Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ghost-imposed gag order.

You want this straight?

Then you have to be willing to hear me out, and that means all of it. You can not pick and choose the verse; the ugly shit has got to ring in your head too. The things that I say that cling to your clothes like mildew, the stench entrenched, leaving you filthy.

What is the matter? You can’t wash it off? Well, neither can I.

I repeat myself so much these days that the truth is often lost in the mix. Say it, say it again, and again. You try it and see how well rehearsed you can be. Sometimes I change my mind, and you use it against me. You will tuck it away, and bring it out for a later date, only to make me eat shit and lie.

And you will use it against me.
Tuck it away for a later date,
only to make me eat shit...

2,633 comments:

1 – 200 of 2633   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Ihekoa, can you work this out? Or is it beyond repair?

Anonymous said...

Hey listen. You know, if you want to talk or anything, we're here. Ghost, that goes for you, too.

Can't help but feel a little helpless. I know you're pretty much writing for yourself right now, but if there's anything we can do to help you--either of you?--let us know, huh? Because, you've been nice to us.

sdock10 said...

It's really that bad, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

A gag order? By definition it means that you are not going to speak when it is required. Also, this new post sounds angry to me.
It would be silly to ask this, but are you okay Mayo?

Anonymous said...

I know this is a long shot, but if you wanna chat on AIM, you know you can get a temporary fake account or whatever. shewolfkapu.

Hey, that goes for everyone.

toujours said...

never. never use it against you. say what you have to, say what's on your mind -- ugly or beautiful, it doesn't matter. speak.

i'll listen.

Anonymous said...

I knew it, you can't handle it can you ?...Can you feel it now...Didn't think so.

Vivienne said...

Wow.
Can't say that made me feel any better.
I care for you Mayo, but all I can do right now is cry for my dying friend.

Yeah, latest news, they're loosing him.

I'm loosing him.

So I can't cry for you now,

You'll just have to wait.

Anonymous said...

Which I realize is totally presumptuous of me, sorry. I don't really have the context and understanding to help you out.

But I wish you and our Ghost the best.

Anonymous said...

Squeak squeak, I agree, but Mayo may not want to talk at this moment. I think we need to understand that and be patient with him until he is ready to speak.

Vivienne said...

Now I feel like a bitch, I'm sorry Mayo, I care, I really do.
I hope you're ok. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Oh Cupcake, I am so sorry.

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

I told you I would wait for you.
Now help me understand.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Intresting post mayo. I wish I knew more about you. Maybe than I could say something that would help.

ergoproxy said...

wow mayo that sounds so angry
I really hope whatever has you in this state can b resolved

Anonymous said...

"It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers."

anima said...

You will tuck it away, and bring it out for a later date, only to make me eat shit and lie.

My heart is breaking.

Anonymous said...

Cupcake, you wanna chat on AIM?

toujours said...

bc, of course.

but he has to know that he has a place here, whenever he has something to say, whatever it is. i'm not here to be entertained by him, i've always been here to help in whatever way i can.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Cupcake you are going through you own shit right now I would think Mayo would understand you not being 100% here for him right now.

sally said...

We don't know you personally, we can be objective.

Whoever it is, they will not let you forget...why?...you hurt them deeply.
But you are only human, aren't you?

Vivienne said...

I don't have it.... it confuses me...lol.
God, that was such a forced lol.

Sad creature that I am, I'm crying for Mayo now too.

I opened a floodgate that refuses to close.

ergoproxy said...

You need to say the things you need to say mayo.
If they won't listen say it again and don't accept them assulting you back with your own words. You need them to ubnderstand you and you need to understand them.

I feel so emotionally shocked by this post, i jsut feel the anger in the words, more than any other post.

elena said...

Mayo I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to say. I've got no fucking clue.

Anonymous said...

Cupcake, my heart goes out to you. Try to hang in there. Remember that you have us *hugs*
Squeak squeak I think he does know that, but I don't think he's ready to open himself up entirely just yet. I think we need to take this thing one step at a time and just show our support and encouragement until he can put more trust in us, but that's just my guess.

Vivienne said...

Mayo, I have nothing to give but what love that remains in my heart.
Even if it's breaking.
We're still here.

freddycharles said...

Mayo, please just tell us...we are here for you even if we are not that chatty or visible (so to speak)

sdock10 said...

Someone who is a true friend will not keep throwing shit back in your face...and they certainly wouldn't make you eat shit and lie. They will take you for what you are and not try to change you or shape you into what they think you should be.

If there is truth that needs to be told here, the lay it out for us.

Anonymous said...

Don Juan say's....told you so.

toujours said...

mayo, there's so much frustration in these words of yours tonight, and i ache for you that you feel this way.

Jennicula said...

Mayo, I see your frustration. Please hang in there.

ergoproxy said...

hello Freddycharles

Mayo get it off your chest and let them do the same, then get some distance to digest it all (not the shit of course, that is just gross)

freddycharles said...

hello ergo...how are you?

Anonymous said...

digest it all (not the shit of course, that is just gross)


Ergo, you just gave me my first laugh! :D
Mayo, hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hi there Freddy how are you?


-BC

elena said...

Mayo your tone breaks my heart as do your words. Still we will listen. It's what we've been doing since the beginning. We won't stop.

Anonymous said...

It's been said before and I'll say it again..Karma's a bitch....What comes around goes around etc , etc...feel it now. Doesn't feel so good...does it.

toujours said...

mayo, whatever you need, whatever we can give you...

it's yours.

ergoproxy said...

good thanks Freddy. I have to go soon so I'm glad mayo posted when he did so I didn't miss hundred comments or so.

How have you been?

Anonymous said...

Elena, I agree.
Anon, are you going to discontinue with the taunting? It's pretty childish.

Vivienne said...

Fuck.... I don't know what to say....

anima said...

I repeat myself so much these days that the truth is often lost in the mix. Say it, say it again, and again. You try it and see how well rehearsed you can be. Sometimes I change my mind, and you use it against me.

That just sucks and I do not blame you for being angry.

Try slowing down. Stop doing so much. Put it on others. No one expects you to answer anything and/or everything. Yes, things change. And I do not agree with holding the past over the present.



Sorry if I'm talking out of my ass. It happens.

Anonymous said...

sdock10 said...

Someone who is a true friend will not keep throwing shit back in your face...and they certainly wouldn't make you eat shit and lie. They will take you for what you are and not try to change you or shape you into what they think you should be.


On the other hand, Sdock, a true friend doesn't just sit there and take your crap. I think there are two sides to this. And if your friend sees you changing and is worried or upset by it, they really should say something.

It's unfortunate when these things turn personal and escalate, though. I guess when there's so much emotion on both sides, it's inevitable.

Anonymous said...

New AIM name: swordofmayo

LOL. The other one wasn't working.

ergoproxy said...

anon, people make mistakes and they have to deal with it, but you don't need to rub it in, but maybe you were hurt too.
I know how it feels both ways

Vivienne said...

Wait, yes I do.

Mayo, we're here, begging to be let in, offering you anything, everything.

One last time.

Please?

elena said...

Anon better watch out. Karama is a bitch. Kick someone when their down and see what happens.

freddycharles said...

I am good BC, er..avenger...hope you are well! Ergo, glad to hear it...I'm glad I was here too, it's almost bedtime for me.

toujours said...

Try slowing down. Stop doing so much. Put it on others. No one expects you to answer anything and/or everything. Yes, things change. And I do not agree with holding the past over the present.

anima i like this very much. not talking out of your ass, at all.

Anonymous said...

Elena, I didn't know there was such a thing as Karama lol ^_^
Anon, friendly advice, but be careful what you wish for.

sally said...

Anon @ 11:14

Karma's purpose is to teach. I would say that he is learning a hugelife lesson out of this. We all fuck up in life, and we sometimes learn the hard way.

sally said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anima said...

Anon better watch out. Karama is a bitch. Kick someone when their down and see what happens.

I had trouble with coming up something for the anon, and this just said it all. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Freddy, where have you been? I missed you. Haven't seen you that much around here lately

ergoproxy said...

glad you came in freddy haven't caught you for ages.

I have a blog of peoples locations for a world tour if you'd like to join in

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you need to take a step or two back in order to move forward. No one should make you feel like shit, especially a friend. There is nothing you can do if this person will not let it go. Sounds like there may be some resentment building. It's not cool to keep bringing something up over and over again. They need to work through the issue on their own. I hope they can forgive and let go so you can mend the relationship. I think you have to ask how much this relationship means to you and how far you are willing to go to save it.

Anonymous said...

I agree, KD. Sometimes karma comes in the form of other people who are well aware of their role. Self righteous? Maybe. Necessary? Sometimes perhaps. Helpful? We can hope, but without context in this particular situation, it's hard to say.

Mayo, we can't make any judgment calls because we have only the vaguest guesses what you're talking about. Still I hope this is cathartic for you.

If you want us to back off this post, say the word.

Vivienne said...

I wonder if he's even still here...

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Mayo maybe this person or persons don't know how else to get through to you. They know what kind of person you truly are and they are worried about you.

You had said that you were acting off color even for yourself. Also you may see this as them throwing shit back in your face but what would you say or do if you were in their shoes. What things would you say or bring up to show another person that their off color behavior is worrying you.

Anonymous said...

Hey Velocitygirl. Are you one of those "LOL I've lurked since the beginning and I'm only taking a name now!!!!!!!111" anons?

Cause you know? I never quite buy that. I'm just saying. Well, whatever.

ergoproxy said...

KD I'd say you may be right, and lessons need to be learnt even the hard ones.

I just hope it doesn't do too much damage while it works itself out

Anonymous said...

I'm not trying to "make trouble" it just is what it is...for now. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Someone wanna pick up the raggedy ann doll and bring her back to AIM?

sally said...

Anon,

You are not making trouble. Kapunua is correct. This is a personal post, we can only interpret it so much, we do not know the situation.

It's also good for Mayo to let out some steam.

anima said...

Mayo, who do you want to really listen? Is it us, or it is someone else? I'm still not sure.

Vivienne said...

Guys, I think I'm gonna go.... there's a bottle with my name on it.
I've offered what I have.
There isn't room here right now dolls.XX

Hear that? that's my heart breaking.

Anonymous said...

Kapuna, I understand why you wouldn't buy it, but in this case it's true. I have posted a total of three times previously, all anonymous. I just didn't want to get completely sucked in. I don't get to read all the comments any more, it's so hard to keep up, you guys talk a lot. It feels a little weird to come in at this point, hope you don't feel like it's an intrusion. I know you all have built up special bonds here. It's quite endearing.

Anonymous said...

mj, if that is the case, well it seems that Mayo may also need to listen to what this person may have to say regarding his behavior or whatever else that is mentioned in the post because in life, sometimes it is neccessary to hear the harsh truth instead of wanting to hear the things you want to hear.

Mayo, even if at this point you are angry, you need to consider listening to what this person had to say and take their words into consideration. It can do you some good. This is real life and the truth is not all about sugarcoating. Far from it. You need to hear the truth, regardless if you do not want to hear it.

anima said...

If you want us to back off this post, say the word.

I second that.

elena said...

I'm sorry I have trouble with the whole concept of "learning the hard way". Mostly cause it's said by people standing by watching the person who's "learning". To me it comes off more like "told you so" or "that's what you get". Is this the way someone should learn a lesson? I don't think so.

toujours said...

mayo, i just -- this entry tonight is so painful.

of course you have the right to change your mind, to discover new things and new opinions, to always be growing and evolving. most of us don't have to worry that someone is going to remember some philosophy we held close to our hearts years ago. we just live our lives and do the best we can every day.

you do, too. i know you do. i know you're just trying to figure things out every day, just like all of us.

we just need to give you more room to do so, don't we?

sally said...

Cupcake,

Please don't go...or talk to Kapu on aim...whatever, don't hit that bottle, I'm imploring you!

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

Sounds like the debate has escalated into a shit flying frenzy. Right?

This is really hard with no story, no context....tough to understand.
But to make you this upset, it must be something or someone worth fighting for. Am I right? If it wasn't, you would have given up and said fuck it, but you haven't done that yet. Sounds like you are both a little bit stubborn. Is there any chance of meeting in the middle? Maybe clean up the shit together?

Is it all about things that you have said? Or is it more about choices you are making?

You are right honesty is rarely pretty...it's sometimes nasty and cold and hard and it sometimes smells. You've listened to him, you've listened to yourself...now ask yourself this question?

Are you being honest with yourself?

Not the fucking truth...truth is an illusion. Honesty...in it's nasty, pure, skanky, real form. Have you seen it lately?

What did I tell you the other day? Actions speak louder....you can talk, talk, talk all day long and no one will remember what you said, but act like a motherfucker one fucking time and they will never let you forget it.

My friend, you know where to find me. In my corner at your house or at mine....look for me.


Goodnite and may you find whatever it is you need in here tonight.

Love to YOU Always,
S

p.s. more tomorrow

Anonymous said...

It seems we get new people all the time, vultures who only come in when the pickings look juicy. We don't like that kinda thing. And most of them pull the "I've been here from the beginning but I've been too shy to post until now. But now all of a sudden I'm not shy and I have LOADS of things to say about everything."

Feel me?

MissTottenham said...

Cupcake, I don't know what to say to make things better for you sweetie.


Mayo, same goes for you sweetie.

toujours said...

cupcake, you take care of yourself, and return to us, okay? i want to see you tomorrow, understand?

*hug*

elena said...

cupcake that bottle does not have your name on it. Damn it woman, go to sleep. It will be better in the morning.

Vivienne said...

I hope you never felt that way about me Kap.
But I get it, if you did.
I would too.

ergoproxy said...

velocity girl It's nice of you to say, it is a special place

cupcake, please don't do anything you'll regret tomorrow, my thoughts are with you

Anonymous said...

Heya Cupcake, stay on. If you've got AIM, hit me up. swordofmayo. LOL, right? Or email kapunua at yahoo dot com if'n you wanna just talk or something. Or hit any of us up, it doesn't have to be me, any of us. Or just vent here. It's all cool. ^_^

anima said...

Goodnight dear Cupcake. And I agree, find someone, not the bottle. Please.






K - "pickings look juicy" I hear you on that one.

Fimble Star said...

mayo

so whats happened. that didnt take long did it. all i wanna say is that it was sunny where i was today. what was the weather like our end.

opps sorry i forgot you dont listen to whispers.. never mind. love ya anyhoot


hello everyone
Velocity
hello i not seen you before. you kind of scared me with your name. it reminds me of an evil person on buzznet that makes my skin crawl sorry

sally said...

I'm really worried about Cupcake. Does anyone have her email. Can they talk to her.

Anonymous said...

No, Cupcake; you never descended on us hungrily when crap was going down that looked like drama.

Vivienne said...

It's 3pm here, if I go to bed, I'll never get up.
As for the bottle... I don't want to go there.... it's just hard not to.
Pills to knock me out, pills to wake me up.
I've been so over-medicated I rattle when i walk.

Anonymous said...

I'll back off too, mayo.

There's only so far back you can go anyway before you hit another mirror.....

Anonymous said...

Kapunua...I think you are the only person that "get's it". I'm done, Man , It's like talking to a wall sometimes....Karma...yeah I've had mine 10 fold. I'm not wishing ill will towards him...just come back down to reality.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Cupcake I'm hear for you. Don't go.
Right now you have problems of your own you need to deal with don't worry about Mayo's Worry about your self .

Hug

sdock10 said...

Goodnite All!

You guys help Mayo figure this shit out, Okay.

And someone please find cupcake!!



Love you ALL!
Catch ya tomorrow!

MissTottenham said...

cupcake, my email is on my profile if you need to talk sweetie.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand Kapunua. I've seen them come in, and some of them have been downright nasty. I don't feel like I have loads to say, just wanted to interject a bit. I don't want to tread on any toes here. But I indeed have been here since the beginning, wasn't sure what to make of it for the longest time.

sally said...

Cupcake,

I'm not going to say I know what you are feeling, I don't, but please stay, you are important as well.

*hugs* to you.

Fimble Star said...

anon do you know him?

Vivienne said...

Oh MJ, I don't know how to worry about me, ya know?

And I see other people, it's so much easier to cry for them.

I'll stay here I've decided, until I'm the only one left, because if I leave, I'll only do something that will hurt more people.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Goodnight SD10

sdock10 said...

Anon,

Maybe that's what will end up being the death of me because I'm never done with someone.

I don't know when to quit a friend.

If they go down, well I guess I'll go down with them. Whatever it takes, I can't give up.


I respect your way of looking at things and I hope you respect mine.

Vivienne said...

Goodnight Sdock, *hugs*.... *more hugs*... *doesn't want to let go*

ergoproxy said...

I must go people, real life awaits

take care and cupcake, you be especially careful, things that look easy now may not be the best choices, stay here or talk to someone on email or on the phone,
hug for you sweetheart.
catch you all maybe later, but definately tomorrow

anima said...

Mayo, would you change your career? Or do you like what you do?

Anonymous said...

Sorry to scare you Fimble Star, but I can assure you I do not hang out on Buzznet. I commented once on the last blog and one awhile back but I don't like being lumped in with the other anons. I thought I should take a name, seems only fair if I want to continue commenting here. Just want to say that I know there have been some tough times here for a few of you regulars recently. Sorry for your losses and hardships.

elena said...

Anon if that's how you really feel help him come back to reality. Just make sure it's a reality that he can live with. Cause we all make our own reality. We all live in our own reality.

toujours said...

good night to you sdock, and i'm like you when it comes to friends. you usually have to kick me out. i don't go on my own. :)

Vivienne said...

Goodnight ergo *hugs*

sdock10 said...

Cupcake....wrap your arms around yourself and hold on tightly. OK?

Pretend that's me...and don't let go.

Promise?

Promise me that I will see you tomorrow!!

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Cupcake i know its not easy to worry about yourself. It is so much easier to fix other peoples problems than your own.

I'm glad you are staying with us. I will stay here tonight as long as I can. I just want to make sure you are okay.

Anonymous said...

Hey, guys, Me getting dogpiled by rabid fangirls for calling out G-Way about the "eff yourselves / moan for me" thing he does. One of them used the forbidden C-word at me, said the "vomit" video didn't exist, then asked why I was getting defensive.

They really are that stupid, aren't they?

toujours said...

see you later, ergo.

Anonymous said...

Remember this....

"Fuck people that say when someone
hits you in the face just turn the other cheek, and Karma will get
that person, but what if I am Karma? What if the buck stops with
me? What if I'm supposed to put this person down? After all, I'm
a fucking human being; I have hate, mistrust, and inadequacy.
Sometimes you just want to take someone by the throat until their
breath leaves their body." Iero say's

Sleep on this (No I'm not SS)...Goodnight.

MissTottenham said...

Nice to meet you velocity girl.

elena said...

Kapunua - Yes they are

Fimble Star said...

hey v

can i call u v. your name kinda scare meat the mo sorry. lol

so how did you get your name. what does it mean. mine is after my cousin sad aint it

Original Punk J said...

Ok, what the fuck just happened here? I was over at the last post, writing my little heart out, and now this.

I brought my comment over here. I don't know if it'll help, but here goes.


Original Punks said...
Anonymous said...
anima said...

I don't let myself dwell on the guilt of that. It's like settling. Yes, somethings are settled on. But the important things, you can't cut yourself short. Relationships especially



Settling will only ever lead to unhappiness, resentment and regret for both parties. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.


Anonymous,

You're not alone--I hear you.

The problem begins when you decide that the relationship you're in is the "right one" because you either have no one else to compare your partner to, or because you think "this is the best I can do".

What happens, then, if you meet someone else, someone who feels so right, so definitely MADE for you? Do you sit tight with your current partner, comfortable in your familiarity? Or do you take a chance on a grand passion that takes you completely by surprise?

A lot of people make the mistake of fulfilling others' expectations at the expense of their own happiness. L had a friend who, several years ago, was marrying a man she didn't truly love. She was standing at the door of the church, L next to her, and she was worrying about the future with her soon-to-be husband. L told her she didn't have to marry him, that she could walk away right then, that it wasn't too late. Her friend looked at her and said, "But everyone's in there, they're expecting me to go in, I don't want to disappoint people, and think about all the money his family spent..." She did eventually go in, and she married this man she didn't love.

Not many years after, they were divorced.

Basing your happiness on what others want or expect from you is not the way to live your life. You have to do what YOU want, what will make YOU happy.

Settling ain't gonna do it.

We all deserve to be happy. And if you're with someone who doesn't make you happy, you should ask yourself, Why? Why am I settling for this? Find the person who brings you joy, who gives you what you need to exist, who completes you. Enmesh your soul with theirs. It's never too late.

Because, as we like to say around here, its all about the love.

J

December 11, 2007 11:36 PM

Vivienne said...

Ok sdock, thank you MJ, and Kap, they make me sick.

Anonymous said...

If you're not SS, mind telling us who the hell you are? Why do all these anons stop by when things get dramatic? Where are all these anons and "people who have been around since the beginning" when it's just a bunch of us hanging out and talking to each other? Is it not interesting enough then?

anima said...

Cupcake, I'm sending you warm cozy hugs. Feel it? I hope so.

elena said...

Kapunua it's the scent of blood that draws them.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Kapu that link it didn't work for me it sent me to the main page.

It was funny because it said LJ where you can express yourself.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. We're not good enough to talk to when we're just chilling or when we have something going on. But our host comes on with something like this and they all come out of the woodworks with advice and things like that. Seems a little weird.

Anonymous said...

MJ, you can never "express yourself" if you're going against popular opinion. It's unpopular.

Vivienne said...

I feel it anima, I'm curled up into it.

sally said...

Kapunua, you're right. They appear for the melodrama.

Cupcake are you still here? Remember, the e hugs.

anima said...

Anon, wha?

Original Punk J said...

Sounds like we have an anonymous who just might be our host, speaking to his friend. Or perhaps it's the friend speaking to our host.

One way or the other, our boys are pissed at each other, and that is not the way we go here.

Mayo, SS, if you two are here, please come talk calmly and quietly. We will attempt to help you both if we can.

Please. We love you both. Please try.

J

Anonymous said...

J., maybe we can't help. Maybe Mayo just needs to write it all out for himself and all we can do is read and wonder and pretty much hope it's all okay. I can't presume to think I can help, though I'd like to. I just don't know enough.

Original Punk J said...

Cupcake, honey, we're here for you too. Always. Talk about it if you want, or cry, or scream, or just...be.

We love you, sweetie.

J

Vivienne said...

I'm here Katherine D....

Just watching as yet another wave of anons come circling in like vultures.

anima said...

J, I'm only part way through your post.

What happens, then, if you meet someone else, someone who feels so right, so definitely MADE for you? Do you sit tight with your current partner, comfortable in your familiarity? Or do you take a chance on a grand passion that takes you completely by surprise?

Grand passion can sometimes fool you. However, I think it is being around someone lovely that you can also be passionate with that is the ideal. It's not always storybook; but when it does happen, it's good (I mean the passion part). But also, if you could only have one part, which would you chose? It depends.

Original Punk J said...

Yeah, K, I know, but sometimes ya just gotta offer a hand, you know?

Guys, if you ARE here, just keep one thing in mind:

Don't do, or say, something you'll regret later. Friendship, loyalty, love. These are the things that matter.

J

Martha Smith-Jones said...

That is so true Kapu.

Hello J

I hope they do work this out. But I feel more for the other party in this situation because I have been in there shoes. Sitting there watching someone you care about destroy themselves. To scared to say something for fear that I might lose them. But after awhile you just can't take it anymore.

sally said...

The anons come and go cupcake, you stay with us.

I agree Kapu, this is between them, we are out of our depth here. We can only write about what we see.

Vivienne said...

Oh, and J, I love you too.
XX

anima said...

J, I just read the rest. You are so right. Lovely and perfect.

Anonymous said...

I know, J. I put the offer out there. We're here if you want to chat or whatever. But if Mayo doesn't want to or can't elaborate (or if his ghostly friend doesn't want him to,) then for whatever reason he can't or won't, then I guess there's nothing we can do.

Even though we want to help, sometimes I think that maybe offering too much can be a negative thing. The offer is there. I don't understand the situation--which is fine, we're not meant to entirely understand--and so all I can do is back off.

Hope you two guys will be all right. Meantime, we're here. That's all we got. ^_^

Original Punk J said...

Anima, yeah, I feel ya. If I could have my way--wow, what a presumptuous thought!--I would have that grand passion and keep it alive forever. And if I were comfortable with my man, I think the passion would remain.

Care to join me in my happy palace? ;)

Personally, I think it could happen. But I'm eternally optimistic.

J

anima said...

KD, so true. We can only write what we see. It's kind of challenging at times. I think. At least for me.

Anonymous said...

Not to be mean...but what you guy's don't know could fill a book...and then some. Just watch your back's. "Reppin' the East Coast."

Vivienne said...

staying, staying.....

Sometimes I wish Mayo would just say I'm not talking to you!...maybe I expect too much. Probably.
Gah, I lost perspective on what I was allowed to expect long ago.

Vivienne said...

Anon.... get fucked.

That is all.

Anonymous said...

Fimble you can call me V. I took my name after the song title Velocity Girl. Nice to meet you too MissTottenham. I apologize Kapunua if that last statement is directed at me. I didn't pick a moment of drama to enter in on. And honestly I really didn't want to get involved with another fan base, I've had some bad experiences with a previous fan base. People turn on people, things get really ugly, cliques form and I didn't want to get invested that much. It is no way a reflection on the quality of the people here, I have really come to like you all.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

I know we can't help but something tells me that mayo doesn't want us completely out. He is posting this out in front of us. If it was something he didn't want us to know he could have gone about telling the other party in a more private way.

I can't speak to what Mayo and the other party are doing but I can share what I have experienced.

sally said...

I sometimes wonder if this ghost is BmcC. Could be completely way off here.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Not to be mean...but what you guy's don't know could fill a book...and then some. Just watch your back's. "Reppin' the East Coast."


You know what you don't know? Where apostrophes go. And honestly, I'll take my knowledge of, like, how to write over whatever the hell "knowledge" you claim to have.

Anonymous said...

katherine dreier said...

I sometimes wonder if this ghost is BmcC. Could be completely way off here.


Nah. I asked Mayo that one time and he said it wasn't. ^_^

Original Punk J said...

MJ, I've been there too. With L. Twice. And they were shitty times for both of us.

I DID get in her face. Both times. And she was so angry with me for so long.

But you know what? It paid off. It worked. She got better.

It is hard to watch someone you love and care about destroy themselves slowly. You just gotta keep talking.

So yeah, I feel for Mayo's friend as well. It's a hard road to travel, especially alone. But I also feel for Mayo. The trouble lies far deeper than the surface. He has to learn to let that go.

Sorry if I sound like I'm on a soapbox, I don't mean to do that.

Thank you Anima. :)

K, you're right. All we can do is be here. And we have been encouraging Mayo to tell us what's going on. Venting is good for the soul.

We're listening, guys.

J

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Anonymous said...
Not to be mean...but what you guy's don't know could fill a book...and then some. Just watch your back's. "Reppin' the East Coast."

December 12, 2007 12:02 AM

And what exactly do you know anon. If you know so much than why not step up and do something instead of posting some bullshit here.

Anonymous said...

The anon about the "filling a book" is not me. Goodnight to you all. Just remember my other post's...it will make sense ...later.

Vivienne said...

I'll risk sounding dumb, who is BmcC?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

The anon about the "filling a book" is not me. Goodnight to you all. Just remember my other post's...it will make sense ...later.


That so? Because you use apostrophes wrong, too. Will that makes sense.... later... too?

Vivienne said...

Anonymous said...

The anon about the "filling a book" is not me. Goodnight to you all. Just remember my other post's...it will make sense ...later.

- Oh what a load of horse shit.

MissTottenham said...

Well, I'm off people.

Goodnight all, it was nice to meet you VG. I hope to see you around more.



Mayo, I just hope that whatever you have to do has a happy outcome sweetie.

anima said...

My computer is fucked. That's all I can say. Friggin' blogger. I want to vunch it real hard.

So, what are we talking about?

I don't know a thing about any of this. That's all I know.

Fimble Star said...

so v. i am intrigued. tell me about yourself if you dont mind. i like to meet new people. hehehe i am quite rude arent i. sorry i dont mean to. just interested

Vivienne said...

Goodnight Miss T.
Thank you for being such a sweetheart.
XX

sally said...

Okay Mayo, goodnight.

Thank Kapu, good to know ^_^

Cupcake BmcC is Bert from the Used.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Goodnight Misst and hello VG

anima said...

MissT, my love have a wonderful evening. My hand is always here. It may be cold, but it warm on the inside.

I will see you tomorrow. ;)

Amyranth said...

Christ, Mayo.

That post felt like a kick in the cunt from here. And I'm in cold, frozen Canada.

Are we getting on your nerves or something?

-Amyranth

Vivienne said...

Thanks KD XX

VG, Hello! sorry I haven't introduced myself.

Anonymous said...

These anons bail as soon as you hand them their ass, don't they? "Watch your back." El oh el.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

KD goodnight.

It's odd sometimes when I read this post I think he is talking to us.

Anonymous said...

Fimble, I came here as an MCR fan, just following a link like I'm sure most everyone else did. I got to see MCR at VFest in Vancouver, had a kick ass time might I add. I recently turned 30, I move around a lot, not sure what you want to know. Ask away.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's for us, Amyranth.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Hello Amy and FC if you are still here hello.

Anonymous said...

Where was the link posted, Velocity? I'm curious as to where (and why) people are linking us to all and sundry. We're really not that interesting, obviously, unless something juicy seems to be happening with our host.

Anonymous said...

eating shit, it's part of like, y'know?
every one's always willing to criticize, but who will throw the first stone?

i, myself know how that feels, but honey, if you can't get past that visceral taste, than there's nothing else to fight for.

Anonymous said...

life*

Original Punk J said...

Vultures...gotta love 'em. They can smell blood a BN account away.

Night Miss T and KD.

Hello VG, FS (glad to read you, are you doing ok?), and Amy.

J

Vivienne said...

Amyranth, I'm glad someone said it, I didn't have the strength, but yes, a kick in the cunt.....


Made by day from hell that little bit more soul crushing.
Oh well, I've grown to expect that from people.

toujours said...

good night miss t.

so, what if this entry actually is directed at us? what about the warnings he's been leaving everywhere...

"almost ready, are you?"
last night's p.s.?

just putting this out there.

we should do what we always do after a new post -- dither and plead and talk to him non-stop. if he doesn't want to hear it, he just won't read the comments, but on the other hand, something one of us says might be just the thing he was waiting to hear.

my two cents, is all.

anima said...

K - there is a lot of ass-handing around here. That's why it is good.

And a lot of ass grabbing just for fun.

Anonymous said...

Hello Everyone,

I have one more day and then I am free for 4 weeks. I think my daughter and I will go on a trip. I think we could both use a little vacation right about now.

And Mayo,

It seems as though you can use a little vacation yourself. I am terribly sorry for the pain and anger you are currently feeling. I only hope you can work it out.

Cupcake,

You out there? I am sorry to hear about your friend. I do not have much background on what is going on, but I know that you must be hurting. Hang tight, and stay strong, and rely on those closest to you when you can't.

So, can I get one of those gag orders for my husband?

-VM

Anonymous said...

'coming out of the woodwork...weird..'

for me, at least, it's purely coincidence. i don't always have the time to sit and chat, i have things to do.
fortunately i just finished my drawing final.

it's not about sounding high and mighty with advice.

excuse me for the successive comments.

elena said...

Anon could it please make sense sooner than later? Gotta tell you I feeling pretty confused. No, more than confused. I'm hurting. Not for myself but for the two people who are hurting each other. Yeah two side to the story I know. Only I don't know. I don't really know a damn thing. Only thing I know is I see the pain that it happening around me and there's not a damn thing to do about it.

Yeah the shit did hit the fan. I feel like I'm covered in it. Mayo posted and the shit throwing began.

Stop, take a step back and think. This will accomplish nothing. Work this out. I feel deep down it's what you both want. If you didn't you wouldn't be doing this. Someone would have walked away by now.

Damn, work on this. Don't throw it all away. It's too precious.

I gotta go shower the shit off now.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Kap...you are vicious. Those last couple of anons were not me , too many anons right now. I'm done.

Fimble Star said...

cool v. was it there show or part of a tour. wat was the concert like.

i havent had the chance to see them. i dont think i will ever see them. my friends arent into them.

you just turned 30. our resident princess just turned 30. when was your birthday
and 1 more question. where are you from. you can ask me questions to. lol i aint always like this sorry hehehe


OP J
hello there. how are you. i hope L mum is ok. i hated anything to do with my eyes i dont like anything near them.
i am ok. i chose to ignore the nasty anons. there not worth anyones words. but thank you to everyone again
xx

Anonymous said...

apologies for the large letters everyone. oops.

Anonymous said...

Kapunua I found the link on Buzznet ages ago, when it was first posted. First with a link to Loveman's blog and through that blog I found this one. It's probably still there, can't say for sure as I haven't checked there in quite some time. I get that you are skeptical, but I don't like having to continually explain myself. I am being honest with you, if I am not welcome I can easily go back to lurking. Sorry I don't want to come off as rude, I know there have been a lot of problems with the anons.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Star said...
I don't think it's for us, Amyranth.

December 12, 2007 12:15 AM

But it's odd Star, some of things in this post relate to discussion we have had about a certain person. Kapu has talked about ghost in regards to aim many of us have spoken about wanting that person not to speak anymore. And wanting him to be straight. We ae also bring up things from the past.

Original Punk J said...

Hi VM and TJ. *waves*

TJ, I'm with Star, this post isn't towards us. It's "to" us, I think; sounds like Mayo needed to blow off steam. He's told us that he needs us, he likes it here, and he has no intention of destroying the House.

Personally, I like that he feels comfortable enough with us to let go.

J

Anonymous said...

Nope, it just seems weird how when Mayo posts something like this, that's when all of a sudden all these people have something to say. when it's just a few of us chilling out, no one's interested. You know?

anima said...

K, I keep forgetting to tell you but one line that always makes me think everytime I hear it is 'launder my karma.' It's cool that you posted that song (that was a while back, but I just thought of it again with all the karma talk).

Martha Smith-Jones said...

VG you aer welcome to stay. No one is saying you have to go back to lurking.

Amyranth said...

Guys, I rather hope it's not us. Like I've said before, I hope if he ever wants to get rid of us he tells us.

I just hope that wasn't him telling us.

If it wasn't, Mayo you and your friend might need to take some time away from each other for a bit. Maybe too much time in one another's face is just exacerbating the situation.
Sometimes, as much as we'd like to vunch someone, it might be better to walk away and cool down. I have frequently said things in the heat of the moment and regretted them later.
However, I have said things particulalry nasty to people, and not regretted a single word. I'm happier without those individuals in my life.

It's a hard decision, and the scales will never balance. Don't torture yourself thinking they will.

-Amyranth

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Hello Vm

Anonymous said...

Hi Martha and OP-J

I hope everyone is well this evening.

I really need to find my blogger account info so I can sign in.

-VM

Anonymous said...

Anima, I'm so glad! Isn't that song the absolute bomb?

Amyranth, please keep this in mind: no one here has actually said bad things about Mayo. We tease him like we tease each other. There's no reason to think that this is towards you. We like him and we've told him that. Seriously, when has anyone here said anything rude to Mayo recently?

toujours said...

j., it's true, we never really know for sure who he's actually talking to in any of his posts, but if this wasn't meant for us then why did he basically tell us yesterday to come here today and wait for a post?

granted, he still might not be talking at us, but for sure this post is for us.

and i don't know, i can read it the way you guys are, but when i first read it, it sounded like he was talking to us. that's just my gut reaction.

Anonymous said...

Look you all think you have this "little world' ( is that right Kapunua)if not so be it..I'm sorry I'm not "perfect" like you ! whatever.What is your all's deal with anons? I see like 2-4 how come you talk to them ? Also whtas so wrong with BUZZNET (reppin' it) ? get a life you guyz !!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I completely understand Kapunua.

Fimble it was part of the Virgin Mobile Festival, it was two glorius days of music. The show was in Vancouver, got to see Metric, Billy Talent, Rise Against, MCR, The Killers and so many more great acts. If you ever get the chance to go see them you must, you won't be disappointed. The friend I went with had never heard MCR before, I had given her all the music to listen to before hand but she just didn't get it. Was kind of a bummer that she wasn't into it, but I enjoyed it so much.

My birthday wasn't like yesterday or anything, it was back in September, still getting use to being 30 I guess. I'm from Canada too by the way.

anima said...

I'm out for tonight. So tired.

Love to all of you.

Mayo, I really want to understand. We are all trying. Try not to get so frustrated. *Easier said than done, I know. They are only trying to help. I really believe that.

Vivienne said...

A coma....

Vivienne said...

Brain trauma...

Anonymous said...

You want this straight? Then you have to be willing to hear me out, and that means all of it.

Dear Mayo, if you are willing to allow the other party to hear you out, that also means that you have to be willing to hear the other party out as well. You cannot have it just one way. This is a two way street, remember?

What happens, then, if you meet someone else, someone who feels so right, so definitely MADE for you? Do you sit tight with your current partner, comfortable in your familiarity? Or do you take a chance on a grand passion that takes you completely by surprise?

OP, to be honest, that scenario scares me, but at the same time it sounds wonderful. I am quite the tough cookie, but deep down, I am a sappy piece of shit.


Hi again everyone. Hello VG, it's nice to meet you.

Original Punk J said...

Aw BC, I liked your capital-letter yelling! It was fun, got the point across. :)

Wait til you get older, you might see it differently.

Fimble, L's mum's surgery went really well. She's now had replacement lenses put into both eyes, which is what they do when you have cataracts nowadays, and she can see so much better! Thanks for asking. And I'm glad that anon left you be. They were beyond ugly to you.

Anon at 12.21am,

If you've been here before, you'll know that we only confront the people who stir up shit. Unlike yourself, those folks were acting inappropriately. K merely showed them the error of their ways.

J

Vivienne said...

Complications....

Fimble Star said...

anon i think you just answered your own question.

we dont turn down al anon. but think about what you said and how you said it. we meet nice anons on here to. you have to show respect to gain respect

Vivienne said...

These words mean nothing.

Martha Smith-Jones said...

Tj I have been thinking the same thing.
-----------------------------------I repeat myself so much these days that the truth is often lost in the mix. Say it, say it again, and again. You try it and see how well rehearsed you can be. Sometimes I change my mind, and you use it against me. You will tuck it away, and bring it out for a later date, only to make me eat shit and lie.
-----------------------------------
That part stands out to me.

anima said...

Anon, I think you meant "lyfe."

Hugs to everyone, including anons.

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