Most of it is gone now.
The rain having pelted the remains
the final time.
I passed by yesterday
and felt what could have been
your hand. The scream,
I won’t let go. Today
I stopped.
I buy gas and cheap
bags of pretzels, she wants candy.
I refuse,
and contemplate
what could have been
for you
in those last moments.
Did you let go
knowing?
Pump stopped.
Ten minutes I have stood,
you are here for eternity.
Always yielding, never turning.
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Missed a whole bunch of conversation, and new post. D'oh. >.<
Mayo, this latest post is so sad. Whoever it is you've lost, my heart goes out to you. Know that even when you can't go back, you can carry that love with you. It's a part of you, and forever will be. Pull it out and look at it when you're feeling down. It will always be there when you need it. Let yourself yield, or turn, as you need to.
Normally, I love discussions about death. But the gloom-&-doom factor in here tonight is HUGE.
Mustard said:
What the hell are we supposed to look forward to?
Death?
No. HELL, no.
How 'bout life? Good movies and books, being able to sleep in, rain, laughter, learning new things, new hobbies, friendship, time spent talking with our little Mayo-family here, guys with beautiful faces, chocolate, great sex, colors, animals... the list could go on & on.
Yes, love is a definite possibility. But don't ever think you're somehow 'less' because you're alone.
It takes strength to be with someone, to share all the little things that happen in a relationship. To smile & nod your head to agree while you're *really* thinking of strangling them.
But it takes just as much courage to "walk this world alone". Always remember that there's a world of difference between being lonely and being alone. You can be a solo act and still be whole.
I told you guys about my ex in a previous post, I think it was the one where we were discussing secrets. I've been alone, BY CHOICE, since I left him.
And it's not like I've been celibate for the last 16 years. You can be in love, and you can have great sex. One doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other.
You know the old expression, the one about the glass being half-empty or half-full? It's neither. The glass contains whatever *you* put in it. And it's up to YOU to decide what that is. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
*HUGZ* to all of you.
Tonight, I'm a student of PH & Hug Fu, rather than being my usual third-degree black-belt of Bitch Fu. ^_~
I'm off to bed, my mom & I are going shopping tomorrow. YAY, new boots await!
I love you guys!!
(Extra love to Carrie and Lolita, in case they need it.)
hello everyone.
mayo that is beautiful and heart wrenchingly sad. wow thats 2 blogs of yours that i think i understand!
i don't know what advice to give, you probably don't want my advice anyway, but if this is true and its about you, you've got to do something about it, otherwise you're just wasting your life and thats such a shame as life is so very precious.
gotta say also that when i logged on this morning and started reading the comments i got to lolita haze 2.16am
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running....
and demolition lovers was on on the background and that was the exact bit. it kinda happened in slow motion for me and was freaky, i got goose bumps!
anyway me and my hang over are leaving now! (its not a good one, 2 separate doses of medication have not even touched it), i think its gonna be a hangover hunger sort of day where i eat the entire contents of unhealthy food in my house!
Hello Mayo,
How's your Sunday going for you thus far? I have only been out of bed for about an hour, drank my cup of coffee, and here I sit. Talking with you. Why does that always feel so good? You challenge me to always look much deeper. Deeper than I even realized. I have searched for that my whole life and I will forever be grateful to you.
Of course I have read you post again and again. And perhaps, last night I was a little quick with my interpretation and insight. Today, I have a different view. I've told you before that I don't do so well with the literal definition of the obvious. My little friends inside my head are always telling me that something means something else and so on and so on. No wonder I struggle with decision making....
I do know what it is like to lose someone you love forever and to have that person constantly be with you. Their ghost always finds you. You just want to feel close to them one more fucking time. You know that you meant the world to them, but did they know how much they meant to you? You know you could have done so much better by them and you'll never get the chance to show them. You wake yourself up crying and gasping because they have died all over again in your dreams. The outcome never changes...they always die and you are left alone. You go through your regular life one day at a fucking time. Somtimes one fucking second at a time and when they find you again in your thoughts, you try desperately to hang on. But they slip away. You finally make yourself visit them and someone with you doesn't get it. They won't shut the fuck up and let you have your moment. They don't understand...but did you explain to them why you are so quiet today? Should you have to explain? I don't know. Part of me thinks they should just know.
What does one think about in those last moments? I would guess probably the same things we think about after. Did they know how much I loved them? Did I do enough while I was alive? Exactly, the same things. It is rare that one would actually go peacefully and willingly without a fight.
Let yourself grieve. As long as you are grieving, you are healing and moving forward. Do not hold it in. And do not shut people out. Not even your "candy" girl.
Move on in your life and let their ghost walk beside you, whisper in your ear, talk to you in your dreams, and guide you in your future.
Hope you are feeling better now. It made me feel better to talk to you this morning. I'll walk with you each day as long as you keep letting me.....
"I sometimes hold it half a sin, To put in words the grief I feel. For words, like nature, half reveal, And half conceal the soul within."
Lord Alfred Tennyson
Love to You Always,
S
p.s. forever faithful
There has been an interesting development.
Is three a crowd?
Hello
Hello
How are you today?
Im good, thanks for asking. I hope life is treating you well Sdock10.
Hearing you with my heart
And seeing you with my soul
and holding on to the faith
It's going pretty well for an early Sunday morning so far.
Just hanging out here and folding laundry.
Pretty uneventful so far.
I should embrace the calmness instead of always worrying about the storm up ahead.
Ya know?
Poignant words, as always, my friend.
None of us have all the answers.
I am still pondering a question of my own.
I don't think it has ever been this quiet in here. Spooky.
Turbulent times up ahead for all of us. I will keep holding on for all.
Thank you for being such a special friend to me. I always hear you and you somehow always hear me.
You are truly an amazing human being.
Sometimes I don't even know the questions themselves and that makes it entirely impossible to figure myself out.
What question are you pondering? I am sure you already know the answer to it. Don't you?
Hi Luci! Hi Anon!
Not here to intrude, just trying to catch up. Hope all is well with ya'll today.
Well hello there Mayo
Thank you for the new blog... it's a bugger that it's a bit of a dark one though.
Get out of the dumps. The previous blog you implied people preferred the false, extroverted you, over the real you.But what did you do - you just sat there contemplating the unjustness and turmoil of it.
This blog, you imply unyielding behaviour has left carnage behind you. You are still not over the loss of someone out of your life (not necessarily figuratively under the ground), and the present has it's own problems.
It sounds like you are on a very guilt ridden path of awareness these days. You can either learn from this new awareness and make amends, or not repeat mistakes of the past.
I'm going to say this once - for goodness sakes, cheer up. There are so many positive things you could be doing. Sort your own problems and stop taking on other problems until you are strong enough to do so. Just lift your heaad and dare to be you, flaws and all.
Believe in the power of positive thinking.
P.S. Feeling in a cruel to be kind mood.
Hello Beautiful Princess Smoke,
How is the fair Princess doing today?
Are you preparing for your birthday tomorrow and what are you doing up so early?
Yes, it was not easy, but I persevered and found the answer eventually. I wish I could share the Eureka moment with you. Very funny story!
Oops sorry SD10, anon and S&V20, I feel like I've just gatecrashed a private conversation.
*blocks ears and walks the other way*
I wish you could as well. We always need something to lighten the mood in here. We are way too serious most of the time.
And that is partially my fault, no that's not true. It is entirely my fault. ;)
I hope you have a nice relaxing rest of the day ahead of you, anon.
That's what Sundays are for, ya know?
No, PP. I just got here too. I haven't been here in a while and I was just trying to catch up a little.
Anon, won't talk to me. I don't think he likes the princess. Do you like the princess, Anon? Awww, don't make me cry on a Sunday. I try to never cry on a Sunday. I'm just kidding, Anon. Just messin' with ya. ^_~
Hi PP,
How are you today? I'm just hanging here and folding laundry.
You have not intruded at all, my friend.
It is the identity of another that eludes me now.
I recently made an assumption, and have since followed through and found my assumption to be way off the mark. I looked like a complete idiot, but that's nothing new.
anon,
Pull up a chair and make yourself at home then. Look around, we all feel like idiots most of the time.
You know that they say about assuming dont you?
When you ASS-U-ME, you make an ass out of you and me. :)
My high school bitch of an English teacher taught me that and I have never forgot it. She intimidated the fuck out of me.
Damn, sdock10, isn't it a little early to be using the F word this morning?
ummmm....
Thanks SD10 andS&V20. You always make us randoms feel welcome.
Sunday passed by here three hours ago and it was fantastic - love weekends. Monday reality bite will is waiting to snap me on my rear in five hours.
PP,
Ain't that the truth? The weekends could be 3 days long and it still would not be enough to prepare for the week ahead.
Where do you live PP?
I'm from jawhjah...translation
Georgia.....yeehaw!
And yes, we really talk like that.
Never too early for that, sdock.
Well, gotta run for now.
I'll talk to you later, Luci.
Anon,
We'll never give up. Faith, Hope and Love, right?
Always.
XOXO
Princess
What troubles me, is that without knowing their identity, I am unable to determine whether this person is friend or foe.
When I first read and understood what they meant by one of their comments, I immediately thought I knew who they were.
After reading subsequent comments from this person, I became concerned and decided to have a chat with him.
Trust me, no-one could fake the look of bewilderment and confusion that appeared on the face of this person this morning! I think he will be keeping a close eye on me from now on, he told me I needed to get some rest!
Later Princess!
From the South...of the Pacific, SD10.
I'd take your evil english teacher over the woodwork teacher we had when I was 11. It's not reassuring when someone showing the safe use of jigsaw cutters is missing three fingers.
Lots of laughs at anon 2:20.
I guess that's ASS-U-ME kicking in.
That's funny, but you know what? It's good to keep people guessing about your sanity and mental well being. It keeps everyone on their toes.
PP,
Damnit, thanks for the creepy visual. Although, if you could have laid eyes on this teacher of mine, you might have nightmares of your own. She looked like the hippie crypt keeper on a bad acid trip. But she was a damn good teacher and she had a gutter mouth. That made for an interesting class, always.
Sd10
She sounds like a person that lived for english and forgot to live for herself. People like that are fascinating.
I guess those lessons helped prepare you for FF2007.
good morning sdock, pickled possum, talkative anon.
i forgot to turn of my alarm when i went to bed last night. e_e
"off"
see? lack of sleep always draws out the typo fairy.
Good morning toujours
pp,
It sure fucking did.
Hi tj,
How are you today?
friend or foe? still undecided in your analysis?
i have my coffee, so that's good; but i have to do my laundry today, so that's an ugh.
conclusion: i'm so-so.
how about you guys?
I've been doing laundry as well, TJ. Some people would have me burning in hell for working on a Sunday, but I guess that's just a Southern Baptist thing....good thing, I am unaffiliated in that respect.
anon,
Are you still here? If not, thanks for the visit.
Listening, Feeling, Watching, and Holding on.
Love, Hope, and
Faith
always...
p.s. Identity does not matter...It only matters that you are my friend. Thank you.
Pretty good thanks, TJ. I have a severe case of eyes as big as owls at the moment. I swear the whole country here is asleep except for me.
Still laughing at anon, sorry. If you're known for doing odd, random stuff at times it's amazing what you can get away with when you actually aren't.
So we've gone along this far with no follow up hint from Mayo?
I'm getting a little concerned now.
Not even a "Check the time, and goodnight." Is he burning the candle at both ends?
-Amyranth wants to go back to bed.
*aren't... being random,
Sorry, attack of the grammatically incopmlete.
Goodmorning Amyranth.
i just came across news of a new tasteittv interview with gerard.
haven't watched it yet -- returned here to let you guys know -- it's probably a long one, so i'm going to go dedicate my computer to loading and running it.
do you want the link before i go?
Please excuse my abrupt departure, I was interrupted.
The reason I jumped to conclusions about the identity of this person is because they posted something that very few people would have known about.
I could not understand why they would post it here - then as events unfolded, I understood, and made the assumption it was a friend who must have found out about this place.
As I discovered earlier, I was way off, so the identity of this person remains a mystery. I'm not saying the person in question does not have good intentions, I dont know that. For all I know they may have good but misguided intentions. They may not realize that often, discretion is the better part of valor and sometimes faith has more substance and meaning than proof.
For those with faith, no blatent proof is necessary. Subtle affirmations are given - we know they will be overlooked by those less discerning, but will hold meaning for the astute and sagacious, securing the longevity of this blog.
Yes please!^
Miss Monster
...Grammatically incomplete, illiterate, and incomprehensible.
4am typo fairies are now attacking me as well, as TJ.
Oh dear, there's a bird singing outside already. And it isn't an owl.
Night all, take care.
anon,
I completely understand what you are saying.
And again, I thank you for every thing you do.
And I will do my best to keep on keeping on...
always...
Toujours, I just caught the link myself.
Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWB2TQJAovE
-Amyranth has to dash, G'Day all!
good night pickled possum.
welcome back, anon. i hope you don't mind an additional audience for your conversation?
i empathize with your account of mistaken identity. i've jumped to wrong conclusions here a couple of times myself.
but regarding the core issue of this blog -- there, i turn my logic off and let my heart lead.
cool, amyranth. have a good day!
"Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe."
-Augustine
For you, my friend.
Hi, all!
Hey, anonymous, how much would I have to pay you to tell us which, of the many anonymice we have roaming these halls (with or without a pass,) you are referring to? I've got a couple of bucks in my wallet, like maybe ten. Would that cover it? I mean, you could even just give a really vague hint, you know, a reference kinda thing; we like those. You could be like, "Oh, I can't tell you, you'll figure out which one it is eventually as we sail the oceans of confusion on the SS Mayonaise" or perhaps, "I won't mention any names or overt references, but it's the one who always talks about Joan of Arc," or maybe even, "Gosh, to tell would be to betray soemone's trust / spoil the fun, so instead I will be off tinkering with my computer for a while."
I mean, throw us a bone, here.
Instinct,faith and support, is always there for the fineline walking individual.
Proof proves nothing in this virtual world, but the heart finds what the searching eyes can not see.
Keeping the faith.
Thanks Toujour, I'm really off this time. *yawn*
Or is your confusion just pasted on, yay? Because mine is.
hey there,kapunua, good morning. your excessive use of subtlety always gives me a smile. ;)
Hello Mayo, PP, Kapuna, Sdock10, toujours, anons, and anyone else lurking.
Cant stay for long but I thought I best show my face around here for a little while.
How is everyone?
Kapunua - why don't I just give you my damn hat?
Hello Fearless K,
How are you?
Love,
Faithful S
"Anon"
If you're still here, what three are we to be concerned with?
Thank you for your words of wisdom, as always. Your knowledge never ceases to amaze me. And to let you know, just between you and me (and a lot of other people), I use "astute" and "sagacious" pretty much on a daily basis ;).
Thanks for everything. And I hope you're okay with the answer to your question. Maybe mine will be answered in the coming months or years.
Hi Jade, hi Toujours. ^_^ Yes, one must be very subtle, mustn't one? ;)
You know, though, sometimes all thist talk about faith and "seeing with your heart" gets right on my left nut. I don't owe anyone blind faith. Mayo is certainly kind enough to keep his blog open, and SS is certainly kind enough to grace us once every few days and make us smile, but we don't actually owe them much aside from decorum and our own occasional friendliness in return. I think to a point we owe them their privacy.
But we give them both a hell of a lot, too: encouragment, laughs, attention. I think that maybe a little more than "JUST HAVE FAITH!" would suit me once in a while.
Mostly because I think "faith" is what makes you forget to look both ways before crossing your fingers. And mine aren't even crossed.
Mayo, you never answered my question: Why do you think we're all here? Specifically us? Instead of screaming, bleating sheep?
Don't answer my question. Forget I even wrote it. I don't care. Just thank you. Thank you is all I or you need to be concerned with. Much appreciated.
K,
Give the anon a break. You are so tough on him. I know you like poking with your pointy stick, but my goodness....
I love ya babe!
You make me laugh.
Hi, Sdock. ^_^ I'm good, kind of giggly, punchy and laughing at everything today. I hope you're feeling the love, too. :)
Anon, if you gave me the hat, hat the hell would you tip? Your mask? Your noggin?
Goddamnit, I want to go to a concert but no one good is playing around here. :/
and the anon matches kapunua for use of excessive subtlety! ^.^
Aw, don't feel bad Kapunua.
Have you tried your local VFW club. I hear the older gentlemen put on a great show ;)
Aww Sdock, am I living up to Creepy Anon's view of me? AM I being too much of a wolf? ^_^ Meet me halfway with that sweet heart of yours, okay?
Sometimes I need to call people out. It's all fun and games till somebody's hat falls off.
Hey anon, yesterday I had a question regarding the "pasted on" anon who seemed to suggest that they were the one who wrote that first "hey, watch for this thing that's going to happen on Friday" post. But then another anon stepped up and claimed that one, too. Unless they are one and the same? Do you smell what I'm stepping in?
k,
I bet if he gave you his hat you still wouldn't believe it was his hat. Haha!
Would you send it off for DNA analysis?
kapunua, when i talk about seeing with my heart, there's not much "blind faith" about it -- it's more like trusting my intuition.
you know, using my super-special psychic powers to get me across the road safely. *heh*
Just thought i'd post this.
I was listening to Paramore's song 'Fences' earlier, and it sorta reminded me of Gee.
I'm sitting in a room
Made up of only big white walls
And in the halls
There are people looking through
The window in the door
They know exactly what we're here for
Don't look up just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be
You're always on display
For everyone to watch and learn from
Don't you know by now
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh open wide
Cause this is your night, so smile
Cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style
If you let me I could
I'd show you how to build your fences
Set restrictions
Separate from the world
The constant battle that you hate to fight
Just blame the limelight
Don't look up just let them think
There's no place else you'd rather be and now
You can't turn back
Because this road is all you'll ever have
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh open wide
Cause this is your night, so smile
Yeah, yeah you're asking for it
With every breath that you breathe in
Just breathe it in
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walking
I said let's see you walking
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess
You do all this big talking
So now let's see you walking
I said let's see you walking
And it's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying
And oh, oh open wide
Yeah oh, oh open wide
Yeah oh, oh open wide
Cause you'll go out in style
You'll go out in style
Well I mean, when you wear so many of them... ^_^
You know what I would love, though? Honestly? In all seriousness, I truly thought about this yesterday for a good fifteen minutes and it made me smile hugely just to think about it. I would love to actually tip my hat to SS. Seriously, just be like *subtle nod* across the room or something like that, just to test the waters. Swear to god, that would make my night.
K,
Do you think we could lure Adam out to give us a one on 2 concert? That would totally be so badass!
Damnit, make that one on 3 cause the Princess would have to come along too.
...nothing but love, Adam. Nothing but love....
good morning, mustard. how are you?
forgive me for not greeting you before -- i'm back and forth between here and the youtube.
Their initial comment led me to believe I knew their identity, but I was way off the mark.
I do not know if they are one and the same person, but I suspect they are.
Hi Mustard, Jade, and anyone else I have missed,
Hope you all are doing well.
K,
You talk about hat tipping to SS. Well SS, makes me want to get Latin tattooed on my body...hahaha!
And I don't even speak Latin or have tatts....go figure.
The Latin book I bought at Books-a-Million....is a dead fucking lick. I haven't been able to use it for shit. Since, now we have cryptic Latin speaking anon.
oh well, oh well.
Hello Toujours, and hello to the rest of you lovely people, Mayo and "Anon" included.
My apologies, yet again, for barging in unannounced and without greeting.
So, Hello!
anon,
Did you just go up to them and ask them if something had pasted or not or did you just start speaking Latin?
No wonder, they questioned your sanity and well being.
Always good to play the crazy card every once in a while. It can give you a good escape route when you are in a tight spot.
Didn't help us yesterday, did it Sdock?
If it were me, I'd burn that book, or ask them to take it back off your hands ;)
Mayo, you do know the face.
And I will stay as long as possible, i am not one to stand by and say nothing, as you do.
Anons want information, want answers and should have it.
They ask, why not just ban anonymous post.
You know the answer to that one.
You still have the upper hand, remember that.
This anon, is not here to harm, just inform.
Nothing i say will infringe on privacy, or indulge in make believe.
Think of me as a ray of light, in a room of darkness.
I will (not) shy away or bow down.
I will (not) set in a corner as some do.
Here i find freedom, the same freedom you have found.
And here i will stay, a sheep, but a free one.
I am an anon who cares and will never harm or break an oath of trust.
This blog is so much more than words can say and i leave it at that.
PS. I know you want me to pasted away, but i will not!
Think of me as a ray of light, in a room of darkness.
*giggles*
I change my initial assessment from months ago. This is WAY more interesting than watching my leg hair grow back.
Sdock, I have nothing with which to lure TBS out for a concert. But damnit, they are homeboys! THey should just do free concerts for me all the time! ;D Like, right out here on the East end, for pete's sake. None of this Nassau crap.
I have to go out for groceries. You guys need to try not to have too much fun without me. ^_^
Morning all!
Looks like I"ve missed out. Hello K, Toujours, Mustard, Jade, SDock, and of course, Anon.
Interesting discussion, yes?
J
P.S. Anon, why'd you put "not" in parentheses?
Hello OP!
How are you doing L?
good morning j. ^.^
very interesting, indeed. the video interview is, too.
morning meh loves
I know i say i will never respond.
But i just could not pass that one up, we all have weak moments.
hey SDock!
Actually, it's J, not L. She's out of town til Wednesday.
Not bad for Sunday AM. Gave the cat his pill and the bunny his Benadryl, turned on cartoons for that same bunny, and am here, hanging for a little while.
How's by you? Y'know, we're practically neighbors.
J
Video interview? You got a link?
J
video!?
Don't feel that that's a bad thing Anon. We all do. It takes courage to admit it, too.
Forgive me J, I need to put my contacts in. I remember L. saying she would be off.
Sorry.
Video link to what interview?
amyranth left it -- just scroll up a bit.
Hells Yeah, J.
How far away are we from each other? 5 or 6 hours maybe?
I love Tennessee, but it's been so long since I've been.
Hello there, Mayo
Sorry I didn't look properly at your beautiful words last night...forgive me!
I love this, I really do!
You and I know I'm crap at this, but here goes:
Are you at a crossroads? Do you need to decide which path to take?
You’ve got there as a result of ‘unyielding left hand turns’
Unyielding; not giving way to pressure or persuasion. Stubbornness, maybe?
Left being the opposite of right.
Have you followed the wrong path, done the wrong thing?
Has this lead you onto another ‘sinister’ path? (‘to the left’ latin fans!)
Have you steadfastly refused to get off that path, I know you’re a stubborn one!
What has the rain washed away? The stubbornness, guilt, pain. Don’t let it wash away hope!
Do you still feel them? Are there things you need to say, things you need to hear?
‘The scream’…….are you screaming Mayo? Does it torment you, are you unable to let it go and move on?
‘Today I stopped’ …… did you realize something?
Why didn’t you buy her candy? She is not the one you feel is she? Does she not deserve sweetness?
The next lines make my heart sink and ache for you Mayo.
‘and contemplate what could have been for you in those last moments.
Did you let go knowing? Pump stopped.’
Oh god, I hope I’m wrong in what that makes me think. If I am I’m sorry.
If I’m right I can’t offer any words, just love! You can’t let yourself be eaten up by things you should or shouldn’t have done and said; your life must go on.
They are with you for eternity, they live in your heart. They know!
They are in your heart as you stand at that crossroads; take the path that’s true to it and you will find what it most desires.
Mayo, this has touched me in a way I can’t begin to describe.
Thank you so much for sharing it.
Love and Best Wishes!
MIB,
Have you tried to play a video on youtube with dial up? We could be here for hours, maybe even days....
oh well, here goes.
The interview.
Take note of her personal question, and why she changed it, it was avoided, why?
Do Tell, now that you know i will not.
Hi guys,
can't stay..gotta go back to work!
Haven't even caught up yet, catch you later!
i'm paying very close attention, anon. thanks for the tip.
Oh, dear goodness gracious.
I will be here for 12 hours waiting for it to download.
Can someone give me a quick play by play or recap?
A CHALLENGER APPROACHES!
Sorry about that. ^_^ I really am going out shopping now. I hope you guys will fill me in on this whole interview thing; but remember: our anon here could have simply seen it before, it doesn't necessarily imply that s/he had this info before the interview came out. I'm just sayin'! Take note of when things were filmed, huh?
I'm not always trying to bust people's balls, but sometimes I feel like we're a blindfolded audience. I suppose that's half the fun but I also don't like to see people whose e-company I enjoy running around all franticky after nothing at all, if that's indeed what it is.
Because I like you guys. And I like SS. And I like Mayo, too.
Ad I fully understand that the loss of anonymity would put an end to this, and it's the last thing I want. I just wish I could tell the anons apart sometimes.
Welp, enjoy your Sunday! I'll be back later once my soup is on.
(That's not some kind of cryptic reference, I really am going to cook soup. Lentil, from scratch! Wish me luck, because I fail at this cooking thing.)
My my, he IS much better at it.
Which side of his ass was he talking out of?
Anon, right as always. What's the deal with "four months and they're gone", by the way?
J
Sdock:
Us trying to download that would be a joke. 12 hours? More like a couple of days.
A quick recap for ones with a slow phone line would be greatly appreciated.
B, I'm here. and I'm listening. We needa talk, asap.
V
J,
Tell us about the interview.
Please!
Good morning/afternoon/evening TJ, DG, Sdock10, Anonymous, MIB, OPJ and anyone else still around or lurking. Oh, and of course Mayo!
I just stopped in to say Howdy to all. Unfortunately, I can not stay. There is much for me to do today!
Like the last blog, this blog post reminded me of another song. I don't find it SO dark.....perhaps a bit grey. So, I shall leave you all for now with the thoughtful and inspirational lyrics of LIVING IN THE GREY by Lillian Axe (google them, ya won't be sorry *wink*)
"Now when your blue skies turn to grey
And your eyes still turn away
It's the time to let it go
Out of the dark will shine a light
Everything's in black and white
˜Til you let your spirit grow.
Stars would shine above you
So everybody loved you
So why'd you go and throw it all away?
The Times, they are a-changing
My life is rearranging
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
Breathing with a reason
The everlasting season
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
So many years until today
Lost, but now you've found the way
An open mind can open eyes
So now you're open to the pain
Sitting naked in the rain
Well, I will dry the tears you cry.
Angels must have sent you
'cause everybody meant to give you time
But then you slipped away.
The Times, they are a-changing
My life is rearranging
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
Breathing with a reason
The everlasting season
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
Stars would shine above you
So everybody loved you
So why'd you go and throw it all away.
The Times, they are a-changing
My life is rearranging
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
Breathing with a reason
The everlasting season
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
The Times, they are a-changing
My life is rearranging
I'm living in the grey, yeah.
Breathing with a reason
The everlasting season
I'm living in the grey
Feel better soon BD and hugs for all!
I will leave now.
Mayo you do not have to worry, just open up a bit.
And maybe then i will pasted away!
Like i said before, i am neither friend nor foe, i am in between.
good luck on that soup kapunua -- lentil is good stuff!
mustard, sdock. i'm slogging through it. half-hour later and i've seen seven minutes of thirteen! *weep*
Toujours:
Have you seen this "personal question" part yet?
MMM...let's say that the words sure don't back up the actions.
Lots of talk about shit bands who only make an appearance with dance rhythms and weird clothes, but who don't say anything with their music.
That's just one element. My memory skills are a tad sketchy, but he also says that any artist needs to connect with his art, but that he believes that the on- and off-stage personas don't always have to match.
Anybody else seen it yet, who can add to it?
That, like I say, wasn't the whole thing, but I'll need to watch it again to get more details.
J
I meant 'feel better soon BC' :)
Hello and bye to DG and 616!
Have a good day!
Well I am only a minute in...
Hi anon616!
Thank you J.
I'll have to watch it tomorrow when I get the high-speed back.
Sdock:
I'll try to recap tomorrow if someone hasn't already. Sucks being in the caboose ;)
Bye Anon, have a good rest of the day. Maybe you'll come back later tonight and visit. That's my plan, too.
On my oh my oh my. Changes on the way, eh? Possibly the slaying of unicorns?
love, peace, happiness
J
What is wth all the fidgeting? Nail biting, head scratching, shirt unbuttoning, It was very distracting. Also, nice choice of location.
i don't think i've hit that question yet, mustard. plenty of interesting topics, however.
brigette always gets the best interviews out of him.
He tends to fidget when he's nervous. But I believe other, um, substances were perhaps involved. I didn't catch the location, though, too busy watching him. What WAS the location?
J
anon @ 4:45, thanks for visiting. you've helped to make it an intriguing morning, to say the least. :)
I see what looks like liquor bottles behind him, maybe?
Oh, she did that interview?
I like here. TasteiTv right?
I watched another one she did with Gerard and Bob. She asked some straightfoward questions, like, that had nothing to do with band stuff. Just life stuff. I cried.
Good morning guys!
All doing fine this sunday?
The interview was interestin indeed.I watched the part where she didn't ask the personal question, over and over again and still can't see why it was avoided.I think it's to early for me to decipher anything.
I would recap but I'd do a bad job at it. I'm not even sure if I'm seeing and hearing what I'm suppose to look out for.
The location was at a bar, I believe.
hello everyone,
Hi anon, hope everything is well today :)
I woke up hangover and headache free!!! haha its a good day today
Gah. I'm thinking maybe I don't want to see this one.
Location: Somewhere that has liquor bottles. A bar maybe?
Fidgeting, restlessness, unbuttoning of shirts, biting nails, extreme anxiousness.
Anything else you can tell me?
Hello SIM and Entropy!
BAR?! I guessed correctly then. Or incorrectly, whichever way you want to look at it.
Did someone post a link to that interview?
Hello Mustard!
How are you?
One more thing, for someone i love to watch post, I will give in and respond.
The interview was in Germany, i do not post every detail, just the ones that are overlooked, or important.
As of yesterday it had not been posted on you tube, or anywhere else, I did not imply anything as to when it was taped, just that there was another interview.
I will never be half right on anything, promise.
Hope that clears that up for you.
As always forgive spelling and grammar.
PS. Do question everything, it keeps you on top of things.
Mustard:
Vacant stare sometimes, interchanged with looking at the interviewer with no expression. Acting like he wasn't paying attention half the time. Twitchy. Biting nails, much more fascination with that. Gaunt. Hair everywhere.
How's that flip your pancake?
J
http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=AWB2TQJAovE
Here you are Silence and Hello to you!
i don't think it was actually a bar -- she usually seems to talk to him back stage or behind-the-scenes. maybe this was just the bar area of the hall in luxembourg -- i don't know, but there was background noise that sounded like set-up/tear-down to me.
totally guessing, of course.
Is this recent J?
Like after PR, on the European tour, obviously filmed in Germany?
So, recent, recent.
I don't know how it flips my pancake. I wish dial-up would dial the fuck up so I could see it!
Anon,
Thanks for replying, I know you're taking chances you shouldn't have to take. We all appreciate the effort.
Be safe, be well.
I'd say "be loved", but you already are.
heart to heart
J
Is it just an interview of him? No other guys? Just him?
It's recent, MIB, he's wearing the wedding ring.
J
Thank you anon.
Just him, Mustard.
Just his fidgeting self.
It seems like he was trying to distance himself from the band, the fans and the message.
very recent interview, if its germany then 3,4 days ago. no other guys there just him. yeh he was twitching, shifting his weight around, smoking but he's like that in alot of other interviews. he was standing up doing it so you probably feel more uneasy. it would be very easy to read something dodgey into his actions so for that reason i'm not going to. i wanted to know the personal question! she got all tongue tied didn't she and then never asked the question.
he looked lovely i thought. i am liking the growing out of the hair very much!
it's from luxembourg, november 7. last wednesday.
He did sound sort of egocentric. What's up with that? Merely isolation, or something more?
J
Hahaha what bad manners he threw his cigarette butt on the floor of the bar haha hope it wasnt carpeted :)
I really liked his shirt and hair, he looked really nice if not a little gaunt
He was also stupidly fidgety at one point but i think i would be a 100 times worse if i was interviewed so that probably means nothing.
one thing that clicked with me though was at the end when he said they were gonna play a cover in their live show because they were having to do one for the BBC (radio 1s owner!!!) and they were gonna see how it went. A song by creedence i think he said. Anyone seen any you tubes of this cover?
Anons want information, want answers and should have it.
They should? Says who?
This anon, is not here to harm, just inform.
If you want this blog deleted you are going the right way about it.
Like i said before, i am neither friend nor foe, i am in between.
For or against. There is no middle ground as far as I am concerned. I have already made up my mind.
The interview was in Germany, i do not post every detail, just the ones that are overlooked, or important.
I guess you could say the location of the interview was an important detail, as it was filmed before the show at the Atelier in Belgium.
I have no effing clue.
I should be able to let you guys no something in about 6 more hours though........
I am 3 minutes in....arrrghhh
ger, do you miss 'her' already? have you felt guilty because you just walked away, once again? hmm, how does it feel to know that she is dying inside?
V
shame in me i picked up on the cover too. may be it didn't go well live and thats why they pulled out of live lounge??
I caught that too,SIM.
He seemed so siked on the cover and so final. That makes the cancellation even more interesting.
maybe farawaysoclose maybe, things are gettin a bit heated i see :(
I dont want this blog to be deleted, im missing far too many things at the moment to lose this aswell... somebody always fucks it up for the rest of us dont they
I'm gonna head out you guys.
I'll be back intermitantly. I'll catch up then.
All of you make it a splendid day everybody! Talk to you all later!
Mustard
hi entropy :) nice to see you. hope you are well
My computer is being so slow, im trying to search for a video of there cover song but pages are taking stupidly long to load up
Aw Careful,
Don't tell me I got played. That makes me feel kinda stupid.
J
Talk to you later, Mustard.
Hey SIM,nice to see you too.
Bye mustard take care :)
B, if you are here , I hope you are ,leave me a fucking sign.
V
Anonymous said...
B, if you are here , I hope you are ,leave me a fucking sign.
V
November 11, 2007 5:43 PM
what is with all these all of a sudden? are we harbouring missing people or storeaways now?
Has anyone else noticed that SS's blogpage says this:
"Then there were three==watch this space."
Changes?
J
Original Punks said...
Aw Careful,
Don't tell me I got played. That makes me feel kinda stupid.
You are not stupid. SS is not stupid. Both have good hearts and see only the best in others. Qualities I admire and respect, but no longer possess.
"Watch for changes." I keep wondering, good or bad? Maybe both?
I think Entropy said this was taped in Luxembourg.
My parents lived there at one point.
Luxembourg's in GERMANY.
J
I noticed J. Is that what "watch this space" means, changes?
just finished it. yay dial-up.
gauntness? due to overhead lighting, people. made his cheekbones look sharper than usual.
fidgitiness? nothing extremely unusual on display.
distant? again, i didn't see anything unusual -- i've noticed that in the longer interviews he starts off a little aloof and warms up by the end.
i did think it was interesting how his behavior changed with the personal question, though. he seemed to get a bit riled up answering that.
and substances? i'm not an expert, i couldn't say, but before a show? i should hope not.
that's my take on the interview, for what it's worth. maybe not much. i'm not the smartest cookie in the jar, here.
oh, but whatever else is going on here, it's worth it to slog through even on dial-up for the f-bomb part -- i almost choked on my breakfast! funny!
sorry i missed saying good-bye to you mustard. catch you later on throughout the day though, i'm sure. :)
Careful,
Let's talk a little. Where do you fit in to this melodrama? What do you get out of this? I double-dog dare you to tell me.
BTW, thanks for telling me I'm not stupid. Maybe a little doubtful, though, now.
J
careful said...
Anons want information, want answers and should have it.
They should? Says who?
This anon, is not here to harm, just inform.
If you want this blog deleted you are going the right way about it.
Like i said before, i am neither friend nor foe, i am in between.
For or against. There is no middle ground as far as I am concerned. I have already made up my mind.
The interview was in Germany, i do not post every detail, just the ones that are overlooked, or important.
I guess you could say the location of the interview was an important detail, as it was filmed before the show at the Atelier in Belgium.
November 11, 2007 5:25 PM
Repetition for emphasis.
J.
Those changes happened earlier today.
Toujours,
If you look at his hand when he runs it through his hair, you can see what I meant.
And as for using before a show? Got one word for you:
DETROIT.
Not being ugly, just nudging YOUR memory. :(
J
Bonjour!
How is everyone this morning?
Hello Careful!
Hey V!
Hey Entropy!
Hey Toujours!
Hey OPJ!
Hey people I missed!
*HUG*
Hello all and how are you guys on this fine and lovely morning/afternoon/evening? Well that is if its fine and lovely for you.
Hello Paperheart!
Hey Martha!
sorry i'm behind on everything. why might this blog be shut down??? look i've gotta crack on with my kids but will pop back in later.
love to all.
CAREFUL!
Dude, LIQUOR BOTTLES BEHIND HIM!!
The interviewer is GERMAN!
I just went back and looked.
Luxembourg is in GERMANY, not BELGIUM.
J
hello paperheart. how are you, dear?
V
Entropy and PH hello to you two.
Hey Entropy! *HUG*
So we found the interview that the other anon may be talking about?
Hey Martha!*HUG*
You can be in a bar and not drink
Just saying, just saying
Hey V!
I am doing good, How are you today?
*HUG*
Hello and Goodbye FASC! *HUG*
Heya Bubbles! Hey MJ! Forgot to say Hey Entropy! And hey to all others I didn't greet. Come join the excitement. Go watch the video first, though. Amyranth gave us this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWB2TQJAovE
J
Hey FASC just wanted to say thank you for thinking I could crack the new Latin anon's Latin. I'm have trouble with it but thanks.
hi paperheartxx.
it's okay, j. -- like i said, i really have very little experience recognizing someone who's using, so i'll have to defer to others, and hang on to my (vain?) hopes.
can you give me the time of said hand through hair, so i can watch it closely?
and the new message at ss's? why do i suddenly feel like i'm on a very rickety bridge, over a very deep chasm? the ropes are fraying, or am i just being over-imaginative again?
Gel,
The drinking wasn't the issue; the location was an issue. "Careful" says it was backstage.
J
Hello OP j just finished watching a little while ago. I was wondering if that interviewer lurks here with some of the questions she asked.
Just from watching the first minute of the interview, I can tell something is very different about him. He looks so much skinnier and he's using weird hand movements again.
oops. hi to everyone else i missed because i take too long to write and post comments. :)
j. -- luxembourg is part of belgium, and also it's own country, i thought?
I'm fine paperheart, thank you. I've missed you as well.
V
Hello Gel and Tj.
Well are anon friend did say there would be a change PH.
Toujours, I don't know an exact time, he does it throughout the interview. Just keep looking, you'll notice the tendons kind of flex on the back of his hand. His hands usually reflect the rest of his weight.
J
That is good to hear V! ^_^
Indeed he did Martha.
Did anyone else want to give the interviewer a pat on the back when she asked about someone singing about respect then being a complete asshole off stage? I loved that question!
gotcha, j. there's no doubt he's thin, i was just pointing out that the lighting accentuates it.
paperheartxx. those are his usual weird hand gestures. :)
And TJ, I asked my mom just a while ago, and she said it was in Germany. Has that changed since the 50s?
So...where did Careful go, anyway?
MJ, I wondered that too. Wow.
PH, glad to know I wasn't the only one who saw it.
J
If it is backstage, maybe all of those bottles of alcohol are Lyn-Z's.
J, I see what you are talking about the hands.
luxembourg is border by Belgium, France, and Germany.
It's not in Germany.
It's part of Belgium.
luxembourg is a princapality it is classed as its own country so it isnt in germany or belgium
Straight from the Luxembourg National Tourism Office website:
The world’s only Grand Duchy, Luxembourg is a constitutional monarchy neighboring Belgium, France, and Germany. Covering less than 1,000 miles, Luxembourg is home to nearly 450,000 residents, with about a fifth of these individuals residing in or near Luxembourg City. Roman Catholic is the primary religion, and foreign residents represent more than a third of Luxembourg’s population.
Ok, so technically it's both. But still, the liquor bottles. They're on shelves. More bar=like than backstage-like.
J
j., i looked it up, actually, because i was starting to confuse myself. (lame, i know!) my almanac says it's independent, (constitutional monarachy), my dictionary says it's a grand duchy and a province of se belgium. used to be controlled by germany though.
and that's my nerd research.
Luxembourg is country in western Europe.
I love the questions she's asking. I really do. ^_^
If it is backstage, maybe all of those bottles of alcohol are Lyn-Z's.
yeah, damnit! hahahahaha.
V
Afternoon, m'ladies!
and my late nerd research, to boot.
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