Frank, OTOH, yeah, he just flat does it for me. He has all the right qualities in the right amounts for me. Beautiful, intelligent, kind, hilariously funny, creative, silly, and punk. Perfect.
And I SURELY would not turn HIM down. :D
HEAR THAT, VULTURES? YEAH, I WENT THERE!
J
Sim I thought you were going to a bear suit.
SIM, L has a photographic memory, which is better than a filing system! :D
Seriously, she retains the most bizarre information imaginable. Not that info on Gerard is bizarre...wait.
She remembers everything she reads or sees. Almost word-perfect. It's creepy sometimes.
But she DOES groove on the G-Man. He's right up her alley. :)
J
Hahaha MJ have to say the bear suit is kinky but not what dreams are made of haha :)
I agree J,
I do think Gerard is very physically attractive.
But regardless of how one looks ultimately your intelligence and personality makes you more attractive.
I have been with really pretty guys, but unless they have substance, they ultimately become unattractive to me.
I guess I just prefer a guy I feel emotionally and intellectually connected to.
Well I am off to bed. you guys have a good time. Goodnight
But she DOES groove on the G-Man. He's right up her alley. :)
oh dear my corrupted mind is reading this all wrong!!!! LOL
Thats cool her memories like that. I have a strange memory i remember really random obscure things but only by remembering what i was thinking at the time.
I know that wont make sense to anyone, and its too early to try and explain the phenomona which is my fucked up memory haha
Night MJ!
Good night and sweet dreams mj.
Katherine, exactly. Looks are not important. Personality and intelligence are.
Night MJ :)
and you are right KD, personality and intelligience or lack of can make or break a pretty face.
The old Gerard, the one from LOTMS and Revenge days, he seemed to have the intelligience and personality, the new Gerard well he just seems to be losing it :/
Goodnight Martha, sleep well!
KD, I agree with you. The prettiest man in the world cannot compare to a man with intelligence, a wicked sense of humor, and a good heart.
And see, Gerard has all those things, too. They're just hidden right now. But they're still in there.
Frank has those things as well. His just aren't buried beneath erratic behaviour.
J
Believe it or not, SIM, I understand what you mean about memory.
J
Well J, I hope 2008 is a better year for him.
He can have a good rest and work out his real priorities.
I think he has been on the go for far too long.
Before I go the last couple of comments about GW I agree with. His personality was what made him the most attractive. Yes he his pretty but there has to be a personality.
Op, yep.
Shame in me, I miss the old Gerard :(
And hey, what happened to the butt anons?
Goodnight hopeful for real this time.
Hey Ho
OP L did I hear the words Adam and the Ants????
sigh
that guy could totally wear leather pants and feathers
HI Katherine.
I agree looks are only one small aspect, but genetic programming is all young girls, and boys, use until they have experience. Then you find how shallow outward appearances can be
Night night mj. Hi there Ergo
sorry OP J
Adam Ant mmmm he was nice, even when i was a kid he was nice :P i think i was always destined to like boys in make up.
Glad someone understands what i mean about memory haha the amount of times i have tried to explain that to someone just to get a weird look back
Hey ergo :)
Shame in me, I hope you don't mind me asking, but is there any update on the mystery guy?
butt anons have probably gone to sleep.
All the looks in the world will not make you a better person.
A shallow person is a shallow person regardless of appearance.
Besides, everyone ages, we cannot stay perpetually beautiful, that why we need to develop ourselves in a spiritual and phrenic ways.
Well, kids, I think I'm going to bed. Hope you all have a good night and day tomorrow!
SIM, good luck on that interview! *nudge nudge wink wink*
Talk to you all later!
love,
J
Of course i dont mind you asking mum :) hehe
Well, seriously its all gone too shit i think. He said he didnt want to speak to me anymore after a confusing situation went bad. Then we spoke a few times after even though we wernet supposed too and it was nice but he said it just werent the same anymore, it really upset me. He sent me a birthday and xmas message but apart from that nothing. Hes probably blocked me on msn. I dont know BC, its really complicated and confusing. I promised myself new year forget about it, i think of the situation all the time, theres just so much whirling around my head, but at the end of the day i dont really know him, he could just be playing the martyr and oh i dont know, or he could quite possibly have been someone that would have completed me, it certainly seemed that way. I miss him. Its all so complicated. sorry blah blah blah :(
Night J,
I'm going too. Goodnight all!
Hmm... Mayonaise in leather chaps?
[Tries to conjure a mental image]
kD hence the massive industry in age defying lotions and plastic surgery!
I think someone with an aged look has character. Otherwise they just look false.
And like you said all the pretty in the world can't make up for a deficient spirit
Night night OPJ!! Thanks for the interview luck :)
"Besides, everyone ages, we cannot stay perpetually beautiful, that why we need to develop ourselves in a spiritual and phrenic ways."
January 2, 2008 1:49 AM
so true KD, very wise words :)
SIM that's a shame
He probably wouldn't have been the right one, I think fate tends to step in sometimes.
Or if he is there'll be another opportunity
goodnight OP J
hello andrea - keep conjouring that image!
Even when I type it, butt anons sounds funny lol.Goodnight J, Katherine. Sweet dreams!
Shame in me, I'm sorry to hear that. You know, if it's meant to be, it will happen on its own course. Have faith. Maybe he didn't mean the words he told you. You may never know.
Remember that guy I was liking that I told you about? Well, that's not working out as well. It seems he doesn't work at the store anymore, and so, I haven't seen him for about three or four months now.
He's pretty much out of my life now :(
Lol. I'll try!
Hi there Andrea. it's been a while. How are you?
BC
Gar that sucks BC :( Men generally suck. Shame your nice man is no more :( maybe fate will intervine and you will accidentaly bump into each other.
It wouldnt have worked anyway with this man anyway, hes in US and travels the world and i live in a shitty little town in the UK.
Hello andrea how are you :) Happy New Year!!
It does suck shame in me, but eh, I'm getting over it. Besides, I never knew whether this guy had a girlfriend or not, or anything else like that. I doubt I'd see him again. I'm sorry to hear about your guy as well. I'm not going to whine more about some dude that I don't see anymore. :)
I'm well BC. How are you?
I should take your advice and do the same, quit whining about some guy thats not here. Bring back the dirty talk, my mood has plummeted into shitness :(
That's good Andrea. I'm doing okay. Shame in me and I are bitching about some dudes we like.
Shame in me, I'm sorry to bring that subject up.
Mmm, I wish I had a dude I liked. I've got nothin'. Maybe the new year will bring me someone.
Andrea, maybe.
Sometimes it sucks. Usually I like someone and poof, they walk out of my life. No big deal though. Shame in me, how was your day?
Hope you get someone deserving of you andrea :)
its ok BC you dont need to apologise im gonna have to address the situation one way or another.
Forget it or watch it explode into a huge drama.
So andrea and BC do you have any plans for January? Doing anything exciting?
BC my days only just beginning its 7.40am here been up since 4.30am because i went bed at teatime last night. Was very wasted from the party haha :)
Got interview at 11 and then i will go into town after the interview to buy something with the money i got off of my mum for my Birthday, hopefully get some art stuff. How about yours?
Any plans for January? Well, trying to make my life more active and exciting for one thing. My day went super boring, yet it was cold outside so I stayed inside most of the day.
My life is pretty unexciting, which is sad.
My life is the same BC but you have to make your own excitement, talk to new people, do something new, do your hair differently haha i dont know, its the little things really. What are you interested in BC?
Actually shame in me, I had a haircut a few days ago. It's the shortest it has ever been in I swear! :)
What am I interested in? Going to sleep in a bit is one thing! Lol
My birthday is in a couple of months and it's pretty scary to think how old I'm getting.
Last year I made a promise to myself that I would move out and live on my own and I haven't lived up to that promise yet
Are we the only ones herE?
well BC just keeping making the resolutions and keep trying to fulfill them.
Dont worry about your birthday, i was worried about mine but i covinced myself that getting older can only be a good thing. I cant remember what my reasonings were haha but dont worry mum :)
Im gonna go get ready for my interview, i dont know what to wear :/ have a lovely sleep. sweet dreams. Hope we get to aim soon xxx
I think we are, andrea must have gone...
Il stay until you go to bed, just realised i have loads of time to my interview
I always keep forgetting about the AIM thing. Thank you for the advice shame in me. I'm glad to get older, just have some doubts you know? Anyways, take care, sweet dreams, and good luck with the interview my lovely daughter!
Hugs and kisses,
xoxo
Mummy Dearest
Ah, so you're staying then? That last comment was such a waste to post then. Ha! :)
After talking about the dudes, my mood went sour a little bit. I think I may write a post.
haha sorry BC sorry i wasted your time hahaha
yeah i got a bit bummed after talking about silly guys but i decided to counteract it with good music and some breakfast cereal hahaa it worked im a bit tired though wish i could have slept longer. You will have to add me on aim, because i am already on Aol so i dont have aim but you can add me and we can chat but i dont have a clue how too add aim people!!! i prefer msn!! im littlepurple3634 on aim add me!!
No need to apologize, shame in me. When I get in a shitty mood, I write. I think I may write another story soon. Nothing like the wedding one, just something cool.
I also posted a new blog in order to vent.
Shame in me, I already added you on AIM. Are you on now?
yes i am what are you called? oh wait its worked!! wooohoo!!
thats weird!! and i never got the story that you were gonna email for xmas ;(
I shall send it then :)
It is now 4:10 in the morning and I am tired as hell and I am still up. I'm slowly developing traits of the Night Owl :) Goodnight BlogBelieve Family, lurkers. goodnight my little jar of Mayonaise.
toujours said...
will someone post this over at mayo's for me? *hopeful*
mayo,
i had a very auspicious first day of the new year. i took myself up to seattle for a record release show, and hung around with the band afterwards. the day was spent entirely in music and socializing with new people. it was fantastic!
for so many years, i lived a hedged-in life. somehow, my ex and i had developed all these "rules" about what things were possible for us, and what weren't. we never went outside the boundaries we had drawn.
i don't have those boundaries anymore, though i admit i can still feel the shadow of them. since the divorce, every time i've done something for myself, it has reinforced my newfound sense of freedom, of being able to do anything.
but today more than reaffirmed that feeling -- it totally charged me up! i feel so gung-ho for the things i want to change, and i know that i can do it! there's nothing outside my reach. nothing.
yeah, it's true, i'm back to where i was last month, no rent, no way to get the money for it, no new job prospects.
but i don't care.
it can't hold me back, not anymore. it's only the fear of the unknown, after all. and that's just a paper tiger.
gods, not only can i feel the possibilities inherent in this new year, they are right there in front of me. guess it's time to get grabby! ;)
don't let anything or anyone stop you from doing what you need to and what you want to this year, mayo, not even yourself. don't hedge yourself in, not the tiniest bit.
(i'm not going to say "tally-ho", but you know i'm thinking it. *grin*)
good night, mayo. sweet dreams to you, and a wonderful day tomorrow.
January 2, 2008 4:05 AM
Morning Mayo,
My first shiny new post of the shiny new year!
I am often too busy living to be constantly aware...aware of my actions and my thoughts as they occur
You do know that if you're not fundamentally a muppet, then you don't actually have to worry about being aware of your actions - the positives will naturally flow.
It's only if you have socially-unacceptable personality flaws that you'll have to 'check' your behaviour, and as long as yours are confined to the need to post random b*****ks on the internet and occasionally fight with a friend and be too stubborn to apologise, then you'll probably find you're doing OK and overanalysing the situation.
On a side note, well done to Veritavenom - I thought she'd have been shouted down by the teenies by now, but I see that quite a few are - shock, horror (for BN!) - actually agreeing with her. If only Caravaggio had painted about how duelling and womanising was bad, maybe poor G-Way's TasteitTv argument might have had a leg to stand on!
Still very pretty, though!
Kass xx
Re - New Year's Music Oracle:
What's the worst that will happen to me this year?
Midnight Train To Georgia by Gladys Knight & the Pips (Unlikely!)
What's the best that will happen to me this year?
Leave You Far Behind by Lunatic Calm (But I wouldn't ever want to leave you all!)
If someone new comes into my life, what will that person be like?
Quit Playing Games With My Heart by The Backstreet Boys (Oh, the shame! And hopefully untrue.)
What will happen with my career this year?
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston (Maybe I'll be screwing my way up the ladder?)
What will family life be like this year?
You Are My Rock by Delta Goodrem (Awww!)
What will BlogBelieve be like this year?
Ricochet by Faith No More (So I'm going to say something that's going to come back and bite me on the fattest part of my *ss!)
Hmm...
Hey anyone here?
Good morning errbody!
I'm finally able to come back inside Mayo's house. Thank goodness because it's cooooold outside!
Mayo,
Hope 2008 is going great for you so far. Two days, it's hard to tell I know. Have a fantabulous day, okay?
SS,
Dude, are you still getting over New Year's??? Where are you? Just playin'. I hope you can come visit when you get a chance. Again, I hope 2008 is going great for you as well. Love you to pieces!
Hugs and kisses!
Princess
Anonymous said:
Newflash have you not read his interviews??? they bought a Christmas tree and he is happy.
Yes I have. But he also lied about being "anti-rock n' roll", being "very excited" about getting engaged to Eliza & having respect for his young, female, teenage audience, so chances are he's still lying now!
Hi frosty :)
Hello shame in me!
I have to be careful as the heat of friction from typing melts my arms. I don't have fingers anymore.
Good morning everyone.
Thank you to everyone yesterday that acknowledged my blueness (is that even a word?) I really appreciate it. You guys are great.
Kapunua, I finally got to see the pictures of your nephew. He is beautiful! Your family looks so full of love. He's a lucky little man.
Mayo, how are you today? Me, you ask? Oh, I'm okay. I am at work. I have yet to dive into all the emails that need to be addressed. I could kind of care less at the moment.
My resolution for the New Year: I need to get my shit together if I want to make the change I so despirately desire. Unfortunatley, I think I avoided all thoughts of it over the holiday. Maybe that is a good thing, but it could explain the internal distance I was feeling. Just disconnected, ya know the feeling?
SS, I miss you. I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. Come around sometime. We would love to hear from you.
Ha! Has anyone been to www.theblackparade.com recently? its just a flatline!!
Hey SIM! Yes, I have seen the flatline. I think it changed about a month ago. Not sure of the reason except maybe it symbolizes TBP being dead/finished.
Thank you, Anima. ^_^ Man, I've got tons more pictures and probably will again. Don't even care if people don't want to see them, LOL, I am posting them. You know what today is? I think it might be his first ever snowfall! I hope he's well enough to go outside and play for a few minutes at least. :D
Anima, I hope you're feeling better. The hellidays are over. Now we hold on till spring thaw. ;)
SIM, dude, please don't think all men are idiots. Most people are idiots regardless of gender. But there are still some good folks out there. Hard to find, totally. But they exist. ^_^
Good morning, BlogBelieve. Fimble, if you are out there, dude you slay me. I'll try to be on again tonight. BITCH ROOM FTW.
ANyone heard from Sis Midnight? O_O
Good morning to you too, Mayo. And to SS, if you are ever lurking about.
Thanks kapunua :)
yeah i agree most people are idiots but theres good and bad in every sex, race, culture, i know there are good men out there.
I was just having a whinge cause i was tired and a bit bummed, all better now though, bought loadsa art materials with my birthday money so now whenever i get bummed i can immerse myself in art and creativity yay!!
How's your day?
SIM, you should post your artwork here. Being a talentless hack myself, I am a hug fan of art and I'd love to see yours.
I'm going to see Boychild before I go out shopping. See you guys later. :)
Hey anima sorry missed your comment there.
Good to hear your feeling better and yeah i guessed it mean that the black parade is dead.
Haha i was on Kerrang! website earlier and there are loadsa kids going mental because of that fake bulletin about MCR splitting up.
I should have told them it was fake but it seemed like too much hassle haha im bad :/ wont be getting any Karma points for that. I made myself feel better by thinking i would only have got a barrage of abuse anyway.
I will yes, i will post my deviantART link too when i have some more pieces up. I was thinking of doing something for Mayos Blog Family but not quite sure yet.
Ive not been drawing for long, well for the simple reason i didnt think i could then i got inspired by a picture of Gerard, he looked ill but strange and beautiful at the same time and i drew it perfectly, i suprised myself im very critical of anything i ever do but it was a good drawing and since then i havent been able to stop drawing haha its really therapeutic focusing all my thoughts and time on one thing.
My guitars feeling a bit neglected i think haha.
Love to the boychild see you later
Mayonaise,
Well, I was in an alright mood until just recently. That's another story for another time. Mayo, I heard this song today and it made me think of you. Funny, cause it made me think of myself as well. We are our own worst enemies, right?
"Same Mistake"
Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.
Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.
Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.
My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?
I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.
And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.
Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,
So I set out to cut myself and here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.
Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.
And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,
I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice.
Give me reason but don't give me choice.
'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.
Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.
Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.
Look at the stars fall down.
And wonder where did I go wrong.
Mayo are you around?
"Erupting and choking on my words. Purged and atoned."
That doesn't sound pleasant, but I am sensing there was a resolve. Are you okay?
WE are all here if you need us.
Always.
Sending you a huge hug just in case you need one today.
"Erupting and choking on my words. Purged and atoned."
Breaking out with and choking on your words, to cleanse one self spiritually and to make amends.
I have to thankyou Mayo, you have definitly rekindled my friendship with my dictionary haha. Its all good, i love learning new words.
Hello people! I'm on for a little, but L's coming in after she does some things around the house.
SIM: how'd your interview go? Didn't slip up and blurt out anything like "Oh YES Franky, lick Gerard's neck again!", did you? ;)
J
Ahahahaha OPJ you do make me chuckle haha.
My interview was actually cancelled.
I got a phone call as i was getting ready, the guy who was interviewing had double booked and he wondered if i would mind having it next tuesday instead.
Which was fine with me as i am still a bit fragile from new years and since this morning i have been very distracted haha wonder why? Hmmm? Haha.
And yep...
"Oh YES Franky, lick Gerard's neck again!"
...yep that has me back to where i started this morning!!!! Haha :P
How are you today? Good i hope!!
* Wanders in and slumps down onto the couch *
Aye me......
Cupcake promised she'd get some sleep... cupcake lied...
Anyway.
Hello all!
Yeah, I'm still really into using bolds and italics! *blushes*
So far so good, SIM. It's 1.15pm here, cold and blustery, no snow yet but maybe later. I feel pretty good today, no major pains (YET, but keep your fingers crossed!). We have a friend coming over for dinner tonight, so it might be later when we sign back in, if at all. :)
Good AND bad news about the interview...cause sometimes you've gotten yourself psyched up for it and are prepared mentally, but then again, not so much physically. It's all good. We'll be less, uh, distracting next week before you go!
J
Hey Cuppy, you gotta get some sleep, honey. Why don't you head for one of the guest rooms and take a little snooze? We'll wake you up if something interesting happens.
J
Actually, Cupcake, L just suggested drinking some chamomile tea. Pure chamomile, without anything else mixed in. She says it helps her, and her mother too.
J
Hahahaha i say NO to the beautiful distraction but my heart says YES!
I was neither physically or mentally prepared today, so its definitly all good.
Fingers crossed that you have a good day sweetie :)
and hope you have a lovely time with your guest, what are you cooking may i ask or are you ordering out?
Cupcake!!! How the hell are you apart from tired? havent spoke to you properly since before xmas.
Kisses to you both *mwah*
Hi J!
Aww you're so good to me.
Tell L thank you so much for the suggestion, I must try it some time.
But for now, it's dawn.
I have to go out in 3 hours so there's not a whole lotta use in me sleeping. lol
Perhaps I could lie down on Mayo's couch...
Cupcake your little picture reminds me of Rose McGowan, the bird who was married (i think) to Marilyn Manson. In the coma white video! You remind me of that. You look like you are playing dead. Its semi erotic and also timeless and classic at the same time.
Just my opinion :)
*blushes*
SIM!!!!!
I've missed you! apart from sleepy I'm pretty damn goo! How are you?
I just visited your blog XD
Oh SIM! thank you darling!
*blushes also*
SIM, I can't wait to see your DA site! I'm a huge art geek. Wish I had the skill. ^_^ I know what you mean about it being medatative. Even my crappy attempts are kind of soothing to work on sometimes.
Hi S&V honey, good to see you logged in! ^_^
Anima, aloha to you too. :)
Mayo: That sounds like almost some kind of resolution (not the new years kind, but in the "outcome" kind,) I'm just not sure if it's the one you wanted or not. A nice emotional purge is a good thing, yeah? As long as you don't say or do anything you'll regret? I dunno. I suck at this stuff. Hope everything's all right.
Cupcake, get to sleep!
But Kapunua, I have to be ready to go out in three hours!
Ahh well, I did have a nap this morning.
Anyway, how are you? hope you're well.
One more message. Calaf / Shakespeare / Spooky anon. Yeah, you with all the quotes and questions and randomness. Today I'm taking down the lights I put up when you first posted. It was the day you answered my question about Pretty and you knew what it was, and you got the answer right.
I haven't heard from you since the day I was working at the sanctuary and we were quoting Much Ado About Nothing.
Anyway, I would be sad if you never came back, so if you ever lurk, come out and say hi. More of this anon, LOLPun. God, I slay myself. ^_^
("But more of this anon" was an old joke made by one of my professors. He said that's what you say if you're ever in a Shakespeare play and you forget your lines. "But more of this anon!" Exeunt. ^_^ )
Oooo i will go visit there in a second cupcake. Im damn you are good aside from being sleep deprived.
Kapunua i would love to see some of your "crappy" attempts :) i bet they arent that crappy. Its easy to be critical of yourself. Whenever i write something i HATE it but i always keep stuff like that and when i moved house in the summer i found loadsa bits of writing i had done and because i had had sometime away from it, when i re-read it, i was way less critical and i could appreciate it more.
I think the thing with art is just to keep practising, theres no way you cant get better but i suppose finding the time is a problem for a lot of people. I really wanna see some of your stuff though. When im ready we shall have a swap if you like :)
"Oooo i will go visit there in a second cupcake. Im damn you are good aside from being sleep deprived."
oh deary me!!! How the hell did "im glad you are good..." come out as "im damn you are good"?
haha youre not the only one who needs sleep Cuppers :/ hahaha
Thanks for the picture comment cupcake :) *blushes again* hahaha
Shame in me said...
"Oooo i will go visit there in a second cupcake. Im damn you are good aside from being sleep deprived."
oh deary me!!! How the hell did "im glad you are good..." come out as "im damn you are good"?
haha youre not the only one who needs sleep Cuppers :/ hahaha
I was wondering what you were talking about! lol
SIM, gosh, they are crappy. I had one up in the Crimbo blog. I did an Escher window entirely on accident because I have no sense of proportion or visual perspective. It frustrates the everloving christ out of me. And I get intimidated showing my drawings to real artists.
Well in no shape or form am i a real artist, im a beginner haha that can draw Gerard Way!! That maybe the extent of my talents!! who knows!? Hope not, soon find out though
If the christmas blog is still up i will go have a look now.
How was boychild?
Cupcake yep im a dumbass haha :/
Where are you off to in 3 hours dear cupcake? anywhere exciting?
lookz likez da mayoz woof woof has gonez n diez. teehee shez a fukinz ed jobz. fugly bitchez
nowz itz cleanz
byez byez fimbe woof woof star
teehee teehee teehee teehee
>>ohz n well donez anonz @ 3.11 youz my heroz.
ohz n lynz is 2 fukinz sexyz to botherz wit any of youz. getz a lifez dumb ass
Kapunua you crazy lady!!! The first one is brilliant!!! Its really really good!!!
I knew you would be too critical. You're a very talented girl!!
and LOL at
"That's a character from the silly novel I pretend to be trying to get published sometimes."
What you mean you pretend?
Theres nothing up on my DA yet as i said i need to put some up, ill scan a few scraps and my Gerard drawings tonight sometime but add me, heres my thang:
http://tragic-ju.deviantart.com/
i have no idea how too link :/
Thankyou so much for sharing those with me Kapunua and dont worry you will get to see mine real soon.
Aww SIM, you're not a dumbass!
I have typed many nonsensical things in my time!
And I am off shopping... might buy some cds, music mags... a mad comic lol.
Kapunua, mind if I check your artwork out?
anonswers said...
ohz n lynz is 2 fukinz sexyz to botherz wit any of youz. getz a lifez dumb ass
January 2, 2008 2:02 PM
OHMYGOD!!! You're intelligient arent you!!!
Take your own advice mate and then Likez goez jump off somez cliffz yah?
Thanks, SIM. That one's not too bad but it literally took me frigging hours over the course of about three days. I don't have any natural talent and I have to struggle just to get something recognizable to the human eye. ^_^
I wish I'd taken an art class here or there, but after 8th grade I never took one again. I regret that.
I tried your link but it says you don't exist. O_o ANd I'm pretty sure you do. I can't wait to see your artwork.
Sure, Cupcake, you can look. :)
Scratch that, SIM, it just worked and I added you. :D
Kapunua, they're both very good, but I particularly love 'Fire Dancer', it's got a feeling of ..... vitality to it.
Very nice!
I don't have any of my stuff on the net, maybe I'll get a Deviant Art account someday.
what? why?
that doesnt make sense because on my DA page it says you are now watching me!!! So i must exist haha.
Three days? How long it takes you isnt a measure of your talent kapunua, Some people can paint masterpieces in a matter of seconds but i think for the majority it is quite a long drawn out process.
Its never to late to take a class if you can find the time that is, or get a book? I bought a book today on shading, although i generally know what hoes where sometimes i overdue it a bit so im gonna teach myself from a book, its not all about natural talent, you have to learn from others all the time.
The guy who isnt my friend anymore taught me quite a lot about drawing, he says even now he is always learning and he still always makes mistakes even though he does have natural talent. I think imagination will carry you over what natural talent you believe to be lacking in. and you have heaps of imagination so just stick too it Kapunua :)
Im getting bad urges to go be creative hehe :) I've seriously fallen in love with it.
hoes = *goes
LOL
god my typing is terrible :/
overdo not overdue
im seriously embaressed over my typo's today.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I wish Blogger had put there money into a spellchecker instead of them stupid orange B's :/
SIM, thank you. Yeah, I bought a few books a few years ago and they actually did help in a lot of ways. When I did the Crimbo blog one I hadn't touched a pencil in over a year so it was like "Uhhh, how do I start this again?"
Also, it kind of sucks because I don't have any good digital art programs. It's just not worth my time to buy anything really fancy because I will never get full use out of them. So I have Open Canvas (which is free, and really cool,) and Windows Paint. O_O
But totally, the books do help!
I wouldn't want you to be sad..so..
hi
Good afternoon/evening everyone. How are you all doing today?
Hi BC doll, I've gotta run sadly.... should be back tomorrow... or... oh bloody time differences!
Anyway, bye bye Mayo,BC, SIM, Kapunua, anons, anyone still around who I've missed, anyone who's been on here, ever!
xoxo cupcake
OOO i havent heard of Open Canvas before i need to get me some of that i think :) all i have is paint, but my friend is gonna do me a copy of Adobe photoshop so hopefully if that works on my crappy computer then i will be able to mess about with that.
Paint sucks ass :/ LOL
Hey BC :) Bye Cupcake
Anon, is that seriously you? ^_^
Catch ya later, CUpcake!
SIM, do check out OpenCanvas. The one I got was free about four years ago and it has a lot of neat tools to make hacks like me do better stuff. :) Paint does suck.
I think so.
Seriously?
Who can tell?
Well, you would be the one who answered a question that I had not asked. And/or the one who was quoting Shakespeare a few times. I was never 100% sure if those were the same two, but they were both really intriguing and fun. Were you that one/either of those?
I think I'll plead the fifth.
I just checked out Opencanvas and it looks really good!!!
Will download it when my computer aint being so slow.
Im gonna go get it on with my pencil now hahah probably be back later. take care kapunua and anyone else here.
hello everyone.
how's it going? hope everyone is ok??
Anon, that's not like you. ^_^
SIM, isn't it cool? When you manage to download it, let me know how it works out for you.
color me mysterious.
Ah, there we are. ^_^ You've been away for a long time, so it's good to read you again. Is your grace too costly to wear everyday?
Title and p.s.
They usually go together, don't they?
Do you see what I see?
I wish I had an anon to play with. ;)
That Open Canvas thing looks really cool. I used to draw/paint a ton, I haven't done much in a while. Trying to get into the digital age, 'ya know. And I have been trying to do some manips on my photos. This just might help! Thanks for posting that Kapunua.
Yes, he is trying to stop smoking.
I didn't even see that. Interesting. Any advice on quitting smoking, Mayo? I can't seem to shake it.
Heads or tails, buzz buzz. We've figured that already.
Quitting smoking is the best thing. I'm so glad to hear that. I wish I had some advice but my own small vices are insignificant--I would be a hypocrite. I can't even give up chocolate.
How long have you gone so far?
Could be.
Sometimes Mayo is so obvious that we miss the message.
Look again.
Anima, I can't wait to see what you do with it. Well, what any good artist can do with that program. I've had it for a year and I only know how to use a few features.
Oh. ^_^ I thought we were on a different post. Sorry. I was on an entirely different subject, also. It's confusing with two anons.
Wow, okay, ignore me. Calaf (does it bother you if I call you that for the sake of brevity?) I thought you were saying you were trying to quit smoking.
Never mind, you know? Let me just STFU and eat some more chocolate.
Heads or Tails, what other idea do you have?
Kapunua, I'm excited to give it a shot. I am going to download it tonight and playaround. I will definitely let you know what I come up with.
The longest I've ever quit was 3 weeks. And I think I have tried over a dozen different times. I just love to smoke. I know that is gross, but I do. Seems like the typical New Year's resolution for us smokers. I didn't even give a thought this time. I always end up disappointing myself and those around me. I need to give it another shot. I'm going on my 14th year of smoking. That is just terrible.
anima, you can play with me, hot stuff. ;)
Anima, after three weeks you have the physical aspect of the addiction beat. Does it help to think of it in physical terms like that?
So many of my friends try to quit and I see how hard of a struggle it is. But the good thing is that you're not making excuses for yourself. I think you should try again! Get that junk out of your system.
My friends who quit smoking say they can't believe the difference in the next year, how great they feel. That it's amazing to be able to breathe better, that food tastes better, their moods are better and they can relax a lot more easily. Pretty much everything is better. Maybe if you have something like that to look forward to? I wish I could help!
Good luck, Anima! Good luck, Mayo!
Awww, Anon, you are too sweet. Will you be my very own Anon? I've never had one before. If not, that's okay. There are a lot more interesting people than me to play with around here. I won't take it personal.
Interesting interview and oddly familiar. Please, read.
PLAYBOY: "How do you feel about all the negative press that's been directed through the years at Yoko, your 'dragon lady,' as you put it?"
LENNON: "We are both sensitive people and we were hurt a lot by it. I mean, we couldn't understand it. When you're in love, when somebody says something like, 'How can you be with that woman?' you say, 'What do you mean? I am with this goddess of love, the fulfillment of my whole life. Why are you saying this? Why do you want to throw a rock at her or punish me for being in love with her?' Our love helped us survive it, but some of it was pretty violent. There were a few times when we nearly went under, but we managed to survive and here we are."
PLAYBOY: "But what about the charge that John Lennon is under Yoko's spell, under her control?"
LENNON: "Well, that's rubbish, you know. Nobody controls me. I'm uncontrollable. The only one who controls me is me, and that's just barely possible."
PLAYBOY: "Still, many people believe it."
LENNON: "Listen, if somebody's gonna impress me, whether it be a Maharishi or a Yoko Ono, there comes a point when the emperor has no clothes. There comes a point when I will see. So for all you folks out there who think that I'm having the wool pulled over my eyes, well, that's an insult to me. Not that you think less of Yoko, because that's your problem. What I think of her is what counts! Because... fuck you, brother and sister... you don't know what's happening. I'm not here for you.
LENNON: "They want to hold on to something they never had in the first place. Anybody who claims to have some interest in me as an individual artist or even as part of the Beatles has absolutely misunderstood everything I ever said if they can't see why I'm with Yoko. And if they can't see that, they don't see anything. They're just jacking off to... it could be anybody. Mick Jagger or somebody else. Let them go jack off to Mick Jagger, OK? I don't need it."
My issue is that my addiction is so mental/emotional. That is the issue I need to get a handle on.
Kapunua, thank you so much for your awesome advice. You are the best.
Man, I am a HUGE Lennon fan and have never felt that Yoko was a "dragon lady" or any kind of evil influence. I wish like hell she hadn't tried to sing, cause damn, but I have always felt so terrible for her. Even after she watched the man she loved get shot down right in front of her, people still picked on her.
On the other hand, Kurt Cobain said similar things about Courtney Love. And she, after all, was a soul-sucking hose-hound.
John Lennon and Kurt Cobain were two very dissimilar guys.
What are you getting at, anon?
Anima, that's what my one friend says about smoking. I've got one friend who just really enjoys it, and one who does it for comfort. She keeps putting off quitting until she "gets her life in order." It's just a source of security for her. I think she feels that it's irreplaceable.
Supposedly there are herbs out there that get all the junk out of your system so quickly that smoking after you've drank them actually makes you nauseous and ill, or to feel as if it was the first time you were smoking. O_o
I always said that I would quit when I got pregnant. Well, I'm 31 now and not even sure I want any kiddies.
I just need something to kick me in the ass or punch me in the face everytime I think about smoking.
I haven't tried the herbal route. I'll look into it.
Hi Mya!
Anon, did you leave me already? I'm sad. :(
There's never just one anon, is there? It sure confuses things.
This is me, being a post-whore.
Anon, if you are here looking for people who are hating on Gerard's wife, you've probably come to the wrong place. While there have been a few people who have pointed the finger at her in the past and recently, I think that's pretty rare.
I think she's gorgeous. I loathe her band and their message. I'd never let any magazine talk about me the way they talk about her; I'd say something about getting into magazines just for being "the wife." I'd never let any man wear me like a fashion accessory either, but whatever. That's about all I think when it comes to that.
There was one wise person a few months ago who thought that there was "nothing prudent about this union," but I took "this union" to mean that awful dragging of that awful band on tour. I could have misinterpreted; I often do, as we all do.
Are we talking about Gerard Way here? His problems are his own. He started acting messed up before she was even in the picture. No one seems to know why the hell that is, only that it's gotten worse instead of getting better.
If that's not what you were getting at, then what? Let us speak plainly.
Anima, this might be a starting point?
you thinking about smoking right now, a?
*punches you in the face*
Anima, my husband smokes and has for quite some time. Funny thing is, he quit for four years, started back, then after he was in his accident he didn't get to smoke for over a month.
What was the one thing he wanted the minute he left the hospital?
A friggin' Butterfinger and a cigarette.
Now he smokes them like somebody is gonna take them away from him.
Hi all
WOW! This blog amazes me sometimes with its correlations to my life!
I went back to work today after vacation, and I had one cigarette from 7:00 this morning until 3:30. I was thinking on my drive home, that I really should just quit. Then I get panicky because I can't imagine not smoking. I don't drink or do anything else, so I always said it was my only vice. But, I hate being dependent on them.
I'm going to check out the herbal alternatives too.
Hello!
Kapunua, I think I am beginning to understand something about you. The writing, the drawing, the dancing..... the karate.
You are "one of those people". One of those people who can do things, and they have to try everything. Maybe skill comes easily to you. You probably remember things the first time they are said or taught to you.
But then you get impatient. You want to do it right. And you CAN do it right. You have a lot of talent. Then you leave other people in your dust and when they are not as smart as you are you get impatient with them.
I know someone like you, she is a friend of mine. A woman nearing 40 and she still tries everything. Rock climbing. Yoga. sending stories to a magazine. But then sometimes she gets bored and when she gets bored she becomes destructive. She gets bored with people and tosses them away. yet she is really charismatic and people are drawn to her. She sounds very smart in conversation because she IS very smart.
Do you get bored easily?
What you should remember is not to take it out on people who can't keep up with you. Yes they may not be as smart as you, but do they deserve to be snapped at for that?
I admire you greatly. You might be close to a genius if you didn't spread yourself thin and you concentrated on doing one thing perfectly instead of many things just "good."
I know, I know.... it's hard to be surrounded by idiots. (That's how my friend thinks of it secretly. And sometimes not secretly)..... But with a little patience you can be happier.
Hello Mya and Star
Sorry I had to take off for a bit. how's everyone?
Oops, I never said HELLO to anyone!
Hi Kapunua, Anima, Martha Jones, Mya and Anon.
Good evening Mayo.
Good evening Anima, Kapunua, Mya and S&V.
Hello Anon.
Damnit, the punch in the face came too late! I just went to smoke. But I really appreciate the effort Anon. ;)
Mya, I hear ya. It is quite the battle. I thought the same thing about the 'choking.' Wonder if Mayo had a smoke. Hmmmmm.
Also BC and Star.
Star, I wish everyone could quit! And run the tobacco companies out of business. >_<
Except that sometimes tobacco companies are the only source of employment for people.
On the other hand, the entire industry is so evil.
Here is one issue where I'm torn. I wish that there could be a good use for tobacco instead of it being used to control people's lives.
Hey, GS, how are you?
Dang! Gotta get back to the salt mine! (That means I have to get back to work.)
See ya!
Hello BC, GS, anima and kapu
Goodbye mya
Hi all who came in.
Bye Mya.
*punches you in the face extra hard*
so youll remember it later, when theres a craving.
Oh Anon, I just noticed that you named yourself. YOU ARE MY VERY OWN!!! That just made my day.
Hi there anima, Mj, everyone else, anons.
Thanks for the extra hard face punch. I think you broke my nose. But that's okay; I will remember the next time. You are the best anon ever!
i have smoked on and off for years. not always that much and def more of a social smoker but still addicted! i moved house just over a year ago and i'd said to my husband "i'm not going to smoke anymore when we move". so it got to the first night in our house and we'd been moving in all day and no cigarettes and i had none in my possession anyway. so it got to 9pm and my husband said do you fancy a cigarette then (he used to smoke a bit too) and god yes i fucking did!! but i said "no" i just thought if i go there now on the first day in my new house i might never be able to stop! you get sick of getting your coat on and going out in the garden for a smoke. you need it but you hate it. so anyway i didn't. since then i've probably smoked about 10 times. always special occassions involving drinking and friends who smoke. i'm kinda proud of that. if i have like 5 cigarettes 10 times a year and i don't do it at any other time well thats better than i was. but its hard as fucking hell to stop!! and at the end of the day however scabby and smelly the fucking habbit is, i love smoking!! just fucking do!
so good luck you guys that might be trying to stop!
not sure if my tale is inspirational or not but hey its my tale!
Good evening GS. Hi Mya.
Hi BC!
Anima's Anon, is there anything I can do for you? I don't want this relationship to be one-sided, 'ya know.
Hello FASC
Hey Star, GS, BC, FASC, and Anima's Anon, and errbody else!
hi guys!!
Hello S&V20
FASC, that is admirable! I moved in October, and now I only smoke in the kitchen by the exhaust fan.
I looked into that new prescription drug Chantix, but the side effects scared me.
I've never tried the gum, though. I should do that first.
Hey MJ and K and any other Anon's that might be here!
Thank you FASC for your story. I tried to do it just socially and failed miserably. Several times in fact. It's all or nothing for me. I always get so frustrated that I just end up buying a pack and it is downhill from there.
Hey there, S&V20. How are ya?
Hi there smoke, faraway, k,
star, anyone else I missed
Hey guys. How's it going?
Are we enjoying the New Year or what?
hello BC star Fasc Kapunua anima (congrats on having an anon)MJ SIM cupcake Mya (? or have you gone)
and anyone else
How is everyone today.
My power went off last night at 7pm!
loads of fun, no dinner finished so we had ham and cheese sandwiches (though I had peppercorn Mayo!) and of course being rural no power= no pump= no water!!!
So we had to get the electricity co up to fix it (it was their issue)
But they were really nice and it was back by 10pm
Pretty good, CTV. How are you?
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