Monday, November 26, 2007

Off the grid.

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I have come to terms with the fact that eventually I am going to have to mention it. Will it be with sweeping metaphors or outright denial? Perhaps no one will understand.

For now I am listening to the little voice, and reevaluating priorities.

My lovelies, you are free to assume whatever you choose, but I will not be ignoring you. The electricity just doesn't buzz the same and I can't always find the switch.

End of the year...this shit is always out of hand.

p.s. this is how I have always imagined it for someone else.

3,959 comments:

1 – 200 of 3959   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

All I see now is black and white. Maybe it represents confliction or an internal battle?

Anonymous said...

Okay, possibly it is not confliction, but it may be something that we do not see with our eyes, or perhaps, yours. Something that is not shown here, something that has possibly been pushed aside? Maybe caused by denial?


Out of mind, out of sight.

toujours said...

ha! a picture. cute.

still, i'm glad you are listening to your inner voice. don't let go of it, it can be so damn hard to hear sometimes.

i'm in a worrisome frame of mind, so i'll just pretend that's what's affecting my reading of all the rest of your entry tonight, ok? crossed wires.

take care of yourself, dammit.

life's hard enough without at least having even one person to look forward to, you know?

Anonymous said...

You lost me. I don't like it.

Not the picture, but what you're saying here. Or what it sounds like you're saying.

Anonymous said...

Ah squeak squeak, the thing that kinda worries me is how some of us are worried that something may happen. Not sure what to think here

Anonymous said...

Mayo, talk.

Andrea said...

Wow, that image is blinding.

So things aren't the same, they're a little out of control, and you're taking a step back. I don't blame you. Reevaluating priorities is always a good thing.

Why did you imagine this for someone else and not for you?

Anonymous said...

This post doesn't sound too good. I don't like it, but I could be wrong?

Original Punk J said...

Mayo,

First we get the bitter Anon in the last post, now we get this. They also mentioned priorities. I have a sneaking suspicion of who our anonymous caller is, but no proof. Female, I'm guessing, and one step removed from you.

Mention what, exactly? Maybe I kind of know this, too. Metaphors, denial, "no one will understand". Man, my radar is flashing so high right now, I can't even tell you.

"How I imagined it for someone else". Are you talking about your last post, brother? Conventional acts?

Oh, for a phone and a number.

I have so many questions but yet so many half-formed answers. And I don't know if they're right, of course, but maybe soon I'll figure it out.

Don't ignore us, babe. We're here to help, offer advice, lend an ear, or a shoulder.

Keep looking for the switch, ok? And paying the bill on time helps, too.

BTW, lovely picture.

I'll be back to talk to you again, my friend.

love you love you

J

soulconnector said...

Hello to all

Mayonaise says..
Perhaps no one will understand.


Perhaps someone will understand.
`sc

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ, yonder cloud, me thinks 'tis like a whale.

Mayo, I know you're still on. Talk.

Original Punk J said...

Mayo, sweetie, come out and talk to us. What's going on in your world? We can help you if you tell us.

J

Anonymous said...

Mention it now, Mayo. Why wait? It's the end of the year. Stop trying to be diversional.

Anonymous said...

Hi there SC. That sentence you posted, seems to me that Mayo is acting selfish here.
Mayo, you know you can always talk to us.

toujours said...

go off the grid tomorrow. give us one more tonight. please.

please.

it's bad enough already.

Original Punk J said...

Mayo:

Is this what's bothering you?


Anonymous said...
He's doing what he does best. Being selfish. He knows it, I know it, everyone knows it but nobody will say anything. They never do. There is no point. I've seen you pull some shit in the past, but this is low. I will fight you on this. Even if you win it will be a hollow victory because the resentment will be there, under the surface. What kind of man uses emotional blackmail to get his own way? I will leave you to think about that. I suggest you take a moment to reflect on your priorities and ask yourself what is really more important.

November 26, 2007 1:09 AM


Who is this person?

J

Anonymous said...

I think I may know what this post is, but I can't be certain.

Anonymous said...

Mayo?

Anonymous said...

Mayo, you imagined WHAT to be like this for someone else?

Screw metaphors, just for now. Come on, dude. We're worried. I know you're reading; don't be sadistic.

Original Punk J said...

I have a really big, nasty idea of this anon's identity, and what this means.

Mayo, can you tell me?

She's fought you in the past, I think. For a while now. And she is not your friend.

J

Anonymous said...

Screw metaphors, screw the anons, screw the end of the year. Come on, man, don't be like that. Get your ass on here and say something.

Original Punk J said...

I am not liking this radio silence, Mafia. Anyone?

J

Anonymous said...

Mayo, don't let me go to bed without hearing from you.

Mayonaise said...

Tell MissTottenham I deleted the alternate universe.

I learned my lesson well enough. I do not want to continue causing anyone pain.

It is life, and it is beautifully unexpected.

Anonymous said...

Mayo, I am going to assume that you are who some of us think you are. Does this have something to do with Mikey?

Original Punk J said...

Mayo,

Tell me one thing, please.

Did reevaluating your priorities involve another person in your life?

J

Anonymous said...

Well, thank you for deleting the other blog Mayo. Miss T will be pleased, I think. *scratches head*

toujours said...

so if it's like this at the end of the year for you, you know how to weather it, you know how to get through, right? you'll be back, right?

whatever you're doing, whatever you're going through, you aim to get through it, right? no noble riding of into the sunset?

mayo, please.

soulconnector said...

bc says...
Mayo, you know you can always talk to us.

Hi bc,
yes, but will it be accepted?
`sc

toujours said...

thank you for talking to us.

Anonymous said...

Thank you; I feel a bit better but, as to the rest of it?

Mayo, there's something going on here in your post that doesn't feel right. Dude, care to explain even more?

Original Punk J said...

Mayo,

C'mon, sweetheart, just a little more info, as it is I may not get ANY sleep tonight.

Please. If you care for us at all, please tell us a little more.

J

Anonymous said...

sifting through,

and i've still got nothing.



i think your lack of blatant honesty is getting the best of us. desperation for an answer.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're pleased with your life and all, and you cleared up the ast "it" but what is the first? The "it" that you're going to have to mention?

toujours said...

It is life, and it is beautifully unexpected.

and so you're going to keep looking for the unexpected, i hope. around every corner. for the rest of your natural life.

Original Punk J said...

You know we're gonna bug you until you answer us. We're worried about you, man.

J

Anonymous said...

I swear to god if this whole big dramatic thing is because you deleted some other blog, I'm going to kick you.

Don't you know what people are thinking? can you really not see it? Your "lovelies" as you always say? We ask you for clarification a lot but I don't think that most of us push you too hard. Right?

toujours said...

and we always hurt people, we can't help it. we can't read minds, it happens. it's not the pain that we cause, it's how we heal the pain we cause. don't you see?

Original Punk J said...

Anonymous said,

I will fight you on this. Even if you win it will be a hollow victory because the resentment will be there, under the surface.


Mayo, who the Hell hates you so much?

J

toujours said...

we're not the center of your target, i get that, we're the diversion. but you're scaring me.

Unknown said...

Mayo,

I think the only one you are causing much pain to is yourself.

Many resons are here to.

You've helped us.

Now it's OUR turn to help YOU.

Let us.

Please don't be afraid.

We'll be here for you-I'll be here for you.

Anonymous said...

And I'm not so sure we're free to assume whatever we choose. It seems more like we're free to assume whatever YOU choose for us to assume.

We may never know, but this is more in your hands than you think.

Anonymous said...

^Now who the hell?

Mayonaise said...

I see that you are all in a dither, and trust that was not my intent. Try to not read to much into my post. It is all there, but it is perhaps more obvious than you have come to expect from me...perhaps?

toujours said...

you have connections here, little strands of spider thread, but connections all the same.

Anonymous said...

You know we do that, Mayo, and I guess we're never clear on what your true intentions are. It's always "all there." It just sounds more worrisome than normal and I mean that in a lot of different ways.

I'm not asking you to give up your mystery. I'm just asking, like I always do, for a little context.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Punk J said...

Perhaps. Won't you just tell us what you're saying, then? We're worried, honey, really and truly. You're not doing anything harmful, are you?

J

toujours said...

well, you are our king of cryptic, aren't you?

toujours said...

so give us a little, ok? calm your dithering lovelies so we can sleep easy.

Anonymous said...

Babiikay, who the hell are you?

Unknown said...

I'm someone who cares.

Is that enough?




[I'm not trying to be rude]

Anonymous said...

It's not enough. Care to elaborate?

Mayo, same goes.

Original Punk J said...

All right, let's analyze.

You have a "secret" that you are going to have to reveal. But, you're not sure how to go about that. You're thinking, people won't like me if I tell it.

Right now you're going on intuition. Good move, by the way.

You won't be here very much but we shouldn't assume the worst. You have a lot of shit going on and need to concentrate. Or else you're going away for a short period of time.

Holidays bring up emotional baggage.

Whatever it is, you never thought it would happen to you.

All right, am I close?

J

Unknown said...

How do you want me to elaborate that?

Like my name age etc. or something?

Anonymous said...

It's a start. Or how you found this blog, or what you think is going on, or WHY you care, or who the hell you are.

toujours said...

here's for obvious: my first leeting thought when reading this was that you were going to be away from a reliable connection. "off the grid", different current.

is that obvious? because i dismissed it as being so. because you're the poet, right?

but there's still more there that worries.

Original Punk J said...

Here I go with the bluntness again.

Dude, are you going to rehab?

J

Anonymous said...

AIM: shewolfkapu. I'm still on if anyone wants to talk.

toujours said...

i'm starting to calm down. a little. but can you say just one thing more? can you tell us just one thing more to really calm me?

yes, i'm greedy, yes, i worry too much. but please?

Anonymous said...

Anyway, at least tell us what it is you think no one will understand. You said "my lovelies" so you're addressing us. Which means this probably has to do with us, which means, what?

Babiikay, you have yet to elaborate.

toujours said...

and i ask because you've been so kind to answer us already.

Anonymous said...

You always end with a jade's trick. I know you of old.

Unknown said...

Okay I found this blog because someone was bashing on Mayo and thought wtf? Their going through enough etc. so I decided to read all of Mayo's blog.

I care because I know what it's like somewhat. Not like I can relate 100% or whatever I have some idea though.

I am not going to give out my name. It's kinda this thing I have.
M'sorry if you can't accept that.


Now you.
Who are you?
Why do you care?
Etc.

Anonymous said...

You will never run mad, niece.

Original Punk J said...

M,

You should know by now that we accept you and your decisions, whatever the reasons. We will not judge you, nor turn our backs on you. We've ALL learned to trust each other, I think, and with that trust comes understanding.

If you don't want to tell us what's going on, that's your right. Cool. Please just let us know that you are alright. Will we need to send in the Mafia as back-up?

We love you, honey. Feel it? Good.

J

toujours said...

for the first time in my life, i do not want to hear shakespeare.

Anonymous said...

Okay I found this blog because someone was bashing on Mayo and thought wtf? Their going through enough etc. so I decided to read all of Mayo's blog.

"Someone was bashing on Mayo?" "Their [sic] going through enough?" Who was bashing on Mayo, and where? And who was "going through enough?"

And what makes you think you have a clue what's going on here?


Now you.
Who are you?
Why do you care?
Etc.


I'm Jules.
I care because I like the people here.

Anonymous said...

Leonato said...

You will never run mad, niece.


Not till a hot january.

Who the hell are you, now?

sister midnite said...

Uh huh... not sure what you're talking about, or trying to talk about. Are you trying to tell us that you won't have much time to play with us?

Like we couldn't have figured THAT one out on our own.

I went away for ONE... FUCKING... WEEKEND, and all hell broke loose in here. 2400+ comments in one day. if that ain't unreal, I don't know what is.

Re-evaluate all you hold dear, Mayo my man. (Or woman, it's all the same to me.) And then do what your heart tells you is right.

<--- back to catching up!

- Sis "Fuck-The-Shower, I'm-Not-In-The-Mood" Midnite

Anonymous said...

ILU Sis Midnite. I never even looked at it that way.

Original Punk J said...

BabiiKay,

No offense, but we really don't need a newcomer tonight. Our friend needs us, and we are busy trying to help. Would you be so kind as to leave us to do it? Thank you.

J

Anonymous said...

January is supposed to be rather warm this year, to be honest.

redrum said...

There's always someone out there who will understand—that's one of the most frustrating things about being someone who likes to be mysterious. It keeps you connected, at least. Everyone needs that. Even the enigmatic among us.

toujours said...

just for once, just for once. no weird anons, no cryptic quoting, no games. just tell us: "hey, i'm okay. don't worry. here's a cookie."

please?

Unknown said...

Okay I found this blog because someone was bashing on Mayo and thought wtf? Their going through enough etc. so I decided to read all of Mayo's blog.

"Someone was bashing on Mayo?" "Their [sic] going through enough?" Who was bashing on Mayo, and where? And who was "going through enough?"

And what makes you think you have a clue what's going on here?


Now you.
Who are you?
Why do you care?
Etc.

I'm Jules.
I care because I like the people here.


Some girl who thinks she know everything.
Mayo.

Okay, what's with the 20 questions?

Seiously, all I am trying to do is try and help.
Why don't you except new people coming in?

I'll just ask you questions like that from now on.
How'd you like that?

Original Punk J said...

Hi Sister--glad to read ya! I was kind of getting worried about you, hadn't heard from you. Happy that you're ok.

J

Anonymous said...

For god's sake Mayo, was that you messing with me earlier today?

I guess Sis Midnite is right, huh? And you've probably got to run. That's cool, whatever, be well, be safe. Keep in touch when you can.

But you frazzled all of us. ANd you frazzled me. So spare us another moment of two, jesus.

Anonymous said...

Babs, ask away, I have nothing to hide. We've been playing this game from the beginning and we like it.

And it's "accept," not "except," for godsakes. How the hell can you help if you can't even spell? Christ.

Unknown said...

BabiiKay,

No offense, but we really don't need a newcomer tonight. Our friend needs us, and we are busy trying to help. Would you be so kind as to leave us to do it? Thank you.

J


That's great.
I'll leave you to it.




[watch it crumble, out.]

Anonymous said...

LOL, our tower is falling without some random new person to help OH NOEZ. PLZ DUN GO BABS!!!111 Only you can decipher the code!!!!

Mayo, you've turned me into a raging bitch tonight. What will my Mom think when she reads that stuff?

Original Punk J said...

Alright, now that you've worked us all up into a lather, Mayo, you clam up.

I swear, you've been taking lessons from the anons.

I still want to know who wrote you that bitter anonymous post on the other blog, the one I posted here.

At least give me that much, brother. Ok? Thanks.

J

Unknown said...

Babs, ask away, I have nothing to hide. We've been playing this game from the beginning and we like it.

And it's "accept," not "except," for godsakes. How the hell can you help if you can't even spell? Christ


Way to use the Lords name in vain, great.

Oh shit, I mispell one word ONE and it's like a damned war or something.
Like you haven't done it before.

Okay, I'll leave now just stop talking about me.
Shit- the last time I will ever try and help anyone.

Original Punk J said...

You know, I don't recall ever asking for her/his help, do you guys?

J

Anonymous said...

Jade's trick, J. To the last.

Hey Uncle, who the hell are you? Why'd you disappear? You know I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

You?

Anonymous said...


Way to use the Lords name in vain, great.


Jesus zombie tapdancing christ, are you really going to complain about that? And who the hell do you think you are "helping?" And for godsakes, how?

toujours said...

babiikay, it's just bad timing, i hope you can understand that. you showed up when we didn't have the ability to be friendly because we were too focused on our blog dude. it probably would've been completely different if you had made your first comment like, this afternoon.

Original Punk J said...

Ok, maybe we should quit talking to BK. All it will do is agitate them, and maybe bring them back. they're gone, and that's what we were asking.

J

Anonymous said...

And maybe hadn't come blasting in here like Rambo without a jockstrap talking about "OMGzzz I GET IT! I CAN HELP U!!!!"

toujours said...

well, yeah. that too. ^.^

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Mayo, you still on? I guess you've probably got to get up early tomorrow--it being Monday and all and you going to work--but assuming that you can sleep on your commute you could pop in and chat a while longer. You effed with our heads whether you meant to or not.

Were you that anon today? The "colorme amaaazing" one? Because that really messed with me.

Anonymous said...

Babs, I thought you were gone. Little esprit d'escalier there? Christ on a cracker. Walk away with a little dignity.

Original Punk J said...

Mayo HAS been more playful lately, K. Who knows, he might've had a wild hair come over him.

But, are you still here, Mayo? You didn't answer my one question. You can even do it cryptically if you like. I'm easy like that.

J

Unknown said...

babiikay, it's just bad timing, i hope you can understand that. you showed up when we didn't have the ability to be friendly because we were too focused on our blog dude. it probably would've been completely different if you had made your first comment like, this afternoon.

Okay, I get that.
Thank you for putting it like that.
Just make sure to help Mayo.
That's all I'm asking.

Good day, evening, etc.

sister midnite said...

Mayo, if you're still here: ARE YOU OKAY?

Shit, dude. Now you're scaring me. And I don't scare easily.

Please, just tell us you're okay?
Please?? I'm asking as nicely as I can.

((Hi, OP - J! I'm okay, just coming back after some time away from keyboard. How are you & L?))

Anonymous said...

And this one will rip your throat and your pride out through the computer. Watch her..... She bites..........

Anonymous said...

Go back to INO babikay. You say they've been through enough. They have. Don't add to it.

ergoproxy said...

Hi everyone
hi TJ

Anonymous said...

NOW what??

toujours said...

ok, mayo. so, tomorrow -- probably not morning, probably more like the late afternoon, given the quality of my brain -- i'll be re-reading your post and i'll suddenly go: "oh! i get it!" and i'll re-read your comments, and will thus be retroactively comforted.

but tonight i still really just want that pat on the head.
pathetic, maybe, but honest, at least!

Original Punk J said...

Sister M, L's niece's house burned to the ground early Sunday AM, and she's been with them today. They're all ok, but the house is gone.

Otherwise, I have some sinusy thing going on. Did you get my email?

J

toujours said...

it's cool, babiikay.

hi there, ergo.

Original Punk J said...

Not more anons. Come on, guys, can't you cut us some slack for just, like, five FUCKING minutes?

The nice anons, I'm not yelling at you guys, just the troublemakers.

Why? Why oh why oh why.

J

ergoproxy said...

Maybe he just means he won't be blogging for a while,
somewhere the electricity isn't available (or a different voltage, though you can get adaptors for that)

Anonymous said...

Sis Midnite and others, we can discuss this.

Anonymous said...

Man, theregoe mykeyboard again.CHRIST.f alltimes.

sister midnite said...

At one point, we used to welcome new people. USED to.

Until we were almost overrun by people talking out theirs asses.

Now we take a pretty narrow view to newbies, especially when they come in here thinking they can help. We've got it covered, thanks -- feel free to 'help' from your own forum or message board.

J, I am SO sorry to hear that. Please tell L my thoughts are with her family. (Got your email, and will answer it in the morning when my brain isn't on overload.)

ergoproxy said...

sympathies to L's niece too, that's awful but at least they are ok

Anonymous said...

They don't do INO.
Why do you all bash on her anyway?

From what I see they were trying to help.
She just wanted to help because she had no one to help her ever.
So then today she comes across this and reads it and actually gets some of the stuff you are confused about, wants to help and gets bashed. Like she is new yes, but if you were in her position wouldn't you do the same.
And only 1 person 1! gave her a chance and told her why you were all being b*tchy to her.

Get to know her next time.

[I don't actually know if it's a she or not, but come on look @ the name.]


Hell_Bound

Original Punk J said...

Now not only do we have Mayo-code, but we also have Kapunua-code. Although yours, K, is easier to decipher.

J

Anonymous said...

LOL@helbond sockpupettt.. closingthoughts insqure brackts. Dumbss

Anonymous said...

sock puppet. "OMSzlke Iamtotaly not her!!! Ijustwrite thesme an.....yeh....!!!11

Anonymous said...

Kapunua said...
LOL@helbond sockpupettt.. closingthoughts insqure brackts. Dumbss



Hey didn't you poke fun at Babs because they spelt something wrong?!?!

Look at your posts you dumb idiot.

Anonymous said...

Sad, small, sure in porcelain
You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck
I got a bad feeling about this (when it comes to this)
I got a bad feeling about this

You kept still until the long drive home
You slept safe and close to the window
I got a bad feeling about this
I got a bad feeling about...

Well, i'll wait till you listen
I wont say a word
to follow your instincts
just never worked for me
you're silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)
and you're noticing nothing again

Now I'm lying on the table
with everything you said
keep that in mind the way that it felt
when the most I could do was to just blame myself
So, we're talking forever
and you almost feel better
but, betters no excuse for tonight
you see, it's never bad enough
to just leave or give up
but, its never good enough to feel right


Original Punk J said...

Anonymous, you gotta look at this from our point of view.

We're just a group of people who came together because we have things in common. Fate? Coincidence? Who knows. But we've been together, most of us, for three months, and we're like a family.

We have dealt with so many anons coming in here talking trash, asking questions, giving advice, etc., that we don't react well to surprises. We all tend to be very wary and cautious, sometimes coming off as ugly and mean.

It's a knee-jerk reaction. If you had been through the torment that we have, you'd be this way too. And thing of it is, we don't know WHY we get all this attention and torment. People hate us for no good reason. We don't know anything, or anybody, just ourselves and these guys calling themselves Mayo and SS. Or girls. We don't know, we've never met them.

Anyway, we don't like being poked in the eye with sticks, you know? It gets really and truly fucking old. We spend half our time answering the same dumbass questions and fending off attacks from anons.

That's our deal. You can take it or leave it, I don't give a fuck.

J

ergoproxy said...

you still here TJ?
I had another frappaccino today (mocha), and luckily too as if I hadn't gone in we may have been standing beside the road for a car accident, as it was we were in the shop (everyone in cars ok)

Anonymous said...

I knew y keyboard was on its way out (or maybe the computer!) but the mous will probably still work so I have thought around the corner and written this in advance. My mouse works and I can copy and paste, and that is how I will be communicating with you for a while, unless the keyboard starts to work again randomly.IDIot

Anonymous said...

Well I never made a scene
(Well they came to me)
Well I never made a scene
Well they came to me
I didn't have to I didn't have to
Well I never made a scene
I didn't have to I didn't have to
Well I never made a scene

I always hoped to avoid the issues
Got me alone so I couldn't address you

Anonymous said...

hahaha

I can hear the violins already

toujours said...

mayo,
we grab, and we grab, and we grab -- but thank you for talking to us tonight like you did. we'll probably always want more, we'll probably always have just one more "what do you mean?" for you, but that you're talking to us at all...

thank you.

whatever you're doing, whatever re-evaluations you're pondering, come back from them safe, okay?

sister midnite said...

Anon @ 2:36:

If you can't choose a name for yourself, FUCK OFF.

I am sick & fucking TIRED of people named Anon coming here and trying to join in. We don't owe anybody any fucking explanations -- we have been here for MONTHS, and we all know each other.

For the umpteenth fucking time:

MAYO IS NOT GERARD FUCKING WAY.
If you are looking to help Gerard Way, go to BN or INO or contact his manager.

Get it?

To reiterate -- PICK A NAME or GET THE FUCK OUT. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY TO US, THEN DON"T SAY A DAMN THING.

Yes, I am yelling. I am tired, and I'm fed up with trying to be nice to people who can't even pick a fucking name. Or pop out of the woodwork on day 250. Find another home -- possession is 9/10 of the law, and we were here first.

Anonymous said...

mayo
"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing about

Oh oh, now this is where, where the party is
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)
Are you coming home? (Well, are you coming home?)

toujours said...

so, ergo, are you saying starbucks saved your life?

that's awesome. :D

Original Punk J said...

Hey SM,

I think it's time to get the badgers out.

J

ergoproxy said...

well TJ I suppose it did!
lol

and the fact the car ended up against a low wall of an underground carpark in ramp, or it would have been on the footpath and it would have been a very nasty and possibly fatal for pedestrians

Anonymous said...

The whole truth and nothing but the truth
Stop me if you've heard this one before
The whole truth is nothing but a good excuse
So long as you don't torture me with my past
Let's be honest; a secret silenced is a secret safe

For the umpteenth fucking time:

MAYO IS NOT GERARD FUCKING WAY.

For the umpteenth fucking time:

MAYO IS NOT GERARD FUCKING WAY.

For the umpteenth fucking time:

MAYO IS NOT GERARD FUCKING WAY.

Open arms reject assuming hands

Don't act like you're the first one
I treat it like disease
Sure it's rough around the edges
It's the only thing you see

Reminders, they are not reluctant
So stop me if you've heard this one before
Sideways blinders,
I can't find a way around..

Regrets always work
Excuses are better
A practical exchange
Or a trade for the truth

Anonymous said...

Hi bc,
yes, but will it be accepted?
`sc



At this point, I don't think so.

ergoproxy said...

hi BC

toujours said...

wow, ergo. things like that, they can't help but startle you, shake you up, you know? it's like one moment your life is on a certain path, and suddenly -- right angle turn. even just in that small way of witnessing an accident. it changes the whole course of your day.

um. it's almost midnight for me. i tend to get unforgiveably philosophical.

i like the green tea frappaccinos.

ergoproxy said...

That's ok TJ

yes you never know when something might just miss you by an instant and those little decisions can have such huge consequences
It is a sobering thought

I will have to try a tea one next
(I shall work through the menu)

Anonymous said...

Hi Ergo. How are you?

Anonymous said...

" babiikay_93 said...

Mayo,

I think the only one you are causing much pain to is yourself.

Many resons are here to.

You've helped us.

Now it's OUR turn to help YOU.

Let us.

Please don't be afraid.

We'll be here for you-I'll be here for you."

You seem to have no right saying "we and us" all through this. You sound like you have a lot of nerve coming in here acting like you know every thing. Then you come in pretending to be someone else sticking up for you.

Go back whence you came.

sister midnite said...

The bagders are sleeping, J baby. ^_^

Which is where I should be. 5 hours till wake-up -- MEH. >_<

Good nite, and talk to y'all tomorrow!

Except the Anon's. If they're mean, I'll hand 'em a spoon so they can eat shit.

:D

ergoproxy said...

good thanks BC went shopping in the city, went up into the clock tower for the 3 oclock bell ringing,(it's like a small Big Ben)
then saw an exhibit about an old insane asylum that was here, it was very moving and very sad, it started in the 1860's and had patients accounts and memorabilia,like the shock treatment gear, straight jackets etc it makes you see how much better the care of the mentally ill is now, though that still needs to be improved.
and as I told TJ saw a car accident, and starbucks saved my life

Anonymous said...

oh wow you had a active day then
Ergo. How did starbucks saved your life? :)

toujours said...

they should make that a t-shirt, ergo.

:)

ergoproxy said...

how about you leave babikay alone, I think she got the message you were trying to give.

(which is a shame, everyone was new once.)

Original Punk J said...

Mayo honey, I think you've gone to bed and left us to our own devices. Actually, sleep sounds like a brilliant idea. I think I'll get some myself.

After the initial "Holy fuck, what's he talking about? Is he okay? Let's all run around like chickens and scream!" reaction, the new post doesn't really sound all that scary anymore.

The holidays do tend to be a time of reflection, reevaluation, making life-altering decisions. Why does that happen, I wonder? Must have something to do with family, and friends. Loved ones who are near. And some who are not.

Have to admit, the PS has me a little puzzled. That statement could mean so many things. You know what it means, even if we don't, and that's the important thing. All I can say is, I hope the emotion behind those words isn't sadness, regret, or anger.

You're a beautiful person, my brother. Down where it counts. Please remember that. Even when I say things to the contrary, I have always felt an essential goodness in you.

Whatever you're going to do, please let us know periodically how you are, and if you need anything.

You also need to remember the mantra:

Its all about the love.

J

ergoproxy said...

BC read me at 2:39 and 2:49

a tshirt would be awesome !

Anonymous said...

Yes Ergoproxy we were all new once. But we didn't act like this when we were new. She came in acting like an asshole. Its different.

soulconnector said...

ergoproxy,

Wow, Your day gave me a chill.

Talk about chill,I just watched the movie, Amazing Grace.

Anyone else?
`sc

toujours said...

perhaps, anon. but i think the main thing was that she came in at a very sensitive moment, and that, at least, wasn't her fault.

in any case, it's a done deal, and the subject ought to be dropped.

Original Punk J said...

SS, I can't leave without saying goodnight to you too.

Maybe your day was a little better than the ones previously. Time is usually the best cure for whatever problems afflict us. That, and screaming.

Sometimes throwing things helps too. ;)

Thank you for taking a few minutes the other day to write to us. It was very much appreciated. I'm sure you have plenty of other, more important things to keep you busy, so it was thoughtful of you to come around and leave a message.

I hope that you got all of ours in reply.

My thoughts are with you, along with everyone else's. We're all looking forward to the time when you can join us again and get silly with us. We miss that.

When you sleep, I hope you have peaceful dreams. Take care of yourself; I love you, babydoll.

My heart to yours, always.

J

Anonymous said...

oh wow Starbucks literally saved your life. At least no one got hurt

ergoproxy said...

oh well, to each their own interpretation.

well I have to go and set the table for dinner, bye everyone have a good rest of your nights and tomorrow.

seeya TJ and BC, keep safe :)

and bye to anyone else still here, anon included,

goodnight,
sleep tight,
don't let the bed bugs bite.

ergoproxy said...

oh hi sc !
It was at least a safe outcome for eveyone ( though the guy that hit her will be in trouble, rearended by ute with bullbar, went through orange light and probably a bit fast for the conditions)

it's a shame I don't catch you often sc, hope you're well.
maybe nextg time!

Anonymous said...

Take care and enjoy your dinner Ergo

toujours said...

good night ergo. ^.^

i'm going to head off here, too. good night to everyone still around!

good night, mayo. how you do frighten us. sweet dreams to you.

Anonymous said...

Good night and sweet dreams squeak squeak *hugs*


Is there anyone else on?

soulconnector said...

ok ergoproxy, talk to you later

Mayonaise,

Try to see the movie,"Amazing Grace" It is a story that shows the struggle to do what is right,despite the personal cost.

goodnight everyone
`sc

Anonymous said...

Goodnight SC. Sweet dreams.

toujours said...

re-reading, and maybe it didn't take me until tomorrow after all.
unless i'm wrong. middle of the night, i'm very likely wrong.

but: that little voice, huh, mayo?

am i making a wild leap when i ask if i should offer congratulations?

Anonymous said...

I am aware that there is no one here, (or is there?) but I wanted to reveal this. I have expressed this in on my blog moments ago, but throughout the day, I was feeling very low and feeling nothing at all, and somehow, your post made it a bit worst Mayonaise.

No blame on your part, but after reading it, I wanted to reveal something that I may have held deep within me and something that a part of my mind may have shelved aside.


For about eight years, and it continues to this day, I may have depression. There were, and are, many days where I never wanted to leave my room. I felt lifeless, and I only desired to be left alone with my thoughts.

Me being so stubborn, half of my mind was denying it and I suppose I am finally coming to terms with it. One by one. All of this began at the beginning of my high school years.

Yes, I also had a few suicidal tendencies during that time, but I never did anything to purposely hurt myself.
The only thing I wanted was for everyone to leave me alone.

I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. No human contact, nothing of the sort. I didn't give a shit that I was wasting my life away, that I was wasting away my future.

I didn't care. I care now, but currently, I am not sure how to break this cycle that has become a big part of my life. It's fucking difficult.

After this admittance, you, or possibly some of the anons, may taunt me for revealing this, or they may accuse that no one will give a shit, but who gives a fuck what they think?



I think I'm going to go seek some help. I wish you could do the same. If you admitted that you can trust me, then I am sure that you can trust us when you need to talk.


goodnight.

farawaysoclose said...

mayo, this new one makes me sad. you sound sad. and i couldn't see the photo, dunno why? obviously i'm doing something wrong there??

bear with me whilst i have a wild stab in the dark. don't laugh its not my forte!

ok so at some point sooner or later you are going to have to mention it. what?? we all want to understand so perhaps if you are going to mention it just use plain and simple english and that way there will be no confusion for us, which would be a relief.
you are listening to the little voice?? in your head? or another person? i get the reevaluating priorities, you've got to do that. i think alot of us have let slip priorities since this blog became so time consuming!
so we are free to stay here and chat about whatever we please and assume whatever we please and you will keep an eye on us but have you lost a little interest in all this now??
this is how you imagined it for some one else?? what the idolization to a point?? the genuine concern we show for you whoever you are and we know you aren't him but we still show our concern. surely you are worthy of that, we all should be worthy of that.


ok probably misinterpreted everything you just wrote but hey atleast i tried!!!!
take it easy mayo.

BC
very brave of you to share your problems. no one is going to taunt you for that and if they do then they aren't worthy of any recognition anyway! go and get the help you need. take care.

Kassiopeia said...

Hello anyone & Mayo,

Bored at work so I thought I'd drop by.

Funny how we get a new post when a Anon turns up on the last one and gets a little bit narky with you:

*Mayo puts fingers in ears and starts humming to self*

Honestly, you're just like my ex!

Love,
Kass xx

sdock10 said...

Mayo,

How are you doing this mind-blowing Monday? I say that only because we both have so much shit weighing heavily. Balance? I'm not even hoping for that today. How about you? I think we should go for illusion of balance. If we get our shit together and look really pretty, we might pull it off fantabulously. Yeah, we'll see.

Yeah, So that was your stomach last night, huh? I thought so. It really gets hard to tell. I almost thought for a second that maybe it was neither one of us and it was just the moon. See what I mean about trusting the little voice? Sonofabitch, there I go making things tricky as hell on a Monday.

Now I could be way off base here...like probably not even on the same fucking kickball field as you, but do you really think you have to mention it? What did the little voice say? Did he say you had to? I bet he said you should think about it, huh? Well, he's probably right, but I like the metaphor idea. Does it really matter that much anyways? People will always take what you say and twist it, so at least make it pretty for them or very difficult.

Priorities and reevaluation...Always good to do. As long as you don't manipulate the list. Feel me? No, I have seen your list and you can do better than that. Throw that fucking piece of paper away and start over. Listen to the little voice, he'll tell you the number order.
Now you want me to do it to?
Do I have to? Yeah, I know. Fuck... you have no idea how much I know I need to. Ok, fair enough.

Mayo, if it's one thing I don't do it's assume. ASS-U-ME..no, no, no. Don't look good as an ass. And I never have believed or will believe that you ignore us. We're full of such great advice and we're so cute when we worry. Maybe with some free time, you could listen to 'ol Johnny? Maybe?

I'll try my best to keep the group together and under control...

....Because I'm faithful like that.

Dude, shit is always out of hand..all fucking times..not just end of the year. Control? Illusion.

Love to You Always,
S

p.s. Yeah, me too.

dei gratia said...

Mayo,

I am worried. I was before, but now!

I’m not quite sure what you really mean; maybe I’m trying to read too much into it. I feel unsettled and scared for you.

Sweeping metaphors or outright denial?
The truth, sweetie! Just lay it on the line, tell it how it is. Don’t hide behind anything. Don’t they say that the truth will set you free! Maybe you will feel much better and find some peace from it.
People will understand. It might take some time, but those that really matter will find a way to.

You have a lot of people behind you, Mayo. People who care; I am one of them, I will try to understand.

Keep listening to the voice; priorities need to be assessed now and again. We so easily lose track of them, don’t we?

Follow your heart, make yourself happy; no-one and nothing else will until you truly are.

I will not assume anything, sweetie. I will not be ignoring you, either. I will keep visiting you and you are most welcome to visit me.

I pray you find the switch!

End of the year……you mean Christmas? It is crazy shit. Not always the best time is it; having to face things, situations and those you may seek to avoid. The whole thing sends people fucking crazy for weeks. I saw two grown-ups fighting over a toy yesterday; actually pushing and shoving! Season of goodwill to all men, eh?

Much love to you, Mayo. I mean that. Always a lovely!!!!


P.S. Does that mean it’s good or bad?
If it is good and you never imagined you would find it, then I’m happy for you; hang onto it.
If it’s bad reassess, trust the voice; trust yourself!

dei gratia said...

Hey sdock!

You still here?

sdock10 said...

DG,

Hi, I'm back and forth. trying to get ready for work.

How are you?

sdock10 said...

PJ,

If you are reading this, I left you a comment. Don't know if you got it or not. Please know that I'm thinking about you.

Mya,

If you are reading this, hang in there honey and know that I'm thinking about you as well.


Love ya'll,
S

dei gratia said...

I'm good thanks, S.

Getting ready for work, too!

It's a pisser, isn't it!

Have a good day,sweetie.

Kassiopeia said...

Mayo,

Now I've actually read the post:

I'm lovely. Can I assume you're full of it?

You really are beginning to remind me of someone I knew who constantly pulled the "I'm SO deep, SO artistic, SUCH a tortured soul!" crap, mainly in order to get into my knickers.

Whilst I can admire the effort you're putting in here, I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to achieve. Even if exasperating smart, feisty women to the point of distraction is your particular fetish, cybersex is never going to be as good as the real thing.

That said, what would I do without our little community here to distract me from actually doing what I'm paid for?

Kass xx

sdock10 said...

Because I can, because we need to be reminded, because it's a great song, and because it's motherfucking Monday...

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want?
I want to change
And what have you got, when you feel the same?

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son, yeah.
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a-
Despite all my rage am I still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son for you


And I still beleive that I cannot be saved


Now, don't we all feel so much better. Thank you Smashing Pumpkins...thank you.

Pickled Possum said...

Morning Mayo.

"Off the grid"...

Have you been back in therapy and they've placed you back on meds? Are the meds dulling your senses?

I hope you are really listening to that little voice of reason and conscience, and no longer selectively choosing what you want to hear. Too many people have been posting recently saying you don't hear. Reevaluate those priorities positively.

"End of the year...this shit is always out of hand."

Not always. For many this is a time for friends and family. Here in the southern hemisphere the festive season falls in summer and the mood is light, warm and fun. We party at the beach and BBQ up a storm. Try flying south for the winter.

Ignore the commercialisation. Hang decorations that have meaning within your family, and that have passed down through generations. All my decorations have memories behind them. Help out at a homeless shelter on christmas day if you want to give something back to ease your conscience.

Or how about just saying you have been an arse to those you've hurt. Sure it will be uncomfortable at first, for you, and they may present you with a cold shoulder, but you've obviously got some making up to do.

I confess that before becoming PP I was that anon that always had discussions on empathy. You should never use empathy to manipulate others. Emotional blackmail is unethical, manipulative and causes resentment to pustule even though you may have achieved what you wanted. You just dig your hole deeper.

"this is how I have always imagined it for someone else."

Well, you got yourself to this state of affairs. You have to get yourself out. Stop being so damn flakey, 'fess up and do the hard work.

Time to start being that decent person you thought you could be.

Kassiopeia said...

Thanks Sdock10,

I love the song, but for some reason Billy Corgan makes me wanna slap him, Homerpalooza notwithstanding...

Homer: "You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide."

Kass xx

Pickled Possum said...

*spots SD10*

Hi SD10.

*pp fully prepared for arse kicking as has been doing butt lifts all day and is super prepared*

Pickled Possum said...

Another guilty anon secret of mine, I said if you re-read these from Mikeys perspective the blogs fitted him too, copycat nuptials and all.

What a long time ago that was.

(Definitely not going to admit more. The others may have been a little oh-er!)

Smoke said...

Well said PP.

Hello Mayo-man,

Go ahead and reevalute. We all need to do that from time to time. I understand that you won't be talking to us right now and that's cool. I get it. I try not to ASSume anything. It gets me in trouble most of the time.

End of the year? Yeah, I get that, too. Another year gone and you start to think about what you have done and what you didn't do and if you'll even be around for another one. Will I get the chance to try and rectify what I did wrong? Not everyone gets second chances. Try to remember that if there is something you need to fix, okay?

And just as Soul Connector told you earlier, I think there may be someone out there who will understand.

XOXO,
Princess

JocelynHolly said...

Awwh Mayo!
You finally posted a picture!
Just lovely! Not what was expected! But.. it looks like a bee hive, or some sort of mesh?

I read some comments, and I read that you told everyone not to read too much into this. But you know, it's an old habit to do that.

I have come to terms with the fact that eventually I am going to have to mention it. Will it be with sweeping metaphors or outright denial? Perhaps no one will understand.

Mention what, dear Mayonaise? Why you are here? Who you are? Whatever you want to mention, we will all understand. We were brought here for you, we're still here for you, but we are also still here for the friends we made. In all honesty, I've been very concerned about you lately. Maybe I shouldn't be, but you tell me whether I should be or not.

For now I am listening to the little voice, and reevaluating priorities.

Good for you Mayo! Listen to the little voice... WAIT! The good one or the bad one? Listen to the good one, will ya sugar plum? =]

My lovelies, you are free to assume whatever you choose, but I will not be ignoring you. The electricity just doesn't buzz the same and I can't always find the switch.

The switch? It's over on that wall! It's okay, sometimes it's too dark to see it, but it's there.

I may not be old enough to know what you are going through. I may not be 'wise' enough to help, but I try, and that is what matters. Whatever you have to deal with in your life Mayonaise, I wish you all the best.

All my love;
- 007

elena said...

Mayo
I'm glad I wasn't up last night when you posted this message. I would nave cried. Then I would have felt stupid for crying. I would have been angry at myself for caring too much. Sad truth is I know I can't change. That is just who I am. Perhaps I care too much about you and these people? Yeah I know that I do but I can't stop myself. Many of us have bared our souls. Some more than others. I have spoken of things here that I have never voiced in my "real" life. You have so many of us worried. Was that your intent? I honestly don't think so. I think you are trying to voice things that maybe you've never said in your "real" life. God, I haven't had any coffee and I'm sure I'm not making sense. See that is my curse. The words are in my heart yet I can't give voice to them. I'll stop rambling now.
Just please know this. You said "Perhaps no one will understand."
You are so wrong and you know it. Give us more credit than that.

Pickled Possum said...

Hi Kass.

Hi Princess.
Thanks.*blushes a bit*
Nicely said you too.

Hi early risers and late night lurkers.

Hi PH *hug for sweetie pie*

@Leathermouth anon on previous blog, about Leathermouth concert.

Holding hands with Jamia, supporting each other in a sincere way (not in a look at me way) and their long relationship is why that man rules at life and love. It just makes your heart hum when you see people content like that. The 'Jamia' tattoo on his hand must have hurt like crazy, but what more open declaration of love rather than just on his arm. Thoughtful words with meaning colour the man's character.

Quite handy with a guitar too.

Later, SD10.
*leaves walmart advertisement looping on SD10's computer screen*

Night all.
Later, Mayo.

JocelynHolly said...

Hey Elena and PP!
*HUG*

I can't stay, just thought I'd check the blogs out before heading to school!

Just please know this. You said "Perhaps no one will understand."
You are so wrong and you know it. Give us more credit than that.


Elena, I completely agree. There are people who will understand. Everyone here comes from a different path of life.

With that, I am off for the day.
I'll talk to you all later!

xoxo
- 007

Anonymous said...

anonymous from the end of the last blog said

Try being passive aggressive with ME, and see where it gets you, 'Mayo'.


Original Punks said...
Mayo:

Is this what's bothering you?


Anonymous said...
He's doing what he does best. Being selfish. He knows it, I know it, everyone knows it but nobody will say anything. They never do. There is no point. I've seen you pull some shit in the past, but this is low. I will fight you on this. Even if you win it will be a hollow victory because the resentment will be there, under the surface. What kind of man uses emotional blackmail to get his own way? I will leave you to think about that. I suggest you take a moment to reflect on your priorities and ask yourself what is really more important.

November 26, 2007 1:09 AM


Who is this person?

J


Hmm..we have seen this anon once before and it is someone you know isn't it. whoever it is it is obvious you are pulling in different directions over something. care to share with us why they are they are so mad at you mayo. they are challenging you. are you worried this person will win and you will lose. what r u trying to get your own way about. passive aggressive and emotional blackmail about what. they say they will fight you on this but what does that mean. and why do they ask you to look at your priorities and decide what is more important. i think u know, that is why you posted a new blog when they showed up and why your picture is titled diversional.

Kassiopeia said...

Hi OP,

Didn't the last Anon post you just quoted appear AFTER Mayo's new one?

Trouble is, Narky Anon is bitching about Mayo's anonymity, whilst basking in her(?) own.

I give up!

Kass xx

Anonymous said...

something is going down in blogtown and as always we just have to sit tight.

anima said...

Dear Mayo,

I didn't sleep well at all last night and the silly thing is that I dreamt of you, this blog, and the blogbelieve family. It really messed with me because there was something serious going on. And this morning I log in and this is what I find. Fucked up, eh?

I have to run to a meeting, but I will come back to offer my advice.

Hang in there sweetheart.

Anonymous said...

Um... I'm lost. Are you talking about yourself or someone else Mayo?

Kassiopeia said...

Hiya Anima,

I've never dreamt of Mayo, but I have dreamt of slapping him.

These days I tend to reserve my concern for the other people who are willing to contribute their seriously personal stuff to this blog - rather than our master of puppets musing behind his 'finger pyramid of evil contemplation'*.

Kass xx

*Courtesy of American Dad©

Anonymous said...

I have commented here many times before. I have given you glimpses into the lives of those you care about, offered private information and even defended you (quite successfully, I might add) against hostile anons. I've been thanked for my insight and help. However, I will not be posting here again.

I came here last night to give you a heads up regarding a death that affects someone you care about. The information is not new, but has yet to be released to the public. Also, I wanted to add some thoughts on Mayo's recent post. However, the behavior I witnessed from you "regulars" sickened and appalled me. I am now convinced that you are not deserving of any information I might have to give you.

There is so much irony in this situation it would be almost funny if it were not so sad. First of all, this blog does not belong to you. You have no right to tell anyone they may or may not post here. Also, you were all so offended when you perceived that Mayo was being an "exclusive asshole" to you, when he has every right to be. This is his house, after all. You can throw out anyone you want on the Discuss Mayo blog, but you have no exclusive rights here.

Mayo may or may not care. He is too caught up in his desire for attention. I wouldn't venture to say the same thing for another that you have come to care about. He has never condoned elitism and snobbery and I imagine he would be hurt to learn of your actions.

As for me, I'm done here. One more intrusive anon that you won't have to put up with.

Anonymous said...

Mayo:

Will it be worth sweeping metaphors or denial? I choose metaphors. Denial only sets you further back. No use in denying what's already there.

Perhaps no one will understand.
I thought that as well, Mayo. That was until I found this place. I sometimes still think that, but I've trained my brain to only think that when good things happen to me, not bad. You can train your brain, too.

People will be understanding. You've got a group here that will understand. You just have to allow us to. We will understand you dammit.

Keep listening to that voice, okay? He's, 9 times out of 10, always right. You just keep doing that, then stay away from the denial and you should be okay.

Reevalution: Top of my list this year. I'm pretty fucked up in my head Mayo. Things got bounced around and I'm trying to fix them. I don't know how it got that way in the first place, so I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Not ignorning is good. I'm glad for that. Had this been 3 weeks ago, I'd tell you to shove it, but I apologized for that, and I'm moving on. See, it can be done you know. Are apologies in order?

The end of the year sucks for me. Well, mainly Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, then Valentines' Day. Right in a row. I don't know your reasoning behind out of hand shit, but I know mine. Maybe we could work on that together?

P.S. Whatever it "this is," I hope it's a good thing, and you do fuckin' deserve it. However, if "this is" isn't a good thing, tell The Man to shove it and find another "this is" and be proud that you've discovered something so special that it could ONLY be for you.

You are worth it, dude. We care about you Mayo. You can see that, right?

Nice picture by the way. Glad I looked at it with fresh eyes, or I'da been SOL ;)

Anonymous said...

Anon, although I wasn't here, I apologize for them. They may not be sorry for their actions, but I'm sorry that that happened.

We've never shunned anyone from here until last night.

Would you even reconsider?

Smoke said...

Anon, I have to say I understand. No one here has a right to question anyone else. In my own blog, sure, but not here.

For what it's worth, I am also sorry.

S&V20

Kassiopeia said...

Anon,

I completely understand where you're coming from - I was a little shocked myself by some of the stuff that went on last night, especially after the Miraclewhipme debacle.

I'm sorry you've been disappointed with us but you've got to go with what you believe to be right and if you're leaving for good I wish you well.

As for the death send our condolences if you can, but maybe that's a little too heavy for us guys to be discussing in what is essentially a public place.

Love,

Kass xx

Anonymous said...

Anon, some people here feel that they lack a specialness in real life and find comfort in being part of an exclusive group online. But if many people start to join, it wouldn't be so exclusive and they wouldn't feel so special. Therefore, they react in a hostile manner.

Kassiopeia said...

Anon,

I suppose you could say that. But then you could also argue that this place is 'special' because it's so far been free of a lot of the bitching and name calling that's endemic at Buzznet especially. It's difficult sometimes in the middle of a conversation to distinguish between Anons who are friendly or just here to sh*t-stir.

Consider your point taken, though!

Kass xx

Anonymous said...

" Bleeding Chaos said...
blah blah blah pay attention to me


I think I'm going to go seek some help. I wish you could do the same. If you admitted that you can trust me, then I am sure that you can trust us when you need to talk."

LOOK GUYS! Mayo talks to me! He said he trust me!! Don't forget!!

Anonymous said...

And I'd just like to add:

Anonymous:

Please send my concerns, condolences, and well-wishes to the family members and friends of the deceased. My thoughts are with each and every one of them, and if this is a way for me to show that, then so be it.



I suppose if you're leaving us, thanks are in order. So, with this I thank you.

anima said...

Anon,

What do you mean? I came here last night to give you a heads up regarding a death that affects someone you care about. The information is not new, but has yet to be released to the public.

Anonymous said...

to the anon at 10:07,

I've been reading this blog since the very beginning and I've never seen such behavior from its commentors.

Sickened and appalled? Too right.

Those people should be ashamed of themselves for their behavior.

anima said...

MIB, I share all of your thoughts as well.

Mayo, I am struggling for find the words. Well not really the words, but trying to find the truth in my words. Wanting so badly to give you something that will help you with everything.

Anonymous said...

"The truth will set you free!"

Anonymous said...

"this place is 'special' because it's so far been free of a lot of the bitching and name calling that's endemic at Buzznet especially..."

Perhaps you forgot the hatred that was spewed toward certain members after the Miracle Whip debacle.

Anonymous said...

There was no "hate" spewed by me, so that can't be said for everyone.


There was regret that came from my mouth, and I apologized for my actions.

I think this may not be the time to relive old mistakes.

anima said...

Anon, the truth will set us free.

Anon, it was a really ugly time during the MW thing. I almost do not want to remember it.

Kassiopeia said...

Anon 1,

Yeah, but do you condemn the majority by the actions of the minority? You can't tar us all with the same brush.

Anon 2,

The truth may set you free, but it's the bullsh*t that fertilises your garden...

Kass xx

anima said...

I do not recall any 'hate' by me either, just mostly anger towards Mayo. I apologized as well if I hurt anyone while in total confusion mode.

Anonymous said...

I for one am tired of all the double-standards here. Most here talk about how loving and accepting it is at Mayo's, but we all know that isn't true. Especially after last nights attack on a newcomer. Another thing that has been bothering me is how some of you like to pretend that you don't think that Mayo is Gerard and that SS is Frank when in fact you do think that is who they are. To say otherwise is a lie and you know it. I have seen you at the other blog discussing how to throw them off track. Your duplicity is there for everyone to see.

Kassiopeia said...

Anon,

I get it - we're the dark forces of Queen Bitch.

I can see both sides of the more unsavoury incidents that have happened on Mayo and I'm not nailing my colours to either mast but the trouble is you're logged on at the wrong time. No-one who's on here now had anything to do with last night.

If you care to trawl through the past posts from the people around you, you'll see we're all actually really lovely!

*Tries to recall any past bitching that will come back to haunt me*

Love,

Kass xx

anima said...

Anon, those are all really good points.

Please understand that there is a level of trust that took all these months to build. When newcomers join in, it raises a million questions. Trust and Anonymity are two things that are are so important but rarely found when on the Internet. There isn't anything I can say that will make you feel better. It is what it is.

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