Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Listing

You startled me
In not so much your words,
But your approach.
It was fast
And filled my head
With nonsense words
And warmth
When you weren’t there.
So, I went under
And swallowed
The surge. And above
My head is swirling water.
My hand slapping at the surface,
Desperate for structure
Steep stone. Then
My fingers finding rooted edge
Holding ground,
Finally. Almost out of breath
When I pulled myself up.
Entwined in mine, fingers
Not rooted mass, but flesh.
That took the shape
Of mysteries ability
To suddenly deliver me
Upon the edge was all
That I was meant to be.

4,847 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Greeting & Salutations!

Hey EP! How are you? How's everyone doing today/tonight?

A Rose for Emily...

elena said...

Ergo is there a deductable on "leaky whang" coverage?

My I would hope you'd cover a leaky whang.

ergoproxy said...

Emily!!!!!

hello!!!!

I'm good how are you?

ergoproxy said...

just tried cocoa puff s and apple jacks and have to say your sweet is different to our sweet too

hubby agrees, can't explain it but it is somehow

Anonymous said...

anon, lol.

Hey there emily, good to see you

ergoproxy said...

apple jacks are nicest so far

elena said...

Hi Emily long time no see. How are you?

toujours said...

hello emily. :)

i understand it ergo -- there were things that tasted a bit different from their american counterparts when i was in england, too.

Anonymous said...

I'm good. Just finished doing my daily exercises. I say daily, but its really like once a week. LOL!

Anywho, what is going on with the leak EP! Your not having another down pour are you?


A Rose for Emily...

Anonymous said...

Hey Elena,

Yeah, I know its been a while, but I've just gotten so addicted to twitter. Its like a disease, but I do miss talking to all of you. And its great being able to write more than a few sentences at a time.

A Rose for Emily...

Anonymous said...

bc, what's gotten into you? (don't take that literally)


Hahaha. The parts down there make me snicker and giggly like a schoolgirl, what can I say? I may seem like the 'nice' girl type on the outside, but I can be a bit naughty on the inside. The nice girl type is just a front for me.

Anonymous said...

Hello toujours. How's it going?

A Rose for Emily...

ergoproxy said...

no it's actually sunny here and getting cooler now we are heading into autumn
you'll have to read back for the 'leak" 'twas allll BC's fault!

toujours said...

going pretty good, though that might just be the whiskey and coke. ;)

it's been nice to see you here again. hope things are well?

ergoproxy said...

TJ the sweet is kind of warmer (?) or thicker (?) somehow, I think it's corn syrup, we don't have it used over here at all but it is in a lot of your stuff
our sweet is more clean (?) like just white sugar

Anonymous said...

Was it BC? You rascal. I kid, I kid.

Hi BC, and how are you doing?

Wow, I can't believe seasons are changing so rapidly EP. Your entering autumn and we've just started spring.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

i think you're right ergo -- the corn syrup is used in everything here in the states -- i even found it listed in the ingredient list on a pack of saltines! (that's just surreal). it's cheaper and easier to produce, i guess.

all i know is that some of my favorite chocolate candy bars are from the uk! mmmmmm, curlywurlys...

Anonymous said...

Things are warming up. We're in spring in my neck of the woods. Weather is a lot nicer compared to the horrible snow storms we've had lately. I can't wait for summer though. My skin could use a nice tan.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

it's spring here, too, emily. and as much as i love winter, i have to admit that there's a definite rush when spring hits. "spring fever" indeed. :)

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks of Willy Wonka when they hear the words chocolate candy bars.


A Rose for Emily...

ergoproxy said...

I hope you ahve a nice spring then Emily, does summer get really hot by you?

Anonymous said...

cheeky cheeky bc :)

naughty is nice, as long as you don't hurt someone in the process.

ergoproxy said...

nope emily

TJ we have Curly Wurlys here too, love em

though I don't eat a lot of chocolate

Anonymous said...

Oh really whoops! Are you east or west coast toujours?

Oh, and I know what you mean about spring fever. The merchandise for easter is crazy. I wanted to buy a few easter baskets for my nieces and the prices are jacked up its insane. You would think that in this recession they would lower those prices, but no.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

only if it's the johnny depp willy wonka, emily. ;)

you know, the funny thing is ergo that i don't get into chocolate that much anymore...candy that is. you can always bribe me with baked goods. *heh*

toujours said...

i used to be west coast, emily, but i moved recently and now i'm somwhere in the middle. lol

i don't do much for easter, it's not one of my holidays, but i know what you mean about all the marketing. there are so many things in the stores. it was just jelly beans and looking for eggs when i was a kid.

Anonymous said...

I'll admit that the summer can be a bit sticky and nasty during the daytime. But the nights are usually nice and cool. And summer will always have a special place in my heart cause I celebrate my birthday in the summer. I know its silly to think that way, but I guess I'm still a kid at heart.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

not silly at all! i'm a may baby myself, and i always think it's the best month. *heh* not egotistical, not at all...

:)

ergoproxy said...

oh birthdays are always special

I have mine in the winter, which seeing as how hot our summers can be is nicer

Anonymous said...

I liked the new version of the Willy Wonka movie with Johnny Depp, but when I think of Willy Wonka and chocolate bars I think of the original movie with Gene Wilder (if I'm not mistake, I thinks thats his name), but I guess I'm just an old foggy.

A Rose for Emily...

Anonymous said...

Yup, I'm a summer baby. Which is strange cause EP has the same birthday as me and she's a winter baby.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

the gene wilder version always creeped me out. eek.

we have a spring, a summer, and a winter, we just need an autumn birthday to make the collection complete. *hee*

ergoproxy said...

I loved Gene Wilder, I'm glad the movies were so different so you didn't have to compare them both, Johnny was great but much darker, though Gene had his moments too. I have both on DVD

ergoproxy said...

we are seasonal opposites Emily!
:]

toujours said...

really, ergo? both, huh? i'm usually pretty cautious about buying movies, i want to know i'll be watching them over and over, so the willy wonka movies wouldn't be likely to be in my library. lol

i have things like "the last samurai", "galaxy quest", various anime, etc.

nerd girl, i guess.

:)

Anonymous said...

The original was creepy but there's still something about it that I like. Maybe I'm a little creepy, I don't know. Ha, ha...

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

oh! and "a walk in the clouds" which is like my guilty pleasure, because i guess it didn't do well? but it's so lovely, such a throwback in style.

Anonymous said...

I have galaxy quest, but on VHS. I'm old school. LOL!

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

what's great about the dvd is that you have the option of watching the entire movie in the alien language. lol

that's so crazy, i love it. :)

Anonymous said...

I think all the 80's movies are a guilty pleasure for me. Sad but true...

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

what's the last 80's movie that you saw?

Anonymous said...

Get out of town, really the DVD has that feature. Man, I got that movie from blockbuster when it first came out and I figured I already own, so why get it on DVD, but now I'm curious to see it in alien speech.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

it really does! i can only watch it for a little while though...it hurts after awhile. lol

ergoproxy said...

oh I loved Galaxy Quest!!

TJ we have watched both Willy Wonkas over and over, my daughter loves them

most of our movies are watched a lot, I got a great boxed set with Metropolis and Plan 9 and stuff in it great movies

I never get to the movies so paying what tickets would have cost or less suits me

(plus Emily I may have had a little crush on gene Wilder lol)

we are off to have a dip in the creek, well I'm not going in this time, but will sit with my feet in and have a beer

take care all
bye BC elena TJ Emily

hope to have a chat here again soon, though can always get you on twitter!! :]

bye!!

Anonymous said...

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! With Sarah Jessica Parker and her big 80's hair. But to be honest, I really love that movie cause of the hot guy who plays her love interest. I forget his name, but I just remember seeing him as a kid and thinking he was so gorgeous and when I see the movie now, I still think he's pretty hot. Lame, I know but what can I say.

A Rose for Emily...

Anonymous said...

cheeky cheeky bc :)

naughty is nice, as long as you don't hurt someone in the process.


I agree ^_~

Hiya emily. I'm doing okay, a bit bored, but okay, thanks.

Girls just want to have fun, oh wow. I really like that movie, son much I hae it on dvd. I like watching cheesy 80's flicks :)

See ya ergo!

Anonymous said...

Oh EP! You had a crush on Gene Wilder, really?

You leaving already. :(

Oh well, I guess I'll try to catch around tomorrow.

A Rose for Emily

Anonymous said...

Hey BC. Yeah, that movie is a guilty pleasure for me. That and Say Anything. It just always gets me in the end. I'm a sap for romantic comedies.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

bye, ergo! have fun! i promise not to make fun of you for your crush on gene wilder! lol

emily, i always liked the movie "valley girl"...maybe cuz i was one, at one point. like, fer shurr. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh My God! Me too! Like, Gag me with a spoon!!!

Hee, hee, I love that movie too! And don't judge me but I still think Nicolas Cage looked pretty good in that movie. I can't say that about him now, but in that movie and in Moonstruck he sure had it going on.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

i loved "moonstruck"! i think lately he's become too nicholascage but i did like him alot in his early movies.

did you have the leg warmers and the miniskirt? i drank tab like there was no tomorrow, like, totally.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I rocked the leg warmers, the head bands, neon clothing and the big hairspray mullet hair don't.

Ah, the 80's and now it ironic cause its apparently making a comeback. Now everything is 80's chic according to the fashion magazines and trendy shops like forever 21.

A Rose for Emily...

toujours said...

oh i know, i saw some chickie wearing neon and a headband at bamboozle left last year and just goggled. i didn't think those things would ever make a comeback. lol

emily, it's been great talking with you (always fun to meet another ex-valley girl!), but i think i need to be getting a wee bit of sleep.

take care and sweet dreams!

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm going to turn in too. Goodnight Toujours. Hope to chat with you soon. Goodnight Elena and BC and to whomever is still logged on. Until next time.

A Rose for Emily...

Anonymous said...

Goodnight tj, emily sweet dreams

elena said...

Well crap I got called away and now everyone is gone.

Night Emily, TJ and BC

toujours said...

mayo,

it's funny that nostalgia hit here on the blog tonight because i have been having repeated little flashbacks recently -- maybe it's something in the air?

but a movie showing a scene that takes place in early morning reminds me of what it was like to be the first one up at a s.c.a. encampment, and a single song is an entire time travel machine ("astro zombies" transports me to bamboozle left and that school room i slept in last year, in an instant).

i don't think it's the season -- autumn is usually when i feel the nostalgia bug -- but maybe it's because i'm inbetween. i want more adventures in my future, but at the moment it's just day-to-day. i don't want last year's trip to be just a single experience, though, that stupid "something special to remember" business. i want it to be something i do often.

but not right now, huh.

though i'm trying to set something up for my birthday this year. it's on memorial weekend, so that's promising, isn't it?

i guess right now is just doing the grunt work for whatever is next, and remembering the past. (that sounds so pathetic though, doesn't it? yeesh.)

things aren't bad right now, though, mayo. there's this one co-worker who is fast becoming a good friend, maybe one who will be a friend for a long while. she's just so much fun -- she always makes me laugh, sometimes just with a look. and she's so flirty -- i never know if she's just joking around or if her outrageous compliments are sincere. she's got me all confused and i kinda like it. *heh*

but i still wish i was standing in front of a stage again. nothing's so real as having that music vibrating in my bones.

i always want to be going forward, i don't want you to think i've failed or fallen in my goals, so this nostalgia thing feels like a weakness, to be indulging in the past. it's so strong though. hits me without warning -- the soap at work, for instance, somehow reminds me of being on the road last year, though i can't see how. and listening to modest mouse reminds me of that first winter on the blog, sitting on the couch every night talking to your portrait.

forward, must go forward.

but that doesn't mean letting go of the past, does it?



too much to think about, especially on this weekend of supreme laziness. i slept for ten hours last night, waking up with a massive headache from the overindulgence. watched movies all day, my only real accomplishment repainting my nails (changing from electric blue to a deep almost-black purple, if you care to know). tomorrow will be more of the same, if i'm lucky.

and it's probably all nothing to worry about, anyway. everything works out, i believe that.




so, to bed. mayo, i used to really worry about you, your posts here gave me such qualms, but not anymore -- maybe it's just that i have more faith in your inner strength after so many months of reading your words? you're just so much a part of my life now, for good or for ill, and you've stuck it out with us this long that things don't have such a dire cast anymore. but i always wish you well you know, even if i'm not actively mother-henning you in my thoughts. *grin*

good night, my most imaginary friend. have a good day tomorrow, yes? knowing you're smiling makes me feel better.

toujours said...

elena, please write me an email when you have time, ok? i miss you.

elena said...

Mayo

Well I know my chatting earlier today while I was at work was pretty damn boring. Sorry about that but I really couldn’t think of anything interesting to say. Anyway after work I had to pick up Mom and take her to the store. Now I have to admit I was sorta dreading this. See Mom hadn’t seen my new addition to my original tattoo. The way it was you couldn’t really see it all that much cause I usually wear longer sleeves but the new part goes down part of my thumb so no hiding it. Not that I want to hide it mind you. I love it but I just kinda knew Mom was not gonna share the love. So like I thought she spotted it as soon as we were in the car driving. I didn’t expect the outbreak of Hail Mary’s that erupted. But I tried to take it in stride. However when she suddenly said, “Just how is that gonna look when your in the coffin with a rosary wrapped around your hands?” Holy shit, I almost went off the road. That was harsh. Seriously I got a vision of me in a coffin. I nicely reminded her that there would be no open coffin for me so it didn’t matter. Because really if I have an open coffin I’m gonna find a way to come back and haunt. She just sighed and stared out the windshield. Yep the silent treatment. So I sat there wondering why someone my age could still let their mother affect them so much. I mean come on..I like it, it’s my body and is it hurting anyone? Oh well what can I say? Anyway so then I started thinking about Stormy and her desire to get a tattoo. Now to be honest (since she’s not around) I really wouldn’t mind her getting the one she wanted. It’s very small and she wanted it in a place where it wouldn’t show. However her father put his foot down and forbid it. By the way she’s still kinda ticked at you cause she was really thinking you’d back her up. LOL Sorry to make you take the heat on that one but I couldn’t resist. I guess my whole point is that I realized I don’t want to be like my mom on this subject. I’m all for people being individuals and having the freedom to express their individuality. But at the same time I don’t want to override her dad’s authority. He really doesn’t get involved all that much about things like this. Crap I don’t know.

So how was your day? Bet no one made you visualize yourself in a coffin. I hope it was good. I hope you’re in a good place about things. I do miss you. Well take care.

Night Mayo

Elena (seriously that was harsh)

elena said...

just saw your comment TJ - Will do.

ergoproxy said...

back from the creek, 'twas lovely though I didn't swim next week I'll be in for sure
and apparently good fish to be caught (we release them again)

goodnigth emily, TJ BC elena sweet dreams

and come on Gene Wilder was cute!! Nice hair and a really cheeky smile, he had a something that I likes, and people tell me my hubby looks a bit like Nicholas Cage, but I think he's better, lucky me!! lol

catch you all tomorrow

Anonymous said...

night ergo. I'm off for the night as well, goodnight to anyone here.

Anon616 said...

*comes in singing*

You, you got a nasty reputation
We're in a sticky situation
It's down to me and you...


Goodnight/morning/afternoon Mayo, SS, Ergo, Sweetcheeks, Elena, TJ, J, Emily, various anons, various watchers and various lurkers!!!!

How are you all? I see Spring has definitely SPRUNG around here! That's make me very happy!

Ya'll know what else makes me happy? Ya'll know what springs means down here in southeast Louzianna?

It means:

JAZZ FEST is coming!!!!!! That's correct! It's always the last weekend of April and the first weekend+ of May.

April 24th, 25th and 26th and April 30th, May 1st, 2nd and 3rd!!

BON JOVI's playing!!!! The Dave Mathews Band!!!!! Joe Cocker, Tony Bennet, Bonnie Rait!!!! Kings Of Leon!!!!! And many, many more!

See:

click here for day by day schedule and other bands/musicians besides: Neil Young and his band join Wynton Marsalis, Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band, James Taylor, Sugarland, Joe Cocker, Ben Harper & Relentless7, Tony Bennett, Earth, Wind & Fire, Kings of Leon, Neville Brothers, Wilco, Bonnie Raitt, Allen Toussaint, The O’Jays, Erykah Badu, Maze featuring Frankie Beverly, Dr. John plus hundreds of others previously announced to appear at the historic edition of the Festival

JAZZ Fest is 40 years old this year, so, it shall be an extra, EXTRA special celebration!

YAY!!!!

That is all for now. Have a great night/day, everyone!

Hugs and Love,
~Namaste~
6/Wendy

PS: Magic Pie ~ *huge hug* It's good to "see" again!!! How've you been?

Hi PJ!

Anon616 said...

*runs back in*

Ooops, forgot the "tag line"!

New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival: Celebrating 40 years of peace, love and crawfish!

*big cheeseeey smile*

*blows kisses to blogbelieve*

Magic Pie said...

hello Ergo, lol I well I hope you haven't been seeing it in black because it you have, it's definitely not me. This is the first time I've checked this place out since the last time I wrote anything down here! I just happened to take to SDock yesterday and remembered this place was still around ;)

Magic Pie said...

oops, I mean Elena!

Magic Pie said...

Hey Anon616, I'm glad I catched your comment here. I was just checking quickly to see if anyone happened to catch my message.

I'm doing well, but I'm extremely busy with work and school these days. I hardly have time to do much of anything else!

I hope you are doing well! I probably won't be back gere again for another few months when I get reminded of this place again, or you never know, I may pop by when I'm procrastinating and not wanting to do any school work!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I must say I think this blog has been so much nicer in recent days. No Porchies, no poems quotes or annoying attention getting behaviour. And I'm happy to see OPJ back. OPJ I do believe that SS was here leaving messages to you the other day.


What messages? Where? I didn't see any and he hasn't updated his profile page so I don't think he's even been around.

ergoproxy said...

hi MP!
good to see you again

I am full of chicken korma and naan

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*places dish in fridge for elena*

Anonymous said...

What messages? Where? I didn't see any and he hasn't updated his profile page so I don't think he's even been around.

He has been here, he left a message of sympathy for PH a few days ago.

Anonymous said...

Hands out special 3D SS message decoder glasses to other anons in an attempt to prevent secret message dispute.

Anonymous said...

The secret language of SS is so difficult to interpret that only highly skilled professionals can recognize it. Glasses ain't gonna help.

Anonymous said...

Damn.

You mean i have to go back to college and study those dead sea scrolls again. I knew his secret language was hidden in those things.




tosses special 3D SS message decoder glasses in the trash

ergoproxy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ergoproxy said...

foa anons

might be more effective

goodnight Mayo, SS
take care of yourselves and those you love
much love EP xx

goodnight blogbelieve see you in my morning
♥xx♥

ergoproxy said...

foa = for

Anonymous said...

Sees the real secret to seeing the secret language of SS that the highly skilled professionals use.




addresses envelope to Honor house products corp


places $1.25 in envelope


much cheaper than going back to college and i get a money back guarantee


Thanks EP! I'll be seeing and interpreting that secret language of SS in no time.

farawaysoclose said...

morning mayo!

how are you? good i hope!

SS you too?! if you have been around i have missed you, but i hope you are fine and dandy and all that!

hi everyone!

nice to see you around magic pie!

it's Mother's Day in the UK, so that's nice. i've already spent the best part of an hour tidying up my toy infested house! horrendous! my sitting room isn't a sitting room, it's a childrens play zone! i would say roll on to the time where all the plastic tat has gone, but then they would be older and i'm not ready for it to go yet!

right just an in and out from me!

have lovely Sundays everyone!

i'm pretty sure everyone else, except the UK and Europe, mother's day falls in May?? i think i'm correct!

Ok take care all!



p.s my 3 year old boy just came in from playing outside saying "I'm going to work!" i looked up and he is carrying a lovely pink handbag containing his bottle of water, a pink Barbie brush, a pink Barbie plate, and his sister's pretend pink phone! shit he is so gonna be in touch with his feminine side when he's older! bless him!

Anonymous said...

nothing secret about it, those of us who know his voice always recognize it.

Anonymous said...

nothing secret about it, those of us who know his voice always recognize it.

An OP would say that.

Anonymous said...

SS is just so special.

Anonymous said...

Not as special as you snookums.

Anonymous said...

A very nice F*** U to you too.

elena said...

Happy Mother's Day FASC

I see you've been spending it in true mom fashion - cleaning house. LOL

Take care it was great to see you. I've missed ya.

Anonymous said...

nope, still sad in here and the intelligence quotient seems to have fallen several points. Ah, well.

elena said...

ah well, sorry you feel that way anon.

No actually I'm not sorry at all. You are rude.

Anonymous said...

Ah well, anon, I'm sorry that you can't see that only conversations of quantum physics or other such lofty subjects do not directly relate to intelligence. It is also measured by ability to learn, social interaction skills, wit, and adaptation to situations. I believe somewhere in the list there is also the ability to understand word play, and possibly the ability to be use such word play to have a few silly moments away from the real world.

On another note, magic pie, it's good to see you here.

elena said...

Thank you 12:25

Nicely said.

Anonymous said...

yeah, whang talk is the epitome.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I must say I think this blog has been so much nicer in recent days. No Porchies, no poems quotes or annoying attention getting behaviour. And I'm happy to see OPJ back. OPJ I do believe that SS was here leaving messages to you the other day.

March 21, 2009 9:55 PM


Elena

Just a question. You didn't call that anon rude. Why not?

Anonymous said...

Ah, well

People generally come here to chat with friends and the conversation can be about happy, serious, tragic and, yes, sometimes silly things which comes as a little light relief after some difficult times.

Anyone can come here and raise a topic they wish to discuss/seek advice on. Rather than waiting for others to talk about subjects that interests you why not raise a topic yourself? I'm certain people will do what they can to contribute...

Anonymous said...

1:58, I cannot speak for her but my guess is that because she was far too busy having a good chat with her friends last night. Today? It is quiet.

Anonymous said...

How is everyones day today?

Amyranth said...

Halllooooooo....

Is anyone home?

*runs a finger along the dusty hallway table*

Anonymous said...

Anyone can come here and raise a topic they wish to discuss/seek advice on.

Unless you are Kapu. Kapu is not allowed to seek advice if one of her friends was assaulted or potentially suicidal. And heaven help her if she posts poetry.

elena said...

Elena

Just a question. You didn't call that anon rude. Why not?


Actually it's half time right now (KU is playing) but I will answer since is seems important to you anon. Yes, that comment from last night was very rude also. However my belief is it was made to start shit and so I ignored it. Just as I should have ignored the one earlier. My bad.

Have a nice day. KU is in the lead at the moment if you're interested.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
nope, still sad in here and the intelligence quotient seems to have fallen several points. Ah, well.

March 22, 2009 11:13 AM




why are you here reading what all of us stupid people have to say?

shouldn't you be in your laboratory finding a cure for aids or cancer.

or making a man from scratch.

Anonymous said...

MAYO! GUESS WHAT?

I got a PSP! I'm so fangirlishly happy that it's damn near irrational. I got Final Fantasy Tactics also, just, you know, as a starter game. A gateway game. :D

Crisis Core is the real reason I got the PSP but I'm going to get that next month and play it on the airplane. Long flight, you know?

And guess what else? Mummy K bought a Wii for her and Daddy K! How awesome is that? I guess I'll go on over later and help them hook it up if they want. I so want Mummy K to kill some zombies one of these days. ;D

Granny K was up and about today, walking around the store which is so good for her. She looks so much better this week than she did last week. :)

Well, I hope that you are having a great day!

S(S)S, so, do you have the Wii? or a PSP or even...


...a PS3?

If you have a PS3 you'd better lock it up; I might steal it from you. ^_~

Have a great day, everyone!

Anonymous said...

IQ Vs. EQ
By Candy Tymson

You are on an interview panel working with a short list of three people for a senior role. Every candidate has top educational and technical abilities - how do you decide which one would be the best for the job?

Your company is downsizing and 20% of your team has to go. The decree is to keep 'the best people'. On what criteria would you decide who is 'the best'?

I picked up a book at the airport recently by Daniel Goleman on 'Working with Emotional Intelligence' … and just couldn't put it down.

According to Goleman "our emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning the practical skills that are based on its five elements: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships. Our emotional competence shows how much of that potential we have translated into on-the-job capabilities".

The Impact of Emotional Maturity

Think back to the top performers at your school, university or colleague. What are they doing today?

I know a number of people who are good examples of outstanding IQ and low EQ. One topped the State in his final year exam. Forty years later he lives alone and works as a postman. Another acquaintance came in the top twenty in the State, twenty years ago. He now works as a clerk in the taxation department.

And yet I know others who had mediocre academic performances and yet have been outstanding achievers in the business world. So do you.

A study of Harvard graduates in the fields of law, medicine, teaching, and business found that scores on entrance exams - a surrogate for IQ - had zero or negative correlation with their eventual career success.

So think back to the two scenarios: deciding whom you are going to hire or fire. What is it that would make you select one person over another of equal technical skills?

Star Performers Are Aware of Their Limits

Research has confirmed time and time again that it is a person's communication skills that gets them to the top - and keeps them there.

Ask any executive recruitment specialist and they will tell you that the emotional competence of the candidate is proving to be as important today as their intellectual competence.

It's not that star performers have no limits on their abilities but rather they are aware of their limits. In short, out-of-control emotions can make smart people ineffective.

What we are talking about is an ability to control and direct your emotions and feelings, but not being so controlled that you stifle all feeling and spontaneity - and therefore any spontaneous behaviour from those around you.

If you have emotional competence you have a choice as to how you express your feelings and how you act.

What are EQ Strengths?

How do you score according to Goleman's list of what characteristics determine how successfully you handle impulse and deal with upsets?

Do you have the following attributes?

* Self Control: Are able to manage disruptive emotions and impulses effectively

* Trustworthiness: Display honesty and integrity

* Conscientiousness: Dependable and responsible in fulfilling obligations

* Adaptability: Flexible in handling change and challenges

* Innovation: Open to novel ideas, approaches, and new information.

And how are you when people give you feedback? (Or indeed are you even open to accepting feedback?)

What we are effectively talking about is emotional maturity. An openness, willingness and self-confidence to develop and grow, to be mature in how we handle others and ourselves.

In business for example it is the ability to step aside from your emotional reaction in an upsetting circumstance and look logically at what actually happened - and sometimes being that honest can be very confronting! However it enables you to see where the other person is coming from, and what you need to do to fix things.

How's your EQ?

Anonymous said...

Distinctions: EQ v. IQ

By Susan Dunn, MA

DEFINITIONS

EQ - is a measure of your emotional intelligence, or your ability to use both your emotions and cognitive skills in your life. Emotional intelligence competencies include but are not limited to empathy, intuition, creativity, flexibility, resilience, coping, stress management, leadership, integrity, authenticity, intrapersonal skills and interpersonal skills.

IQ - a number used to express the apparent relative intelligence of a person that is the ratio multiplied by 100 of the mental age as reported on a standardized test to the chronological age. IQ is the measure of cognitive abilities, such as the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new situations; the skilled use of reason; the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests); mental acuteness; logic and analytical skills.

COMPARISONS

EQ gets you through life vs. IQ gets you through school

Appealing to reason and emotions to convince someone vs. Trying to convince someone by facts alone

Using your emotions as well as your cognitive abilities to function more effectively vs. Relying solely on your cognitive skills

Anonymous said...

EXAMPLE

Samuel had a high IQ. He could reason, was analytical and logical, and had a steel-trap focus on tasks. He learned new things quickly. However, he ignored how he was feeling and how others were feeling. If things didn't do the way he expected them to, he would lose his temper and lash out at others. He was unable to relate to people who weren't as smart as he was and lacked empathy. This limited his ability to be effective in team situations even though his IQ was very high.

Jose had a high EQ. He got along well with people, and managed his own emotions well. This made him highly effective in his work, even though there were others in the firm with higher IQs. Jose was able to consider the emotional component of interactions, using both his cognitive abilities and his understanding of emotions. He was able to influence and motivate people because he understood what mattered to them and was an excellent communicator. His authenticity and integrity made him a natural leader. He was flexible and creative when faced with a challenge, and resilient in the face of temporary defeats. He was well-liked and well-respected.

KEY POINT

Your EQ has more to do with your success and happiness in life than your IQ and emotional intelligence can be learned.

RELATED DISTINCTIONS

Knowing how and why vs. Knowing what

Knowing how to motivate each person vs. Treating everying as if they operated the same way which they don't

Managing emotions and using them for good results vs. Being at the mercy of emotions because you don't understand them or know how to work with them.

BENEFITS

When you recognize the difference between EQ and IQ, you can work to develop your EQ. It can be learned but has often been neglected in our education both at home and at school.









© Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc. Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this field, dubbed "white hot" by the press, now, before it's crowded. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine and more info.

Anonymous said...

Educational enough for you
ah well? Did you learn anything?

Anonymous said...

ms smarty pants anon at 4:10; if you had your thinking cap on, you would have already seen from previous posts, that this topic has been discussed eons ago.

Anonymous said...

That is certainly very informative, Anon.

I have always believed in the importance of high EQ as opposed to high IQ.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I am fine 2.36. How's you and your day?

Anonymous said...

You obviously didn't learn a thing from those previous posts first 4.27. Go back and read them.

Thank you second 4.27. Some things can never be repeated enough.

Anonymous said...

And where does it say topics can be discussed only once?

Some topics are broad enough to be revisited.

Does this topic make you feel uncomfortable 1st 4:27?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
And where does it say topics can be discussed only once?

Some topics are broad enough to be revisited.

Does this topic make you feel uncomfortable 1st 4:27?

March 22, 2009 4:32 PM




I was going to ask the same questions.

Do we need to make a list of everything that has been discussed in previous posts do we know never to mention those things again?

That would include everything said by everyone today.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't spring discussed last year? We can never discuss spring again.
Forget about discussing summer when it comes. Mark fall and winter off the list with an X. Been discussed. Can't revisit those subjects.

Anonymous said...

Kapunua,

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Kapunua,

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

March 22, 2009 5:03 PM



Well i'm so very sad for you. I will never put away childish things. It is what keeps us "young at heart"

Anonymous said...

sign in TS.

Anonymous said...

Sign in anon.

Anonymous said...

Corinthians anon, then I'd say it's a damned good thing that I'll never become a man. :)

No but seriously, it always makes me laugh a little when someone uses the Bible to try to school me in something, or change my ways. I don't believe in it, so it's not going to mean much to me.

As far as "putting away childish things," you know, it's odd. I think that my generation might actually be the first to "not put away childish things." Perhaps even the generation before mine?

And generations even before the Baby Boomers are taking up "childish things" once again. I was at the chiropractor's the other day and there was a couple who were in their early 80's, and they were extolling the virtues of the Wii.

The thing of it is that we have time these days. We have leisure. And how we choose to fill that time, barring going out and harming anyone else, is really up to us?

You like to watch TV? Or watch your favorite movies or whatever? Or read your favorite books?

Well so do I. But I also love to play my favorite games. It is a valid storytelling medium that actually lets you take part in the story.

Why is that such a "childish" pursuit, or why is it so much less worthy than watching TV or a movie? Or reading a book?

I guess I will never understand it.

Anonymous said...

Apparently you have NOT put away "childish" things.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 5:03. Does that mean that we have to eat old people cereal? Yuck!

Anonymous said...

Do you still play with Barbies too?

Anonymous said...

Do you still play with Barbies too?

March 22, 2009 5:33 PM


Not anymore. I still eat candy though.

Anonymous said...

No; but then when I was in college I knew this woman who was in her 30's or 40's at the time whose hobby was her Barbie dolls.

Back in the day when I had Barbie dolls, my cousins and I were playing atypical Barbie games, I guess you could say. They were all murder mysteries, with Barbie either the victim or the killer. I never liked Barbie too much. I did like PJ though.

Then Atari came out and that was pretty much it for dolls. I've been a gamer since then, anon. Since Pong and Pitfall Harry.

I was 14 when Nintendo came out and the first Zelda game was released and I was obsessed with it.

Unlike many kids though, my friends and I didn't stay indoors and do nothing aside from play video games. We played the video games, and then we went outside and acted them out. That was the best part. We wanted to be a part of the world; to stay inside the story.

And when you think about it, anon, it's adults who are making these games. You know? They're writing the stories, designing the characters etc. And I would say that they are pretty successful. :)

Anonymous said...

Anon, I have to go to my folks and set up their Wii. ^_^

Do yourself a favor though. Give playing another chance.

ergoproxy said...

good morning!

Hi K

I don't wanna go to work......
but gotta get ready........

blah.....

Anonymous said...

Japan is one of the biggest exporters of child pornography and animal cruelty Kapunua. Why don't you boycott their products? Isn't it true that these games all come from Japan? But that doesn't seem to stop you.

Anonymous said...

You don't stop playing just because you get old - you get old because you stop playing.

Anonymous said...

taps 5:49 on the shoulder and whispers

it's china ^.~

5:17 and 5:44
you play with your toys and let us play with whangs.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about how the very intellectual ah,well feels about playing dress up and coloring?

Anonymous said...

Don't get old 5:51 and 5:44

Anonymous said...

Stage your own personal wrestling match... with
baby oil and a protective spread for the bed.


^__^

Anonymous said...

No, I said Japan and I meant it. It's a well known fact that Japan is known for child pornography and whale hunting. Where is the boycott of Japanese products?

Smoke said...

Hey Mayo!

Having a nice Sunday? I hope you are! Mayo the kitty is sitting here looking at me and rolling around in my living room floor. He just took an hour long nap on my couch! Must be nice to be Mayo the kitty! Haha! Anyways, hope you have a wonderful week and hope to see you soon!

Hey SS!

Hope you are doing okay! Miss ya, dude! Sorry to say that SS Phantom Kitty is missing in action.

*Shout out to my homie, Phantom*

Hope you have an awesome week!

Anonymous said...

Sushi sucks. Boycott sushi.

Anonymous said...

You named your kitty Mayo?

Oh boi

elena said...

Hey all

Well KU won (and the crowd goes wild)

After the game I fell asleep and just woke up. A very lazy Sunday.

Hey Smoke nice to see you

Sushi Anon - sorry I love it too much so no can do.

Anonymous said...

going wild for ku

Anonymous said...

You obviously didn't learn a thing from those previous posts first 4.27. Go back and read them.

I beg to differ 4:30. You so obviously failed to understand how to develop and exercise this trait.

Go back and quaint yourself with Daniel Goleman. Put his other book, Social Intelligence on your list too.

Anonymous said...

Do we need to make a list of everything that has been discussed in previous posts do we know never to mention those things again?

No, it means that you are not that familiar with the ins and outs of this blog. You jump in and accuse others of certain behavior, yet you indulge in it yourself.

Anonymous said...

Took you all afternoon to come up with that did it? How many people were called in to help you with that comeback? You're so quick. Your social skills are as excellent as your ability to think on your feet. You're out the box anon.

ergoproxy said...

back for a quick goodbye

I'm off to work

see y'all later!!

Anonymous said...

Do we need to make a list of everything that has been discussed in previous posts do we know never to mention those things again?

No, it means that you are not that familiar with the ins and outs of this blog. You jump in and accuse others of certain behavior, yet you indulge in it yourself.



7:59

That really does not make any sense. I believe it was written in response to you saying that subject was discussed eons ago-so what?


March 22, 2009 7:59 PM

Smoke said...

Anonymous said...
You named your kitty Mayo?

Oh boi


Well, no, I didn't. Solly did and it was totally by accident. And he does go by Biscuits the majority of the time.

Yeah, I know. O_O

Hey Elena.

Anonymous said...

lol 8:01, i think you are right. i think that was a group effort (pretty poor though).

Anonymous said...

7:59
You may want to be quiet before you hurt yourself. I'm not the one who came in here insulting the good people of this blog because their chatter didn't live up to some pretentious person's expectations.

Not everyone here is trying to impress someone. Some of us don't need to use six syllable words or talk physics.

Still have yourself on that pedestal I see. Must be lonely all the way up there.

Anonymous said...

Took you all afternoon to come up with that did it? How many people were called in to help you with that comeback? You're so quick. Your social skills are as excellent as your ability to think on your feet. You're out the box anon.

Awww!, you went and hurt my feelings. I guess it's all due to your outstanding emotional Intelligence.

Anonymous said...

So, what's this?

nope, still sad in here and the intelligence quotient seems to have fallen several points. Ah, well.

and this?

yeah, whang talk is the epitome

Anonymous said...

Those aren't insults 8:04 and 8:14. Those are facts. The gospel of blog believe.

The gospel of the blind being led by the blinder. Haven't you paid attention to the ins and outs of this blog?

You must be a nitwit just like me.

elena said...

Hi Smoke

Thanks Crowd Anon

Well I'm off for a bit. Take care everyone.

Mayo

I might not make it back here tonight so take care and goodnight.

Anonymous said...

8:14

I would not continue with this.

This anon clearly does not understand emotional intelligence and I think the whole concept scares the shit out of them.

Why else would they try to stop you continuing with the topic today?

Anonymous said...

Let's play guess who 8:10 and ah,well is.

Anonymous said...

This is a non-denominational blog. Gospels don't exist here.

Your ins and outs must pertain to a parallel universe. The blind being led by the blinder is so two months ago.

BTW I am very proud of my nitwit status.

Anonymous said...

Take care elena. :)

Anonymous said...

they would never admit to being those people and would then whine about being persecuted!

i think it is between 3 blues though.

Anonymous said...

This anon clearly does not understand emotional intelligence and I think the whole concept scares the shit out of them.

And you do?

Anonymous said...

And you do?

Yup

Anonymous said...

They're not my ins and outs. They're 7:59's ins and outs. They're such an expert on blog believe.

I'm just a nitwit who jumped in without knowing anything about why the whang chattereres were being ridiculed, mocked and insulted. I have no emotional intelligence.

Which is why I felt no empathy towards the ones whose intelligence was being mocked.

I join you in the celebration of nitwithood.

Anonymous said...

Let's play guess who 8:10 and ah,well is.

This should be fun...

Yup

Fine anon, I won't shatter your fantasy.

Anonymous said...

Shatter your fantasy. Sounds like a great name for a video game.

Anonymous said...

Fine anon, I won't shatter your fantasy.

That is a very odd thing to say. You don't know me. Why do you think it is a fantasy and more importantly why do you feel the need to disparage people?

Anonymous said...

8:31
Let's write a new gospel. The Gospel according to nitwits. Could be a best seller.

Anonymous said...

I was 7:59, 8:37.

I think I misunderstood you. I offer you my sincerest apologizes.

I agree with your celebration anon. The nitwits and misfits of this world make life's experience so much richer.

Anonymous said...

and would it be written by ms nitwit smarty pants or by ms smarty pants nitwit?

Anonymous said...

Why do you think it is a fantasy and more importantly why do you feel the need to disparage people?



One of the best, most pertinent questions ever asked here. I would like to hear the answer to that one.

Anonymous said...

It would be cowritten by MRS nitwit smarty pants.

Anonymous said...

My money is on VV or GV.

Anonymous said...

Did I pin the tail on the right donkey?

Anonymous said...

Why do you think it is a fantasy and more importantly why do you feel the need to disparage people?

I wasn't trying to disparage you. There is a basic principle; the way you speak or come across to a person may be reflected back to you in their response.

I suppose the emotionally intelligent try not to react.

Anonymous said...

What the beef is going on? I scanned the comments and I'm so confused. Who is who and why are they fighting?

And, now it's bad to talk about physics too? Jeez. Poetry, quotes, song lyrics, video games, and now physics. I mean for pete's sake, dude. Just say it already.

Anonymous said...

It's bad to talk about whangs and anything that has been mentioned before
according to ah, well and 4:27.

That wasn't our rule. It was theirs. That's what the bleep is going on.


Thank you for input on the current topic of discussion.





I did get the right donkey didn't I.

Anonymous said...

I pinned that tail right on that jackass
while blindfolded.
What did I win?

Anonymous said...

lol. it's just too easy with them.

Anonymous said...

I think you have it all wrong. 4:27 responded to ah well who came across as having a chip on their superior intellectual shoulder.

4:27 may have been confused thinking ah well posted the emotional Intelligence information.

Anonymous said...

Of course people with EI will challenge behavior but they will not be intimidated by name calling, bullying etc.

Does it scare you when you cannot intimidate people?

Anonymous said...

You've won a lifetime supply of everything you have ever wanted.

And, you know what that'll get ya, right?

Anonymous said...

Sorry Dr Freud, who are you talking to?

Anonymous said...

Those who are capable of admitting they were wrong should all say i'm sorry for any misunderstandings today.

Those who aren't
should read more books and articles about EQ vs IQ.

Anonymous said...

There is a basic principle; the way you speak or come across to a person may be reflected back to you in their response.

Then you should speak in the manner you wish to be spoken to.

Anonymous said...

Where will it get me 9:35? Will it get me there fast? I'm in a rush.

Anonymous said...

Then you should speak in the manner you wish to be spoken to.

The person was responding the way that person spoke to them.

Anonymous said...

We need another donkey, a few more tails, and more blindfolds. I still want to know exactly what I won.

Anonymous said...

The person was responding the way that person spoke to them.

i believe 4:27 spoke before fantasy anon.

Anonymous said...

No, wait.

I don't even know what game you were playing.

How could I declare a winner?

How could I bestow winnings?

Needless to say, I am late, and I apparently have no idea what I am talking about.

Or, why.

Anonymous said...

ah well spoke before 4:27 and the fantasy anon.

Anonymous said...

I believe you're right 9:47.

I believe I'm in the middle of a lover's spat. Going now.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Ah, Well is here now.

Amyranth said...

Is there anyone here who actually wants to talk about how their weekend was?

Anonymous said...

I don't think 4:27 is either.

Anonymous said...

Hello Amy.

Tell us how yours was. Good, I hope.

Amyranth said...

10:01, it wasn't bad. I always put myself through a lot of stress when the in-laws arrive, but there was no point. Mister's mom had been here for about an hour when she said "Okay, so what are we doing tonight? I really want a DRINK!"

And jaws dropped all 'round. Mister's mother isn't even a social drinker, but her and I split a bottle of White Merlot, and had a giggly good time making dinner.

Saturday was fun too, a bit of shopping for things for the boys' camping trip in June, and then we came home and barbecued. I made a risotto, but found out that it really is best to use cheap wine. The good stuff just didn't cut it.

And this morning, we woke up to 20 cm of snow on the ground. Hoo-rah.

What about you? Anyone? Bueller?

Anonymous said...

a gift for ah, well

whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang,
whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang, whang,
WHANGSSSSSSSSSS


This piece of art is entitled the downfall of civilization

Amyranth said...

*stretches her legs out and wiggles her toes in front of the fire*

Anonymous said...

it is amazing to me that I made two comments this morning, yet am still being discussed hours later.

Amyranth said...

Welcome to Mayo's.

Anyway, I'm going to go and bake some cupcakes.

Have a good evening anyone and everyone.

Anonymous said...

Is that the priceless piece i won 10:21? I love it. Can I change the name to Civilization -- Going down?

Anonymous said...

Night Amy. Hey anons

Anonymous said...

Anons, LOL, you totally lost me. I can't seem to keep up. Whangs? Okay! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I don't know if you guys are fighting or agreeing with each other. O_o


Well, Mayo, so like I said, I'm superfly happy because I have a PSP. I'm such a simple creature. I hope that you also have some dumb little thing like that which makes you irrationally happy. :)

S(S)S, I dunno why, but you strike me as the type who would have something like that.

Oh! And Mummy and Daddy K really like the Wii! I'm so glad they have one. :)

Well, anyway, I'm off once more.

later all!

Anonymous said...

Whoop!

Anonymous said...

If that amazes you ah, well the only logical explanation would be

you haven't been around here much.

Which would lead to the question

Why were you insulting the good people who were here last night with these comments


Anonymous said...

nope, still sad in here and the intelligence quotient seems to have fallen several points. Ah, well.

March 22, 2009 11:13 AM

Ah, well said...

yeah, whang talk is the epitome.

March 22, 2009 1:01 PM


What's your agenda ah well. Not my usual word. It's a word others like to throw all around this place. When it suits them.

Anonymous said...

Hey bc.

Anonymous said...

Goodnite Amy.

Anonymous said...

I just noticed a huge change in the conversational content than when I was last here, and felt compelled to express my disappointment.

Anonymous said...

ah, well,

I guess you haven't been around here that long then. We tend to loosen up and talk about shit sometimes. Just to let you know.

Anonymous said...

What was being discussed the last time you visited ah well? How long ago was that?

Were beverages bursting through the walls or were condiments eating each other?



Refresh our memory and someone here might indulge you.

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